Shelly Gottlieb

EDUC 432 - Silimperi

Your Turn Lesson #1
June 2014

Teaching Content through Mentor Texts
Technique: Adding to Content - Explode the Moment


Hook: Have you ever had an incident when you felt that time slowed down and it
took forever for something to happen or for something to stop? People usually feel
this way when they are in a very exciting, scary, sad, surprising, or embarrassing
moment. Let me give you an example. When I was nine years old, my father took my
sister, two older brothers and me out to go bowling, my least favorite sport. Not
only did the bowling alley smell like dirty socks and sweat, but it was also crowded
and dark. No one wanted me on his or her team, because I consistently rolled gutter
balls. Now I attributed my low bowling score to the fact that I wasnt strong enough
to hold the bowling ball with one hand. I had to swing the bowling ball back
between my legs and then forward in order to get it to rollslowly down the lane.
One Sunday, we were settled into our favorite lane. The bowling alley was packed.
It was my turn to roll for my team and my lightweight bowling ball was already
slippery with perspiration. I grabbed it with both of my hands, walked up to the
edge of the aisle, and carefully placed my sweaty fingers into the holes. I
approached the edge of the lane, positioned my feet, sighed deeply, wiped my wet
forehead with my shirt sleeve, bent slightly, and then swung the bowling ball gently
back between my legs for the big roll. RIIPPP!!! Silence. Then a roar of laughter
exploded from the team seats behind me. What happened? What was that sound?
My pants felt looser. Did I feel air back there? It turns out that my pants burst open
along the back seam so that my entire backside was exposed. Everyone could see
my pink underwear! My face turned red, my ears grew hot, and I wanted to climb
into a hole. I was mortified!
Everything about that bowling alley moment seemed to be in slow motion for me
because at first I didnt know what was going on and then I wanted the moment to
be over.

Options:
Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
Home Run and Hoops by Robert Burleigh
Saturday and Teacakes by Lester L. Laminack
Crab Moon by Ruth Horowitz
A Taste of Blackberries by Doris Buchanan Smith

Purpose:
Domain Content, Technique Explode the Moment
Authors use this technique of slowing down a small moment or event to emphasize
what is happening and add more detail or content to their story. It is called
exploding the moment. They want the reader to feel as if they are in the scene
with the characters and to be able to see, hear, touch, smell, and taste everything in
the scene. By using sensory details, strong verbs, vivid adjectives, exact nouns, and
emotion, authors use this powerful technique to pull you into their story. Lets read
an example of this technique on page 164 and 165 in Out of the Dust.

After Read Aloud -
Brainstorm:
1. Take out your journals and draw a five-column graph. Head each column
with the words: exciting, embarrassing, sad, surprising, and scary. For my
graph, I will be putting the moment when I split pants at bowling alley in the
embarrassing column. Take ten minutes and write at least three different
moments or events under any of these columns.
2. Take a few minutes to share what you wrote with your partner.

Model:
The teacher makes another five column graph and labels the columns with: feel, see,
hear, taste, and smell. She rereads the excerpt in Out of the Dust. The class works
line by line to categorize phrases in the excerpt in the appropriate columns on the
board (example: we tumbled inside, gasping, our lungs burning for want of air
under the feel column and All the lamps were lit against the dark under the see
column). The teacher underlines a strong verb in red and a vivid adjective in blue.
She invites students to come up and underline the verbs and adjectives.

Shared/Guided Writing:
The teacher does a whip around and picks one of the students memorable moments
to explode in a guided writing exercise. The teacher asks the students to focus on
sensory details of what the character might feel, see, smell, taste, or hear during the
memorable moment. She categorizes the students responses on the sensory graph.
When all or the thoughts are up on the graph, the class thinks of strong verbs and
vivid adjectives to enhance the phrases and sentences. Then the class works
together to put the phrases and sentences together in order to create a first draft.

Independent Writing:
Students choose one of their memorable moments to explode in their journals.
They may use the sensory graph to organize their thoughts. After they have
categorized their thoughts, they go back and work on adding stronger verbs and
adjectives. Then they put their phrases and sentences in order and write out their
first draft. After students are done, they may share their writing if they want to.

Reflection:
Did you have enough sensory details to add to your memorable moment?
Did you go back and add stronger verbs and adjectives?
Did you think of a small moment from a movie or book to help you think of
ideas?
Did you find this technique helpful?
Do you think you will use it in your writing?