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Issue no.

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Vol. XXI No.5 Vote "YES" For Press! November 10, 1999

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Fall Elections
Student Polity.
Association, Inc.
November 10 and 11, 1999
9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.
There will be polling sites located in Roth Quad, Kelly
Quad, H-Quad, the library, Javits, the Student Activities
Center (SAC)and the Union.

Revote required to continue funding

these referenda groups:
Blood Drive, COCA (Movies), News Media, SAB
(Student Activities Board),
Specula (Yearbook),
The Stony Brook Press,
University Response (Hotline),
Women's Rugby and Polity's Undergraduate Student
Activity Fee.

If you would like to run a for a position or need more

info, call 632-6461 or stop by Student Polity Suite 202 in
the Student Activites Center.

"Worms World:
Elemental Cycling at the Seafloor"
By Prof. Robert C. Aller
Marine Sciences Research Center
SUNY Stony Brook

Sedimentary deposits are major sites of organic matter decomposition

and nutrient regeneration, particularly in shallow water shelf and estuarine
environments such as Long Island Sound. Sediments are also repositories and
natural processing sites for a range of anthropogenicwastes.
Bottom-dwelling animals play an extremely important role in con-
trolling physical and chemical properties of the seafloor, and can influence
plankton productivity in overlying water. Although muds and sands may
sometime appear quiescent and boring, the seafloor is in fact riddled with
structures formed by bottom-dwelling fauna, and is in a constant state of
dynamic renovation by inhabitants. Worms and other benthic organisms in
marine sediments can play biogeochemical roles analogous to those of earth-
worms in soils on land. For example, nutrient cycling processes such as
organic matter decomposition and natural denitrificationare greatly enhanced
by bottom-dwelling animal activity. One of the effects of low oxygen in over-
lying water is to eliminate large benthic organisms and thereby greatly alter
elemental cycling and storage processes at the seafloor.

Presentations are in Room 001 ESS Building SUNY Stony Brook,

November 19, 7:30 p.m.
There will be refreshments and demonstrations after presentations.
Admission is FREE!

More information about Geology Open Night

is on the web at
Telephone 516-632-8210
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By Deborah Sticher group like WISPIRG than to voluntarily donate support, while a safe haven for gays and lesbians,
money towards the cause. The Pacific Legal like the LGBTA on our campus or the Lesbian, Gay
Assuming you, the reader, are a full time Foundation, one of the groups supporting Bisexual Campus Center of Wisconsin might find
student here at Stony Brook, I would like to take this Southworth, said the school is "coercing [students] to more problems in the acquisition of funds. A fund-
opportunity to tell you that every semester, approxi- subsidize these groups which propagate speech they ing imbalance between clubs would inevitably be
mately one dollar of your money goes towards the abhor." created. This is why a distribution of funds must
publication of this fine paper. For full-time students, However, the money received in a student come from the student government organization.
this cut is allocated to us out of your $83.75 per activity fee transaction is ultimately filtered through The student government organization exists to man-
.semester student activity tee. the University. In 1957's Sweezy v. New Hampshire, age and create even-handed discourse, not to create
This fee is paid with your tuition it was established that "it is the business of a univer- factions.
bill, and it is mandatory. sity to provide that atmosphere which is most con- There is even a way to ensure that groups
Portions are also granted, at the ducive to speculation, experiment and creation." with little or no value never come into or perpetuate
discretion of Polity, to the intra- According to the United States v. the Associated existence. If one student finds a club so objectionable
mural system, men's and Press decision, the University setting should provide that he deems it dispensable, he can bring such con-
women's rugby, the Roth "wide exposure to that robust exchange of ideas cerns directly to the student government organiza-
Regatta, the New York Public Interest Research which discovers truth 'out of a multitude of tion that distributes funding. If the concerns are
Group, the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and tongues.'" Campus community and university life legitimate, hearings may be held. Beyond that, a
Transgendered Alliance, Blackworld, Stony Brook therefore becomes a reflection of the pluralistic soci- periodic referendum on the student voting ballots
Child Care, Animated Perspectives, Science Fiction ety in which we live. The University is a neutral should eliminate any question of what the majority
Forum, the Committee on Cinematic Arts, and the forum for ideas and a platform for discourse. And at will tolerate (which is, typically, a mandatory stu-
list goes on. The goal is for our school to offer as very least, learning to tolerate and respond to dis- dent activity fee).
many different kinds of programs, activities, and agreeable speech is a part of the educational process. In fact, this year, at Stony Brook, we are
organizations as possible so that everyone within our So the definition of this unique concept of going to be posed the question of whether or not we
incredibly diverse student body can participate in University has already been established, as in Healy want a mandatory student activity fee. Assuming
something that interests them. v. James: "The college classroom with its surround- the reader is enjoying this forum that allows I, the
In 1996, at the University of Wisconsin, ing environs is peculiarly the 'marketplace of ideas.'" writer, to inform and entertain you, the reader, I rec-
there existed a similar student activity Now that debate and diversity have been ommend continuation of this system. One should
fee of $165. As at Stony Brook, the fee accepted as imperative to the setting, who remember that the majority should provide space for
was mandatory. One could not partici- must pay fof it? the minority, so-as not to stifle them, and allow the
pate in the graduation ceremony without School newspapers have already minority flourish. After all, what does a
paying the fee. Furthermore, their fee been deemed necessary and viable in Univer ty have to offer if it does not offer a variety
went towards similar programs for simi- [- < il I mandatory student activity fees in such of programs?
lar reasons: to give the student body as a cases as Veed v. Schartzkopf (1973) and On November 9th, 1999, at 10 a.m.,
whole something constructive to do with them- Kania v. Fordham (1983). Carroll vs. Blinken (1992) Southworth vs. Grebe appeal was heard in front of
selves. To Scott Southworth, however, the wide more controversially upheld the use of mandatory the United States Supreme Court. This case has been
array of organizations offered by the University was fees to fund a public interest research organization. eagerly anticipated by student clubs and organiza-
a little too wide. With these precedents set, it seems strange then that tions in state college campuses across the country.
Specifically, Southworth objected to paying the Seventh Circuit Court did not rule in favor of the Although we do not yet no the results of the hearing,
for those organizations to which he was ideological- University. Their reason was that they were apply- hould the court rule in favor of Southworth, our own
ly and politically opposed. These groups included ing instead the precedents of Abood school will have to contend with some policy
such things as WISPIRG (the Wisconsin Public v. Detroit Board of Education and issues. It would nearly be out of the question to ask
Interest Research Group), the Lesbian, Gay, and Keller v. State Bar of California. each individual organization to provide its own
Bisexual Campus Center, the UW Greens, the These cases involve individuals " t funding, for the reasons mentioned before.
International Socialist Organization, the Militant questioning the mandatory funding However, there are solutions that still have a fee in
Student Union of the University of Wisconsin, the of organizations that use the fund- existence, but when the bill is received, each stu-
Student Labor Action Coalition, Student Solidarity, ing they receive for the exclusive dent may audit which activities they choose to sup-
and the Students of the National Organization of purpose of furthering an agenda. port individually. This may be presented in a form
Women. By paying the student activity fee, The organizations in question were, - of a list of those programs and organizations
Southworth felt that he was directly supporting respectively, a union and a state bar that took sides offered, and there may be instructions on the form as
causes with which he did not agree. This, however, on political and ideological issues. In contrast, the to how to get rid of those certain charges. This sys-
was not a simple case where someone did not want Southworth case had fees that went not to particular tem is currently in active use in the CUNY system for
to support intramural sports because they were groups, but to a student government organization certain groups. All people have to do is go to the
physically inept and would never use the service; that distributed the funding in a "viewpoint-neutral group and ask for a refund.
the organizations that Southworth opposed tended manner" (Amicus brief, American Council on Hopefully, though, the Supreme Court will
to take official political stances on certain issues and Education). The money received from the fee was not take Southworth's extreme stance of "dumping
were activist in nature. He felt that his money was managed for the specific purpose of creating a forum the entire system altogether". It is unfortunate that
subsidizing the expression of ideas that he would rather than furthering a political opinion. this case puts so many clubs and organizations at
never endorse. This was a First Amendment issue. But the question remains: Even if we need risk. Clubs and organizations not only provide the
Southworth joined forces with two other a forum so badly, why can't groups operate on their community and
law students and gained backing from legal founda- own funding? After all, if there is enough interest in Ssocial life of the
tions representing the religious right. Southworth v. running these clubs, surely there will be enough ded- campus, but also
Grebe was first tried in 1996. The suit went all the ication to fund them as well. Certain groups, like have proximal use
way to the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals, which newspapers that cover sports and campus events, of this grand educa-
declared that mandatory student fees for political could probably raise enough money from advertise- tional resource
and ideological student activities were unconstitu- ments and private doriation. Other groups, however, called a University,
tional. The plaintiffs contended that, rather than may be more hard-pressed for fundraising. Without We have a library,
have a University offer many different programs that dependable support, this would put undue stress on and space, and tools, and really smart people at our
permitted the expression of contrasting viewpoints, the staff of such an organization: the need to create a disposal. As a result students are at the forefront of
the University "would be better off dumping the fundraising post or committee. Clubs do not have activism and information. We need to be able to
[entire] system" (from a 1997 Student Press Law time to be in the business of fundraising; they need exercise all of what we have gained from the acade-
Center interview with Scott Southworth). This logic to be in the business of performing their objectives, mic end of the spectrum. We need this forum in
went against legal precedent, however, and by whether they be helping the homeless or providing a order to do this exercise.
March 29, 1999, the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals creative literary forum. Also, active competition for Vote here at Stony Brook on Wednesday,
granted the University of Wisconsin's petition for funding would actually create tension between November 10 and Thursday, November 11. There
appeal. groups that may be politically or ideologically will be polling sites in Roth Quad, Kelly Quad, H-
At the very root of Southworth's argument aligned or that have absolutely nothing to do with Quad, the library, Javits, the Student Activities
is Buckley v. Veillo which established the equiva- one another. Additionally, some groups are inher- Center, and the Union from 9 a.m. until 1 7 p.m.
lence between money and speech. Southworth was ently more attractive than others. An animation club
no less likely to verbally declare his support for a is reasonably innocuous and could readily acquire Illustrations by Deborah Sticher

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The Student Polity Association is seeking to con- As the question on the referendumn stands cu
tinue, for the next four years, the mandatory Student rently, a vote "no" to a mandatory student activity f
Activity Fee. A referendum has been placed on the would endanger many groups on campus. Polity has n<
Student Polity Election ballot that will allow students to thus far, disclosed a specific alternative to the mandato
vote on the matter. Voting "yes" would ensure the con- option. The repercussions of a voluntary student activi
tinued collection and disbursement of the $167.50 fee can not, therefore, be assessed at this point. Until
Student Activity Fee to campus organizations by Polity. detailed plan of the voluntary student activity fee is artic
Voting "no" would result in students choosing whether lated by Polity no student can make an informed decisi(
or not to support campus organizations with a voluntary in the vote. Additionally, students must not simply choo
fee, a move which could-result in student organizations to eliminate a mandatory fee without understanding tl
losing all or some of their funding. consequences of such an action.
The referendum comes at a time when the The alternative suggested in the above editorial
Supreme Court is about to hear a case which challenges the most reasonable alternative of those suggeste
the constitutionality of the mandatory Student Activity Unfortunately this solution will not be implemented unle
Fee on the grounds that forcing students to pay for other the SUNY Board of Trustees changes the current policy
student organizations, some of which are political in not granting refunds to students. Unless this policy
nature, constitutes an infringement on a student's free- changed, it is irresponsible to even suggest that a volunta
dom of speech. student activity fee is preferable.
While the Student Polity Association has made a We must vote "yes" for the current mandato
wise choice in allowing students to vote on whether the student activity fee because too much is at risk to be lo
fee should or should not be mandatory, this is not The student activity fee funds more than 150 groups <
enough. Even if the referendum passes by a majority campus that bring education, advocacy and fun outside
vote, students who are ideologically opposed to the the classroom. If a voluntary student activity fee is enacth
activities of others student organizations (or those who each group will have to fight to validate its existent
simply do not want to pay for said activities) will be Groups will become competitors and drown one anoth
forced, at the will of the majority, to support those activ- out.
ities. A majority vote is not cause enough to trample the Additionally, it is completely unrealistic to s
rights of the minority. Nor is it enough to say that any that groups will be able to "convince" students on this cai
student group that wants to can form an organization of pus of their importance. Would a math major necessar
their own.Allowing one to act does not justify forcing support a fine arts organization? Would someone
one to support another's action. Korean ethnicity necessarily see the need for a Lat
Students must vote "no" on the referendum to American organization?
continue the mandatory student activity fee. Then, if the Students organizations should not have to
mandatory fee is abolished, students and student leaders forced into the business of fundraising. It is far to time cc
must lobby polity to implement a fair system of volun- suming and detracts from the actual goals of the grou]
tary fee collection. In the interest of fairness, each stu- We need to uphold the mandatory student activity fee i
dent should receive with his or her university bill, a list- now, even if it slights the majority, because the paucity
ing of how much Polity has charged them for each stu- information regarding other alternatives gives us :
dent organization. If a student does not want to lend his choice.
or her financial support to a particular group, that stu-
dent should be able to request that the Bursar refund his including those like NYPIRG, which has played a role
or her money. Thus students will be charged the fee in helping students to access affordable higher educati
full, but have the option of getting reimbursed for those has some validity: Not forced to pay for campus acti
fees they choose not to support. ties, students will be less inclined to do so. This mal
Critics charge that making the student activity the jobs of campus organizations including, but not li
fee voluntary, in the absence of a clear plan to implement ited to NYPIRG and the student media, more diffici
this policy, may result in the collapse of campus organi- However, it does so at the benefit of the entire camp
zations. However, students will have a greater chance of community. If student organizations want funding th
getting a fair voluntary policy implemented if they vote are going to have to demonstrate to the their supporte
"no" to the mandatory policy. At least then, students can the students, why they deserve it. Student leaders v
encourage Polity to implement a plan like the one men- have to show their students why their organization is
tioned above. If, however, the mandatory fee remains, important component of campus life. If they can n
students will be stuck, for four years, with the status quo: then maybe they really are not important to the camp
an unfair and unjust policy. community as a whole. When forced to validate th
The criticism that a voluntary student activity
fee may result in the demise of campus organizations,
exdstence to their financial supporters, student organi2
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On November 10 and 11, the Student Polity money from Polity from a separate budget. Essentially, each
Association will be holding its fall elections. Several campus paper has three different funding sources. However, each JOURNALISM AWARDS
organizations, including the Student Activities Board, the source is equally important for these groups.
Blood Drive, and COCA, are up for referenda. The newspa- Because the Pressis the subject of two referenda this
per media, consisting of Statesman, Blackworld, Shelanu, and year, it is even more important that we get students' votes. O SECOND PLACE IN PHOTOGRAPHY
the Press,are also up for referenda. This means that students The Press was founded twenty years ago to give the campus 1998 CAMPUS
have the option of voting "yes" to continue funding these community an alternative source of information, including
organizations, or "no" to cease funding. The Press is also up investigative reporting, insightful analysis, and biting satire. ALTERNATIVE
for a separate referendum. For the past three years, we have We welcome all contributions and viewpoints from the JOURNALISM AWARDS
been getting 25 cents per student, and the referendum asks campus community, and are, in essence, an open forum for
students to continue this funding. The other newspapers the Stony Brook community. We need students to vote FIRST PLACE IN REPORTING
also have their own separate referenda, which come up to "yes" for the Newspaper Media and the Presson November FIRST PLACE IN HELLRAISING
vote in alternating years. Each also gets a certain amount of 10 and 11, so we can continue serving them. BEST SENSE OF HUMOR


By bhari Goldsmith
~"~Ps~Berre~nas~sep~8~s~ Isaars~plaar~paP~ 1 -- , ~

Campus Security Act, which included opening police crime statistics still go underreported because of a loop-

logs, by "altering the Buckley Amendment to explicitly hole that allows the tally to disregard crimes reported to
Living at the peak of the Information Age as say that certain disciplinary records are not covered by campus counselors, which distorts statistics specifically
we know it, Stony Brook students have grown familiar the law... Outcomes of proceedings involving crimes of regarding date rape.
with the University's snail's pace for implementing poli- violence or nonforcible sex offenses are no longer confi- Universities have also been given the responsi-
cies that enhance students' ability to obtain information. dential under FERPA," as described by the SPLC's bility of creating policies of "public notice" for criminal
The "Covering Campus Crime" discussion, on Covering Campus Crime Handbookfor Journalists. A tele- incidents that pose an "ongoing threat to the campus
Nov. 3, served to inform journalism students and any conference was held on Oct. 29 to clarify the _,, h community." Hiestand explains that colleges are sup-
interested parties as to the various legal responsibilities recent provisions of the law, as CongreM Sa timely report notifying the
that universities have to successfully satisfy inquiries for attempts to establish universal stan- oallow them to take precautions
information. Michael Hiestand, an attorney from the dards of crime reporting among colle hemselves. Most schools have
Student Press Law Center in Arlington, Virginia, campuses, as explained by Jennifer L. this policy, according
described some of the tools that the laws provide under Gunn's article "New Campus Policies' to Hiestand. Stony Brook
the ideal of "freedom of information," as part of the lec- the Nov. 1 Statesman. The final results have - Illustrationby \ ', "University's Deputy Chief of
ture series sponsored by the Martin Buskin Committee been specified to include the name of the Russell Heller Police, Doug Little, described the steps
for Campus Journalism. student, the violation committed, any sanction imposed - the police department takes (com-
Hiestand described some of the steps being by the institution on the student, and, with written con- municating in bulletin boards, over email, in residence
taken to impose regulations that would provide the pub- sent, the names of other parties involved. The law halls, and through on- and off-campus media outlets) to
lic with more accurate profiles of campus crime. In the intends to allow the disclosure of information pertaining make the community aware. Little also described their
past, there has been controversy regarding the confiden- to "serious" disciplinary offenses, the definition of which publication of an annual pamphlet with statistical infor-
tiality of the outcomes of cases heard by the Campus is still under discussion. mation, and their willingness to comply with any
Judiciary System. The system had initially been con- When I contacted Stony Brook's Office of the requests to view the daily police log.
structed to address academic offenses. Over the last Student Judiciary, regarding their policy on releasing Hiestand also described the legal policy of
dozen years, the content expanded to include criminal outcomes of disciplinary proceedings, their response Freedom of Information in regard to public bodies, i.e.,
cases of sexual assaults, robbery, physical assaults, etc. was that the information was "confidential." After those who receive public funds. Information legally
Thus, students with no specific legal training had been informing them that legally this justification doesn't available to the general public includes records compiled
given serious responsibility. The proceedings were con- apply, I was transferred to someone else, who repeated and minutes of meetings held by these bodies.
ducted secretly, and were considered the last closed the claims of confidentiality. In a discussion with Gary Censorship is one of the most pressing issues
court system. Because of the confidentiality of the sys- Mis, Director of JudicialAffairs at Stony Brook, Iwas told the Student Press Law Center deals with. Kentucky
tem, the criminal activity judged over by these courts is that a committee has been set up to define Stony Brook's State University is currently involved in a censorship
excluded from campus criminal profiles. Universities policies in light of the new laws passed by Congress. case, Kincaid v. Gibson. Recently, the U.S. Sixth Circuit
were able to do this by quoting provisions of the Family Mis said that the discussion of Stony Brook's procedure Court of Appeal in Cincinnati upheld a ruling that
Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), otherwise of divulging information about the outcome of discipli- school administrators have the right to censor college
known as the Buckley Amendment, which prohibits nary hearings would be concluded in a couple of student media.
them from releasing the educational records of students. months. Until Stony Brook's updated policies are The Student Press Law Center strives to
The term "educational records" had not been clearly arranged, according to Mis, the current policy will inform and assist high school and university students
defined, and was used loosely to include securing the remain confidentiality, across the country. Bob Tieman, the Stony Brook profes-
confidentiality of criminal activity committed on college Hiestand also discussed the responsibilities of sor and Newsday reporter who moderated
campuses. campus police to publish yearly campus crime statistics the evening, said, '"You must learn to leverage the

unlawful activity. This, however, is basically a moot will indeed find these searches to be constitutional.
The Supreme Court will soon be issuing a point in light of the warrant requirement clause, which First, Supreme Court precedent shows that the current
decision on a question that has plagued state supreme is where most of the contention will be centered in this Court usually rules in favor of law enforcement officials
courts for the last decade: Do police officers have the case. when it comes to probable cause and the warrant
right to search an individual engaging in "unprovoked Though the Constitution would seem to requirement. Secondly, search and seizure precedent
flight"? An affirmation of this question would allow demand a warrant in order to make searches and (as shown to some extent above) seems to far outweigh
police to chase down and search individuals whose seizures legal, many Supreme Court cases have decid- the necessity of individualized suspicion, something
flight was thought to be provoked by the mere appear- ed that the amendment suggests (rather than demands) which the Court maintains is not required in search and
ance of police officers in their vicinity. the necessity of a warrant. The Court has gone so far as seizure cases. Finally, it is necessary to consider the
The case they will hear centers around the to say that "when a warrant is not required... probable political pressures being placed on the court to adopt
conviction of William Wardlow, an individual who was cause is not invariably required either" (Vemonia v. this policy. The Clinton administration argues that flee-
involved in an "unprovoked flight" situation. The inci- Acton, 1995). Thus far the Court has recognized seven ing from police, by itself, is indeed a "suspicious cir-
dent occurred in 1995 when officers, patrolling a high general exceptions to the warrant requirement involv- cumstance warranting further investigation" in the
crime area of Chicago, apprehended William Wardlow, ing search and seizure cases, including the following form of a limited pat-down search. Such "limited pat-
who had sprinted up an alleyway upon seeing the four: (1) searches incident to a valid arrest; (2) searches downs" are currently constitutional and could lead to a
patrol car. A pat-down search of the suspect after he to ensure that evidence is not lost; (3) searches to ensure more extensive search should the officers believe that
was chased down by officers uncovered a handgun. the safety of law enforcement officials; and (4) searches the individual is carrying something illegal. In the past,
Wardlow was arrested, and the handgun was eventual- done in "hot"pursuit. cases of unprovoked flight resolved in favor of the sus-
ly used as evidence in his conviction. The Supreme Court, in deciding this case, will pect have been reversed due to political pressure, dis-
Search and seizure cases involve the Fourth have to agree on whether or not the "unprovoked flight" playing the fact that courts are not a completely separate
Amendment of the Constitution: "The right of the peo- doctrine constitutes a general exception to the wanrrant branch of government, and that they often must curb
ple to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and requirement. The Court could easily refer to the above decisions to meet the political agendas of the other
effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, exceptions to justify searches and seizures involving branches of government.
shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but unprovoked flight. First, if unprovoked flight, in and of Such a decision will undoubtedly have a great
upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, itself, justifies the labeling of an individual as a suspect, impact on inner city areas that already display strains
and particularly describing the place to be searched, then the search could be viewed as being done in on police-minority relations. Furthermore, such an
and the persons or things to be seized." hot pursuit of a fleeing suspect. Secondly, as a suspect exception would create a tool that police might misuse
This amendmenit, found in the Bill of Rights, constitutes a form of evidence, chasing down someone in order to attain primarily unrelated goals. For exam-
can be viewed as containing two clauses. First, the who flees in this manner could be viewed as a form ple, if a large shipment of illegal arms hit the streets, offi-
amendment outlaws "unreasonable searches and of evidence preservation. Once they apprehended the cers might patrol certain areas in the hopes that their
seizures." Secondly, the amendment maintains the criminal, evidence preservation would also justify the presence might provoke an individual to flight, thereby
requirement of a warrant for a search to be constitu- actual search itself. Next, the officers would be allowed granting themselves the right to chase down and search
tional. In cases of this nature, many argue that chasing (under exception 4) to search the individual to ensure the individual. This decision, whether affirming or
down and searching an individual who flees without their safety. If an illegal weapon or substance were reversing the "unprovoked flight" doctrine, will
provocation falls well within the terminology of being a found on the individual, the search could finally be undoubtedly result in a law enforcement environment
reasonable search. They believe that an individual viewed as a search incident to a valid arrest. charged with political and racial overtones.

ISSUES BI~Rsss~aaraQ~Wl~glB~J~i~a~

D i s m a n t in the State
By Ali Shehzad Zaidi effectively and efficiently." ing sense of crisis among SUNY's faculty. From
"Financial flexibility" suits Chancellor 1994 to 1996, SUNY lost 1,597 full-time
The State University of New York turned Ryan. During his first year in office, the trustees professors-14% of its faculty. SUNY adjuncts
fifty in 1998, but its mission-to provide New gave Ryan a 45% raise, bringing his salary to twice now teach 40% of SUNY's courses. Tenure at
Yorkers with quality education at low cost-is that of the governor. SUNY presidents were given SUNY, already eroded by the growing use of part-
endangered. Earlier this spring, SUNY faculty pay-for-performance salary packages and will be timers, is further threatened by SUNY's invest-
finally responded by revolting and issuing an paid according to how they carry out the new ments in distance learning technology. In the past
unprecedented demand for the removal of the agenda. The incentives are not strictly personal; two years, the SUNY Learning Network has
state-appointed University trustees. campuses will receive extra fmunds for increasing tripled the number of courses it offers through the
New York public college tuition increased teaching productivity. Internet. SUNY faculty may see their control over
at three times the national Touting "greater man- the curriculum diminished by the increasing use of
average-from $1,350 a agement autonomy" and distance learning.
year in '89-90 to $3,400 in "empowerment" for individual Faculty recruitment at SUNY is in decline.
'95-96. This hike is particu- campuses, Pataki's appointees In 1990, SUNY outbid 80% of the nation's colleges
larly glaring because the recently attempted to introduce and universities in the salaries it offered to new
income gap between the variable tuition rates at SUNY faculty; by 1996, SUNY could only outbid 40%.
rich and poor in New York campuses. While these currently SUNY faculty went without a contract from 1995 to
now surpasses that of any exist only at SUNY's two year 1997. Negotiations stalled when the faculty union,
other state. In a recent technical colleges, the aim is United University Professionals (UUP), refused to
study, the New York Public clearly to extend them. A new allow outsourcing of faculty positions to corpora-
Interest Research Group "operating freedom" is the right tions.
noted that the percentage to name buildings and grounds As SUNY shifts from full to part-time
of average family income after living individuals. Instead labor, it is also undergoing changes in the educa-
needed to pay college of honoring the deceased, SUNY tion it provides. Federal and state tax dollars, not
tuition at New York public now honors the highest bidder. to mention student tuition, are flowing into tech-
universities more than .The trustees also grant- nology centers such as the Center for
doubled from 4.6% in '89- ed such "freedoms" as waivers Environmental Sciences and Technology
90 to 11.25% in "95-96. Shirley selling SUNY's soul for five community colleges to Management. The aim, says SUNY Albany
Consequently, between 1995 Jexceed their annual tuition limit, President Karen Hitchcock, is "to help move the
and 1997, there was a 20% drop in freshman enroll- and permission for individual campuses to set best ideas of university researchers into the mar-
ment from families earning between $21,000 and their own dormitory rates. They attempted to ketplace." SUNY has increased matching funds for
$45,000 a year, and a 14% drop from those earning introduce "management flexibility" for SUNY's sponsored research at its colleges. A new budget
between $45,000 and $85,000. Meanwhile, 14% teaching hospitals to enable them to compete in initiative for 1999-2000, "SMART-NY," would
more freshmen enrolled whose families earned today's managed care environment. These initia- match sponsored research funding with SUNY
more than $105,000. tives are fragmenting SUNY and are eroding broad money. Meanwhile, traditional disciplines are
SUNY's crisis began in the 1980s when and equal access to higher education in New York. being scaled back.
Governor Mario Cuomo and the state legislature In the latest SUNY budget, adopted in The corporate presence takes different
enacted tax cuts, particularly for corporations and June 1998, the trustees determined that colleges forms at more liberal arts-oriented schools like
the wealthy. Together with a recession, these tax will no longer receive funds solely from a central SUNY Geneseo. "You won't see as much corpo-
cuts led to New York State budget shortfalls. New budget, and will keep their own tuition and fees. rate-sponsored research here as you would at, say,
York public college tuition more than doubled SUNY's new financing scheme is called "Resource SUNY Binghamton or Albany," says Jay Hamilton,
between 1990 and 1992 for SUNY students 73% of Allocation Methodology (RAM)." Previously, col- an assistant professor in the Department of
whom receive financial aid. Cuomo's Republican leges received funds according to their purpose, Communications at SUNY Geneseo. "Instead,
successor, George Pataki, immediately enacted for mission and need. Today, student enrollment and many of our learning resources are corporate spon-
the '95-96 school year the largest tuition increase in market-driven imperatives determine campus sored."
SUNY history-a $750 hike accompanied by a $200 budgets. Nineteen SUNY campuses stand to lose The school, like most throughout the
million cut in SUNY's operating budget. That year, funding because of RAM and will have to either nation, receives equipment that has been donated
SUNY student enrollment dropped by 10,000. cut programs or raise mandated student fees, by large corporations in exchange for what
By 1995, most SUNY trustees were Pataki which now average $485. The fees, which are not Hamilton describes as "an increased corporate
appointees, including E. E. Kailbourne, chair of covered by TAP, are a covert means of introducing presence on campus."
Fleet Bank, Edward Cox, son-in-law of Richard variable campus tuition. Last fall semester, Hamilton says, Kodak
Nixon, and Candace DeRussy, co-founder of In a 1999 study on RAM, Thomas Kriger supplied his department with three low-line
Change New York, a powerful anti-tax organiza- observes: "RAM must be understood in the con- digital cameras. In exchange, Kodak was permit-
tion. In January 1996, the new trustees forced text of the managerial I to provide a presen-
Frederick Salerno, a Cuomo appointee, to resign as reform movement that is tation to the com-
board chair. Afterwards, they denied SUNY currently transforming the munications stu-
Chancellor Thomas Bartlett the authority to world of higher education dents. "There were
appoint his own staff. Bartlett had disagreed with budgeting. These reforms probably about 100
the governor's plans to cap Tuition Assistance m a r people there,"
Program (TAP) grants, saying, "We cannot turn the influence of a new gen- Hamilton says.
our backs on those who need our help the most." eration of more conserva- "What I thought
Deprived of decision-making power, Bartlett tive, 'activist,' university was going to be a
resigned in June 1996. trustees. They also illustrate discussion about
State support to SUNY's operating bud- the widening influence of new technology and
get dropped from 90% in 1988 to 45% in 1996. In neoclassical economics (an advancements in the
"Rethinking SUNY," a plan submitted to the New emphasis on competition, 1 field turned into a
York State legislature in December 1995, the new maximization of self-interest as a prime factor in bald-faced sales presentation for Kodak products."
trustees called for SUNY to become "more self-suf- human behavior, the primacy of profit as a value in Last year, the Department of
ficient, more entrepreneurial, more focused and human interactions) on higher education policy Communications at SUNY Geneseo reduced its
more creative." In a statement issued together making). As with RAM, performance funding is a five tracks of study to two combined tracks.
with the heads of other New York State universi- method for SUNY to gain greater managerial con- During her senior year Maria Lambert, an organiz-
ties, SUNY's new chancellor John Ryan explained: trol-or flexibility in the consultants' language-in ing director for the Student Association of the State
"Just as the businesses and industries we support the workplace. It is not by coincidence that University of New York (SASU) and recent gradu-
must be flexible to meet the constantly changing SUNY's recent move toward performance-based ate of SUNY Gerneseo, had her track, rhetorical
demands of the economic and academic market- funding is associated with RAM; both originate in studies, eliminated from the department.
place, so must our own institutions be given the the Total Quality Management (TQM) movement." "I still graduated with rhetorical studies
managerial and financial flexibility to operate These developments underscore a grow- on my diploma, but I never had a chance to take a


~L~L~·b~B~I~PL~CB~~~se3~a~ ISSUES
ve rs ty York
number of courses that were part of that track," ture, towards one another." There is a growing trustees to task for abrogating their responsibilities
she says. "Instead I had to enroll in lower-level sense of powerlessness, says Schweizer, "as more to the university system.
courses for additional information." Lambert says people get shoved by the wayside, and as the gains John Mather regards himself as both an
even the threat that low-enrollment majors may be by the middle class and the unions during the '50s idealist and a pragmatist, and has set out to defend
eliminated has a "chilling effect" on campus and '60s slowly get rolled back." the public stake in SUNY. He opposes the decision
because students are fearful of enrolling in majors Students have difficulty imagining alter- to fire three hundred administrators at SUNY
that may not exist in the next academic year. natives to the system that conditions their very Central Administration, a move he believes will
Bruce Van Hise, executive director of col- thinking. As Ralph Nader observed during an cause SUNY's sixty-four campuses to duplicate
lege advancement at SUNY Brockport, where only October 1996 talk at SUNY their functions with a pro-
3 percent of outside funding comes from private Binghamton, "We have to imag- liferation of local adminis-
sources, says a "significant increase" in corporate ine the manufacturing of sup- trators. Mather is troubled
funding can be expected in the next 10 years. Still, pressed imagination is part of by what he calls the "RAM
Van Hise, who was involved in raising private the consequence of growing up scam," by the cuts to the
funds for the new Bausch and Lomb Public corporate, growing up looking Tuition Assistance
Library, says he has never "experienced any pres- at the world through the eyes of Program, and by attempts
sure from private sources who donate funds." the dominant institution of soci- to eliminate the Equal
"For us to change our organization to raise funds ety." Opportunity Program
would be improper and foolish," says Van Hise. The changes at SUNY (EOP), a program for disad-
At SUNY Old Westbury, a four-year col- affect Schweizer, who hails from vantaged students that
lege on Long Island, the administration eliminated the Bronx, in a personal way. Mather, then a SUNY offi-
French language instruction, faculty positions for "Although I can pay for school," cial, helped create in 1966.
the writing center, the program in English as a he says, "I have siblings who Maple Sweeney, a New
Second Language, and the college's unique per- may not be able to because of the York City native and
forming arts program in African American music constant tuition increases, International Relations
and dance. The number of full-time faculty because of the privatization and senior at SUNY Brockport,
declined from 146 in '89-90 to 107 in '96-97, leading the neo-liberalization of the says she wouldn't be at
to a steep rise in the student-faculty ratio, from 22.2 academy that is really making it Brockport if it weren't for
in '89-90 to 30.2 in '95-96. SUNY's research univer- hard for urban, working class S UNY Trustee Candace DeRussy EOP. "I am qualified," says
sities are also being restructured. Two years ago, people to pay for school." Sweeney. "I have the grades.
SUNY Albany's administration closed down the SUNY Binghamton's fading public identi- I just don't have the means. It's unfortunate that
German department, fired its four tenured profes- ty is symbolized by its recent name change to my mother doesn't have a lot of money, but people
sors, and merged the French department into a "Binghamton University." The transition from of misfortune need help reaching their potential. If
newly created Modern European Languages state-supported to state-assisted university is hav- the cuts to EOP continue, people like me won't
department. It simultaneously hired 19 new pro- ing lasting repercussions. "Departments in the even be able to consider coming to Brockport."
fessors in other disciplines as part of what it called humanities are being drastically scaled back as Many SUNY students feel the same way.
a "strategy of investment in strength." Invariably, part of the Rethinking SUNY plan," notes Jennifer Student debt is on the rise. Between 1990 and 1995,
strong disciplines are those that engage in corpo- Lutzenburger, a graduate student in English. "Our there was a 65% increase in the amount of federal
rate sponsored research. university... is being shifted to a business and loans owed by SUNY graduates. Among Mather's
In an open letter in the November 7, 1997 vocationally-oriented center. The English depart- allies is SASU, which brought 15,000 students and
Albany Student Press, French professor Helen ment received two funding lines [for two faculty their supporters to Albany on February 15, 1995 for
Regueiro Elam wrote that the SUNY Albany positions] to replace the eight faculty members we SUNY's lobbying day. SASU organized a protest at
administration "has transformed the university have lost and are planning to lose through retire- State Senator Joseph Bruno's 1997 graduation
into a country club...with utter disregard for intel- ment. There is no indication from the dean that we speech at SUNY Albany. Last year, SASU initiated
lectual values, pedagogical priorities, or the larger will receive more lines." a letter writing campaign in an effort to persuade
role of a university in a' democratic culture." This story is being repeated elsewhere. At legislators to restore SUNY's funding.
Students at SUNY Albany, she believes, are becom- Monroe Community College (MCC), the faculty This sort of activism is becoming a neces-
ing processors of information rather than critical and staff voted last year to allow increases in class sary part of SUNY campus life. Students at SUNY
thinkers, as corporations increasingly dictate sizes, reduced salary raises, and fewer earned Geneseo hold an annual, week-long "Budget
SUNY's curriculum. vacation days in order to avert layoffs. With state Advocacy" campaign, where they distribute infor-
Another critic of recent developments at subsidies in decline, MCC recently entered into mation about state budget cuts, organize letter-
SUNY Albany, English professor Teresa Ebert, partnership with the optics industry and the writing campaigns to legislators, and hold a rally.
described in an essay the economic pressures on Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, a key This past academic year, students at SUNY
humanities departments, which include "cutting player in nuclear weapons development. Geneseo focused on making the public aware of
their budgets, limiting .... Pataki's tuition hikes, tuition increases and cutbacks in TAP and EOP.
new hiring, increasing the budget cuts, and Over the past four years, as state funding
teachings loads of their fac- L .'
of EOP has diminished, students at SUNY
ulty, suspending' admis-lllll||||iB Brockport launched a letter-writing campaign and
sions to their graduate thel iu|tin Se: m
cherished SUNY's lobbied in Albany. Nearly 8,000 letters were sent
programs or eliminating 11- iilf
. :::;
from the Brockport campus to state legislators, and
them altogether, and sub- .. ..
. .. i early years. Among EOP was restored to three-fourths of its initial
stituting part-time contin-
gent knowledge workers
being dlr | ! Gould, who headed
operating level, says SUNY Brockport EOP
Director Terrence Barnes. Students continued to
for full-time positions." i iiil e d•l the SUNY system
................................... fro m 1964 to 1971, lobby for the final 25% of funding, which passed
These pressures w ill jeop-.................... the legislature but was ultimately vetoed by
ardize more than the well- lwhen its enrollment Pataki.
being of SUNY. As Ebert doubled. In October Mather hopes that the lobbying efforts of
points out, educational issues are at "the very '95, Gould, in retirement in Florida, called his for- SASU, together with growing public awareness of
matrix of the forces shaping citizenship, and affect mer assistant, John Mather and urged, "Drive the SUNY's importance, will reverse the neglect and
the shape of labor relations, the structure of the Vandals from the gates." A month later, Mather abuse of the university system. "Before Pataki
distribution of wealth and access, and the very responded by founding Preservation of SUNY. It became governor in '95, appointees checked their
forms of daily life." now includes fifteen former SUNY trustees, four- corporate connections at the door," said Mather in
Errol Schweizer, a SUNY Binghamton teen former campus presidents, and twenty-four a recent interview. "They functioned independent-
senior who edited the student publication Off!, former university administrators as well as alum- ly in the discharge of their fiduciary responsibili-
described, in a spring '98 interview, the formidable ni, students, businessmen, and former state offi- ties, recognizing that the shareholders of SUNY are
obstacles to activism at SUNY. "I think even worse cials. Mather has published op-ed pieces in the the people of New York." As Mather sees it,
than the apathy," he says, "is the anomie, the pro- Legislative Gazette, the Albany Times-Union, and the
Binghamton Sun and Press Bulletin, taking the SUNY continued on page 1 0
found alienation that we all feel towards our cul-
NOVEMBER 10, 1999 PAGE 7
I I rL · I · · I I I Il

By Dan Skinner
. .................
........ ........

.. ..
...... * .: -1
.... ...
is a win-win proposition for any politician -democratic or dear signal to those stuck in the rotating door of the crim-
republican. inal justice system that they will never again be an
Among other repugnant distinctions in the the- This point is heightened when one considers upstanding member of society and should thus be dis-
atre of human rights abuses, the United States holds that the startling trends of increases in the incarceration of carded. These proponents, however, are the same people
of denying the most mentally capable citizens per capita non-violent felons-especially those arrested on petty that will be the first to complain when recidivism rates
the right to vote. drug possession charges. In many states, a one-time mar- rise-with the action of choice usually being a cutback on
Felony disenfranchisement laws deny the right ijuana possession charge could result in permanent loss social and rehabilitative funding because it seems have
to vote to those currently incarcerated, paroled, probated of one's right to vote. In light of the demographics of failed. Yet, they never gave it a chance in the first place.
or, in the case of 15 US states, even ex-felons who have exactly who these laws are affecting, it seenms that Keeping those that they have deemed a threat to their
paid their debt to society. igan's "War on Drugs" might political agenda in prison is their well-achieved goal.
This is all part of a calculated be better termed America's, To afford prisoners every possible avenue for
effort to systematically "War on Black People." real rehabilitation and assimilation into society after
destroy what big govern- While several countries, incarceration is key to the spirit of true change. Efforts
-ment considers a superflu- including Finland and New must be made to reduce every source of alienation from
ous and worthless popula- Zealand, have temporary the system that has detained them. In fact, giving them
tion by stripping them of the disenfranchisement laws, the power to participate in the voting process would
available and legal mecha- these laws are almost exclu- empower many of the prisoners who have spent their
nisms of change--so-called sively applied to those who time incarcerated educating themselves to earn a GED,
"institutional death." have been convicted of elec- work toward a college degree or, in some cases, help to
The figures are toral crimes. Such laws are prepare their own defense. Taken even symbolically, the
astounding. According to a supported with the idea that right to vote offers many people a feeling that they have
1998 study by Human Righ these people are a threat to a voice.
Watch on the impact of felon -perhaps the only reasonable Prisoners are the only people who truly know
United States, almost 4 million US citizens were denied argument one could muster to support stripping some- how the criminal justice system works. They know
their right to vote, resulting in thedisenfranchisement of one of their ability to participate in the voting process. US where the problems are and what life is like inside. To
13.1% of the total US population of black men. 31% of hypocrisy is further highlighted by the fact that broad deny prisoners the right to use their vote to influence
black males in Alabama and Florida are permanently dis- felony disenfranchisement laws are in strict violation change in the criminal justice system is akin to denying
enfranchised, as are 25% in Iowa, Mississippi, New with both the UN Declaration of Human Rights and the workers the right to vote to influence labor reform. The
Mexico, Virginia and Wyoming, and 20% in Delaware International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights. accepted belief is that these issues are best left to the law-
and Texas. While New York does not permanently dis- As you might guess, proponents of US disen- makers. Of course, these lawmakers are almost entirely
enfranchise felons, 126,800 prisoners and paroled felons franchisement laws are hard pressed to offer any concrete rich white men who wouldn't dare ever even visit a
were temporarily disenfranchised in 1998. justification for the legitimacy of these laws. Those who prison.
What impact does disenfranchisement have on support disenfranchisement are, for the most part, indoc- The fact is that, for many primarily black com-
the criminal justice system and society at large? For one trinated by stigmas surrounding prisoners, with no sense munities, going to prison has become just another part of
thing, disenfranchisement invariably increases the sense of the bigger picture or understanding-of the impact such life. This is especially true in this age of rampant racial
of overall alienation that one who has served his or her regressive laws have on society. profiling and rounding up of those who the police rec-
time feels upon re-entering the outside world. Such They are the same people who might believe ognize merely because they have a past record. Her
hopelessness for rehabilitation sends this superfluous that a case with questionable facts should be decided on again, their presence on the street is an indication to the
population into a downward spiral of misanthropy that the side of the state because the defendant "probably did police that they must be doing something wrong. Not
can then be used by the government to justify their fur- something wrong." The political end result is that the being able to have an impact on the laws that most effect
ther incarceration. It is a cycle that can be enhanced and disenfranchised will be some of the most likely to remain one's
self-sustaining, as politicians instill yet more fear of these in the criminal justice system, while politicians benefit community is clearly a component of institutional death.
people into society-which then calls for stricter laws. from the publicity generated by keeping these so-called Disenfranchisement laws will inevitably force a percent-
The more people the government incarcerates, the more misanthropes in prison. In political terms, these people age of prisoners interested in reform to rely upon illegal
the politicians are hailed as the great protectors of civic are kept in line and silenced. avenues of change and are among the most socially
stability and safety. Silencing the superfluous population Support of disenfranchisement laws sends a regressive and unjustifiable laws in US legal system.


- I· · I I I I · I I

SUNY's new trustees "believe in a stratified society must comply with federal and state regulations, union to declare "no-confidence" in the trustees
in which there is a permanent underclass." including those regarding affirmative action; and and to ask the governor to remove them. Their
From his perspective as a former SUNY that SUNY "is an entity at law; not subject to joint resolution censures the Board of Trustees for,
administrator in the '60s, Mather is dismayed at actions that would fragment or dismantle it." among other things, "failing to conduct fair and
the attitudes of today's public officials. Governor Many hoped that the record $2 billion open searches for the most senior administrative
Nelson Rockefeller, Mather recalls, placed absolute surplus in the 1998 New York State budget, would positions in the University and disregarding affir-
trust in SUNY administrators and would not improve SUNY's fortunes, which had been sub- mative action guidelines,.. . allowing ideological
attempt to influence their decisions. That trust has jected to fifteen consecutive budget cuts. In April views to dictate the academic direction of the
evaporated under Pataki, who has placed 1998, Pataki vetoed many of the state legislature's University, ... failing to advocate for strong finan-
Republican operatives in key appropriations for cial support for the University, . .. seeking to sig-
administrative positions at SUNY, including an $8.8 nificantly disrupt the public mission of high qual-
SUNY. million increase to hire ity health care delivery to the people of the State of
Donald Dunn, a First new faculty, a $3.8 mil- New York by attempting to remove State
Deputy to the Governor, was lion EOP restoration, a University of New York's teaching hospitals from
appointed Executive Vice $150 per student the University,... [and] violating its own policies
Chancellor without a search for increase in state aid to by imposing a mandated general education policy
the position. David Farren, the community colleges, for all campuses without the direct involvement of
husband of New York State and a $65 per student legitimate faculty representatives, chief academic
Health Commissioner Barbara book purchase credit for officers, or presidents."
DeBuono, was appointed public college students. The faculty addressed the governor, legis-
Associate Vice Chancellor for Matters came to lature and people of New York: "Never before
Marketing and Enrollment a head on December 15, have we so spoken and we do so now only from
Management. David Bilett, a 1998, when the trustees the deep conviction that the University is in a time
former staff member of John approved a SUNY core of great jeopardy." Shortly afterwards, in a April
Faso, the Republican Assembly curriculum, effective 5, 1999 letter to the trustees, Chancellor Ryan
Minority Leader, was named Fall 2000. Four trustees, wrote: "All of us are engaged in a renaissance of
Associate Vice Chancellor fo working with two the State University that is both challenging and,
Governmental Relations. I jadministrators, had at times, contentious. But we cannot step back
Michael Clemente, a former assistant to Jim drafted the curriculum without consulting the from the challenge simply because some people
Natoli, Pataki's Director of State Operations, was Faculty Senate, campus presidents, or other are made uncomfortable by change."
named the General Manager of SUNY's trustees. Earlier, in January 1998, the Faculty In a similar letter to the campus presidents, Ryan
Construction Fund. Senate had sent the trustees a policy report on stated that the Faculty Senate appeared to be
In May 1997, Vincent Aceto, president of general education which had been endorsed by all "trading its historic and collegial role as a vital
the SUNY Faculty Senate, expressed his concern to campus presidents and faculty senates. The sen- participant in University governance for the
the trustees that "a subtle, but pervasive, political ate's request to discuss the report with the trustees adversarial role inherent in the union-manage-
litmus test is being used to appoint personnel at was ignored. The vote on the new curriculum ment contract-negotiation process," adding that if
SUNY System Administration." The appointment took place at a time when the faculty were busy the Faculty Senate came "to be viewed as a part of
of Peter Salins as SUNY's new provost was, how- grading papers. Details of the proposed curricu- the union-representing individual faculty mem-
ever, none too subtle. Salins is a senior fellow at lum had been faxed to the trustees less than a bers, and not as the scholarly and academic repre-
the Manhattan Institute, a well-funded right-wing week before. The few professors who turned up at sentative of the faculty as a whole," then the
think tank. the December 15 meeting were not allowed to administration would have to "review the role of
It had become increasingly apparent that comment until after the trustees had finished vot- the Senate in a much different light." On April 20,
the trustees were loyal not to SUNY but to the man ing. professors throughout SUNY wore black arm-
who appointed them. In a June 28, 1998 letter to The hastily passed curriculum, consisting bands in protest.
Chancellor Ryan, UUP President William of ten courses in different subject areas, might In his 1999-2000 budget, Pataki proposed
Scheuerman wrote that SUNY's trustees were the have benefited from faculty advice. A month after a $133 million cut in TAP, which would have
"leaders of the only public university system in the passage of the core curriculum, campus presi- resulted in a $510 reduction in the maximum
the nation in 1997-98 not to request a budget dents met with SUNY administrators to inform award to SUNY students-which now covers
increase." them. that there were not enough faculty to teach only 26% of tuition. He also proposed reducing
Recently, the state legislature passed a bill the mandated core curriculum, since faculty lines TAP eligibility at community colleges from six to
to guarantee that at least four of SUNY's sixteen depended on the number of student majors in a four semesters and requiring students to take at
trustees would be SUNY alumni. The assumption particular subject. Chancellor Ryan, however, least fifteen credits instead of twelve in order to
was that alumni would act in the best interests of declined to promise the presidents more maintain their TAP eligibility. In June 1999,
SUNY and temper the agenda of political resources. Pataki completed his stacking of the SUNY
appointees. Pataki, however, vetoed the legisla- The new curriculum made little pedaeoe- trustee board with the addition of Bernard
tion. ical sense. Most SUNY nners, an Albany busi-
With SUNY administrators often appoint- campuses already had nessman and former
ed without searches, affirmative action guidelines rigorous core curricula. FBI agent.
waived throughout the system, and plans under- Jane Altes, the interim After a record
way to place all SUNY research under the auspices president of Empire delay in passing a
of the SUNY Research Foundation (where public State College, observed budget, the New York
disclosure laws do not apply), the need for public that a single course in a legislature has just
dialogue and accountability at SUNY increases. foreign language or a rescinded Pataki's cuts
To this end, Mather has introduced a science, consisting of to higher education.
"Magna Carta" for SUNY, outlined in a six page three credit hours, "has Despite the reprieve,
supplement to the Legislative Gazette. (The original no academic meanin SUNY's
--I ,u ,.'n'r,
TlrkT :1/

Magna Carta, extracted by the barons of England Justyna Berger, a SUNY Albany senior wondered: remains unclear. vvat is clear is mthat.UIN Y-will
from King John in 1215, guaranteed civil liberties "How valuable is one course in foreign language spend $3 billion during the next five years for
for the English people.) Preservation of SUNY or math? In my experience, taking so few courses- campus construction projects, an agenda that
will soon convene a panel to inform the public as in such a wide variety of disciplines has no lasting Vincent Tirelli, a labor organizer at the City
to the actions and voting records of SUNY's intellectual impact." University of New York, describes as "a neutron
trustees. Pataki's appointees had usurped the role bomb in reverse," since it builds buildings but
SUNY's Magna Carta would insure that of the faculty in determining SUNY's curriculum. doesn't put people in them.
trustees owe their full loyalty to SUNY and act As the policies of the SUNY Board of Trustees That kind of planning may please con-
consistently in its interest. It states that SUNY state: "The University faculty shall be responsible struction firms; many of which contribute to
"belongs to all the people of the Empire State"; for the conduct of the University's instruction." Pataki's campaign, but will do little for the stu-
that the politicization of SUNY "is disserving of What followed was the most massive pro- dents for whom Rockefeller had vowed in 1969 to
public higher education requirements in the fessors' revolt in SUNY history. In April 1999, the preserve SUNY as "the open gateway to opportu
preservation of a democratic society"; that SUNY ,-Faculty Senate joined with the SUNY faculty nity in American life."
NOVEMBER 10, 1999 FAGE 9
ISSUES _ I Ir 1 3 1

By Chris Sorochin I didn't quite hear when Operation to support ASAT deployment. But it will happen. We are
Blabbermouth was supposed to come off, but the perfect now talking, planning, doing research and development.
"I don't see people these days; I just see signs." time would seem to be over New Year's of the Y2K In Someone will attack one of our systems." Though touted
-The Emperor Nero in Quo Vadis old Fun City (actually the new Disney Not-So-Fun City), as defensive, bet your last $100 billion (the amount blown
it looks as if 2000 will be rung in with greater weirdness on Star Wars thus far) that the lasers of the ASATs will be
It was a sunny fall Friday afternoon. Before than usual. For one thing, it's rumored that the Times just as handily able to be deployed offensively.
climbing onto the cattle-car that is the 2:16 train, I ven- Square ball is to be composed of many, many beads of- Yes, it's a strange- millennial world out there.
tured over to Station Pizza for some sustenance. Station get this-Waterford crystal! Yep, the subway system is Manufactured uncertainties are producing all kinds of
has some of the better pizza in a pizza-challenged area, junk on wheels and the schools are veritable penal tensions and searches for scapegoats. The xenophobic
for reasonable prices. The guys who work there are colonies, but by gosh, we're not going to let that stop us droolings of the fat guy in the pizza parlor are echoing
always friendly and they usually play decent music. from dropping a ball made of very expensive, shiny stuff throughout the Island. The most recent manifestation
On this particular visit, I noticed that the coun- from a building. has been in the form of attempts by bigoted busybodies
terman was suffering from an occupational hazard com- Even weirder and more disturbing are the New in various localities to prevent largely Central American
mon among those who perform stationary service jobs Year's Eve plans of our Supreme and Fearless Leader, day laborers from gathering to be picked up for jobs.
that feature periods of relative inactivity: he was serving Herr Uberfuhrer Rudolph Giuliani. He's ordering all his A recent meeting at the Brookhaven Town Hall
as a captive audience for an immensely fat local guy who top commandants to gather in his fortified bunker some- was punctuated by the disgusting spectacle of nativist
appeared to think he was lending crystalline brilliance to where in the World Trade Center on the big night, to know-nothings endeavoring to drown out a Latino man
the pizza guy's afternoon by engaging him in useless await, I guess, the Apocalypse. I wonder if they'll crank speaking on behalf of the laborers by reciting the Pledge
conversation. As I gobbled my slices, I noticed another Wagner on the sound system. of Allegiance! Other charming highlights included these
employee come in and make a comically tortured face I've said this before, but it bears repeating: this oh-so-respectable homeowners shouting "Legal or ille-
behind the obese one's back. Y2K thing is going to be the pretext for some dampdown gal?" "Go home!" and "You have no civil rights!"
Somewhere in the middle of my second slice, in on freedom and dignity. Something will either actually Margaret Bianculli-Dyber, of the Sachem
rushes a younger local type, late 20s, early 30s, the kind of happen or will be staged and the ensuing "crisis" will jus- Quality of Life Committee said "this is our country and
guy who works in some kind of carpentry/construction tify some more draconian legislation. not your country." This woman should do some research
job. He relates a barroom encounter ("on the ferry from If this sounds like something out of one of the into history and find out how people with names like
Foxwoods") with some self-described Secret Service proliferating paranoid political thrillers, consider what "Bianculli" were treated several generations ago when
employee, working on some purported "covert opera- happened after the Oklahoma City bombing. Clinton they came here seeking economic betterment. She might
tion." The details of this no-longer-top-secret escapade signed an Omnibus Crime Bill increasing the application just see something most unpleasant staring back from the
involved sealing off New York City--"no one can get in of the death penalty, limiting appeals and allowing mirror. These "citizens' committees" are just the northern
or out"-and some sort of terrorist attack, biological, I deportation of aliens on the basis of secret evidence. cousins of those formed by Southerners during the Civil
think. Or perhaps the goal will be of a militaristic Rights Movement to maintain their beloved tradition of
To which the Fat One non-sequitured, nature 'a la the Gulf of Tonkin. The Pentagon's US Space segregation. These folk sound just like those who gath-
"America's the Land of Opportunity, unless you're an Command has been working to place anti-satellite ered at the entrances to schools some 40 years ago to spit
American," and he launched into a rant about how for- weapons (ASATs) in space, in violation of all treaties for- on, and yell abuse at, black children seeking to be treated
eigners come here and dean up to the detriment of red- bidding the militarization of the Final Frontier. At the as human beings. Maybe Brookhaven could fly the
blooded specimens like him. It was like one of those 36th Space Congress at Cape Canaveral, Col. Tom Clark Confederate flag at its next meeting.
creepy Ed Asner bar scenes in JFK, except it lacked the admitted that Star Wars continues to be "politically sensi- Your faithful correspondent will continue to
arty cinematic lighting. tive," and they would "need an event to drive the public monitor and keeD you anoraised of all developments.


TlleSton s3rfSS

Fall F-ýl
999 Literar Su -leýi
By Cox N. Mussels
Can't you see me standing here?
I've got my back against the record

I think that I shall never see
A woman as lovely as lovely Aunt Bea
Arthur, breasts once sang,
Now they just hang.
Oh, Bea Arthur's breasts.

Oh, Bea Arthur's breasts.

By Cox N. Mussels

My love is with coupon only.

My love is not to be combined with any
other offer.
My love expires on the 26th of November.
My love is a gigantic gooey booger,
And I just want to smear it all over your
Not much space on that peritoneum.
So I guess I'll have to choke on the rest.
I love boogers.

Or on your septum. Yeah, on your septum.

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Can't resist the beat of the

Underground cantina groove
Oh smile again, Trisstessa
You junkie whore of the fiesta
Why should the terrible thoughts
Tear down the walls of this place
And the melodies of red sunken
I've learned one things in Mexico
_ __












let me see if i can isolate you a strychnine piece of anaconda lore,

taken from the fringes of my sugar-addled corpse to the recesses of that dark imagination
of yours
label it often and send it careening into your pen
and burst this wound onto the paper
strengthened and' starting gun mania he delves into Nike ads and articles he clipped out,
synthesizing the perfect monster
looking at the surgeon we say "what simple removal of the bone he displays"
creeping into corners of disinfectant stained corridors we look at the surgeon and observe
"look how well this jaw fits into that skull"
yet unborn and unforseen are the words "nothing fits into our classification scheme, I
want him to unleash the underaged rebel nature thats been l-cked uip inside of me"
he frisks your intentions and sits you on the mattress and fucks you five minutes
cough out money
you know ihat it used to be like to be young
come back again to the fountain of youth
its always been there

the next day you're lost in a department store and you touch that familiar voice again
"come to my house if you have nothing to believe iin"
and you go to this friend's house and you exit content and satisfied
later o±n you see him on the sidewalk
you fool yourslef thinking he might not be able to remember you .
unfortunately he wants to seduce you again
run away but be quiet
he has many friends who'd be willing to help him out
Xi• '••-.
..- Hyde
By Shari Goldsmith

Red Devil
Red Devil
I seee you
Peaking out
Scaring the child.

You exist to scare the child.

So they hide
Instead of seek.
And stay silent
Afraid to speak

So as not to be revealed
To the devil
And they're haunted and hunted
By a lingering fear
Whose identity is unknown.

What If
What If
Cattoman By Deborah Sticher I'm caught?
I've been revealed
Untitled By my reflection.
By Glen "Squirrel" Given

Am shakespearean allegory
No time for similie
No time for metaphor

Everyday is Halloween

Can neither rhyme nor reason

No time in season
No time in
:Got some
For the weekend
The weak end up
In solitary

Am shakespearean allegory
A sympathetic similie
So smile for me
For I
Am poor metaphor
Page A-5
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A 15'··'·'·


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She is reaching out

To the di stant and ab sent lve
... He blew a sweet false.
Searching for. a fix down on Drowsy Mistaken e,,echoes challengir
:walkers' muteness
ie lost the sub -urban f low,

n i gh
...........- i. For the mannequin-walls.
the subway -stati' Jazzma
z Exact change in a hand
And the street walker r==========.n
esting ou could understand...

Thick hot streets

I.e agian.

| sound W:
)ssed An<

s to him;
e quota...

xd stale

• . .;

1 111 · I · I I · I I
Talk Show Therapists: The Pros and Cons of Teletherapy
By F ;L. Livingston "Mother Love," preaching the "power of forgive- parents to deal with kids. He did not at all con-
ness" and urging angry guests to make a definite done the boy's violent reaction, but, in effect, he
The girl thought for a few moments. Then choice between saying "I forgive you," and "Forget urged parents and children everywhere to try to
she said something to the effect of, "I can't really it!" Now Dr. Brown has introduced actual on- find newy and better ways to solve their disagree-
commit myself right now." screen therapy sessions into the mix. ments. Recognizing the truth of his words, I felt
No, she was not a young woman opting Yikes! That's a little scary in itself. Not compelled to look at the realities of such situations
out of marriage or a serious relationship. She was only are you "airing dirty laundry" in public but and think about more effective solutions. I am cer-
a teenage girl trying to find a way to reconcile also having your psyche probed for all to see. No tain that many viewers felt the same way.
with the mother who had abandoned her long doubt there is some exploitation in this, too. Still, I have some concerns. There is often
ago. So thick was the hostility between this girl Yet, for many guests, it is the start of a a sense of unnecessary urgency on these shows.
and her mother that Dr. Joy Brown, their talk show whole new way of life. More specifically, a whole The host or therapist sometimes seems to feel
host, suggested that they back up and see if they new approacn to their proD- pressured to achieve a solu-
could find any point of agreement, no matter how lems. I cannot help but strong- tion by the end of the pro-
small. ly applaud these attempts to gram. And the guests often
This is a technique that Dr. Brown often aid other human beings. appear to feel a need to
uses. She encourages each member of an Then again, some seri- make that happen. In some
estranged duo to look inside themselves and dis- ous questions are running instances this has led to false
cover--and admit-the amount of time they are through my head: or misleading answers.
willing to spend with the other. Then she sees if Q 1. What do these talk On one show, for exam-
they can both agree on a time frame. Even if they show therapists have in com- ple, a husband and wife
only commit to talking on the phone for five min- mon with televangelists? agreed to a six month sepa-
utes once a month, for example, she explains, "It's A 1. They both use tele- ration. The purpose of this
a start," and that they can build from there. In this vision as a medium to further was to sort out their feelings
way, she helps them to begin the journey back to spread knowledge of their individually. More specifi-
each other. methods and ideas. No harm cally, it was to give them a
Dr. Brown is one of the most recent in an done there, I suppose. chance to decide whether or
increasing number of talk show hosts who deal Q 2. How are these not they each wanted to
with human relationships. I am speaking of such "teletherapists" different from continue in the marriage.
personalities as Oprah Winfrey, Ricki Lake, the televangelists? But just before the end
Montel Williams, Jenny Jones, Sally Jesse Raphael, A 2. Among other of the show, the wife blurted
Jerry Springer, Leeza Gibbons, "Mother Love," things, televangelists are mere- out something like, "Oh
Maury Povich,. and Queen Latifah. Such shows ly doing what evangelists have Jerry Springer's Final Thought... well, that's over!"
provide a more or less "safe place" for a guest to always done, except on a larger Surprised, the therapist
air a grievance ("Honey, I'm tired of your working scale. Teletherapists, on the other hand, are taking reminded her, "It's just a six month separation!"
late!"), confess a secret ("Baby, I've been cheating what traditionally is a private discussion and "But he'll go to someone else in a day," the
on you with your best friend!"), or present a holding it up for public consumption. Ouch! wife explained, "so if it's separation, then it's over."
request ("Mom, I hate the way you dress! Please Q 3. So is teletherapy necessarily bad? In that case, we were lucky enough to
have a makeover.") to someone- else. (Richard A 3. No, I don't think so. I think it can do find out that the woman did not share the thera-
Simmons' "Dreammaker" program is a variation.) a lot of good. And oftenr it does. Such a session fre- pist's view of the situation. Just as often, we don't
I am not entirely qualified to discuss the quently helps the guests to identify their problems discover that. Contrary to what I said about "step-
pros and cons of these programs, since I do not more specifically and to express them more clear- by-step improvement," there is a danger here that
have time to watch them all equally and on a reg- ly and directly. Guests are often told, "Don't tell it some people will come away from these shows.
ular basis. Nor do I have a degree in either psy- to me. Turn around and talk to your (mother,- with a message of "instant therapy"--and perhaps
chology or media. But I think I've seen enough to lover, friend, whoever)". expect it from more traditional office visits. They
make a few general points and expound on what It also encourages them to focus on "the are likely to be unduly disappointed if their own
I've noted as a lay viewer. other person's" emotions when necessary and to off-screen therapists can't solve problems this
I cannot deny that these these shows better comprehend that other person's needs, as quickly.
involve an "entertainment factor," which some of well as their own. On one episode of "Sally," for Yet, for those who perceive these telether-
them strongly emphasize. ("Oooo...I wonder what example, a mother was instructed to "really listen" apy sessions accurately-as mere beginnings of
his girlfriend will say when she finds out that he's to her daughter, to stop "reacting" (read: interrupt- what could be the road to a "happier place" in the
been sneaking around with her best friend's ex- ing) and concentrate on understanding her daugh- lives of the guests-these programs can be-invalu-
boyfriend's mother who's also engaged to her ter's pain. able in promoting greater sensitivity, self-expres-
dad!") It is not unusual for some of them to exploit And it guides them in finding a way to sion, and courage to seek help when needed.
their guests for the sake of pure "shock value." I resolve their difficulties. It tends to aid reluctant Even an "unsuccessful" case has its mer-
am especially averse to programs where the patients in'seeing the value of therapy, propelling its. The first scenario described above did not end
guests coerce their friends or relatives into reveal- them to continue it after the show. It also helps well. Yes, the girl agreed to write notes to her
ing painful secrets. m to understand that mother now and then and to communicate by tele-
("Either you tell or I improvement may be a phone. But she could not pin herself down to a
will!") Granted, all these slow, step-by-step specific frequency of phone calls or length of con-
people agree to come on process, but it is possible. versation time.
the show, but . . The audience learns "Once a week?" Joy Brown prompted.
Humiliation? from watching these ther- "Once a month?" And a few minutes later, "For fif-
Astonishment? Invasion apy sessions, too. In fact, teen minutes? Ten minutes? Five minutes?" All to
of privacy? All on often the audience itself is no avail.
national television? I confronted and forced to The mother was visibly discouraged and
doubt that any positive face its own debacles. almost ready to "give up."
intention can outweigh While some shows toler- So was the case a failure? I think not. It
the negative effects here. ate, and even promote, a forced the girl and her mother to see exactly how
But an increasing number of these pro- "gladiator mentality" in their audiences (Jerry far apart they had grown and how much work
grams are moving towards real efforts to help Springer comes to mind), more and more hosts are needed to be done if they still wanted to mend
their guests find psychological peace. This latest asking their audiences to be more sensitive, more their relationship. It gave evidence to us all that
trend began simply enough. Montel started to intelligent-and more realistic. On a recent not every such story comes to a "happy ending"
offer free after-show therapy to those in need. "Montel," for instance, the audience clapped and and that we may have to accept that and move on.
Soon several of these programs began to employ cheered wildly when a mother boasted of slap- Sometimes we learn as much from what
licensed therapists as regulars on their sets to help ping her unruly son "upside the head." But Montel can't be done as from what can. Even at their
calm irate guests and dispense "quickie" advice. was quick to bring out the fact that his slap led to "worst," I believe that these shows have a lot to
Some of the shows took a tougher stance, for bet- a brutal attack by the boy on the mother. He also' offer.
ter or worse, arranging, say, "boot camp" experi- pointed out that most modern courts do not view But enough said. Now hand me that
ences for difficult teenagers. And along came corporal punishment as an acceptable way for remote.
NOVEMBER 10, 1999 PAGE 11
COMICS I ,I · I · · , · I I · I · II I · . ~ I LI a· - , I··II · · I

Manicdotes by the artist formally known as Deborah Sticher

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NOVEMB lR0,1999 PAGE 13

. :....eS..*n. s
By Michael Kimmel On two songs, he's joined by other together seamlessly and the result tran-
famous stars, but to little effect. Stevie scends the dichotomy Sting typically
Sting has moved into middle age as Wonder provides a smooth harmonica solo presents: between rocker, and crooner,
a cross between a rock star and a parody of on the album's title track, but the song kid and grownups. On "Tomorrow We'll
one. He's alternately ambitious and itself sounds a lot like a cheap imitation of See," he returns to his earlier incarnation
grandiose, a risk taker who doesn't know a Stevie Wonder song. And James Taylor with the Police, looking at Roxanne's life
his own limitations (does anyone remember chimes in with some solos on the C&W- not from the point of view of her con-
his "acting" career?). Here's a guy who is a inflected "Fill Her Up," a ditty about a fused lover, but from her point of view
true rock visionary, whose voice envelopes young gas station attendant's fantasies of as a besieged hooker. Here we see the far
the listener like a warm hug, honey-coated, movin' on up. The song's fine for less idealized life from the point of view
aching for meaning in a world where you the first few minutes, but then of a transvestite prostitute who "walks
- --
-_ _1-I
-- _ 1 . . . ' _ "t

always have to strain for it. His songs suaaen money

range widely over various musical styles, quaint redeces-
gravitating towards lyrical syncopation, his of C& ute way
lyrics evoking timeless poetic tropes. replace( always
On the other hand, here's a guy who an orcl ting his
is also a self-absorbed New Age crooner t r a 5.
who uses lush orchestration to mask vocal swoosl far Sting
and lyrical failings. Surrounded by ambi- offering om those
ent synthesizer drone, you could just as q uasi \e Police.
easily be having a massage by someone religiou n as now,
named Amethyst Starfeather. What other pallia Mis music
rock musician uses a harp? tives abc lush lay-
On "Brand New Day," his first how .stral and
release in six years, you'll find plenty of have to sounds,
both sides of Sting. There are plenty of filled by p beat of
New Age pieties, pop-psychological bro- tual, not Le synco-
mides and overly lush orchestral flourish- al, good the snap-
es. But Sting also returns to some earlier, just ca: world's
more successful musical haunts, and visits well enoi .e service
some new ones as well. k synthe-
A few of these little forays into of song ite reggae
other musical genres fall flat on their out, anm e musical
colonialist faces. "Perfect Love" grafts as sal ind New
in a French rap by Cheb Mami that's anythir verything
pretty inane, and "Desert Rose" threads ever do rs, and
an Algerian syntho-disco sound Rain Hi for us
through it that is supposed to give it an lush e most
international flavor, but would actually monic ft wrap-
make this otherwise interesting song at where ; you've
home in any second-rate world disco. parts ver heard.

r-oGet Some F* king Culture

The Undergraduate Fine Arts Organization
wants to raise your low brow ass up
I -check out their website
]h :tto://e me lu/artclub

etings.. --


in the Stalier Center, Rm. 4222.



Lee N i chols
Writes A Top Ten!
[Editor's Note: A man by the name-of Lee his flock to atheism.
Nichols recently wrote two letters to the Stony Brook
Press:one expressing his disapprovalfor pictures in Jack 5. Shirley Strum Kenny wouldn't have to demon-
& Hil, and one criticizingan article by Chris Sorochin strate that she is an invertebrate.
entitled "Catholic Yuppie Lawyers From Hell" (our
October 7 issue). We printed both of these letters in our 6. Russell Heller would spend his time vilifying the
October 27 issue. This is Lee Nichol's latest response.] etiquette and couture of the homeless.

Dear Editor, 7. Russell Heller would also spend his time propos-
ing legislation to eradicate from the English lan-
Thank you for publishing my letters, guage any word with more than four letters.
even though you knew they were not meant for
public consumption. Besides being morally chal- 8. Glenn Given would fritter away the hours find-
lenged and bereft of a decent education, The Stony ing new ways to demonstrate his inherent disre-
Brook Press' staff isn't terribly bright. spect for anyone who is older, wiser, and less noi-
I would like to submit ten reasons why some then he.
The Stony Brook Press should never be defunded.
Perhaps you could publish them also. I don't 9. Glenn Given would have to admit that he kisses
doubt many people within your community up to Russell Heller.
would find them to be very apropos. They are as
follows: 10. Hilary Vidair would have no outlet to spin rea-
son #9 into an obscene comment.
1. Hilary Vidair would probably be refused admit-
tance to every other school in the United States, The Suffolk County District Attorney is
except Suffolk Community College. How would looking into my complaint that both the University
her overactive libido survive? and the hospital exposed my two minor children,
who happen to do volunteer work there, to
2. She'd end up schlepping coffee for Larry Flynt. obscene material. This is the "age of the children."
You mustn't violate their rights in any way, don't
3. Hilary Vidair's staff would be forced to open a you know.
chapter of Illiterates Anonymous. Like I said, not terribly bright.

4. Chris Sorochin would undoubtedly enter the Cordially,

priesthood, become a bishop, and convert most of Lee Nichols

S8O Flicks
ks Or::s^ Crossword 101
BY Ed Canty

9 Apartmrnent
13 Heartthrob
14 Koscvo chanmpon
ts every
20 8dwy sign
21 Lyrt.poems
22 VocaWons
23 Pierre's pals
24 Entreats
25 ScrewdrIver specialist
28 Candy walker?
29 Stitch
32 WalkIng
33 Became alert
34 Withered
3. Paul Hogan
38 Preflb for phone or
40- Ki~org. ta 37 Beyond::bete
41 Mrat 6 d. org. 6 Cheerleader utterances 42 Golda Alsr.ael Pot.
42 Fraction of an Instant: 7 Lunched 43 Yank
abr 8 Weakened 44 Smash
43 Sheaock's finds 9 Greek cheese:PI 45 Ruins
44 Ms. Truman 10 Praise 46 "The Most Wanted"
45 Coal, e. 11 and measure 47 Queen of Sparta
46 Governor Whitman 12 Definte articles 48 Kiln
predecessor 17 Salad ingredlent 49 Scorch
49 Peps., g. 18 Norse god 50 Teenage woe
-50 tC89fedo- 190 Prod St Finished
53-EeMuphy Ric23 Petroleum refiner 52 Rushed
5- Caloonsts l btb 24 Uses a 48 Down 54 Affirmative vote
57 Schnitzel Ingredlent 25 Composer Johann's 55 Posed
58 Ms. Boleyn 26 Hair styles
59 Stumped 27 Living quarters
60 Corn b unit 28 Newbornm's ptight
81 Drove
1 BB. meats
29 Family car
31 Cries
Answers In
2 Hebrew month 33 Cables
3 Destgner Chanef 34 Creeper
4 Big deer 36 Melt eX ISSUe.
By GFR Assocates .E-Mail : EC9432@ao$•com
Math GFR, P.O. Box 461, Schenectady, NY 12301

· - - -- - - · - I - - - ---- - - - I - - - -------
NovEMBER 10,1999 PAGE 15

child Under Imy Bed

swaying back and forth. Wondering what then the door slowly opened again.
ly Glenn Given
these were-and just a little scared-Timmy Standing in the light, the little boy from
Once upon a
held his breath to focus his hearing. From under the bed lifted the plate and glass
me, there was a
the dark corner where the pinpricks floated, from the floor. Looking over to the near
:tle boy named
slow, shallow breathing was emanating. catatonic Timmy, he smiled. With that final
mmy who lived
The hallway light came on, and the gesture the little boy threw the plate and
a beautiful
darkness peeled back from the corner. glass as hard as he could down the hall to
idor home in the
Standing there for the briefest of seconds Mom and Dad's door.
tburbs of The
was a little boy who looked a lot like CRASH! CRASH!
.ty. Timmy was
Timmy. He shirked from the light, and as He turned back to Timmy and
ved by his par-
quick as a viper he had shuffled robotically pushed him aside, deftly sliding under the
its, Mom and
up to Timmy's bed. Then the hall light race car. Timmy ran to the edge of the bed
ad, very much-
clicked off and the room was plunged into and peered underneath. There sat the little
ore than normal,
the void of night again. Timmy saw those boy with the glowing eyes. Timmy began
me might say
glowing eyes hovering above his bed and to cry as Dad's roars filled the hallway. All
ecause he was
immediately pulled the covers over his. the little boy did was put his finger to his
i only child.
head. Squeezing his eyes shut and holding lips and smile.
)dav was
his breath, he fell back to sleep. But before Suddenly Timmy was grabbed from
Timmy's 8 t h birthday party, and all of his. he did, he felt a slight bump of the bed,
behind and lifted from the floor. The next
friends had been invited to his house to cel- almost as if it had been slightly lifted and hour or so was a painful blur. Timmy was
ebrate. Johnny was there, along with Sara, dropped again.
beat worse than the Yankees beat the Red
Missy and little Jerry. The next morning when he got to Sox, worse than the NYPD beat Diallo,
"Wow, Timmy! Your parents sure the breakfast table, Mom and Dad were worse than the Republicans beat the poor.
got you a lot of gifts," remarked Johnny. staring at him very strangely. Timmy cried himself to sleep that night.
"That's 'cause they love me more "Well son, what do we have to say That night was repeated over and
than anything else in the world, and these for ourselves?" Dad asked sternly. over again for the next month. Timmy
material goods are proof of that," retorted Timmy was confused. All he could grew pale and gaunt from lack of food and
Timmy. think of was that maybe he'd forgotten to beatings. Dad began to drink and Mom
"I wish my parents loved me that
say all his "thank you's" yesterday. began to cry uncontrollably and the little
much," intoned Sara sadly. (You see, she "Uh.. .thank you for the wonderful boy under the race car bed continued to
lived on the other side of the tracks, and present?" Tim replied. destroy their home. Timmy cried himself
made Timmy's parents a little nervous Dad stood bolt upright in his chair to sleep every night-well, every night
because she always had this hungry look to and hauled back his hand to give Timmy
his that he didn't pass out from the savageness
her.) "what have you's" but Mom held him back. of Dad's, and more frequently Mom's beat-
"No one could love anyone as much Looking at Timmy-who was now cowering
ings. And every night the boy under the
as Mom and Dad love me," said Timmy. in his chair-Mom calmly took away Tim's bed laughed more.
So they all sat *in Timmy's living breakfast and said, "Until you own up
room, celebrating the 8 t h birthday of the what you've done, you're confined to your One Year Later-----
most loved kid in the world. Timmy got room and will have no breakfast."
trucks and video games, cake and Scrabble, Timmy was in shock, but he knew All was well in Mom and Dad's
among other things. Finally it started get- better than to get on Mom's bad side, so he house, nothing was broken and the house
ting late, and all of Timmy's friends got simply excused himself and walked back didn't reek of cheap bourbon anymore.
picked up by their parents. Waving good- to his room. On the way he caught a peek Mom and Dad were in love again, and
bye to the pickup truck that Sara rode away into the living room to see that all of they expressed that fact often, in many
in, Timmy's parents turned to him and said, Mom's Precious Moments figurines were new and creative ways.
"We have a very special gift for you now." shattered and lumped in a pile in the cor- The race car bed sat in the garage
Timmy was jubilant, to say the least, ner.
gathering dust, as it had for almost all of
because receiving gifts was his favorite pas- Timmy spent the rest of the day in the past year. Nothing came from under-
time. If this was a "very special gift," more his room, staring at the wall. He was very neath anymore, and if you listened close-
special than anything else he had received sad, for he didn't know what he had done ly there was no noise coming from it at
today... Well, this was gonna be something. that had made Mom and Dad so mad. all. It wasn't used anymore. No one had
"Come up to your room, and we'll Outside he could hear them arguing- slept on it since Timmy had passed on,
show you," said Mom and Dad. about him, and what would be done if this and nothing resided beneath it since that
And little Timmy was jubilant to sort of behavior continued. Every time Dad very same day. "Why did Mom and Dad
find his very own brand new race car bed shouted, or when Mom mentioned the keep it?" you might ask. Well, they kept
waiting for him. He hopped up and down word "orphanage" (Tim didn't know what it as a reminder Qf the horrible child
on the bed, giggling with delight and when that meant), a little giggle would come they'd had. The child that was a lot like
finally exhausted, turned to his parents and from under his brand new race car bed. As you and me. The child that was wonder-
said, "I love you." the day wound down and night fell, ful only in its absence. Mom and Dad
They smiled and left their son to his Timmy, overcome with hunger, closed his kept the bed to remind them to always
new bed. Since it was getting late- anyway, eyes and went to sleep. vote pro-choice.
Timmy decided he might as well go to sleep A slight scraping noise woke Tim So Mom and Dad lived happily
and enjoy the newfound comfort of a race from his slumber. He cast his gaze on
the ever after, because they never had anoth-
car shaped bed. Darkness crept through lit- door and saw that a small
plate of food and er child again. They also blocked out any
tle Timmy's brain as he fell into blissful a glass of water had
been left there. He memories of little Timmy, because he
slumber. Timmy awoke early in the morn- dragged himself from the bed and
walked was easy to forget-because they did not
ing to a faint crashing noise. Groggily he over to the food. As
he sat down in front of love him, and in fact, never had loved
turned his head toward his bedroom door it, those two glowing
eyes greeted him him.
to try and spy where the noise had come from behind the door. Tim scooted
back Timmy burned in Hell for what he
from. hurriedly as the door swung closed. The had done.
Something shuffled in the far corner room was dark again, and all Tim could
see So remember, little ones:
of his room, and Timmy turned his atten- were those two bobbing lights accompa-
Anything that is wrong in your house is
tion on it. Peering closely, he saw, ever so nied by the sounds of his dinner being your fault, and if you try to blame it on
faintly, two tiny pinpricks of light. As he slovenly consumed. the child under the bed, you will only
stared the pinpricks Stared back, slightly There was a moment of quiet, and make Dad hit you more.
------ Yl~~nlrrs-~;r~,-~a~nrari*tc~R~re~~rah~i~
s~ ·~-p.-~ C_ s · -~--~~-C d-- ~lbllll

Fr o m R u s se w th e
e.ýar e ý, is r ck " rJ .

By Russell Heller mpnot- anurmrcrp? Cqr.AhotAi hnyq

ocA -- mirl-h
r, c•fa- ( r'l,, r Tr,,-
T,,t,-, n .Am* i.r;:r nTr'n Vn, inn't

pple pie,
Yo yo yo, my campus peoples. I pie have
noticed the abysmal quality of Cracker Jacl if it ain't
ly? Of course you have! Well, here I presen roke, but
efforts to rectify the situation. I am sendin nuch the
to Sailor Jack, spokesmariner for the Cra the way
company. If he proves to be the champion fice. The
we all came to know him as during V e simply
should jump right on top of this grenade a
swift windjammer justice to those corpora lerstand
who have degraded the product bearing business
ness. metimes
Let me tell you, friends, the fury iust be
seamen is not a threat to be taken lightly. S in order
has taken on far greater opponents (reme stay
destruction wrought during the climact head of
between him and Dr. Doom?) with fewer t h e
(he knows 200 ways to kill a man with h ompeti-
than he has now. Sailor Jack is a powerhot Fiddle-
dynamo of well-intentioned energy at our and
With Sailor Jack and his trusty sidekick, 1 Munch
the job, we'll have a higher peaniut to pop< i pack of
AND better prizes before you can say, "Tal rho snap
to the ball game!" struggle
You know, if there's one thing I h hill. But
lousy Cracker Jacking experience, and I'v us in the
too many recently. So in characteristic i f the can-
have, at the very least, really confused the I s by con-
John Q. Letter-Reader in the Frito-Lay r by com-
You have to start somewhere. So kudos 1 id Bingo
subverting corporate evil, from the botton
Dear Mr. Jack, :ret prize
Hello. My name is Russell Heller. r Jack in
am a student /journalist y carried
Stony Brook University. I a n as pos-
writing you in response to •i*.You can't even of your
the gradual, steady 'loophole this one, as ne in an
decline in the overall qua] S your product has NO , Cracker
of your product. CRACKERS IN IT! Popcorn, kers will
First of all. vou and until recently peanuts, yes. on.
But not a single cracker has been
uncovered within the realm of my ,·
snacking experience. Your shameless f
Cracker posturing should not be tolerated by \ .. / .-

whatever authority it is that you answer to.

nut My most severe grievance, however, is the \.e
be fact that Any quality that your prizes once had Russell Heller
>m- seems to have been abandoned in exchange for less
orn expensive alternatives, devoid of any prize-like
for characteristics. A little research on my part has led
of me to the discovery that before my time, Cracker
uts Jack prizes were a toy to be envious of.
the Prizes made of tin, or plastic, with mov-
I if ing parts--or even requiring some "Snook-style fe:
Ito- assembly-were not uncommon bo diddly slide-c
gethei before the company lost its edge. boss action word
of Nowadays, what passes for a Yo, that's a
Cracker Jack prize is a blowboat (a haiku, yo!
woul( folded piece of paper that can be blown
along a table), or a goddamn sticker designed to
bottoi be placed on the other side of--get this-the STICK-
the h ER BACKING! What fun. What happened to morse
box? code signal mirrors, metallic bird whistles, lenticu-
pus: lars (those little plastic moving pictures that you
BAGQ were supposed to stick on your shoelaces), or pic-
JACK tures of and facts about our beloved ex-President,
What Rutherford Birchard Hayes?
sell-oi I have yet to pinpoint the date at which
Is tha prizes ceased to be prizes, but I have a sneaking sus-
ter fi picion that it was somewhere around the time Frito-
Jacks Lay bought out the company. Likewise, I place the
with. introduction of bagged Cracker Jacks at about the
_ __ __
IF --·II _
same time.
I I --- -----
~ LLY;el --
Rutherford B. Hayes
-- ~-----·------·-~-~------
NOVEMBER 10, 1999 PAGE 17
SEX I I I · -1 I I _ I · I P~ L' I· IL I · 3 L I ·~ L

Dear Jack & Hil,

I should first mention that the article that you guys(or gals) compose is very interesting to read. Thanks for taking the time to put it together! Now, on
to my questions.
My girlfriend and I both enjoy our sexual encounters with one another tremendously. The problem is that she some-
times complains to me of feeling a "poking" type of pain when I penetrate her. She is very non-specific about the origin
of the pain, and I find my efforts to talk about it halted by an obvious attempt to shield me from something. In lieu of a
visit to the gynecologist when she gets back from school, I was wondering if the two of you could offer me any facts on this phenomenon, which I have found
to be not uncommon among my sexually active female friends.
The other question that I had has to do with enemas. I have some knowledge of human anatomy, yet am somewhat
cautious about approaching the act of a rectal enema using my lover's urine. Thus I was wondering if the two of you could
possibly offer knowledge(first-hand or otherwise!) on any side-effects that might develop from
insertion of the somewhat basic human urine into the large intestine environment? -
Well ... that's about it for now. Keep up the good work and I'm sure some more student questions will pop up for yo, '
guys! Thanks again for your efforts on tire articles! / /

Pooki. .


Communication within relationships is difficult; talking about sex can be near impossible. can control how far your penis goes into her vagina. This will also expose her di-

/I The fi stthing you need to do is to get your girl to a gynecologist Annual exams
should become part of her life, and can save her life. I know many women who feel anxiety ^ toris, so that it can be stimulated by you, her, or both.
More seriously, though, you say that your girlfriend was attempting to
about going to the gyno, but big girls do what's good for them. The problem could be noth-
ing; and if it isn't, she is better off knowing now.
The second thing you should do is to open a sexual dialogue with your partner.Do
"shield" you from something. As I repeat in almost every column I write, com-
munication is key A relationship healthy unless there is trust and hon-
esty. I wonder if you also have problems discussing nonsexual problems withher.
you feel that she is withholding something because you are? Sexual honesty is the hardest If this is the case, then you might want to address this outside of the bedroom.
kind, but the problem could also be with you, Casanova, or--closer to the fact-with your I was pondering how to answer your second question as soon as I read
peter. I can envision a pencil-dick causing a "poking sensation" during intercourse. Does yo' the email. Then I received a message from my good old friend Monkey, a gradu-
dick have a strange curve that could "poke"at the wall of the vagina? If so, changing positions \^- ate of Biology here at Stony Brook He had read the email and provided me with
I,'I might help. Idon't knowwhat to suggest if your problem is the former,but Ican recommend this information. I will quote him directly.
against surgical augmentation. If it ain't broke, don't spend $15,000 to have someone cut your ^ 1 "First of all, urine is not necessarily basic, as Pooki wrote. Its normal pH
\ ^
dick open to fix it There is literature out there about ways to increase the girth of the male can range from 4.6 (acidic) to 8.0 (basic). But why use an enema in the first place?
organ. I suggest you find it. Excessive use of enemas can..;
In addition, our good friend Monkey has added this: "I think he may be hitting her ^ Upset electrolyte balance,
cervix, at the posterior end of the uterus. But if I remember conrrectly, the cervix is sensitive to ^ Cause dehydration,
pressure, but does not usually create pain in response to stimuli. You may want to ask Pooki Remove the colon's protective mucus coat, and
if it's a feeling of pressure or real discomfort." ^ Stretch the colon, causing possibly irreversible damage.
As to your other question, if you knew your ass from your elbow in the field of t As for urine enemas, rd say use fresh pee. Urine that has been standing
anatomy, you would know that nothing happens when you mix basic (as opposed to acid) outside for a while harbors bacteria. This can degrade urea to ammonia, which is
urine with the environment of the large intestine, also basic. No two bodily fluids explode more toxic. Also, I suggest that urine enemas be done only as a special treat, to
from contact with one another. r avoid unpleasant side effects.
Now a more interesting question is how to get your lover's urine into your large Monkeys don't like enemas, by the way"
intestine. I will assume from the first part of your question that you are male and that your It really baffled me when I read your question. Why would you want to
lover is female. The artist in me envisions some sort of funnel device, with you doing a head- use urine to perform an enema when there are so many other wonderful uses? Try
stand, but the pragmatist in me is forced to settle for peeing into a sandwich bag and taping it taking a shower with your partner and urinate on each other's bodies. This can be
to an empty Bic pen. a physical way to express emotion.


~ I II I
T -.

-i I- i
Dear Jack and/or Hil,
I have been a reader of your column for a while now, but this is the first t
question for you is this: Where are all the sexually adventurous women?
I have been in several relationships, but I have never felt that my partnE
or be interested in, the kind of sex I would. In one of your prior columns I belie
role reversal by a woman with a strap-on dildo. I'm game, ladies! But how do yoi
without being labeled a pervert and dismissed? God only knows where you could
ing or the like.
Basically, what I am saying is that this is college, and isn't it supposed to
experimentation? Haven't we all heard the cliche, "Well yeah, I fooled around lik
college." I just haven't felt that the ladies on this campus are being true to that sp

Most importantly, you should know the woman before requesting any
type of unusually kinky sexual activity. You said you worry that she would
think you were a pervert. Well, if some strange guy came up to me and asked
meto fuck him in the ass, I would be taken aback.
If you plan on engaging in really adventurous sexual relations, you
should be 100% comfortable with the person. Having erotic monkey sex with
a woman you just met that day is highly unlikely. If you really want to exper-
iment, you might want to try these things with a regular partner.
This brings us backto communication. How will you ever experiment
sexually if you can't even bear talking about doing it? Yet take your time get-
ting to know a girl before you approach her with such a question. (Or, you can
locate the club having the scavenger hunt. Now those are ladies.)

You ain't hanging with the right ladies, son! There are women out tight-assed sorority hos ain't gonna do it for ya. There are girls who want you
there that are sexually adventurous. In fact, there seems to be a large concen- to stick your fist up in 'em. If the girls you've been with haven't been willing
tration of them in the Press office... But seriously, the only way you'll get what to play dirty, think about the kind of girls you usually go after. Then find the
you want from your partner is by telling her. If she labels you a pervert and exact opposite. If all else fails, come down to room 060 in the Union... We've
dismisses you, you gotsta check the poonani you're going after, kid! Those got women so kinky down here, you'll be cummin' out of your ears!
I I - - - I I ` I I '

can do to make the experience more pleasing than displeasing. The first such
Dear Jack & Hil, task can be accomplished by either the woman alone or her partner. This is
Please tell me all there is to know about the hymen and the first time. for the "true" virgin, one who has never experienced any serious action
-Anonymous below the belt. Start with one finger, using some lubricant if needed. Slowly
stick the finger into the vagina, one knuckle at a time. Continue to add fin-

JACK&HIL RESPOND gers until there is no longer any room. The tighter you are, the fewer fingers
you will be able to use. The most important thing is to relax. Let go of your
vaginal muscles, and lower your shoulders. Once you've done this, gently
The hymen is defined in Webster's dictionary as "a fold of mucous move the fingers back and forth in the vagina. If you do this every day, it
membrane partly closing the orifice of the vagina-also maidenhead." will help loosen you up.
Over the years, there have been many inquiries about the hymen and Then, when you are ready to have sex, have your partner do the
its purpose in virginity. Way back when, a new bride's sheets would be same thing with his penis that either you or he did with his fingers. Start
inspected to see if she had bled or not. If she hadn't, she was branded a whore slowly, making sure you are nice and lubricated before he even tries (MEN
(for having had premarital sex). READ: just 'cuz you're having sex doesn't mean you should ditch the
Your inquiry is quite broad, and we are not sure foreplay). Stick the head of the penis in first, again relaxing
whether you are a virgin seeking information, a guy trying to Syour vaginal muscles. Take deep breaths and keep your legs
figure out his lover's past, or a flaming pervert with an intense . spread wide.
desire to fuck little girls. Whatever the case, we hope our advice is If it starts to hurt, don't tighten your vaginal muscles,
helpful. instead tell your partner to give fewer inches and slow down.
First of all, the common belief that the hymen is Just as we should all ask for what we want, we should feel free
always broken during initial coitus is a myth. It can be bro- ... to express what we don't want, especially if it is painful.
ken during many other activities, such as dancing, bicycle or I We hope that you have found this information useful. Just
hnrcohqlp riden rnr finoerino - nme wonmn are pvn bornm li

without one.
In addition, the hymen does not always get broken, even
when intercourse has occurred. It may merely stretch sufficiently
to make room for the penis.
One other possibility is a partial tearing of the hymen, in
which the hyinen does not fully break; rather it severs from one side
and not the other, or it rips a hole somewhere in the middle. Who
That sounds painful! Actually, though, most girls report that they a
not feel extreme pain their first time.
Another myth is that there will be a lot of blood. In actualitý
tle or no bleeding occurs, and it trickles rather than gushes. The mos
mon case is finding some blood on the underwear or sheets later thai
If it is your or your girlfriend's first time, there are several thi

NOVEMBER 10, 1999 PAGE 19

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