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The following issue is misdated.

It should have appeared as Vol. 24, No. 16,


Aug. 25, 2003.
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Ministryv of Love
By Chris Sorochin -J
After my degrading .expulsion from last twenty years: individuals was supposed to be a demonstration
Canada during the April, 2001 Free Trade Area Republic of Ireland: nine times of the Canadian government's ability to "handle
of the Americas Summit in Quebec City, I wrote Mexico: once things," it certainly seems to be a failure, since it
an outraged letter to the appropriate Canadian United Kingdom: twice didn't stop any of the trouble and has only resulted
ministry. I got back some ridiculous doubletalk Italy: eight times in further bad publicity for a country that prides
outlining their supposed reasons for detention and Germany: seven times itself on its progressivism.
expulsion of visitors and stating that I'd been so Switzerland: four times Fortunately for you, the Swedish
unceremoniously thrown out because Id "lied" Japan: three times authorities stole the spotlight when they fired
about my "criminal record." Piqued by such high- Bahamas: once on protestors during Bush's visit in June, and
handed prevarication, I composed a reply: f Ms. Dominican Republic: three times the Italians have trumped everybody by actually
Iris Winston Ecuador: once killing someone at the G-8 summit in Genoa.
Citizenship and Immigration Canada Ottawa, Poland: four times So, I ask again; and please feel free to
Ontario K1A 1L1 Canada Austria: once pass this query on to whomever in the Canadian
Dear Ms. Winston: Perhaps you can explain to me why government might be able to answer it: what
Thank you for replying to my previous I was able to enter all these countries without purpose was served by subjecting a 41-year-old
letter, but your letter failed to address the concerns difficulty and -why I was able to enter Canada journalist for several obscure media outlets to
I raised. In fact, it seems to be a sort of form letter eight times previous to April 20, 2001, but on harassment and expulsion? Exactly who or what
sent to anyone who makes a complaint about your that particular date, my politics, reading material in Canada would have been threatened by my
miiistry, with sentences regarding my particular and arrest record are suddenly of interest. presence?
circumstances tacked on to the beginning and end. Nowhere does your letter of July 5 mention the Your letter states, "Our records indicate
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entering Canada. As I mentioned in mry las sclose to port of entry officials that you had a
I had entered Canada eight times prior to A lal record in the United States."
of this year. Here is a list of particulars: As I thought I had made clear in my
March, 1987, by rail, via St. Al ous communication, your records are
Vermont ntially fraudulent, being the product of an
August, 1987, by rail, via Rouss :ensive "fishing expedition" for a pretext to
Point, New York eny me entry to Canada on questionable
August, 1988, on foot, Niagara political grounds. I'm sure you're intelligent
Falls(twice in one day) enough to know this, even though it would
October, 1989, Dorval Airport, most certainly be a very bad career move to
Montreal admit it publicly.
May, 1990, by car, via Vermont In short, I believe your agents at
May, 1991, Dorval Airport the Ottawa International Airport acted
May, 1995, Dorval Airport inappropriately and, if not exactly illegally,
On none of these occasions did then at least in a manner unbefitting
any customs official express the slightest the government officials of a democratic
interest in my health, or whether I had country. I further believe that said agents
enough money for my visit or any plans were acting on the orders and wihththe full
I might have to remain in Canada illegall) mncouragement of their superiors. There was
Nor, as I stated before, did anyone inquire thick loose-leaf binder on the desk of the
to any criminal record. They didn't even stz nigration office labeled "Free Trade Summit
my passport. e Americas," so I assume that everything I
On April 20, again, there was no cor rwent was mandated by higher-ups. Even
to my health, wealth, or plans to become ar Leclair said to me, as he was handing me
resident. Nor did the question of my "c redentials as a full-fledged member of the
record" surface until long into the proceedings. America's summit in inadmissable class(es), "I hate like hell to do this,"
Apparently, Mr. Mallette was supposed to have Quebec City or the fact that I was only scrutinized although I could never tell with him whether he
asked me about that in his initial interview, which when I "disclosed to port of entry officials" that my was being sincere or merely patronizing.
he didn't. During Mr. Leclair's questioning, after a destination was Quebec City. This had nothing to One last point. You write that "being
pointless and absurd discussion about the media, do with my health, plans to remain in Canada, or made the subject of enforcement action under
he finally got around to asking if I'd ever been my financial resources. It was purely political. We the Immigration Act is distressing for visitors." I
arrested at a protest. When I told him no, he moved both know that had I stated my final destination would not say my experience was distressing so
on to asking if I'd ever been "removed from site" at as somewhere else, there would have likely been much as insulting. I found it extremely insulting
a protest. Still, the answer was no. It was then and no luggage search, interrogation or probe into the to be treated like some kind of criminal and called
only then that they ran my social security number wild years of my misspent youth. a liar, all because my politics (or what your agents
through some data base. Now, I can understand how the imagined my politics. to be) were considered a
And by the way, I'd still like very much to Canadian government might reasonably desire threat by the powers-that-be. I still find it insulting
know how they managed to get information that is to exclude violent individuals from attending a to be told that I am indeed a criminal and was
supposed to be sealed. Do they use a service called potentially volatile event like the FTAA summit. practicing some type of subterfuge because I
details of an incident from
Data Base Technologies? Yet a thorough search of my bag turned up no neglected to share
As I explained before, I do not have a Molotov cocktails or hand grenades: hell, I hadn't twenty years ago that I'd basically forgotten
criminal record in the United States, or anywhere even packed one of those bandanas everyone is about.a The many improprieties surrounding the
else, and I am currently looking into the matter supposed to soak in vinegar.to counteract the tear Quebec summit, among which what happened to
of my records, which are supposed to be sealed, gas and pepper spray. And as far as organizations, me is just a minuscule footnote, are also an insult
and how your agents were able to access them. the most damning one that a fine-toothed perusal to whatever noble ideas Canadians are told their
Also, what they pulled up was merely a date of of my address book produced was the obsessively government upholds. This sort of hypocrisy and
arrest. Here in the US, there's a legal doctrine, non-violent War Resisters League. high-handedness is not confined to Canada, of
much honored in the breach, that one is "innocent I wonder just what, aside from some petty course (I would say my own country is current
until proven guilty." I would be quite surprised bureaucratic harassment, was accomplished by not champion), and people around the world are
if some similar concept did not exist in Canadian allowing me to enter Canada. waking up to the fact that our governments aren't
law. Anyhow, an arrest is not a conviction. No From the many accounts I've read, really "ours."
conviction, no criminal record! the Quebec summit featured the same police
I enclose copies of both my current violence, destruction and mayhem as previous Sincerely,
passport, which your agents at Ottawa meetings of this sort. Protestors turned out in the Chris Sorochin
International Airport examined, and my previous thousands and had the support of local residents. WUSB 90.1 FM
one, valid from 1985-1995. You'll notice that a The meetings themselves had to be halted when Student Union Building
number of nations have seen fit to admit me to teargas seeped into the fortification. Amnesty Stony Brook University
their territory, all, I might add without any inquiry International is currently calling for investigations Stony Brook, NY 11790
as to a criminal record. Here is an exhaustive list of Canadian authorities. If excluding certain U.S.A.
of countries I've entered without a problem in the
Page 2
Bush GivesWake-up Cal to Amerian Peope.I
By Walter Moss I
If you have been at all following spending billions of dollars on the FBI, CIA, NSA You will not prevent terrorism by expanding the
the news lately, you might be thinking to yourself and the rest of the alphabet soup of organizations lumbering bureaucracy of the failed intelligence
that there have been serious breeches of the public charged with preventing exactly what occurred on establishment. Giving more money and power
trust. By this I mean the horrific revelations as of that terrible day? Frankly Dumya, 9-11 could have to fools doesn't make them any less foolish
late, about hw ttally avoidabe ee e attacks been averted if this government actually gave a or incompetent. Attacking our rights (i.e. the
of September 1.th The FBI and White Huse shitiaboutprotecting it's people. infamous Patriot Act) does not make us more
prior knowledge of the terrorism being planed Bush's speech is a wake-up call to secure. Disappearing our Arab, Muslim and
against us,and yet they ile t t. bs ely Americans The message is thatnothingwill change Southeast Asian neighbors does increase our
nothing was done to protectus. The attackers were for the better, only for the worse in George W. security. Criminalizing foreign students based on
here, learning to fly, but not lando tae••e . e Bush's country. Insteadorefrming the ineffectual their race or religion is not only immoral but does
:toithe attention of the auorities
actions, came intelligence bureaucracy, which failed us, it will be nothing to make us safer either.
nothing w:as done. Bush was told of Bin-Laden' rewarded with an even bineer bureaucracy. Now TIThe safest course' of arctrio-i ia c(and »

to remove Bush from office and exorcise


olesome influence his administration has
ur democracy. His inaction constitutes
criminal negligence and at worst a
* allowance of a terrorist attack. In
y cynical realm of right wing politics,
;surprising. Either way, he is a criminal
criminal administration. People should
to this fact. We should not wave our
advertise "God Bless America" on our
this man leads our country. We should
ort this twit who bears some of the
ility for our suffering.
That we should do is support the people
use and Senate (like Barbara Lee) with
ge to ask important questions about
ely, what in the hell was Bush's role in
i. Instead of clamoring to complement
sane policy initiatives, legislators (and
the few remaining liberal Democrats)
llow Ms. Lee in pursuing the truth. The
ion into the crime of our lifetimes cannot
aaf to toss on the rotten government we
r.It has to be substantive and for that to
e, people need to not just be interested,
tnat "no one could nave prevented 9-11." It "no attempt to regain credibility in the eyes of the but to be raising hell about this issue. And that
one could have prevented 9-11" then why are we American people. However, they are all wrong. friends, is your job and mine.

By Mike Prazak
Mnsic Wretc
While working at my job, and speaking to of the masses. I cannot pinpoint exactly when and what music means what. This is possible
my various employee/slaves, I realized a steady this change occurred, but I'd guess somewhere because the aesthetic and emotional attachments
and conclusive declination in the importance in around the time the phonograph and radio to music are so far gone that it's only importance
music as an art form. This particular view was became mainstays in American households. Jazz to most people is as a status device.
ascertained from the way in which these several was possibly the last truly progressive movement This particular attitude is probably a
youths described their specific musical tastes and in music, but it also heralded the immediate product of me beinR a former music maior. which
why they assigned themselves to certain genres. downfall as well. W] obably is the reason
What startled me wasn't the reasons given, nor a rich tapestry of ch( r my pseudo musical
their likes or dislikes, it was the method in which and experime: tism. But I digress, it's
they claimed their allegiance to a genre. It seems syncopations c it the masses deciding
that there has been a turn away from admiring shone proudly, 1 usical taste that gets
the music itself, but rather it's ability to provide a were quickly replh y wiles in a uproar.
soundtrack to their lives. People take no pleasure by largely generic complete defiance of
in the rhythm changes of a Metallica song (yes unexperimental e general apathy and
they once had artistic merit), or the underlying bands which pum iocy that permeates
musical theme of a Weezer album. Instead, out watered d( e current "pop" rtiusic
they look to music to define them, and not vice tunes requested by ene, several decent
versa. About the only resonant attachment to any public. Music bec id respectable artists
aesthetic principle, is that there is still a minor a business, and s >, against all logic,
emotional directive in the consumption of music the people decic eak there way into
by some. Other than that however, it is utilized the quality, wer e mainstream. This
as either a status symbol or as a defining aspect musicians or mus uallv comes at a cost of
of the persons being. For example, feeling a little critics, but general everyday average Joe. selling out, the reason I didn't use quote's around
rebellious one summer? well the clear thing to do Far be it from me to pass judgment, but that was because this isn't the typical "selling out"
is find a few punk bands and your set. Conversely I'm going to anyway, I have very little faith in my that is the battle cry of purists of any scene. This
this means you cannot listen to any other genres, fellbw man, and I have even less faith in his ability is more a musical selling out, wherein the style
for risk of alienating your scene, for not keeping to decide what music I should be able to readily stays the same, but the songs are crafted into a
it "real". consume. Were it left at that, perhaps, in sbme more friendly and consumer oriented product.
This ambient approach to the art form is vague way I might be able to find contentment with Wait, I think that is what the scenesters mean by
the latest development in the deterioration of the the few gems that slipped through the mainstream it, but there motivation is the problem. They come
artistic principles of music. Once the emphasis filter. But this situation has undergone a mutation at it from a belief that they know the correct genre
was placed not on the art of music but rather of ninja turtle proportions, wherein no longer that is "true music", which is a misassumption.
the cultural context of the music, it triggered a does the populace define the music business All genres are respectable forms of music, it's
dramatic decline in the artistry itself. Partially productions, but instead the contrary. Through the complexity and diversity of the artists that
due to this fact, music became a marketable constant commercial bombardment people are told determines the merit of a band.
commodity and also a willing subject to the wills what to like, what genres define them as a person
Page 3
INFH I '
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I mR mil le- !k 1e
Executive Editor
fdiona Stonu oBro Daniel Hofer

Preoarin You For Life


JL
_L _ Managing Editor
Dustin Herlich
Welcome freshman! Welcome to the this is an anal raping!" and you would be
beginning of your collegiate career. This is completely right. But you need to shift your Associate Editor
presumably the time you are to begin your Adam Kearney
perspective, you gloomy gus! This is what
transmutation into an entity known as adult. awaits you in the real world! How better
Business Manager
Fortunately, you have Stony Brook University to prepare for the uncaring management of Diana Post
to help you in your crusade towards maturity. your future employer, than by attending a
Many alumni will claim that attending "The university that shows such utter disregard for News Editor
Brook" is akin to an anal raping, and that it its paying students. Learn of the corporate Deng Lee
ill prepares you for the life you are eventually pitfall of politics by watching our very own
going to lead. administration fold to any agenda thrown at Features Editor
Joe Hughes
But we digress, this college, more so it.
than any other, is perfect for making you Through this uncaring and heavy Photo Editor
ready for the realities of an adult life. Want handed method, Stony Brook University Ceci Norman
to experience underhanded manipulations is trying it's damnedest to stifle any
of Trade Federation magnitude? Look no troublesome idealism and hope that might koppi edetur
further than our illustrious administration creep into your being while attending college Michael Prazak
and the sterling polity which doles out the and experiencing new thoughts and ideas.
cash. Here, you can also experience the You should really be thankful that you attend Production Mngr.
tender ass bludgeoning of political agendas a University that cares enough to not mislead Adam Schlagman
gone wild. you in such a heartless way. Remember, SBU
A final lesson that sensei SBU will cares for you by NOT caring, and you should Webmaster
Steve Brannen
hand down to you is that of an uncaring thank your sparkling smooth virgin ass for
infrastructure set up exclusively to keep your that opportunity every day you breathe its Ombudsman
questions from being answered. Now you crisp sweet air. .alPaH IlassnX
might be saying, "Hey, those alumni are right

ii

Editorial: Where Has All the


-
Mnnpv Cnonpe?
·t r 1_
Bev Bryan, Tim Connors, Aaron .
Feingold, Joe Filippazzo, Wendy
Fuchsberg, Vadim Gedzberg, Chris
Genarri, Jonathan Gelling, Rob Gilheany,
Our wallets are angry. We are paying "Division 1" now, more and more money is Glenn "Squirrel" Given, Cory Grimes,
students, yet we are treated with careless being poured into this department. Between Jody Jarvis, Gregory Knopp, Andrea
Leeson, Brian Libfeld, Rich Mertz, Jamie
indifference. Look around you. You go to a new stadium and athlete scholarships, you Mignone, Walter Moss, Thomas Osbom,
class, you hang out, you do what you have to think they would be short on cash. Yet this is Andrew Pernick, Derrick Prince, Glenn
Roth, Ross Rosenfeld, Brian "Scoop"
do. You-get used to the little inconsistencies seemingly not so. Schneider, Albert Scott, Katie Sinnott,
and inconveniences that once bothered you. Other endeavors on campus cost big Chris Sorochin, Chris Stackowicz, Debbie
Sticher, Sarah Stuve, Doug Williams,
The broken door handle in your suite. The bucks. The fountain and the SAC cost a Rich Zimmer
pretty penny, and how useful are they to the I· I III II II·

students? What about the colorful redundant The Stony Brook Press is published fortnightly
during the academic year and twice during
new signs around the academic mall? Those the summer intersession by The Stony Brook
Press, a student run and student funded
aren't needed at all. non-profit organization. The opinions
Now look at our dorms. Most people expressed in letters, articles and viewpoints
do not necessarily reflect those of The Stony
will be eager to tell you the problems they Brook Press. Advertising policy does not
necessarily reflect editorial policy. For more
encounter there. How about our activity information on advertising and deadlines
call (631)632-6451. Staff meetings are held
fee? Student clubs always seem to have Wednesdays at 1:00 pm. First copy free.
trouble getting what they need to run their For additional copies contact the Business
Manager.
organization, this newspaper included.
The Stony Brook Press
It's a shame when the general populace Suites 060 & 061
is shoved aside in the name of money. Student Union
SUNY at Stony Brook
Whenever you feel like you are getting the Stony Brook, NY 11794-3200
short end of the stick, raise some noise. If you (631) 632-6451 Voice
(631) 632-4137 Fax
don't, it's only going to get worse. e-mail: stonypress@hotmail.com
www.sbvress.ore

rage a4
Thinps to do at School
/ '.
By Ceci Norman
At least a million times a semester, no Go to the spot. Every weekend-and
matter what school, the question of what there is to probably all week-the spot offers a bar-
do for fun arises. So to make life a little easier for like atmosphere and live music or plays.
those of you who are so bored your creativity has It's a kickass place to go and hang out.
disappeared (assuming it was there in the first place). See a play. Throughout the semester
Here's a listof possible things to do, beginning with Staller has various productions going on ranging
the most productive (feel freeto skip the first couple): from this produced by Stonybrook's Theatre
Go to class. I know, I know, it's a difficult Department to productions put on by visiting
thing to do; especially those damn 8am classes theatre troops. For more information on what's
(if you are dumb enough to take them). You being offered check: "www.staller.sunysb.edu".
paid for them. though, so you might as well go. See a movie. Along with it's plays Staller
:an do when you're Center offers various showings on weekends,
)t in class. I mean, as well as a film festival that takes place in the
is college, right? summer. Off-campus, the Brook Haven mall has
Go to a couple of theatres, and Stonybrook theatre's walk. Whatever method your to look damn sexy
e beach. Go has whatever Hollywood is throwing at us, and is, there's a way to do it on or around campus.
one, or go with Huntington has an Arts Theatre. If you are low Go to the city. Unlike every other place
ends. Bring a on cash-find one of the local rental places (there in the US, NYC is just a short-enough train ride
>ok to read, or a are more than Blockbusters) and rent a movie. away. Once you're in the city your possibilities
dio to play loud Not up to seeing a movie? Make your, for amusement are endless. There you can go
- 'ot
obnoxious music. I don't care. It's your beach own movie! Find a video camera-or not-and to museums, wander around, go to concerts,
trip, just go, the sound and the ocean are create your own movie. Be sure to include lots go to galleries, go shopping, etc. Just go, don't
great places to see vast amounts of water and of zombies and fake blood for best effects. Porn complain about paying for a train ticket, or the
just chill. Be sure to check out the beach in is usually also a plus, and plots are optional. amount of time it takes to get there-if you need
the picture; it's one of the best beaches ever. Workout. There is a huge sports complex amusement then it's your safest, easiest bet.
Find a way off campus to eat. Food on campus to go play whatever sport, and a Play poker. Yep,
on campus is horrid, so anyway to avoid it is swimming pool to swim in. Not to mention, a lot know, it's gambling-ar
recommended. This could be as simple as finding it's illegal. Whatever. It
a cheap fast food place (Wendy's) a cheap pizza fun. And it doesn't requi
place or bagel place-especially since it's NY losing money to play-i
pizza or bagels which can't be beat-along with fact, it's more fun withoi
most NY Diners. It could also be as expensive as money. Other forms
taking the train into the city and hunting down "money" include, ar
a 5 star restaurant. It could also be as creative as are not limited to clothe
hitchhiking to the local grocery store and buying candy, and other food. TI
the strangest foods possible to try cooking without best way to do it thoug
a microwave-since they are not allowed in dorms. is have everyone get a roll of quarters, which
Hang out on campus-just walk around can are good for laundry-it's a fun way to
and aimlessly loiter. There's a fountain to hang do your laundry for free (assuming you win).
out by (pictured) and there-was a bridge (also Come hang out at the press. We
pictured) but it was destroyed. You can find are always looking for new people to
where it was and lament it if you're that bored. write or take pictures or do whatever...

- i. I I I I I I I I

r · ·
Camnuis Eating on a BudIet
:I -- 7 -~ ·

By Mike Prazak
I hunger for babies. Nothing satiates.the flavor of your baby. believing this is the only way for the true flavor of
grim horrifying pains that well in my stomach (and One of the biggest pitfalls of that final the baby to be brought out.
mind) like the daily consumption of infant flesh. method, is the attachment that could potentially On a final note, I'd just like to remind
In my ritualistic absorption of post-natal beings, develop between you and said meal. When raising fellow infant eaters out there that the first step in
I have found a certain combination of spices and your baby, remember: That baby is a soulless, a good baby meal is its proper refrigeration. It's
seasoning can turn a downright tough and gnarled heartless construct of Satan, and given half a even conducive to begin the refrigeration before the
baby into a mouthwatering feast for the taste buds. chance it would eviscerate you completely and culling of the infant, this gets it's muscles used to a
Often, the acquisition of a ripe baby, for culinary lay eggs in your brain. Now that those emotional change in climate that will serve it well in the post-
purposes, can brighten a hungry infantavoires day. complications are taken care of, let's move onto the mortem. That's the final gift I can give towards the
However, nothing can sour the same day like an proper preparation of your baby. production of an efficient baby meal. I wish you
ill-prepared baby, devoid offlavor and panache. After the ritualistic silencing of the
The first decision to be made in selecting screams, you can now move forward to marinating
an appropriate child to consume, is an important your baby. The method of marinating is cautionary
one. You have several options readily available , indeed, of course you must skin your baby first,
you can head out east to the various free range baby but afterwards a bowl filled with your favorite
farms and select the healthiest and most strapping particular sauce or glaze can be prepared. Be
young go-getter you can find. A nice thing about careful not to submerge your baby in the bowl, it's
the free-range baby farms is that you have an more potent to leave it halfway dipped and to rotate
option to examine the baby to determine if it has it as the day goes by. Approximately 24 hours is
any soft spots or defects. All said and done nothing appropriate for the baby to get fully saturated with
ruins a pedovoires meal like taking a big bite out all those tasty juices. For an added extra treat you
of a rotten baby. Another option, albeit limited to can use the innards and dripping from the baby to
stock, is to go to your local grocery and select a add a zestful flavor to the mix.
baby from the infant tanks they have set up. Here Now comes the cooking of the child, here
you can.pick the ripest looking baby of the lot, it's is where you'll want to invest in a little personal
a little more limited in options but still a viable one. creativity, because many different people have
A final option open to the infant connoisseur is that many different opinions about when a baby is
of raising your very own baby, for eating purposes "ready" tor eating. Some people prefer their meal
only, of course. This particular method can yield rare, this allows for the base juices of the meat to
_great results, mostly due to the fact that you are in still be present at the time of absorption. Others
complete control of the particular tenderness and prefer their baby cooked to a blackened Cajun crisp,
I 1 N
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Mishaps
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Letters Will Make You Cool
,
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Page 7
-Th.
St-
The Stony B re e
Brook Press Presents:
TIPS FOR INCOMING FRESHMAN

Dorm Life Tips:


1) Always remember to give your roommate a goodr
2) Nothing helps foster friendship like sharing.
condoms, shoes. All fair game.
3) Absconding with anal virginity of your roomn
meaning to the word closeness.
4) Help bring out each other's creative side. A re
invaders" is always welcomed.
5) Show your support for common causes. Save wat
your roommate. Any females willing to do so receive
gifts from The Stony Brook Press, Proof in the form c
video evidence is required.
6) Civil war re-enactments are a good way to settle c
7) One word. Felching.

Bathroom Usage Tips:


1) While there is a competent janitorial staff at sto
never hurts to clean the shower floor yourself. With y
tongue.
2) Money is tight in college. Again, don't be shy at
supplies like soap, razors, herpes medication, etc.
3) Shower shoes are a no-no. The floors of dorm room s
built in micro-massagers. Remember to take full ad'
4) Don't pee in the shower. Make sure you open tl
and pee on the floor.-
5) Don't flush, it just clogs the pipes.
6) If you have to spew after a hard night of drinking
needed to wash his sheets anyway.
7) The bathroom is the best place to eat Deng Lee's.
8) Don't forget to properly feather your nest.

Campus Dining Tips:


1) Don't feel bad about catching your own from the ]
2) No they don't charge extra for the flies. Just st
protein. -
3) Yes, it will look better coming out. Too bad'it cor
4) 2 words- Green Cactus.
5) Don't feel bad about eating food while you are s
paying for it. They should be paying you to eat this
6) Feel free to raid your friend's fridges.
7) The Stony Brook Press, especially the editorial.boarc
for the donation of meal plan points.

Page 8
*,eM B**E Dixie

PRES
ROOM 060 BASEMENT STUDENT UNION

WE WANTYOUR BABIES
StonyPress@hotmail.com

A etter to tme Sem assarcusettes


By Chris Sorochin
____________ChambeIr of Com ec
My wife and I spent a long holiday Or perhaps there is an overabundance (of a bar, but are bound and determined that their
weekend in Boston February 16-18. On Sunday the wrong kind) of tourists: our second unpleasant dreary influence be felt anyway.
we took the commuter rail up to Salem for a day discovery of the day came when we stopped I didn't explore too extensively, but I'll
trip. Like many other tourists, we were drawn by for lunch at an "Irish" pub called O'Neill's. I bet there is also an anti skateboarding ordinance
the town's unique history regarding the witchcraft suppose I should be grateful that I was allowed to stick it to the youth and loads of regulations
trials. the privilege of being able to drink a beer with concerning upkeep of property designed to put
Imagine our shock and disappointment lunch, but a sign on the door of the establishment the screws to the working class in general.
to discover that the Witch Museum was in fact informed me I would not be allowed the pleasure Some historians give the Salem Witch
closed. Not only that, but it turned out that most of a postprandial cigarette! Trials a socio economic interpretation, in which a
other businesses were also closed on that damp Yes, to my horror, I realized that I had burgeoning, newly arrived merchant class sought
and raw Sunday. landed in one of those snooty Massachusetts to displace the older and poorer agriculturally
I couldn't imagine why, in a world famous municipalities that bans smoking in bars. Let me based inhabitants by literally "demonizing" them.
tourist destination, the premier attraction, as well guess: your town government is dominated by It seems that very little has changed in Salem in
as the majority of shops and restaurants, would affluent, pseudo liberal yuppie incomers, whose the last 400 years, except the pretext.
be closed on Sunday, the day of the week that idea of progress is the purging of any and all Here's one bit of riff-raff who won't be
most people have free. Perhaps, I mused, it was activity that might disrupt their narrow and sterile back.
an attempt at creating an authentically "Puritan" view of how things should be. These are people
atmosphere. who would probably never be caught dead in
Page 9
By Doug Williams ItzA
Bloodline Music
'Success is what one makes of Melville Library, though I have yet to g
opportunity.' Someone once told me that the chance to kick up a jam there. Goc
statement and, for some obviously good reasons, I things come to those who wait...
have never forgotten it. For many of you who are Without going into too mu<
starting college this fall, the pre-mentioned advice redundant detail, I assure you that the
is definitely something for you to remember as are more than enough ways to enjoy yol
you start upon the next phase on your journeys stay at Stony Brook, whether commutir
through life. This is a time in life where you will or living on campus. Actually, fun ar
attempt to define'who you are and where you are education never really have to pa
going. Stony Brook University is an environment from each other, even when already
rich in culture and diversity and is a wonderful your profession. A fine example of
place to grow academically and expand socially. professional musician, who never le
Though learning is something that never go of striving to learn more and alwai
ends, it is best to take full advantage of your doing her best to teach the art of musi
college years to prosper in higher education, for is a performer from New York Cit
the years to follow may not be so generous to you Jane Blackstone. From the moment Jar
as far as time goes. With all this said, I must also Blackstone stepped onto the streets
remind you that these will be some of the best Union Square in New York City at aj
times of your life and you will create memories, 18, her determination to live her life
and possibly a friendship or two, that will last a passion as a jazz vocal artist has nev
lifetime. faded. She is a true musical spirit wl
On and around campus you will find a can handle it all. As vocalist, pianis
variety ways to entertain yourself. The Student composer and educator, her pursu
Activity Center is a great place to hang out and of musical expression has taken her article.
socialize. If you are an avid studier or just enjoy four continents and through a diverse array of With the same passion and determination,
reading a lot, the library system is phenomenal. life-enriching experiences. I hope all the incoming freshmen are able to
There are plenty of fields and areas for playing Another artist that I have had the pleasure reach their goals in life. Remember, life is short,
Frisbee and other fun sports. And, of course, for of virtually meeting is a young graphic designer so live it to the fullest and make the best of
those who are interested in music, there are many who is originally from the NY tri-state area. the opportunities presented to you. Check out
ways to express, rehearse, create, and have a good Cassidy Lind is an art major at the University of the links at bloodlinemusic.com and feel free
time. One thing I used to do regularly is sit outside Virginia and is working with Bloodline Music to to email me at anytime with your thoughts at
The Harriman Cafe and play guitar near the huge create some fantastic imagery for our website and music@bloodlinemusic.com. Good luck to you all
water fountain. Now, the university actually has other music-related pieces. Cassidy created the and welcome to Stony Brook!!!
another large fountain between Admin and the 'Welcome To Stony Brook' image included in this

By Adam Schlagman
Advantages to Dorming On Campus V J

Is dorming on campus better then offered, and if you commute then you have to stay that's another story in itself.
commuting? It sure as hell is. Dorming is much at the school really late or drive home and back to If you commute, you cannot park your
better for so many different reasons, so as to make participate. It may be cumbersome for commuters car right next to the buildings your classes are
living at home incomparable. You barley get to to experience the same college life as residents. in, but you have to park in designated parking
experience any of college life if you live at home. Dorming is just truly fantastic. It allows lots and then you have to wait for buses, or even
One reason that dorming is better then you to become more involved in the school. worse walk a couple miles. This can be really
commuting is freedom. If you dorm, you have so Since you live on campus, your RA's (Residential bad because the buses might get you to class late
much more freedom, since you are able to make Advisbrs) tell you all of the activities that are taking or very early and walking would get you there
your own decisions. No one tells you what to place. For instance, you can become a member of really late. If you drive every day, then you will
do. Your parents cannot make you do anything, your building legislature and help to decide how be wasting money, using gas, and run the risk of
and teachers do not get on your case about doing your building funds are spent. Living on campus getting into an accident, while if you were to live
work. You either do it or you don't. there are also allows students to go to parties and different on campus you just walk to classes or wherever
no curfews; you can stay up as late as you want. events that are taking place. If someone lives off you need to go and do ndt run any risks and even
Everything is up to you and you alone. It is up campus, then they would have to drive back and get some exercise. It's even safe at night, because
to you to study and focus on your work, and to forth from home to school depending on the times you can have RSPs walk you to where ever you
learn how to be independent. You are responsible of the events or parties. need to go on campus.
for maintaining a good academic standing, and a By living on campus you have more Living on campus is an experience in
healthy lifestyle. Residing on campus gives you a privacy in your dorm room then at home. Many which you learn to be more independent and
taste of the real world, and what it is like to be off college students have previously had to share self-sufficient. When living on your own, you are
on your own. their room with siblings until moving into their allowed to test the limits of sleeping (which I have
Another reason that dorming is better, is dorm room. You usually have to share it with done frequently), eating (it sucks when those meal
that you get to interact with more people and find a roommate, unless you get a single. Even if points run out), and studying (yea you need to
more friends that you want to spend lots of time you have to share, you still get to do basically do that too every once in a while) and experiment
with. Because you see them more often, you are whatever you want to at least half of it. You can with different lifestyles to find out which fits your
able to develop close relationships with them. If hang up posters and arrange the room to your personality and needs. You also learn about time
you dorm, you can make a lot of friends in your liking. Because you and your roommate are more management, which is without a doubt one of the
building and do many different things with them. compatible, due to the similarity of college life, most important skills obtained through dorming.
You can make friends that last for the rest of your you each have a better understanding of each Much like the real world, you are responsible for
life. When you come to college, the diversity other. You can blast music or throw a huge party; every aspect of your existence. Everything from
of people can be overwhelming at first, but it anything at all. You can even let friends sleep over laundry, meals, and sleep is left up to you. This
becomes interesting to meet and integrate with for the night, and they can even be of the opposite allows you to understand, what is required of you
new and different types of people. sex. in order to live a well-balanced life.
By living in the dorms you have more There are also many disadvantages to Dorming is not for everyone, but it is for
access to everything on campus. The library is commuting. One is that if your classes are not most people. Dorming allows people to get the
always open until 12 AM. Students can go there right after each other, either you have to drive "full college experience" as some people put it.
whenever they want to do research or take out home and back, or just wait with nothing to do. You get full freedom and the experiences introduce
books, while students commuting can only use the This is really bothersome and can get extremely you into the real world. Even if you miss your
library when they are on campus. Students who annoying. Since some kids do not want to drive parents or relatives, you can still go home on the
dorm are always on campus during their teachers all the way back, they just do not go to class at weekends; so dorming is the way to go. There
office hours, while commuting students might all, which can adversely affect their grades and is no other choice; just dorm and you will enjoy
have to drive all the way back just to speak to one therefore their lives. Of course, even if you do live college as much as everyone else does.
of their teachers. There are many different clubs on campus you sometimes don't go to class; but
Page 10
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