Ways to use your time to have successful relationship 2 Wise King Solomon made a profound statement, he said, ‘There

is time for everything under heaven.’ I was speaking to an adult single recently; I said to him that because most of us measure time by years, it’s the reason we don’t comprehend how fast time is actually running. If I asked you how old are you; you will mention your age in years as the usual response of people. However, there are other ingredients that make up the years- they are seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, before you get to years. I strongly believe that our lives are measured by the second; every tick of time, you are aging though it never really shows until after those seconds has culminated to minutes, hours, days, months and finally years. If there is time for everything, it invariably implies that if time is not properly used in an orderly manner, crisis is will be the end result in the life of such an individual. Disorderliness is the reason for most of the heartbreaks singles have gone through in the past; the time they ought to spend developing themselves academically is spent on running after the opposite sex or falling in love with the opposite sex. At a tender age, such singles believe they know everything about love because they have read, watch and sang songs on love. I was in a youth/singles week of a church recently; I said to those that attended- from the time you leave secondary school to your 3rd year in the university, you should have one major goal, which is to get admitted and leave with a good grade. Who do you think should be blamed for people who are not married at 40; God, devil or the person? Who will you blame if you get to the age of 40, broke, still single and searching? To many, the devil will take the blame; they will attend prayer meetings to kill witches, bind demons and break curses. To others, they will conclude that it’s their God ordain destiny. To the smart ones who wake up to reality and want to still experience a change; they will put the blame on themselves and take corrective step. The proof of disorderliness is all around you; you’ll see young ladies who should be in the university pregnant for a rascal who can’t even take care of himself (that is if they even know who the father of their child is, because of their involvement with multiple partners); young men who want to be rich over night sitting in cyber café looking for a ‘maga’ to hit through 419; you’ll see young ladies who have been ‘hit’ sexually by nearly every guy that that they had been involved with and they wonder why they end up been ditched by them; you’ll see young guys sagging and talking big. I can tell you one truth; they are wasting time and invariably their life. Anyone can blame the leadership of the nation for their predicament; however, the reality is what you sow, is what you will reap (QED). There is time to get serious with your academics; time to seek and develop relationship with your Maker; time to develop healthy relationship with people; time to learn how to be productive; time to ‘toast’ a babe etc. When you spend the time to be educated in chasing babes around, you will get what you want, but you will end up in the future poor and broke.

Here are some of the ways I suggest that time should be spentSpend time to be knowledgeable- I guess that you have heard this statement, ‘Readers are leaders.’ That is a thought provoking statement; the reality is that the statement is true. People who succeed read; interestingly, people who also failed are knowledgeable. However, the difference between the two groups is what they are reading and what they did with what they have learnt. Most singles are knowledgeable in the act of love from the novels, films and magazines they have gone through; you don’t have to guess why this singles have crisis in relationship issues the most. I have written this statement in some of my write ups in the past, I am going to include it here again. You’ll rarely find people who sing, write and act love parts that have successful marriages. You don’t have to go far to prove me wrong or right; this are the mentors of most singles, no wonder they don’t have successful relationship too. We are all ignorant in all subjects of life, is the wise saying of Pastor Poju Oyemade; only wise people seek for knowledge in any area of life they want to see success. There is a culture we need to address in this side of the world- read to pass and then dump the books. That can work out for our academics to a great measure; however, when it comes to real life event, you’ll end up a failure if you do that. If you want to have a successful relationship that will end in a lasting and happy marriage, you’ll need to dump some of the trash that you read and watch (romantic and pornographic films, books and magazines). You’ll need to overhaul your mindset, by renewing it with healthy and balanced information. Never assume that you know what it takes to make your relationship succeed, Reverend Sam Adeyemi said, ‘Assumption is the lowest form of knowledge, to a fool, assumption is knowledge.’ Spend time to do what you read- One major difference between a failure and a person who succeed, is what they did with what they know. Mere words without proper actions, is the undoing of many. Knowledge you have heard is power; I quite disagree with that statement. Knowledge is only power when what it contains is used by him who has it; so you can find people who are graduates, yet failures in other areas of life because what they have is intellectual property that is of no good if it can’t produce result. It is the doer of what they know that are blessed, not just those that are readers but not actors of what they read. Interesting, in acting, the actor is given a manuscript to read and is told the pattern he’s to play his role. If he gets too smart by not making use of the manuscript, he will wreck the film if such indiscipline is tolerated. Guess what, no relationship succeed outside of following laid down principles; those principles are like the law of gravity. It’s universal. If you read a sound book on relationship, you will note that abstinence from premarital sex is advocated with a passion on it; break the rule, you will end up breaking your life.

There is nothing called safe sex outside of marriage; you may be safe from AIDS, and other sexually transmitted diseases. However, you’ll live in regret in the long run for breaking this fundament principle for a healthy relationship. Someone told a counselor that every man who dated her asked for sex; he responded by asking, do you give to them when they asked? Her answer was a yes; then he asked, after giving it to them, did they stay with you? Her response was a NO- they end up leaving not long afterwards. Olufemi Fasanya 08037257479 www.relationship-singles.blogspot.com

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