For a Lighter Side of Life

God’s Improvement Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?" "Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too? "Yes, He did," the grandpa answered. For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in a small mirror. Her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately." Wish you were Jewish It was a small town and the Catholic Priest, the Protestant Minister and the Jewish Rabbi were very good friends. Of course, there was a lot of kidding and joking between them all year long. To their surprise one year, the Priest and the Minister received a Christmas card from the Rabbi. It read: Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish When the Messiah really comes You'll wish you were Jewish. God’s Dilemma A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years?" God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

An Initiative of Jesus Youth A Missionary Movement at the Service of the Church

Don Bosco Utume
• •

September 13, Sunday: Issue 95

Jambo You(th) is a weekly news letter aimed at helping the Youth in moulding their daily lives in Christ. Our vision is expressed in just two phrases: GOOD CHRISTIANS and RESPONSIBLE CITIZENS.

Pep-up To the Young Points to Ponder Saint of the Week Jokes Last Drop

: Stories for Reflection : Treating Others : Just Me! : St. Robert Bellarmine : For a Lighter side of Life : Excuses

Features

Softening Forgiveness
Albert Tomei is a justice of the New York State Supreme Court. A young defendant was convicted in Judge Tomei's court of gunning down another person execution-style. The murderer had a bad record, was no stranger to the system, and only stared in anger as the jury returned its guilty verdict. The victim's family had attended every day of the two-week trial. On the day of sentencing, the victim's mother and grandmother addressed the court. When they spoke, neither addressed the jury. Both spoke directly to the murderer. They both forgave him. "You broke the Golden Rule--loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind. You broke the law--loving your neighbor as yourself. I am your neighbor," the older of the two women told him, "so you have my address. If you want to write, I'll write you back. I sat in this trial for two weeks, and for the last sixteen months I tried to hate you. But you know what? I could not hate you. I feel sorry for you because you made a wrong choice." Judge Tomei writes: "For the first time since the trial began, the defendant's eyes lost their laser force and appeared to surrender to a life force that only a mother can generate: nurturing, unconditional love. After the grandmother finished, I looked at the defendant. His head was hanging low. There was no more swagger, no more stare. The destructive and evil forces within him collapsed helplessly before this remarkable display of humaneness." Rubel Shelly Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; Luke 6:35

Last Drop Excuses
Late Judge Ziglar, loved to tell the story of the fellow who went next door to borrow his neighbor's lawn mower. The neighbor explained that he could not let him use the mower because all the flights had been canceled from New York to Los Angeles. The borrower asked him what canceled flights from New York to Los Angeles had to do with borrowing his lawn mower. "It doesn't have anything to do with it, but if I don't want to let you use my lawn mower, one excuse is as good as another." Zig Ziglar
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Jambo You(th) 2009

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Jambo You(th) 2009

Treat Others as You Want them to Treat You
A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and motherin-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly. Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress. Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr.. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, 'Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you.' Li-Li said, 'Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do. 'Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, 'You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. 'Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.' Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother. After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with. The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, 'Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.' Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. 'Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.' HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: 'The person who loves others will also be loved in return.' God might be trying to work in another person's life through you.

Just Me!
From the time I was little, I knew I was great ‘cause the people would tell me, “You’ll make it—just wait.” But they never did tell me how great I would be If I ever played someone who was greater than me. When I’m in the back yard, I’m king with the ball. To swish all those baskets is no sweat at all. But all of a sudden there’s a man in my face Who doesn’t seem to realize that I’m king of this But the fault is not mine; I’m the greatest, you see. place. Then finally it hit me when I started to see So the pressure gets to me; I rush with the ball. That the face in the mirror looked exactly like me. My passes to teammates could go through the It wasn’t my teammates, who were dropping the wall. ball, My jumpers not falling, my dribbles not sure. And it wasn’t my coach shooting bricks at the wall. My hand is not steady, my eye is not pure. That face in the mirror that was always so great The fault is my teammates—they don’t underHad some room for improvement instead of just stand. hate. The fault is my coaches—what a terrible plan. So I stopped blaming others and I started to grow. The fault is the call by that blind referee. My play got much better and it started to show. And all of my teammates didn’t seem quite so bad. I learned to depend on the good friends I had. Now I like myself better since I started to see That I was lousy being great—I’m much better being me.

Tom Krause.

SAINT for the WEEK September 17 Robert Bellarmine
He was born at Montepulciano in Tuscany in 1542 and was an all-round ‘Renaissance man’: writer, poet, musician, orator. He joined the Jesuits and was ordained in 1570 at Ghent in the Low Countries. A distinguished theologian, he produced the complete synthesis of the Catholic faith called the Disputations on the Controversies of the Christian Faith. He lived extremely frugally and humbly, constantly giving away his possessions to the poor. He was a man of modesty and charity. He was a moderating influence in the case of the astronomer Galileo. Many of those in the Church who opposed Galileo’s view of a heliocentric universe had their own agenda to pursue; Bellarmine realised this and acted as Galileo’s unofficial protector. He urged caution in the case, but admitted that if what Galileo taught proved to be correct, then Scripture would have to be interpreted differently, as indeed it does. He died in 1621, he was canonized in 1930, and was declared a Doctor of the Church in 1931.

'A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one'
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Jambo You(th) 2009

Jambo You(th) 2009

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