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Topic: Divorce

The feel of divorce, although no divorces are alike, there are general principles and
standards that apply to all of them. It is essential that you are aware of the process and its
likely effects.
Correct information can prevent you from victimizing yourself. ou are not under a
life sentence to !e unprepared for what lies ahead.
In order for you to understand the feelings in a divorce, we are going to e"amine its
emotional, physical and spiritual conse#uences !etween anger toward your spouse and
self !lame causes fluctuations in a !ehavior that interfere with concentration, sleep, and
the proper care of oneself and children.
our head may say living apart is logical, !ut your heart can have enormous
reservations. $ven though the !asic components of love have pro!a!ly faded in a
trou!led marriage, attachment persists and !ecomes the hang%up of wanting to !e together
&eople who have given up don't usually get divorced. Those who are divorcing often
feel that life has something more to offer them than what they currently have. (e humans
do not take personal attachments lightly.
Divorce is prevalent and more socially accepta!le than in the past, don't think for one
minute that it is easier on the emotions.
Divorce sets in motion a seemingly endless wave of emotions especially worries and
feelings oof loss from which family mem!ers must recover.
There is a tendency to !ecome over involved in an o!sessive analysis of )what went
In reality, a divorce simply e"changes one set of pro!lems for another.
&erhaps you have had identity, social status, financial sta!ility, a family unit, friends,
relatives, home, community associations, ha!its or pleasant holidays, all of which reflect
assumptions and e"pectations !ased upon the ground rules of )!eing married+.
,ttorneys, !y triaining and professional standards, are e"pected to handle divorce
strictly in keeping with the ,merican -ar ,ssociations's .,-,/ 0odel 1ates of
&roffesional Conduct .2345/.
,n attorney's primary responsi!ility is to represent the client. The welfare and interests
of the other spouse or children are not the attorney's professional concern since the
assumption of the law is that they will !e e#ually represented !y opposing legal counsel.
This means that attorneys often have a one%sided view of case.
Topic: 0arital 1elatonship
6lo!ally, most societies regard the marital union more as an affair the state than an
affair of the heart. 7ince it performs such a vital function as alliance !uilding, marriages
are not arranged !y individuals. 8either lust or love are allowed to interfere, although
love is usually e"pected to follow from the marital union.
The classic ,sian system is the arranges marriage where matches are determined !y the
families involved. 7ometimes as soon as children is !orn.
0odern, individualistic values and emphasis on person all choice are gradually eroding
the alliance%!uilding role of marriage.
In cele!ration of the longevity of marital love the wedding anniversary gift increases in
value as the years go !y, passing from paper to gold.
$ven if marriage is less common, this does not mean a movement away from life as a
couple. 0any people in developed regions, 9atin ,merica, and the Carri!ean live
together%often recognized as )married+ in law.
,lthough different societies have very different views a!out what #ualities are
masculine, such #ualities are invaria!ly more highly valued than those thought to !e
In many societies men have considera!le authority over women. It is the male's family
that a !ride usually :oins.
In e"treme cases, women lay down their own lives at the death of their hus!ands.
In modern industrial society many old customs have vanished, !ut signs of them
remain: at marriage the father )gives+ the ride away;; the hus!and )chooses her hand+.
<amilies, cele!ration and hope in a world of change% Dr. =o -oyden with >8$7C?
The Divorce Decisions (ork!ook , planning and ,ction 6uide% 0argorie 9ouise $ngel
and Diana Delhi 6ould