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The history of valentines day

The history of Valentine's Day and its patron saint is shrouded in mystery. But we do know
that February has long been a month of romane. !t. Valentine's Day" as we know it today"
ontains vestiges of both #hristian and anient $oman tradition. !o" who was !aint Valentine
and how did he beome assoiated with this anient rite% Today" the #atholi #hurh reogni&es
at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus" all of whom were martyred.
'ne legend ontends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third entury in $ome.
(hen )mperor #laudius ** deided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives
and families" he outlawed marriage for young men his rop of potential soldiers. Valentine"
reali&ing the in+ustie of the deree" defied #laudius and ontinued to perform marriages for
young lovers in seret. (hen Valentine's ations were disovered" #laudius ordered that he be
put to death.
'ther stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help #hristians
esape harsh $oman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
,ording to one legend" Valentine atually sent the first -valentine- greeting himself. (hile in
prison" it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl who may have been his
+ailor's daughter who visited him during his onfinement. Before his death" it is alleged that
he wrote her a letter" whih he signed -From your Valentine"- an e.pression that is still in use
today. ,lthough the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky" the stories ertainly emphasi&e
his appeal as a sympatheti" heroi" and" most importantly" romanti figure. *t's no surprise that
by the /iddle ,ges" Valentine was one of the most popular saints in )ngland and Frane.
(hile some believe that Valentine's Day is elebrated in the middle of February to ommemorate
the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial whih probably ourred around 012 ,.D
others laim that the #hristian hurh may have deided to elebrate Valentine's feast day in the
middle of February in an effort to -hristiani&e- elebrations of the pagan 3uperalia festival. *n
anient $ome" February was the offiial beginning of spring and was onsidered a time for
purifiation. 4ouses were ritually leansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a
type of wheat alled spelt throughout their interiors. 3uperalia" whih began at the ides of
February" February 56" was a fertility festival dediated to Faunus" the $oman god of agriulture"
as well as to the $oman founders $omulus and $emus.
To begin the festival" members of the 3uperi" an order of $oman priests" would gather at the
sared ave where the infants $omulus and $emus" the founders of $ome" were believed to have
been ared for by a she7wolf or lupa. The priests would then sarifie a goat" for fertility" and a
dog" for purifiation.
The boys then slied the goat's hide into strips" dipped them in the sarifiial blood and took to
the streets" gently slapping both women and fields of rops with the goathide strips. Far from
being fearful" $oman women welomed being touhed with the hides beause it was believed the
strips would make them more fertile in the oming year. 3ater in the day" aording to legend" all
the young women in the ity would plae their names in a big urn. The ity's bahelors would
then eah hoose a name out of the urn and beome paired for the year with his hosen woman.
These mathes often ended in marriage. 8ope 9elasius delared February 5: !t. Valentine's Day
around :;< ,.D. The $oman -lottery- system for romanti pairing was deemed un7#hristian and
outlawed. 3ater" during the /iddle ,ges" it was ommonly believed in Frane and )ngland that
February 5: was the beginning of birds' mating season" whih added to the idea that the middle
of February Valentine's Day should be a day for romane. The oldest known valentine still
in e.istene today was a poem written by #harles" Duke of 'rleans to his wife while he was
imprisoned in the Tower of 3ondon following his apture at the Battle of ,ginourt. The
greeting" whih was written in 5:56" is part of the manusript olletion of the British 3ibrary in
3ondon" )ngland. !everal years later" it is believed that =ing 4enry V hired a writer named >ohn
3ydgate to ompose a valentine note to #atherine of Valois.
*n 9reat Britain" Valentine's Day began to be popularly elebrated around the seventeenth
entury. By the middle of the eighteenth entury" it was ommon for friends and lovers in all
soial lasses to e.hange small tokens of affetion or handwritten notes. By the end of the
entury" printed ards began to replae written letters due to improvements in printing
tehnology. $eady7made ards were an easy way for people to their emotions in a time
when diret e.pression of one's feelings was disouraged. #heaper postage rates also ontributed
to an inrease in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. ,merians probably began
e.hanging hand7made valentines in the early 5122s. *n the 5<:2s" )sther ,. 4owland began to
sell the first mass7produed valentines in ,meria.
,ording to the 9reeting #ard ,ssoiation" an estimated one billion valentine ards are sent
eah year" making Valentine's Day the seond largest ard7sending holiday of the year. ?,n
estimated 0.@ billion ards are sent for #hristmas.A
,ppro.imately <6 perent of all valentines are purhased by women. *n addition to the Bnited
!tates" Valentine's Day is elebrated in #anada" /" the Bnited =ingdom" Frane" and
Valentine greetings were popular as far bak as the /iddle ,ges ?written Valentine's didn't begin
to appear until after 5:22A" and the oldest known Valentine ard is on display at the British
/useum. The first ommerial Valentine's Day greeting ards produed in the B.!. were reated
in the 5<:2s by )sther ,. 4owland. 4owland" known as the /other of the Valentine" made
elaborate reations with real lae" ribbons and olorful pitures known as -srap.-
One of the most famous Symbols of Valentines Day
Cupid has always played a role in the celebrations of love and lovers. He is known as a mischievous,
winged child, whose arrows who would pierce the hearts of his victims causing them to fall deeply in
love. n ancient !reece he was known as "ros the young son of #phrodite, the goddess of love and
beauty. $o the %oman&s he was Cupid, and his mother Venus.
One legend tells the story of Cupid and the mortal maiden, 'syche. Venus was (ealous of the beauty
of 'syche, and ordered Cupid to punish the mortal. )ut instead, Cupid fell deeply in love with her.
He took her as his wife, but as a mortal she was forbidden to look at him.
'syche was happy until her sisters convinced her to look at Cupid. Cupid punished her by departing.
$heir lovely castle and gardens vanished with him and 'syche found herself alone in an open field.
#s she wandered to find her love, she came upon the temple of Venus. *ishing to destroy her, the
goddess of love gave 'syche a series of tasks, each harder and dangerous than the last. +or her last
task 'syche was given a little bo, and told to take it to the underworld. She was told to get some of
the beauty of 'roserpine, the wife of 'luto, and put it in the bo,.During her trip she was given tips
on avoiding the dangers of the realm of the dead. #nd also warned not to open the bo,. $emptation
would overcome 'syche and she opened the bo,. )ut instead of finding beauty, she found deadly
Cupid found her lifeless on the ground. He gathered the sleep from her body and put it back in the
bo,. Cupid forgave her, as did Venus. $he gods, moved by 'syche&s love for Cupid made her a
#upid is the most famous of Valentine symbols and everybody knows that boy armed with bow
and arrows" and piering hearts . 4e is known as a mishievous" winged hild armed with bow
and arrows. The arrows signify desires and emotions of love" and #upid aims those arrows at
9ods and 4umans" ausing them to fall deeply in love. #upid has always played a role in the
elebrations of love and lovers. *n anient 9reee he was known as )ros" the young son of
,phrodite" the goddess of love and beauty. To the $oman's he was #upid" and his mother was
There is a very interesting story about #upid and 4is mortal Bride 8syhe in $oman mythology.
Venus was +ealous of the beauty of 8syhe" and ordered #upid to punish the mortal. But instead"
#upid fell deeply in love with her. 4e took her as his wife" but as a mortal she was forbidden to
look at him.
8syhe was happy until her sisters persuaded her to look at #upid. as soon as 8syhe looked at
#upid" #upid punished her by leaving her. Their lovely astle and gardens vanished too. 8syhe
found herself alone in an open field with no signs of other beings or #upid. ,s she wandered
trying to find her love" she ame upon the temple of Venus. (ishing to destroy her" the goddess
of love gave 8syhe a series of tasks" eah harder and more dangerous then the last.
For her last task 8syhe was given a little bo. and told to take it to the underworld. !he was told
to get some of the beauty of 8roserpine" the wife of 8luto" and put it in the bo.. During her trip
she was given tips on
avoiding the dangers of the realm of the dead. !he was also warned not to open the bo.. But
Temptation overame 8syhe and she opened the bo.. But instead of finding beauty" she found
deadly slumber.
#upid found her lifeless on the ground. 4e gathered the deadly sleep from her body and put it
bak in the bo.. #upid forgave her" as did Venus. The gods" moved by 8syhe's love for #upid
made her a goddess.
Today" #upid and his arrows have beome the most popular of love signs" and love is most
freCuently depited by two hearts piered by an arrow" #upid's arrow.
he History of Saint Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day started in the time of the $oman )mpire. *n anient $ome" February 5:th was a
holiday to honour >uno. >uno was the Dueen of the $oman 9ods and
9oddesses. The $omans also knew her as the 9oddess of women and
marriage. The following day" February 56th" began the Feast of 3uperalia.
The lives of young boys and girls were stritly separate. 4owever" one of the ustoms of the
young people was name drawing. 'n the eve of the festival of 3uperalia the names of $oman
girls were written on slips of paper and plaed into +ars. )ah young man would draw a girl's
name from the +ar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom
he hose. !ometimes the pairing of the hildren lasted an entire year" and often" they would fall
in love and would later marry.
Bnder the rule of )mperor #laudius ** $ome was involved in many bloody and unpopular
ampaigns. #laudius the #ruel was having a diffiult time getting soldiers to +oin his military
leagues. 4e believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or
families. ,s a result" #laudius anelled all marriages and engagements in $ome. The good !aint
Valentine was a priest at $ome in the days of #laudius **. 4e and !aint /arius aided the
#hristian martyrs and seretly married ouples" and for this kind deed !aint Valentine was
apprehended and dragged before the 8refet of $ome" who ondemned him to be beaten to death
with lubs and to have his head ut off. 4e suffered martyrdom on the 5:th day of February"
about the year 012. ,t that time it was the ustom in $ome" a very anient ustom" indeed" to
elebrate in the month of February the 3uperalia" feasts in honour of a heathen god. 'n these
oasions" amidst a variety of pagan eremonies" the names of young women were plaed in a
bo." from whih they were drawn by the men as hane direted.
The pastors of the early #hristian #hurh in $ome endeavoured to do away with the pagan
element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. ,nd as the
3uperalia began about the middle of February" the pastors appear to have hosen !aint
Valentine's Day for the elebration of this new fea!t. !o it seems that the ustom of young men
hoosing maidens for valentines" or saints as patrons for the oming year" arose in this way.
3ove Cuotes
3ove is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.
!piteful words an hurt your feelings but silene breaks your heart.
Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
3ove is like the truth" sometimes it prevails" sometimes it hurts.
,nger is a wound gone mad.
This +ust might hurt a little" love hurts sometimes when you do it right.
The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesnt want to be held on to.
(hen you left" * lost a part of me.
Dont ry over anyone who wont ry over you.
3ove is like heaven but an hurt like hell.
Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of loveE it is the faithless who know
loves tragedies.
!ometimes you +ust got to be strong. *t may hurt and you may shed a few tears" but every
things going to be alright.
$elationships are like glass. !ometimes its better to leave them broken than try to hurt
yourself putting it bak together.
* dont miss him" * miss who * thought he was.
The sars you ant see are the hardest to heal.
* miss you a little" * guess you ould say" a little too muh" a little too often" and a little
more eah day.
!ometimes the person you really need is the one you didnt think you wanted.
* thought when love for you died" * should die.*ts dead. ,lone" most strangely" * live on.
There is only one kind of love" but there are a thousand imitations.
!ometimes * wish * were a little kid again" skinned knees are easier to fi. than broken
*t takes a ouple seonds to say 4ello" but forever to say 9oodbye.
>ust give me time and *ll get over you.
3ove is like the truth" sometimes it prevails" sometimes it hurts.
3ove is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.
Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
$elationships are like glass. !ometimes its better to leave them broken than try to hurt
yourself putting it bak together.
(hen * see you smile and know that it is not for me" that is when * will miss you the
3ove when you ant replae the memories of a person even after the years.
Love vs True Love
Love is just love; you can love anyone, anything, even fall in love with someone and
once breakup, feel apart for a week maybe a month then move on and fall in love
again thats what mere love is. True love is a mystery, a myth, a wish of each one of
us but fate of very few. When you love someone regardless of what he looks like,
regardless of how many aws he have regardless of the fact that he loves you back
or not, all you can do is keep loving and loving, the feeling only increases, true love
is when you !nd a reason to smile, a reason to live for, a reason to die for.
"uestions about love, lust, !rst love, second love and of course the one and only
true love are timeless #uestions totally judgmental based on ones own perception,
but these mysteries have consumed the mankind since ages , its a major theme in
movies, literature, art, scriptures and tales from myth. Love is a feeling one can
have for anyone at any part of ones life. Love is not distinctive, love is not
di$erentiating, and love is just mere love feeling of a$ection, likeness, infatuation,
attraction, all together can be love. Love has many faces, you love your family and
friends that is another thing, and you are in love with your girl%boyfriend or
signi!cant half that is again entirely another thing. Love asks for love in return but
true love is divine, out of the world and rare. True love doesnt ask for anything in
return, it has more aspect of a$ection, care and partnership forever. True love has
no end, rather than fading away with age and time it only increases
&eing in love with someone makes you conscious of yourself how you look like, you
tend to worry if your body is out of shape, it is a happy feeling, trying to look good
for certain someone, trying to be good to certain someone, trying to be there for
certain someone but when in true love you dont 'try, you dont need to try,
everything comes straight from the heart, well true love takes ages to develop it is
a divine feeling free of all worries. True love means sincerity, loyalty, being totally
committed to this one person for the rest of your life, someone without you cant
even imagine living, that someone if gone you tend to lose meaning in life you
forget to smile and live just for the sake of living. Love one can let go , move on ,
!nd new second love, but true love means dedication , you would be ready to
sacri!ce even your life for that special someone. &ut that special someone wont let
you because he%she reciprocates your feeling in every way when true love really is
there you dont need the feeling to dress up and feel insecure looks dont matter,
words lose meaning, butteries dont utter in your stomach in true love, electric
charge doesnt lighten up your body on a mere touch, that maybe lust or love, true
love is companionship in every sense possible. (n true love you tend to develop a
spiritual connection between each other and a feeling of contentment. )
*i$ +
Diference Between Working and Personal Relationships
Working vs Personal Relationships
,an is a social animal and loves to make relations in all situations of life. This is true
both at home as well as at workplace. Without relations, it is hard to imagine our
e-istence. We are father, brother, husband, boss, employee, and mush more in a
family or at work. The moment we are born, we !nd ourselves in a web of
relationships whether or not we like it. .owever, the relationships at work are totally
di$erent from personal relationships. This article attempts to highlight these
di$erences so as to enable readers to try to keep relationships at both places happy
and manageable.
(t is when relationships become di/cult to navigate we start to think about them.
0therwise, when the sailing is smooth, we hardly pay attention to it, which is the
cause of relationships going sour or full of stress later on. The relationships within
family members are personal relationships while those that are formed between
colleagues and boss and employees are called working relationships. The relation
between teacher and students is also referred to as working relationship. The
situation becomes di/cult when your friend at a work place tries to behave like
your brother or your mother that you feel su$ocated in the relationship.
The cru- of the problem is the human nature to form relationships at all times and
places. Whether at work or even in a classroom, we tend to make relations with
others as we are comfortable perceiving ourselves in relationships.
The basic di$erence between working relationship and personal relationship is the
intimacy or the level of intimacy that people can show. (n a personal relationship,
one can be as sweet or rude as he can be depending upon his mood. .owever,
working relationships are more formal, and people tend to behave in more or less
same fashion all the time. 1onversations in working relationships are more
businesslike and mostly polite. 0n the other hand, personal relationship talks are as
varied as the relation and one can see a wide spectrum of conversations in husband
wife relationship. 2ead more ...
Summary : 3eople can get very personal in a personal relationship while talks
remain formal in a working relationship. .owever, situation turns tricky when
relatives are found working closely at a workplace. This is when there has to be a
distinction between personal relationships and working relationships. (f husband and
wife happen to be working in the same company, they need to keep their personal
relation outside the work place to be happy while in the o/ce. 4imilarly, such
people should not bring their working relationships at home and should change the
tone and tenor once they are at home.
Things !ot To Tell "our Parents #$out "our Boy%riend
" Your family is almost always happy when you're in a happy relationship.
But there are certain details about your beau that veer squarely into TMI
and don't need to be shared. "
0ne of my college friends just told me she5d had an 6overshare6 moment with her
parents yesterday. 4he was !lling them in on the guy she is seeing casually 7 he5s
an ama8ing musician and a really incredible person all around. &ut she happened to
mention that he has a few tattoos and one nipple piercing. &y the way they reacted,
she told me, you5d think he was a card9carrying communist or something. 4o she
was really bummed, but she did e-press relief that she hadn5t said something like, hands are deceptively small.6 .a:
4o ( asked my mom what else a parent would not want to hear about her daughter5s
boyfriend. 4he gave me the following a list. ; parent would not be happy knowing <
That he5s ever had an addiction.
That he cheated on his e-.
That he also likes guys.
That he believes in something strange like e-tra terrestrials.
That he plays video games => hours%week.
That he has 8ero ambition.
That he talks to his mom twice a day )because that means you will never be ?= and
the mom will be a wedge )mama is hard to give up+. ) +
That he is estranged from his parents )because if things are so bad that he can5t be
near them, then there is hurt and baggage. @ven if it5s not his fault, there will be
What is Love &
What is love' ;sk any number of people, and their will no doubt be poetic, full of
imagery and loose metaphor. (ndeed, love is primarily just a word invented by
humans to describe an emotion, and so by its very nature is eternally di/cult to
describe. &ut, despite of this there is some science behind it all. ;nd chemical
imbalances in your brain are often to blame for the joy and ecstasy you may feel
whilst being 5in love5. Love is thought to develop over a series of 5stages5. These
stages areA
B Lust
B ;ttraction
B ;ttachment
Lust is there to help e-pose people to others, and is the initial se-ual desire. (t
promotes mating on a very instinctive level, and involves the a heightened release
of chemicals such as testosterone in males and estrogen in females. The initial
e$ects of lust don5t very often last longer than a few weeks or months, before the
more speci!c attraction sets in.
#ttraction is a lot more speci!c to an individual and marks the start of a romantic
desire for a particular person with regards to their candidacy for partnership. (t
develops out of lust as commitment to an individual partner e-pands. 4tudies have
shown that as a relationship develops and people start to fall in love, the brain
releases a steady stream of chemicals including dopamine, pheromones, serotonin,
and norepinephrine. These chemicals act in a manner similar to that of
amphetamines, stimulating the brain5s pleasure centers, leading to side e$ects such
as a loss of appetite, an intense feeling of e-citement, and an increased heart rate.
These !rst two 5stages5 of love are considered temporary, and so the third one,
attraction, is deemed to be needed in order to for long9term relationships. *uring
attachment, a bond forms that helps to promote relationships the could go on to
last for many years and even decades. The attachment is based on commitments 9
commitments such as marriage and children 9 or mutual friendships based on
shared interests etc. .igher levels of chemicals like vasopressin and o-ytocin have
been linked more to long9term relationships as opposed to short9term relationships.
0f course, the above 5stages5 refer to interpersonal love. That is, the love between
two human beings. &ut we can also be said to love objects, goals, or principles if we
value them greatly and are deeply committed to it, which is known as an
impersonal love.) +
Some (ther De)nes o% Love :
Love is a force that draws one to another, creating a feeling of happiness and
pleasure, and desire to share feelings and e-periences. (t is often spawned
from an initial feeling of attraction, but ultimately is fueled by feelings of a
bond between the two. Love need not be returned, unlike friendship. 0ne can
love another and the other feeling at all drawn to the one in love. Love can
hurt as bad as anything imaginable. Love is not for the weak of heart, it can
take all your strength to endure loving someone who does not love you.
Love is an intangible thing. 3eople should probably not put too much faith or
belief in love because love is not something that they can touch and faith and
belief is needed in something that cannot be tested or e-plored
pragmatically. Love doesn5t actually e-ist. Love is just a word that means a
sum of many things. (t can encompass friendship, kinship, se-ual lust, mental
connection, physical connection and a bond. The word love is without value.
Love is an emotional attachment between two individual which rests on
sentiments, trust, love , a$ection, a sort of emotional dependency,
e-pectations and many more. There is four di$erent typed of loveA
*ros 9 Love for your boyfriend%girlfriend%husband%wife
#gape 9 Cnconditional love
Storge 9 Love for animals or things
Philia 9 Love for family and friends.
We all love... &ut sometimes we don5t even reali8e it A+
Love is blindness.
Love is like an eternal ame,0nce it is lit, it will continue to burn for all
time.Love isn5t blind, it just only sees what matters.Love is a moment that
lasts forever.
Love is the greatest ine$ability in the globe.
(t is, above all, Dod5s benefaction to mankind.
(t is hard to de!ne, philosophers and poets like to probe.
The easiest way to describe are two hearts combined.
The foremost precedence is to love your 1reator,
The arduous task is to cherish your antagonist,
; person who has no sense of adoration is a traitor,
(t belongs to everybody not just protagonist.
The essence of love is kindness,
; lovable person is always solicitous.
;bsence of amorousness is harshness.
The e-istence of fondness is felicitous.
The #uintessence of a$ection is veracity.
The intention of love is familiarity.
Cse the heart to achieve capacity.
3eople involved should live in prosperity.
(f you love other, you do seless thing.
Eou do thing which do not bene!t your satisfaction.
(t is not how long you mutually cling.
&ut how much love you put into action.
Love vs +riendship
Love is when you feel like you are the only two around. Eou forgets everything
whenever you meets your soul mate.
Friendship is a #uiet walk in the park with the one you trust most.
Love is when they ga8e into your eyes and it warms your heart.
Friendship is when they look into your eyes and you know they care.
Love is when you can still feel their presence in your heart when they are not near .
you want to see your mate again and again. Eou want to talk again and again.
Friendship is being close even when you are far apart.
Love occupies your soul .
Friendship occupies GH of your heart .
Love is when you will give up everything to be at their side .
Friendship is knowing that you will always try to be there when in need
Love Ieeds 1ommitments or compromises .
Friendship is Io complaints no demands.
Love a relation with no bounds.
Friendship is when you keep yourself in certain limits .
Love when you do anything for your sweetheart at any cost.
Friendship Eou just try your best .
Love when you can5t replace the memories of a person even after the years.
Friendship when you both never change even after the years.
Love is a warming touch that sends a pulse through your heart
Love is a beautiful smile to which nothing compares
; tender laugh, which opens your heart
; single touch that melts away your fears
; smell that reminds you of the tenderness of heaven
; voice that reminds you of the innocence of youth
Friendship is a warm smile in the winter
Love cannot live without friendship .
Friendship can survive without love .
"our Presence : The Love Poem
,y joy knows no bounds
When you appear before me
Eour presence !lls me
With an everlasting happiness
ah ...1an5t hold my heart for long
To reach to your heart
,y eyes ever keep waiting
To see you
0h your tantali8ing touch
&rings a sensation
(n my heart
(t5s a pure relation
That will remain till eternity .
1onfusion A The Love 3oem
/y knees start to shake
(hen you're in sight
/y mind's filled with wonder
/y heart with fright
(hen will this feeling stop%
(hen did it start %
4ow an * listen to my mind
(ithout breaking my heart%
* am so onfused
(hat should * do %
* an't think of anything
).ept of you
!hould * ignore you%
'r +ust give this time%
* an't think straight
/y heart ontrols my mind F
, tips on surviving a long distance relationship
Being in a long7distane relationship an be tough" espeially if the two of you live in two
different ountries. But thanks to the latest developments in tehnology" surviving in a long7
distane relationship has never been so easy.
(hether you are urrently in a long7distane relationship" or if you and your signifiant other are
going to be living apart for the ne.t little while" here are five tips on how to maintain a healthy
long7distane relationshipG
1. Skype or Gtalk
!kype or 9talk is one of the best ways to talk to your loved one fae to fae while you are apart
via video hat. Hot only an you see the other person's fae" you an also show eah other
different pro+ets you are working on" an outfit you reently purhased" or your new home if you
happen to be living one for the ne.t little while.
2. Keep a daily schedule
Before you start your long7distane relationship it may be a good idea to sit down and disuss
what time of the day the two of you will plan to talk on !kype or on the phone. =eeping up a
daily shedule is one of the best ways to keep your relationship strong so that way the two of you
an prove how ommitted you are to eah other by writing daily messages or talking on !kype
every afternoon or evening.
3. Be honest
'ne of the worst things you an do to your long7distane relationship" or any relationship for that
matter" is to start onealing what you plan on doing or what you did the night before. This of
ourse may seem fairly obvious" but it an't be stressed enough.
4. ell the! e"erythin#
,nother great way to maintain a long7distane relationship is to make your signifiant other feel
as if they know more about your life than you do. Tell them every little detail of your day" how
you are feeling at that partiular moment" or what your plans are for tomorrow. This way when
the two of you get off the phone it will feel as if they are there with you for every step of the day.
$. e%tin#
Before the two of you separate make sure you ontat your ell phone ompany to set up a great
te.ting plan. Te.ting is a great way to improve ommuniation beause you an send eah other
a word or two whenever something signifiant happens throughout the day and you're not at your
omputer to write them an e7mail or a message. This of ourse depends on where the two of you
are living and how e.pensive the ell phone plan is" but desperate times all for desperate
measures.? /ore on
The -irl That.s /ust a +riend
Love Problem #1G Iou find out your boyfriend has been talking to another girl when he isnt
with you. (hen you ask him about it" he says shes +ust a friend and nothing is going on. Iou tell
him youre unomfortable with this" and he says you are being paranoid. Despite this" you
suddenly feel as if you ant trust him.
The tendency in this situation is to doubt your feelings of mistrust. Eou might
think since your boyfriend hasnt slept with the girl, he isnt doing anything
wrong. &ut be wary of the guy that goes on the o$ensive the minute you
e-press your concern with something hes doing. (f he says, JEoure being
paranoid,K JEoure just jealous,K or JWhat ( do on my own time is my
businessK he isnt answering your #uestion. 1ouples should be able to talk
about things. (f he refuses to discuss your concerns, move on to someone
who knows how to be a good partner.
0n a 1olding Pattern
Love Problem #2: Iouve been with your girlfriend for four years" and you want to get married.
!he keeps putting you off" saying shes not ready. )ah time you bring it up" she says maybe you
two should see other people. Ioure still in the relationship but wonder when youll finally be
able to walk down the aisle with her.
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When two people have dated a while its natural to discuss the ne-t step. (f
you tell someone where youd like the relationship to go, and they respond
with a suggestion that you break up or take time apart, you have your
answer. Iever stay with someone that isnt sure about you. (f your partner
asks for time apart, give it to them, and use that time to !nd someone who
has the same life goals as you do.
The Reappearing *2
Love Problem #3G Iouve dated your girlfriend for almost a year" and you thought things were
going great. !uddenly she tells you she wants out of the relationship. (hen you ask why she +ust
says" J*t isnt working out.K *t takes you a month to stop thinking about her onstantly" and
another two before youre ready to date again. >ust when youve found a new girl you like" she
shows up at your door and wants a seond hane. !eeing her again brings bak all the old
feelings of love you had. (hat should you do%
The problem in this situation is that she never told you e-actly why she left in
the !rst place. Was she boredL *id she meet someone newL &efore you can
reconcile, she needs to give you a few answers. Eou should also be
circumspect about her timing. 4ome folks fall into the J( dont want him but
dont want anyone else to have him eitherK routine. When she reali8ed you
were over her, it was a blow to her ego. The best plan is to move ahead, so if
there is someone new youve started dating, stay with her. Tell the e- that
she was right; things werent working out between you two. When a
relationship isnt right, it must be wrong.