Course 1

Rediscovering Your
e-Book / Course Transcription
Author: Domonique Bertolucci
Course 1: Rediscovering Your Dreams
Hello I’m Domonique Bertolucci. Welcome to the Your Best Life self-coaching
Right now you are listening to Course 1 – Rediscovering Your Dreams.
irst lets tal! a"out how to ma!e the most of this course. #ach course contains an
mp$ recor%ing& li!e the one you are listening to now.
#ach recor%ing runs for a"out '( minutes an% is %esigne% to feel )ust li!e a coaching
session. *here will "e times when I’m %oing the tal!ing& as!ing you questions an%
sharing my insights& as well as plenty of time for you to "e thin!ing an% %ocumenting
your responses. You might want to listen to this recor%ing a couple of times& perhaps
the first time )ust to get a gist of it all& may"e e+en on your i,o%& or whilst %ri+ing
the car.
*hen listen to it in more %etails to wor! through all the e-ercises& an% participate
fully. inally& you might want to listen to it )ust one more time to ma!e sure that
there isn’t anything you’+e misse%.
#ach course also comes with a full transcription of the recor%ings as an e-"oo!& so
you can rea% through e+erything that was sai%. You will also recei+e a wor!"oo!& to
wor! through your answers from the recor%ings as well as any a%%itional actions I’+e
set an% a calen%ar to !eep trac! of your progress.
Why not get a file so you can !eep all your wor!"oo!s together. You will "e ama.e%
to see how much progress you’+e ma%e "y the time you ha+e finishe% all the courses
in the program.
/o lets "egin.
0re you still in touch with your %reams1 Do you !now what your %reams are for your
life& for your relationship& for your health an% well"eing& your career& or your finance1
2r %o you fin% that when you3re as!e% to consi%er your %reams& you )ust feel %usty
an% all you can come up with is the i%ea that you might one %ay wor! through the
things on your to %o list an% then ha+e a chance of what your %reams really are.
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Course 1: Rediscovering Your Dreams
What were going to %o on this call is get ri% of some of the things& some of the
o"stacles that get in the way of our %reams. 0n% then focus on re%isco+ering our
%reams& an% setting some goals that will help us mo+e closer towar%s those %reams
for our life.
irst what I want to %o is e-plain to you or highlight to you the %ifference "etween
our %reams an% our fantasies. ,eople tal! a"out ha+ing %reams& "ut we’re not really
willing to %o anything a"out achie+ing those %reams. I say that it’s pro"a"ly a
fantasy that you3re en)oying.
Li!ewise people often consi%er something they’% li!e to e-perience in their life& "ut
they woul%n’t really want to accept that e-perience with the full consequences that
go with it. 0gain& I woul% suggest that that is a fantasy.
0nother way that you can i%entify or %ifferentiate "etween your %reams an% your
fantasies is to consi%er your +alues. /omething may well "e a fantasy& if you fin% that
it’s in conflict with your +alues. You actually "egin to feel compromise% if you %i%
wor! towar%s achie+ing that fantasy.
Let me gi+e you a couple of e-amples for each of those points.
When I was a teenager& I ha% a %ream of "eing an actress. I thought it was a %ream.
It’s only when I %i% some stu%y in acting that I %isco+ere% what I was really hol%ing
onto was a fantasy. 0n% I actually wasn’t willing to wor! towar%s that %ream. I %i%n’t
li!e the o%%s& "ut more importantly I %i%n’t really li!e the i%ea of wor!ing on the
same scene o+er an% o+er again or perhaps wor!ing on the same performance night
after night after night. #+entually& something I was a"le to see was "eing an actress
was a fantasy that I hel%4 something that I en)oye% thin!ing a"out an% fantasising
a"out& "ut actually was ne+er really a %ream of mine an% not something I was really
willing to wor! for an% to en)oy with its full consequences.
0nother story a"out fantasy that I always li!e to share is the one a"out my client
You may remem"er 5eorge from Your Best Life. 5eorge ha% a fantasy tra+elling the
worl% an% "eing met "y a %ifferent la%y in e+ery port. But the truth was happily
marrie%& an% as much as he wante% to tra+el& he !new that if he were to "e met "y a
© Domonique Bertolucci 2010 |
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%ifferent la%y at e+ery port& he’% "e most %efinitely in conflict with his +alues an%
en%ing his marriage woul% "e a consequence he woul%n’t really en)oy.
What I’% li!e you to %o as our first e-ercise for this call& is thin! a"out something you
may ha+e once %reamt of that you’+e either since ha+e %isco+ere% was a fantasy& or
that on reflection right here an% now you can ac!nowle%ge isn’t really a %ream it’s a
fantasy. 0n% the way that you’ll %etermine whether something is a %ream or a
fantasy is to as! yourself 60m I really willing to wor! for it1 Do I accept this
e-perience with its full consequences& an% will ha+ing this e-perience in my life "e in
enlightenment or in conflict with my +alues1’
I’ll gi+e you a few moments to thin! a"out that.
I always fin% it to "e quite confronting& realising that something that you3+e "een
%reaming a"out really is )ust a fantasy. *hen we ha+e two choices. We can spen% our
life fantasising a"out something that were not really willing to wor! for& an% willing to
li+e with the fill consequences or that woul% lea+e us in conflict with our +alues& an%
yet we still har! for that. 2r we ha+e to let it go& or refine it in some way to create
something that really is something we’% "e willing to wor! for an% ha+e in our life.
Before we loo! at what your %reams really are& an% what you really woul% li!e to
ha+e in your life& woul% you "egin to consi%er where your %reams go1 0n% where %i%
the time we ha+e from %reaming go1 I’m sure you can remem"er "ac! to chil%hoo%
an% thin! of how much time you spent %reaming& an% how easy it was to %ream. 0ll
the time we spent %ay%reaming an% li+ing a%+entures an% ha+ing fantasies an%
refining those %reams.
What I’% li!e you to %o ne-t is your ne-t action for this call. 7ast your min% "ac! to
chil%hoo%. I thin! eight or nine is a great age. Ha+e a loo! at what some of the
%reams you ha% then for life. Don3t worry& I’m not going to hol% you to those %reams
an% say 6Loo!& as an a%ult your life is a %ismal failure "ecause you3re not the person
you thought you’% "e at nine’. I )ust want you to get "ac! in touch with that chil%
who "elie+e% that anything was possi"le& an% who ha% the time an% the energy to
%ream without consequence an% fear.
I’m )ust going to gi+e you a couple of minutes to e-plore some of the %reams from
your chil%hoo%.
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Di% you unco+er some %reams you’% long forgotten1 Di% you get in touch with a little
"it of that chil%-li!e inspiration1
0s I sai% at the start of that e-ercise& I %on’t encourage you to loo! "ac! at %reams
you hel% as a chil% so you can criticise yourself& or I can say to you 6you3re life isn’t
what it shoul% "e& your ha+en’t "ecome the person you wante% to "e at nine’ not at
all. But when we were young we spent so much time %reaming4 %reaming of the
future& possi"ilities& %reaming of our first !iss an% so on. 0n% that3s something we3+e
really lost the art of as a%ults.
2ne of the most important things you nee% to %o if you want to re%isco+er your
%reams& is actually fin% the time to %ream. We nee% to fin% a time to %ream. While
you3re rushing aroun% wor!ing through your en%less to-%o list& there isn’t any space&
any mental R08& for your %reams to %e+elop an% unfol%. /o often we spen% all of our
time in company& in soun% or with music going on& or with the hustle "ustle all
aroun% us. In or%er to "e a"le to %ream we nee% to spen% some time in silence.
What I want you to thin! of now are three things you coul% %o each wee! you coul%
%o %ifferently& that woul% help you access some silent %reaming time. I’m not saying
you nee% to clear your %iary for an hour an% sit %own an% me%itate. You coul% fin%
this time in as little as ten minute increments. But the time nee%s to "e spent in
silence& an% without %istraction. 9ust "ecause you sit in front of the *: "ut the *: is
on mute& that %oesn’t count. Ha+ing a cup of tea with a maga.ine might "e rela-ing&
"ut the maga.ine is in front of you as a %istraction. #-ercising at the gym& "ut with
8*: or 7;; playing or listening to your i,o%& again& that’s not the type of time I’m
tal!ing a"out. I’m not tal!ing a"out general rela-ation time. I’m tal!ing a"out a +ery
specific !in% of rela-ation time& which is fin%ing the time to %ream. We nee% to "e
fin%ing that time in a minimum of ten minute increments. I; a perfect worl%& you’%
"e a"le to fin% thirty minutes each an% e+ery %ay. You coul% en)oy in silence& an% you
coul% use to spen% the time %reaming.
But what I want you to aim for is a minimum of one hour a wee!. /o for si- %ays out
of se+en& we’re aiming to fin% ten minutes. 2ne %ay a wee! fin%ing half an hour& an%
then on another three %ays fin%ing ten minutes.
Whiche+er way you choose to split it& it’s really important if you want to "e a"le to
re%isco+er& e-plore& an% go on to create the life of your %reams that you allow some
time for %reaming.
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What I want you to %o ne-t is thin! of three things you coul% %o %ifferently& or three
opportunities you ha+e to fin% the time to %ream in your wee!. Remem"er& were
loo!ing for as little as ten minutes a %ay& aiming to create a minimum of one hour a
wee!. In an i%eal worl%& thirty minutes a %ay. But let’s start with something that we
!now is achie+a"le& an% loo! for a minimum of ten minutes a %ay an% a total an hour
a wee!. I’ll gi+e you a few minutes to consi%er your %iaries an% consi%er your wee!&
an% thin! a"out what it is that you coul% %o %ifferently& so that you can fin% some
time to %ream.
Di% you %isco+er some times for %reaming4 ten minutes a %ay& an hour a wee!1 It’s
really not that har% if you commit to it. Let me gi+e you a couple of i%eas that wor!
for me.
I wal! to wor!& an% I wal! to wor! in silence. I %on’t listen to my i,o%. I %on’t get on
my telephone. I often get on the telephone I a%mit on the way home from wor!& "ut
on the way to wor! I wal! to wor! in silence. It ta!es me <= minutes& an% I use that
time to %ream.
0nother great way you can %isco+er time to %ream is to stop watching tele+ision& or
at least stop watching tele+ision as an en%less source of rela-ation. Instea%&
consciously choose what programs you’% li!e to watch an% allow some time in your
e+ening for %reaming. ,erhaps instea% of watching a mur%er mystery or a crime
program& you coul% actually "e %reaming a"out a "lissful life an% the future you’% li!e
to create.
0nother great way you can fin% some time to %ream is to get out ten minutes earlier&
or go to "e% ten minutes later. 0n% )ust use that time to sit quietly an% contemplate
your i%eal future.
I hope those i%eas ha+e gi+en you a little inspiration. I’m going to gi+e you one more
minute to see where you3re going to i%entify an% %isco+er your time for %reaming.
Let’s ta!e a moment to loo! at another way that %reams can %isappear in our li+es.
>uiet often what happens is we hol% a %ream of how something coul% "e in our life&
an% then at the +ery first %isappointment& temporary failure& or lac! of instant
success& we gi+e up on that %ream. We a"an%on our %ream instea% of hol%ing our
%reams %ear to our heart an% wor!ing passionately towar%s it& people say 6I trie%& I
%i%n’t succee%& my %ream wasn’t meant to "e’. *hat3s not the case at all. If you want
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to achie+e your "est life& you nee% to "e willing to wor! for your %reams& to fight for
your %reams& to hol% onto your %reams an% to hol% that space e+en when the going
gets tough. I’m a "ig "elie+er in learning from e-perience. /o what I’% li!e you to %o
now is to ta!e a minute or two to thin! a"out a %ream you3+e gi+en up on& that now
with the wis%om of hin%sight& you can see you may not ha+e nee%e% to gi+e up on it
after all. Loo! "ac! through your past an% consi%er a %ream you may ha+e once hel%
that you3+e gi+en up on& that actually in all your wis%om you !now you %i%n’t nee% to
gi+e up on that %ream4 you chose to gi+e up "ecause the first hur%le you
encountere% or the first %isappointment you e-perience%& or the first signs of success
were not going to "e smooth an% easy for you.
I’ll gi+e you a minute to consi%er a %ream you may ha+e let %ie.
It’s interesting what we can %isco+er when we reflect& isn’t it1 I passionately "elie+e
that e+ery"o%y can achie+e the life of their %reams. But you really ha+e to "e willing
to wor! for it. If you3re willing to commit time& money& or energy to your %reams& or
all three& you nee% to "e willing to "elie+e in yourself an% "elie+e in your %ream. 2n
top of all of that& you nee% to ta!e the time to %isco+er what your %reams are.
;ow let’s mo+e into the secon% part of this call& an% start to re%isco+er what some of
your %reams are. I’m going to as! you a series of questions an% I’m going to gi+e
you some thin!ing time "etween each question.
You may li!e to use the time to write %own what you3re thin!ing. 2thers of you will
en)oy )ust closing your eyes an% seeing what thoughts come to your min%. You may
choose )ust to listen& an% instea% ta!e some time after the call to )ournal your
*he suggestion I’% ha+e for you& as the "est way to get the most out of the ne-t
e-ercise& woul% "e at least to )ot %own a few !eys wor%s so that you can remem"er it
afterwar%s. 2r if you %o listen to the call while %ri+ing or choose to %o it without pen
an% paper an% )ust quietly reflect& then listen to the call again an% replay this
segment an% then wor! through with pen in han%.
I want to as! you what your life woul% "e li!e if time& money& or energy were no
© Domonique Bertolucci 2010 |
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Course 1: Rediscovering Your Dreams
7onsi%er each %ifferent area of your life& an% wor! through that in a little "it of
• If time& money& or energy& were no o"stacle& what sort of lifestyle woul% you
"e en)oying1
• What woul% your health an% well-"eing "e li!e if time& money& or energy& were
no o"stacle1
• What woul% your career or mental stimulation aspect of your life "e li!e if
time& money& or energy& were no o"stacle1
• What woul% your financial position "e li!e1 Woul% you ha+e an in+estment
portfolio& sa+ings& woul% you "uy a house1 Woul% you finally get aroun% to
sen%ing in your ta- return1
• What woul% your financial position "e li!e if time& money& or energy& were no
o"stacle for you1
• ;ow I want you to consi%er all of the other aspects of your life. 7onsi%er your
relationships& tra+el plans& recreation& home& li+ing en+ironment. 7onsi%er
e+ery other aspect of your life& an% as! yourself what these aspects of your life
woul% "e li!e if time& money& or energy& were no o"stacle.
By now you shoul% ha+e ha% a chance to ha+e a really goo% loo! at what some of the
possi"ilities for your life may "e& an% what some of your %reams for your future
might "e.
What I want you to %o now is ta!e a loo! at what you3+e written %own or recap on
what you3+e consi%ere%& an% as! yourself 6Which of these things woul% I "e willing to
wor! for1 Which of these things woul% still "e in alignment with my +alues1 Which of
these things woul% I "e willing to accept in my life in their full consequence1’ What
I’m as!ing you is to )ust re+iew what you )ust sai% you’% lo+e to en)oy if time&
money& or energy were no o"stacle& an% )ust %o a quic! cull& incase there are any
fantasies in there4 things you woul%n’t really "e willing to wor! or& or en)oy in their
full consequence& or woul% lea+e you in conflict with your +alues.
*a!e a moment an% quic!ly )ust wor! through what you’+e consi%ere% so far an%
eliminate the fantasies.
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Course 1: Rediscovering Your Dreams
/o "y now you3+e spent quite a "it of thought on what your life coul% "e li!e& an%
what %reams you ha+e for your future& if you were to o+ercome time& money& or
energy ? things I call e-ternal o"stacles.
;ow I want you to consi%er some internal o"stacles. Internal o"stacles I’% li!e you to
consi%er are your limiting "eliefs& fears you may hol%& or a lac! of confi%ence or self-
"elief. 0n% this time I want you to as! yourself a %ifferent question.
*he question I want you to as! yourself is@ 6What woul% my life "e li!e if I "elie+e%
that anything is possi"le. What woul% my life "e li!e if I hel% no fear1 0n% what
woul% my life "e li!e if I ha% unlimite% self confi%ence an% self "elief’.
0n% what I want you to %o this time is re+iew all of the areas you3+e alrea%y written
all at once an% )ust see if you can turn things up a notch& an% can’t e-pan% on your
%reams if you o+ercome your limits& conquer your fears& an% "uil% your confi%ence.
I’ll gi+e you a full fi+e minutes to re+iew all of the notes you3+e written so far& all of
the thoughts you3+e ha% so far a"out each of those areas of your life an% you as!
yourself the question@
66What woul% my life "e li!e if I ha% unlimite% self-"elief& an% thought anything was
possi"le1 What woul% my life "e li!e if I hel% no fear an% I was a"le to conquer all my
fears1 0n% what woul% my life "e life if I ha% unlimite% self confi%ence an% self "elief4
I simply ne+er %ou"te% myselfA.
BY now I hope you3re feeling as so you ha+e re%isco+ere% some of your %reams. 0n%
you ha+e she% some of those internal or e-ternal o"stacles to %reams& "ecause so
often it’s so easy to let o"stacles li!e time& money& or energy& limiting "eliefs& fears or
lac! of confi%ence get in the way of our a"ility to %ream. I’m not suggesting for one
moment simply "y ha+ing a %ream it will ma!e those o"stacles %isappear. But what I
wante% to ma!e sure was that those o"stacles weren’t potential o"stacles4 weren’t
%ream inhi"itors. I wante% to ensure that those o"stacles weren’t inhi"iting your
a"ility to %ream.
2f course it woul%n’t "e a coaching call if I %i%n’t as! you to now commit to some
© Domonique Bertolucci 2010 |
age ( o! 1"
Course 1: Rediscovering Your Dreams
What I’% li!e you to %o& is loo! "ac! at all that you3+e "een thin!ing a"out o+er the
last == minutes& in terms of the %reams you coul% potentially ha+e for your future.
0n% I )ust want you to choose three actions. *hree things you can %o o+er the
coming month that woul% ta!e you closer to your %ream life.
;ow those three things might "e simple steps. *hey may "e things you %o to help
you access the time or the money or the energy you nee%. *hey may "e internal
wor! you nee% to %o on conquering your limiting "eliefs& or o+ercoming your fears
an% "oosting your confi%ence. 2r they may simply "e steps or tas!s towar%s an
ultimate goal that you3re wor!ing towar%s4 they may "e a"out putting a plan into
action& or ta!ing the time to create your plan. It %oesn’t matter what the action is& as
long as it’s ta!ing you closer to the life of your %reams.
*a!e a moment now to consi%er three actions you3re willing to commit to o+er the
coming months that will help you to achie+e the life of your %reams.
I’ll gi+e you three minutes to thin! a"out it.
I hope you3+e ha% the time to get "ac! in touch with some of your %reams& to
re%isco+er some of your %reams& an% most importantly& start to consi%er what
actions you might nee% to ta!e to actually start to "egin to li+e the life of your
I ha+e a few a%%itional actions I’% li!e to suggest for you to %o o+er the coming
irstly I’% li!e you to spen% a minimum of thirty minutes )ournaling or %ocumenting
what your %ream life woul% "e li!e. *a!e in the notes you ha+e from the call an%
fleshing those out in as much %etail as you can ? thirty minutes )ournaling your
%ream life. What I’% then li!e you to %o is i%entify the !ey elements of your %ream
life& an% to create an affirmation for those elements Ba statement that is positi+e&
present tense& an% is personalC4 one statement for each of the !ey elements of your
%ream life.
*he thir% thing I’% li!e you to %o& is for each of those !ey elements of your %ream life
i%entify three actions that you can ta!e. 0ll of those actions %on’t nee% to "e ta!en in
the ne-t wee! or month. I’m simply as!ing you to i%entify three steps that you can
© Domonique Bertolucci 2010 |
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Course 1: Rediscovering Your Dreams
ta!e that woul% i%entify to you that this %ream is a possi"ility& that this future can "e
a reality.
*he final tas! I’% li!e to suggest for you is to commit to fin%ing some more time to
%ream. Your target shoul% "e minimum increments of ten minutes. I%eally& a
minimum of ten minutes a %ay or a target of an hour a wee!.
Don’t forget there are lots of other courses to help you to really li+e your "est life& so
until ne-t time ta!e care an% remem"er that real success is not a"out ha+ing it all&
its a"out ha+ing the things that matter.
© Domonique Bertolucci 2010 |
age 1* o! 1"

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