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Worth it

Dear World, Ok...this may take some explaining. I’m a Slayer, a Vampire Slayer to be exact. Before you jump to any weird conclusions let me clear some things up:No, I’m not joking No, I’m not crazy Yes, Vampires are real Yes, I do mean the blood sucking, black clad, gothic and dark Vampires portrayed in your fiction. (Well...most of them) Yes, I’ve killed them. Often more than twice a night I have had to wipe ash off of me. Yes, I use stakes. And no, I’m really not joking. Believe me? Of course you don’t. One of the things I do thank them for is for not letting us watch T.V; every person from the ‘real’ world I’ve met doesn’t believe me. “Are you crazy?” I hear. “We would have known about it.” But no, you wouldn’t; it’s against the law to be in contact with the outside world, I’m breaking the law right now in writing this. I wouldn’t risk it like this, but I’ve already broken the most unbreakable and vital rule in my world: ALWAYS kill Vampires. But you see I couldn’t do it, I’ve killed so many but then I let this one go. Well I did a bit more than that. And I really needed to tell someone who won’t kill me on the spot. You are that person, whoever you are, please listen to my story. I’ll tell it as it unfolds because I really don’t know if I’ll live to write another word as it is, so if I stop writing...well I won’t tell you but it is pretty bad.

It started in the Graveyard, one great cliché; I’m running through the darkness surrounded by looming graves, the moonlight glints off them eerily, I’m on hot pursuit of the enemy, hell I’m even wearing black. It started in the graveyard, but it BEGAN with a kiss. Let me tell you the story of my life.

Ok it was more than a kiss
I ran, severing and weaving my way through the old, grey gravestones. I gently slowed to a stop. Damn. I thought. Lost him. I breathed out slowly, I didn’t like this job. Huh, job; like I got paid. Or had a choice, I just had the skills so this is what I did. Everyone takes an exam at the age of 6 to see if we were slayers or civilians, I had passed with a record time and 100%. I had never lost a Vampire, until recently. I had been losing more and more as I got older. But I still slew more than even the elders, I was a natural. I just despised killing. Still, at least I killed to stop killing, which was good right? A swish of movement ahead caught my attention. Hah, stupid Vampire had come back to see if I was still here. What was the point in that? To put his life at more risk? I silently shifted my weight, poised to jump if he was stupid enough to check all the way back here. The figure continued to come closer to my hiding place. Just a few more steps this way and I had an easy target. The clouds shifted and sent a ray of reflected light right down on him. I gasped quietly, it was a common myth that all Vampires were gorgeous but I knew from experience that their looks depended on what they had looked like before, the process of becoming a Vampire didn’t automatically make you stunning. True, there was that feeling of dark attraction that I felt towards someone who could kill so mercilessly and proficiently. But this Vampire was attractive, excessively so.

He jumped at my gasp, looking right at me and ruining the element of surprise. Acting on my training I leapt, I landed directly on top of him, pushing him down to the ground and straddling across his chest, my stake hovered in my hand above his heart. I was used to this, witnessing the last moments of thought flicker across their faces. I had only ever seen two expressions: Anger and Acceptance. This was different. Sheer terror crossed his face and his eyes widened with fear. I was almost flattered that such a powerful being should fear me, a mere 14 year old girl. “Please,” He whispered. “Don’t kill me, I’m not like the others, I don’t drink blood.” I laughed. “Do you think you’re the first to try that out on me?” “Probably not, go on then kill me.” He said and then added. “It was only a matter of time before I slipped up again.” “Oh, pretending to be willing to sacrifice yourself for the human race. You’re clever.” “And you’re hesitating.” He said, a hint of a smile plying at his lips. I was hesitating, this was extremely dangerous but what if he was telling the truth? This wasn’t my mistake to make; I brought the stake up high and almost put it into his heart. He brought one of his hands up to the stake. “Please,” His voice was pleading but I could hear pain in it thanks to the fact that it hurt Vampires to touch stakes. His hand was on my weapon but he didn’t have enough strength to move it. This was my decision. And I decided to do probably the most stupid thing that I could; I threw away the stake and brought my lips to his. I didn’t know why. Now I was in the hands of a Vampire, completely weapon less. He would crush me. He was still kissing me but I knew it was only a distraction so that I wouldn’t grab my stake and do my job. He moved so that now I was underneath him. This was it; he would rip my body to shreds. Instead he kept kissing me, my lips, my jaw, my throat. Oh, so that was his plan. He was going to suck out my blood. Again he just kept kissing me, and I him. He began to take off my clothes, pushing me against an old gravestone. This was something I’d never dreamed of. Utterly unimaginable. You

couldn’t even sleep with civilians if you were a female Slayer, you would get punished. I could get killed for this. If I survived that is. But I really didn’t care about anything. I was about to lose my virginity to a Vampire in a graveyard and I didn’t give a shit.

That was how it began. Ok so it was a bit more than a kiss. After we’d done I stayed in his arms. I think we were both too scared to sleep; either one of us could have killed the other at any point. He left just before the sun came up. I got dressed and went back to my dorm in the building of Slayers. And now I’m in the library hacking on to the internet breaking the law for the second time in 24 hours to post this blog. I’ve got no idea what will happen now. But I’m going to make this a regular thing; I’ll try to write every week. I hope someone reads this, I need advice, desperately. If anyone’s got any ideas about what I should do please comment ‘cause I’ve got no clue. Oh I haven’t introduced myself; the name the Slayers gave me is Eva. That’s it, no surname. I’m just Eva the greatest Slayer on the Island. But soon I’m sure I’ll be nothing more than an unmarked grave. Hell, what would they put on it anyway? If I had a grave it’d say this: Eva. A Vampire Slayer. ‘Cause that’s all I am.

Dear World, If you’re to understand anything I mention then I think there are some things I should tell you about.

We, that is us Slayers, rule the Island on the bases that we protect the citizens of it. Oh yeah, the Island’s name is Evasdale (I think they named me after it for some reason) but most people call it E or Great E or Mother E. I once heard a Geography Teacher say that it was about the size of Wales but I don’t know where that is or how big. Maybe somebody could tell me? I’d like to know. Anyway, back to the Slayers. I think I already mentioned the exam taken by every 6 year old on the Island, that basically decides who gets to grow up a normal life with their parents and who gets whisked off to the cold, grey stoned University of Slaying. I was one of the “lucky” ones though I wouldn’t put it that way. I’d gladly swap with any civilian. I never even knew about the exam, it had just been another day; my parents dropped me off at school and I rushed over to my friends, I don’t even think I said goodbye, I thought the exam was good fun but I never saw my parents again, I don’t remember them or my real name. I do remember the journey to the University was short so I must have lived quite near here. I often wonder if they had another child, I sometimes scout the new arrivals for possible Brothers or Sisters but I’ve been thinking less and less about that recently, until today. A new bus load of kids arrived today and amongst them was this little girl who was the spitting image of my file picture when I was 6. I know this week I’ve already risked everything, alright so maybe I’ve risked everything a few times, but I had to do something. This is what I did, risk number three:

Strike three
I was sitting outside, reading about punishments for breaking the rules and the oh-so-lovely descriptions and pictures had done nothing to calm me about the uh...graveyard incident, when a bus rolled up the drive. I glanced up to the line of excited/nervous infants, not really searching for any resemblance to me. I was about to return to my happy reading

when one of the kids caught my eye. My heart rate accelerated, she looked so much like my old profile picture. Have you gone insane? A voice in the back of my mind hissed. Kissing Vampires, Blogging online, searching for non-existent siblings. You are mentally unstable. I decided not to put my life at risk anymore. I would go inside and catch up on sleep. I almost did it, I almost did something clever and sensible and then the Master spotted me. The Master ran the University, he had once been tall and strong but in his old age he became almost more visibly frail every day. I knew him well and despite his elderly exterior his mind remained quick and young, he was not a man you wanted to cross. “Eva!” He yelled. “Come here. NOW!” My brain went into overdrive, this is it, he found out about the blogging or the kissing, he’s going to kill you in front of all these children to define the importance of following the rules. “Yes Master.” I said keeping it cool; maybe I could bluff my way out of it. That didn’t seem likely. “I need you and the others from your dorm to look after a child each whilst they get used to this,” I could have kissed him. No, that would have been gross, but you get the idea; I was relieved. But now I thought about it I’d never had a Slayer show me around, I was quite sure that it had been the Master himself who had shown the whole group around. “Yes Master, but what are we supposed to do with them?” “Oh I don’t know,” he barked. “Give them a new name, show them around, give them a shoulder to cry on. I DON’T CARE! JUST GET THEM OUT OF MY HAIR!” “Yes Master.” I said. I guess if I was the ever older ruler of the Island I would have more interesting things to do than show a bunch of newbies around. I had more important things to think about than snivelling children, like deadly kisses amongst (and with) the dead, so I

took them straight to the Dorm to assign them each a guardian instead of having to be responsible for all of them at once. I walked into the Dorm and called everyone out of bed. I hardly knew anything about the girls and guys in my Dorm except what I could gather from their individual areas. There was Anna who was lively and jumpy with a hot pink duvet cover. Treef was a silent, sombre guy who decorated his area with little pebbles from the beach, I don’t know why. Croy was good looking and a practical joker, his area was just a huge mess and a bed. Red was flirtatious and her area was covered with posters of half naked guys and littered with magazines sporting subtitles like “small island boys with BIG main lands”. Rillau was a quiet, shy type with a surprising amount of fight when faced with the un-dead; her area was neat and tidy. The beds went in order of rank with Rillau at the furthest end of the room, we were the best Slayers in the University who weren’t Elders and the by a happy coincidence the second best and therefore closest bed to mine was the only person I knew well; my best friend Rock. Rock wasn’t the fastest Slayer on the Island but he made up for it in strategy, he was constantly boasting that one day he would knock me off the top spot, his area was covered in art work that he’d done himself. As for my area, well until about 11 months ago it had been completely plain and then for my birthday last year Rock had stepped in; although it was still quite bare the duvet now held a large gothic ‘E’ that he had designed himself and on the wall hung one of my favourite paintings by him. It was a black background with a girl’s face half turned away from it, her face illuminated by fire light and her hair was all long curls and deep red. She was supposed to be me but I seemed to be the only one who couldn’t see it, she was stunning and I was just...me. Rock swore that we had come from the same school and it seemed possible but neither of us liked to talk about life before the University. I surveyed my Dorm as its occupants arose wearily. We were the cream of the faculty but we were, essentially, teenagers. Rillau was the youngest at only 13 and Croy was the oldest at 20. No one wanted to get up after a night up Slaying, Anna through a pillow at Red to wake her up.

Eventually I had a kind of line in front of me excluding Rock who was still snoring in his bed. I sighed and went to wake him up. His face was on the side of his pillow and his brown hair was a mess around his handsome features. “Oi!” I yelled in his face. “Get up!” He jumped backwards and pulled a stake out from under his pillow and lunged forward on instinct, I dodged it easily. “Are you going to slay me then Rock?” He groaned. “Eva, you scared the shit out of me!” He punched me lightly on the shoulder. “Whatever lovebirds, what’s with the ankle biters Eva?” Croy called. I went back to the middle of the room and told the group what they had to do. “That sucks!” Treef complained. “I don’t want to look after a kid!” “There’s eight of them and only seven of us,” Rillau said. “One of us will have to take two of them.” “Right then Rillau can take two.” Anna said matter-of-factly. Rillau was a safe bet as she wouldn’t complain but it wasn’t fair to dump it on her like that. “Right for that you can take two Anna.” I said sharply, everybody treated Rillau like this. “What! That’s not fair!” “Is it fair to dump it on them on Rillau?” “But she doesn’t care!” She whined. “Rill?” I addressed her. “Do you care?” “Umm...” She was hesitant with her reply but eventually she said: “I really don’t like kids that much.” “There we go then,” “How do we decide who gets which ones?” Treef wondered.

Rock began to assign them, picking the kids at random. He was about to assign the little red head to Rillau when I stepped in. “Hey,” I yelled at him. “I don’t recall giving you permission to step in. These are fresh students and need to be taught the importance of rank. I am in charge here and I give the orders.” It was a completely logical thing to do, rank described everything here; where you lived, what you ate, what allowance you had and what privileges you had. The whole dorm immediately snapped to attention, understanding what I was doing, but that wasn’t the reason I’d stopped him. Of course I had to go and make life just that little bit more complex for myself; I assigned myself the red head.

So you see, I really do set myself up to fail. I just can’t seem to go one day without making lifethreatening mistakes. Like when I’m slaying, for example, sometimes I catch myself making rookie mistakes deliberately just to make it more interesting. Is that stupid? Do any of you do stuff like that? Obviously not in the whole let’s-kiss-avampire way but in a normal way, I’d like to think I’m not the only one. Oh yeah, some of you asked about that last chapter and ranks so I’ll explain:Every few months we have an audit, almost like a contest, to see who the best slayers in the faculty are. Obviously the Elders are considered the best-so good they don’t actually have to work-but this measured among the “Working Slayers”. That’s us, about 5,000 of us. Only 900 live in the main university, there are others in different establishments all around E. We’re the most prestigious faculty and my dorm is the best, the very cream of the top slayers on the Island. I think I mentioned that I was in charge here, well I am. I’m at the very top, and boy is the view great! I’m

allowed unlimited currency. I can’t ever remember paying for anything in my life. There are rules; I’m not supposed to spend it on alcohol. But that’s a story for another time. I’ve got to go kick some Vamp arse now. I’ll write again next week. Eva

P.S Any questions feel free to contact me.

Dear world, Okay... this is going to take some explaining seeing as I can’t comprehend it myself yet. I’ll give it a go but it really is bizarre; right now, at the very moment I stop typing, I am preparing for a date. Shocking, I know. But that’s not the really bad part, the really bad part is this; it’s with Mark Gatesby, he’s a Vampire. Yeah, that wasn’t a miss type. Let me tell you the story.

“Hey! Eva!” Rock called me over, my head had been miles away. “Hey boy.” I called back as I walked over the sand to him. “Any chance of a brief or are you just going to page me and then keep me in the dark like the last time?” A wide grin spread on his face. “Come on, that was funny.” “Funny!? You had me chasing a group of the most powerful Vampires in town without knowing! I could have died!” “Never fear oh great Leader, I’ll tell you what’s going down this time.” I sat down on a nearby boulder. “Finally some respect,” I waved, mock-regally. “Continue, worker bee.”

Rock laughed, throwing a mock salute before flipping me the finger. “One day you’ll take the orders from me my friend. Anyway, usual story; a Vampire was out hunting and got stuck out after sunrise and now he’s haunting the Women’s changing rooms on the beach.” “Hmm, why do you need me for such a simple op?” “It’s a Woman’s changing room Eva, I can’t go in there.” I banged my head on the stone in desperation. “You’re the most spineless man I know. How do you maintain such a high position?” I hated simple jobs. I enjoyed high speed chases that lasted hours and long strategic plans that took weeks. What was the point of Slaying if you just kicked down the door of the Ladies loos and shoved some wood through a creature so pathetic it forgot to go home before sunrise? “Come on Eva, I’ll do your patrols for the next week.” This got my attention; patrols were even more boring than easy jobs. They were just walking through town, then walking back through town. “Fine, but this counts in reports as you calling for back-up on a task below your ability.” I walked slowly to the rooms he indicated and took a deep breath, preparing to attack. The light behind me was fading fast so I’d have to do this quickly. I opened the door, there was a solitary figure cowering in the corner. A Vampiress, we’re not allowed to call them Women. I sighed, this really was too easy. I allowed my mind to wonder as I approached, silent with stake in hand. She hadn’t made any attempt to defend herself so far so I dropped my hunter’s stance and lunged. At the last moment she fought back, instinct kicking-in she used all her strength to fight me. I was caught unawares and she elbowed me hard in the face. I swore as I leaned against the wall. The Vampiress paused at the door, debating whether or not it was worth it to risk the dying light outside. I straightened up and began running and so did she, shrieking from the pain of daylight.

I was faster than her for sure but she was only a few meters from the sea where the water would distort the light and she wouldn’t need to breath. If we both entered the water she would have the upper hand by far. She hit the water and started swimming immediately. I ran onto the jetty and followed her until I ran out of wood. I didn’t even think about it. I dived. When she had elbowed me it had made my nose bleed and now it began to leech into the water, making the Vampire turn like some hideous shark. I fought her with all I had, realising ironically this was probably the most weak position I could have put myself in and wondering if this was enough ‘excitement’ for me. I couldn’t go any longer without breath and she knew it. She swam around me several times blowing air bubbles in my face, taunting me. She grabbed my feet and pulled me down and I began to lose consciousness. Suddenly there was another figure in the water. NO! I thought, thinking Rock had jumped in after me. GET OUT NOW! But the Vampiress turned, fleeing with a look of terror on her face. Arms wrapped around me and pulled me out onto the beach, almost half a mile away from where I had jumped in. I congratulated myself dully on staying alive long enough for the currents and the she-Vamp to drag me so far. I opened my eyes, expecting to see my best friend, and looked straight into the eyes of another Vampire. Of the Vampire, the one from the graveyard. My weapon belt had washed away, I was trapped. Again. With no way of defending myself I did the only thing that made any sense to me: I swore and threw a punch. “Whoa! What was that for?” He asked, clutching his nose. I pulled myself against a boulder, my legs wouldn’t move yet. “Vampire.” I breathed. “Yeah, but I just saved your life.” I was on the point of a break down. I was so confused I almost started crying. Almost, I don’t cry. Not ever. “Why?” Was all I could manage.

“We’re even now: You spared my life, I saved yours.” “But how did you know where I was?” “I followed you.” “Explain, please.” He moved closer to me, “I’ve been following you ever since we met. You’ve fascinated me; the Slayer who threw down her stake and kissed me. I must admit I’ve become slightly obsessed with you. I really wanted to know who you were. I’m Mark, by the way, Mark Gatesby.” “Eva,” I said absent mindedly. “So you’re not about to demand that I serve you for all eternity or drain my blood?” “Wasn’t planning on it, I don’t drink blood remember? Why, are you about to stake me?” “Probably not, I lost my stakes and my guns are all useless thanks to the water.” “Hmm,” he started looking in his bag for something, not seeming to be paying attention. “You know,” I said. “I really am defenceless. All my weapons are gone.” “Do you want to become drafted into the undead? I really don’t drink blood.” I spat out of habit as you were supposed to do when someone went against your honour as a Slayer. “Lovely,” he said. “Here, have this.” He passed me what looked like a sandwich. “Is it poisoned?” I asked. “Are you trying to insult my culinary skills?” I laughed softly, and then laughed harder when I thought of the sheer surrealism of the moment; I was sitting on a beach eating sandwiches, with a Vampire. The sworn enemy just saved my life and passed me a chicken sandwich.

Within moments we were both rolling on the sand laughing. I tried to stand up and fell down, Mark caught me and that started the laughing again. “Eva!” A voice called, I had forgotten about Rock. “Run! That’s my partner!” “No, wait. Can I see you again?” “What!?” “Please, I’m an outcast because I don’t drink. It’s nice to talk to someone.” “Fine! I’ll meet you in the park at 11, just go!” I hissed. “It’s a date then.” Before I could ask what he meant he kissed me, right on the lips, and ran.

So there you have it. Its 10:30 now and I’m still in the Library. What do you wear on a date with the enemy? I’m freaking out now. Well time to go get ready I guess. Bye, Eva. P.S contact me on 07jrouth@stanwell.org for questions or comments. Thanks.

Ok, Where do I begin? I’ll start with answering some questions. Daughter_of_the_Devil_666@rocketamail.com asked: Hey Eva, Just wanted to know how your date went and if your still alive^_^

What did you wear in the end? Thanks, Devil Girl XXXXX

Well in answer to your question I wore the only skirt I own; a black mini one, and just a black top. I may have put on a little bit of mascarra. Maybe. And yes, I did enjoy it

ERROR 316: THIS COMPUTER WILL LOG OFF IN 60 SECONDS UNLESS TOLD OTHER WISE. 59. 58.

Sorry, I kind of just sat down in shock about what I just wrote. The punishment for a female Slayer dating a human is 4 months spent in the ‘detention centre’. That’s basically the cellars under the university. It doesn’t sound that bad but the people I know who’ve been down there don’t ever break the rules again. Most of them don’t even come up. ERROR 316: THIS COMPUTER WILL LOG OFF IN 60 SECONDS UNLESS TOLD OTHER WISE. 59. 58. 57. 56. 55. 54. 53. 52. 51. 50. 49. 48. 47. Sorry, again. I just don’t know why I wrote that; why would the Slayer Elders make someone go where they wouldn’t come back? They’re the good guys. And anyway, what would they keep down there that would do anything? I’m going mad; all this breaking the rules stuff is making me go crazy. I have to stop. This will be the last time I access the outside net. The last post I’ll ever post. And I’ll never see Mark again. If I do, I’ll kill him.