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VOLUME THREE

I S S U E 37
09. 11.14
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VOLUME THREE
I S S U E 37
09. 11.14
PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S L I VE MUSI C GUI DE PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S L I VE MUSI C GUI DE
ART!
page 6
ART!
page 6
SPORTS!
page 12
SPORTS!
page 12
WEEK ONE RESULTS: PAGE 14!
PRICKLY PEAR
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table of contents
8
Citizen
Soundcheck
The ONLY gui de of i t s ki nd
for t he NB/SM Met ropl ex!
15
12
Sports
The Texas Nat i onal Pi zza
Eat i ng Champi onshi ps!
14
Line Crushers
Our NFL handi cappi ng
cont est i s back for 2014!
1st Word
4-B t ap dances around
el ephant i n Counci l
Chambers.
3
Cover Story
Scot t y P shoot s, scores.
6
Last Word
I f you gi ve a ki d an Uzi ,
st and back, dummy.
11
Ask a Mexican
Gust avo of fends i n
t wo l anguages.
Due Process
Goad keeps goadi ng,
as he i s wont t o do.
4
Sound Out of Town
Because Aust i n, San Marcos and
San Ant oni o occasi onal l y have
l i ve musi c t oo.
10
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2 AD SALES 830.358.2493 2 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 3
More Fun with 4-B
Last Monday night, City
Council was presented with
four separate 4-B proposals.
Now I think you know how
this ends, because generally,
what 4-B wants, 4-B gets. For
those of you not familiar with the
Citys 4-B Board, these are the folks
tasked with the transfer of your tax dollars
to various favored businesses, such as The
Scooter Store (bankrupt, raided by FBI), Silver
State Helicopters (left town in the middle of
the night owing gods know how much money
to everybody), and some new, mostly boiler-
room, high executive pay, low employee
compensation frms, such as IBEX Global,
Nexus Medical, and CBE Companies.
Weve detailed 4-Bs trail of extremely
bad deals in past issues, and wont go into it
here, but if youd like to read up on their most
current corporate welfare deal, check out the
First Word column in the August 21 edition
of the TX Citizen, which is available online at
txcitizen.com under Previous Editions. (It has
an upload date of August 22 displayed, in
case that helps yall fnd it.)
ANYWAY, on to the proposals. Im going
to list them for you here as they appeared on
the agenda. Two of these things are very much
alike, but different in an important way. Note -
The offcial name of the 4-B Board is The New
Braunfels Industrial Development Corporation:
(A) Approval of a resolution recommended
by the New Braunfels Industrial Development
Corporation for a professional services contract
with the National Development Council for
$72,000 to assist with the development
and operation of an economic development
program and related objectives. (J. Jewell,
Development Coordinator)
(B) Approval of a resolution recommended
by the New Braunfels Industrial Development
Corporation authorizing a Professional
Services Agreement with Magellan Advisors;
and declaring an effective date. (K. Aday,
Assistant City Manager)
(C) Approval of a resolution recommended
by the New Braunfels Industrial Development
Corporation for an expenditure of up to
$21,875 for participation in a Feasibility
Study for a Transportation Reinvestment Zone
(J. Jewell, Development Coordinator)
(D) Approval of a resolution
recommended by the
New Braunfels Industrial
Development Corporation to
approve an authorized project
expenditure and to enter into a
professional services agreement
with the Greater New Braunfels
Chamber of Commerce, Inc. to assist
with the development and operation of an
economic development program. (J. Jewell,
Development Coordinator)
All of these items appeared on the Consent
Agenda, meaning that unless someone gets
them taken off the consent agenda, they pass
without discussion. So we had items A and D
taken off the Consent Agenda so we could see
how the City would justify them. I mean, they
seemed awfully similar in that they contained
nearly identical language:
A) to assist with the development
and operation of an economic development
program and related objectives.
D) to assist with the development and
operation of an economic development
program.
How much assistance does 4-B need
to do the job that the members were
handpicked by City Council do? From what
we hear, these people are the cream of the
crop. The bees knees. The cats pajamas, as
it were. I mean really.
So the items were pulled, and
Development Coordinator Jeff Jewell took the
foor. His speech was heavy on corporate
non-speak and marketing jargon, and while
we could take a couple pages to print him
verbatim, Ill point you to the Citys website,
nbtexas.org, and to the City Council tab, and
then to the Watch City Council meetings
link near the bottom of the page, and you
can listen to the explanations word for word
Jewell runs from about 18:30 to 26:33. Go.
Do it. Its well worth eight minutes to see how
these things are sold.
I guarantee several members of Council
had no idea what Jewell was saying, and
clearly didnt care anyway, because both A and
D passed unanimously without much discussion
or any follow up. But I get ahead of myself.
Continued on page 5.
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City of New Braunfels
vs David Goad
As David Goad awaits his lawsuit against City
Attorney Robert Camareno to move forward,
the City of New Braunfels fled for a citation
against Goad over an incident during a City
Council meeting on August 5.
During the Council meeting, there was an
altercation between Goad and Thor Thornhill
while the two were in an overfow room at City
Hall to watch the proceedings on television.
Goad said Thornhill was being loud and
when he asked Thornhill to keep it down,
the latter became enraged. Goad said he
then went to summon offcers but was blocked
by Thornhill who then shoved Goad with a
shoulder. Goad said responded with a light
punch to Thornhills chest.
According to the New Braunfels Police
Department, the altercation began when Goad
was standing over a sitting Thornhill. When
Thornhill stood up, the two men brushed up
against one another, causing Goad to give a
light jab to Thornhills chest.
After the incident, Camareno sent a
Criminal Trespassing Notice to Goad on August
8, which stated that Goad was immediately
prohibited from coming onto any portion of any
and all municipal buildings, offces, appurtenant
facilities, and adjacent parking lots located
anywhere throughout the city, including but not
limited to: City Hall, City Council Chambers,
Honors Hall, any public common areas such as
the front lobby at City Hall and sidewalks that
border municipal buildings.
Goad followed the notice with a lawsuit
against Camareno, arguing that banning
him from all public property (except the
parks) violated his constitutional rights.
Goad fled the suit in the Justice of the
Peace, Precinct Threes court.
On August 20, the City fled the citation
case against Goad, charging him with Assault
by Physical Contact. Along with the notice, the
City attached a signed affdavit from Thornhill
who claimed Goad had struck him. The City is
asking that Goad be fned for $571.
Thornhill is president and CEO of HMT
Engineering. HMT has received almost $1
million since 2008 for contracts with New
Braunfels Utilities. HMT also fgured large in
attempts to pass a massive bond for Comal
Independent School District. HMT stood to make
millions from contracts had the bond passed.
The hearing is scheduled for October 9 in
New Braunfels Municipal Court.
Goads suit against Camaerno has yet to
be scheduled because, according to Goad, the
court will not allow him discovery, which includes
depositions and other forms of evidence. He is
asking for an award of $10,000.
Can Ban Appeal Response
Yet to be Filed
The various river-oriented businesses have yet
to fle their response to Third Court of Appeals
in the Citys appeal in the disposable container
and cooler ordinance case. Jim Ewbank, who
represents the operators, has until September 29
to fle his response to the Citys appeal motion.
New Braunfels fled the appeal after
Judge Don Burgess ruled that the ordinances
were unconstitutional and unenforceable.
He also ordered the City not to enforce the
ordinance during the appeal process.
In its appeal, the City argued that Burgess
was wrong in his ruling because the City has
the right to police the rivers and protect the
waterways as a home-rule area. The City also
stated that the ordinances were valid because
reasonable people could argue whether the
ordinances were proper. The City also noted
that Burgess erred in ordering the City to pay
the plaintiffs fees because the judge should
have ruled in favor of the City.

Appeals to Hear Scientology
Lawsuit: Round II
The Third Court of Appeals will hear oral
arguments on September 24 in the Church
of Scientology Internationals appeal to
Monique Rathbuns harassment lawsuit
against the organization.
The Church fled an Anti-Strategic Lawsuit
Against Public Participation (Anti-SLAPP)
motion in the suit fled in Comal County. In the
motion, the Church argued that Rathbuns suit
violates the Churchs First Amendment rights
to speech and assembly. District Judge Dib
Waldrip ruled against CSI, saying the lawsuit
was not in any way related to the Churchs
First Amendment Rights. CSI appealed the
ruling, at one point accusing Waldrip of being
hostile to Scientology.
Each side will have 20 minutes to present
their cases before a panel of three judges
from the Third Court of Appeals. During
those presentations, each side will likely be
questioned by the judges.
In April, the Church won an appeal
against Waldrips order that Church leader
David Miscavige be deposed to answer
questions concerning jurisdiction.
Nick Rogers covers courts and crime for the TX Citizen.
Due Process
WITH NICK ROGERS
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Continued from page 3.
Meek Tags In
After he finished discussing Item D, and
before the vote, Jewell called in Chamber
of Commerce President and 4-B hammer
Michael Meek, who explained the 4-B tax
to Councilman Green. This is where the
real fun started:
I think your frst question was Where
does the money come from? This is a, comes
from the three-eighths of one cent economic
development sales tax that voters approved in
October of 1995. One-eighth cent goes toward
property tax reduction, and the other three-
eighths (actually two-eighths, Meek misspoke)
cent goes to your City Council appointed New
Braunfels Industrial Development Corporation
(4-B). Translation: This is all on you, City
Council. And voters.
(Its important to note that when voters
approved the tax, they thought they were
getting the roads fxed with the money. And
that was 19 years ago. - Editor)
That three-eighths cent generates
approximately 5.5 million dollars annually. 70
percent of that, those funds, since 2006 have
gone into infrastructure expenditures, quality
of life, parks, etcetera. Translation: We want
you to think we spend most of our money on
the public. Ignore the etcetera. Thats where
we keep the corporate welfare. Dont ask
about the roads.
This particular proposal, Councilmember
Green, about four percent of the total
annual revenues will go into recruiting and
marketing, pass-through funds, another two
percent, plus or minus, goes into staff costs.
So around six to seven cents of every dollar of
the 4-B Boards budget, the next couple years,
goes into this program. Hope thats helpful.
Translation: Hardly any of the money goes
into my pocket. Not directly.
Waaaaaaaaait a minute. You mean the
same guy that runs 4-B is the same guy that
runs the Chamber of Commerce? And that 4-B
is paying the Chamber (which, by the way,
is a private business club, not a government
Institution.) That seems well that just seems
vulgar. I guess it isnt anymore of a confict
than when 4-B gave millions of dollars to The
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Continued from page 3.
Meek Tags In
After he finished discussing Item D, and
before the vote, Jewell called in Chamber
of Commerce President and 4-B hammer
Michael Meek, who explained the 4-B tax
to Councilman Green. This is where the
real fun started:
I think your frst question was Where
does the money come from? This is a, comes
from the three-eighths of one cent economic
development sales tax that voters approved in
October of 1995. One-eighth cent goes toward
property tax reduction, and the other three-
eighths (actually two-eighths, Meek misspoke)
cent goes to your City Council appointed New
Braunfels Industrial Development Corporation
(4-B). Translation: This is all on you, City
Council. And voters.
(Its important to note that when voters
approved the tax, they thought they were
getting the roads fxed with the money. And
that was 19 years ago. - Editor)
That three-eighths cent generates
approximately 5.5 million dollars annually. 70
percent of that, those funds, since 2006 have
gone into infrastructure expenditures, quality
of life, parks, etcetera. Translation: We want
you to think we spend most of our money on
the public. Ignore the etcetera. Thats where
we keep the corporate welfare. Dont ask
about the roads.
This particular proposal, Councilmember
Green, about four percent of the total
annual revenues will go into recruiting and
marketing, pass-through funds, another two
percent, plus or minus, goes into staff costs.
So around six to seven cents of every dollar of
the 4-B Boards budget, the next couple years,
goes into this program. Hope thats helpful.
Translation: Hardly any of the money goes
into my pocket. Not directly.
Waaaaaaaaait a minute. You mean the
same guy that runs 4-B is the same guy that
runs the Chamber of Commerce? And that 4-B
is paying the Chamber (which, by the way,
is a private business club, not a government
Institution.) That seems well that just seems
vulgar. I guess it isnt anymore of a confict
than when 4-B gave millions of dollars to The
Scooter Store while Scooter Store employees
were on the Board. Oh. I get it now.
An act of omission is an act
of intent.
Now that weve covered the two items that
seem similar, we can move on to how they
are different. Lets see here. Item A is going to
cost us $72,000, payable to the NDC. Item
D, with an identical description, but payable
from 4-B, which Michael Meek runs, to the
Chamber of Commerce, which Michael Meek
also runs, is going to cost us hold on I
dont seem to see a number here. Thats odd.
Its almost like they didnt want to bother
anyone with fgures and whatnot. Well, Im
sure its close to what the other number is,
probably around $72,000.
Nuts. On second thought, Im going to
have to look this up after all, you count on
us for specific details, not vague estimates.
Lets see, its somewhere in the 652 page,
100+ MB Agenda Packet here oh.
Here it is. That wasnt easy at all. Took
forever just to download. I wonder if the
Councilmembers read all 652 pages before
the meeting. I wonder.
Aha! There we go. $847,212 payable
to Michael Meeks Chamber of Commerce.
Funny that after all that discussion, nobody
brought that up at the meeting, and that it
was left off the agenda too. Oh well. Its only
three-quarters of a million dollars off from the
prominently displayed NDC number. Business
as usual in Texas Most Corrupt City.
But Im sure thats nothing to be
concerned about.
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
6 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 7
Move outside yourself for a moment and
think about the chain reaction of moments that
led to where you are now. You might fnd a
map of seemingly incongruent points that,
somehow, pull together into a whole.
For photographer Scotty P, the points on
his map cross through coins, clouds and music.
Scotty P, whose real name is Scott Walker,
has been a musician for 45 years and was in
the coin trading business for 25 years. These
two trades converged into a career as an
outstanding photographer who sells his art at
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten in Gruene.
Several years ago, the coin trading business
Scotty P was working for started to move their
wares online. In order to do that, Scotty P needed
to take pictures of the coins for their Website.
It was boring, but it got me taking real
detailed shots of things, he said. There
was no creativity involved, the important
thing was accuracy.
Most importantly, however, was that it
put a camera in Scotty Ps hands. Soon, he
was taking the camera home on the weekends
and expanding his horizons, both literally
and fguratively, when he started pointing the
camera at the clouds.
Clouds really led me into artistic
photography, he said. One day, I took a
picture of a gray, cloudy day. I took it home
and started playing with it on Photoshop and I
created something stunning.
I was able to make something out of
nothing, he said.
The artists love of photography grew as
did his technique. And many of his photos still
feature his love of clouds.
We dream when we look into the clouds,
like the kid staring out the window in the
classroom, he said.
That dreamy nature is present in much
of Scotty Ps works, especially in his fusions,
where he will take two or more photos and
fuse them together, into something expressive
and entirely individual.
When I fuse pictures together, Im
creating something unique, something that has
never been done before, he said.
Scotty P will fuse different locations,
different times of days, or even clouds fused
into a photo, for example, of guitars fretboard.
Each is vibrant with an ethereal effect. The art
seems to have movement.
Another noticeably striking feature of
Scotty Ps work is his use of color, whether
natural or edited into the work. A photo of his
Comal County Courthouse turns a common
shot into something that appears out of dream.
The windows are dark blue while the arches
and columns are of a reddish tint. This gives
the courthouse a look that stops just short of
surreal but well past the mundane.
One of my favorite of Scotty Ps works is
of a dragonfy (see cover). The years of taking
detailed shots of coins are evident here as
the dragonfys wings are shown in amazing
closeness, lustrous and fragile. The colors
move from a cool blue to a hot red to a vibrant
green. The photo is more than of just a single
dragonfy, but is a photo of all dragonfies.
Im not shy with color, Scotty P
said. Some people might call my work
oversaturated, but its my hallmark.
I should state that the Impressionists and
Post-Impressionist were also accused of using too
much color. Today, we can hardly imagine telling
Monet, Renoir or Van Gogh that their art would
be better if they simply toned it down a bit.
Scotty P also shows a great knack for
pictures of people. At Oma Gruenes, there
are Hula-Hoops for the kids to play with.
When hes not speaking with customers, the
photographer will grab snapshots of the kids.
I love taking pictures of kids playing
here at Oma Gruenes, he said. Just kids
being kids, not standing them up and telling
them to smile at the camera.
The photographer will then show the
photo to the parents, who can buy the picture
for $5. More often than not, they do.
Another photo I found fascinating was a
shot he had taken of his guide during a visit to
Jamaica. The face shouts charisma, but hints at a
life with more depth and meaning than simply that
of a tour guide. For me, the key to a great portrait
is not in what is known, but that which conveys
the mystery of otherness. This is what makes
Scotty P an artist and not just a photographer.
There are those who would question the
sanity of going into the photography business
when everyone has a camera in their pocket,
he said. But I offer a different perspective.
This is certainly true. I can take picture,
but I am neither a photographer nor an artist.
This would be the same as saying that buying
a sports car makes someone a racecar driver.
Speeding on the Interstate is not the same as
taking Turn 1 at Track of the Americas.
For Scotty P, the point is to offer a piece of
art at an affordable price.
His work ranges from $10 to $60,
depending on the sophistication and size. Also,
if you fnd a smaller photo you like but want a
bigger version of it, Scotty P can do that on site.
Scotty P also offers a wide range of services.
He will take photos for weddings and websites.
He also does portraits, band shots and parties.
His work has also been seen in the TX Citizen.
But he dearly loves to do artistic work and
loves his location at Oma Gruenes Secret Garten,
a beautiful spot nestled behind the Olde Time
Photographs shop in Gruene. This way, Scotty P
can move between selling photos and jumping
onstage to play bass for a number of bands.
I found a home, he said. I love being
next to the music, interacting here in Gruene,
the whole action. I just love it.
I can honestly say that I am the only
gallery in New Braunfels that offers live
music, beer and food, he said.
Scotty P is especially grateful to Tracy Graves
and Paul Davis, who own Oma Gruenes.
Im blessed, he said.
You can fnd Scotty P at Oma Gruenes every weekend.
You can also reach him at 210-421-2344, or you can
email him at spwalker@gvtc.com.
COVER STORY: SCOTTY P
TXCITIZEN.COM 7
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Thu 9.11
Adobe Verde
Megan Ford
6pm
Freiheit Country Store
David Selbo
7pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Jam Night
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Jeffrey Ryan Vaughn
5pm
Rileys Tavern
The Lonesome
w/ For Elise
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice House
The Travis Parker Band
8pm
Gruene Hall
Gordie Tentrees, Mark Jungers,
Jaxon Haldeen
6pm
The Pour Haus
Paul Eldridge
8pm
River Road Ice House
Tom Gillam
8pm
Fri 9.12
Adobe Verde
Mandy Rowden
6:30pm
Black Whale Pub
Miles Smith & Matt Morgan
9pm
The Happy Cow
3 Chord Rodeo
8pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Cold Snap
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Broseph
5pm
Slim Bawb & the Fabulous Stumpgrinders
9pm
Rileys Tavern
1st Annual George Jones Birthday Bash
7pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Alpine Haus Restaurant
Off the Grid Polka Band
6pm
Billys Ice House
Breelan Angel
8pm
Gruene Hall
Los Lonely Boys
w/ Dahebegebees
8pm, SOLD OUT
The Pour Haus
Mothership Connection
8:30pm
River Road Ice House
The Derailers
w/ Eric Tessmer Band
7pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Scott Boddicker
7pm
Vino en Verde
D Rock & J Scott
8:30pm
Sat 9.13
Adobe Verde
JJ Garrett Band
6:30pm
The Happy Cow
Jordan Minor
8pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Smokehouse Guitar Army
1pm
The Lesti Huff Band
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
The Georges
9pm
Rileys Tavern
Peppers Blues
9pm
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8 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 9
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice House
Stephen Chadwick
9pm
Gruene Hall
Dawn & Hawkes
1pm
Max Stalling
w/ The Hill Country Gentlemen
8pm, $10
NB Farm to Market
Ron Brietzke
9:30am
The Pour Haus
Aaron Stephens
9:30pm
River Road Ice House
Pardo & Reed
w/ Court Nance, Keegan Reed Band
8pm
Vino en Verde
Russell Bisbey
9pm
Sun 9.14
Adobe Verde
Paul Cataldo
6pm
The Happy Cow
T-Bone & the Bluetones
4pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Bare Fax
2pm
Phoenix Saloon
Lucas Taylor
3pm
True Audio Outland
7pm
Geronimo VFW #8456
Glenn Collins & Alibi
3pm
Gruene Hall
Bret Graham
12:30pm
John Arthur Martinez
5pm
The Pour Haus
Manzy Lowry
8pm
River Road Ice House
Lindsay Lee Benefit
w/ Two Tons of Steel
7pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Billy Snipes
3pm
Mon 9.15
Rileys Tavern
Songwriter Showcase
w/ John Whipple
8pm
Billys Ice House
Jonathan Garcia
8pm
Gruene Hall
Rodney Hayden
6pm
The Pour Haus
D Rock & J Scott
8pm
River Road Ice House
Walt Wilkins
8pm
Tues 9.16
Watering Hole Saloon
TBA
8:30pm
Gruene Hall
Tony Taylor, Wes Nickson, Branko Jr
6pm
The Pour Haus
Open Mic w/ Jon Magill
8pm
River Road Ice House
Scott Morgan
8pm
Wed 9.17
Phoenix Saloon
Jesse Stratton
8pm
Rileys Tavern
Mike Ethan Messick
9pm
Billys Ice House
Aaron Stephens
8pm
Gruene Hall
Chubby Knuckle Choir
6pm
The Pour Haus
Tony Taylor
8pm
River Road Ice House
Drew Kennedy
8pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Zack Walther
6pm
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2348 Gruene Lake Dr. Suite B 830.643.1309
Collectibles
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Vintage Vinyl
Diecast Toys
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Fri 9.12
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Bobby Bare Jr
w/ Daniel Thomas Phipps
9pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm
Tony Joe White
w/ Ted Roddy
10pm, $17
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
The Georges
8pm
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Ben Beckendorf
4pm
Miss Leslie
8pm
Red Eyed Fly
After These Messages
9pm, Inside
The Lonesome, Cities Between, Light the
Sun,
The Cicadas, Scarlets Eyes
8pm, Outside
Sams Burger Joint
Joe Ely
8pm, $20-$70
Stubbs BBQ
The Nightowls
w/ Water & Rust
9pm, Inside, $10
Sat 9.13
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Shelley King
9pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm
Buggaboo
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Hillary York, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
Charlie Montague
w/ Mayeaux & Broussard
8pm, 18+ $8
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Mike Stinson
1pm
Thomas Michael Riley
9pm, $10
Red Eyed Fly
The Swamp Bats
10pm, Inside
Lady Zion & the Babylon Boys, Freebleeder,
Stonekracker, Portrait of the Revolution,
Beyond Fallen Shadows
8:30pm, Outside
R & J Music Pavillion
Moe Bandy
9pm
Sams Burger Joint
Soul Track Mind
8pm, $12-$50
Stubbs BBQ
Archnemesis
w/ Bobby Duque
8pm, Inside, $10
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Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
Special Events Monthly
Private Parties- Catering
Wedding Facilities Available
Never a Cover!
Kid & Pet Friendly!
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
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Freiheit Country Store
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Thursdays Nights
Koozies Icehouse
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Thursday, Friday, Saturday
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Karaoke
Thursdays, Sundays
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Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
Phoenix Saloon
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Prickly Pear Lounge
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Thursdays, Saturdays
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Fridays
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10 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 11
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: The Mexican-
American community is the most
adversely affected by the influx of
illegals. Only the politicians have
any gain from lumping all Hispanics
into the Latino category. Are proud,
hardworking Mexican-Americans
actually willing to continually
diminish their own childrens
American future purely to facilitate
the radical Chicano politicians
dream of a fearful, disjointed, Third
World California? So far, the racist
Chicano politicians are succeeding at
making fools of the Mexican-American
community. Where is the outrage?
The Mexican-Americans I know are
exemplary parents. Since when did
the community at large cease to feel an
obligation to its own children?
My Best Friend is Brown
Dear Gabacho: Of course Mexican-
Americans are the community most affected by
undocumented folks. Theyre our primos y tos
deported by the migra, as well as the parents
of young children left without mami or papi.
Their hard work shames us pochos into working
harder; their resourcefulness while living in
this country leads to hilarious Mexican memes
that get turned into listicles by the kids over at
Buzzfeed and Pocho.com. More importantly,
illegal immigrants are a constant reminder to
our kids of any number of Biblical versesdo
unto others this, strangers in a strange land
esothat keep us in check, our culture strong,
and ensure we dont turn into amoral assholes
like ustedes Know Nothings.
Dear Mexican: Your column is
typically about culture, society, love,
life, and death. But I want to ask about
something more importantbeer.
Why is Mexican beer bland? Most of
the beer in Mexico is a variant of a light
European lager. Sure, not all beers
are that way. But why doesnt the beer
follow the vibrant foods of Mexico?
Is beer just a liquid to wash down
interesting food? A palate cleaner, like
a favored water? Is beer a gateway to
stronger drinks like mezcal?
Cerveza Sammy
Dear Gabacho: The Mexican has never
favored beer, probably because he drank too
much of it as a four-year old y me di asco. But
I know enough to tell usted that nearly all the
major Mexican beer brands are lagers because
of the German, Czech, and Austrian migrants
who founded brands such as Tecate, Negra
Modelo and Bohemia (whatyou thought it
was named after the last Aztec emperor?). I
also know enough to turn an afcionado like you
onto Mexicos burgeoning microbrewery scene
in Baja California, where Im sure you can fnd
stouts, IPAs, and red ales worthy of Pliny the
Younger. Finally, my cerveza knowledge is such
that I know once-regional Mexican brands are
now invading el Norte to capture gabacho
dollarsVictoria started a mass ad campaign
some years back, and Montejo (a golden lager
most popular in Yucatn) just made its American
debut. But what do I know? Im just a humble
mezcal borracho, after all....
Ask the Mexican at
themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him
on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!
ASK A MEXICAN!
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12 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 13
The Texas National
PIZZA Eating Championships!
The Texas National
PIZZA Eating Championships!
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TXCITIZEN.COM 13
Brazenly sponsored by Brazenly sponsored by
Winner receives $50 CASH!
Event begins immediately following the NOON Dallas and
New Orleans games. Swimwear suggested, but extra points
will be granted to those competing fully clothed. The
winner will be immortalized in a special section of the
September 18 edition of the TX Citizen.
The Texas National
CANNONBALL Championships
SUNDAY, SEPT 14
AT THE PRICKLY PEAR LOUNGE!
Last Saturday, ten brave souls bellied up to tables at Bosses Pizza to compete for the Texas
National Pizza Eating Championship, brought to you by your pals at Bosses and the TX Citizen.
For 30 minutes they each took on a large, award winning, "Herd" pizza, which was named the
Best Signature Pizza in Town in this year's TX Citizen Best of the Wurst reader's poll!
Most contestants were unable to push past the half-pie point, but our oldest contestant, 30
year old Jason King, and youngest entrant, 15 year old Dylan Edwards, both went to the wall,
passing the three-quarter mark. In the end, youth narrowly bested life experience, with
Edwards taking home the trophy, the t-shirt, and the $100 cash prize courtesy of Bosses Pizza.
The best part of the event was watching the expressions on the faces of all the entrants
change from competitively enthusiastic to the cold, dead stare of someone who's experiencing
a whole new set of feelings about pizza. At least one contestant had a "reversal of fortune" in
the parking lot, which was bound to happen.
We do it again next year, but in the meantime you can train at Bosses at their all-you-can-eat
pizza buffet lunch, which is pretty sweet.
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14 TX CITIZEN 14 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 15
X
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now with a guaranteed
$500 PAYOUT!
now with a guaranteed
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Bar Results:
First Place, Buffalo Wings and Rings - 61%
Second Place: The Happy Cow, 54%
Third Place: Scores, 53%
Fourth Place: Prickly Pear Lounge, 52%
Fifth Place: The Watering Hole, 50%
Black Whale Pub on Injured Reserve for Week One
Winners:
Buffalo Wings and Rings - Ren Wilson, 5/5, PERFECT!
The Happy Cow: FOUR WAY TIE, 4/4, Chris Trebing, Yasmin Zuglin, K Dykema, and Megan Ouver
Scores: TIE, 4/4, Doug Hutchinson, Jens Fritsch
The Prickly Pear Lounge: 4/4, Haley Coleman
The Watering Hole: TIE, 3/5, Holly Overturf, Linde Hickman
W
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With Kelly Colby
TXCITIZEN.COM 15
Use Both Hands
One of the greatest contentions between me
and my liberal friends is the idea that the media
is somehow biased in favor of liberalism. Most
scoff at the idea, spewing talking points that
they heard from their favorite liberal outlet. This
is just a Republican delusion, Fantasy doesnt
deserve the same attention as reality, or Reality
has a liberal bias, they say. Some take it even
further, pointing out that major corporations own
the media, and what could be more conservative
than that? All of this predicated on their belief
that the Overton Window should logically have
Che Guevara smiling out of it with Mao visibly
setting the table for tea in the background. No
amount of reasoned discourse is likely to make
them think otherwise.
So, if youre one of those people who
thinks believing in a liberal media bias is akin
to believing in Santa Claus, then this column is
probably not for you.
On the other hand, if you have felt the
irritation of liberal media bias like a burning
hemorrhoid before, or if you have a brain cell
or two that havent been lulled into a comatose
state by exposure to said media, you might
enjoy whats to come.
I feel that the most glaring example
of liberal media bias has always been
the medias handling of gun control. Not
only is gun control a liberal sacred cow, it
also provides everything thats wanted in
good television: violence, perceived social
relevance, and the opportunity to shove a
camera and microphone in the face of some
bereaved family member.
Now, its not surprising that there should
be news coverage when there is a school
shooting or when overt gunrunning is taking
place at our border (though there seems to
be a good deal more interest in the former
than the latter, at least when the government
is involved), but it would be nice if that
coverage included actual facts. Never is it
mentioned that such shootings are incredibly
rare. Never is it mentioned that, beside the
mass murder, any number of other laws and
ordinances were broken by the perpetrator,
something that might lead you to suspect that
they wouldnt much care about some new gun
measure. Never is a person placed in front of
the camera who has any idea of the difference
between an automatic and a semi-automatic
weapon or a working understanding of what
an assault weapon is.
What I fnd truly irritating, though, is the
propensity of the liberal media to run with
stories that include circumstances so absurd as
to belong in a bad pulp novel. Certainly, some
credit can be offered to the man bites dog
aspect to such stories, but more often than not
they are treated as a platform for discrediting
gun rights and not as the metaphoric freak
show they really are. Two recent stories carried
in the news spring immediately to mind.
The frst is the story of a nine-year-old girl
who accidentally shot her shooting instructor
with an Uzi. There is no question that such
a thing is tragic for both the girl and the
instructor, but is there any reason to blame this
on the availability of guns or the gun itself?
The gun operated exactly as it was
designed to by all appearances. The little
girl is certainly not to blame. She was at a
frearms range, with her parents, receiving
lessons from a trained instructor. That leaves
only the instructor himself to take the blame for
the accident, and thats who deserves it.
Assuming that we put aside the prudence of
giving a nine-year-old an automatic weapon in
the frst place (its not something that I wouldnt
do), I can see at least two ways in which the
instructor was negligent. First, he should not have
been unprepared for the girl to be surprised by
or overcome by the recoil. I am told that Uzis
have a notoriously light recoil, but even if that is
the case, an instructor should always assume the
worst. Second, the instructor should never have
placed himself in a position where he could be
in the line of the muzzle of a loaded weapon
held by a novice. To do so goes against every
idea of frearms safety I have ever heard of. It
seems obvious to me that the instructor made a
mistake. One he paid for dearly.
What does this tell us about gun control?
Nothing but Use both hands really. The push
seems to be to keep young children away from
guns, but this accident could have happened
to someone of any age. This was more about
inexperience than age. Making guns more alien
to children would only serve to make things worse.
The second story involves a shooting
incident with an Idaho State professor. The
school had recently opened up the campus
to teachers carrying weapons, so the media
has jumped on the idea that this is somehow
inherently dangerous. They ignore the number
of times that private citizens packing heat have
successfully protected themselves and others
in favor of creating a furor over an accident
where the only injury was to the nincompoop
now nicknamed Limpy.
Limpy should probably be given a break
here. After all, a lot of men have problems
with prematurely going off. But, if the accident
occurs while youre standing in front of a class
of young women and men excitedly fngering
something hard in your pocket, well, you have
no one to blame but yourself.
Once again, we have a case of
inexperience or foolishness leading to a tragedy
(at least for Limpys toe). Should all teachers
be kept from carrying frearms because of
this accident? Of course not, but it might be
a good idea to get this particular professor a
gun safety class for Christmas. (Editors Note: A
few years back, a New Braunfels Police Offcer
accidentally shot himself in the hand while at
Police Headquarters. It happens. Still funny.)
As for the idea of allowing teachers to
carry in the classroom, I suspect it will not
make much difference in the long run. Campus
shootings are suffciently rare that any chance at
self-defense will likely be a statistical anomaly.
The end result will not make people any more
or less safe overall. Because of this, there is no
particular reason why people shouldnt be able
to carry on campus. Having rules preventing
people from being armed hasnt protected
anybody either. Maybe we should avoid
having useless laws as a matter of policy.
Most of this is a tempest in a teapot. The
medias outlook with regard to guns is unlikely
to change. As much as I would like to see some
logic and balance in reporting, its not going
to happen any time soon. The best we can do
is be aware of media bias and laugh it off.
Propaganda is almost always ridiculous.
It tries to play on human weakness and fear
to accomplish political goals. If we point it out
when we see it, its effectiveness is eliminated
for us and diminished for others. As angry as it
makes me that this propaganda is foisted on us
by a supposedly unbiased media, there is little
that can or should be done. Some people will
never accept that they are being manipulated.
They cant be helped. The rest of us are
probably mostly immune by now. Until the
world changes in a major way, I expect to see
this sort of drivel, and I expect I will continue to
throw my shoes at the television set.
L
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You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfrstshrug.
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