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Egotrism

by F.V. Fargas
Egotrism


Written by

F.V. Fargas


Cover Art by
Alice B


Editing by
Mihai Andrian


Published by Lulu.com


2011 - Final Edition











Disclaimer : The content of this book might be offensive to some readers as it contains
material of extreme and violent nature, and ideas that might be considered illegal. The
content of this book is for informational purposes only. The author has taken the right to
express himself, and will not refrain from writing what might bother some readers and
will not be responsible to any person with respect to any loss or damage caused or done
directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book. Parental advisory.


© 2010 F.V.Fargas No part of this book may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form, without the written permission of the author.
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Contents





About the book ________________________________________ 7
How I came up with Egotrism ____________________________ 9
The basics of Egotrism _________________________________ 14
What the Egotrist does _________________________________ 17
Practical, practical, practical… __________________________ 19
Life as I see it ________________________________________ 22
Religionist – To be or not to be (a sermon) _________________ 34
Emotions and Intentions _______________________________ 38
Practical, practical, practical… __________________________ 43
The Gods of Men. The Men of Gods ______________________ 44
Relationships with Gods ________________________________ 46
The magick inside you _________________________________ 51
Practical, practical, practical… __________________________ 57
Ending _____________________________________________ 61
Suggested Books ______________________________________ 62








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Dedication

This book is dedicated to my Gods, my family, friends and foes
who have taught me everything I had to know for writing this book.
I would specially like to dedicate this book to all my associates and
friends of the Left-Hand-Path, especially T.C., Dardanus, Hase, Xophier,
Nero, Myrmydon and S.Connolly.
May the Gods keep you close now and forever under their wings !
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About the book
The idea of writing this book that would cover most of my life
ideologies came quite recently after being innumerably changed from
ideology to ideology in the last 3 years (calculating by each year, there
would be at least one ideology per year. Beat that!). I tried to write it for
more than 7 times but it never satisfied me or reached half of my
expectations because it was always incomplete (and still is). But I came to
the conclusion that any effort is important no matter how great it might be.
Thus I decided to write this small (yes I know) book and try to cover at
least the philosophical part of that which I like to call Egotrism, a belief
that I invented one year ago.
Why I wrote this book? Out of proclivity rather than choice. There
are too many people that ask me about my beliefs and after speaking of the
same things over and over with hundreds of people it gets nerve-racking.
Not to mention it is impractical to keep talking of the same things over and
over, and there’s also the possibility of me forgetting some ideas on the
way.
So, I though that if they are so interested, they might as well read
this book. This book is basically something different from all that you read
about Life, or at least I hope so. It is simply what I have learned,
experienced and felt ever since I can remember. It is my belief, my
philosophy, my religion, my life.
What you won’t read about too much in this book however, is the
‘practical’ Egotrism, the rituals and stuff. There will probably be another
book for that. But only if this one is well received. I guess nobody wants to
write books for himself. There will be, however, some practical exercises
after finishing with a topic.
This work, though not a masterpiece, could be used as a guide to a
more personal approach to Life and Religion and a more modern approach
as well.
You’ll learn why and how I stick to this belief and why I urge
others to do it as well. It’s pretty interesting.
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As Satanic as it may appear, this book does not represent the
religion called Satanism but it has been clearly influenced by it.
This is not a religious book, but a spiritual, philosophical and
practical book and therefore I shall not say or try to influence in any way
the reader’s choice for a religion or divinity. However, you will learn that
Egotrism, just like life itself, is a balanced path. In other words, there’s no
God or Satan, no Black and White, just a shade of grey.
I repeat: This book is NOT about CHRISTIANITY or
SATANISM. If you are a convinced religious person or a traditionalist who
rejects the new this book might not be for you.
Without further ado, lets keep going and learn that which is to learn
about EGOTRISM. - F.V. Fargas
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How I came up with Egotrism
I do not know if Egotrism can be a religious path, but it is certainly
a movement of religious essence. As a life guide for myself it turned out to
be more than just an ideology. It became my own religious path.
I believe that everyone must be aware of the importance of his
religion in his/her life. Religion should not be taken as a group in which
you choose to join, in order to find a place in society. From my point of
view, religion is the destiny of each man’s soul, it is his way of life and the
highway to Death. Yes, religion can change your way of life, way of
thinking. Unlike atheism, religion offers you something more. It offers you
a new theory, a “new” pair of eyes, which will help you see the importance
of spirituality in life and of the spiritual evolution. Of course, every religion
is different. Every religion shows you a different image on life, on the spirit
and on yourself. Christianity is different from Satanism, Judaism is
different from Hinduism, and so on. Also, each person is different from
another and has the right to choose his own religion according to his
feelings or thoughts. As you get older, you start seeing life differently and
also the religion in which you belong. And that’s the time when only YOU
have the right to change your path. That’s what I did too. I have chosen
what I’ve considered to be best for my soul, I’ve chosen something I was
truly connected with and the path I have needed the most.
Egotrism took birth out of many paths I’ve studied and some that I
have followed. From studying and reading, from the people I have met and
learned from, from experience and from maturity, I took the best I got and
put it all together. There were books, magazines, papers, websites that I
read with a clear mind. There were people that I have listened to with an
opened soul. But experience and age were the most important, now I see.
There were people indeed who have helped me a lot on the way, starting
from my character and attitude that they helped recover and correct, to
even learning how to write grammatically correct and express myself, talk,
think, behave. A lot is still ‘under construction’, evolution is ever changing
and I am still young.
If your guess is that I have something to do with creepy shit such
as Satanism and Demons, you’d be right. These were part of my life for
almost half of it, and still play an important role in it, just as Christianity
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and God were for the other half of my very young existence. How it all
happened, I’ll explain right now.
The “dark” faith (so to speak), embraced my soul 9 years ago. Since
then I have been studying Satanism, with my soul and mind, with an
appetite for knowledge and a strong attraction. A strong attraction resulting
from the spiritual connection I had with Satan since birth. Yes, I’ve always
been spiritually connected to Satan, just as I was with Jehovah (God). Since
I was a child I believed in God. We were very close and indeed He played a
major role in my life. I have been a very devoted follower to both Gods, in
separate times of my life. I always took religion and spirituality seriously for
I knew and felt it’s importance and impact in my life. I consider that
religion has the role to help the individual to exceed any limit in his way
and to evolve both spiritually and intellectually. For that reason, I was
determined to leave Christianity behind for the stupid thought that it
wasn’t giving me what I was needing at that time.
It is true, that while I was a Christian I was very anxious and
frustrated. I felt spiritually empty and vulnerable. And compared to the
period I have devoted myself to the Devil, I can say that the “dark” side
helped me much more. What I failed to understand all this time, and luckily
got it at last few months ago, is that God was not responsible for the
happenings in my life and that I was disappointed by myself and not by
Him. I have expected from God what most people expect from an
employee or better yet, from a slave. It is true I haven’t asked for money, a
house and a wife, but like any man I have asked for guidance and strength.
These two have been instead provided by Satan, psychologically explained
through auto-suggestion and spiritually explained through channeling.
I began to see Christianity, honestly enough, for what it really is. A
religion that would keep me away from spiritual evolution, a weak religion,
a limited religion, without logic and spirituality. I’ve seen with my own eyes
how religion can affect your way of life and thinking. I’ve been a Christian
for about 10 years. Because I was forced to. Especially my dad who is quite
a profound Christian, forced me to follow his religion. And that’s what I
did. But not with my soul . Because it was my soul who proved me that this
is a false, satiric and revolting religion . I observed how Christianity can
destroy your soul and mind . In my childhood, I went to churches and
monasteries from time to time, and what I have seen there, simply shocked
me. A bunch of people praying desperately to God, in vain . Going to the
altar, kissing a crucifix with a tortured man , who besides this is almost
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naked . Leaving their slobber on the cross until another one comes and
puts his mouth on it . I was...totally disgusted .
For 10-11 years I was constrained to swallow this religion .
Christianity the religion of the people, is nothing more than a
manipulating phenomenon for the weak. I’ve seen this and gave blame,
unconsciously enough, to God which I associated with this sickness
represented by the Church and the Bible, forgetting my PERSONAL
business with Him. There is a big difference between spirituality and
religion, and the best example for this is the way God acts upon the adept
and the way Christianity does. I made the mistake to accuse them both.
In time, I’ve changed. Disgusted and antichristian to the bone, I’ve
chosen the exact opposite. I chose Satanism, a religion that urges the adept
to be confident, autodidact, intelligent… that urges the adept to be a
fighter, not a slave.
Now, don’t get me wrong.. I don’t see Satanism as a refuge for
those who are unsatisfied by God, or a revenge on the world and God..
Like, a plan B, a second choice . Hating God and being antichristian is,
indeed, a satanic act, but for me that religion did not limit itself at this. It
was far more than just, inversed Christianity. It was far more than listening
to black metal and screaming “Fuck God ! Hail Satan!”.. that is shit. You
can look absolutely normal, you can act normal, you can listen to Shakira
and still be a Satanist . What was most important, at least for me, was the
relationship with Satan which I always wanted to get bigger and bigger. I
wanted Him to be a part of my life, as God “didn’t have the necessary
disposition for that”. I wanted to show the world that Satanists are far
better than they think. To make them proud when shouting “Hail Satan!”,
knowing that the others will not have anything to reproach to them or treat
them as enemies but as someone superior.
Indeed, anyone can be mad at God. Anyone can shout “Fuck God !
Hail Satan!”.. anyone can kneel and pray, do a ritual.. etc. But LIVING
your life as a Satanist, dedicating every second of it to Satan and enjoying
every second of it, trying to become better and better, showing the world
that a Satanist is not a madman but a superior man, someone who can
come in front of the world saying he is a Satanist without the risk of being
mocked or attacked because he is too fucking frustrated.. all of this is what
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makes the true Satanic follower. So compared to Christianity, I’ve seen this
as the right path and followed it without objection.
This changing did not happen only because I loathe Christianity
however. It was a reason, but not the only one. The main reason was that I
was connected to Satan, just as I was with God. I knew who Satan is long
before I ever heard of His name, long before anyone told me of such a
figure. I always felt the presence of a higher entity besides God, but I never
knew who it was until the age of 12 when I first discovered Satanism and
started to understand the whole picture, the time when I decided to meet
this entity personally and see what He’s plans might be for me. It was at the
age of 13 when my life took a big turn at 180 degrees and began to call
myself a Satanist.
When my father found out I ‘m a Satanist, he beat me. Typical
Christian. He couldn’t accept it. But then, I didn’t care, you see. There was
no one that could change my path. I was fully dedicated to the god that I
though was always there for me, the only god that I though that wouldn’t
keep my in chains but would offer me liberty and knowledge, happiness
and love. That was true to me for a long time until early this year when I
started having some experiences and, only by necessity, I had to renounce
the god that I have loved so much.
I was “godless” until my narcissism took over and declared myself
the Messiah Of Myself, The Buddha of My Life. The Gods I’ve
worshipped became now associates in spiritual work. Little by little, I’ve
combined Them and Their religions, and put together what now I call
Egotrism, the religion of the SELF. That which spurns any artificiality and
scorns every part of weakness. The religion that truly urges the adept to be
autodidact, confident and FREE. To evolve spiritually, not weaken
yourself, wasting your life, sad, “sinless”.
That’s what life’s given for. To evolve. And to enjoy all of it’s
pleasures, either mental, spiritual, material or carnal. Why stay away from
all of this ? Because it’s a sin ? It’s a sin to be free ? It’s a sin to be happy ?
It’s a sin to enjoy all of the biological pleasures ? Not for me. I do what I
do. This path is not for anyone. But only for those who really want it, and
think they can take it. Don’t like it, don’t buy it ! Unlike other religions, you
don’t need to pray continuously and wait for an answer. This religion
teaches you how to get things for yourself, be it physically, through magick
or any other method.
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With the help of magick you can heal and destroy . Any man has
the right to use magick . With the help of magick and spiritual meditation
you open a new world. A world in which you don’t need to kneel in front
of a false god to ask for food, a world in which you fight to obtain what
you desire . Through magick and meditation you can find the power to
advance, to evolve from the rank of a worm on the scale of evolution to
something grand. All of this and more, I was able to introduce and
establish in Egotrism and give it birth.
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The basics of Egotrism
If you ask me, I’d say that Egotrism is the religion of the 21st
century. The only reason I invented this “religion” is because I needed it. It
was because I had to form myself a spiritual human being and for that I
needed more than just words off the internet, off a book or from a friend. I
needed to get in touch with myself first to know the world around me.
It is a religion of the self, highly individual that evolves at the same
time with the adept as he starts to add things that come right with it.
Egotrism is just that. It is a combination of many paths and systems, but all
according to your OWN needs. It is a new religion, based a lot on the old
ways, but does not limit itself at that.
I mould this religion after my own personality. While I am not
much of a traditionalist, I do however respect tradition and use it when it is
needed. However, I have often learned that the more “ingredients” you put
into something, it gets better. You just need to know the right stuff to put
in and to know your taste. The Egotrist does not follow any tradition, but
rather creates his own tradition and belief. Unlike the orthodox Christian
or the traditional Satanist, the Egotrist is a little more free to expand his
practices and beliefs as he feels, and to borrow from more traditions and
beliefs (i.e. Christianity, Satanism, Demonolatry, Chaos Magick, Sinister
Path, Kabbalah etc.) to create his own religion or type of Egotrism. It does
not have strict beliefs to follow or a set of ideas necessarily. It’s in a
continuous evolution. It allows the practitioner to keep adding the
necessary ‘ingredients’ as he needs. You may say this is cheap stew, but for
me it’s favorite dish. It’s healthy.
Unlike other religions or systems, Egotrism is very practical as it
leaves you to deal a lot with life and puts YOU in the first place. No god be
it Satan, Jehovah, Allah is more important than yourself. I’ve said that it’s
the religion of the 21st century and you’ll understand why. Not only
because it has the new beliefs but because it relates to the problems that we
deal with nowadays. Instead of blind faith it has proof, instead of mystical
theories it has science, and instead of a dogma it has freedom.
So in many cases it is different from most religions, including
Christianity and Satanism. What it has in common with most religions
though, is the presence of the Divine which instead, it is not worshiped but
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rather used as an ally in the works of magick. In Egotrism the Gods do not
take the first place in your life, but your own self. Everything you do in life
you do for yourself not for Them. They may be your friends, spiritual
guides or whatever. You may want to thank them for their time, patience
and wisdom. But still, you are no.1.
One who kneels in front of an altar asking for this and that is
nothing but a beggar. An Egotrist does not beg. He acts, he does, he wins.
In any way possible. We are the masters of our destinies. The Gods are our
force !
All that we do, we do for ourselves and by our will alone. If you
want to invoke Jehovah and feel the urge to do a Chaos Magick ritual in
which you probably would have to invent another god, you do that. If you
want to invoke Satan and want to communicate with the demonic spirits,
you may very well dwell into Demonolatry. You are a Modern Magickian,
but that doesn’t mean you can’t do a 300 year old traditional ritual. There
are differences but they all depend on YOU. I have my own EGOtrism.
You can have one too ! .. just, be creative. There are no rules, only
decisions that you take. There are only points you can follow and others
that you avoid.
Some points I like to follow are the 21 Satanic Points. For those
who aren’t familiar with them, they are a set of ideas that can be found in
the Black Book Of Satan by O.N.A. (Order of the Nine Angles). These are
ideas for those who follow that which the O.N.A. calls ‘The Sinister Path’,
a quite different style of Traditional Satanism that has gained a lot of
followers lately.
In my opinion these are ideas that every person who wants to be
stronger and invulnerable should follow. Its what makes the life and mind
of a true man. Its stuff that I like to rely on and live by. And they are :

1. Respect not pity or weakness, for they are a disease which makes sick the
strong.
2. Test always your strength, for therein lies success.
3. Seek happiness in victory - but never in peace.
4. Enjoy a short rest, better than a long.
5. Come as a reaper, for thus you will sow.
6. Never love anything so much you cannot see it die.
7. Build not upon sand, but upon rock. And build not for today or
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yesterday but for all time.
8. Strive ever for more, for conquest is never done.
9. And die rather than submit.
10 .Forge not works of art but swords of death, for therein lies great art.
11. Learn to raise yourself above yourself so you can triumph over all.
12. The blood of the living makes good fertilizer for the seeds of the new.
13. He who stands atop the highest pyramid of skulls can see the furthest.
14. Discard not love but treat it as an impostor, but ever be just.
15. All that is great is built upon sorrow.
16. Strive not only forwards, but upwards for greatness lies in the highest.
17. Come as a fresh strong wind that breaks yet also creates.
18. Let love of life be a goal but let your highest goal be greatness.
19. Nothing is beautiful except man: but most beautiful of all is woman.
20. Reject all illusion and lies, for they hinder the strong.
21.What does not kill you, makes you stronger.

Just like the 21 Satanic Points one must create his own, to build his
life in a way that he can evolve. Either by using physical force, mind
manipulation or magick, he needs to destroy and create according to his
needs for a better life.
Another important idea in Egotrism is balance. Not only in
spirituality, but in life in general. There’s not much appreciation to the
terms ‘good’ and ‘bad’, only by the adept’s perception of them and wish to
take them in consideration. I’ve learned that being neutral is many times
the best choice. For example, do not refrain from hurting someone
thinking that it is a ‘bad’ thing as long as that action has also a ‘good’ nature
(he deserves it.. or simply makes you feel better). Knowing the exact nature
of the act I believe is impossible. There is never an ‘evil’ without a ‘good’.
That’s how nature is in fact.. balanced. And nature is a part of this religion.
Such is the way of Egotrism.
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What the Egotrist does
...He LIVES. And hopefully, lives well. It all depends on him. We
as humans have our lives in our own hands. The Gods we have.. they have
little to do with our everyday lives. They don’t feed us, they don’t pay us..
they help us, but in other ways. The rest is up to us. We feed ourselves, we
work, we sleep, we fight, we play, we celebrate.. but we also evolve. We
evolve from the day we’re born to the day we die and perhaps beyond
death. It is our destiny as humans. It’s the reason we are here. Some do it
slower, some do it faster, the idea is to do it. How we do it, it’s up to us.
As Egotrists we have our own ways to evolve. And as the name
suggests, EGO (“I myself” in latin), we do it alone. Through hard work
unfortunately.. or perhaps some don’t see it that hard. I mean, it really ain’t
that hard to keep your organism clean and healthy, especially your mind.
And as we evolve, we take care of ourselves from all points of view…
Physically, mentally, spiritually.. We search for balance and we fight for it,
we search for wisdom and we fight for it, we search for power and we fight
for it. Man has discovered hundreds of ways to reach these points. There’s
physical exercise, martial arts, diets, meditation, mind games and sports,
there’s ritual, prayer.. there’s even art that can make you evolve.
An Egotrist as I said is free to borrow from many paths, so there’s
a big plus in that. For example, an Egotrist can always use ceremonial
magick to change the world around him if he knows how to form it to his
own necessity. He can always use Buddhist Meditation to relax or train his
mind if he knows how to form it to his own necessity.
And yes, of course, there’s ritual. Ritual that can mean anything
from brushing teeth every morning and night. Or ritual in which a poor
black hen is sacrificed to use the energy to direct at a specific goal. It is.
Why not ? Again, Egotrism can borrow from Traditional Satanism right ?
So according to tradition, black hens are sacrificed, orgies are to be held,
blood to drink and so on. We all choose the ways as we need or want. The
important point in all of this being evolution.
I’ve found that Hyatt’s book “The Psychopath’s Bible”, Redbeard’s
“Might is Right”, Greene’s “The 48 Laws Of Power”,Machiavelli’s “The
Prince” and to a certain extent Sun Tzu’s “The Art Of War” all have a lot
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in common with my idea of the Egotrist. They all promote the personality
of an immoral individual, the Machiavellian trait, the Satanic spirit, the
whole Dark Triad of personalities. Even more I’ve found that Nietzsche’s
idea of the Overman is similar to my idea of the Egotrist. In other words,
what I have thought to be a new idea was actually already discovered and
promoted by others, however in a very different tone and with many
missing areas to explore. Per example, the 48 Laws Of Power. All of these
are techniques that the Egotrist uses to live ‘properly’.
Even more, they are the laws of the 21st century individual. The
successful people that we hear of, the people we somehow admire, the
people who actually have power over their lives, have more or less used
most of these ideas. They actually make the individual stronger and less
vulnerable to traps and other obstacles in life. Some of which you may
consider too extreme and too negative in nature, but that doesn't make
them unsuccessful. It is your decision to take them in consideration.
The Egotrist in my mind is the person reaching for the top on all
plans. A master of his life and an expert in the field of success, the ‘scientia
phasmatis’. He has skill in everything, from communication, health,
sexuality, occult, religion to some others (jobs & careers, hobbies, traveling,
books, music, movies, art, business, politics). He has no limit, no laws or
forbidden knowledge. The impossible is a barrier that waits to be torn out,
an horizont that is and can be touched. And that’s what makes him elite !
But speaking is easy and doing is a long and hard process. Only the
strong get to the top and succeed. ‘Man is a lazy creature of habit’ (Phin
Hine) indeed and he will always seek for the easy way. But the easy way is
not always the right way. I know, I’ve been there.. I’m still there. In the last
2 years I have evolved a lot but there is still a lot of work to be done. I have
it all planned, every detail.. I just need the strength, time, patience and, well,
money to do it. It is a long and hard process. But I have faith in myself,
and that keeps me going and going.




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Practical, practical, practical…
I want to change my life almost completely. I have no choice. I'm
constrained to do it. For the last 14 years of my life I've been killing myself
and making fun of my body and mind in a barbaric way. Been smoking for
14 years, been drinking for 14 years, took drugs, had a hazardous way of
eating (was eating either too little or too much.. and most of the times, I ate
during the night which is extremely unhealthy), had a fucked up sleeping
program (if I was to sleep, I was sleeping during the day.. if not, wasn't
sleeping at all)... and many more.. All of this started to make its effects felt.
I started to realize what's happening to me.. I started getting sick all the
time, had insomnia, was stressed, depressed, tired and had many other
problems. This can't go on anymore. I love myself too much. I need to
make a change.. and one way or another, I'll do it.

I've made a list of some of my plans for the hopefully NEAR future that I
really need to apply. This list might be helpful to you too, if you're having
the same problems and planning to change your life in a better way.
If you are planning to do any of these, tell me. I might have other
tips and ideas in that area. So anyway.. This is what I have planned:

1. Medical investigations/clinical examination

This is the first on my list because health is most important,
especially in my case. Like I said I've had health problems and want to
make sure what they were. If there's anything, I need to find out first. The
investigations I chose are, I think, all the primary health investigations that
are :


a. Gastroenterology
b. Allergology
c. Endocrinology
d. Dermatology
e. Otolaryngology
f. Neuropsychiatry
g. Cardiology
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h. Pneumology
i. Nephrology
j. Hematology

2. Treatment.

In case I find anything wrong from the health investigations.

3. Program.


By program I mean a healthy life program. Normal sleeping
program, normal eating program.. Healthy food. I read some books and
articles on healthy food and stuff and I made a list of them. Many sources
suggest that eating many times a day is healthy, but not eating much. In this
list I’ll give you the foods I chose to eat and the hours when I eat them.
You'll notice that I’ve put more than just one type of meal at an hour.
That’s because I can choose what to eat one day at that hour, and what else
I can eat the next day at the same hour. So don’t understand that I mean
eating all those types the same day. So here it is :


6 A.M.

Milk and cereals
Eggs and natural fruit juice
Sandwich (ham and emmentaler) and tea

9 A.M.

Fruits (Apples, Oranges, Bananas)
Sanwich (ham and emmentaler) and yogurt

12 P.M.

Salad with tuna, peas and maize
Salad with mild pepper, cheese, tomato, cucumber and onion

3 P.M.
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Sandwich or fruits


6 P.M.

Baked potatoes and steak
Pilaf and chicken breast
Rice and some meat
Spinach
Stewed cabbage
Beans with some meat or somethin

8 P.M. or 9 P.M.

Soup with broccoli, lettuce, carrots, cauliflower and celery


4. Gym
Because of the unhealthy sleeping program, the unhealthy eating
program and lack of physical exercise I became one fat motherfucker (and
to think.. I was so skinny). The first reason I want to start going to gym is
because I want to get fit. The second reason is because its also healthy for
the mind. Besides gym I want to go jogging. Many people have
recommended me to get into sports, but sports aren't really my cup of tea.
5. Meditation and Yoga
It would be important for me because I lost balance. Because I am
stressed, can't concentrate, am tired etc. I need to find a balance, to train
my mind and find peace.

These are the health plans I have for the near future.

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Life as I see it
It’s been a while since I wrote on such a topic. It wasn’t really a
revelation. I kept thinking at this subject recently and it seems that now,
after all these years of searching, I finally began to understand. It’s pretty
clear. I admit, I had to live my life in such a way that I (finally) became
aware of my own person because for a long time I hibernated with the eyes
opened. And indeed, there were blurt out under my nose many
explanations and evidences referring to this subject, only that I didn’t allow
myself to examine them until the last 2 months while I had a period of
silence and peace.
… so I’ve decided to write quickly here and now while I got the
inspiration, only maybe, something good will get out of this.. or at least
make you put yourself some questions.
So, what is life and the world, what is my connection to it, or yours,
or everyone’s ? When I say the WORLD I mean everything.. People,
animals, nature, spirit… divinity. In these 20 years of life I can say I’ve
learned a lot about the world I live in, even though I’m still a ‘rookie’ in
what it means life and many elements of it are still unknown to me, and a
big part of them I still can’t accept. It’s a process… long and hard. But, all
in all, the basics, an idea at least.. I’ve got. And a pretty realistic one too.
A lot of people look around and wonder in what community they
would integrate best. They stay in bed at night, put their heads on the
pillow and start thinking at all kinds of ideas referring to their existence and
importance on this Earth, and not few are they who still search for the
Truth about this complex Universe and its mysterious secrets. Everything
in my opinion is right under our noses, pretty simple but hard to ‘digest’.
Especially when you wake up at the age of 50 without any real purpose,
with no great achievements and with no drop of satisfaction. We run our
whole lives after things that we consider important, but never think at their
connection to us. Some seek financial success, others search for love,
others a family etc. Everyone makes what he feels he needs to do but
doesn’t put the problem if he really does it for a really important purpose in
his evolution. And it IS blamable ! It is not an excuse that you work like a
slave 12 hours a day, that you have 5 kids and don’t have time for
YOURSELF.
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Life belongs to you and, like you take care of your teeth every
morning to not have dental decay you can take care of your soul for at least
30 minutes a day. We live in a world that is way too stressed, depressed and
ignorant that doesn’t do anything to evolve, physically, mentally and
spiritually. The financial crisis came and no more or less affected us all, we
the ordinary people. And suddenly everyone lives to work, instead of
working to live. I can’t believe that I am unconscious or too immature to
understand that there is no way to live without working like a maniac.
But there’s a difference. When after those 12 hours of work you
come home and sit in front of the TV or play video games until you drop
of sleep it seems normal that not too late you will have a personality crisis,
you will become depressed and tired. I know very well.. I’ve been through
that myself. How many of you still have the mood, time and energy to go
in the park to run half an hour and to put your thoughts in order ? How
many of you still take the liberty for a walk in nature to connect with the
soul of the Earth ? How many of you still stay 10 minutes every night in
prayer or meditation to feed your spirit with positive energy ? There is no
longer a balance in our lives, and once lost you hardly get it back. Again, I
know very well.. I’ve been through this. In desperation people go to
Church to pray for success in life. Others change their religion completely,
loosing their hope in the god that they say that suddenly doesn’t EXIST
ANYMORE !
Again, I know very well, I’ve been through this and still going
through this. An entire life I’ve dedicated in the service of divinity and
religion was my guide to illumination for a long time, but my mistake was
that I followed a single path without giving any importance to the other
that could’ve been beneficial as well. And here comes the idea of balance
again. A real man is a balanced man from all points of view, not a horse
who sees only in one direction. What I’m saying is that, in my opinion, we
need to widen our horizons, to increase our capacity to understand more
than we proposed and to analyze everything that gets in our way to have
success in life.
The world is indeed in a shade of grey. Each part is in direct
connection with its opposite. Satanism is different from Christianity, just
like Buddhism is different from Islamism.. or any of them with another. If
you have a little idea about the occult you would know for example, that
every system of belief and occult practice has a very big connection to all
the others existent. Almost the same thing applies in day by day life, in
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almost all functions and living sites. Also, every person is different from
the other. But if you lived enough time with another person, you begin to
complete each other. Interesting, right ? It is like a puzzle, in order to
complete it you need to use a piece from each.
If you worshiped God your whole life and suddenly got mad at
Him and got to plan B, running over to the ‘dark’ side doesn’t mean you
made a big step forward. It means that you stayed exactly in the same place.
Why, for example, don’t you think of what was missing in your life of a
good Christian to be able to fill it with something from your life of a good
Satanist ? Anyone can be mad at God.. I know very well… I’ve been
through this. From my own experience I tell you, that no god will ever
bring joy and success in your life. He won’t put bread on your table, he
won’t bring you a wife in bed.
In other words, you are your own God because only YOU are
master on your life and only YOUR actions will change your existence in
this world. No matter how you see Divinity, either as an entity, an
archetype or as an invention of the subconscious, you will always receive
one thing : Advice. It is exactly the same thing when it comes to
autosuggestion but, if I haven’t ‘personally’ met Divinity I would’ve been a
poor agnostic. Instead I am a skeptic and I don’t believe until I see. The
problem in spirituality, and here I’m talking about authentic spirituality and
not religion and doctrine, rules and begging to a tired god, is that the pure
truth you will find only in YOURSELF. Be YOURSELF the center of the
Universe!
I think the first thing you have to do to change now and to really
start your journey to a better person, no matter what your age is, is to
become honest. With yourself first of all. As long as you stay honest you
will get to know life as it is. That’s what seems to me the most important
thing in life. “Honesty is the supreme connection between souls”. And to
accept what you learn, even if its something difficult to grasp. You will
understand what I’m talking about here after you finish reading this. I
know that many of you will not agree with what I am about to say here.
Especially ‘new comers’. And I understand why. We’re searching for the
perfect path, simple, beautiful and rewarding. Aren’t we ?... you know, I’ve
had the same views like many of you. Reading the websites that were said
to be the perfect sources for this information, I was beginning to think of
life and Satanism (which I was studying at that time) is something so fluffy
and cute that I was fucking amazed. Now after all this time, I smile when I
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look back at those times when my naivety was boundless, taken to
paroxysm. And I talk to my Satanist friends that also been there and we
smile together.
Whenever there was something negative said about Satanism we
refused to believe it. Some were, indeed, gammon. But many things turned
out to be true, and now we understand it only because it has been proven
to us by fate. And so it is. The path that we chose to follow turned out to
be much different than we once thought. The more time spent in this
religion, the more it changes you.
Now before I start babbling about my ‘great discovery’ I want to
warn you. I want you to know that I am not playing a game on you. What I
am about to divulge is information that I had to discover for myself. It is
something few people get to know and understand. And if fate will get you
to encounter this on your path, you will then understand and know that
what I am saying here is true. I have no reason to lie. There’s nothing to
gain out of this, except an image of me being a smart ass that I really enjoy
having. The reason I am willing to divulge this information is because I
want to help, or in this case, warn those people who really want to know
life about what is ahead.
I will start off by telling you a short story. Don’t worry, it’s on the
subject. It is a story about someone who discovered the essence of a
balanced life from a spiritual point of view. It is about a friend that I will
present here under the name of “X”. He was, in a way, my mentor, in life
and in spirituality. He guided me and taught me ever since I was a kid. He
was model for me. He helped me like no one ever did, not even my mom
and dad. While we were Satanists he was the best example of a Satanist I’ve
met. And so wise and determined as he was, not only fooled me, but even
fooled himself. Something happened to him… something that I felt to
happen for a long time.
The man turned his back on Satan, as it happened, and began to
question his purpose in life. In time, he changed. At first he ran back to
God, becoming not A Christian (A Christian is an idiot who follows
blindly) but a Man of God, fully aware of the sickness that is in Christianity
and the world. There are few reasons for this change he made, but only one
I believe is in your interest. That reason is simple. He seen the true nature
of the gods. And he didn’t like it all. And he got scared. And thus this fear
perhaps was stronger than his dedication to Satan and sought to get
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protection under the god that he started to call The Only God. Now if you
ask me, he truly understood something out of this. Indeed he seen the true
nature of Satan, yet he did not understand it. Only a bit later he discovered
that God wasn’t the best choice either. Veni, vidi, sollicitus. (“I came, I
saw, I got worried”)
Before I got these news, he invited me to his city at his home to
begin a journey throughout the country. A journey that he said will change
my life. He didn’t care to tell me more about it before I got to him. So
when I got there, he gave me details.. we were going to visit some orthodox
monasteries where we were going to stay for about a month and study
(psychology and the occult) and participate in Christian rituals. The reason
I rejected his offer was not because of the monasteries, I don’t give a shit
about them. But I knew he had some plans for me, and in my opinion, he
was trying to convert me to Christianity, something that I just couldn’t
image myself to do.
We talked about it enough for me to make an impression. He, who
had been working with Demons and Satan for a long time, was now
explaining to me how the Demons and Satan will never help me the way
that God could. He told me that, as a Christian, he will continue to work
with demons by means of Christian magickal systems (such as Goetia) and
that by doing so he will make his life better and be able to evolve in a way
that he could never have as a Satanist. At that time I was still a Satanist, so
this came pretty bad for me and had to wish him all luck in his new lovely
path and abandon the man that was once my best friend, my brother, my
mentor. For the entire week I had received signs that could have turned me
back to him. People harassing me in the bus with Christian prayer books,
beggars at the subway chanting prayers to God and an entire fucking radio
show about Christianity and God related miracles on my way back home..
but I couldn’t get back. Doing so the probability of us starting a fight and
throwing fists and karate like kicks at each other was very much expected.
It wasn’t much until we got back in touch, when curiously enough,
we both ended up with the same beliefs. That is, lonely souls in
collaboration with the gods.
The time I spent talking to him though, was worth. What he told
me about Satanism was something that I already knew. That is, that
Satanism is indeed a very dark and sometimes negative path. What he failed
to understand however, was that Satanism has also got a very positive side,
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just like Christianity. That Satanism, as Life itself, is neither Black nor
White.. It’s really in a shade of grey. And one thing that I have learned
while being a Satanist is that, duality really exists in the universe so we
cannot ignore one side and accept the other. We need to learn to have a
balance and accept both sides as they both have a role in our lives.
Everything has a reason. If you run away from it, you’ll remain ignorant. If
you search for it, there’s a high probability that you’ll become wiser than
you expected. Life is full of mysteries. It is our mission to solve them all.
But for that, again, I must get back to what I said at the beginning of the
essay… We must stay honest ! And also, as I stated many times in my
essays, we must be self-taught. Because we all experience life in our own
ways. What is true for someone may not be true to you. That is, if a
homosexual tells you that ass is better than pussy, that is not a rule. Its
something true to him, and may not be true to you. Get it ?..
For that I must tell you, dear reader, IF you are a Satanist and are
seeking wisdom, do not seek for it in books, on the internet or whatever.
Seek it in yourself ! In your life ! Forget about all the bullshit you have
learned on the internet, trying to understand the nature of wisdom. The
true nature of wisdom is in yourself, because wisdom is life, and for you, it
is YOUR LIFE. Trust me on this. What you learned from the internet, in
proportion of about 90% is also known to me. I took about the entire
satanic community on the internet, been a part of many organizations, been
studying a lot of crap that’s out there. And I don’t think more than 10% of
that has turned out to be true. I know there are some organizations out
there that have helped you. Many helped me too. They give you hints, but
just that. You’ll not learn wisdom, not even in this book. This book is just
an introduction, an example. Let’s say it is the basics that apply to everyone
when it comes to the true nature of wisdom and religious path. I may tell
you how the road looks, I may tell you where it will take you to, but I just
cannot say what you will encounter on your way. It is up to you to walk
down the path and find out. So the first ‘lesson’ in this book is about YOU
being YOU, being ALONE.
From my point of view, the Egotrist is a lonely wolf that from time
to time preys the flock of sheep.. but not because of hunger.. just for his
own amusement.
Egotrism is a dark religion, tough, full of dangers for those who try
to follow this path (full of traps, not permitting anyone to get to the top).
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As for the gods.. I see the gods as good friends. But, from my point
of view, a good friend is one who offers you a solid bed when you need
rest, and who doesn’t hesitate to mislead you every time you are
insecure/uncertain. In other words, the gods are both your enemies and
your friends. And because of that, they give you this treatment from which
you either resign or succeed and get to the top. You know that saying
“What does not kill only makes stronger”. Its something true in Satanism
as well. Even more, it is considered by some a real Satanic theory (and is
one of the 21 Satanic Points in O.N.A.’s Black Book Of Satan).
It is true. Egotrism is what most of you didn’t expect. Thus many
of ‘you’ either deny its nature, or run away from it. Some are not made for
this. It is a path that one has to face many difficulties alone. It is a very
tough and dark path.. sometimes very extreme. You may learn about things
that you will not accept, because not everything is the way you want and
like in this universe. But my dear friend.. if you want to play about life, then
do so. That’s simple, that’s fun. But you will not achieve anything with this
in your life. It will not help you. Egotrism is not about fun. Here reward
comes after work.
The philosophy of Egotrism is the philosophy of life in many ways
(and I’ll explain what I mean by that soon in this book), and it is something
that the normal individual will not get to understand even in his 90’s. The
normal individual is a dead individual for he seeks wisdom not in
spirituality and life, but in the oddest places and most complicated material
of books and articles full of undecipherable information. We live in this
world and don’t have the eyes to see its beauty. We live in this world and
don’t realize that it is from LIFE ITSELF that we need to take our
knowledge from.
The normal individual does not believe in such knowledge because
he doesn’t see it. In order to see it, you must seek it. And to seek it, you
must be serious about it. Most of the wisest people, were/are spiritual
people.. Why do you think is that?.. life is much more than you see with
your eyes. This Universe in which you, dear reader, are living in, is far more
complex than it seems. We as Egotrists, or should I say, as HUMANS,
need to see life exactly as it is, and live it. In life there are good times and
bad times.. Egotrism teaches us how to enjoy the good times and to stay
away from or handle the bad times. It is a very practical religion. It’s not
just a prayer, a ritual.. It’s a real way of life. Egotrism teaches us to be self-
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taught and to learn how to develop ourselves spiritually but also mentally
and sometimes even physically.
It teaches us how to face any challenge, to fight it and be a fighter,
not a coward who kneels in front of a god to help him.. No. Egotrism puts
YOU to solve your problems ALONE. Because only in this way you can
evolve. Working alone. A man who doesn’t know how to live and to enjoy
life is a dead man. A man who doesn’t know how to live and doesn’t know
how to survive by himself is a parasite. Such a person is a Christian (just an
example.. but the best example I can give). I really pity them. Because that
man will never be able to evolve and will always limit himself to what he
learned from the Church.. when it is tough, pray and wait.. Yes. Pray, wait
and do nothing. Egotrism puts the individual to fight, to do anything he
can to go beyond any barrier.
The 'Law Of The Fist' is not the inconvenient just as the 'Law of
the Mind' is not the only one "reasonable" It's something in between.
Christians however, are not all cheap assholes. There are some very
superior. Few, but there are.. But it’s the thing that they are limited by
many things that we, Egotrists are not. Things that for us humans, are
NATURAL. Like Nietzsche said, there’s nothing worse and more injurious
than Christianity. Christianity is not a religion of love. Love is not
something you give unconditionally. True love is the one honest and
earned, that comes with a reason.
Christianity is a religion of the tyrants, of death. Besides the fact
that it grew to power through violence and not for the good of it, this
religion keeps man away from spiritual, mental and even physical evolution.
How ? Very simple.. Here’s an example. A Christian isn’t allowed
(theoretically) to use magick (though they use it unconsciously in their
ceremonies) or to meditate. Magick and meditation are two essential
activities of man.. because man is a spiritual being. Man before getting to
know the world or divinity must get to know himself. Without you
knowing yourself truly, you cannot truly understand the world you live in
because you will not understand how this world is influencing you.
To get to know yourself it is needed to go through some stages.
Some of this stages are forbidden in Christianity. An example of such a
stage is to get to know your negative side. Any man has a negative and a
positive side. To get to know yourself truly you must understand both sides
of your being. A psychiatrist named C.G.Jung, perhaps you’ve heard of
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him, said something like “Illumination is not reached by visualizing the
light, but by exploring the darkness”. The ‘darkness’ is a mirror of the
depths of the soul. All that is hidden inside us, our desires and our fears, is
projected on the darkness. The ‘darkness’ is that part of your soul where all
your secrets and answers are hidden. A big part of your essence. In order to
illuminate yourself you need to explore this dark side of your soul. Here
you will find many negative things.
Christianity forbids this. Egotrism on the other hand, teaches you
how to do this. Egotrism is about this dark side of the soul and the light
side of the soul.
In real spirituality there is no good and evil. Here Good and Evil do not
matter anymore, don’t even exist. These are just human terms and
conceptions. What is in real spirituality is beyond good and evil. It goes
beyond these borders. It passes from a human limit. In spirituality
however, there is power and power you can take. Its about the weak and
the strong. The weak die and the strong survive. That’s NATURE. You
have to learn to take advantage of someone’s weakness, so you may
become stronger. All the Right Hand Path religions (Christianity, Islamism,
Judaism, Buddhism etc) don’t teach this. They teach of a good and evil of
which they don’t know the balance of it. They are based only on a “good”
as they defined it. But its really a shade of grey. What can be bad for
someone, can be good for someone else. If you’re selling at a market stall,
and I come to steal from you, it is bad for you.. but it is good for me. For
Christians and Buddhists and whatever this is totally bad. Man needs to
learn to be smart not fair. Especially in the 21st century. If you’re not smart
you don’t handle life, and die. Cheating, deceiving, treachery.. these are all
part of human’s nature. If I cheat, its good.. if I’m cheated its bad.. Like I
said, you need to learn to be smart (maybe that’s not the right word) and
cunning and to take advantage of any occasion to survive. In Egotrism
you’ll learn just that. All the positive AND negative aspects of life. In life,
in order to really have success, there are times when you need to learn how
to “walk over bodies”. All successful people that you see have at least once
walked over bodies in their lives to get success. This, however, is not a
necessity. But it is a modality.
Everything you do you do it for yourself. Not for God or for Satan.
The gods do not come to put bread on your table. But can teach you and
push you from behind to be able to win that bread by yourself. And for
that, They deserve our respect, our gratitude.
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Egotrism is all about life and nature. It teaches you how to respect
and embrace your nature. SEX. Sex is a very important element in
Egotrism, for many reasons. First of all because its part of man’s nature. Its
something biological that we need. Why stay away from something that is
part of YOUR NATURE ? Egotrism urges man to embrace his nature as it
is, “good” or “bad”. For us there is no such thing as sin. But we are all
responsible for our actions. Like, it is not a sin for us to cheat and steal..
But you are responsible for your action. So, if you get caught you’re fucked,
and that’s all because of YOU, and you must assume responsibility. Me, I
don’t want good nor evil. I want power.
That’s what it really matters in this world. Power.. If you look at
animals.. They’re fighting on food, right ? The animal that is smarter or
stronger wins the prey and leaves the weaker with an empty stomach.
That’s NATURE. Life is not always fair and will never be, because fairness
again, is just a human conception. Spirituality and nature aren’t based on
human conceptions, on what humans believe to be “fair”. In life you must
learn how to win and how to lose. Without losing you will never know
what it really means to win.
And really, you’d be wrong if you said that animals don’t have
ratiocination. That’s what its believed, but many recent studies prove they
do have ratiocination. Let me give you an example. What I’ve seen on the
news.. There was a child who ran away from home, and got into the woods
and it began to snow.. It was only him and his dog. You know what his dog
did ? He realized that the child was freezing and that he will die of cold, so
the dog covered the man with his fur, he attached his body to the body of
the child to make him warm and kept him like that to the next day morning
when people found them. Why the dog did that? Because the child was his
master and he loved him. And not only “man’s best friend”. Dogs are loyal
to us because they got used to us. But to give another example.. I
remember another thing from the news I saw few years ago. A Tarzan-like
woman was found in the forest after living there for about 20 years. She
was fed and protected by monkeys or some animals I don’t remember..
Cool huh ?
In conclusion, we have to learn to respect nature.. our nature as
humans, and the nature around us. Ecologists are some people that have
understood this and unlike others, they are more illuminated. Why ? Not
because they love nature for just its beauty. That’s a reason.. Another
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reason more important is that they understood that we depend on nature.
Without nature, we would die.
Like I was saying. Life is far more than it appears. Once you get to
know it, you fall in love with it. If you have a simple life, and say it is
beautiful now at 20 years of your life, you say it because you have fun
dancing, going to bars, pubs and clubs, talking to friends, playing
videogames etc. But at a moment, all of these will get to appear so simple
that they won’t truly satisfy you anymore. If you have a complex life, and
you’re based on spirituality, on nature, on life for real, there will always be
something beautiful to learn about life. There are no limits from this point
of view. Spirituality and nature offer us much more than we think. There
will always be new things to do, to learn.. But only if you are opened to
them. If you, in your ignorance, without knowing them, say they don’t exist
or that they’re not important, you will never understand the true beauty of
life.
Christianity denies this type of life. That’s why from my point of
view, Christianity is a religion of DEATH. All that was once good and
natural for people (for the pagans) was transformed by Christians into
something evil and sinful. People that were praying to the Gods in peace
and love were then transformed into witches who pray to Demons to do
harm.. Do you observe the contrast ? Satanism and Egotrism in a way, are
part of paganism because they connect exactly to their theory of life. And
that’s why Egotrism, Satanism and Paganism are, to Christians, so for the
great mass of people, “bad” things.. negative things. In reality however, it is
not really like that. It is true, Egotrism, especially the one that I practice,
has many negative points and is a more extreme religion. But that’s part of
nature.
In Egotrism as in life, there are positive and negative elements..
You need to know how to balance these to be able to live a balanced life.
A normal individual would say that religion, meditation, magick and
all this stuff are too much for him and that they surpass him. The truth is,
that HE limits HIMSELF and says that they surpass him. Because he
doesn’t truly know himself, and doesn’t know his real capability to live.
Religion, meditation, magick etc is for everyone just as life and nature and
spirituality are for everyone. Its just that we alone put in front of ourselves
these limits and say that it is not possible or true or that we can’t do this or
that. Honestly, in all this time of study the only satanic source that I have
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found to share these notions and beliefs is the organization Order Of The
Nine Angles that I haven’t yet studied enough. However I remember a
quote from O.N.A.’s Black Book Of Satan and it was saying “Learn to
raise yourself above yourself so you can triumph over all”. That, my friend,
is something that you must keep in your mind and heart all your life.
The life of the Egotrist is unfortunately a lonely and hard life. You
cannot rely on anyone. I thought I had people to guide me. I was wrong. It
so happened that I had to continue my path alone. And it so happened that
this path I chose turned out to be a dangerous and hard one.
There will be times when you will face dangers. There will be times
to make impossible decisions. There will be times when you’ll fall to the
ground and you will have to rise up alone. There will be sacrifices that you
will have to make. There will be evil to make that is probably not in your
nature to do. But you will need to do it. You will have to go through all of
this. Egotrism is more than just a religion. It’s a way of living, a path that
can take you to great wisdom.. But great wisdom is achieved through work
and sacrifice. It is a way that will make you achieve far more with your life
than you realize.
You will find that Egotrism is more than just mystical rituals and
religious indoctrination. It is really, a practical mission through life.
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Religionist – To be or not to be (a sermon)
Quite often I meet these.. people, who call themselves religionists
and who, at the first sight seem to be real spiritual persons, truly bound up
with the divine. Not only are they well informed, but they are also very into
it. They spend a lot of their time talking or studying about religion.
However, most of them have a small problem. They do not know why they
are doing all of this. Ironically, I’ve questioned them out of curiosity, why
they worship God or Satan or X or Y and why are they religious. While
some of them admitted they didn’t know the right answer, others gave me
some responses that got me on the floor laughing like an idiot. For
example, I once questioned a girl who kept telling me of her great
relationship with Satan, and this is what she said (word by word) : “I
believe there are many kinds of souls. A part of these souls have been
created by demons. I believe that I am one of them because if I wasn’t I
would have not got at this point.” Naturally, I started laughing but then I
thought “Is she serious?!”. I mean, come on ! I always thought of Satanists
as being smart people who don’t live “on another planet”. I mean, even a
Christian would say “well I believe that God is my creator and I love him
for that” and it would be better than that.
Well of course, it is her belief and I can’t really judge this. But it got
me thinking. If I was in her place, how much imagination should I have to
create such a belief? How much imagination does it take to create a world
of illusion in which one may truly believe?
I’m not like this, and I’m not saying this to seem like a smart ass or
something, but I like to question my beliefs and everything I see and hear.
There is a golden rule in the occult which I love to follow: “Question
everything!” .
I like to believe in what I know to be true. I always hated people
who follow blindly something created in their minds, yet not having a drop
of reality in their beliefs. First of all because we live in the 21st century, a
time of reason and truth. I like to believe that man has evolved since the
Middle Ages. But when I stumble upon these fellows I start worrying. It’s
like that guy you see on the street. If you ask him what he believes in, he
will proudly say “I believe in God”. If you ask him why, the bomb hits : “I
like to believe there is someone up there who takes care of me.” .
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It is cute, I can’t deny this. Yes, anyone can create his own
‘religion’. In fact, I really encourage everyone to do so, but I also suggest
sticking on to reality and building beliefs on proof, on experience, not on
imagination. Because in this way, you can evolve. You can get somewhere..
anywhere.
I really think that if you believe in something, you need to have
proof. A small proof, a piece of reality. At least that’s how I am. I like to
think that my beliefs are as real as they may get and that I’m not heading
towards an ape-like creature. I believe in what I see.. The sun ? Yes, it’s
right up there shining. I believe in it. I know it’s there.
God or Satan ? Yes, They’re right beside me, have Their hands on
my shoulder turning me to the right path. They proved to me that They
exist by presenting Themselves to me, by manifesting Themselves on both
the spiritual and material realm. I know, I have my proof.
But no, my dear reader.. I am not saying I hold the supreme truth. I
too have many questions, and not always do I find an answer. Like for
example, I simply have no clue how come I’m here, how come this planet
exists and how life began. Hell knows, maybe God really did wave his
hands and created all of this. Or maybe Big Bang. I don’t know. I could
imagine, of course, but that wouldn’t be any truth, right ? I would blindly
believe. Of course, I don’t even care of the creation of the world. There are
other things that I need to understand in my life, and I don’t have time to
search for such answers. I’m concerned about the present and the future,
about myself and my gods. I do not wish to use my mind to invent answers
in my limited mind (limited because we, as humans, cannot understand
many things regarding our nature, our world and the spiritual world.. that’s
why these are called ‘mysteries’), but instead use it to understand what I
could do to become better, wiser, smarter, stronger. E-V-O-L-U-T-I-O-N .
You know ?..
Getting back to that girl I was talking about. What I told her, I’ll tell
you too. In order to understand the world and the divine, you must first
understand yourself. They are a part of you. If you cannot understand
yourself, your nature, your abilities and your secrets, you will never get to
know the world around you . I mean, you will not understand the beauty of
it all, if you can’t judge by how it’s affecting your life (like Satan, for
example. Why would you follow Satan if you can’t realize what he really
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does for you?) . You know, life is beautiful . And it would be a real shame
if you lived it in a lie and imagination. Stay in touch with reality, first of all.
There are times when you may love what you see and there are
times when you hate what you see but the important thing is that you see
the real thing . You need to understand what’s in front of you to exceed it.
Egotrism is a religion of reason, of reality, not of imagination. Egotrism is
life in my point of view. It is the life of the Egotrist. And that’s why I
advice you to stay real. Taking this advice is doing yourself a favour, not to
me, to God or to Satan, but to yourself. I’m not giving you this advice
because I want to appear a smart ass, but because I did the same and it
worked perfectly fine. Not all the time, but most of the time, when I
followed my instinct, when I examined the world and when I put my brain
in action to understand myself, then I understood what I have to do and
what I need to believe in (either if it’s God, Satan, myself, or whatever..) to
go beyond any obstacle and to surpass myself .
Also, you must stop believing everything you hear from other
people. Especially when it comes to religion and spiritual belief. You know,
that once you started believing in what they say, that belief you got is
actually not yours, but theirs ? You need to build up your own beliefs (or
your own kind of religion) . Start using your brain, man. Stay real, stay
honest (with yourself at least), and the truth will come.
If this is truly important to you, than make sure you get it right. If
God or Satan are truly important to you, make sure you get to know Them
personally, not by what X said They are like. If you don’t do this, then you
won’t understand your own beliefs and you won’t be a part of them.
Especially not in the eyes of these GODS.

If it is something there, in your soul, search for it well.. It will be
clear as crystal, once you’ve understood yourself. Trust me!
Think about yourself, and be honest with yourself, and then think
about the gods and why you follow Them .
Me.. I worshiped Satan because I considered Him to be The
Supreme Truth, The Perfection. I learned many things about myself in this
life I had as a Satanist, but there were still many things I didn’t understand.
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And for that, I sought Satan’s guidance, Satan’s wisdom to find and
understand, first of all, myself, and then the world I live in. I NEEDED
HIM . I needed to know myself and my nature, I needed to know my God
and His nature, I needed to know the world, life and death, love and hate..
everything. But for that, I had to start from the bottom to get to the top.
And for that, I had Satan as my guide and teacher. That’s why I
worshipped Him.
I don’t wish to be arrogant, but it just bothers me.. the thing that
many people who call themselves Christians, Jews, Moslems, Satanists etc.
don’t even know why they do what they do, why they believe in what they
believe.
And for fuck’s sake man ! There are even those assholes who come
with such a pride telling me how they are members or High Priests of a
great satanic coven/group/organization, or how much they read about
Satanism, and who can’t even answer this simple question. I don’t care who
you “hang out” with, I don’t care how many books you read. And for your
personal information, know too that you won’t find TRUE Satanism in
books. In my opinion, books don’t matter in Satanism. Only if you wish to
practice magick or want to learn about the past and OTHER people’s
views and experiences with Satan . That’s why there isn’t a ‘bible’ in
Satanism. Because we are all different people and we experience Satan
differently. If my experiences with Satan made me change my stand and
become a lonely soul, that doesn’t mean that you are forced to do it as well.
We have free will. We have our lives in our hands.
To learn about nature, you need experiences . To learn from the
‘source’(nature itself), and from the soul. Open up your heart and search
within your soul. The truth is in yourself, it is that dark spot in which your
true essence is hidden and it is up to you to discover it.
Those who follow blindly, are the people that, in exchange for a
house and car, would give away all their beliefs . The people that would
leave God if you gave them X dollars, and the next day you’d see them
having orgies with animals of all sorts. The people that would leave Satan
for Y dollars, and the next day you’d see them sucking cock in the church .

I repeat : All is in your soul.
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Emotions and Intentions
In today’s world man has to face challenges all the time. There’s a
continuous battle for domination and only the strong ‘survive’. We as
humans have weaknesses of all sorts, but compared to the other beings on
this Earth, we are more intelligent. Intelligence is what makes man stronger
and of course, more dangerous than any other animal. It is our nature to
dominate on this Earth.. but is it true that we need to dominate each other
? Can’t there be no peace ? ….. the answer is obvious : NO. If there was
peace there would be no real rules, everyone would be considered equal
and no one would bother to get what he truly deserves. It is our nature to
be greedy and it is our right. As I said before, we have our lives in our
hands and we either live and dominate, or die submitting. We choose our
destinies and we fight to reach our goals in life to become the masters, to
really enjoy and evolve. If anyone tells you different he’s either ignorant or
a liar who wants to play you. Nothing is more clear than this. Everywhere
you look you see competition which most of the times turns into conflict.
We use all our ‘artillery’ to fight and win ground. We lie, we steal, we kill..
for the good of ourselves. The only ones we truly care about are ourselves.
And why not ? Aren’t YOU a special one ?
In a war of manipulation and domination man faces traps and
attacks from all sides and needs to sleep with his eyes opened all the time.
Either if it’s a physical war, a mental war or a spiritual war, we all have our
abilities to use for our use. Some have the muscle, others have the brain
and others have the spirit. All those combined make the perfect weapon.
But neither muscle or spirit can be used without the mind. The mind
controls everything. If a K1 fighter haven’t learned to throw a punch
correctly, he is doomed in front of a smaller opponent for the simple fact
that his mind doesn’t tell him how to use his body. If a Magickian hasn’t
learned to direct energy, he is doomed in front of a another magickian for
the simple fact that his mind doesn’t tell him how to use that energy.
Indeed there’s war on all plans. But the important battles of the individual
are those hidden from the eyes of the others..

"Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a
thunderbolt" - Sun Tzu
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The battles we carry all our lives are those with ourselves. We are
controlled by different factors which we need to get rid of. Such factors
may be internal (emotions, intentions etc) or external (interruptions,
influences). The factors I’ll be talking about now are those of internal
nature because they are basic and without them we cannot control the
others.
These internal factors are part of the weaknesses I was talking
about earlier. They are what makes us stronger or weaker, depending on
how we use them and when. Beginning with our emotions, we start by
saying that which is no mystery : We all have them. They are parts of
ourselves and like we use our legs and arms we need to use them too. We
have left arms and legs, we have right arms and legs, and we have ‘good’
emotions and ‘bad’ emotions. We use each of them in the necessary case.
The right hand is for writing, the left hand is for.. waving ?! The same goes
with emotions.
Depending on each emotion, we use it at the right time for the
right thing or this little mistake can cause serious damage. For example :
Love is a beautiful emotion when it is shared. But when shared for the
wrong reasons, with the wrong person, it becomes our mortal enemy. It
destroys us. It is an emotion that can lift you to the sky or bury you in the
ground. It is a strong emotion, probably because most of us don’t have
much part of it and we THINK we need it. It is an emotion that can last a
long time, or can never disappear and haunt you all your life. People say
that no one should fuck with your feelings.. In reality, they are already
doing so. We need to learn how to control these emotions and not let them
control ourselves, because once they control us, the external factors come
in and then you’re fucked. For example :
Many confuse passion (or as they say… the butterflies in the
stomach) with love. The difference is that passion is passing, while love can
become an eternal emotion. It is a devotion. I know how it is, because I’ve
been through this in a very extreme way back in my teens, and in my
naivety I’ve fought to maintain this emotion longer in the hope that it will
be returned. And I’ve learned a lot from that… I had both happiness and
misery. Honestly, I’m extremely grateful for this. There really are many
obstacles that you need to surpass when you love someone, and those
obstacles aren’t always easy. And to be able to maintain this emotion, it is
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needed time, judgement, power and experience.. like.. the fact that you had
a relationship, or two, or TWENTY-TWO… doesn’t matter. Especially at
an early age, when you are at the beginning, when you are young, when it’s
time to learn. To learn what is suffering, what is respect, what is
understanding… and then, learn what is LOVE and how to face it. I really
don’t want to philosophize too much here, but I really consider that this
emotion is extremely powerful and complex and you need to learn how to
handle it. And that’s exactly why I consider that experience is needed. You
can be with a person 1 year, 2, 10… to be able to keep a relationship you
need to know how to act, what to ask for, how to think, what to do.. to
learn your partner. Then, after more relationships, experiences, you will be
able to distinguish LOVE from those butterflies in your stomach or even
OBSESSION. Love is not obsession even though, many times it gets to
this and it’s really fucked up.
That’s what I have felt and can speak from experience how it can
bring you down so easily if you let it. If you’re a cunning and smart
individual you can manipulate the man in such a way that you can make
him love you with all of his pink ‘heart’.
Love is created by the mind actually. All begins from the mind.
And when you love, you practically use your mind in this and the rational
part is far away, and for that you are a very vulnerable target and your
partner can anytime do what he wishes with your mind. Be careful who,
why and how you love. *wink*. You need to be a little son-of-a-bitch.
Learn that there is nothing better than love and respect for yourself. Love
yourself deeply, there is no greater love !
When I was about 13 or 14 y.o., I was what some people call ‘a
natural’.. and I was playing girls like toys. Maybe because of my theatrical
talent. *grins*. Maybe I lost my charm, my talent. But I’ve recovered a lot
of my skills with the help of some books (see ? books are GOOD!). I only
used half of what I learned and I got to get a beautiful girl in bed after
meeting her few hours earlier (she had a boyfriend for 3 years.. and a big
one!). And you know what ? Every man has this ability ! Only that women
are more cunning and know how to use it better. They are beautiful and
know how to use that. Men are good in many things, but we are sexually
dominated by women and because of this domination, a woman can make
us slaves very easily. Their biggest talent and power is in sexuality. Because
in the past she had a lot to suffer because of it. She was considered inferior
from all points of view and she learned from experience that in sexuality
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she is the expert. That’s why many women are ‘bitches’ and don’t say ‘hey,
hi, let’s fuck’ too quickly. Because they have great vainglory and don’t want
to be stepped on like in the past and don’t want to give up so easily this
ability they have.
I have two major dreams in my life. A man with no dream has no
real happiness and purpose in life. The first dream is to become a master in
communication and manipulation. To become a master seducer. The
second dream is to become an expert in sexuality. If I learn these two
perfectly, my life will change radically. You see the world different, and you
live at a higher level. With words and some gestures I could make a girl wet
her pussy if I wanted. Using neuro-linguistic-programming (NLP) in the
field of seduction is like using a bazooka in a gun fight.
(short real story) X was my girlfriend. She was a few years older
than me and she was in love with me in my ‘natural’ period. Y was her best
friend. With those poor girls I played very ugly especially with X. She was
not stupid at all. She was very intelligent.. but she was just.. in love. I was
with her for about a month. One day I got bored. I was with her in a bar
and at another table, right in front of X’s table, was Y. I got up, went to Y,
kissed her in front of X and then sent her an text message (SMS) and told
her we’re breaking up and that I have my reasons. After two days I saw X
again.. in few hours she was naked in my bed. I played her really bad. I was
playing theatrical, a nominee for the Oscars. If she was being late at our
date I was pretending to be upset, I’d tell her that I waited a lot and that I
really missed her and then I didn’t want to stay with her anymore and want
to go home. She was crying, poor girl, and I was going to another
girlfriend, Z, who was 5 years older than me and were looking like my
mother.
I’m not a great beauty and I’m not that interesting either. But I
have a quality.. I’m intelligent. All I have is my mind and in the club on the
dancefloor, no one can see that and no hot chick may come invite me to
dance. I need to work for it.
You just need to learn to control or at least hide your emotions.
You wanna know how I am able to pick up a really hot chick without no
emotion ? I imagine how she was looking like when she was 13 full of acne.
It’s a method I learned from a book. But beauty is a big plus with those
who fall for it. If you know how to use it, you can get really good. You
know how many girls had me to their finger ? MY GODS ! I’ve been in
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love as well. I still have difficulties controlling my emotions when I’m in
love and I try not to fuck it up.
And not only your ‘lover’ can play with you. If you show the world
how sensitive you are about him/her, they can play you like an accordion.
It happened to me. I still remember it, how I was having at my messenger
status “Andreea, I will always love you I’m yours forever” (I was 15, don’t
laugh bitch) and was having at my avatar a picture of her. And
someone asks me “is that Andreea at your avatar? I’ve seen her few days
ago at a party when she was licking with some doctor”. Without thinking
rationally, it fucked me up. I didn’t know how to hide my emotions and for
that I had to suffer. People took advantage of me. Either out of interest or
for fun, they played me. Don’t make yourself conspicuous ! If you tell or
give to understand what’s the deal with you to the wrong people they will
get advantage of you. Few people know what trust and respect means. It’s
all business now.

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Practical, practical, practical…
One method that I use to put my thoughts in order and to connect
with myself on a more spiritual level is meditating outside in nature. Either
if it’s a park, the beach, a forest or the top of a mountain, it’s a good place
as long as it is quiet and deserted. The time doesn’t matter but it is
preferable to be a time when you are fresh to be able to concentrate and
not fall asleep. Go there and do this :

Spread your legs. As you lift up your arms you inhale than as you
slowly bring them down to your navel you exhale. You do that until you
relax and then sit down in the lotus position or a position that you feel
comfortable with. You can even lie down on your back. As you stay there,
close your eyes and begin to breathe slowly getting deep breaths and
exhaling slowly. Concentrate on your breathing until you feel relaxed and
your thoughts disappear. This might make a while and a little effort.
After becoming relaxed and winning over your mind, try to picture
yourself standing in the middle of nature while still having a slow and this
time relaxed breathing. Try and smell the nature, hear the nature, see the
nature. It is part of you. You connect to it. Feel how it nurtures you, how
all your senses are pleased by its energy and how peaceful you became. It is
time for you to ask Her (Nature) what She thinks about you. She is your
Mother and cares about you. What makes her proud of you and what
disappoints her. Imagine how the wind whispers all the things that you
don’t know about you, all your defects and all your qualities. Be opened to
Mother nature, she knows best ! Trust her and be honest with Her. Analyze
the information and imprint it in your mind, don’t let anything slip out.
You know it now. It is YOU. Take one more deep breath and a slow
exhalation. Open your eyes. You are illuminated. Enjoy the knowledge
Mother Nature has given you.
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The Gods of Men. The Men of Gods
Here is an interesting subject. The Gods. By Gods I mean the two
principal ones, Jehovah and Lucifer. In Egotrism, who could they be ?.
By whatever name you call them, they represent divinity. The
Creator, The Ruler, God, Satan, Yahweh or The Devil. They just ARE.
You need to know that at least. They ARE and will ALWAYS BE. They
are present in every part of your life, They are everywhere. They are and
can be many things spiritually, scientifically, poetically. But the question is,
who are They to YOU ?
To find out the answer to that question you need, again, to
understand yourself. Simply because I KNOW and can assure you, that the
Gods are a part of YOU, even if They are totally different entities.
Some view them as archetypes, others as energy forms others as
real material entities.
In Hermetic tradition, there is one thing known as The All, the
Universe or Atum through which all energy flows. Similar to this is
Pleroma which refers to the totality of divine powers. In Christianity there
is God The Creator and Satan The Destroyer. In Egotrism… well its hard
to tell. We are all different individuals and can experience the Gods
differently. There is no rule for this in Egotrism because there is no proof,
no document, no nothing that explains exactly what or who They are. So
it’s all up to you to find out.
They can be teachers, spiritual parents, friends, gods… and many
other things or all these combined. It’s the relationship you have with
Them that makes Them something to you. Can’t be too objective so all
that is left for you is to experience and give a personal opinion. And that
personal opinion is good. Because it is true to you. No matter what I may
tell you, it’s just another opinion. The REAL TRUTH is in yourself. BUT..
be careful. A lot depends on how you answer. *grins* Imagination is a
virus. Dreams are for the weak, for the ignorant. Everything you do in life
is important and every thought is important because it represents you. You
don’t want to be represented by a lie, by a joke, I’m sure. The Gods
represent you ! .. and you represent Them.
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They are the original gods, who appeared in most of the religions
and cults from ancient times but under different names .
In essence they can be, indeed, entities with feelings and free will,
just like us . Belonging to the Spiritual/Astral World, they to not have a
peculiar form, an aspect through which we can recognize them . Because of
this, every time we get visual manifestations from them it is possible to
appear in different ways; of course, this also depends on the god’s
preferences: some of them choose a different appearance each time they
show themselves, others oscillate between few appearances ( it is possible
that they appear each time under a different appearance but, occasionally,
this appearances may repeat), others appear the same every time and others
prefer not to show themselves at all . Yet, in spite of this lack of precise
appearance, they can easily be identified depending on other senses . For
example, when invoking a god, be it Jehovah, Satan, an angel or a demon,
you can feel his presence (that of course, if he responded to your call)
because of his energy – and every god and spirit has a different aura .
Certainly there are other criterions left, but I will not dwell upon this
problem more than I already have .
In Egotrism They are our allies who we can count on when help is
needed, but we do not worship Them. Respect is essential however, and
giving something in exchange for their help is also a must. Learn never to
be dependent on them or you will regret that you ever thought of working
with them.
As they are Gods to us so are we are to them. While they posses
the astral world we are the masters of the material world, and as we need
them to work on the astral plane so do they need us to work on the
material realm.
From my own experiences with them I got to the point which
again, confirms my idea that everything is a shade of grey. And so are they.
They are neither bad nor good.
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Relationships with Gods
One’s relationship with the divine is very important when
practicing Egotrism. It is essential in the evolution of the individual. Just
like the child needs a parent, the Egotrist needs the gods to learn.Either if
he seeks guidance in life or experience in magick, the Egotrist needs to
establish a relationship with the gods. Only when the individual has began
to know and understand the divine forces and his surroundings will he be
able to delve into the true nature of life and thus learn it’s teachings and
obtain the wisdom that it has to offer.
In order to get to know and understand the gods, the Egotrist
needs to build up certain relationships with them. To do this, he must
make the first step by presenting himself to Them. It is very important that
you respectfully present yourself to the god and communicate with Him. It
is important that you open up your heart, and show them who you are and
what are your intentions. The gods are to be respected. They are not your
slaves. No matter what relationship you choose to have with Them, be it
business, friendship or whatever. If the God is respected, the relationship
will flow beautifully as if it was with a human being that you call a friend.
The Gods seem to be real emotional beings. They appreciate politeness and
honesty. If you wish to start working with them, you need to be honest.
With yourself and with the god.
A big mistake that people make when trying to work with the
divine is that when they wish to be helped by the gods, they do not come
as pupils in front of the master teachers, but rather as masters commanding
slaves to do things. They start off not by a polite introduction but by rudely
asking things like the god owes them anything. That is one reason why
most people either don’t have experiences with gods or get attacked by
them or simply find misfortune in their lives. As I said, gods are in MY
OPINION real emotional beings, just like us, and they like to be respected
. They do not owe you anything, and they are not slaves that bring you
what you want. If they are to help you, they will only if so they desire. Also,
know too, that gods are not here to just handle things to you. They do not
come and bring you this and that, but rather they show you the way to get
things yourself. This is why I consider them to be our true teachers.
Because they don’t simply give. They help us to become stronger and wiser
in order to be able to get things ourselves. Many people don’t realize this.
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They don’t even present themselves to the gods, they don’t show their
intentions. They come and beg or worse, command the gods to give them
what they want, but don’t give anything in return. They’re like children
begging for candy. Even the child should know that he must give
something in return for the candy, and that something is first of all respect
and joy. The same thing with these gods, for they are our teachers, and they
deserve our respect.
If you are to invoke and start working with gods, there are some
things that you must take in consideration. As I said, it is very important to
build a relationship with them, and so, to do that you need to communicate
with them often. You must do rituals daily, and present yourself and show
your trust. Just like in normal life, in order to get to know someone you
need to communicate and open yourselves .
Divine intervention is very important in Egotrism . Any ritual is
important no matter how difficult it is or the results it may have . You can
do a ritual with a single prayer . Through this small and simple ritual you
can show your respect and gratitude to the gods, you can thank Them, you
can ask for guidance, you can ask for help, you can ask for protection, etc.
This is very necessary in the relationship that the Egotrist has with the
Gods .
Egotrism is PRACTICED . And this practice is not always easy .
Getting back to the ritual I was talking about . That small ritual is
also important for maintaining a relationship with the gods . It is a proof of
respect and not only . The ritual must be done daily, thus your relationship
with Them may evolve . We can compare this relationship with a family . If
you don’t stay in touch, the relationship will be lost due to lack of interest.
This is very important to know . Many people lose their faith because the
ritual didn’t work or the god did not show or respond to their requests . It
is just like any other relationship you have with someone . Let’s say you ask
John (to which you spoke 2 or 3 times till’ now) from across the street to
help you move your furniture in the middle of the night . Will he bother to
help you ? No. But what if you asked your best friend ? Would he do it ?
YES . The same with the gods . If you have a good relation with them, if
you speak often, then they will answer and help you. Also know that rituals
must be done from the heart . Always be opened to the gods ! If you have
personal problems, ask Them for guidance and They will give it to you .
The Divine will ALWAYS show you the way . Just be confident .
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Right now, I’m going to give you some suggestions that might help you in
your relationship you want to have with a particular god. If you truly wish
to have a good communication, you have to work for it.
First of all, I suggest you make a personal grimoire (magick
book/journal) in which you are going to write down all your experiences
with the gods. By doing so, you will be able to keep track of your
experiences and their results, you will be able to see your progress in time,
and you will be able to unravel the problems and possible enigmas you
might encounter.
Second of all, I suggest that you meditate at least 10 minutes on the
god (and his sigil, if you wish to), before the invocation. Think of him, who
he is, what he means to you, what you want from him.. and let your
feelings flow. Then start your invocation as you use to. After you called the
god, you continue meditating and at the same time try to connect to him.
When you start feeling him, let the energy touch you and try to connect
yourself to that energy. Make a spiritual contact with the god. After that,
continue the ritual in a polite manner, and be opened to Him. Talk to Him.
Even in business respect is necessary in order to make things work well.
My third suggestion would be to take some days off, in which you
will do only rituals for the god. To get to ‘know each other’ better. Show
your interest, your intentions. In my own experience I’ve learned that deep
emotional content and deep concentration for a longer period of time is a
big plus at opening your senses that are to help you in your communication
with the divine spirits. The more you dedicate yourself to the action, the
more results you will achieve . This will also help you to get prepared
emotionally and spiritually and thus you will be more able to understand
the things that are to happen during your communication or meditation.
Your senses must be sharp. You need to realize what is REAL and what is
made by your subconscious. You must understand that your rituals and
magickal work should not be based only on presumption and hope. Even
though there might be some difficulties you are going to encounter during
your ritual practice (and afterwards), you must always be concentrated on
what you are doing. Pay maximum attention on what is going on around
you. You need to stay focused and watch out for any action that takes place
in your ritual space. Some people are not so good at sensing spirits.
The energy that the spirit transmits or it’s aura are not always easy
to be recognized, especially if the individual has not entered a specific
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spiritual/emotional state. I have met some people who, whenever they
were worshiping Satan or practicing Satanism/Demonolatry, were unsure
on what they were doing and what was happening around them when
doing a ritual and afterwards. I too had the same problem in the beginning.
I didn’t know how to talk to the Demons, I didn’t know what to do, what
to say, what to ask, what to think.. and what to expect. Even though I
never expected any great events to happen after or during my rituals, I did
want to see and realize if anything indeed happened because of what I have
done. And, even when the rituals had their results, I was still unsure.
Because they don’t always have results, and if they do, the results aren’t
always clear. I’m the type that doesn’t believe until he’s got proof, and so it
is quite difficult for me to be sure and understand certain things that
happen during and after ritual work.
Of course, it doesn’t always depend on the practitioner. Sometimes,
the gods are those who just aren’t prepared to work or eager to participate
in the ritual. If they consider they should help and participle, they will. But
if they don’t it doesn’t mean they didn’t listen or that the ritual didn’t
“work”. It means they just do not wish to participate. You see, the gods
will act only if they wish. It doesn’t matter how much effort you put into
your rituals if the entity does not want to work with you. For example,
there are some Demons that aren’t so friendly or simply don’t wish to work
with you. The Demon Rosier for example, is said to be a little “shy” when
working with people. Also, there are some Demons who respond only
when they wish to.
From my own experience I can say the Demoness Sonnelion is one
of them. When she wants to communicate, she comes to me when I least
expect it. But when I try to communicate with her, she rarely responds.
But.. if the god or spirit does want to work with you, and he is not too
direct (he doesn’t manifest in the physical realm through either sound,
smell or sight) then, as I said, you need to be careful at his responses . He
might answer to your invocations in many ways, and many times it’s hard
to see notice them. The most common way they make themselves be
known, is through senses of energy. Every spirit has an aura, an energy
which can be felt and recognized easily .
When a spirit manifests through this energy, your own aura starts
to recognize it, and thus you get to feel them just like if a physical person
was sitting next to you in a room. Even if you close your eyes, you can still
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feel the person next to you. But when a GOD comes, you feel it stronger
for they have a greater aura then us. I’ll give you an example.
I used to work a little with the demon Asmodeus few years ago.
When he was “making his entrance”, I always felt him the same way and
knew that it was him. I was feeling an extremely deep, dark force entering
the room, watching me, giving me signals now and then through electric
energy waves down my spine. What is most curious of all, is that another
friend of mine has the same sensations when working with Asmodeus.
Nevertheless, in order to have better experiences with them, you
need to work your way to that. You must know that, when practicing
Egotrism, there are some efforts that you must do before asking anything,
either from Jehovah or from Lucifer. Nothing comes free, and thus you
must do an effort and sometimes even give something in return. As I said,
the gods are just like us and so, some of them might ask for more than just
your time, patience, respect, trust and politeness. You need to learn how to
offer a part of yourself. Even if it’s in a symbolic way, or a “real gift”, you
have to give something in return.
Many people have asked me, what do the Gods get from us. Well,
the first thing they get from us is energy . When the Demon manifests
himself, he looses energy and so, he needs to use our energy. For example,
when you worship there is a transference of positive energy that the
Demon uses . Some people choose to offer blood, semen, sweat or even
hair. These parts of ourselves contain energy. They contain life.
Things that the Gods appreciate most are pacts. It’s very much like
business, we all need something to gain. They might need you to do things
for them, or they might need your own body to use for themselves. There
are many things they need, just be careful what you decide to offer. You
soul is not for sale.
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The magick inside you
I’d like to talk about magick in this book from a more theoretical
point of view because in my opinion, it is necessary to understand its
nature and connection to Egotrism.
Now first of all allow me to explain in short what is magick and
how it works so that any individual who reads this book may know what
Egotrism can do for the individual in reality.
Spelled with a K so it may not be confused with illusionism, magick
has been defined as “the science and art of causing change to occur in
conformity with the will”(A.Crowley). A magickal act is any act that takes
place by the intention of the individual, be it a mundane act or a
paranormal act. When referring to the spiritual/paranormal act, a ritual is
sometimes necessary for the action to be prepared and to be put at work.
Everything in magick is in my opinion psychological and physical
and can be explained scientifically. According to physics, the entire
universe is created by energy. All the life forms, nature and the elements,
the aether, are composed of energy. All matter including us is created by
tiny particles like subatomic particles, atoms, molecules, cells and
organisms.
The spirit itself, could be created by these as well. For example,
when somebody dies it is said that their spirit departs from the body.
Theoretically, this is true. If the spirit is created by particles, when the body
dies it immediately starts to decompose and the atoms detach from the
other particles. If this theory is true, then that answers to three more
mysteries. If there is life after death, how can God or whatever spiritual
entity be in many places simultaneously and how spirits take form and
operate in the physical world. If the spirit is made of particles, then he can
unite more particles and put them together to create a material body. But
how can God or the spirit be in many places simultaneously ?
As I was saying, when the body dies the particles detach and they
go and spread into the aether. As for life after death, this is a delicate
subject. If we are talking about consciousness, there are two ways to view
this problem.
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If consciousness was completely dependent upon the body (the
brain) than afterlife does not exist. If consciousness was not dependent
upon the body but it was comprised of energy which never truly dies yet
changes form, than afterlife is a possibility. This could explain past life
experiences and traits in humans that they did not develop in their
evolution. For example, I’ve seen on the TV something very interesting. A
woman who has been through an organ transplant (I don’t remember what
organ it was) started having different traits that the person who gave her
the organ had.
The donor was a black male in his 20’s who was practicing martial
arts and was listening to Hip Hop music. After the women got the organ
from him, she started practicing contact sports and started listening to Hip
Hop. What is more interesting, is that she knew lyrics from songs she never
heard before. This could be explained if the particles in the organ were
transmitted from one person to the other.
Another interesting story that I’ve heard on a podcast on the
internet about past lives, is about a boy who remembered things from
another life. The boy who I remember being about 8 y.o. kept telling his
mom that he used to be a soldier and he died on the battle-front. His
mother exasperated by the boy’s insistence, took him to a hypnotist. When
the boy was put under hypnosis he changed his personality completely and
started giving details about the war, the gun in his hand, the dead people
around him and the place he died. Shocked by the information the boy
given them, they decided to look for the place he talked about.
They found the place exactly as he described it even though he
never seen it or been there in that life. This could be explained as such.
When a person dies and the particles/energy leave his body they go into
the aether when they combine with other particles and create another spirit
which will be born into a physical body through the DNA of the parents.
Stories like this are everywhere. I remember a shocking yet real
story about a girl who was terrified by fire and kept saying she died when
her house got on fire. When her parents found the details, they went to the
house she talked about and found out that indeed 5 persons died there by
arson and found out that the names the girl talked about were the names of
those who lived there.
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Getting back to the subject of magick, now knowing about the
energies, we can understand how they can be used to cause change in
conformity with will.
Magick is of many kinds and has many techniques. There are
curses, blessings and consecrations, purifications, invocation and evocation,
banishing, divination etc. There are many systems of magick like
Ceremonial Magick, Chaos Magick, Demonic Magick, Enochian, Sex
Magick etc. It is used for many things, to change, create or destroy. To
change the weather, to heal or destroy, to travel, to seduce etc. The way
magick is done varies as well by method, but the main idea is that it
represents the manipulation of energy.
The energy is everywhere in the Universe and in us, and it connects
us to everything. If it connects us to everything that means that we have a
way to change everything using these energies. The magickian, using his
mind, can direct the energies from himself to change the energies outside
himself. This is magickal control. It comes from the mind. As I said, it is
psychological. For example, usually in the magickal rituals there are some
practices that hold a purpose somehow advantageous for the practitioner.
These practices, called by some “procedures of ceremonial
magick”, have the role to maintain the psychological condition, spiritual
condition and concentration of the practitioner by stimulating senses such
as smell (the perfumes, incenses etc.), hearing (the bell, the invocations)
and sight (robes, candles, accessories etc). All of these create the occult
ceremonial atmosphere, which can be used and organized by the
practitioner according to his will.
Essentially magick, and here I’m actually talking about ceremonial
magick, represents a modality through which the individual is creating his
rituals, so that the procedures he is using may have an effect over him .
Each and every practitioner intercepts these effects differently, so
therefore, some choose to renounce few practices ( for example : not many
people can concentrate with the help of music, while others succeed in
creating a pleasant atmosphere with it . Some do not consider incenses and
perfumes important while others can relax with the help of fragrances )
Magick is, from my point of view, an art . And for those who are
attracted to it, it may be of great use .
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Lets take music for example .Music in ritual is quite a pleasant and
efficient method to create atmosphere . With the help of music you can
maintain your concentration and spiritual condition, and more important, it
has been recommended by many for Spirit contact . A lot of people affirm
that spirits have musical taste . I consider this to be true, even though I
haven’t used it in invocations . But usually when I do a simple ritual, I put
some ambient music. It gives me a good spiritual mood. It depends.
In covens the musical preferences vary and these usually reduce to
hymns and chants/religious songs . Practitioners who are solitary can
choose any genre they wish, starting from ambient music to metal . Yes,
there are people that choose to listen to black or death metal when they do
a ritual, and affirm that it helps them . Others don’t use music at all
because they cannot concentrate .
Music, just like the other procedures is a personal preference . They
all have an importance in ritual, so if you wish to personalize your rituals
do not hesitate to use any procedure that might be useful to you .
Symbolism, atmosphere, tradition.. all of these can create superb
rituals and give you the chance to express your feelings easier . That is my
opinion .
Although, I do agree that sometimes symbolism does not have any
use in some rituals . There are some practices that remove the rituals
signification/intention/purpose . For example : If you’re preparing for a
ritual, it’s traditional and complete form is sometimes based on the day that
the event is taking place, the moon phase, the hour, the location, and
sometimes even the pronunciation and intonation of your words should be
exact . The truth is that in any ritual, the most important thing is it’s
aim/purpose and not the arrangement. Otherwise the ritual will become a
theatre play . It is important what you feel . You can do a superb ritual,
extremely well-arranged and prepared and still it won’t work (or have any
meaning) . What matters the most is it’s meaning. If you feel that you do
not need all the preparations for it, then give them up . Prepare your ritual
as you wish, as you feel that might be more adequate . I remember there
was a guy who asked me what he needs to do so that a ritual may work .
He was asking if he arranged his altar well, if there is anything missing,
what he needs to say etc. I told him to say anything he wants, arrange his
altar how he wishes and to be creative, but never forget the rituals purpose
.
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I for one do prepare some rituals . It’s beautiful and it’s like giving
life to the rite when you’re organizing it . It depends on you, and it depends
on the ritual . For example, if you make a ritual for Eurynomous (which is
said to be the Demon of Death), then you can decorate the altar and the
room with accessories that represent death (for example. Skulls.) . If you
make a ritual for Rosier (Demon of Love) you can use roses or anything
that might represent love and passion.
I was speaking about tradition as well . For example, there are some
traditions in satanic rituals (like The Black Mass, The Initiation rite as
presented in the Black Book of Satan and other Satanist books) that require
blood spilling, sexual intercourse, screaming, swearing, spitting, laughing
and so on.
These rites are based a lot on symbolism . Many will say “Oh, well
this is just a revolt against Christianity . A blasphemy” or “Oh, this is just
an orgy for people who want to have sex . Satanism is not about that . We
need to evolve spiritually” . But these people have no idea why these
traditions have been used in rituals .
Almost all of these practices have a meaning in ritual . Through
carnal pleasure you can gain good spiritual energies and sensations suitable
for the rituals purpose. To make a good ceremonial rite you need to be
emotional. For that you need atmosphere. It is stimulating the brain in such
a way that it can direct energies better. But that doesn’t mean you need to
do the same.
If you feel you should do that, DO IT ! But make sure it has a
meaning for you (because it is possible that later you might think you
looked like an idiot . And I’m very serious about it.. It happened to many
people, and it’s wrong)
Now, another advice I can give especially for beginners . I know it
is quite difficult to prepare a ritual and organize it by yourself . In this case,
I suggest you study few basic rituals . Any ritual you find, in books (and if
you are a Satanist, I suggest you make sure that it’s a book about
SATANISM . not paganism and not wicca because they have different
traditions then Satanists.. wicca is “white light”, so they reject many things
that apply in Satanic traditions), in other people’s examples etc..
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Choose whatever you think it’s right for your rituals . Slowly
change things here and there, and construct your own ritual . I have been
worried about this too.. I think we all have, at the beginning . But after a
while you learn and it will be great fun constructing your rituals. I say.. Be
creative in your rituals ! Enjoy them ! Some people, actually most people do
rituals for magick, but that doesn’t mean that even a simple prayer or a
meditation can’t help.
However, there takes a lot of effort to do magick without
stimulating the subconscious. It is needed a trained mind to do that and
such a thing is reached only through meditation, mind control, trance etc.
Some people use psychedelic drugs, hallucinogens to stimulate their minds.
Whatever method you use, be sure you do it right or no result will be given.
In Egotrism magick can be combined and used exactly as I talked
about earlier. We do not have a certain system of magick we use, but rather
use several. Depending on the result and on the person, it can be added
anything that the practitioner wishes be it singing, laughing, sex or even
sacrifice.
The Egotrist uses magick to help him in his evolution and to
change the world around him. But magick is not a necessity for him. This is
after all, just another technique.
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Practical, practical, practical…
Below I’ve wrote a basic magickal ritual which I call “The Rite of
Ego”. This is an original Egotrist ritual that has the aim of creating a sub-
conscious entity like a god for the use of the practitioner in case he is not a
religious practitioner.

It is needed :

1. A strong imagination
2. A strong determination
3. A strong faith
4. Strong booze ! Drugs are welcomed if legal in your country.
5. A dagger, knife or sword
6. A cup or chalice
7. 4 standard pillar black candles
8. 1 taper candle of electric blue color and 1 taper candle of black
color
9. A bowl of steel or silver
10. A needle

The altar :
You will need a table to use as an altar . Get some black cloth to
cover your altar .
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After your god is being born, it is recommended that you paint or
draw pictures of the god you have created to decorate both the altar and
the walls for future rituals to aid you in concentration on the ‘entity’ you
are working with. Even a sculpture can be made and put on the altar to
serve as a focal point in your rituals. It’s beautiful and helpful.
The way the tools are placed on the altar depends on the
practitioners creativity. However, to arrange the tools correctly on the altar
you need to integrate in the space you have so that it won’t be too crowded
and the tools are not going to be placed dissonant.
For this ritual, if you have a big altar I recommend you place the 4
black candles on each corner ( the candles should be as big as possible . the
light you’re going to have during a ritual must come from these candles not
from a bulb, lamp or other electric sources ) . In the middle of the altar
there must be the blue taper candle in one side and the black taper candle
on the other side and between them will be placed the cup/chalice with the
booze. The blue taper candle represents the ‘good’ side of the ‘entity’ and
the black taper candle represents the ‘evil’ side of the ‘entity’. In the back of
these candles and the chalice there will be the bowl. On the left side there
must either be the knife, or if you have a support for the knife place it
there.
* Many of us can’t have an altar in the house because we live with persons
who have another religion and do not agree with our beliefs and our practices
. Hence, I suggest you get a small portable altar . The altar must be treated
with respect . After you used the altar you will clean it, dust it, and place it
in a clean blanket, and afterwards you may hide it somewhere no one will
ever find .
Preparation for the ritual :
The room or ritual space is cleaned of mess, and must be aerated.
Then, take a shower. Return to the room. Close the window. If you wish,
you can light up a perfumed candle or incense of preference. The ritual
space must be made a pleasant environment for your own comfort and for
the special birth of your ‘god’. Just as you were having guests, it is good to
create a nice atmosphere to make a good impression. Make your ‘god’ feel
welcomed !
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Eat. In case you are getting sleepy after eating, I recommend you
not to eat too much. You must be awake. Drink. Go to the bathroom.
Assure that you will not be disturbed by hunger, thirst and you will not
need to go to the toiled. Disconnect all the electronics in the house. The
phone, the interphone, the TV, the doorbell.. Nothing must distract you
from this ritual.
When you are ready, begin..
The ritual :
When everything is set in place, light up the candles. Take the cup
with booze or the drugs and begin to consume until you reach the
necessary condition in which you could actually think of creating a god.
Take some time and meditate on your creation. Think of it, how it will be
named, how it will look, act, think. Let your imagination go wild and think
of what kind of god you need. A tough and powerful god, a mild and
loving god, a sexy and seductive god etc. It may be a ‘he’ or a ‘she’ as you
prefer. When you got the picture, cut your hand with the dagger or prick
your finder with the needle and drop the blood into the bowl while saying :

By my own blood I give birth to [ insert name of god], the god of
my own spirit, guardian and guide to my soul whom takes life from
my essence.
Lift the bowl and place it above the flame from the blue taper
candle and say :
From the fire it will rise with the essence of all that is good. [name
of god], you are one with me and one with this fire ! Your good
nature will come from these !
Now take the bowl and place it above the flame of the black taper
candle and say :
From the fire it will rise with the essence of all that is evil. [name of
god], you are one with me and one with this fire ! Your evil nature
will come from these !
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Place the bowl in the back of the chalice and the candles where it
used to be and take the dagger/sword and say, while pointing with it to the
bowl as if the god would be rising from it :
I welcome you to my world, [name of god]. You are from this
moment the representation of all that I need, you are from this
moment my partner on the path of Life and Death and we will walk
into the shadows together and conquer all that we see. I am you and
you are me ! Come forth my beloved [name of god] ! Thy presence it
is needed here and now !
As the spirit of the god rises from the blood (this is all
psychological) you welcome him with a toast. Lift up the chalice and point
it to the god and say :
In your honor and mine I drink this ! May it be the elixir of our life s
success ! Cheers !
Take some time and connect with the god, get to know each other
and open yourself to him/her. He will never betray you, he will never
disappoint you, he will always be with you. When you are done, give an
ending to the ritual and dismiss the god as such :
I thank thee [name of god] for joining me in this path. I will be
seeing you again soon. Hail to thee, [name of god] ! Ave [name of
god] !
After this you extinguish all the candles and remain at least 5 more
minutes in meditation.
You are done now. From this moment on, you have a partner and a
guide along your path.





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Ending

The message of this book is sent to all the people needing a new life. It is
my wish that my words and advice have been helpful to you and that you
will no longer bother me with questions on my beliefs. *grins*
You may contact me through :
E-mail : fv_fargas@yahoo.com
My blog : http://fvfargas.wordpress.com/












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Suggested Books

The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
The 48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene
Might Is Right by Ragnar Redbeard
The Psychopath s Bible by C.S.Hyatt
The Art Of War by Sun Tzu
Frogs Into Princes by R.Bandler & J.Grinder
The Game by Neil Strauss
Oven-Ready Chaos by Phil Hine
Liber Null by Peter Carroll
Black Book Of Satan I, II & III by O.N.A.
The Bible
The Book Of Enoch
Testament Of Solomon
Corpus Hermeticum
Kybalion by Three Initates
Three Books Of Occult Philosophy by Hentry Cornelius
Agrippa

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