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words by G. A.

Skoog tune: Tempus Adest Floridum, 1582

design by C. J. Skoog harm. by Edward L. Stauff

1. Good King Whats - his - name looked out on Sar - tell/ St. Ste - phen.
2. “Wea - ther’s harsh,” she did a - gree. “Di - et Coke’s con - geal - ing.
3. Er - in’s dan - cing still this year, Sa - bre team looks gr - eat.
4. Mol - ly rocked the sixth - grade play. She e - nun - ci - at - ed.
5. Last one born but first one heard, Clau - di - a’s e - la - ted.

When the snow lay all a - bout ’round that house he lived in.
Di - git- numb - ing ag - on - y, Fin - ger - tips lose feel - ing.
Ev - ery - one, her wrath should fear If they don’t make Sta - te.
“Laugh’d and cried,” the cri - tics say. Five stars, she was ra - ted.
Guar - an - teed the fi - nal word, Once they’ve grad - u - a - ted.

Bright - ly smiled his Queen at last, though the frost was cru - el.
Jo - sie’s start - ed col - lege though, Ta - king lots of pho - tos.
Quinn’s new thing is ka - ra - te. Pun - ches, kicks and spar - ring.
Josh keeps talk - ing on the trails. Moun - tain bike dis - cus - sions.
May - be once she’s moved out too, King and Queen will move south.

“Why do we stay here?” he asked. “Darn kids and their scho - ol.”
Back and forth to school she’ll go. Long com - mu - ting blo - ws.
Sharp and crisp like bis - cot - ti. Foes e - mo - tions, scar - ring.
Climb - ing hills and plung - ing Vales, So far no con - cus - sions.
Then a - gain, we al - ways knew, He’s no ac - tion - all mouth.

Keep up with us all year long at

Good King Whatshisname, Revisited
words by G. A. Skoog tune: Tempus Adest Floridum, 1582
design by C. J. Skoog harm. by Edward L. Stauff
Though most are familiar with the tune of this beloved Christmas standard, few have
actually learned the lyrics or remember that there really was a Whatshisname in the early 21st century.
Whatshisname and his considerable family lived on the frigid, desolate plains of Central
Minnesota. History is unclear as to whether this was intentional or part of some sort of forced exile from
somewhere better.

Whatshisname wasn’t truly a king, but rather a homeowner and copywriter of little
historical import. Worth noting, however, were the accomplishments and attributes of his beloved
queen, Corinne, and the six children of their blended family.

In 2009, the year the carol was originally penned, the House of Whatshisname endured
considerable hardships, both financial and medical. Corporate bankruptcy had whisked away any
fleeting dreams of luxurious retirement. And a particularly painful recurring bill dragged itself
through 2009 as it had through the several years prior.

Meanwhile, a debilitating plague of whooping cough in the springtime reduced most of the
family to spasmodically gagging wraiths for at least a month or two. And a diverse collection of
influenza strains combined to befuddle the castle throughout the fall.

But the family was strong-willed and resilient – happy in faith and confident in the future. So
blessed were they, in fact, that they were able to take trips to sunny Sun City in March and to the
fabulous Bugbee Hive Resort on Bee-Utiful Lake Koronis ( in August.

And so the family persevered through their self-described “year of maintenance” with humble
patience and quiet confidence. Tirelessly through the spring and early summer, Whatshisname
and his charges toiled to clean up the castle grounds in time for Josie’s graduation party in July.
Neverending piles of landscape rock were shaken, sifted, cleaned and repositioned. Knuckles were
scraped and backs were strained, but spirits were lifted by the arrival of a gigantic, five-burner gas
grill. There was much rejoicing.

In fact, in spite of the many hardships, that year was truly filled with joy and good cheer. Erin’s
dance team appeared in the state finals at the Target Center in February. Josie made a trip to New
Orleans with her high school choir (while everyone else made the aforementioned trip to Arizona)
in March. Josh and Molly tried their hands at competitive swimming in April. Whatshisname ran the
Apple Duathlon in under two hours with whooping cough and a flat tire. Josie graduated in June.
In August, Molly, Claudia and a handful of cousins ran the Green Lake Kids Triathlon. And, while
Whatshisname and his sister, Christine, ran the full adult triathlon, Corinne and Whatshisname’s
parents (Tom and Janet) ran the race as a team! Josie started college in August. Quinn and Claudia
Keep up with us all year long at competed at the Diamond Nationals karate tournament in October. And so on, and so on…

For these reasons, as the oft-hummed-but-seldom-sung Christmas carol tells, Whatshisname

continued his uncomfortably cold confinement in Minnesota – at least for a few more years.
Cast of Characters

King Whatshisname Queen Corinne

Writer of wrongs, racer of races Battle-scarred mountain biker,
and firm believer in the power household project samurai and
of the rally cap. newly crowned cooker of all
things curry.

Princess Josie Princess Erin

Professional photographer (paid Dancer, choreographer and
internships count!) and non- legally licensed road warrior.
recovering anime-niac. (18) (16)

Prince Quinn Princess Molly

Knowledge bowler, three-inch Certified babysitter, Facebook
puncher and soon-to-be-owner fanatic and living proof that she
of the sweetest ’stache in town. knows better than you. (12)

Prince Josh Princess Claudia

Raving rabid, guinea pig Karate kid, rampaging extrovert
whisperer and general strong, and all-around piece-of-work in
silent type. (11) progress. (10)

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