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Alice

The Musical
Act One
Overture (Entr’acte could be used as an alternative)
Lewis Carroll Many a day we rowed together on that quiet stream the three
little maidens
!uc"worth and # $ and many a %airy tale had been told %or their bene&t' (et
none o% these many tales got written down they lived and died li"e summer
midges each in its golden a%ternoon until there came a day when one o% my
listeners begged that the tale be written out %or her )
ALL #* A +OL!E* A,TE-*OO*
All
All in a golden a%ternoon
.nder the s"ies o% cloudless blue
Leisurely gliding time away
/eading u0stream to &nd some shade
1lee0ily dri%ting on our way that dreamy English summer’s day
All in a golden a%ternoon
Eager %or stories wild and new
Three little ladies named 2Liddell’
Longed %or a %able to be told'
3hat can a single voice avail against three tongues that beg a tale4
Tell us a story tell us a story tell us a story'
All in a golden a%ternoon
Tales o% imagination grew'
Alice the dream5child too" our hands
Through many adventures all un0lanned'
1lowly the tales or 3onderland did come to us as now they stand'
Tell us a story tell us a story tell us a story'
Lewis Carroll (1itting at writing des") ,ull many a year has sli00ed away that
2golden
a%ternoon’ but # can call it u0 almost as clearly as i% it were yesterday $ the
cloudless blue above the watery mirror below the boat dri%ting idly on its
way the tin"le o% the dro0s that %ell %rom the oars as they waved so slee0ily
to
and %ro and the three eager %aces hungry %or news o% %airyland' (1tarting to
write) Alice was beginning to get very tired o% sitting by her sister on the ban"
and o% having nothing to do' Once or twice she had 0ee0ed into the boo" her
sister was reading' (The remainder o% Lewis Carroll’s lines can be read
as he 2writes’ the story')
Alice 3hat is the use o% a boo" without 0ictures or conversations in it4Lewis
Carroll 1he was considering whether the 0leasure o% ma"ing a daisy chain
would be
worth the trouble o% getting u0 and 0ic"ing the daisies when suddenly a
white rabbit with 0in" eyes ran close by her'
#’M LATE
3hite -abbit
#’m late6 #’m late6
#’m getting in a terrible state #’ll have to hurry'
7etter get a move on 2cause #’m running out o% time'
#’m late6 #’m late6
# haven’t got a moment to waste #’m getting worried'
3hat am # to do4 #’m going out o% my mind6
#’m late6 #’m late6
#% the !uchess has a minute to wait she’ll have my head o8'
7etter get a move on 2cause #’m running out o% time'
#’m late6 #’m late6
#% # cannot "ee0 this crucial date there’ll be no let o8'
3hat am # to do4 #’m going out o% my mind6 )' #’M LATE66
Lewis Carroll 7urning with curiosity Alice ran across the &eld a%ter it'
,ortunately she was
9ust in time to see it 0o0 down a large rabbit5hole under the hedge' Alice
went
down a%ter it never once considering how in the world she would get out
again' The rabbit5hole went straight on li"e a tunnel and then di00ed
suddenly down' Alice %ound hersel% %alling down a very dee0 well'
!O3* !O3* !O3*
All
Chorus !own down down $ # %ell #’m %alling through the ground'
!own down down $ #’m %alling slowly %alling down'
!own down down $ my world is turning all around'
!own down down $ #’m %eeling slee0y %eelings now'
Alice
3hat’s going to ha00en4
#t seems #’ve been %alling
,or miles unending
And when will it sto04
Chorus
Alice
,alling in dar"ness
:ast cu0boards and boo"shelves
#’m loo"ing around me
At 0ictures and ma0s'
Chorus
Alice3here am # going4
# can’t get my bearings
#’ve gone such a distance
3here will # end u04
Lewis Carroll !own she came u0on a hea0 o% stic"s and dry leaves and the
%all was over'
Alice 9um0ed onto her %eet in a moment' #t was dar" overhead and in %ront
was another long 0assage' The 3hite -abbit was still in sight hurrying along
it'
3hite -abbit Oh my ears and whis"ers6 /ow late it’s getting6 (E;its)
Alice 3hat an unusual hallway6 # do believe #’m in the rabbit’s house' Oh he’s
le%t
a "ey' # wonder i% it o0ens one o% these doors'
Lewis Carroll Alas6 Either the loc"s were too large or the "ey was too small'
At any rate it
wouldn’t o0en any o% them' 1uddenly Alice came u0on a low curtain she had
not noticed be%ore and behind it was a little door about &%teen inches high'
1he "nelt down o0ened the door and loo"ed along the 0assage'
Alice The loveliest garden you every saw6
M( LO<EL( +A-!E*
Alice
3ho can &nd my lovely garden4
#t’s the 0lace #’d really li"e to be'
1a%e inside my lovely garden
3ith the sunlight streaming down on me'
All
Chorus ,ountains 0ure and grass so green'
# can hear birds singing in the trees'
# must &nd my lovely garden
#t’s the 0lace # visit in my dreams'
#t’s the 0lace # visit in my dreams'
#*1T-AME*TAL 7AC=#*+ .*!E- !#ALO.+E>
Alice /ow # wish # could get out o% this dar" hall and wander about among
those
beds o% bright ?owers and those cool %ountains but # can’t even get my head
through the doorway' And even i% my head would go through it would be
very little use without my shoulders' (1ighs) #% only # could &nd a way6
All
Chorus ,ountains 0ure and grass so green'
# can hear birds singing in the trees'
# must &nd my lovely garden
#t’s the 0lace # visit in my dreams'
#t’s the 0lace # visit in my dreams'Alice # wish # could shut u0 li"e a telesco0e'
:erha0s # might &nd a boo" o% rules
that would show me how' (3al"s bac" to the table) This little bottle certainly
wasn’t here be%ore' 2!rin" Me6’ $ # shall loo" &rst and see whether it’s mar"ed
20oison’ or not' Anything mar"ed 20oison’ is sure to disagree with you sooner
or later i% you drin" too much o% it' This loo"s O= though' (!rin"s %rom it)
Mm6 <ery nice6 A mi;ed sort o% ?avour $ cherry tart custard 0inea00le
roast tur"ey to8ee and hot buttered toast' (!rin"s some more) !elicious6
3hat a curious %eeling6 # must be getting smaller6
Lewis Carroll And so it was indeed' 1he was now only ten inches high' Alice
%elt a little
nervous about shrin"ing any %urther' And a%ter a while &nding nothing more
ha00ened she decided to go to the garden at once' 7ut alas %or 0oor Alice6
3hen she got to the door she had %orgotten the "ey' And when she went
bac" to the table to get it she couldn’t 0ossibly reach it' Try as she might it
was no use' Alice sat down and cried'
Alice There’s no use crying li"e that6 # advise you to leave o8 this minute'
Lewis Carroll 1uddenly she noticed a small ca"e beside her' The words 2Eat
me’ were
written on it in currents'
Alice 3ell # shall eat it6 #% it ma"es me grow larger # can reach the "ey and i%
it
ma"es me grow smaller # can cree0 under the door' Either way #’ll get into
the garden' (/olding her hand on her head) 3hich way4 (East some more)
Curiosuer and curiouser6 *ow #’m o0ening out li"e the tallest telesco0e that
ever was6 +oodbye %eet6
Lewis Carroll Alice was now more than nine %eet high' At once she too" the
little golden
"ey and hurried o8 to the garden door' Lying down on one side it was all she
could do to loo" into the garden with one eye' To try and get through was
more ho0eless than ever' 1he sat down and began to cry again'
Alice (ou ought to be ashamed o% yoursel% $ a great girl li"e you to go on
crying
li"e this' 1to0 this moment # tell you6
Lewis Carroll 7ut she went on all the same shedding gallons o% tears until
there was a
large 0ool o% tears all around her' 1uddenly she hears a little 0attering o% %eet
in the distance'
3hite -abbit Oh6 The !uchess the !uchess6 3on’t she be savage i% #’ve "e0t
her
waiting4
#’M LATE6 (-e0rise)
3hite -abbit
#’m late6 #’m late6
#% the !uchess has a minute to wait she’ll have my head o8'
7etter get a move on 2cause #’m running out o% time'
#’m late6 #’m late6
#% # cannot "ee0 this crucial date there’ll be no let o8'
3hat am # to do4 #’m going out o% my mind6 )' #’M LATE66Alice #% you 0lease
sir )
3hite -abbit (1tartled) # can’t sto0 now' #’ll be late6 (/urries o8 dro00ing
gloves and %an)
Alice (:ic"s them u0) !ear dear' /ow queer everything is today' (,ans hersel%
and starts to shrin") +oodness6 #’m shrin"ing again' #t must be the %an'
(Throws it on the ?oor) # never was so small as this be%ore never6
Lewis Carroll As she said these words her %oot sli00ed and in another
moment s0lash6
1he was u0 to her chin in water' At &rst she thought she’d somehow %allen
into the sea but soon realised that she was in the 0ool o% tears which she had
we0t when she was nine %eet high'
# 3#1/ # /A!*’T !-#E! 1O M.C/
All
Chorus # wish # hadn’t cried so much
# wish # hadn’t cried so much'
*ow everything has changed and nothing is the same at all'
# wish # hadn’t cried so much
# wish # hadn’t cried so much
3hen only yesterday my li%e was not unusual'
Alice
#’m sin"ing and #’m sighing
,or all my silly crying
# really wonder why #’m here at all'
#’m shrin"ing then #’m growing
#’m coming and #’m going
#’m tired o% never "nowing who # am'
Chorus
Alice
This 0lace is to0sy5turvy
#t’s all a bit un5nerving
2Cause none o% what #’ve learned is quite the same'
This wonderland #’ve entered
#s %ull o% such adventures
7ut 9ust %or now #’d settle %or a change'
Chorus
Alice
Loo" at me what a sight6
# wish # hadn’t cried # wish # hadn’t cried so much'
Lewis Carroll @ust then she heard something s0lashing about in the 0ool a
little way o8 and
she swam nearer to ma"e out what it was' At &rst she thought it must be a
walrus or a hi00o0otamus but then she remembered how small she wasnow'
1he soon made out it was only a mouse that had sli00ed into the 0ool
li"e hersel%'
Alice O mouse6 !o you "now the way out o% here4 #’m very tired o% swimming
about li"e this' O mouse6 :erha0s it doesn’t understand English' :erha0s
it’s a ,rench mouse' # don’t "now much ,rench' Let me see' AOu est ma
chatte4B Oh # do beg your 0ardon' # quite %orgot you didn’t li"e cats'
Mouse *ot li"e cats6 3ould you li"e cats i% you were me4
Alice 3ell 0erha0s not'
Mouse *asty low vulgar things6 !on’t let me hear any more about them
again6
Alice Are you $ are you %ond o% $ o% dogs4 (*o re0ly) There’s such a nice little
dog
near our house # should li"e to show you'
Mouse Cats6 !ogs6 2*ice little things46’
Alice Oh dear' *ow #’ve o8ended it again' Mouse dear do come bac"' 3e
wont
tal" about cats or dogs i% you don’t li"e them6
Mouse (Turns round and swims slowly bac") Let’s swim to shore and then #’ll
tell you
my history' Then you’ll understand why it is # hate cats and dogs'
Lewis Carroll #t was high time %or them to go' The 0ool was getting quiet
crowded with the
birds and animals that had %allen into it' There was a duc" and a !odo a
Lory and several other curious creatures' Alice led the way and the whole
0arty swam to the shore' 3hat a queer5loo"ing 0arty there were assembled
on the ban"' The &rst question o% course was how to het dry
Mouse 1it down all o% you and listen to me' Ahem6 1ilence i% you 0lease6
Lory Must we listen to his story again4
Mouse #’ll 0roceed6 The 0atriotic Archbisho0 o% Canterbury %ound it advisable
)
Lory ,ound what4
Mouse ,ound it' O% course you "now what 2it’ means' /e %ound it advisable to
meet
3illiam and o8er him the crown' (To Alice) /ow are you getting on now my
dear4
Alice #’m as wet as ever' #t doesn’t seem to dry me at all'
!odo #n that case # move that the meeting ad9ourn %or the immediate
ado0tion o%
more energetic remedies'
Lory 10ea" English6 # don’t "now the meaning o% hal% those long words and
what’s
more # don’t believe you do either6!odo # was going to say that the best
thing to get us dry would be a Caucus race'
Alice 3hat is a Caucus race4
!odo 3hy the best way to e;0lain it is to do it' /ere is the racecourse (mar"s
out
a sort o% circle) $ the e;act sha0e doesn’t matter' 1tand where you li"e begin
to run when you li"e and leave o8 when you li"e'
CA.C.1 -ACE
All
Chorus #n the caucus -ace you choose a start 0lace
(ou can then begin and end e;actly where you li"e'
#n the Caucus -ace you run at your own 0ace
(ou’ll be guaranteed to win a 0riCe6
#% your %ur and %eathers are a sorry sight
#% you’re %eeling cold and wet'
Come and 9oin the race and you’ll get dry
There’s no need to be u0set6
Chorus
#t won’t really matter how you 0lay the game
Ma"e u0 any rules you li"e'
#% you get it wrong well that’s o"
!on’t thin" anyone will mind'
Chorus
:A-T T3O>
All this busy running gets you dry and it is %unny
7ut it’s really quite e;hausting going round and round6
(-e0eat)
Chorus and :A-T T3O
:A-T T/-EE>
Once you’ve started you’ve no worries
There’s no reason to be hurried'
Ta"e it easy stay light5hearted
#n the Caucus -ace'
:A-T1 T3O A*! T/-EE
Chorus 3#T/ :A-T1 T3O A*! T/-EE
!odo The race is over6
All 7ut who has won4!odo Everybody’s won and all must have 0riCes'
All 7ut who it to give the 0riCes4
!odo 3hy she o% course6 :ointing at Alice)
All (Crowding around Alice) :riCes6 :riCes6 Alice hands round com&ts)
Mouse 1he must have a 0riCe hersel% you "now'
!odo O% course' (To Alice) 3hat else have you got in your 0oc"et4
Alice Only a thimble
!odo /and it over here' (Alice hands it to the !odo) 3e beg your acce0tance
o%
this elegant thimble' (All cheer' Alice bows and ta"es the thimble' 1he turns
to the Mouse)
Alice (ou 0romised to tell me your history you "now and why it is you hate
2C’ and
2!’'
Mouse Mine is a long sad tale'
MO.1E’1 TALE
Mouse
,ury said to the mouse that he met in the house
ALet us both go to law # will 0rosecute you'
# will 0rosecute you6
Come #’ll ta"e no denial
3e must have a trial
,or really this morning #’ve nothing to do'
#’ve nothing to doB
1aid the mouse to the cur
A1uch a trial dear sir
3ith no 9ury or 9udge
3ould be wasting our breathB'
A#’ll be 9udge #’ll be @uryB
1aid cunning old ,ury
A#’ll try the whole cause and condemn you to death6B
Mouse (ou are not attending6
Alice # beg your 0ardon' # thought you had &nished'
Mouse # had not'
Alice A "not4 Oh do let me hel0 you undo it'
Mouse # shall do nothing o% the sort' (ou insult me by tal"ing such nonsense6
Alice # didn’t mean it' (Mouse starts to wal" away) :lease come bac" and
&nish
your story'
All (es 0lease come bac"6 (Mouse sha"es his head and e;its)
Lory 3hat a 0ity it wouldn’t stay6
Alice # wish # had our !inah here' 1he’d soon %etch it bac"6
Lory And who is !inah i% # might venture to as" the question4
Alice !inah’s our cat' And she’s such a ca0ital one %or catching mice' And oh
#
wish you could see her a%ter the birds6
!odo 3e really must be going' #t’s getting very late6 (E;it Lory !odo and
creatures)
Alice # wish # hadn’t mentioned !inah' My dear !inah # wonder i% # shall ever
see
you any more '
3hite -abbit The !uchess6 The !uchess6 Oh my dear 0aws6 Oh my %ur and
whis"ers6
1he’ll get me e;ecuted as sure as %errets are %errets6 3here can # have
dro00ed them' # wonder4 3hy Mary5Ann4 3hat are you doing out here4
-un home this moment and %etch me a 0air o% gloves and a %an6 Duic"6 *ow6
(E;its)
Alice /e too" me %or his housemaid' /ow sur0rised he’ll be when he &nds out
who
# am' 7ut # better ta"e him his %an and gloves $ that is i% # can &nd them'
Lewis Carroll As she said this Alice came u0on a neat little house on the door
o% which
was a bright brass 0late with the name 23' -A77#TT’ engraved u0on it' 1he
hurried in without "noc"ing and %ound her way into a tiny room' #nside was a
table and on it a %an and two or three 0airs o% tiny white "id gloves and a little
bottle'
3/AT 3#LL 7ECOME O, ME4
Alice
#’ve %ound another bottle
#t’s given me a thought'
#’m sure that something strange will ha00en
#% # can remove the cor"'
#’m tired o% being little
#’m sic" o% %eeling small'
:erha0s i% # should try this drin"
#’ll end u0 growing really tall'
All
Chorus 3hat will become o% me now # wonder4
# can’t imagine what # should do'
#s this a magical s0ell #’m under4Things "ee0 ha00ening that hardly seem
true'
Much sooner than e;0ected
#t ha00ened as be%ore
7ut when she’d drun" a hal% o% it
1he wished she’d not begun at all'
Alas6 #t was too late then
1he grew and grew some more'
#n hardly any time she started ,eeling so uncom%ortable'
Chorus
Alice
My head’s against the ceiling
# can’t get out the door'
# wish # hadn’t drun" so much
# ho0e # don’t grow anymore6
My %oot is u0 the chimney
#’m "neeling on the ?oor'
My arm is out the window and my
Elbow’s stuc" against the wall'
Chorus
Alice
Things "ee0 ha00ening strange things ha00ening
Curious ha00enings that hardly seem true'
Lewis Carroll Alice had grown so large that she was stuc" %ast inside the
rabbit’s house'
Luc"ily %or Alice the little magic bottle had now had its %ull e8ect and she
grew
no larger'
Alice #t was much 0leasanter at home when one wasn’t always growing
larger and
smaller and being ordered about but mice and rabbits' # do wonder what can
have ha00ened to me4 # 3onder what will ha00en ne;t4
Lewis Carroll And well might she have wondered %or Alice hersel% could hardly
believe what
ha00ened ne;t' ,irstly the 3hite -abbit came to loo" %or his gloves and %an
but %ound he couldn’t get it' 7ill the LiCard was sent down the chimney to
tac"le the giant inside' Alice with once shar0 "ic" sent him bac" u0 li"e a
s"y5roc"et' Then the rabbit and his %riends showered Alice with a barrow5%ull
o% 0ebbles which she noticed with some sur0rise were all turning into little
ca"es6 *aturally she tried one o% them and was delighted to &nd that she
began shrin"ing directly' As soon as she was small enough she ran out o%
the house and %ound hersel% sa%e in the thic" wood'
Alice The &rst thing #’ve got to do id to grow to my right siCe againE and the
second
this id to &nd my way into that lovely garden' # thin" that will be the best
0lan'Lewis Carroll #t sounded an e;cellent 0lan $ the only diFculty was that
she had not the
smallest idea how to set about it' Alice loo"ed all round her at the ?owers and
the blades o% grass' There was a large mushroom growing near her about
the same height as hersel%' 1he stretched hersel% u0 on ti0toe and 0ee0ed
over the edge o% the mushroom' /er eyes immediately met those o% large
blue cater0illar'
3/O A-E (O.4
All
A3ho are you4B said the cater0illar
#n such a laCy mood he hardly bothered to stir'
Lac"adaisical and LaisseC5%aire
3as the little %ella attitude'
A3ho can say4B Alice had to re0ly'
A#t’s been a strange old day and # "ee0 changing my siCe'
#t’s not easy to e;0lain (#’ve tried)
7ut #’m really not mysel% today6B
Cater0illar 3hat do you mean by that4 E;0lain yoursel%6
Alice # can’t e;0lain mysel% #’m a%raid sir because #’m not mysel% you see'
Cater0illar # don’t see'
Alice #’m a%raid # can’t 0ut it more clearly %or # can’t understand it mysel% to
begin
withE being so many di8erent siCes in a day is very con%using'
Cater0illar #t isn’t6
Alice 3ell 0erha0s you haven’t %ound it so yet but when you have to turn
into a
chrysalis $ you will some day you "now and then a%ter that into a butter?y $ #
should thin" you’ll %eel it a little queer won’t you4
Cater0illar *ot a bit6
Alice 3ell 0erha0s your %eelings may be di8erent' All # "now is it would %eel
very
queer to me'
Cater0illar (ou4 3ho are you46
ACome bac" here6B called the Cater0illar'
(/e sounded quite sincere and so it mattered to her')
A#’ve got something that you ought to hear
And it’s this ) =EE: (O.- TEM:E-6B
Alice #s that all4
Cater0illar *o6 1o you thin" you’re changed do you4Alice #’m a%raid # am sir' #
can’t remember things as # used to and # don’t "ee0 the
same siCe %or tem minutes together'
Cater0illar -e0eat 2,ather 3illiam’'
Alice 2(ou are old ,ather 3illiam’ the young man said
2And your hair has become very white'
And yet you incessantly stand on your head
!o you thin" at your age it is right4’
2#n your youth’ ,ather 3illiam re0lied to his son
2# %eared it might in9ure the brain'
7ut now that #’m 0er%ectly sure # have none
3hy # do it again and again’'
AThat’s not right6B said the Cater0illar
A#% # can be 0recise #’ve never listened to worse'
*ot a solitary line or verse
/as the meaning that # thought it might'B
Alice *othing’s right today' One doesn’t li"e changing so o%ten you "nowE but
#
should li"e to be a little larger sir i% you wouldn’t mind' Three inches is such
a wretched height to be'
Cater0illar #t’s a very good height indeed6
Cater0illar
# don’t "now what is wrong with your siCe'
(ou shouldn’t worry so you shouldn’t criticiCe'
(ou’ll get used to being inches high
#t’s the 0er%ect height and # should "now6
:lease e;cuse me now # have to go6 (1lowly crawls away)
Alice /ow 0uCCling all these things are' #’m never sure what’s going to
ha00en
%rom one minute to another6 Anyway #’ve got to get into that beauti%ul
garden
$ how is it to be done # wonder4
Lewis Carroll As she said this Alice suddenly came u0on an o0en 0lace with a
little house
in it about %our %eet high' ,or a minute or two she stood loo"ing at the house
wondering what to do nest when a %ootman in livery came running out o% the
wood and went to the %ront door'
:#+ A*! :E::E-
,ish ,ootman
The Dueen has invited the !uchess to 0lay
Along with the others a game o% croquet'
,rog ,ootman
The !uchess will gladly receive %rom the Dueen
An invite to 9oin her %or games on the green'(7oth bow low curls get
entangled' E;it ,ish ,ootman' ,rog sits on doorste0)
,rog ,ootman
There’s no 0oint in "noc"ing you’ll never get in
7esides they’re all ma"ing a terrible din6
# will be here 2til tomorrow %or sure
!ay a%ter day # shall sit by the door'
Alice
7ut ,ootman e;cuse me be%ore you begin
:lease will you tell me how # can get in4
,rog ,ootman
/ow do you "now i% you’ll get in at all4
Alice
There’s no use in tal"ing to him he’s a %ool6
#*1T-.ME*TAL
All
The noise in the "itchen was %ear%ully loud'
The smo"e %rom the coo"ing was tic" as a cloud'
The coo" in the corner was using a scoo0
To stir u0 the 0e00er she’d 0ut in the sou0'
The cat was sat grinning %rom ear to ear
The reason it did so was not very clear'
The !uchess was nursing a baby that sneeCed
/owling and screaming it sat on her "nees'
All (1ung)
-oc"5a5bye baby sat on a stool
3atch out %or sauce0ans dishes and all'
7eat him and sha"e him throw him around'
/e’ll go to slee0 when he hits the ground66
#*1T-.ME*TAL (7aby lobbing)
Alice There’s certainly too much 0e00er in that sou06 :lease would you tell
me
why your cat grins li"e that4
!uchess #t’s a Cheshire Cat and that’s why' (To baby) :ig6
Alice # didn’t "now that cats could grin'
!uchess They all can and most o% them do'
Alice # don’t "now o% any that do'
!uchess (ou don’t "now much and that’s a %act' (Coo" starts throwing things
at
!uchess)Alice :lease mind what you’re doing6 Oh there goes his 0recious
nose6
!uchess #% everybody minded their own business the world would go round a
great
deal %aster than it does'
Alice 3hich would not be an advantage' (ou see the earth ta"es twenty5%our
hours
to turn on its a;is'
!uchess Tal"ing o% a;es cho0 o8 her head6
Alice Twenty5,our hours # thin" or is it twelve4
!uchess Oh don’t bother me6 # could never abide &gures' /ere you may
nurse it %or
a bit i% you li"e' (,lings baby at Alice and leaves)
Lewis Carroll Alice carried the baby out into the o0en air where it started to
grunt' 1he told
it i% it was going to turn into a 0ig she’d have nothing more to do with it' #t
grunted again so violently that she set the little creature down and %elt quite
relieved to see it trot away into the wood'
Alice #% it had grown u0 it would have made a dread%ully ugly child but it
ma"es
rather a handsome 0ig # thin"'
Lewis Carroll As Alice turned round she was a little startled to see the
Cheshire Cat'
Alice Cheshire :uss6 3ould you tell me 0lease which way # ought to go %orm
here4
Cheshire Cat That de0ends a good deal on where you want to get to'
Alice # don’t much care where )
Cheshire Cat Then it doesn’t matter which way you go6
Alice 3hat sort o% 0eo0le live about here4
Cheshire Cat #n that direction lives a hatter and in that direction lives a March
hare' <isit
either you li"e they’re both mad6
Alice 7ut # don’t want to go among mad 0eo0le6
Cheshire Cat Oh you can’t hel0 that we’re all mad here #’m mad you’re
mad'
Alice /ow do you "now #’m mad4
Cheshire Cat (ou must be or you wouldn’t have come here' !o you 0lay
croquet with the
Dueen today4
Alice # should li"e it very much but # haven’t been invited yet'Cheshire Cat
(ou’ll see me there' 7y5the bye what became o% the baby4 # nearly %orgot to
as"'
Alice #t turned into a 0ig'
Cheshire Cat # thought it would6
Lewis Carroll 3ith that the Cheshire Cat slowly vanished beginning with the
end o% the tail
and ending with the grin which remained some time a%ter the rest o% it had
gone'
Alice 3ell6 #’ve o%ten seen a cat without a grin but a grin without a cat6 #t’s
the
most curious thing # ever saw in all my li%e'
3O*!E-LA*!
Alice
3hite rabbits with strange habits
That run round in a mad 0anic
*ever having time to turn around'
Log hallways with small doorways
Are there sometimes but not always
Curious indeed $ the things #’ve %ound'
All
Chorus Alice Alice 0lease understand
These are the things that ha00en in a wonderland'
(-e0eat)
Alice
Loud sneeCing and brain5teasing
3here words ta"e on a new meaning
Everyone it seems must disagree'
-ude manners and bad grammar
The ,rog ,ootman a Mad /atter6
#t’s the strangest 0lace #’ve ever been6
Chorus
#*1T-.ME*TAL
Chorus
E*! O, ACT O*EACT T3O
Entr’acte
Lewis Carroll A%ter watching the Cheshire Cat slowly vanish Alice set o8 once
more' 1he
had not gone much %urther be%ore she came in sight o% the house o% the
March /are' 1he thought it must be the right house because the chimneys
were sha0ed li"e ears and the roo% was thatched with %ur' There was a table
set out under a tree in %ront o% the house where the March /are and the
/atter were having tea' A !ormouse was sitting between them %ast aslee0'
(Alice a00roaches table)
/are G /atter *o room6 *o room6
Alice There’s 0lenty or room6 (Alice sits down)
/are /ave some wine'
Alice # don’t see any wine'
/atter There isn’t any'
Alice Then it wasn’t very civil o% you to o8er it'
/are #t wasn’t very civil o% you to sit down without being invited'
Alice # didn’t "now it was your table'
/atter (our hair wants cutting'
Alice (ou should learn not to ma"e 0ersonal remar"s $ it’s very rude'
/atter 3hy is a raven li"e a writing des"4
Alice # believe # can guess that'
/are !o you mean you thin" that you can &nd the answer to it4
Alice E;actly so6
/are Then you should say what you mean # do' At least # mean what # say'
That’s
the same thing you "now'
/atter *ot the same thing a bit6 (ou might 9ust as well say that A# eat what #
seeB is
the same as A# see what # eatB'
/are (ou might 9ust as well say that A# li"e what # getB is the same as A# get
what #
li"eB'!ormouse (ou might 9ust as well say that A# breathe when # slee0B is the
same as A#
slee0 when # breathe6B
/atter #t is the same thing with you6 (They sit silent %or a minute) 3hat day o%
the
month is it4
Alice The %ourth'
/atter Two days wrong6 # told you butter wouldn’t suit the wor"s6 (Loo"ing
angrily at
the /are)
/are #t was the best butter'
/atter (es but some crumbs must have got in as well' (ou shouldn’t have 0ut
it in
with the bread5"ni%e'
/are #t was the best butter you "now6
Alice 3hat a %unny watch6 #t tells the day o% the month and doesn’t tell what
o’cloc"
it is6
/atter 3hy should it4 !oes your watch tell you what year it is4
Alice O% course not but that’s because it stays the same year %or such a long
time
together'
/atter 3hich is 9ust the case with mine'
Alice # don’t quite understand you'
/atter The dormouse is aslee0 again' (:ours tea on his nose)
!ormouse O% course o% courseE 9ust what # was going to remar" mysel%'
/atter /ave you guessed the riddle yet4
Alice *o $ # give u0' 3hat’s the answer4
/atter # haven’t the slighted idea6
MA! A1 A /ATTE-
/atter
Chorus #’m mad as a hatter6
#’ve never %elt better
#t’s hard to believe that #’m out o% my mind
7ut #’m mad as a hatter6
1o 0ass me the butter
2Cause li%e is a tea50arty all o% the time6
All/e’s mad as a hatter6
/e’s never %elt better
#t’s hard to believe that he’s out o% his mind
7ut he’s mad as a hatter6
1o 0ass him the butter
2Cause li%e is a tea50arty all o% the time6
Chorus /e’s mad as a hatter )
/atter
#t was the middle o% March
# had a quarrel with time'
*ow he does nothing # as"
/e was a good %riends o%
Chorus /e’s mad as a hatter )
/atter # want a clean cu06 Let’s all move one 0lace on6
(/atter stu8s dormouse into tea0ot)
Chorus /e’s mad as a hatter )
Chorus #’m mad as a hatter )
Alice (As she wal"s away) #’ll never go there again6 #t’s the stu0idest tea 0arty
#
ever was at in all my li%e6
Lewis Carroll @ust as she said this Alice noticed that one o% the trees had a
door leading
right into in' Curious indeed $ but in she went' 1he %ound hersel% at last in
the beauti%ul garden among the bright ?ower5beds and the cool %ountains' A
large rose5tree stood near the entrance o% the garden' The roses growing on
it were white but there were three gardeners there busily 0ainting them red'
Two Loo" out now ,ive6 !on’t go s0lashing 0aint over me li"e that6
,ive # couldn’t hel0 it6 1even 9ogged my elbow6
1even That’s right ,ive6 Always lay the blame on others'
/atter
-avens are rather li"e des"s'
Tell me i% you thin" is true'
(ou won’t be able to guess'
#’ve really not got a
!ormouse G /are (or all)
(A riddle6 A riddle6)
(Tell him do tell him6)
(/e’ll have to tell you6)
/atter
# &nd it hard to e;0lain
Thoughts that go round in my head'
!ormouse you’re slee0ing again6
(ou’d better go bac" to
!ormouse G /are (or all)
(A 0uCCle6 A 0uCCle6)
(*o rhyme or reason)
((awn' Twin"le twin"le),ive (ou’d better not tal"' # heard the Dueen say only
yesterday you deserve to
be beheaded'
Two 3hat %or4
1even That’s none o% your business Two6
,ive (es it is his business and #’ll tell him $ it was %or bringing the coo" tuli0
roots
instead o% onions'
1even 3ell o% all the un9ust things ) (They see Alice and bow low)
Alice 3ould you tell me why you are 0ainting those roses4
Two (#n a low voice) 3hy the %act is you see Miss this here ought to have
been a
red rose5tree but we 0ut a white one in by mista"e' #% the Dueen were to &nd
out we should all have our heads cut o8 you "now' 1o you see Miss we’re
doing our best be%ore she come to )
,ive The Dueen6 The Dueen6
-O(AL :-OCE11#O*
,A*,A-E
All
Ma"e way6 /ere comes the royal 0rocession6
They ma"e their entrance two by two'
They’ll all be out to ma"e an im0ression'
7e care%ul what you say and do'
,A*,A-E
All (Clubs 1oldiers)
This %amily has a s0orting tradition
3e’re 0roven winners through and through'
Our bodies are in ti05to0 condition
Our team will wi0e the ?oor with you'
All (!iamonds courtiers)
Our 0ride is in our social 0osition'
3e’re &rst to hear the royal news'
3e’re in with all the to0 0oliticians
And all the gossi0 columns too6
3hite -abbit
#’m late6 #’m late $ #’m getting in a terrible state #’ll have to hurry6
7etter get a move on 2cause #’m running out o% time6
All (/earts children)Our %athers have a &ne re0utation
They’re really rather well5to5do'
They’ve given us the best education
And all the money we can use6
All (+uests =ings G Dueens)
3e’re here to re0resent other nations
,rom Me;ico to Timbu"tu6
And we received the Dueen’s invitations
7e%ore she even thought o% you66
,A*,A-E
=nave Ma"e way %or the =ing and Dueen o% /earts6
Dueen (To =nave) 3ho is this4 (=nave only bows and smiles in re0ly) #diot6
3hat’s
your name child4
Alice My name is Alice so 0lease your Ma9esty'
Dueen (:ointing to gardeners) And who are these4
Alice /ow should # "now4 #t’s no business o% mine'
Dueen O8 with her head6 O8 with )
Alice *onsense6
=ing Consider my dear she is only a child'
Dueen (To "nave re' gardeners) Turn them over6 (=nave does so) +et u06
(+ardeners 9um0 u0 and start bowing) Leave o8 that6 (ou ma"e me giddy'
3hat have you been doing here4
Two May it 0lease your Ma9esty we were trying to )
Dueen # see' O8 with their heads6
Alice (To +ardeners) (ou shan’t be beheaded6 (+ardeners e;it)
Dueen Are their heads o84
=nave Their heads are gone i% it 0lease your Ma9esty'
Dueen (To Alice) Can you 0lay croquet4
Alice (es6
Dueen Come on then6 (E;its)3hite -abbit #t’s $ it’s a very &ne day'
Alice <ery' 3here’s the !uchess4
3hite -abbit /ush hush6 (3his0ers) 1he’s under sentence o% e;ecution'
Alice 3hat %or4
3hite -abbit 1he bo;ed the Dueen’s ears' (Alice begins to laugh) Oh hush6
The Dueen
will hear you6 (ou see she came rather late and the Dueen said )
Dueen (Entering) +et to your 0laces6
C-OD.ET 1O*+
All
#t’s such a lovely day %or 0laying croquet
1how me a better way to s0end your time'
-eally # have to say that li%e is O=
Out on the lawn today it’s 9ust divine6
# have been 0ractising with my ?amingo'
#t’s not an easy thing to "ee0 in line'
# am delighted in the way my swing goes
#t needs some 0olishing but #’ll be &ne'
Croquet is not so cool when you’re a hedgehog6
.sing us %or a ball it’s so un"ind'
#% we don’t curl u0 small they’ll "noc" our heads o86
1ince they don’t care at all we’ll run and hide6
This is an aw%ul game i% you’re a soldier6
#’ve never been the same since &rst # tried'
# can’t describe the 0ain in my le%t shoulder
All doubled5u0 %or days $ it’s such a crime6
3henever you 0lay croquet then your nec" is on the line
3e should all be glad 9ust to stay alive6
Dueen 1to06 1to06 1to06 (To audience) *ow it’s about time the rest o% you did
some
singing' (ou should "now the tune by now' Are the words ready year4
+ood' *ow woe betide anyone who doesn’t 9oin in' (our head will be
removed6 E;ecutioners to your 0laces6
#t’s such a lovely day %or 0laying croquet
1how me a better way to s0end your time'
-eally # have to say that li%e is o"
Out on the lawn today it’s 9ust divine6
-E:EAT LA1T <E-1E3henever you 0lay croquet then your nec" is on the line
3e should all be glad 9ust to stay alive6
3e should all be glad 9ust to stay alive6
Dueen (As she e;its) O8 with her head6 O8 with her head6 And o8 with his
head6
Alice They’re dread%ully %ond o% beheading 0eo0le here' The great wonder is
that
there’s any one le%t alive6
Cheshire Cat /ow are your getting on4
Alice # don’t thin" they 0lay at all %airly and they all quarrel so dread%ully'
Cheshire Cat /ow do you li"e the Dueen4
Alice *ot at all6 1he’s so e;tremely ) (Dueen enters) ''' li"ely to win that it’s
hardly worth &nishing the game'
=ing (As he enters) 3ho are you tal"ing to4
Alice #t’s a %riend o% mine $ the Cheshire Cat' Allow me to introduce it'
=ing # don’t li"e the loo" o% it at all' /owever it may "iss my hand i% it li"es'
Cheshire Cat #’d rather not6
=ing !on’t be im0ertinent6 And don’t loo" at me li"e that6
Alice A cat may loo" at a =ing'
=ing 3ell it must be removed' My dear # wish you would have this cat
removed'
Dueen O8 with his head6 (Cheshire Cat e;its)
=ing #’ll %etch the e;ecutioner mysel%' /urries o8)
Dueen /ave you seen the Moc" Turtle yet4
Alice *o # don’t even "now what a moc" turtle is'
Dueen #t is the thing moc" turtle sou0 is made %rom'
Alice # never saw one or heard o% one'
Dueen Come on then and he shall tell you his history' +ry0hon6 (Enter
+ry0hon)
/urry u0 you laCy thing and ta"e this young lady to see the Moc" Turtle' #
must go bac" and see to some e;ecutions # have ordered' (3al"s o8)
Lewis Carroll Alice was le%t alone with the +ry0hon' 1he didn’t quite li"e the
loo" o% the
creature but she thought it would be as sa%e to go on with him as to go
a%terthe Dueen' They hadn’t gone %ar be%ore they saw the Moc" Turtle sitting
sad
and lonely on the little ledge o% roc"'
Alice 3hat is his sorrow4
+ry0hon (3ith 3est Country dialect) #t’s all his %ancy that' /e hasn’t got no
sorrow
you "now' Come on6 This here young lady she wants %or to "now your
history she do'
Moc" Turtle #’ll tell it to her' 1it down both o% you' Once # was a real turtle'
3hen we
were little we went to school in the sea' The master was an old turtle $ we
used to call him tortoise'
Alice 3hy did you call him Tortoise i% he wasn’t one4
Moc" Turtle 3e called him Tortoise because he taught us6 3hy you really are
dull'
+ry0hon (ou ought to be ashamed o% yoursel% %or as"ing such a sim0le
question'
Moc" Turtle 3e went to school in the sea' 3e had the best o% educations $ in
%act we
went to school every day'
Alice #’ve been to a day5school too'
Moc" Turtle 3ith e;tras4
Alice (es we learned ,rench and music'
Moc" Turtle And washing4
Alice Certainly not6
Moc" Turtle Ah6 Then yours wasn’t a really good school' At ours they had
,rench music
and washing $ e;tra6 # only too" the regular course'
Alice 3hat was that6
Moc" Turtle -eeling and writhing or course to begin withE and then the
di8erent branches
o% arithmetic $ ambition distraction ugli&cation and derision'
Alice And how many hours a day did you do lessons4
Moc" Turtle Ten hours the &rst day nine the ne;t and so on'
Alice 3hat a curious 0lan'
+ry0hon That’s the reason they’re called lessons because they lessen %rom
day to
day6 Anyway that’s enough about lessons tell her something about the
games now'Moc" Turtle 3ere you ever introduced to a lobster4
Alice # once tasted ) *o never6
Moc" Turtle 1o you can have no idea what a delight%ul thing a lobster
quadrille is4
LO71TE- !A*CE
+ry0hon andHor Moc" Turtle (alternating every verseHtwo lines)
#% you listen then #’ll e;0lain
(ou’ll see it’s a delight%ul game'
Clear the 9elly&sh out the way
And then we can begin'
,ind a lobster and ta"e his hand
!ance together along the sand'
Change your 0artners and turn around
Then do it all again'
Chorus 1eals and turtles and everyone
3e’re all having the best o% %un6
@oin the 0arty we’ve 9ust begun
Come on and do the lobster dance6
/url your lobster with all your might
Out to sea where he’s out o% sight'
!on’t you worry $ he’ll be alright
/e loves to 0lay the game6
Turn a somersault in the sea'
((ou will &nd it comes naturally6)
7ring your 0artner bac" and we
Can start it all again6
Chorus
#*1T-.ME*TAL H :A-T( CO*+A
Chorus T3#CE
Alice Than" you it’s a very interesting dance to watch'
+ry0hon *ow recite your 0oem %or her'
Moc" Turtle 3ould you li"e me to4
Alice <ery much indeed'
Moc" Turtle A3ill you wal" a little %asterB said a whiting to a snail
AThere’s a 0or0oise close behind us and he’s treading on my tail'1ee how
eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance6
They are waiting on the shingle $ will you come and 9oin the dance4
3ill you won’t you will you won’t you will you 9oin the dance4
3ill you won’t you will you won’t you won’t you 9oin the dance4
Alice Than" you6 #% #’d been the whiting #’d have said to the 0or0oise 2=ee0
bac"
0lease we don’t want you with us’'
Moc" Turtle They were obliged to have him with them' *o wish &sh would go
anywhere
without a 0or0oise'
Alice 3ouldn’t it really4
Moc" Turtle O% course not6 #% a &sh came to me and told me that he was going
on a
9ourney # should say A3ith what 0or0oise4B
Alice !on’t you mean 20ur0ose’4
Moc" Turtle # mean what # say'
+ry0hon 1hall we try another &gure o% the lobster quadrille or would you li"e
the Moc"
Turtle to sing you a song4
Alice Oh a song 0lease i% the Moc" Turtle would be so "ind'
+ry0hon /m6 *o accounting %or tastes6 1ing her 27eauti%ul 1ou0’ will you old
%ellow4
7EA.T#,.L 1O.:
Moc" Turtle
This is a song that # love to recite
!o sing along i% you choose'
#’ll sing the chorus so you get it right
#t’s not a diFcult tune
(CandenCa 5 Moc" Turtle or +ry0hon)
All
Chorus 7eauti%ul sou06 7eauti%ul sou06
1ou0 o% the evening so green and so 0leasing
My beauti%ul beauti%ul sou0'
7eauti%ul sou06 7eauti%ul sou06
7eau 5555555555555555555ti%ul
7eauti%ul beauti%ul sou06
Moc" Turtle
,irst thing %or brea"%ast or last thing at night
This is my %avourite %ood'
#t can be served any way that you li"e
#’ll always be in the mood'
(CandenCa 5 Moc" Turtle or +ry0hon)Chorus
Moc" Turtle
3ho cares %or chic"en or savoury rice
<egetable curry or stew4
#% # were o8ered whatever # li"ed
Can you not guess what #’d choose4
+ry0hon +ives us a clue6
Moc" Turtle 7egins with an 2s’'
+ry0hon (Ad lib)
Chorus
<oice O8 The trial’s beginning6
+ry0hon Come on6
Alice 3hat trial is it4
+ry0hon Come on6 (Leaves with Alice' Moc" Turtle le%t behind)
Lewis Carroll Alice and the +ry0hon hurried o8 to the Court -oom' Alice had
never been in
a court o% 9ustice be%ore but she had read about them in boo"s' 1he was
0leased to &nd that she "new the name o% nearly everything there'
Alice That’s the 9udge because o% his great wig' And that’s the 9ury bo; )
and
those twelve creatures # su00ose they are the 9urors' 3hat are they doing4
+ry0hon They’re 0utting down their names %or the %ear they should %orget
them be%ore
the end o% the trial'
Alice 1tu0id things6 # wish they’d get the trial done and hand round the
re%reshments6
=ing 1ilence in the court6 /erald read the accusation6
3hite -abbit (Trum0et blast' .nrolls scroll and reads)
The Dueen or /earts she made some tarts all on a summer’s day'
The =nave o% /earts he stole those tarts and too" them quite away6
3/O 1TOLE T/E TA-T14
=ing G @ury (&rst time) All (re0eat)
=ing
3ho stole the tarts4
3ho stole the tarts4
(-e0eat)
@ury
/e did6 /e did6
2Twas the "nave who stole the tarts6Chorus :ut him (her) in the 0rison and
loc" him (her) u0 loc" him
(her) u0
:ut him (her) in the 0rison and throw away the "ey6
(-e0eat)
3hite -abbit *ot yet6 *ot yet6 There’s a great deal to come be%ore that6
=ing Call the &rst witness6
3hite -abbit The &rst witness6 (Mad /atter)
Chorus
/atter #’d rather &nish my tea sir6
=ing (ou may go6
Dueen @ust ta"e his head o8 outside' (1hrie")
=ing Call the ne;t witness'
3hite -abbit *e;t witness6 (Coo")
=ing +ive your evidence'
Coo" 1han’t6
Chorus
=ing *ever mind6 Call the ne;t witness6
3hite -abbit (,umbling over list) Alice6
Alice /ere6
=ing 3hat do you "now about this business4
=ing
Ta"e o8 your hat6
Ta"e o8 your hat6
3hose hat is it6
3hose hat is it6
Mad /atter
#t’s not mine sir6
#’m a%raid it isn’t mine6
@ury
1tolen46 1tolen46
/e has stolen someone’s hat66
=ing
3ho ba"ed the tarts4
3ho ba"ed the tarts4
3hat’s in the tarts4
3hat’s in the tarts4
@ury
1he did6 1he did6
2Twas the coo" who ba"ed the tarts6
Coo"
:e00er6 :e00er6
# 0ut 0e00er in the tarts6Alice *othing'
=ing *othing whatever4
Alice *othing whatever'
=ing That’s very im0ortant'
3hite -abbit .nim0ortant you Ma9esty means'
=ing .nim0ortant o% course' (.nder his breath) #m0ortant unim0ortant
unim0ortant im0ortant )
Dueen Oh do be quiet and get on with it6
=ing (es o% course dear'
O,, 3#T/ /E- /EA!6
=ing Consider your verdict6
Let the @ury consider their verdict6
Dueen *o6 *o6 *o6
/al% @uryHOther hal% (*o6 *o6 *o6 H *o6 *o6 *o6)
Dueen 1entence &rst and then verdict a%terwards6
Alice 1tu8 and nonsense6
The very idea o% the sentence &rst6
Dueen /old your tongue6
@ury /old your tongue6
Alice # won’t6
Dueen O8 with her head6
/al% @ury O8 with her head6
3hole @ury O8 with her head6
All O8 with her head6
O8 with her head6
O8 with her head6
(-e0eat)
O8) with her) O,, 3#T/ /E- /EA!66
Alice 3ho cares %or you4 (ou’re nothing but a 0ac" o% cards6
Lewis Carroll At this the whole 0ac" rose u0 into the air and came ?ying
down u0on her'
1he gave a little scream hal% o% %right and hal% o% anger and tried to
beatthem o8' 1he %ound hersel% on the ban" with her head in the la0 o% her
sister
who was gently brushing away some dead leaved that had ?uttered down
%rom the trees u0on her %ace'
1ister 3a"e u0 Alice dear' 3hy what a long slee0 you’ve had6
Alice Oh #’ve had such a curious dream6
3O*!E-LA*! (-e0rise)
Alice
,ierce ladies with 0ig babies
And strange games 0layed in weird 0laces'
/ow can # describe the things #’ve seen4
Mad 9uries the Dueen’s %ury
The Moc" Turtle and sad stories'
/ow can # believe it’s 9ust a dream4
All
Chorus Alice Alice 0lease understand
These are the things that ha00en in a wonderland'
(-e0eat)
T/E E*!