Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Narcissism in the Pulpit) Category: Religion and Philosophy Have you ever wondered why

you feel like your soul has been sucked out of you everytime your in contact with certain people in your life?

That you feel like you have been "soiled"?

Have you personally or have you watched others walk away from those very same people crying, or violent, or terribly depressed?

There are a few technical terms for this type of people, but I simply call them "soul suckers" or "emotional vampires".

These people could get help if they wanted to, however, they truly enjoy the power they have so much that they won't ever get help. Also, they usually have a very small group of people that they have trained, usually from "childhood" to be their "enablers".

What are some of the technical terms for people like this?

One is: Narcissistic Personality Disorderor - NPD.

We joke about Narcissistic behaviors, such as vanity and always looking in the mirror, but narcissim really is a serious psychotic disease that is reaking havoc and even danger to many people.

The narcissist is not going to show their "true" self honestly to co workers or casual friends and they will not self report with any honesty. Indeed, if you do not intimately know these people you will find them utterly charming. They will ACT in a play of their own making.

They leave a path of utter destruction behind them their entire life.

Some of the symptoms are:

1. He/She believes or claims to be "unique" and/or "special" unique or special that you "can't" or "couldn't" understand. "We have a 'special love'...a 'special relationship'...I know you can't understand this but we have a special relationship"...if you were to leave me where else would you go?...if you leave me you will die". "Only other 'special' people can truly understand...and are the only people I or you should be associated with".

2. Interpersonally Exploitative: takes advantage of others to achieve his/her own "end". Ever wonder why these people ask so many questions, especially when you first meet them? It is so they can learn your weakness. They will also go through your belongings, take your things, spy on what you're doing, steal documents, talk about you to many other people to gather information and learn about what and how you are doing.

3. Habitual Liar (and they are very good at it)...They take a little truth, and mix it in with a big bold face lie. They are such good liars they could fool a lie detector. Even when confronted with documentation and proof that they are lying...they still continue on with their damaging

behavior. Their "enablers" continue to belive them even when the truth is staring them right in the face. Because it makes them "special" and gives them power in return when they join with them as a team. This is the point where the term "group serial bully" comes into play.

4. Lacks Empathy: has no mercy unless it is "performed" publicly, for "show and tell", or when it will get them something they want. There is always a price to be paid when receiving for any show of empathy from these people.

5. Grandiose sense of self importance: lies about or exaggerates achievements and talents. Expects to be recognized as superior without ever truly doing anything "special" witht their life. Indeed they often portray themselves and believe themselves to be the very opposite of what they are.

6. Sense of Entitlement: Unreasonably expects "special" treatment or automatic compliance with his/her expectations...and if you don't comply, you will be emotionally blackmailed, threatened, lied about, food poisoned, etc. (When you "disobey" them you might be offered a nice cold cup of orange kool-aid if the other routes they use do not work.) And if they can't get to you they will go after your loved ones, even stooping as low as damaging children...remember, it's all about them, in the most evil ways imaginable.

7. Acts Arrogant, Haughty (a downright snob)...saying things like "They don't impress me" even before ever getting to know someone.

8. Requires excessive admiration: "Eye roll" - Do you know a "special" person, relative or friend that everyday is "all about them day"? Every holiday, world event, disaster, miracle, yadda, yadda, yadda is all because they breathe?

9. Is Envious or has misplaced jealousy of others or actually thinks that others are envious or jealous of the him/her which they use as an excuse WHY people don't want anything to do with them!

10. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliuance, beauty, or ideal love. If your NPD person thinks that they are the "ideal" (love, church, relationship, etc.) PICK UP YOUR CHILDREN - GRAB YOUR SPOUSE - AND RUN - RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN - HIDE THOSE YOU LOVE SOMEWHERE SAFE. The "ideal" NPD is very dangerous for family life...they will break up your family, because only they can love, mother/father your children, or even sicker, husband/'wife your spouse and if you have friends that you have to leave behind you'd better kiss them good bye as you're running out the door.

An NPD person will take your life from you every chance they get because, remember, they are so special - they are like stalkers once they fix on you. You can never turn your back on them or even speak to them - don't even say "Hi" if you can help it - and never be left in a room alone with them because they will lie, lie, lie. Always have a dependable witness with you - their enablers are NOT trusted witnesses.

Google these words:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder NPD Soul Sucker Serial Bully

Emotional Blackmail Enabler Emotional Incest Boundaries Betrayal Stalker Criminal Harassment

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - there is help for you - please join the rest of society by getting well.

Narcissism Checklist

What follows is a check list of character traits used to identify Narcissistic Personality.

If your pastor or someone else you know can be characterized by a majority of these realize you have a major challenge on your hands. This check list should be given to those who have had the closest continual contact with the narcissist. Take into consideration that some people whom the narcissist has surrounded himself/herself with will be blind to all these, as they have either become co-dependent with the narcissist, or have blind loyalty to the ‘position of pastor.’

Self-centered. His needs are paramount and take precedence over the church No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds. Will not offer heartfelt apologies of ask forgiveness Unreliable, undependable. Will change his mind and reverse decisions at will Does not care about the consequences of his actions—may not even understand the connection Projects his faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never his fault Little if any conscience. Will do most anything he thinks will not be discovered. May ask staff to fudge the books. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others Low stress tolerance. Easy to provoke into anger People are to be manipulated for his needs, accomplishing his desires Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to his gain at other’s expense. If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject or gets angry Pathological lying. Will lie if he thinks it will further his image and if he doesn’t think it will be discovered. When lies are followed up on will imply that the other person is mistaken, and that he never said the lie in the first place Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, and group meetings No real values. Mostly situational Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate Angry, rapidly changing moods Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities Likes annoying and provoking others. Likes to create chaos and disrupt for no reason Moody - switches from nice guy to anger without much provocation Seldom expresses appreciation unless he is buttering the person up for further use Grandiose. Convinced he knows more than others and is correct in all he does

Lacks ability to see how he comes across to others. Defensive when confronted with his behavior. Never his fault Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow He breaks woman's spirits to keep them dependent Needs threats, intimidations to keep others close to him Highly contradictory Convincing. Must convince people to side with him Hides his real self. Always “on”, playing the part when in public Kind only if he's getting from you what he wants He has to be right. He has to win. He has to look good He announces, not discusses. He tells, not asks Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda Controls money of others but spends freely on himself Unilateral condition of, "I'm OK and justified so I don't need to hear your position or ideas." Always feels misunderstood You feel miserable with this person. He drains you Does not listen because he does not care Is not interested in problem-solving Very good at reading people, so he can manipulate them Will exaggerate and brag about past accomplishments Concerned with getting what he wants NOW—immediately Will not want to share his pulpit/platform with others Will be envious of any other staff person who is loved or highly respected by the congregation Will be overly concerned with the ‘image’ of the church building/bulletins etc. Feels that he has been taken advantage of over and over again—’knife in the back syndrome.’ Dress may change based on whomever is his latest idol Spend long hours ‘doing church’, but little will be accomplished Nit-picky about minute details, but miss the entire big picture

Additional characteristics known only to the narcissist’s spouse:

Sabotages partner. Wants her to be happy only through him and to have few or no outside interests and acquaintances His feelings are discussed, not the partners Uses sex to control

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