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OTHER BOOKS BY LG WILLIAMS
BOOKS Art History Lecture Notes Drawing Upon Art Straw, Fluff and Eat Pebbles Y2K and Modern Art Click Here To Enter: Catalogue Raissoné Gorgeous Nonsense Complete Artwork Notes: 1985-2000 LG Williams: Biography – 1983-2000 Random Notes: 1993-2000 Small Notebooks: 1-3 Small Notebooks: 4-6 EXHIBITION CATALOGUES Recent Paintings Clean Shorts and Recent Wood Selected Installations: 1997-98 Another Tight Spot Figuerlich Art Und Konzeptkunst Miracle Gallery ARTIST BOOKS Year in Rearview 100 Dow Stars LA CART Planes Star Fuck POETRY Kingdom of Back Stripe City B sides Buddaheads and Ambercrombie The City of Angels Has a Halo of Smog Killer Beings 1997 1997 1998 1999 2000 2000 2001 2001 2001 2001 2001 1997 1997 1998 1999 1999 2000 1998 1998 1999 1999 2000 2000 2001 1999 1999 2000 2000 2000 2001
For more information about LG WILLIAMS please visit: www.lg.web-page.net
First Edition. Published in the United States of America in 2001 by PCP Press, Berkeley, California. © 2001 LG WILLIAMS and The Estate of LG WILLIAMS. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from LG Williams, The Estate of LG Williams or PCP Press.
from The Secret Language of Birthdays May 30th People must be aware of making commitments they cannot keep. This is a fatal miscalculation. They must learn that some people they meet will take them dead serious, and hold them to it later on.
Step off the plane, Call on the phone. Stupid idiot, Still there all alone.
You hate art. But each day You paint the face Of Tinkerbell On Hell.
Four wheel drive Over his head. OOOOh, too bad Its lead.
You have the time, And the place. Why two smirks On your face?
Give them a break, They go broke. Give them a shot They’ll miss. Give them some space They’ll leave.
So new to LA, And already a Star Lying on Hollywood Boulevard.
A break? I’m broke.
Thank God for Radio!
Full of holes Except for the head.
The girl Jacked me! But my name is Lawrence.
“Lights!” “Camera!” “Action!” “Now fuck him over!”
Poke out the eyes Rip out the hair Let’s find out When nothing’s there.
You shot up On the spot When we discovered What your not.
It would have been easy, If you would’ve said, “Blow-off the fucking head.”
Martha dinner - So well prepared. Hmmm, I missed the month When I was the fare.
Turn back, That cartoon! I love this show! Let’s watch this head blow, Then off we’ll go.
So fucking what? It wasn’t real. It’s all over. No big deal.
Take a brick Smash the head. So fucking what? Already dead.
She’s pretty, Even has a twin: Hyde On the other side.
Cut it down Whatever its size: Look at the new Pretty bland view.
1. Punch two holes in the wall. 2. Put in heads. 3. Lift legs.
Why not, give me a call Better yet, give me two! In fact, here’s my cell, Now go to hell.
There are monsters.
When getting hammered: Point your toes.
To relieve pain? Try Bullet.
If you have anything left In your heart: Sell it.
Sell everything, Toss the rest.
First, roll your eyes And put down the phone. Next, fuck your friend Like you’re alone.
In the day She complains - you fry. At night You talk - she cries. During sleep She dreams - you die.
If it makes sense, You’re fucked. If it doesn’t, You’re fucked. Where is the problem? You’re fucked.
Hanging on To the thread Of life Like it was a rope.
If Rain Dogs was made In a chicken coop In Petaluma, I’m moving To a cathouse In Dallas.
Fuck the fall! I don’t care Jack About Frost.
Ask me, What I cannot do? Take a brilliant hue And turn it blue.
Your gifts as a cook Are certainly real. You’ve made wonder A dingy meal.
No more Fucking quit. I’ve had it with Idiots.
My name? Fucking Scumbag.
Take your place In the mall With the rest Of them all.
If it’s between Disney World and Ronald McDonald? Take the mouse, Friend to louse.
I love Splash Mountain and Big Mac, Big Screen and Wolverine - And Lobotomies… Are they back?
Keep up your chin! If it’s broke Must be thin.
“Sure. Let’s keep in touch!” ( While you spy A hole For your soul ).
People mean well. People are swell. “See! On TV!”
Flip the burgers, Check the fries: The modern Odyssey.
Appeal is possible, That’s certainly true. Its worth: One “Happy Meal.”
A big sale At the mall Took her (And her friends!) By surprise.
( SShhh, new friend. Forget my phone: Pull out your cock I’ll eat the bone.
Knock on the door… What knock on the door? “O, look over here!” “At my rear!”
Trust me! When you’re dry, You’ll forget My guy.
Which is better? Couldn’t possibly tell? Both get bigger When they swell.
Come my ass! I sent my soul-mate Packing.
You’re new and not too bright, So, I’ll make it easy: 1. He won’t be home For a while. 2. When I spread my legs It makes four smiles.
Sure, it’s tough With new cock. But what are my options In hard times?
Pulling out, Fucking quit.
I am not a lawyer, But I know What to do: Smash the face.
The price tag On your booty Says: FREE.
O, You look red And out of wind? Just like the new dick.
Twelve o’clock: Time to cry. It’s the only time You can see.
Laughed, Loved, Cried, Then left.
Make friends happy, Make parents happy, Make shrink happy: Trash people!
That’s not my job! I have a job: It pays $12.00 and hour.
Shoulders Become Waterfalls.
True, its often said, “Beware, Gemini’s are twins.” But you’ll only see double After being fucked over.
Believe me when I say: I love you. I need you. But what can I do? I pay my shrink $60 an hour.
The speed at which You become LA Has nothing to do With the freeways.
You’re confused? Need some time? Really. Can I’ll get back to you, After I suck this?
Of course, I’m proud. You’re now an LA IDG! (Independent Daddy’s Girl) Who can please her Boss And whoever’s around.
I love you to the end of time. And, oh! Here it is.
What is there to say? This is LA: Go Die On The Freeway!
“Ready?” Now, this is when You smash his head Against the pavement.
Honestly, I mean it. It’ll be hard Every once and a while To fit you in.
What good would it do To beat her black and blue? A lot. What good did it do To beat her black and blue? A lot.
Of course you can’t Get out of the rut: You have to try.
The strength and power Of your position Rests on your ability Not to think.
Without the Headshrink The money I save Can go towards Giving Head.
The only lions you can Estimate Are on the comforter.
Rest assure, You’re in good company. Most people see thought As inconvenient.
Umbrellas Only break When in use.
Fucking drive straight ahead! Fuck the road! We gotta get to the next fucking party.
Your cap Says GAP. Your sweater Says GUESS. Your skirt Says BANANA REPUBLIC.
You’re a bony little girl Ready for another.
Tiny drops Of rain Can relieve Pain For a moment.
It didn’t take long To get to The big city And all the small jobs.
Now, I see: Since it was to be, We knew it to be, Kill the bees.
With a drone in your ass, And a bee on your ass, You’ll have to wait a moment To sucker the next stinger.
You and “the robot” Will be great friends. Both have the same Mentality.
Become another gem Of the Age: A Fucking Piece of Trash.
Jail Bait Take me to prison Away from Martha women.
Try my new number It’s the old.
I know exactly What you like to hear: Nothing.
On your back For this job done. The next one Is on the run.
Your place Under the sun Is between the sheets.
Even if you won The California Lottery, You couldn’t recognize The prize.
“X” Is the symbol for “Space.”
You can’t dig out Of the fucking hole. That’s why so many Frequent it.
It’s not hard To care little For History.
Poor Little Girl. You seem sad, Did it have to come to an end? Here, lay next to me And bring it right out. Now, let’s count All the new smiles That are made when you bend over: I think eight!
Dick got me In all sorts of trouble… Head saved my ass.
The pain you sew Spells curtains.
Lied to yourself Betrayed a friend. But there’s hope With the new cosmetologist!
Two brown bottles of beer. One green label Torn off.
A story without a point Is never ending.
It is such a relief To Kill, Destroy, Mangle, Shred, Obliterate, Love.
Pull out the plug: Lights go out. Pull out of love: Lights go out. So what.
I’m pleased to hear The new voice: You must be proud Of trash.
How does one go from “What a life!” to “Just a life?” Oh, it was “done to me.”
Dr Daddy solves his problems With poison pills. And the daughter kills Without a license.
I can learn To make me happy By fucking you over.
You have learned how To reach new heights By ripping the VE Out of love.
Must we always discuss How I fucked you over?
If it doesn’t matter to you What I say Then read my mind: “Fuck off!”
It’s just a story! Going from Tinkerbell To Tink: Deafening Hell.
If I could only Clear my skin The people I fuck over Could see my grin.
Of course It’s easy to introduce The concept of forget When you don’t know.
The boys in your life Make like the bee On your behind And leave your sorry ass.
Thank God I have friends: Otherwise, I would never Hear the end of it.
Not once Did she crack the book Next to her blankie – ( How did it get there, anyway? Some learned elf? ) Clearly pictured there In ink ( It’s so black! ) Was her beauties ear Or a favorite daisy ( I love flowers! ) Looking back.? And the meaning of goodbye When it’s spoken.
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