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The Holidays can be sooooo stressful… MY BOX LET ME DOWN At the Holiday Party, Fabian selected a box from under the tree. While the inquisition elf questioned him, Fabian found that his box was empty…unless the gift was meant to be treegreen tissue paper. Even good old Charley Brown gets a lump of coal. But it turns out that The Fabe had picked up a mere prop box that was part of the church’s seasonal décor! Making another selection, Fabian got a gift from Santa after all. At the end of the evening, there was an unclaimed gift on the table. Hmmm. Sherlock Downey, Jr. might suggest that someone else had selected yet another prop during the course of the festivities, thus creating an extra true gift! It’s elementary.
Creepy Elf eying Fabian’s box
BLITZING BLITZEN Speaking of the church holiday décor, earlier in the month your favorite blog had reported on the wood sculpture carved by some twisted Geppetto. Posing with the Perv Santa has now become a ritual—like kissing the Blarney Stone or mounting Rudolph.
Apparently Mario hoped to put Blitzen out of his misery with a loaded finger gun.
Like when you hold your girlfriend’s hair while she toilet-pukes, Ron held Blitzen’s head until the ordeal was over.
Willie prepared to give Santa a taste of his own medicine as James had Blitzen eating out of his hand.
PASS THE HAT Sherlockian talent was also displayed by Elise who was able to deduce from the form-fitting giftwrap that a hat was available among the presents. Recall that Elise is such a Mad Hatter that she makes her own Mad Hatter hats for Mad Hatter Club Nights, and she marched as Madam Hatter in the Mad Mardi Gras parade. So she was able to sniff out that Stetson and crowned herself with panache. Alas, it was stolen by David who looked very dashing and rhinestone cowboyish (considering that he is the Oom-Pah-Pah Pride of Milwaukee); but he got his comeuppance when Marilynn made the second steal and the Stetson was then out of play.
Cowpoke David and Creepelfa
At least three other Western Stars had owned the Stetson in the past since it originally surfaced at the 2005 Holiday Party. A classic is always in style. Other gifts of the evening popular with thieves included binoculars, chocolates and porn.
Marilynn knows why Elise is smiling. Surly Santa will take care of her before the night ends.
The tables turned during an M.C. usurption as the capable Steve put Creepelfa into the hot seat.
MILK ME Here’s to more scandalous shenanigans and a bright new year at HMRC! When in doubt, keep dancing.