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The MineShaft
Where the real news is buried February 14, 2007 Vol. 1 Issue 7

In This Issue
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The Stench of Litigation Student Leadership Conference UMR Womens Service Project Iran’s Provocations Progress in North Korea Anti-War: Not Just for Dems Go Organic for Valentine’s Day No More Toga Fall Out Boy – Infinity On High The Single Truths The Death of an American Hero March Madness Lady Miners Getting a Job Fun Stuff

The Stench of Litigation Nathaniel d’Artagnan
On February 12th, it was announced that the Missouri Miner may be pursuing legal action against those parties whom they feel have unjustly stripped their student funding. Now, it is unlikely that you have not heard of this debate, but in case you have not been fortunate enough to have heard about this in the past few months, allow me to explain what happened to this funding. Each year the Student Activity Finance Board (SAFB) meets during the fall semester to interview organizations and discuss the potential funding for the next academic year’s student organizations. The SAFB then brings their suggestions forward to the student body to discuss during the open forum held each year (October 24th this past year). After this forum the SAFB takes the recommendations of Student Council and revises their suggestions for funding. These recommendations are then presented to all of Student Council and voted upon, usually after a great deal of discussion. This last year, a substantially lower level of funding was approved for the Missouri Miner than what was requested. While this may seem like a very controversial issue, the vote count during the meeting, according to the Student Council minutes, was 50 aye votes and 11 nay votes with 3 abstentions. That means that the motion carried with almost an 82% majority vote, much Continued on Page 9

A Note from Sybil
This past week has involved a great deal of internal discussion with regards to the future of our publication. At this point we would like to ask the readers if they would prefer a once a week publication or a bi-weekly publication (once every two weeks). This suggestion has been made to us and we would like to see what the readers have to say. In addition, we are currently pursuing the option of revealing some of our membership. This would solve the much needed issue of accountability that has been addressed with our publication. While we initially thought that anonymity would allow for all discussion to be on our content, we have found instead that the issue of who we are has just become even more controversial. There are some issues to consider however, so this decision may not be coming for a few weeks. In addition, we are currently looking at purchasing a P.O. Box to allow for anonymous donations from the faculty, staff, and students. Thanks again for reading, and, as always, you can email us at thenewmineshaft@gmail.com

Student Leadership Conference Arrian Syrus
This year, the Student Leadership Conference will be held on Saturday, March 3rd. The theme for this year’s conference is Keys for Success. The theme stems from the thought that the conference will help you to unlock the leader within you. The conference chairs have told me that this Leadership Conference will be much different than the previous one. First, there will be a free t-shirt available to anyone who attends. Additionally, there will be complimentary breakfast and a catered etiquette lunch provided for all attendees. The highlight of this Conference, beyond the conference experience, Page 1 the learning opportunities, and free t-shirt, is what the organizers are calling a “mini” career fair. The organizers have contacted numerous companies who will be sending a representative to the Conference to host another career fair for those in attendance. The 2007 Student Leadership Conference: Keys to Success is looking to be one of the better ones in the past few years. If you are interested in attending, please go to the Student Life website or ask someone in the Student Life Office (located on the second floor of Havener) for information.


There are only 2145 days until the End of the world (Mayan Calendar) 142 days until the tour de france 106 Days until The world series of Poker Begins 93 days until The Science Olympiad 60 days until Nigerian elections 59 days until Saint Louis Marathon 30 days until the best ever 16 days until a total lunar eclipse 7 days until our next issue 0 days until valentines day

Global UMR Women’s Service Project in
UMR’s Women as Global Leaders are going to be taking their third annual trip to Guatemala during Spring Break. The other two years, they have been protecting water supplies in cities by replacing old water filters. This year will be no exception. The girls come equipped with new filters developed by the UMR Ceramic Department. However, one thing has changed this year: the team has decided to add a new aspect to the trip, which is helping schools in need of supplies and money. They’re going to be volunteering at the villages around Guatemala and donating school supplies
Miles Netockny

the countdowns

the countdowns

as they go. I’m sure you’re wondering how you can help, so here’s where you all come in. Women as Global Leaders are asking for any donations of basic school materials (i.e. pencils, paper, pens, etc.), monetary donations, and soda pop-tabs (it helps them collect money) to a donation box outside of the Residential College Office. In addition, the girls are having a Bake Sale this week only at Havener or the Residential College. If you have any further questions, you can contact Amalie McCarthy at aemvhd@umr.edu.

Iran’s Provocations Arrian Syrus
Source: The Wall Street Journal

Progress in North KoreaKant Sophia
Today North Korea tentatively accepted an aid for disarmament deal with the United States. Pending approval from Pyongyang and Washington, the text would grant President Bush’s foreign policy team a victory. In addition to providing for the denuclearization of North Korea, the deal would set long term goals for all countries involved, including diplomatic relations and a treaty to end the Korean War. The negotiations with North Korea have created parallels with Iran, causing critics of U.S. foreign policy to call for talks with Tehran as well. The implementation of the deal will be challenging in that North Korea has not shown a willingness to do anything that would weaken Kim Jong Il’s power.

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U.S. military officials finally laid out detailed evidence on Sunday that Iranian-supplied weapons are killing American soldiers in Iraq. The issue now is the lesson the Bush Administration and the American political establishment will learn about dealing with Iran. Our guess is that a large part of Washington will pretend the evidence doesn’t exist, suggest the intelligence isn’t proven, or claim that it’s all the Bush Administration’s fault for “bullying” Iran. This was the impulse behind the Baker-Hamilton Commission’s recommendation late last year that the U.S. “engage” Tehran to help us find some honorable diplomatic or political Continued on Page 3 Page 2


Politics Anti-War: Not Just For Democrats
Drake Drache

Last week we all got to watch the Senate sit around and, in the end, do nothing to curb the war in Iraq. What does this mean to us? At this point it means that apparently we are going to continue on with the current policy in Iraq. Even with control of the Senate, the Democrats were unable to force any kind of vote because of Republican loyalty and their leadership keeping party members in

check. Thankfully for the Democrats it will be much easier in the House. This week the Democrats are planning to bring forth a resolution opposing the troop increase proposed by President Bush. As we all know, the House is currently controlled by the Democrats and they will likely be unified in their support Continued on Page 4 penetrator.” Unlike the jerry-rigged Iraqi shells that Sunni extremists have used to inflict the vast majority of casualties against U.S. forces, the EFP is shaped to penetrate armor, making it effective against harder targets than Humvees. The U.S. Stryker brigade now in Baghdad has been finding them in the city with increasing regularity. In the past, this type of roadside bomb has been used against Israeli tanks by Iranian-backed Hezbollah guerrillas in Lebanon. According to the Defense Department, Iranian officials detained recently by U.S. forces in Iraq possessed documents suggesting their involvement in this arms trade. One of them was Moshin Chizari, a very senior Revolutionary Guards commander arrested but later released because of his “diplomatic” status in December. “Iran is a significant contributor to attacks on coalition forces, and also supports violence against the Iraqi security forces and the Iraqi people,” said a Defense official in Baghdad. “Significant” is an important word here. Sunni extremists affiliated with al Qaeda and Saddam’s Baath Party remain the largest threat Page 3

Continued from Page 2 solution in Iraq. But the evidence about Iranianstyle munitions shows how wishful such thinking is. The Iranians don’t want a political solution that would allow a U.S.-backed moderate Shiite government to rule in Baghdad. Their goal is drive us home and thus allow their radical Shiite allies to hold sway and make Iran the dominant regional power. They are assuming that bloodier the defeat they can impose, the less likely the U.S. will be to ever consider promoting regime change in Tehran or Damascus. Pentagon sources have been saying for several years that Iranianstyle munitions have been appearing in Iraq, and arms smugglers have been caught coming across the Iranian border. What’s new is that the Iranian-marked weapons have actually been put on display and an estimate of their toll made public: more than 170 Americans killed in action and more than 600 wounded. The main culprit is a specially made roadside bomb the Army calls an EFP, or “explosively formed


to American forces in Iraq by far. And we don’t believe that the news about Iran should cause anyone to lose sight of the primary U.S. mission in the coming months: securing Baghdad against Sunni terror, so that Iraqi Shiites won’t turn to militias for protection. Still, it would be nice if the Bush Administration and Members of Congress would send Tehran the message that it will not be allowed to kill Americans with impunity. President Bush has been speaking out, but the main concern of Congress seems to be deterring Mr. Bush rather than telling Iran to stop killing GIs. Won’t any of the Democratic Presidential candidates speak out and say that no matter what they think of Iraq, Iranian help for killing Americans is a hostile act? Hitting Revolutionary Guards targets, or Iranian weapons factories if they can be located, also shouldn’t be out of the question when the lives of American soldiers are at stake. If General David Petraeus, the new and hardly reckless Iraq theater commander, thinks such pressure on Iran is crucial to securing his Baghdad mission, he deserves the go-ahead. The larger lesson here concerns the nature of the Iranian regime and its nuclear ambitions. Iran’s provocations in Iraq have been deadly enough, but they might be far more aggressive if the mullahs no longer fear the ability or the willingness of the U.S. to hit back. As a nuclear power, they may well become even more reckless in attacking the interests of the U.S. and its regional allies. Then we’ll see what a real bully looks like.

Go Organic for Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and purchasing flowers is a major thought in everyones’ minds. But did you know that the flowers you are buying could be causing lung problems, dermatitis, cancer, and miscarriages to those that work with them? When the Environmental Working Group tested rose samples, twelve different pesticides were found, including two that are probable carcinogens. One of those pesticides was even at a level fifty times higher than the amount allowed in food! Over fifty percent of the farm workers complained of symptoms linked to pesticide poisoning, and studies have shown that in towns near flower farms there have been a higher number of cancer cases, miscarriages, and birth defects. The

Arts & Science
Walter McQuillin

pesticides not only contaminate the farm workers, florists, and possibly the consumers, but also the environment by running into the water and evaporating into the atmosphere. For perfect roses, humans are getting sick and fish are dying. Consumers can make a difference by purchasing organic flowers and creating a demand in the flower industry for them. The leading place to buy such flowers is online at www. organicbouquet.com. The flowers are slightly more expensive but still reasonable for Valentine’s Day flower prices. If you order now, the flowers can be delivered by Valentine’s Day. How much are you willing to pay to give the one you love a flower without chemical residue? the debate ends later this week. The current projections are that anywhere from thirty to sixty Republicans will cross party lines and vote for the resolution with almost every Democrat supporting the resolution. This is likely to happen despite the very staunch stance of Republican leadership within the House. This means that we could be getting ready to witness the ramifications of Congress aligning themselves against the decisions of President Bush and his policy in Iraq. This change in policy is not unexpected within the House, however. It is fairly common for the House to change their direction based on public opinion much more easily than their Senate counterparts. This means that with the overwhelming public disapproval of the war and how it is being hanPage 4

A recent development in Rolla has resulted in a tragic event: the possible eventual death of the Toga party. The development has been in the works for a long time, and is beyond the control of any of us. It is with deep regret that I must inform you that Wal-Mart will no longer have a fabric department. Wal-Mart Inc. recently announced that they would be cutting back on the number of stores throughout the nation that carry a fabric department. Originally, the Rolla Wal-Mart announced that they would not be removing their fabric department; however, if you have taken a walk in Wal-Mart recently (say, to purchase that new fabric for the most recent Toga party), you’ll Continued on Page 10 dled, there is no reason to think that the House would not side with the people. What this means further is that the Senate, who is already discussing bringing the resolution back up, may switch slightly. While the Senate does not historically switch based solely on public opinion, it becomes more difficult when the House is also supporting the public opinion on such a controversial issue. So you may be asking why this is important to you. Well, if you happen to be a part of the overwhelming majority of American citizens who openly oppose the direction that the President is taking in Iraq, you should be happy to know that this may be slowly coming to an end. Looks like the country is finally ready for a change.

No More Toga Luke Merchant

Continued from Page 3 of the resolution. This, however, is not where the interesting part of the story truly lies. The real story is in the fact that this time it will be the Republicans crossing the aisle and uniting with the Democrats. The last time a resolution about Iraq was brought forth we saw the GOP ally together and more than forty Democrats come to the side of the Republicans in the vote to support the policies of President Bush without setting a date for withdrawal. That is not going to happen this time. The political climate in Washington is now set to see the opposite happen. With the recent unification of the Democratic Party we will see a much different vote after all


Entertainment Fall Out Boy – Infinity On High
Horace Horsecollar

Fall Out Boy is an almost universally shunned band in any genre outside of pop-punk. In fact, they’re even shunned by a lot of their older fans that are disgusted at the direction they’ve taken since their “older” days. What direction is that? Basically, FOB’s hardcore roots are all but a ghost of the past, with the band continuing an evolution into poppier material. How poppy? JayZ makes a small cameo in the first few seconds of the album. Many people that have a problem with Fall Out Boy blame the nasally vocals of Patrick Stump, the recent rap obsession of bassist Pete Wentz, and the lack of memorable/distinct songs. Many people will be pleased to hear that Stump’s vocals have improved dramatically; they’re less nasally, more clear, varied, and smoother. In some songs, he even starts resembling the croon of Maroon 5’s singer, Adam Levine. Luckily, some of the hip-hop

based producers that Wentz has brought in to oversee some tracks have actually increased the quality of songwriting. Wentz is the chief lyricist; he happens to have a reputation of seeming to construct song lyrics as a string of clever one-liners. Unfortunately he continues this trend on the album. Even though some of the lines are very clever, the fact that they all seem to be strung together really hurts the continuity within the individual songs. The problem with whole sections of the album passing by without notice is too present on this album. Perhaps it’s because so many songs sound derivative of other pop bands on the market, from My Chemical Romance to Ashlee Simpson to AFI. Rating: C+ The last complaint I have is that it Recommended Tracks: “The Take seems like FOB has tried to saturate Over, The Break’s Over,” “This this album with ballad-esque songs. Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race,” Some are pulled off really well “Golden” (“Golden”), but others just make it being true and makes people feel inadequate who have no right to be. It’s commonly thought that life can only be completely fulfilling with a significant other. However, there are many other ways to have a full life, including having valuable friendships and indulging in other passions like music, traveling, learning, building and designing projects, etc. There is so much more to life than being in a relationship, like being yourself, being independent, and doing as much as you can with your life without feeling the need to dedicate yourself to someone else. Couples may argue that being in a relationship is a lot of fun, and datPage 5 ing is a great experience that adds joy and excitement to your life. While that’s true, there are a lot of other things that are fun and a lot of dating stuff you can do with your friends to have just as much fun. Also, being single frees you up to do even more fun and exciting things with your life, since you’re not tied down and you don’t have anyone heavily relying on you. You can be a lot more spontaneous, can go traveling, and do more daring things. In addition, you’re not dragged down by arguments, demands, or having to get permission to do things you’d like to do. Continued on Page 6

too much. However, the good things about this album really start to show that Fall Out Boy can, theoretically, adopt this poppy direction and do well with it. First off, there are enough catchy hooks here that you could go fishing with them for a year. The songwriting is more intricate, the melodies are sweeter, and the songs in general are more interesting. If Fall Out Boy could start making albums that don’t sound derivative, if not downright identical, of their older material, they could start displaying the talent for pop music that they obviously have. As it is, this album just shows the potential for what could have been a really good album.

The Single Truths Netockny Miles
This is the time of the year when couples get a little more couple-y, and that friend of yours that’s in a relationship absolutely will not leave you alone, because you’re single. It’s Valentine’s Day - that obnoxious kid that I’d like to punch in the face because it says that being single isn’t okay, and that the only path to happiness is to have a significant other. I would like to punch Valentine’s Day in the face and throw rocks at it, not because I’m bitter, but because it’s so far from

Entertainment The Death of an American Hero
Milford Cubicle

A terrible tragedy occurred last Thursday, February 8, 2007. As you all know, Anna Nicole Smith, beloved American role model, died, and I don’t believe the country will ever be the same again because of it. I tensely watched the television throughout Friday, awaiting the confirmation that Smith’s death wasn’t because of drugs; that news would have devastated me, since I looked up to Anna as a trusted role model. I never did drugs, never drank alcohol, never dangerously fluctuated weight, and never became a stripper all because I wanted to follow her shining example. I realize that you may be under the deluded impression that such recent deaths as former President Gerald Ford, WWF wrestler Bam Bam Bigelow, and Korean pop singer U;Nee might be a little more important and worth considering. You are wrong though, because you are obviously

not focusing on the important issue here: who has the largest breasts? Yes, I realize Bam Bam may still win that category, but he doesn’t have flowing golden hair (unless you consider “obnoxious flame tattoo over his skull” as “flowing golden hair”). Really, what did President Ford ever do anyways? Pardon Nixon? Big deal; apparently Ford thinks he’s God, because only God can forgive. U;Nee killed herself by hanging, which would be exciting except that every Korean pop star ends up hanging herself. Thus we’re left with the only important person of this group: our dear Anna. Smith went through many hardships in her life: she dropped out of high school and thus had an eighth grade education, she married at 17 and had a kid at 18, divorced and quickly married a practically-dead billionaire, was involved in a legal Continued on Page 9 you are at kissing, etc). There’s no confusion over whether he/she likes you for you, or whether they just want sex or just think you’re hot. You know friends like being with you because you’re fun to be with, are a good friend, and easy to get along with. Also, you’re friends because they want to be friends with you, not because they’re desperate and need to be with someone and you’re good enough for now. Friendships, in general, may not always be as deep of relationships (although they can be), but are usually more genuine and are there when you need them. As far as adding to your personality and personal Page 6

Continued from Page 5 Also, there’s the deep relationship aspect – how good it is to be that close and intimate with someone, and how it adds to your personality and says a lot about who you are since you have to be sacrificial and compatible with people to have a good relationship. Yet again, I’d like to point out that friendships can be just as deep and meaningful if not more so than a couple-relationship. With friendships, it’s all about who you are on the inside, instead of in relationships where physical things matters (i.e. appearance, how good


experiences, being single helps you to have the freedom to grow in who you are, by working on yourself to be your personal best instead of trying to please someone else or emotionally sitting still because you’re good enough for your significant other. “But don’t you want a family later??? And have kids… (etc, etc.)???” It’s perfectly acceptable to say that that’s way too far off to think about now, or just to say “No. That’s not the lifestyle I’d prefer.” You can be very content without having a family or getting married. According to the 2005 US Census Bureau, only 56% of men and 51% of women in the United States are married (excluding separated, but technically married, people). This tells you that it’s normal to not be married and not have a family, but have a successful and happy life as a single person. You don’t have to want or have kids – there are plenty of people populating the world right now that it’s okay not to want kids. Also, don’t forget that there are other ways to leave a legacy than leaving your DNA – like contributing to scientific discoveries, impacting others’ lives, or starting your own business. What I’m trying to say here isn’t that couples are bad or that relationships aren’t meaningful – I hope all of you in good, healthy relationships are having a happy Valentine’s Day – but that it’s perfectly okay to be single, and you should enjoy being single instead of feeling pressured to find someone or feeling inadequate because you don’t have anyone right now. So buy yourself some chocolate (they’ll go on sale tomorrow!) and enjoy yourself.

March Madness in February
With Selection Sunday less than a month away, this is (almost) the best time of the year to watch college basketball. I say almost because this is still February and they don’t call next month “March Madness” for nothing. This time of the year, it’s nice to look at the top 25 standings to see which teams are in and out of the race. Due to the overbearing length of an article like that, we’ll only be looking at the top 10 alongside some notable mentions. Starting at the top of the poll, we have the defending tournament champions from Florida. Coming off their last game against Kentucky (who is ranked number 18), Florida showed that they are still number in both the offensive and defensive sides of the ball. Whether they beat a team by 50 points or three points, they just simply win. Next in the standings is UCLA, coming off a 70-65 loss to unranked West Virginia. UCLA’s remaining schedule only has one ranked team, but look for them to slide farther down the poll before the month is over. Third in the standings is Ohio State with a record of 20-3. While not exactly known for their basketball, Ohio State has proven that they are a contending powerhouse in the NCAA this year behind their number one scorer, Greg Oden. Coming in fourth is Wisconsin, who is coming off a wind against Iowa and look to make a push in this poll over the next month with their only ranked team left being Ohio State. Next we have North Carolina who is coming off a win over Wake Forest, 104-67. North Carolina may be the best team in the NCAA and

NCAA Basketball USA Today Poll Week 14 1. Florida 2. UCLA 3. Ohio State 4. Wisconsin 5. North Carolina 6. Pittsburgh 7. Texas A&M 8. Kansas 9. Butler 10. Memphis 11. Nevada 12. Marquette 13. Air Force 14. Washington State 15. Oregon 16. Duke 17. Oklahoma State 18. Kentucky 19. Alabama 20. Southern Illinois 21. USC 21. Notre Dame 23. Georgetown 24. Indiana 25. Texas ment last year. Memphis’ current record is at 21-3 and they have a fairly easy schedule ahead of them. Watch to see if Memphis’ experience last year helps them with their push this year in the tournament and if they can knock off any unsuspecting victims. Lets take a look at some teams that have a history of creating a fuss during March. Starting off, we have Duke, who surprisingly is not in the top ten, but with a record of 18-5, doesn’t deserve it. I don’t think it’s important though, because when March comes, Coach K. will have his team Continued on Page 8

no matter where they end up in the tournament, they will surely make a push for the championship behind their star, Tyler Hansbrough. That rounds out our top five predominant teams that look to make a run in the NCAA tournament. Team number six is Pittsburgh, who is coming off a win over Providence. They have a fairly tough schedule in the coming month, going up against two ranked opponents in their last six games. Look for them to move down the poll a little, but they will still be playing when March comes around. Quietly in the poll is Texas A&M, who’s coming off a 66-55 win off Nebraska and currently ranked seventh. Look for Texas to stay stationary in the polls, but not make it too far in the dance due to experience. Kansas, who is known for their basketball excitement in the month of March, is coming off a 92-74 win against Missouri and ranked eighth in the overall poll. They have one of the easiest schedules left of all the ranked teams; look for them to make a push into the higher standings on the poll as well as one in the tournament, as they do every year. Number nine is Butler, who may be one of the most underrated teams in the top ten with a record of 23-3, however, they are coming off a 77-64 loss to Wright State and are currently not even first in their conference. They do, however, have a decently easy schedule ahead of them, with their only ranked opponent left being Southern Illinois. Last, but not least, we have Memphis, who some are surprised are in the top ten even after their big push in the tournaPage 7


Lady Miners Maurice
To the surprise of many, believe it or not, we have a winning basketball team, and a pretty good one at that. While I can honestly say I have never been to a Lady Miner’s basketball game, I can say that I have been to many women’s basketball games and in many aspects, prefer them to mens’. Women’s basketball seems, in my mind, to be more pure, more the way basketball was originally meant to be played. It’s a game where your strategy overlooks the pure strength and talent of the players. On any given day your team can not only compete, but also win. With that in mind, I bring to your attention the current situation that the Lady Miners are in. It turns out that with only four games left in their regular season, if they win out, they will advance into the playoffs. Last year the Lady Miners advanced into the playoffs and proved their worth, making it to the second round of the playoffs. They can use this for experience, as they will once again try to make it deeper toward every teams’ goal, a championship. This Thursday is the first of the four games in which the Lady Miners have to extend their season into the playoffs. They will be playing Rockhurst, a game that starts at 5:30 PM and that I deeply encourage everyone to go to. The game on Saturday against Drury (also at 5:30 PM) will be their senior game. The Lady Miners currently have four senior students on their roster. Whether or not they make it into the playoffs, this will be the seniors’ last home game at UMR. It has been passed down by word of mouth that the athletic director would not only like to see

a full crowd to support the seniors and their last game at home, but that the entire crowd wear green in support for them. A quick glance over the numbers from the Lady Miners’ season shows that they are currently riding a three game winning streak. Some other notable numbers are that they are outscoring their opponents by an average of four points every game. Four points may not seem like a lot in one game, but averaged over the season, it is quite an incredible feat. Also, they are leading all of their opponents in field goal percentage, three point percentage, rebounds, assists, turnovers and steals. With that combination of elements, the team can pull out a victory on any day. Breaking down their scoring per period, the Lady Miners tend to come on strong toward the end, which always leads to a very exciting game for the players and the fans. I think it is safe to say that we do not support our local sports teams enough here at UMR. I do not think it is a lot to ask to give up two nights to go support your local basketball team, especially one that is about to make history. It is very important for you to attend the game on Thursday, but it is vitally important that you come support your Lady Miners on Saturday at their senior game

(and wear green!). Every team and every player deserves to hear a roar of the crowd. Let your Lady Miners hear it one more time, and let it propel them into the playoffs that they have worked so hard to reach.

Continued from Page 8 ready to make a championship run in the tournament as they do every year. Another honorable mention should go to that of Kentucky, whose last couple of years have been disheartening compared to that of the rich history of Kentucky basketball. Kentucky has a tough schedule ahead, with their last game against number one ranked Florida. I wish them all the best, and to see them in the tournament. However, it would not surprise me for them to be absent. Some not so good notable mentions are that of Virginia Tech, Clemson, Arizona and UMLV, who this week were bumped off the top 25 list. While these are definitions of borderline teams, it is safe to say that some of them won’t make it. However, them and probably the 20-25 ranked teams in the poll will have the next month to prove that they are worthy to play in basketball’s greatest experience, March Madness.


UMR Men’s Lacrosse Schedule
(Submitted by our readers)
Day Saturday Saturday Sunday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Sunday Saturday Date 2/17/2007 2/24/2007 2/25/2007 3/3/2007 3/10/2007 4/7/2007 4/14/2007 4/21/2007 4/22/2007 4/28/2007 Time 8:00 PM 3:00 PM 2:00 PM 2:00 PM 2:00 PM 2:00 PM 2:00 PM 7:00 PM 12:00 PM 4:00 PM Location St Louis, MO Memphis, TN Searcy, AR Rolla, MO Rolla, MO Rolla, MO Rolla, MO Rock Island, IL Mt. Vernon, IA Rolla, MO Opponent Emory University University of Memphis Harding Pittsburgh State University RHIT - CCLA University of Arkansas SLU Augustana Cornell College Ole’ Miss

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Continued from Page 6 struggle to obtain half a billion dollars, had a daughter with at least 4 potential fathers, and had a druggedup son die. Really, we should be pitying her and her family. I think it is this reason that caused the news of her death to be plastered over news channels for the entire day Friday. After all, it’s not like anything happened with Iran in relation to Iraq.


If I were to cure cancer tomorrow and then die the next day, I wouldn’t even get the amount of press coverage her death has gotten. Honestly, that’s how it should be. I dreadfully await the day Carrot Top dies; I can only imagine that TV will be stopped for days.

Getting a Job
Briony Thorne

thenewmineshaft@gmail.com of the four media organizations here on campus. Now that you know what is going on, let me explain to you what is wrong with the charges that the Missouri Miner has levied against the aforementioned people/organizations. According to a member of the SAFB, who has requested they remain as an unnamed source, the cuts were “completely unrelated to content.” The same source went on to explain that the cuts were made to the salaries of the Miner and not the required aspects of the paper. In fact, Mr. Gantner, former SAF chair, said that “The board’s intention was to reduce the need for students to pay other students salaries.” Assuming this is the accurate interpretation of the SAFB’s cuts to the Miner, it appears that the basis for this lawsuit would be innately flawed. In addition to my concern regarding the legality and legitimacy of the Missouri Miner’s claims, I was also interested to see the reaction of Student Council to this action. Thankfully I was contacted by Student Body President Ms. Lauren Huchingson and able to discuss this issue with her. While she was unable to give me too much information because Page 9

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Many students find themselves looking for summer internships, coops, and full time jobs this time of year. Luckily for UMR, there is a huge Career Fair coming on February 20th and plenty of events to help you prepare. Today, everyone should find themselves at Boeing Day. SimiContinued on Page 10 of the legal ramifications of this issue, she did make a couple of points clear to me. From our conversation, Ms. Huchingson said that she fully supports the ability for SAFB to recommend student fees and the right of the Student Body to decide what fees will be applied for the coming year. Ms. Huchingson also said, “I strongly support the students and the decision they made with respect to SAFB funding.” Ms. Huchingson went on further to explain the importance of SAFB and that, while the process may not be perfect, the work put into the process each year is amazing and shows a great level of dedication by the participants. The letter did give Student Council and the rest of those accused of impropriety, a whole seven days to achieve the desired resolution though. If, for some reason, the resolution is not able to be completed by 5 P.M. on Monday, February 19th, 2007 the document states that the result will be a lawsuit. Updates will be given as we receive them. If you have any particular questions please feel free to contact either Ms. Huchingson for an official point of view or me for a very unofficial point of view on the situation.

Continued from Page 1 higher than was needed to pass such a fee recommendation. Upon this decision being made The Missouri Miner came out in strong opposition to not only the vote but also the SAFB themselves. While many were upset with these actions, they were usually ignored as simply being the actions of people who were upset with a decision that was made. Most people seemed to think the issue would go away, since the student body had voted on the issue. Apparently we were wrong. This brings us back to the current issue of the possible legal action against those people who have been responsible for the “unconstitutional censorship” of the Missouri Miner. Those people “responsible” for this “censorship” are: Student Council, SAFB, Mark Potrafka, Student Affairs, Chancellor Carney III, UMR, and the Board of Curators. So what is it that the Missouri Miner wants to happen? Well they want the entire sum that they originally requested from SAFB this past funding cycle and an agreement that states that content based cuts will never be made in the future to any


Continued from Page 4 notice that the fabric department is disappearing. The Rolla Wal-Mart manager confirms that Wal-Mart would be removing our sole source of toga material: the fabric department. In case you can’t tell, this comes as a great disappointment to me. Outside of toga parties, I enjoy utilizing the fabric department for a variety of reasons: knitting a scarf, painting pictures, making a new cover for the couch so when people puke on it, I can just throw the old one away and cover it again. As you see, the fabric department has so many uses, and thus I’m completely devastated by its disappearance. Some of the students I spoke to while researching this article talked to me about some of the issues they see with the fabric department leaving. One talked about how he would use the department to patch his clothes to make them more “fashionable”. One of my sisters said that she liked to use the fabric department to create festive book covers for her textbooks. Yet another person said that the fabric department

No Toga

is integral to their ability to toga party (redundant I know, but I really love toga parties). On a serious note, the fabric department of the Rolla Wal-Mart is leaving. Wal-Mart has opted to expand other sections that are more profitable, such as the alcohol section, which you guys seem to really love. They also planned to prepare for St. Pat’s early this year and stock up on rug cleaner and green paint. As we move beyond this tragedy, we must take stock of what Wal-Mart still provides for us. Cheap food (like Mission Chips) and beverages (to go with Mission Chips) are staples of every college student’s diet. We can find sheets for toga parties elsewhere (K-Mart here we come!), and although this will significantly hurt MY ability to toga for a couple of days, I hope that those with practical uses of the department will be able to find another outlet for their creative side. As a side note, if anyone has interesting ways of utilizing the fabric department, send them in to thenewmineshaft@gmail.com, and we might print them in the coming issue.

Extras Job
Continued from Page 9 lar in nature to CAT Week, Boeing Day is an opportunity for students to really learn about Boeing and the career opportunities they have to offer. So grab your resume and head on out to Boeing Day. The Career Opportunities Center (COC) is also sponsoring an event called Conquer the Career Fair on February 19, 2007 at 5:00pm in 305 Norwood Hall. The COC gives the participants clues for how to be successful at the Career Fair and how to get potential employers to remember you. One of the COC’s most notable activities is the Etiquette Dinner they hold every semester. Any sophomore, junior, senior, or graduate student may attend the Etiquette Dinner, and it is as simple as reserving a spot on the COC website (www. umr.edu/career). The Etiquette Dinner is held at Zeno’s and has a minimum cost of $10 for a full five course meal. During the meal, participants are trained on fundamental proper dining etiquette. The COC prides itself on helping to prepare students for formal engagements they may encounter with their employer. There are two Etiquette Dinners this semester, on February 25th and March 4th. Sign up early to reserve a spot, and check the website to ensure you do not miss the deadline to register. Finally, remember to register with the COC early so the companies attending the career fair can see your resume. Also keep in mind that formal dress and a resume are required to enter the career fair.

the credits...
Sybil Nathaniel d’Artagnan Sophia Kant miles netockney maurice Arrian Syrus Horace Horsecollar Drake Drache Briony Thorne Milford Cubicle Walter McQuillin Luke Merchant Editor-in-Chief Editor-in-Chief Staff Writer Staff Writer/Secretary Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer/Editor Staff Writer Staff Writer NathanieldArtagnan@gmail.com sophiakant@gmail.com milesnetockny@gmail.com Mauricesports@gmail.com arrian.syrus@gmail.com horatius.horsecollar@gmail.com drakedrache@gmail.com briony.thorne@gmail.com sir.cubicle@gmail.com Walter.McQuillin@gmail.com

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PHD Comics

Fun Stuff

Math Square

Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction.

Last Week’s Solution
6 5 9







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