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The MineShaft
Where the real news is buried February 21, 2007 Vol. 1 Issue 8

In This Issue
Physics, Coffee, and Guitars 100 Acre Woods Rally 2 A Class of their Own 3 Civil Unions: A Step Forward 4 Jacques Thibaud Trio to come to UMR XM and Sirius Satellite Radio Planning Merger 6 Explosions in the Sky Top Ten Reasons to Sue UMR 7 Daughtry 8 Free to be Themselves 9 The Greatest Race in 50 Years 10 Holiday Season is Here! 1

Physics, Coffee, and Guitars Rich Lauren
Good company. Good stories. Good music. Oh yeah, and it is free. What is a better way to spend your Saturday evening? On periodic nights throughout the semester, Dr. J. Greg Story, Associate Professor of Physics, performs live at Alley Cats on Pine Street. One such night will be February 24th. Starting around 7 o’clock, Dr. Story will entertain the audience with what can best be described as an upbeat jazz-blues-folk medley of vocals, guitars, a mandolin and even a harmonica or two. This break in the vapid redundancy of routine that plagues the weekends of the typical UMR student is a welcome escape to something different. Spending a couple hours in a coffee shop while sipping sweets and relaxing to innovative melodies strummed out on a slide guitar (complete with a Tabasco sauce bottle slide) or mandolin could be the flourish needed to end the week on a high note (no pun intended). Veterans of his performances can expect old favorites like “Yesteryear” (acoustic and vocals) and “Surf’s
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A Note from Sybil
Just a few updates from us this week. First of all, as you can see on the cover page, Lauren Rich is serving as a guest writer for us. We are excited to have guest writers and encourage anyone interested in the future to contact us via our email account. As for administrative issues within The Mineshaft, we are currently working on acquiring a P.O. Box. This will allow us to accommodate the numerous requests to submit anonymous monetary donations to The Mineshaft. Lastly, to allow for easier access to our issues, we are currently looking into procuring and designing a website. Regarding the identities of our writers, we are still taking steps that will hopefully mean we can officially “come out” in the very near future. Assuming things progress as we hope we will be able to release our identities to the UMR community. As always, if you have any questions, concerns, or comments, email thenewmineshaft@gmail.com.

100 Acre Woods Rally
Quick, tight roads full of twists and turns make up this second race in the Rally-America Championship Series. This course, which takes place in Salem, Viburnum, and Potosi, is known for being the most scenic portion of the series, with its name originating from the forest in “Winnie the Pooh.” Pre-race activities begin Thursday and the start of the racing begins Friday at 1:31 pm and conPage 1

Miles Netockny

tinues until approximately 7:45 pm Saturday night. An automotive rally, which has nothing to do with picketing or causes, is a race composed of modified streetlegal cars which compete for which car can complete the same course in Picture from Lars Gange the least amount of time; cars begin the course in increments of time. The courses
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A Class of Their Own: Lucas McIntosh
UMR is famous for its exceptional students. This series, In a Class of Their Own, will feature students who are accomplishing the amazing. Do you know someone who exemplifies the best of UMR? Send their name to SophiaKant@ gmail.com, and they might be in the next issue. We all come to college with dreams. Lucas McIntosh is no different in that regard. When I asked Lucas what his goals for the future were, he responded “NASA. Astronaut. Every 7 year old boy wants to be a superhero or astronaut; seeing as the former must be kept secret so my loved ones aren’t harmed, I’ve opted for the latter. Wanted it so long I’ve forgotten how to want anything else. That’s okay, though. I love learning, knowledge, and whatnot, things of that sort. So, I don’t mind a decade of education.” Although Lucas has only been on campus for two years, he has participated in a variety of the activities that UMR has to offer. His resume now includes Thomas Jefferson Hall Association, the Residence Hall Association, the Chancellor’s Leadership Academy, and Opportunities for Undergraduate Research Experience with Dr. David Henthorn, a Chemical Engineering professor.
Sophia Kant

spiky hair…Eleven metric tons (metric, mind you: I am in France, after all) of paperwork. Obstacles. Lots of obstacles. Roadblocks. Things of that nature. Nothing was easy.” Once in Grenoble, Lucas encountered a language barrier, difficulties in finding the correct university, several days without sheets or blankets, and (most tragically) no peanut butter. However, the experience has been worth it. “It’s been sink or swim since my plane landed in Paris. And if you swim, you soar. It’s been terrifying, frustrating, rock-hard difficult. My mind kept sending up these warning flares: ‘Stay low.’ ‘Take cover.’ ‘Put your head between your legs and… et cetera.’ And yet, here I am—heart’s still beating, liver’s working overtime, and I’m still Picture from Lucas McIntosh kickin’. See, even while it’s been This semester, Lucas is adding one crazy hard, it’s also been every bit as more activity to this list—a semester fulfilling, exciting, and cuh-razy fun. abroad, studying at a Grenoble uni- Because it’s been all on me. There’s no safety line here—you just have to versity in France. Getting to France was no walk dig deep, paddle real hard, and pray in the park. According to Lucas, “I like mad that there are no sharks in grazed the 7th level of hell with my Continued on Page 9

Remember to

Adam Helton Page 2 Beth Groenke

thecountdown thecountdownthecountdownthecountdownth
2138 days until the End of the world (Mayan Calendar) 135 days until the tour de france 99 Days until The World Series of Poker Begins 86 days until The Science Olympiad 57 days until Nigerian elections 52 days until Saint Louis Marathon 40 days until the Royals opening day 39 days until the Cardinals opening day 31 days until Spring Break 22 days until the best ever 18 days until International Students Day 9 days until a total lunar eclipse 7 days until our next issue

Civil Unions: A Step Forward Drake Drache
This past Monday was an extremely important day in the fight for equal rights. I know that it may not have made front page news, but once again the Northeastern states are setting into motion one of the most monumental shifts in policy that this country has been witness to since its inception. I am of course talking about the decision that was made on Monday to allow civil unions for same sex couples in New Jersey. While New Jersey might not be the trailblazer in this arena (that title still goes to Massachusetts), this decision has reaffirmed that there are states that believe same sex couples deserve the same rights as heterosexual couples. With the recent passages of laws that have banned same sex marriages, this decision comes in stark contrast to past decisions by other states (for example, Missouri). While this decision did not fully grant the right to marry, it did allow for all of the same legal rights for different-sex couples. This means that Monday morning, at 12:01, hundreds of couples living in New Jersey were officially recognized as having the same legal rights as their married counterparts. In addition to simply recognizing past civil unions, which were granted in other states, this law allows for new couples to apply for civil union licenses. This means that 72 hours from Monday morning, the waiting period for marriage in the state of New Jersey, dozens of couples will become officially bound together by law. While some supporters of gay marriage do not believe that this decision completely upholds the court decision granting equal rights, it is definitely a step in the right direction. Obviously such a decision will always have backlash in our society. Many socially conservative groups have already declared that they will attempt to reverse the decision to allow civil unions. The current method that has been proposed by these groups is by putting a constitutional amendment into the state constitution to ban same sex marriages. At this point 45 different states have passed similar laws or amendments that ban all instances of same sex marriage. While the benefits of being legally recognized as a couple are quite numerous, there are some that stand above the rest. These benefits include, but are not limited to: adoption benefits, child custody rights, hospital visitation, medical jurisdiction, and spousal health care rights. This decision, however, is not the same as allowing for marriage. Many advocates for same sex marriage will continue to push for true equality in this area. Considering that there are currently five states in which civil unions are now legal between same sex couples (and one that allows for marriage) and the fact that even some church groups are now willing to marry same sex couples, it looks like we may finally be moving towards equality with respect to sexual preference.

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Jacques Thibaud Trio to come to UMR
The Jacques Thibaud Trio will perform at 8 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 27, at Christ Episcopal Church, 10th and Main streets in Rolla. The performance is co-sponsored by the arts, languages, and philosophy department at the University of MissouriRolla and the UMR Free Film Series and Arts Rolla! Violinist Burkhard Maiss, violist Philip Douvier, and cellist Bogdan Jianu, from Berlin, Germany, met at the Berlin School of Art and formed the trio in 1994. Since then, the group has received tremendous acclaim from audiences and critics in Europe, Japan, and North America. The group’s latest CD, “Live at Peaceful Bend Vineyard,” was recorded in concert in the cellar of the Steelville winery. The two-hour evening concert will include performances of “String Trio in E flat major, Op 3,” by Ludwig van Beethoven and “String Trio in A major, Op.27 No. 1,” by Heinrich von Herzogenberg. A CD of the evening’s performance will be available for purchase in April. “This extraordinary ensemble includes some of the best musicians in the world,” says Dr. Don Miller, assistant professor of music and director of UMR bands. “One of their favorite places in the world to perform is Rolla, Mo., because the
Arrian Syrus

audiences are incredible listeners.” The performance is made possible in part by the Charles Jackson band fund, an endowment started by Dr. David Oakley, professor emeritus of arts, languages and philosophy at UMR, in 1960s. The fund supports the UMR instrumental music program. Tickets will be $10 for the general public and free for UMR students. Tickets can be purchased at Kent Jewelry in Rolla, Mo., or by calling Arts Rolla at (573) 364-5539. All proceeds will benefit the 2007 music festival in Rolla, set for June 5-9.

XM and Sirius Satellite Radio Planning Merger
Arrian Syrus Source: The Wall Street Journal

The proposed $11.4 billion merger of struggling satellite-radio operators XM Satellite Radio Holdings Inc. and Sirius Satellite Radio Inc. sets a crucial test for the nation’s regulators: how to weigh the limits of consolidation against rapid changes in media technology. The deal is structured as a 50-50 “merger of equals,” giving XM and Sirius shareholders an equal stake in the combined company, and potentially uniting a roster of talent that includes Sirius’s shock jock Howard Stern and daytime-TV personality Oprah Winfrey, who is one of XM’s biggest stars. The agreement calls for Sirius Chief Executive Mel Karmazin to serve as chief of the new entity, which would have a total of more than $2.3 billion in long-term

debt. XM Chairman Gary Parsons would be chairman. But because XM and Sirius are the only two companies licensed by the Federal Communications Commission to offer satellite radio in the U.S., the deal is likely to face significant regulatory obstacles. It must win approval from the FCC, which has a 1997 rule on its books specifically forbidding such a merger. FCC Chairman Kevin Martin sounded an ominous note yesterday by stressing that the companies faced a high burden to show that consumers would benefit from the deal, which also requires the Justice Department’s blessing. The coming regulatory battle is likely to focus on the definition of satellite radio’s market. The two Page 4

companies are expected to argue that the rules established a decade ago, which require two satellite rivals to ensure competition, simply don’t apply in today’s entertainment world. Since 1997, a host of new listening options have emerged, making the issue of choice in satellite radio less important for consumers. Executives cite a new digital technology called HD radio, iPod digital music players, Internet radio and music over mobile phones as competitors that didn’t exist when the satellite licenses were first awarded. Consumers and their advocates are likely to worry that a combined company means higher prices. Each service currently charges $12.95 a month. But company executives said
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100 Acre Continued from Page 1
for these races are very different from NASCAR or other races you might be familiar with; drivers go on many different terrains including sand, gravel, mud, and snow while going around twists, turns, and hills that they have never encountered before. These races typically take multiple days and are done in stages. If you’re interested in watching the race, several safety precautions are suggested. You should never stand in the course, stand on the outside corner of a turn, block or tear down arrows or signs, stand in prohibited areas, or start bonfires. In addition, be prepared to expect the unexpected, listen for approaching cars, follow what the Marshalls say, and view from official viewing locations. There are four official viewing locations: Area A: Directions: Go down 72 towards Salem, go South on Hwy 19 for 4.5 miles, then take a left on Hwy B go 8.4 miles, then take a right on Country Rd 538 and go 1.7 miles to the spectator area. Cars will approximately begin arriving: Friday-2:50 pm and 5:00 pm, Saturday-10:35 am and 5:48 pm Area B: Directions: Take I44 East and get off at Cuba exit, take Hwy 19 South until it forks, then go left onto Hwy 49, continue on Hwy 49 until it dead-ends into Hwy 32, and take a left (go east) for 3.7 miles until you get to Forest Service Rd 2454, take a left onto that road and continue on that road for 2.7 miles to the spectator area. Cars will approximately begin arriving: Saturday-11:35 am and 4:50 pm Area C: Directions: Either take BB or I-44 to St. James, then get on Hwy 8 and continue for a very very long time (it will merge in 68 for a while, but stay on 8 once they split again) until you get to Potosi, MO, then make a right onto Hwy 185 and go .3 miles to the spectator area. Cars will approximately begin arriving: Saturday-2:10 pm Area D: Directions: From Hwy 8, make a left on Grassy Hollow Rd ( = Hwy AA, slightly before Potosi, after Hwy Y) and continue 4.1 miles to the spectator area. Cars will approximately begin arriving: Saturday-3:00 pm

Schedule of Events: Thursday, February 22, 2007 12:00 Noon – 9:00 PM Registration & Tech Inspection at the Salem Fire House, 2 South Main, Salem Friday, February 23, 2007 9:00 AM – Noon Registration at the Holiday Inn-Express, Salem. 12:15 PM Friday Starting Positions posted at Parc Exposé, Salem 12:30 PM Parc Exposé at Wal-Mart Parking Lot, Salem 1:00 PM Driver’s Meeting at Start Gate, Parc Exposé 1:15 PM Welcome Ceremony, National Anthem, Invocation 1:31 PM First Car Starts Day 1 3:30 PM Service break, Wal-Mart Parking Lot, Salem 7:00 PM First Car Finishes Day 1, Holiday Inn Express, Salem Saturday, February 24, 2007 8:15 AM Saturday Starting Positions posted at Parc Exposé, Salem 8:30 AM Parc Exposé in Salem (4th Street) 9:00 AM Drivers Meeting at Start Gate on 4th Street 9:15 AM Welcome Ceremony, National Anthem, Invocation 9:31 AM First Car Starts Day 2 11:45 AM Service break #1, Viburnum 3:35 PM Service break #2, Viburnum 7:10 PM First Car Finishes Rally, Dent County Court House, Salem 7:45 PM Podium Ceremony for top finishers in each class. 9:00 PM Awards Banquet, Eagles’ Lodge (Sponsored by St. Louis Region and Fat Tire Ale) 10:15 PM Awards Ceremony: National and Regional event winners and RRC Champions For more information, go to http://100aw.org/index.html Page 5

Explosions in the Sky – All of a Sudden, I Miss Everyone Cubicle Milford
Explosions in the Sky (EitS) is a fairly well known (at least in the post-rock genre) instrumental band that creates simple and emotional songs. One of their strengths is taking beautiful yet chaotic facets of life and translating them into music. Their latest release, judging by the album title (All of a Sudden, I Miss Everyone) and depressive Van Gogh-influenced cover art, focuses on loneliness and longing. The song titles seem to corroborate this, with allusions to a passing day, ghosts, fear, saying goodbye, and questions of what (or who) someone returns home to at the end of the day. EitS’s music typically involves melodic upper-register guitar picking, dramatically crashing cymbals, rolling snares, and crescendos galore. “The Birth and Death of the Day” starts off with soaring guitar strumming before regressing into the typical Explosions in the Sky fare with tidally-paced cymbal crashes and guitar picking. The highlight of the track is the crescendo around the 4 and 5 minute mark. It bursts through the music, sounding like the break of day and inducing goosebumps like an early morning chill. “Welcome, Ghosts” continues the trademark EitS sound with a catchy guitar line that is repeated throughout the song, yet the drumming is significantly more intense than the standard EitS track. “It’s Natural To Be Afraid” is a brooding, expansive, 13 minute epic that could be the soundtrack to walking through a foggy, deserted town until the sun starts shining through and you find what you were looking for. “What Do You Go Home To?” is a hauntingly stark piano ballad. The name of this album evokes feelContinued on Page 7

Top Ten Reasons to Sue UMR Milford Cubicle
With regard to recent litigation aimed at the University, I believe there are a great many things students are overlooking that are cause for completely legitimate and nonfrivolous lawsuits to make UMR a better place for everyone. With this genuine concern for the students in mind, I have compiled a list of utterly valid reasons to sue the pocketbooks off of UMR; after all, it’s better than actually doing something productive or useful! 10. You failed your last physics test (Dr. Bieniek had better watch out!). Student Council is at fault for not informing you that drinking a gallon of vodka the night before a test is bad. 9. You keep slipping and falling while walking to class in this cold, snowy weather. Chancellor Carney is at fault for not inducing warmer weather. Alternatively, maybe he actually DID make it warmer by proposing a name change of “cold weather” to “warm weather.” 8. Residential College 2 is being built too fast, which is obviously due to Vice Chancellor Robinson not slowing the construction work down. 7. There aren’t enough women on the campus. The SAFB Board is responsible for not proposing new funding for female imports. 6. You failed a class and have to take it over to achieve a better GPA and to be able to take higher-level classes. The university is at fault for not treating it as a “learning experience” and letting you just slide by. 5. UMR makes you live in dorms for two years, so the university is responsible for forcing your hand to sign a contract when you Page 6

come here. 4. No one hired you after the career fair. Student Affairs is liable for this, since they should be able to guarantee a job after graduation for you and your 1.9 GPA. 3. You’re forced to have a meal plan when you live in the dorms. Mark Potrafka is responsible for trying to make sure you don’t starve. 2. The UMR Police department keeps giving you parking tickets. The Board of Curators is at fault for not letting you have the freedom to park illegally and wherever you want. 1. Your funding was cut because you do a poor job. Student Council, the SAFB Board, Mark Potrafka, the Vice Chancellor, the Chancellor, Student Affairs, UMR, and the Board of Curators are all at fault. The most liable party, though, is the students, because they directly decided to cut your funding. Your job would be so much easier without them and their expectations.

Explosions Continued from Page 6
ings of loneliness and longing; this song pushes those feelings down your throat and makes you feel what music is supposed to be about. “Catastrophe and the Cure” is a more upbeat track, with a typical EitS song structure leading to a crescendo that you can see coming from a mile away. “So Long, Lonesome” closes the album with a wistful piano-based song that lets the album finish with a sigh rather than a bang. The problem with Explosions in the Sky is that they have perfected a musical formula and refuse to deviate too far from that path. Granted, in this album they add more piano, guitar melodies, and guitar effects into the mix, but the basic structure remains the same. If someone played a random song from EitS’s discography, most people likely wouldn’t know from which of EitS’s 5 albums it came from. There’s an unsettling homogeneity in all of their songs. This isn’t an incredibly bad thing, since EitS do make some of the most beautiful rock you will ever hear, but sometimes bands should deviate from a sound that they’ve been working with for years.

Daughtry Kant Sophia
It is with great apprehension that I venture into the arena of entertainment writing. I will freely admit that my tastes are generously classified as “mainstream”. I own albums by Fiona Apple and The Fray. I’ll admit that my mp3 player has a large portion of its memory devoted to Evanescence, the Killers, and Sugarcult. I can be coerced into admitting that not only is Fergie pretty catchy, but Rascal Flatts has a few good songs too. In my mind, music is a way for people to express themselves. Some do it better than others, but there’s really no such thing as “bad” music, just as there are really no “bad” emotions. There’s shallow music, there’s unoriginal music, and there’s mainstream music, but liking these does not make your musical appetites any less valid than those whose favorite band has less than a hundred fans. So, in the interest of musical diversity, the following is my very humble opinion of Daughtry, the first offering from American Idol finalist turned frontman Chris Daughtry and his band, the aptly named Daughtry. Rumor has it that Chris Daughtry turned down an offer to be the lead singer for Fuel in order to form his own band; the first single “It’s Not Over” displays why Fuel was interested. This song isn’t unique in the music industry (in fact, it sounds similar to at least two songs recently on the charts); however, this is a respectable move for a band coming onto the charts with negative credibility. My pick for best song on the album is “Over You.” “Over You” Page 7

displays the best that Daughtry has to offer—an addictive chorus, polished instrumentation, and (of course) rough vocals. “Feels Like Tonight” is the ballad contribution that seems necessary for any band that wants to fit into the rock genre. In my opinion, Daughtry would have fared better leaving this three note wonder off of the CD. Other highlights of the album include “Gone” (with one of the better guitar solos), “There and Back Again” (for those of us who love bass), and “Sorry” (which is one of Chris Daughtry’s strongest vocal contributions). All in all, my biggest criticism of Daughtry is a marked resemblance to Nickleback and an apparent lack of collaboration from the rest of the band members. (And if the worst thing that I can say is that they sound like a multi-platinum rock group, then they’re in good shape.) Daughtry will never be considered groundbreaking, but I picked up the CD expecting the Greatest Hits of American Idol, and walked away thinking “Simon who?”

Rating: 7.5/10
Check Out: “The Birth & Death of the Day” “It’s Natural to Be Afraid,” “What Do You Go Home To?”

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Free to be Themselves
For anybody that keeps his or her ears to the ground in the sports world, I’m sure that you heard of the 9.5 earthquake that hit last week when retired NBA player John Amaechi became the first NBA player to come out of the closet. Just so no one loses themself in this story before it starts, I am referring to Amaechi’s public announcement stating that he is openly homosexual, making him the first in NBA history to reveal such personal details. In the real world, people come out of the closet all the time, but as anybody that is a sports addict knows, coming out of the closet in the world of sports is a huge deal. He is the first player, to my knowledge, to make this statement and especially the first to make such an impact in the world of sports. Not because he is the first to come out, but because he is the first to have such a media frenzy to follow his statement. The world learned of Amaechi’s big announcement when the latest version of ESPN the magazine came out last week in an article entitled “Free To Be Himself”. The article talks about Amaechi’s new book, Man in the Middle, which will be available in stores on Friday. It talks about his career in basketball and its lows and highs. Its big topic is Amaechi’s challenge of keeping his sexual preference a secret. Amaechi played center for five seasons for Utah, Orlando, and Cleveland. Throughout his career, Amaechi averaged 6.2 points and 2.6 rebounds per game. As any basketball enthusiast would know, this is not enough to make a blip on any radar, and

therefore Amaechi will go down in history under this current story. The aforementioned media frenzy swiftly started after the release of ESPN’s story, and escalated rapidly after a radio interview with retired NBA all-star Tim Hardaway. After being asked how he would deal with a gay teammate, Hardaway quickly responded with “First of all, I would not want him on my team.” Later in the interview Hardaway stated that “[he] hate[s] gay people” in response to Dan Lebatard’s injunction that what he was saying sounded flatly homophobic. Hardaway afterwards apologized for his comments saying that he regretted any comments that he had made. This example has clearly showcased the bigotry that still exists in the wide world of sports today. While Hardaway’s comments are by far the most rash, on the other side of the spectrum the debate over the story’s significance has stayed mostly politically correct. Make no debate about it; this story has much significance when it comes to the world of sports. Amaechi’s book, while it covers his NBA career of only five seasons, talks in great detail about life as a homosexual in the NBA. It specifically describes the hardships of living a double life in a testosterone-ridden world; how hard it is to brush off ignorant comments on a daily basis for so long. In one story about the book, Amaechi’s friend, who is also a professional sports writer and has known Amaechi since he was actively playing, says that the life he lived in as part of the NBA was one Page 8

of great torment. He also goes on to say that the greatest day in Amaechi’s career was the day that he learned it was all over. Even though NBA legends like Charles Barkley say that they don’t care about Amaechi’s sexual preference, its effect in the overall significance in the world of sports is one of great magnitude. It brings us to a crossroad; in all of the four major leagues a retired player has come out and openly announced his homosexuality. It opens the door for the next possible scenario, in which an active player would feel comfortable enough to come out while still playing in one of these major leagues. In this frame of mind, the significance of this story will not be the timetable that it happens in; one day, it will happen. The importance will be who the player is, where he stands in his career, and the overall effect and fallout of his or her situation. The scenario could easily be affected by the player’s overall career before coming out on whether or not he is a perennial all-star and veteran, or in Amaechi’s case, a journeyman player that spent his days in the NBA wondering where he would play his next game. Amaechi’s book opens up a frame of reference to the sports world that has never been seen before. He presents us with an inside view of being a homosexual in a world that not only looks down at it, but also acts like it doesn’t even exist. It makes one wonder, if Amaechi went through this on a daily basis, how many other athletes do the same thing and how many more days will it be before they no longer have to be afraid of who they are?

The Greatest Race in 50 Years Maurice
In the United States, the fastest it being the Daytona 500 with so growing sport since baseball’s home- much on the line. Harvick’s momenrun era in the late 90’s, NASCAR, tum coming around the last turn was kicked off another great season of that of greatness and power, so much racing with its annual Daytona 500. so that when the other drivers were Any NASCAR fan will know that worried about each other through the Daytona 500 is very important their maneuvers, Harvick seemed because it is the first race of the year to zoom by them with grace. Then, and because it helps getting in the in the last stretch, it was Martin right psychological mindset of being and Harvick who had the only shot able to comat winning. pete for the Coming out rest of the of that final season. In turn, the field what some behind the have denumber one scribed to be and two cars the greatest seemed to Daytona 500 engulf itself in the past in a crash 50 years, like none many of the other. So Picture from Mark J. Rebilas-US PRESSWIRE much so that top ranked racers that looked to finish number it was questioned on whether the one wrecked before they even had race should be stopped in the final a chance. Drivers such as Tony stretch. NASCAR officials quickly Stewart and Jimmy Johnson crashed determined that due to the fact that before they even had a chance to go the accident was behind the number through the finish line. Which brings one and two cars it had no legitimate us to the question: How great could effect on the race, giving Harvick the race have been if all of the no- the overall win. table drivers were out? Coming in second was Mark Anyone that has watched the Martin, who has never won the race video of either the final 40 laps or and with the win of the Daytona 500 the final turn can truly see how great would have been the oldest driver of a race it was. Kevin Harvick, who to ever win. Harvick, who also has won the race, won it by only .02 sec- never won a Daytona 500 until now, onds over Mark Martin. Martin, who was quoted as saying he “hated to be was in the lead until the last turn of the bad guy”, but it seems like it just the race, was beaten out by Harvick, wasn’t Martin’s day. who came into the last turn in 5th Over the past couple of years, or 6th place. Anyone knows that in NASCAR has gone from a mainly any race it is hard to pass five or six Southern pastime, whose history can people on the last turn, let alone with be traced back to the days of moon Page 9 shiners in the Carolinas, to being one of the predominant sports in our country; their future is so bright that one day they may become the nation’s past-time as much as baseball is today. This was proven this Sunday in the Daytona 500 where the sport showed that it can put on some of the greatest entertainment our eyes have ever seen. Any race in which a car goes over the finish line upside down and on fire not only has to be a great race, but great entertainment.

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the water. And damned if I didn’t get airborne. I guess what I’m trying to say is this: I could stand up and walk away from all of this right now with the confidence that I can handle any job a company could throw at me. I couldn’t have found that confidence back home. Although I could find peanut butter… If any current UMR students are interested in a similar opportunity, they can contact Mr. Harold Tubbs in the International Affairs Office.

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Holiday Season is Here! d’Artagnan Nathaniel
If you had to name a holiday from February, what do you think would first come to mind? Valentine’s Day? Black History Month? While both of these would be fine answers, the first one that comes to mind for me is President’s Day. While it may be the lesser known of the February holidays, it stands to remind us of the service and dedication of the past presidents of the United States of America. In honor of this holiday I was going to write a brief piece on the greatest presidents of American History. However, upon thinking about that, I decided that this would be much more interesting if I instead wrote about the worst presidents to ever take office. Let us begin with the great Calvin “Silent Cal” Coolidge. The first issue comes with the issue of his nickname itself. As a president one would usually not expect to be nicknamed with the adjective “silent.” While this originally referenced his personal preference to not talk, it turned into his legislative policy as well. Coolidge proposed slight tax reductions during his presidency, but aside from that, proposed little to no legislation. Perhaps he believed in the laissez faire approach to government, or perhaps he simply found the troubles of the late twenties easier to ignore than to deal with. Another absolutely horrible president came in the form of Ulysses S. Grant. Grant came into office with a very important political distinction: he had, as he said, never had any “previous political training.” While you might think that this was enough to doom Grant to a failed presidency, you would be wrong. In addition to his utter lack of political experience, Grant also had one of the most limited views of the presidency to date. Grant felt that the role of the president was, very simply, that of an administrator. With that in mind, Congress took as much power from the presidency as they could. Combine this with the fact that his presidential terms were plagued with scandals and you can easily see how Grant is able to be remembered as one of the truly great failures. No list of presidential failures can be complete without mentioning the, arguably, worst president in the history of the United States: Warren Gamaliel Harding. The most famous part of the Harding presidency was the scandals that were produced. Most infamous was the Teapot Dome affair where United States Secretary of the Interior Albert B. Fall was convicted of accepting bribes with respect to the oil industry. In fact, after Harding’s death in office, three of his top officials were later arrested for scandals emanating from his presidency. The “Ohio Gang” that Harding appointed were poorly managed and given just enough power to undermine pretty much everything that President Harding was ever able to attempt. Even a good president can be ruined by scandals (i.e. Richard Nixon), much more a horrible one. While I do know that President’s Day is designed to immortalize the great presidents of yesteryear, I hope that this article has provided balanced media coverage when it comes to our past presidents. We always hear about Lincoln, WashPage 10 ington, and the Roosevelts; it is time to hear about those less famous presidents. Just because they were terrible at their jobs does not mean that they do not deserve recognition for the fact that they were once the leaders of the free world.

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Dr. Story

Up In Baghdad” (slide guitar), while newcomers can take in the profusion of new tunes--likely distinct from that to which they are accustomed-and enjoy a few stories too. Dr. Story plays his original pieces and sings to accompany his dancing fingers in a way that even Philistines will have to savor. When asked what was most appealing about performing live, Story replied, “I very much enjoy the nervousness of going on stage.” With a smile, he added, “At any moment, you could make a mechanical mistake...or you could just forget.” After 32 years of playing the guitar, he still enjoys sharing his passion for music--a matter his audience appreciates. This Saturday, Dr. Story hopes to see many new faces at his performance, which is open to the public and free to everyone!

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natural market forces would limit the possibility of rising prices. “We are competing with companies that give away their product for free,” said Mr. Karmazin, alluding to conventional over-the-air radio. Consumers will still be able to use their existing satellite radios for the foreseeable future, but to take advantage of a combined service, they probably would need to upgrade to a newer radio. Currently, Sirius and XM run on separate, incompatible systems, although a team of engineers from both companies has been working on a radio that could pull in both signals. It remains to be seen whether the FCC shares that view. A larger problem for the companies, however, is the opposition from broadcasters. Two years ago, for example, the National Association of Broadcasters lobbied hard against XM’s effort to acquire WCS Wireless LLC for $195 million. The deal would have given XM additional radio frequencies and allowed it to expand its service. Broadcasters, however, complained that XM would use the acquisi-

tion to provide local programming, which isn’t allowed under its current license. Ultimately, the deal fell through in May 2006 after languishing without action at the FCC for almost a year. The FCC’s five commissioners will need to be convinced that there’s enough competition in the market to support a merger. One issue the agency will likely consider, FCC officials say, is satellite radio’s popularity with consumers and the long-term prospects of the two companies being able to provide services independently of one another if the merger were scuttled. With the FCC currently immersed in what’s likely to be a protracted fight over changes to media-ownership limits, it may not be an auspicious time to propose a deal to consolidate the satelliteradio industry. However, the FCC under Mr. Martin, a Republican, has generally looked favorably on most merger proposals that have come before it. Consequently, while the deal faces significantly more uncertainty of FCC approval than several other major deals in recent years, such as AT&T Inc.’s $86 billion acquisition

of BellSouth Corp., it could pass regulatory review. The market was already responding to the possibility of a deal on Friday, after analyst reports and investor speculation pushed XM stock up by nearly 8%. In agreeing to a premium for XM, Sirius is getting a larger ownership stake than if it had simply contributed its business into a new company. Sirius has performed better in recent quarters at retail, winning large numbers of customers who walk into a store to buy a satellite radio to add to their car. But XM has positioned itself better for the future, signing up more deals with auto makers such as General Motors Corp., so cars roll off factory lines with satellite radios pre-installed. But expensive programming one-upping has weighed on the stock prices at both companies. For example, in 2004, Sirius said it would pay $500 million over five years, not including performance-based bonuses, to broadcast a morning show from Mr. Stern, the radio personality. Two weeks later, XM said it would pay $650 million over 11 years to broadcast Major League Baseball.

The Credits...
Nathaniel d’Artagnan Sybil Sophia Kant Miles Netockney Maurice Arrian Syrus Horace Horsecollar Drake Drache Briony Thorne Milford Cubicle Walter McQuillin Luke Merchant Lauren Rich Editor-in-Chief Layout Editor Staff Writer Staff Writer / Secretary Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer / Editor Staff Writer Staff Writer Guest Writer NathanieldArtagnan@gmail.com TheNewMineshaft@gmail.com sophiakant@gmail.com milesnetockny@gmail.com Mauricesports@gmail.com arrian.syrus@gmail.com horatius.horsecollar@gmail.com drakedrache@gmail.com briony.thorne@gmail.com sir.cubicle@gmail.com Walter.McQuillin@gmail.com TheNewMineshaft@gmail.com lergx6@umr.edu

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Paste PHD Comic here. www.phdcomics.com

Math Square
+ 3 12 + x + x

Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction.

-8 x 6 + 0 18
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Last Week’s Solution
8 + 1 x 4 12 x 9 + 6 7 8 + / / 3 x 2 5 1 2 -2 24