If you’re feeling generous, send us some money: The Mineshaft; P.O.

Box 1575; Rolla, MO 65402-1575

The MineShaft
Where the real news is buried March 14, 2007 Vol. 1 Issue 11

In This Issue
1 2 4 5 6 8 9 MOHELA St. Pat’s Alt Blurbs Bush Funding Approval Divorces Gone Too Far Trapt In Mediocrity Bracketology Irish Festival Top 10 (St. Pat’s Edition)

MOHELA: Free Money or Risk to Students?
For those of you connected to state politics in Missouri, one of the most important issues this session is the Lewis Clark Discovery Initiative (read: MOHELA sale). Whenever this issue comes up it seems that you are guaranteed to get a very one sided opinion of the issue. If you ask a representative from UMR’s administration, you are almost certainly going to get an opinion that supports the sale and cites the need of the sale to fund Toomey Hall. While this may be accurate, it is obvious to see that this is simply one side of the issue; otherwise the sale would have already happened. So what is this issue really all about? Let’s begin by discussing the basics of the plan itself. This portion of the question is very easy to answer. The idea behind the plan is to sell off a portion of MOHELA’s assets that have been accumulated throughout the years. Specifically through the sale of these assets, we

Nathaniel d’Artagnan

A Note from Sybil
We are pleased to announce that we have been able to procure a P.O. Box here in Rolla. For the past few weeks, we have been getting numerous requests to donate money anonymously, and as such we have put into place a system where that can now be done. Please send to: The Mineshaft P.O. Box 1575 Rolla, MO 65402-1575. In addition to this, we have spent the last week attending meetings with campus figures. We are actively looking for ways to become more integrated with the campus along with finding ways to print once we no longer have independent financing. That being said we are also currently looking into the process of becoming a Recognized Student Organization and determining whether it would be beneficial for our organization. Please feel free to send in comments, suggestions, or contibutions. Have a great Saint Pat’s and we hope you enjoy this week’s issue.

would be creating a joint privatepublic collaboration and generate between 375 and 425 million dollars (Goldman Sachs estimate). This means that the sale could generate a great deal of money to fund projects throughout the state of Missouri. The specific breakdown has been suggested at 300 million dollars for capital improvements, 100 million dollars for new student scholarship programs, 5 million dollars to create the Missouri Discovery Alliance, and 20 million dollars to be used towards matching funds for endowed professorships. Due to these effects it is very easy to see the side that supports such a sale. At UMR we would benefit from additional funding for Toomey Hall (15 million dollars as of March 9th). Other schools across the state would likewise have money for projects that otherwise would be very difficult to fund.
Continued on Page 3

St. Pat’s Alt
For those of you who do not wish to take part in alcoholic activities, wish to take a break from drinking, or don’t feel like partying at 11:00 am, there are still lots of things for you to do. The University has lots of scheduled events that will be lots of fun and are pretty entertaining Page 1

Miles Netockny

without the influence of alcohol. These are called St. Pat’s Alternative Programs, and listed below is the schedule of these events (thanks to St. Pat’s Alternative Programming committee and Jennifer Bower).
Continued on Page 3

Miles Netockny

Rioting and Arrests in Zimbabwe In Zimbabwe, a political riot was held on Sunday. Police used tear gas and water cannons to control the crowd. At least one person in the crowd was killed, and three police officers were injured and have been taken to the hospital. Simultaneously, six elders including Mr. Tsvangirai held a meeting for the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC). This meeting violates a country-wide ban on political meetings, instigated one month ago by President Mugabe and lasting until two months from now. Tsvangirai is a political activist who was charged with treason in 2003 after losing the election to Mugabe, the president since 1980. All six were arrested, and Tsvangirai was reported to be in bad shape, a result from possible torture while in police custody. Iranian President to Attend UN Security Council Meeting Iranian president Mr. Ahmadinejad plans to attend a UN Security Council meeting to defend the rights of the Iranian nation to have nuclear energy, a peaceful use of uranium. Ahmadinejad has addressed the UN General Assembly twice, but this will be his first time to address the Security Council, which Iran has been defying for over a year by continuing uranium enrichment. Iranian Women Warned Not to Rally for International Women’s Day Iranian women attempted to hold a rally outside parliament in

support of International Women’s Day. However, police stopped the protest and arrested women who Arrian Syrus were protesting. Then, a warning was sent throughout the country that President Bush asked Congress other women should not attempt to on Saturday for $3.2 billion to pay protest. for 8,200 additional U.S. troops needed in Afghanistan and Iraq on Thousands Protest in China top of the 21,500-troop buildup he Approximately 20,000 people announced for Iraq in January. in Hunan, China protested because As part of the spending request, of rising public transport costs and Mr. Bush wants Congress to fund supposed government corruption. 3,500 new U.S. troops to expand Several protestors and police were training of local police and army injured when the group came in units in Afghanistan. The money conflict with 1,000 police armed also would pay for the estimated with guns and electronic cattle prods. 3,500 existing U.S. troops he already At least 4 police cars were burned announced would be staying longer during the conflict. In reaction, the in the region to counter an anticipated Chinese government plans to allocate Taliban offensive in Afghanistan this billions of dollars into rural economy spring. and try to take care of government In Iraq, most of the additional corruption. troops would help with the latest Baghdad security plan, which is Nepal Changes from Unitary getting under way in the capital. The State to Federal State money would pay for 2,400 combat Nepal changed from a unitary support troops, 2,200 military state into a federal state by an police forces and 129 troops for overwhelming 278 votes to five reconstruction teams. in their parliament. The change The budget revisions come as began as a response to protesters many lawmakers opposed to the in southern Nepal who claim to be buildup in Iraq are debating funding underrepresented and discriminated for the war. But in a letter to House against. The change will increase the Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Mr. Bush number of representatives from the proposed canceling $3.2 billion in southern region, with approximately low-priority defense items to offset half the country’s population, to have the extra money needed to support half the parliamentary seats. the additional troops. Cutting the programs, he said, U.S. and Brazil in Cooperation would eliminate the need to increase for Alternative Energy Sources the overall $93.4 billion in additional Saturday, U.S. and Brazil signed defense money he’s already requested an agreement to develop alternative to finance this year’s war operations energy sources together. The two in Iraq and Afghanistan. “This revised countries combined produce 70% request would better align resources
Continued on Page 3 Continued on Page 8

Bush Funding Approval

Page 2

Continued from Page 1


These additional capital projects are an obvious need for campuses throughout the state and no one would argue that improved facilities would not benefit the universities here in Missouri. Additionally, the plan also allows for a 100 million dollar increase in scholarship money. I know I wouldn’t mind seeing some extra scholarship money. This explains why it is so easy to support the plan and why the UM - Board of Curators unanimously supports the Governor’s plan of action. There are, however, some concerns that do need to be addressed. The first has been raised by the Missouri Right to Life Group. The organization has come out in staunch opposition to the plan citing that certain facilities (including Harris-Stowe’s Cortex Accelerator Facility and MU’s health sciences research center) could be used to support stem cell research. This fear was lessened last month when UM President Floyd announced that the UM facilities would not allow for medical research to take place.

Some opponents still feel that this guarantee is not enough, but at least it is a concession in the direction of avoiding stem cell research. The second issue that has arisen is an email from an analyst from the firm Liscarnan Solutions LLC. This email stated that the analyst did not believe that the original report on the MOHELA situation is necessarily valid. The email also mentioned that the firm is now questioning whether or not the future projections of MOHELA are accurate and doubts that they will be able to truly answer that question until March or April. The Democratic opposition within the Senate has claimed that this statement simply confirms their original claims that the deal was “a risky scheme.” In the end I would encourage readers to take the time to look at both sides of this issue and hopefully be able to decide what you feel is the right choice. If you have any additional questions on this issue feel free to contact me and I can supply you with a variety of resources to research the issue in more detail.

Continued from Page 1

St. Pat’s Alt

Wednesday, March 14th 10:00 Comedian, Rob Paravonian @Havener 11:30 pm – 6:00 am Dodgeball @ Miner Rec Thursday, March 15th 11:00 am Gonzo Games @ Frat Row 7:00 pm Dating Game & Movies @ Res College 11:00 pm Late Night Breakfast @ TJ Friday, March 16th 11:00 am Gonzo Games @ Frat Row 9:00 pm Coronation @Leach Theater 9:00 pm ABS Step Show @Multipurpose 11:00 pm Poker Tournament @TJ Cafeteria and Rayl Cafeteria 12:00 am Late Night Breakfast @Res College Saturday, March 17th 11:00 am Parade @Pine Street, Rolla MO 8:00 pm Old Skool Game Night @TJ S Lounge and Mac Lounge 11:00 pm Late Night Breakfast @Holtman Lounge, Quad 6:00 pm St Pats Concert @ Multipurpose

Continued from Page 2


of the world’s ethanol. There are concerns, as seen by protests, that the rainforest could be harmed in the process. Bush will continue his fivenation tour with Uruguay, Colombia, Guatemala, and Mexico. The result of developing alternative energy sources in cooperation with other countries leads to more jobs as well as a cleaner environment and less dependence on oil.

Suicide Bomber Wounds Three in Moroccan Cafe Monday morning, a suicide bomber wounded three people when explosives were detonated in an internet cafe in Casablanca, Morocco. The explosion happened after the bomber was denied access to propaganda internet activity by the owner of the café. The man with the bomber fled the scene during the explosion, but was soon arrested by police. Page 3

thecountdown thecountdownthecountdownthecountdo

Divorces Gone Too Far?
2124 days until the End of the world (Mayan Calendar) 114 days until the Tour de France 78 Days until The World Series of Poker Begins 65 days until The Science Olympiad 36 days until Nigerian elections 31 days until Saint Louis Marathon 19 days until the Royals’ opening day 18 days until the Cardinals’ opening day 10 days until Spring Break 7 days until our next issue 1 day until the Best Ever A common topic in the political realm is the degradation of family values. This always seems to become an issue when campaigns get moving, especially when attempting to sway the religious right. Thus, the issue of divorce is something that comes up a good deal during political discussions, and thanks to a recent story from Germany I feel particularly inspired to talk about the current divorce situation here in the United States. The background on this subject is pretty simple. Back in the early 20th century divorce was not a common part of our society. In fact, the social stigma was often cited as reasons that people from that era did not get a divorce and so couples stayed together. This contrasts sharply with the statistics that are provided in the 21st century. According to the National Center for Health Statistics in 2005, there were 7.5 new marriages per 1,000 people and 3.6 divorces per 1,000 people. Assuming these numbers to be statistically viable (which has been questioned by some statisticians), the divorce rate would be approximately 48%. This lends us to the common connection that about half of all marriages end in divorce, an idiom that has been in use since the seventies. The “moral right” will tell you that divorce is wrong, and they can cite biblical passages that will back them up. Personally, I do not think that the Bible should be used to dictate the general masses’ behavior and so I will not really focus on that

Drake Drache


Subscribe or Contribute

argument. Instead, allow me to bring up some of the issues that arise with couples staying together when they would rather get a divorce. It has often been speculated that children of unhappy couples would benefit from the family separating. This point was always hotly debated and so a British-based group conducted a large research endeavor and found the following data: 60% of children say it is better for parents that argue to split up; 80% of children of divorced parents say their home life is the same or better after divorce; and only 28% of children of divorced parents want them to get back together. This information brings us back to the issue that inspired this article. I was reading through Reuters the other day (a great source of internet-based news) and found a story about a German couple that is going through a divorce. The gist of this story is that the couple was going through a brutal divorce and the husband decided to take what he felt was his. Therefore he took his chainsaw, sawed his house in two, and took half of it with him with the help of a forklift. This story shows the lengths that people go to when a marriage goes wrong. These bits of information make the whole concept and thought of marriage come under a fire that has been more apparent in the last few decades. Add to that the fire surrounding the gay marriage issue and I would predict that this issue continues to become more and more prevalent in the years to come.

Page 4

Trapt In Mediocrity
This weekend, Trapt and Shinedown will be playing a St. Pat’s concert in Rolla that has been nearly sold out, with some tickets being sold for higher than the official price. Many people see this as a good move, since two big, popular bands are coming to Rolla. As such, I’ll be reviewing both bands’ latest albums to give my opinion of just how good of a thing it is that they’re coming to Rolla. Trapt – Someone In Control coming out of your ears, you may enjoy Trapt; if you want to hurt Milford Cubicle yourself that badly, however, a much parallels to modern rock bands like 3 cheaper alternative would be to buy Doors Down, Hoobastank, and every razor blades and stick them into your other cookie-cutter mainstream rock eyes. band out there. It’s like Trapt took a Rating: 3/10 template and filled it in without any thought of creating an emotional Check Out: “Disconnected,” impact. Honestly, if lines like “too out of touch to touch you,” “use me to “Bleed Like Me” use you,” and “you’ve gone as far as I’ll go” create an emotional response Shinedown – Us and Them in you, then I’d suggest that you go back to listening to Linkin Park; at least LP has some diversity in their music. I cannot reiterate this enough: everything about Trapt sounds like it comes directly from a blueprint, whether it’s the vocals, lyrics, or music itself. It feels like I was listening to these guys on the popular rock radio station in middle school when I was discovering rock music. There are some good things about this album. Some of the songs are catchy. Chris Brown sounds like he’s not whining more often. This While you could argue that album is better than Trapt’s first Shinedown fits within the post-grunge album (which says a lot about that genre with Trapt, there’s a distinct one). difference: they do everything right However, that’s as far as the good within the genre that Trapt does things go, and the bad far outweigh wrong. While even that may not be any good that Trapt can dredge up. saying much, it at least makes for For one, I can’t tell which song is an album that’s listen-able and often which. They’re all basically the same (gasp!) enjoyable. Granted, you’re formulaic verse-chorus headbangers. never going to reach “masterpiece” The lyrics are incredibly juvenile or “classic” status with it, but it’s the and have “vague lowest common musical equivalent of lewd humor: it denominator syndrome,” where may not be the most refined, but it they’re constructed to appeal to gets the job done. as many people as possible at the Let’s start with the good of this expensive of an actual emotional album. First, while it’s certainly not impact. mind-blowing, the guitar-work is by Here’s my advice: stay away no means boring and can be fairly from this band. If you enjoy diarrhea Continued on Page 7 Page 5

One of Trapt’s genre descriptions is “post-grunge.” Grunge is bad enough, but POST-grunge? Is this grunge that has been allowed to stagnate, become even more formulaic, and allow “musicians” to rest on their laurels with their simplified garbage? If so, Trapt is the epitome of the genre. Someone In Control was released in mid-2005. Let’s get this out of the way before we get too far: 3 Doors Down made this CD 5 years prior to this release. In fact, the more I listen to this album, the more I keep finding

So here is the big shock of the week that everyone knew would be coming: it’s March and college basketball has released the tournament bracket. This once-ayear phenomenon is immeasurable compared to any pro sports, and allows for the average Joe to get fully wrapped around it with his or her own bracket. Now we could focus on who didn’t get in that deserved it or viceversa, but instead we’ll just mention it and move on because what’s done is done. Teams like Arkansas and Xavier have been railed on in the media for being teams that don’t deserve to be in the tournament, whether it’s because they didn’t have a strong enough schedule or because they didn’t win in the big game. On the other side, there are

teams like Florida State and Air Force who had phenomenal years and beat great teams but just didn’t have the numbers or support to pull past the other teams on the oh-sogreat tournament bubble. Instead of focusing on the teams that didn’t make it or the teams that barely made it into the tournament and probably won’t make it that far, we should worry about the teams
Continued on Page 8

Page 6

Mediocrity Continued from Page 5
interesting. There are even some tasteful solos, but don’t expect any Malmsteen-esque work here. As far as interesting riffs and guitar lines go, Jasin Todd puts forth a solid effort. Vocalist Brent Smith alternately channels Chris Cornell and 3 Doors Down’s Brad Arnold. The former, fortunately, takes precedence, but when Smith regresses to Arnold’s generic whining the vocals suffer. Also fortunately, Smith does a very impressive job imitating Cornell. In this respect, the vocals overall on the album are very well done. The rest of the band is solid, but is relegated to the back of the mix as is typical in mainstream rock and post-grunge bands. Another strength of the album as a whole is the inclusion of some slower songs such as “I Dare You” and “Beyond the Sun.” This serves to break up the monotony that is inherent in a band such as Shinedown, despite their efforts. The 7 minute “Lady So Divine” stands out like a penguin in the desert of this album; the last half of the song is an extended instrumental section that is typically not expected from a mainstream band. Maybe the initials of the song (LSD) inspired it. In any case, the song sounds like it had some influence from Queens of the Stone Age. One of the stronger songs is “Heroes,” which starts with a cool bass roll and transitions into a hard rocker. Predictably, the most yawn-inducing song is the radio single that the album spawned, “Save Me.” This album is an honest effort from a band that genuinely seems to love just rocking and playing for their fans. However, nothing about the album could be considered profound, from the musicianship to the lyrics to the vocals. Additionally, despite Shinedown’s tweaks to their take on the genre, their music still feels too formulaic and generic. I sense potential here; I just don’t see it being executed yet. Rating: 6/10 Check Out: “Heroes,” “Lady So Divine,” “Atmosphere” I’d like to commend SUB and the St. Pat’s Board for getting these bands to come to Rolla. Despite my conceptions of their talent, they are both very popular, and getting the entire campus so excited about a concert is a true feat that speaks to their dedication to make the 99th St. Pat’s weekend truly great. However, with that said, I hope that everyone attending the concert on Saturday is going for Shinedown’s reputable live show and not for Trapt, as I’d rather stick rusty nails into my throat than listen to their sonic garbage again. I realize that numerous fortuitous circumstances are what allowed these particular bands to come to Rolla, but I think next time we should aim higher. System of a Down is comparable in popularity, and they also have an insane live show, artistic vision, and talent. If they come for a concert in one of the following years, I’m taking credit!

The Credits...
Nathaniel d’Artagnan Milford Cubicle (Ben Williams) Sybil (Michael Orlando) Sophia Kant Miles Netockney Maurice Arrian Syrus Horace Horsecollar Drake Drache Briony Thorne Luke Merchant Scott Frazier Editor-in-Chief Editor-in-Chief Layout Editor Staff Writer Staff Writer / Secretary Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Guest Graphic Designer NathanieldArtagnan@gmail.com sir.cubicle@gmail.com TheNewMineshaft@gmail.com sophiakant@gmail.com milesnetockny@gmail.com Mauricesports@gmail.com arrian.syrus@gmail.com horatius.horsecollar@gmail.com drakedrache@gmail.com briony.thorne@gmail.com TheNewMineshaft@gmail.com

Page 7

Continued from Page 6


Continued from Page 2


Irish Festival

Briony Thorne

that will actually make a big push in the tournament. The tournament has some of the notables that always seem to still be playing ball this time of year. Duke, North Carolina, Kansas, and UCLA always seem to make a big push in the tournament; they won’t worry about losing any of the games until the 3rd or 4th round because in the first and second round they blow their opponents out by 40 points or more. The next teams are ones that we should watch for this year, because they are just that good. These are Ohio State, Florida, Memphis, Wisconsin, and Georgetown. These teams have been big contenders in the tournament in the past and are just as likely to win it all as the historical heavyweights. With an early look at the brackets one can see Ohio State coming out of the Midwest bracket, either Kansas, Duke, or Florida out of the South bracket, and UCLA, UNLV, and Wisconsin are the biggest contenders in the West bracket. Finally in the Eastern bracket it is easy to see multiple contenders coming out (specifically North Carolina, Georgetown, Texas A&M, or Nevada) as that bracket seems to be the most balanced of them all. On a last note, don’t forget to fill out your bracket and whom you think will win, remembering that your opinion is the only one that counts and you alone are the only one to blame when you lose. Also, don’t forget to watch the exciting games coming up, as no matter who is playing they always seem to be eventful as well as entertaining.

based on the assessment of military commanders to achieve the goal of establishing Iraq and Afghanistan as democratic and secure nations that are free of terrorism,” Mr. Bush wrote in his letter to lawmakers. Mr. Bush signed the letter on his flight Friday from Brazil to Uruguay, part of his five-nation tour of Latin America, that continues on Sunday in Colombia. The White House released the letter Saturday in Montevideo, Uruguay. At a news conference Thursday, Gen. David Petraeus, who arrived in Baghdad in February as the top U.S. commander, hinted of the need to bolster the U.S. troop force. Gordon Johndroe, a spokesman for the National Security Council, said the money would cover funding for 2,000 more combat support troops and 2,000 to 2,400 military police forces. “Gen. Petraeus expects under the Baghdad security plan as well as other parts of Iraq, that the number of people going into detention will increase and so these military police forces will be for that,” Mr. Johndroe said.

Subscribe or Contribute
TheNewMineshaft@gmail.com The Mineshaft P.O. Box 1575 Rolla, MO 65402-1575

The English department has brought a great cultural experience to UMR. In correlation with the Irish Poetry Seminar class offered this semester, poetry readings, Irish music, and discussions are being held throughout the semester. On Wednesday, March 7, 2007 Irish poet Ciaran Carson was at UMR to kick off the Irish Festival with an Irish Poetry Reading. Carson was born in Belfast into an Irish speaking family and was taught English at the age of five. He is currently a distinguished professor of English in Belfast at Queen’s University and continues to write poetry. Carson is also a musician. During his hour-long poetry reading, Carson entertained the full room of people with not only different poems, but also stories and music from the Irish culture. Carson plays the Irish flute and puts his poetry to song. After the poetry reading Carson took questions and spent time talking to people on a more personal level. To continue the festival, Irish poets Conor O’Callaghan and Vona Groarke will be visiting Rolla on Wednesday, March 21st for a poetry reading at 7:30 pm in the Ozark room. The Festival will continue after spring break with a discussion hosted by guest Professor Dillon Johnson on Eiléan Ní Chuilleanáin on Thursday, April 5th at 7:30 pm and Eiléan Ní Chuilleanáin will be visiting Rolla on Friday, April 6th at 7:30 pm for a poetry reading. Both events will be held in the Meramec/ Gasconade room.

Page 8

Top 10 Things To Do Over St. Pat’s
Many people complain about how there is never anything to do in Rolla. Obviously this is not the case during St. Pat’s weekend, but it can still sometimes be difficult to figure out exactly what to do. Luckily, I’m here to give you some reasonable suggestions for things you should aim for over the next few days. The Mineshaft and its staff take no responsibility for property damage or bodily harm that results from following these suggestions. 10. Don’t die. My own personal research indicates that alcohol is poisonous to the liver, ovaries, lymph nodes, and appendix, so moderation should be exercised when imbibing. I know you might say “I looked it up, alcohol has absolutely no effect on ovaries, lymph nodes, or appendixes; in fact, appendixes have no function at all!” Your problem, though, is that you looked it up in a book. I looked it up in my gut, and that’s how my gut tells me alcohol effects your body. 9. Get arrested for indecent exposure. Technically you could “streak through the Quad,” but it’d be so much easier to urinate right outside of the Grotto in the middle of the street. 8. Saran wrap your passed out friend’s car. Alternative, and similarly hilarious, plans include Post-It noting your friend’s car, moving it to another parking lot, or throwing Molotov cocktails at it! 7. To protect your house from over-indulgent party-goers, you may Page 9 need to vomit-proof your house. All of those unused copies of The Missouri Miner from campus should come in handy; just spread them out over your house, much like you would for training a puppy!
Milford Cubicle

3. When you go to parties, convince the host that the Spice Girls are actually Irish and that “it doesn’t GET any more ‘St. Pat’s’ than them!” Bring Spice with you and try to get the host to play “Wannabe” on repeat. Refuse to answer when questioned 6. Go to Wal-Mart and buy a as to why you own the CD. tent. Set it up in the beer, wine, and liquor aisle. Keep buying Wal-Mart’s 2. Bring large liquor bottles supply of Guinness every time they filled with water (and maybe a splash restock. Have a party in your tent. of soda or Kool-Aid) to parties. Every time an employee asks you Wait until everyone is significantly what you’re doing, tell them to leave intoxicated, then start offering shots you alone since they’re intruding on of your “booze.” Ask those that your private campground. partake if they’re “feeling it.” Express concern that you don’t want them 5. Saran wrap your passed getting sick because of you. If they out friend. I wouldn’t recommend insist that they’re fine, see if they’ll throwing Molotov cocktails at your chug a whole cup of it. Ask how they friend. can drink such horrendously tasting “alcohol” so easily. 4. Conjure a bogus lawsuit and ask a lawyer to write a fake 1. Ask Chancellor Carney, “Is subpoena. Deliver this to Student it cool if we party at your house Body President Lauren Huchingson tonight?” If he refuses, tell him that (and keep a straight face!). If she it’s the only way you’ll support the doesn’t start crying, she’ll attack name change. If he still refuses, start you; in either case, hilarity ensues. hugging him, crying, and telling him Bonus points if she cries and THEN that you “love him, man,” because attacks you. you’re a lush and have already been drinking.

Happy St. Pats from The Mineshaft!

Paste PHD Comic here. www.phdcomics.com

Math Square
Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction.

x x + + x 23 -31 x -

+ + / + 11


5 4

Page 10

(Evil) Sudoku (Easy)