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The MineShaft
Where the real news is buried April 11, 2007 Vol. 1 Issue 14

In This Issue
1 Big Day of Changes Chartwells Awarded New Food Contract Tensions in Iran Continue to Flare Growth of a Nation Why Your Music Sucks and Mine Doesn’t An Alternative to iTunes What’s Up, Wasabi? The Invisible Children A New Sheet of Ice The Gyroball

Big Day of Changes
This past week it was obvious that something was amiss on campus. Everything in the Havener Center looked a bit better than usual and, if you went upstairs, you couldn’t help but notice a few stray police that seemed to be guarding certain rooms. Who could make the people here at UMR behave like this (did you like the “wall of innovation” that coincidentally went up?)? Obviously enough, the Board of Curators were in town. For those who do not know who the Board of Curators are, allow me to give a brief explanation of their existence. The board consists of

Nathaniel d’Artagnan

3 4 5

6 7 8 9

A Note from Sybil
I am pleased to once again be able to welcome you with our fourteenth issue. We are excited to have added what will become a new recurring writer for us in the form of Lauren Rich. We hope you all have been enjoying her new pieces and we would love any feedback you have. We are also happy to announce that we were able to send one of our Editor-in-Chiefs to the Media Board meeting this past Monday. It was great to be able to connect to the fellow media outlets here at UMR. Other than that we are still working on making ourselves a more official organization and we should be to that point in the very near future. Thank you all for your feedback and we, as always, would love to hear any suggestions you have for improvement. Just send us an email and we will do all we can to address your concerns.

nine members who are appointed to their position by the Governor. Since the University of Missouri system is a land grant institution, these members are appointed and make their decisions with the advice and consent of the Missouri Senate. The Board itself is responsible for making the decisions that are integral to the system and can basically have control of anything that happens within the UM system. With that being said, last Friday was a day of two very important announcements for UMR as a whole. The first of these is the one that, unless
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Chartwells Awarded New Food Contract
UMR recently awarded a new five-year contract to Chartwells, the University’s current dining services provider, under a plan that includes expanded services and menu choices, new dining venues, a $900,000 investment by Chartwells in facility upgrades & a new management team. The contract is effective June 1. Chartwells was selected through a competitive bid process by a committee made up of eight students and seven UMR employees, chaired by Jim Murphy, assistant vice chancellor of student affairs, which was known as the RFP (Request for Proposals) Committee. After reading Page 1

Arrian Syrus

through the bids that were received, listening to presentations on the bids, and several hours of discussion, each committee member was told to evaluate the bids independently. Their evaluations were compiled and the winning bid was determined from there. Chartwells’ planned offerings include two new Outtakes convenience dining venues – one in the UMR Library (with a Seattle’s Best coffee bar) and one in the new residential college when it opens this fall; an Einstein Brothers Bagels shop replacing Cup O’ Joe’s; a Coyote
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Chartwells Continued from Page 1
Jack’s Grill in the main food court; and a reconfiguration of the food court to provide more offerings. Additionally, Chartwells is upgrading the dining areas at Thomas Jefferson Hall and Rayl Cafeteria, is expanding meal hours, and is investing $900,000 to upgrade existing facilities. These changes were all made in order to better suit the students needs. The RFP committee spent several days going over and writing in the Food Proposal exactly what the University students’ needs were. Information from surveys, response

from open forums, and a food consultant was used in the decision on what to include in the Proposal. Food venders were required to create a contract proposal that met the terms of the constructed Food Proposal. What we were told is that the new food contract has more accountability for the vendor and expresses student desires much more clearly than the previous contract. This means students can expect very positive changes in the coming years. Chartwells representatives plan to present details of the new dining services plan during two more information sessions Wednesday. The sessions are as follows:

3-5 p.m. Wednesday in the Havener Center Atrium. Representatives will be available to answer questions that students, faculty or staff may have about the changes. 7 p.m. Wednesday during the Residence Hall Association meeting in the Carver-Turner Room of Havener Center. These are meant to be an open forum where students can come and bring questions about the changes that will be occurring in the coming years. If you have questions I encourage you to attend one of these sessions.

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you have been living under a very large rock for almost a year now, you already know about. The Board of Curators unanimously approved the Chancellor’s suggestion to change the name of the University of Missouri - Rolla starting next January. This means that once January comes, we will become Missouri University of Science & Technology. While I could spend this time singing the praises of the new name or fervently bringing up the points against it I will instead talk about the announcement that was actually surprising and might be a bit more useful to those of us already here. On the same Friday the 6th, the Board of Curators also approved the suggestion to develop a research and technology park on the space that is currently used for the UMR golf course. While the plans are not set

in stone (and the final plans will be approved at a later Board of Curators meeting), the idea behind this is fairly well defined. By providing a space where the University and corporations can perform research, the students of UMR will be provided with an invaluable service. Imagine a park where businesses set up shop and hire and recruit students and faculty to come work for them and perform cutting edge research and development. This would allow students an opportunity for hightech research while staying in Rolla (assuming, of course, you would

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consider that a plus). These kind of facilities exist across the United States at other universities (Texas A&M as an example) and are a staple of top research universities (please see the Chancellor’s goal for UMR). While this is intriguing enough for me, Keith Strassner, director UMR’s office of technology commercialization and economic development, had even more to say in the press release sent out last Friday. Strassner said, “We have a great deal of interest from technology-based businesses who desire to locate or expand their operations here. Plans are also in development for the creation of a university business incubator to provide lab and support facilities for faculty and student startups.” With that being said, not only are we going to have access to more research facilities, but we will also hopefully have facilities to allow for a greater amount of entrepreneurship here on campus.

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Tensions in Iran Continue to Flare
Tensions with Iran continued to be high, even after Iran released the 15 British sailors and apologized for their capture. Iran announced Monday that it has begun enriching uranium with 3,000 centrifuges and expanding a nuclear program that has drawn United Nations sanctions and condemnation from the West. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said at a ceremony celebrating Iran’s one-year anniversary of enriching small amounts of uranium at its Natanz enrichment facility that Iran has advanced its nuclear capability. “With great honor, I declare that as of today our dear country has joined the nuclear club of nations and can produce nuclear fuel on an industrial scale,” Ahmadinejad said. This level of uranium enrichment could produce fuel for a nuclear reactor or the material for a nuclear warhead. The U.S. and its allies accuse Iran of intending to produce weapons with this technology, a charge refuted by Iran. The White House was quick to criticize the announcement. “Iran continues to defy the international community and further isolate itself by expanding its nuclear program, rather than suspending uranium enrichment,” said Gordon Johndroe, a spokesman for the government’s National Security Council. The U.N. has vowed to ratchet up sanctions as long as Iran refuses to suspend enrichment. The Security Council first imposed limited sanctions in December, then increased them slightly last month, and has now set a new deadline of late May. In his speech, Mr. Ahmadinejad insisted Iran has been cooperative with the IAEA, allowing it inspections of its facilities, but he warned, “Don’t do something that will make this great nation reconsider its policies” in an apparent reference to the threat of increased U.N. sanctions. Mr. Larijani said Iran is willing to offer assurances that its program is peaceful. But he said the West must accept its nuclear program as a fact: “We do not give in our rights.” Across Iran, school bells rang to mark the “national day of nuclear energy.” The government sent out messages of congratulations for the occasion to millions of mobilephone users. In Tehran, some 200 students formed a human chain at the Atomic Energy Organization while chanting “death to America” and “death to Britain.” The students burnt American and British flags. On April 9, 2006, Iran announced it had first enriched uranium using an array of 164 centrifuges. Iran has said its next step is to set up 3,000 centrifuges, but it isn’t clear where the project stands. Experts say the Natanz plant needs between 50,000 to 60,000 centrifuges to consistently produce fuel for a reactor or build a warhead. In the enrichment process, uranium gas is pumped into a “cascade” of thousands of centrifuges, which spin the gas at supersonic speeds to purify it. Uranium enriched to a low level, at least 3%, can be used as fuel, while Page 3
Arrian Syrus Source: AP

at a far higher level -- more than 90% -- it can be used to build a weapon. Iran currently has two cascades of 164 centrifuges each operating at an aboveground portion of the Natanz facility in central Iran. The two cascades have produced small quantities of non-weapons grade enriched uranium, U.N. nuclear inspectors have said.

ountdown thecountdownthecountdownthecou

2096 days until the end of the world (Mayan Calendar) 339 daze till the 100th Best Ever 86 days until The Tour de France 50 days until The World Series of Poker 37 days until The Science Olympiad 28 days until last day of finals 8 days until Nigerian elections 7 days until our next issue 3 days until Saint Louis Marathon

Growth of a Nation
Sit down and think for a moment. What American population do you think is currently growing the most in size, by percentage? Hispanics? African-Americans? Idiot reporters that ask leading questions to begin their articles? All of those answers are wrong. A study that was released on Monday found that the percentage of people in the United States that are severely obese has risen by more than 50% between 2000 and 2005. To begin, we should probably define what “severely obese” means. Severely obese is defined as having a Body Mass Index (BMI) of higher than 40. Now, for those of you who know what a BMI is and what your number should be, you realize how high a BMI of 40 truly is. An average BMI that is usually considered in acceptable shape is somewhere between an 18.5 and a 24.9. This means that anywhere in that range, you shouldn’t be too terribly concerned about being overweight. However, considering that 25 is considered overweight, and we are talking about a group of people with a BMI of greater than 40, there is obviously some room to be concerned here. With this sharp rise in severe obesity over 3% of the United States is now self reportedly severely obese. This study also points out that these numbers are simply based off of what people self report, which is usually lower than their actual weight, which would obviously register a lower BMI than they actually have. In addition to this group of people being severely obese, this situation becomes even more frightening when
Drake Drache

you look at the health of our nation on a wider perspective. According to the most recent study performed by the World Health Organization (WHO) 74.1 percent of people in the United States over the age of 15 are considered overweight by medical standards. While WHO does explain that some of these people are not necessarily directly comparable using BMI testing alone, the number is still strikingly high. Almost three out of every four people you meet here are going to be overweight, and the number of people in that category continues to climb every year. So maybe being overweight isn’t that big of a deal. Obviously a lot of people are overweight and some of these people are even quite happy with their weight. The reason this issue is important is because of the massive risks to an individual’s health. According to studies performed and verified by the American Obesity Association the risk of certain health problems rises drastically with weight gain. If you are an overweight male you are about two and a half times more likely to get type II diabetes (if you are severely obese you are over Page 4

five times as likely to be diagnosed). You are also 10% more likely to suffer from coronary heart disease, 45% more likely to suffer from high blood pressure, and 75% more likely to suffer from osteoarthritis (if you are severely obese these numbers rise to: 81%, 175%, and 287% respectively). Women are even more susceptible to these dangers from being overweight. This issue deeply concerns me. This issues is a threat to our society as a whole. Apparently I am not the only one concerned. Last year in March the surgeon general was quoted as saying, “Unless we do something about it, the magnitude of the dilemma will dwarf 9-11 or any other terrorist attempt.” In today’s world, that sure seems like a dire warning to me.

Why Your Music Sucks and Mine Doesn’t
I know—this article’s title is very confrontational. I don’t want you to be mad, though; after all, you’re in the majority by having bad music taste. Not everyone can have a broad, diverse, and (most importantly) exceptional taste in music like I do. I can do you a favor and tell you exactly why your music is such a disappointment to my ears though. The first reason is because your music uses regular instruments like guitars, basses, and drums. True musicians use weird instruments (like marimbas), craft their own instruments, or put their own twist on a regular instrument. For example, PVC pipe can be made into an interesting percussive instrument. Using a violin bow on a guitar is especially avant-garde. Another reason your music sucks is because it’s the wrong length. Albums of “true” music need to have average song lengths of either under a minute and a half or over six minutes. Any song that is over 15 minutes with half of the song being devoted to either prodigious soloing or plodding ambient passages is quite possibly the most “pure” music in existence. Your music is really bad because you can understand the vocalist and what he/she is saying. In real music, the vocalist simply uses screams, growls, yells, or guttural grunts to convey emotion. Exceptions can occur when the vocalist actually sings, but only if the volume of the rest of the instruments is loud enough to drown the singing out. The lyrics can be poetry in motion for all I care, but if you can understand them without looking for the lyrics online then something is wrong. Speaking of lyrics, if the music you listen to doesn’t reference classic literature (such as Don Quixote or Atlas Shrugged), science (like the works of Carl Jung or space exploration), or contain an overall theme (i.e. concept albums), then it’s terrible. The general rule of thumb here is this: if the album doesn’t require a PhD to understand, it’s not good enough. All bands that make good music have a genre-shifting album. In other words, they make an album that sounds completely different from
Milford Cubicle

everything else they’ve ever done. Is your favorite band an alternative rock band? Unless they’ve made a death metal record with guest rappers on every other track, they’re never going anywhere. If you can bob your head, headbang, snap, or tap your foot to a rhythm, then stop listening immediately. Great music has more time-signature and tempo changes in one song than the Beatles had in a career. Most importantly, truly artistic music should never be catchy. With this article, I hope I’ve set some ground rules for you to start genuinely recognizing and appreciating good music. Just keep in mind that ALL these standards need to be met. For example, Tool has got the literary references down, but I’m pretty sure they had a song where you could understand the vocals, so they’re no good. If you’re afraid you won’t be able to remember all of these rules, here’s the shortened version: if you think someone will like the music you’re listening to, it probably sucks. In fact, if YOU like it, it probably sucks. You should
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An Alternative to iTunes
As a Mac junkie, I am guilty of overlooking new technologies that don’t have an ‘i’ prominently displayed in front of the name. After last week’s article about Apple’s introduction of DRM-free music, it was pointed out to me that a site called eMusic has been offering DRM-free downloads for several years. I signed up for a free trial at eMusic.com and was pleasantly surprised. After entering credit card information (eMusic works on a subscription basis) and downloading some software, I was on my way. The music quality on eMusic is comparable to that of iTunes, and the selection is good (they advertise Page 5

Sophia Kant

a million tracks). The music worked with my iPod and it was refreshing to send a song to multiple friends without having to give out an account password (the way that iTunes prevents file sharing). If you download frequently and are looking for a legal alternative to file sharing, eMusic.com is worth checking out.

What’s Up, Wasabi?
Cozy, elegant, private, and perfectly lit; this sounds like the ideal place for a quiet, intimate date or a sit-down bite with some old (or new) friends. While the layout of Wasabi (the new Japanese restaurant on Kingshighway, near Long John Silvers) is a little cumbersome to walk around, once you are seated it becomes apparent that the seemingly oddly placed paper dividers are perfectly positioned for some privacy while you dine. One thing in particular that I really noticed about the restaurant was the lighting. As I mentioned before, it was perfect-not so bright that it detracts from any sense of romance or relaxation you might be seeking, but not so dim that you can’t read the menu. Another perfect attribute to the already great restaurant was the music. The soft, lulling notes caressed the willing listener, but did not disturb the focused conversationalist. It was loud enough to be heard, but not so overpowering it could not be ignored. While I have not tried everything on the menu and am by no stretch of anyone’s imagination a sushi connoisseur, I would like to share my thoughts on my delightful meal there. First on the table was the miso soup, which comes with an entree. Usually I am not a fan of tofu and often try to avoid it. That being said, the broth for the soup was quite flavorful and the sliced green onions were particularly delicious. Nothing beats the crisp flavor of fresh green onions in a warm broth; they’re comfort to the extreme. Though the edamame (about $3),
Lauren Rich

in my opinion, could have used a little more salt, the soy beans were boiled to the perfect tenderness and were plump and practically bursting from the pods. The appetizers were quickly followed by the main dish: the sushi. I was with my boyfriend so we decided to go with two rolls. If you have never ordered sushi rolls before, I have found in my limited (but delicious) experiences that the following portions are usually common: # of rolls Feeds 1 large 1.5 people 1 small 1 person 1 large +1 small 2 people (plus a little for a snack later) Realize, though, that you will probably be ready for a small snack later in the evening. If you’re still hungry at the table, another sushi roll or bowl of rice will probably fill you up a bit, and for a buck the price is not bad either. The Crunch roll and the Las Vegas roll stood out on the menu to both of us, the Crunch being a smaller roll ($5.50) and the Las Vegas being a larger, or “special,” roll ($9.95). The Crunch consisted of a bit of crab, avocado, and cucumber wrapped in rice and topped with an orange “spicy crunch,” which added a little kick and a lot of flavor. The crab, avocado, and rice made for a smooth basis and the cucumber and “crunch” provided the “crunchy” contrast. It might have been a little spicy for me, but the tiniest bit of spice sends me groping for my drink. The Las Vegas roll was definitely the highlight of the meal. Wrapped in Page 6

seaweed, battered, and deep fried, this roll was AMAZING! First, there was the flavor. The crab, the cucumber, and the deep-fried-ness exploded into a plethora of intense flavors, which was enhanced by the salt in a little bit of soy sauce. Then, there’s the texture. Again, there was a contrast between the smooth and crunchy, but this time it was not quite so obvious. The crab, the cream cheese, and the rice, ensured a creamy, almost delicate texture that filled my mouth like a small, soft, edible pillow. The ends were the best, as they have the most deep-fried batter, but the inner pieces definitely ensured this roll a top rank among my favorites. Overall, though Wasabi is a little more expensive than I would like to pay on a regular basis, the meal we got would definitely be worth the occasional splurge, and I highly recommend it. For those of you who are not brave enough to try sushi just yet (though they do have some cooked rolls), they do have the typical non-sushi items such as chicken teriyaki and tempura on the menu. I have not personally tried these, but from what I have heard, they are equally delicious. If you have any questions, comments or suggestions, feel free to email me at TheHungryCoed@gmail.com.

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never enjoy what you listen to. [Editor’s Note: This article is not intended to be taken seriously, and the author does not actually think your music sucks. In fact, I think I heard him listening to Ashlee Simpson the other day.]

The Invisible Children
Three film-makers from California visited Africa to find out what really is going on in a continent filled with turmoil. While there they uncovered a story of a 17-year-long war which is still going on today and is being fueled by over 23,000 children who have been abducted from their homes and brainwashed into soldiers and sex-slaves. This war is happening in Uganda, Africa and has drastically turned the country into a war-torn state. This has caused an entire generation of children to know nothing of peace and only feelings of fear. This civil war occurs between the Ugandan government and a rebel group lead by Joseph Kony, a man who claims to be possessed with a spirit telling him to overthrow the Ugandan government. Many children live in hiding during the night, while others are constantly traveling to avoid being kidnapped in their homes. As a reactionary measure, many Ugandans live in protection camps that are crowded, receive little food, and provide no good way to make an income. The three film-makers have produced a film called the “Invisible Children” which documents what is going on in Uganda right now and tells many personal stories from the children of Uganda in hopes of raising awareness for the terrible
Miles Netockny

things occurring halfway across the world but have been ignored. Is an African life less of a life than

an American or British life? This is what the media tells us, and what we need to do is show it isn’t true! There are three main ways that you can help – the Bracelet Campaign, the Education Program, and Displace Me. Other ways, such as interning or helping as a teacher in Uganda, are detailed on the website, www.invisiblechildren.com . To solve the problem of extreme unemployment in protection campus, the Invisible Children organization is selling bracelets, where each color represents a different child whose story was captured in the production of the video. The bracelet symbolizes a connection the organization is trying to create between Ugandans and other people around the world. Page 7

“Finally, a bracelet that comes full circle,” is their slogan for the merchandise. For $20, you will receive a bracelet of your choice of color (red, green, and white are currently available but 5 more colors are coming soon) as well as a DVD detailing the child’s story that corresponds to the color of the bracelet. The production of these bracelets provides an economic opportunity for Ugandans in protection campus and the proceeds go to the “Education Program” (see next section). Due to the effects of the war, approximately 60% of Uganda’s schools are now non-functioning, leaving many children without education. The Invisible Children Education Program (ICEP) uses money from the Bracelet Campaign as well as money directly donated to the cause to help bring educations to as many children as possible. One distinct part of this program is that there are mentors for each child who encourage, provide academic accountability, foster leadership skills, and provide parental and career-oriented guidance. Preference is given to orphans and heads of households. For every $300 donated, one child can have safety, nutritious food, uniforms, housing, school supplies, tuition, and pay for their Ugandan mentor for one semester. Thousands of Ugandans live in protection camps out of fear of being abducted in the middle of the night.
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A New Sheet of Ice
It has always been said, that when a team gets to the playoffs, whatever happened in the regular season no longer counts. The only reason you play the regular season is really just to get to the playoffs. The past months the team has spent toiling and grinding through the season facing countless amounts of adversity and molding itself into the team that it is today no longer matters because it’s playoff time. Everyone starts with a new slate. This year’s NHL playoffs are stemming from an exciting season of great entertainment coming from a league that really needs it. In order to regain fan morale and getting back to what it had in the years before the strike, the NHL is hoping to have great atmosphere and suspense surrounding the playoffs. These playoffs could actually obtain some of the goals the NHL is hoping for as it sets up to be a great month of hockey. A quick rundown of the teams in the playoffs: starting off in the eastern conference we have the Buffalo Sabres who have been seated

number one and have been number one in the league all year. The Sabres have great offensive weapons and Drury, which the rest of the team feeds off of. The other team in the

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series is the number 8 rated New York Islanders, they come in with great momentum as every number8 team does. They don’t have the greatest talent, but they do have some things going for them such as the new acquisition of Ryan Smyth. He seems to have rejuvenated the Isles into the playoffs, but we will see hoe far they can make it from there. The two/seven match up in the eastern conference are the New Jersey devils and the Tampa Bay Lightning. For years the centerpiece of the Devils had been Martin Brodeur; his goal tending ability has kept the team in Page 8

contention. Let’s see how he does with the great offensive attack of the Lightning with great forwards like Martin St. Louis and Vincent Lecavalier. The next series in the Eastern conference has the Atlanta thrashers set up against the New York Rangers. The Thrashers are hoping to have a strong veteran presence in the series stemming from Kieth Tkachuk and Alexei Zhitnik. The Rangers hope that their star power leads them through the series with players like Brendan Shanahan and Jaromir Jagr. Rounding out the Eastern conference we have the Ottawa Senators vs. the Pittsburgh Penguins. Pittsburgh comes into the playoffs hoping that their new tangent of Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin will show what they are made of and prove to the league that Pittsburgh is for real. The Senators hope to bust Pittsburgh’s bubble and prove that “Sid the Kid” isn’t the new Gretzky. Coming in the Western conference we have the number one seat, the Detroit Red Wings, hoping that Dominik Hasek has enough left in his tank to get Detroit to another Stanley Cup. They will be playing against the number 8 seat, the Flames. The Flames come in hoping that Miikka Kiprusoff can neutralize Hasek and allow for Jarome Iginla to be the superstar that everyone knows that he can be. At the number two/seven seat, we have the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim vs. the Minnesota Wild. The Ducks are hoping to get back to where they were last year, in the Western conference finals and with the presence of Scott
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The Gyroball

Anyone that has been watching the baseball scene for a few months knows about the new Boston pitching phenomenon Daisuke Matsuzaka. Daisuke, who signed with the Red Sox over the summer, hails from Japan and has proven every sports writer wrong about their past assumptions when comparing him to other Japanese players in Major League Baseball. Daisuke made his Major League debut April 5th against the Royal and turned out a very impressive game pitching seven innings and getting 10 strikeouts with a 1.29 ERA. He wowed all of the scouts from the MLB in last year’s world series of baseball. As the ace of the Japanese team that ended up winning the series, he showed great ability throughout the series. They were really wowed when none of the US hitters could handle any of his pitches. That’s why when the Red Sox found out that they could get Daisuke for their next season they jumped on the opportunity and signed him for a huge contract. The big attraction with Daisuke is the amount of different pitches that he can throw. To this day, scouts still cannot figure how many different pitches he can through although they say it is between six and eight. He of course has the standard pitches of fastball, slider, sinker, and changeup. The big pitch that no one can figure out is what players are calling the “gyroball”.

is the easiest, the fastball-changeup combination. A good pitcher’s fastball-changeup combination will vary in speed by over 30 mph. As a batter, when choosing how to swing, 30 mph is a world of difference. It may look easy to hit a 60 mph changeup, but not after just seeing a 98 mph fastball. That changeup can make you look like an idiot in a split second and based on whether or not you can hit that could be the difference between staying in the majors or moving down to the minors. Daisuke’s supposed gyroball takes this to a new level. When the ball comes in it looks as though it is a slider or sinker, hence tricking the batter into waiting for it to slide or sink. Based on how he has thrown in the past, the end result will be the ball simply floating through the strike zone and the batter swinging full force where a sinker or slider would have been. The battle in baseball between the batter and pitcher is an endless one. Daisuke simply brings a new option to the table. Instead of freezing the batter up with a fastball-changeup combination, he just confuses the batter with the ball’s location. Picture from AP Photo Look for Daisuke to have scout from ESPN says. The gyroball great success; that is until scouts simply does nothing. To understand and player figure out how to hit it. how it works, you have to understand They always figure it out eventually. pitching. All pitches are made to You must remember that in baseball screw up the batters timing, swing history there was always a player and his mind. The gyroball just adds that could throw the first sinker or to that philosophy. Scouts say that the first slider. Daisuke is simply the the greatest pitching combination first that can throw the gyroball. Players have said everything about this ball; that it looks like anything between a sinker and a screwball. Recently it has been the scouts’ goal to find out exactly what this gyroball does. I have personally watched this pitch and agree with what one Page 9

Hockey Continued from Page 8
Niedermayer and Chris Pronger, their defense should have no problem carrying them. Now they just have to worry about their offense. The Wild come in hoping that their goal tending can prove it in the playoffs as it had difficulties proving itself in the regular season. They also hope that Marian Gaborik can put the Wild on his back and carry them through the playoffs. In the 3/6 series we have the Vancouver Canucks vs. the Dallas Stars. While some

will look at the match up between Mike Modano and Markus Naslund The real story of the series will be between the pipes. The two goalies in the series are Roberto Luongo and Marty Turco, this is where the series will be won or lost, not in the teams ability to score but in the ability to not let the other team score. In the always-entertaining 4/5 match up, the Nashville Predators meet up against the San Jose Sharks. The Predators are hoping that their latest acquisition in a little center called Peter Forsberg will help them to make it deeper into the playoffs. Also

look for their all-star goalie, Tomas Vokoun to propel them through the playoffs. On the other side are the Sharks, who, as no surprise this year, win their games by fighting for every inch of ice. Their top scorer and star of the team Joe Thornton looks to try to carry the team in points but look for him to have a lot more assists than actual goals. This year’s NHL Playoffs looks to be one of great excitement and great entertainment for anyone that loves sports. It will show to everyone that hockey is back, healthy and here to stay for a vary long time.

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Uganda tries to pay for food for these camps, but comes short. Therefore, the World Food Program has been funding more food, but it is barely enough. Many people continue to die of starvation each day. This April, the problem will only get worse as the budget for this relief is being cut in half. In protest, and in hopes that the United States government

will do something as response, thousands (over 30,000 currently signed up) of U.S. citizens are going to gather together in 15 major cities across the U.S. on April 28th, being displaced just as many Ugandans have been displaced. The closest location of such an event to Rolla is in Kansas City. They request that you bring enough cardboard to make a tent (they’re going to construct a cardboard city), a sleeping bag, a

1.5-L sealed bottle of water, a box of saltine crackers, and a photo of you wearing a white t-shirt with a red X, symbolizing you getting displaced. For more information about the movement, history, or what you can do, visit the website, www. invisiblechildren.com . Also, to get more information about what UMR / Missouri S&T students are doing, please contact David Pollack at dfp7cd@umr.edu .

The Credits...
Nathaniel d’Artagnan (Alex Dempsey) Milford Cubicle (Ben Williams) Sybil (Michael Orlando) Sophia Kant Miles Netockny (Kate Oliver) Maurice Arrian Syrus Horace Horsecollar Drake Drache Briony Thorne Luke Merchant Lauren Rich Editor-in-Chief Editor-in-Chief Layout Editor Staff Writer Staff Writer / Secretary Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Staff Writer Recurring Guest Writer Page 10 NathanieldArtagnan@gmail.com sir.cubicle@gmail.com TheNewMineshaft@gmail.com sophiakant@gmail.com milesnetockny@gmail.com Mauricesports@gmail.com arrian.syrus@gmail.com horatius.horsecollar@gmail.com drakedrache@gmail.com briony.thorne@gmail.com TheNewMineshaft@gmail.com TheHungryCoed@gmail.com

Paste PHD Comic here. www.phdcomics.com

Math Square
Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction.

+ x 14 -46 x -

/ + + + x 13


6 -35

Page 11

(Evil) Sudoku (Easy)