Vol.

XIII

Winter, 1998

The Waverly Newsletter
Greenwich, CT
Sea Trail Plantation Welcomes the Waverly Invitational
We are pleased to announce that the Sea Trail Plantation in Sunset Beach, NC will host the 14th Annual Waverly Invitational from Wednesday, April 29 to Saturday, May 2, 1998. Of all the golfing destinations in the Myrtle Beach area, Sea Trail has established itself as one of the finest on the “Grand Strand” and has enough there to satisfy every golf addict. It has forged a reputation for quality golf as much as quantity, and three top architects lend their names to the venues. There are three signature courses at Sea Trail: the Dan Maples, the Rees Jones, and the Willard Byrd. They are built on rolling terrain, heavily wooded with dogwood and live oak, just a half mile from the Atlantic Ocean. The Maples layout, opened in 1985, features large waste areas, subtle, bentgrass greens, and water on ten holes. The par-5 fifteenth is typical of the course: a waste area runs down the left side, and heavy stands of trees guard the right. The Rees Jones course, opened since 1989, has elevated greens, water on eleven holes, and a great number of severe bunkers. No. 5, a 189-yard par 3, plays over water to a bulkheaded green with deep pot bunkers in the back. The newest of the three, the 1990 Willard Byrd Course, is characterized by the large lake that comes into play on thirteen holes. Visit Sea Trail Plantation at www.seatrailresort.com for more information. Travel agents courting the Commish knew he could be bought, it was just a matter of playing “Let’s Make A Deal” to meet our ever demanding needs, and the local Bartender Association is thrilled the Waverly is coming to their town. It’s the cops that are worried. Four villas have been reserved, each with 4 bedrooms, full kitchen, 2 full bathrooms and living area. Your package includes the tournament fee, accommodations, breakfast, greens fee, golf cart, range balls, and a 1 hour open bar on Friday, May 1st. With the assistance of a professional butcher playing in the tournament this year, group barbeque dinners right at our villas are being planned to help keep the overall cost down. Here is the schedule of our playing times: Round Practice First Second Third Holes 18 27 27 18 Tee Time 1:32 pm 8:28 am 8:28 am 12:12 pm Course Byrd Maples Jones Byrd Comments Let’s get ready toooooooooo rumble!!!!!!!!!! Super layout, a must play in Myrtle, well maintained. Best of the three, in great shape, treat with respect. Beautifully manicured, fun to play, high customer satisfaction.

Sea Trail Plantation is an environmentally friendly resort and requires spike less golf shoes at all times on all three courses. Cost (excluding dinners): Practice & Tournament Tournament Only $501 $448 (includes Wednesday evening stay)

YOU MUST SEND RICK A DEPOSIT OF $150 BY MARCH 12TH IN ORDER FOR THE COMMISH TO RETAIN THIS PACKAGE PRICING!!!!! FOR CONVENIENCE A STAMPED PRE-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE IS ENCLOSED FOR YOUR USE. DO NOT DELAY!!!!! Call Rick on 919-968-2537 or E-mail at cobble109@aol.com with any concerns regarding payment. Currently 12 tee times are reserved for the practice round and 16 tee times for the Tournament. Let Rick know your scheduled arrival time as soon as possible so he can add practice tee times, if necessary. Servicing the Sunset Beach area are the Myrtle Beach, SC (30 miles) and Wilmington, NC (40 miles) Airports. Transportation to Sea Trail Plantation can be arranged by the resort for a fee. Don’t delay and risk losing your place.

Trivia
What year did Bruce Smith win the Heisman Trophy?

For What It’s Worth
Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many friends you have or how accepted you are. Not about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone. It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date, how many people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all. It isn't about who you have kissed, It's not about sex. It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have or what kind of car you drive. Or where you are sent to school. It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are. Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, or what kind of music you listen to. It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown or if your skin is too light or too dark. Not about what grades you get, how smart you are, how smart everybody else thinks you are, or how smart standardized tests say you are. It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport. It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who will "accept the written you." BUT, life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully. It's about keeping or betraying trust. It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon. It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening. About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip. It's about what judgments you pass and why. And who your judgments are spread to. It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention. It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge. It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow, and spreading it. But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone. Only you choose the way those hearts are affected, and those choices are what life's all about.

Nerds
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers in California stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying: "NERDS NOT ALLOWED -- ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!" He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver says he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling. The bartender says OK, truck drivers are not nerds, and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver asks him why he did that. The bartender said not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating the Silicon Valley, and are in season now. "You don't even need a license," he said. So the truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't let them steal his whole load. So remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver said, "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season." "Well, sure," said the patrolman, "but you can't bait them."

The Waverly Portfolio
IBM Ingersoll Rand Lockheed Martin McDonalds Paychex Berkshire Hathaway B Nike Market NYSE NYSE NYSE NYSE Nasdaq NYSE NYSE Buy Price $57 7/16 $55 $65 $43 ½ $31 $1860 $43 7/8 02/27/98 $104 7/16 $ 47 5/8 $116 11/16 $ 54 9/16 $ 51 5/8 $1860 $ 43 7/8 Profit $47 ($7) $51 $11 $20 $0 $0 Comment Hold Hold Hold Hold Hold Let’s ride Warren Buffett’s golden touch. One of few cheap stocks on the big board.

The Waverly portfolio sold Presstek as it continued to drop. Also Nash-Finch, the recommended buy from the financial analyst that also happened to dance at Rudy’s Pure Gold for a few bucks, was dropped from the portfolio. Our last two serious buys, Paychex and McDonald, are performing quite nicely. Only IR is in a loss position at this time. We are adding two stocks to the portfolio today, Berkshire Hathaway B and Nike.

Carolina Rednecks
How do you circumcise a Carolina Redneck? Kick his sister in the chin. When is it okay to spit in the face of a Carolina Redneck’s girlfriend? When her mustache is on fire. Why do they put shit on the alter at Carolina Redneck weddings? To keep the flies off the bride.

Life Is Almost Complete
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch break, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I master computer software in one hour. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Yankees and Canadiens. I am subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, a shrewd investor, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy golf wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won weekend passes. Last summer I toured Vermont with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I referee hockey. I run the mile in under 4 minutes. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish my entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Ireland, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, I have flown jet fighters, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have yet to win the Waverly Invitational.

Next edition of The Waverly Newsletter: Spring, 1998.
Trivia answer: Bruce Smith, running back for the University of Minnesota, won the Heisman trophy in 1941. He went on to play professionally for the Green Bay Packers.

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