My 2 Cents

A Man After God’s Heart Makes the Best Husband
By Bob and Donna Benson
In our last article, we talked about a “Ruby Wife.” This week we want to talk about a Godly husband. A man who is God’s man…one who chooses to listen to God, follow God’s word, and act upon what he has learned, is a man after God’s heart. These men are loving, kind, trust worthy, loyal, and giving. They are not selfish or self focused. They walk with, and in, the Holy Spirit. These men make the best husbands. Why? Because when a man sets his heart on God/Jesus, he has made the decision to love God and serve man. He has set priorities in his life. This kind of man understands what is important in life…love, commitment, and fidelity. A husband with these qualities is rare and worth waiting for. The New Testament tells men to love their wives. This may be because arranged marriages in that time lacked love between a husband and wife. Women were not treasured and society did not see them as important. Women were necessary for increasing power and having children. However, Jesus leveled the playing field and proclaimed that all are equal in the kingdom of God. This created a new mind set for the believers of that time. Yet Jesus did not do away with the man as the head of the household. We must remember that God is a God of order. In order for there to be order in the household, someone must have the final say. God established the husband in the head position in the Old Testament and that did not change in the New Testament or today. First Corinthians talks about the love that each marriage should have.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ( KJV) Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Husbands and wives need to share this kind of love in their marriage. They need to put the other’s needs before their own. A husband that loves his wife will listen to her, share his thoughts with her, and ask her opinion regarding family decisions. He will remember that women are different. Women are emotional beings. They need to hear that their husband loves, appreciates, and needs them. Men tend to be more logical and methodical, needing love and respect. If we look at what makes up a good elder, we can see what makes up a good husband.

1 Timothy 3:1-7 ( KJV) 1 This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a (husband) elder, he desires a good work. 2 A (husband) elder then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, soberminded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach;

not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; 4 one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence 5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); 6 not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. 7 Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. We have inserted husband in place of elder. We do not think it is wrong to set this high standard for a Christian man in his place as a husband. A Godly husband is a believer, one who continues to grow and learn the things of God. As time passes, he will learn to share his knowledge and Godly wisdom with others. We see that a Godly husband is a hard working, upright man that takes care of his family. He provides income, stability, and love. He teaches his children to love and respect God, their Mother, and others. He has established a loving yet well ordered home. He supports his wife within the home and does not undermine her place. If he disagrees with his wife, he never does so in front of the children or others. They are always a strong, united unit in the raising of their children. He is a giving person. He gives of his time, abilities, and money. A good husband is a good steward. He works hard to provide for his family. He plans for saving and investing for future goals and retirement. He gives of his time at home, at church, and at work. He is balanced, not allowing outside activities to intrude on family because his family is one of his main priorities. God always comes first, his wife second, and children third. After these priorities, his ministries for God will follow. A husband worth having is considerate. He thinks of his wife and does small things to let her know he loves her. Again, remember to say “I love you” often. Women need to hear you say those words. Buy her flowers occasionally or small gifts; it will not break the bank. It is important to your wife to know you are thinking of her and actions speak louder than words. Make sure you continue to “date” after the wedding. A Godly man is firm in his convictions, seeks Godly wisdom and Godly advice. He is an example for his children and others to emulate. Though human, with all that comes with being human, a “man after God’s heart” is always seeking the better way…the Godly way in all things in his life. A Godly man has a friendly, kindhearted disposition. He is slow to get angry and quick to forgive. He seeks God each day of his life. He walks in the Spirit…allowing Jesus to grow within him day by day. He is truly a man after God’s own heart. Overall, a Godly man is the best friend, lover, and confidant a woman can find as a husband.


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