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The solitude of the elderly, the youngs thirst for roots: meeting and solidarity

between the generations


The theme of the meeting of generations and its social value - or perhaps even more its
spiritual worth - for all of society must be considered within the overall context of our lives
together. This includes family life whilst, at the same time, also involving other factors such as
socio-economic dynamics or media representations which have such a marked influence on
relations between the old and the young. One very clear example of this is how the question
is portrayed in the media: newspapers and television are full of examples which, to be frank,
depict the elderly in an extremely negative way and, very often, as in conflict with the younger
generations:
1. The cost of pensions is frequently represented as an unbearable burden for all of

society, to the point that it threatens to crush a countrys economy, along with the
hopes and aspirations of its young. It is to be noted that this problem relates to roughly
20% of the elderly in the world. In fact, 80% have no pension cover whatsoever 1 and
consequently find themselves in conditions of severe poverty once they are no longer
able to work: all of this to recall that pensions represent one of the greatest social
achievements of the last 150 years, an element vital to the standard of living in later life
and the absence of which makes itself felt in no uncertain terms. At the end of next
month a conference will be held in Berlin to celebrate the first legislation providing for
an old-age pension introduced by the Chancellor Otto Bismarck 125 years ago in what
was then the German Empire.
2. The elderly occupy jobs whilst the young remain unemployed. As though working were

a negative thing and robbed others of opportunity, whereas it is often precisely work
that creates new opportunities and, where there is no work, the situation afflicts the old
and the young alike, as we have seen in recent years.
3. Hospitals are full of elderly people who take places away from others: here again we

could easily argue that frequently the elderly would be more than happy to look after
themselves at home, but home care services are so inadequate that this is not
possible.
1 HelpAge International, UNFPA. Ageing in the Twenty-First Century: A Celebration and A Challenge.
New York-London 2012, page 185

4. In similar situations, the conflict becomes even more embittered, and not only in the

media: in Africa, once the home of the extended family, of the elders as the lynchpins
around whom one grew and from whom one learnt from their valuable experiences, the
growing number of older people has resulted in dramatic acts of violence being
committed against them. For example, when an infant or child dies, it is sometimes
believed that a village elder has used witchcraft to take anothers life in order to
prolong his own and therefore needs to be punished, even killed, so that he can no
longer steal lives from the young! We can see something similar occurring in Europe,
although with different characteristics: the spread of euthanasia, even through legal
means, is the other side of the coin: if the elderly are useless, then their lives are
worthless. And, to be honest, our experiences show us that there is also a hidden
euthanasia in the shape of abandoning the elderly in large institutions and little
attention being paid to their health, the fruit of a dramatic mix of ignorance and lack of
interest that has a devastating impact on the lives of weaker old people. Here, too, we
are dealing with the manifestation of a conflict between weaker lives, the meaning of
which we struggle to comprehend, and younger lives which believe they can dictate
over life and death from a position of supposed strength and from within a system in
which all form of weakness are to be despised.
The truth is that both the young and the old are often viewed as surplus to needs since
todays society has difficulty in grasping their usefulness. I believe that this should be our
starting point for any reflections on the subject. I would like to quote the words of the Pope
on the occasion of his visit to SantEgidio a few months ago:
...A people who dont protect their elderly, who dont take care of their young, is a people
without a future, a people without hope. Because the young the children, the youth
and the old carry history forward. The children, the young rightly have their biological
strength. The elderly offer their memory. But when a community loses its memory, its over,
its over. Its awful to see a community, a people, a culture thats lost its memory. The 90year-old grandma who spoke brava! she told us that there was this tendency to toss
aside, this throw-away culture. To maintain a balance like this, where at the centre of the
world economy there are no men and women, but where money is an idol, its necessary
to throw things away. Children are thrown-away, no children. Let us consider only the birth
2

rate in Europe: in Italy, Spain, France... And we throw away the elderly, behind which are
attitudes of hidden euthanasia, a form of euthanasia. They arent needed, and what isnt
needed gets thrown away. What doesnt produce is discarded. And today the crisis is so
great that the young are tossed aside: when we consider that these 75 million young
people aged 25 and below, who are neither-nors: neither working nor studying. They are
without. It happens today in this tired Europe.. 2
The young struggle to make their worth felt in a world that holds you in scarce regard
if you are unproductive or appear to have no role to play. But many young people do

not work or study and, therefore, become a mere surplus for a society that does not seem to
need them. In Europe there are 75 million under the age of 25 who neither work nor study. It
is as though the entire population of France, and a bit more, were in this situation. Can we
afford the luxury of discarding an entire nation that represents the future of our continent and
of the world itself? On the other hand, there are few appealing opportunities open to young
people other than, in many poor countries, escaping to seek their fortunes in rich nations, a
hope that all too often turns into disillusionment or, worse, tragedy such as those we witness
in various parts of the world and, closer to home, in the Straight of Sicily and the
Mediterranean in general.
At the same time, the elderly (almost 87 million in Europe alone) remain outside the cycle of
production, at least in a superficial but widely held view of the situation since this is not, in
fact, true at all: 47% of men and 24% of women continue to work until they are very old and,
in developing countries, this figure rises to 90%, often in the informal sector or undeclared
labour.3 But their practical experience is outdated, of little interest (at least, that is how it is
portrayed). Their daily lives interest nobody (another serious mistake from not only a human
but also a social and economic standpoint). In Australia, for example, the care provided to
children and the elderly by older women has been calculated as equal to $16 billion a year.
This is a concrete example, the help given by so many elderly people to their children by
looking after their grandchildren, often on a daily basis and for lengthy periods, so that their
2 Words of the Holy Father Francis during his visit to the Community of SantEgidio. Basilica di
Santa Maria in Trastevere, Sunday, 15 June 2014.
http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/it/speeches/2014/june/documents/papafrancesco_20140615_comunita-sant-egidio.html consulted 15.09.2014
3 HelpAge International, UNFPA. Ageing in the Twenty-First Century: A Celebration and A Challenge.
New York-London 2012, page 185

children are able to work. Let us imagine for a moment what would happen to the GDP were
the elderly to stop buying things! Not to mention the number of old people whose pensions
support entire families, tempering, to some degree, the problems created by unemployment,
redundancy, the often prohibitive costs of separation. How many old people welcome back
into their homes children who otherwise would not know where to go because they are unable
to afford to rent somewhere to live on just one salary? It is hard to see the elderly as surplus
even in terms of very basic economic logic!
The truth is that we find ourselves in an entirely new situation from a demographic point of
view. We have not yet reached a new demographic balance but the situation we find
ourselves in today, on a global level, has never before occurred in the history of humanity
and, therefore, requires imagination and innovative solutions, and also the creation of a new
culture.
This holds true for Europe, but also for Africa. Average world life expectancy increased by
roughly 20 years in the period between 1950 and 2010, from 46 to 66. This means that today
at least half of the worlds population dies after the age of 65. In sub-Saharan Africa, the
average age at death is around 57. During the same period, the number of those aged over
70 rose from fewer than 300 million to little under 1 billion, two-thirds of whom live in
developing countries. On the contrary, the number of individuals in the world under the age of
14 has remained more or less stable since the end of the last century. Today the ratio oldyoung is 1:2 (one over-70 year-old for every two under 14) but this will drop to 1:1 by the year
2050, whilst it was 3:1 in 1950. 4 These are enormous changes that are taking place, albeit at
different speeds and intensities, in every country in the world. I do not think we need refer to
the avalanche of figures explaining this demographic transition on a global level merely so as
to repeat the same concept in a different way: the world population today has a demographic
structure that has never been seen before. This should be enough to show that we need a
new way of thinking, and one that starts with the Gospel.
Hence there is a need for ecclesial reflection which, alongside the more readily
understandable attention paid to the younger generation, gives body to a pastoral dedicated
4 UNITED NATIONS - Department of Economic and Social Affairs Population Division.World
Population Ageing
2013 New York, 2013

to the elderly which encompasses the need for the Gospel arising from this new human and
social reality.
It is precisely in the context of such reflection and of this search which, for over 40 years, has
spurred on service devoted to the elderly by SantEgidio, that I have always been struck by
the attraction which the elderly hold for the young. We become aware of this when we visit the
elderly in institutions together with young people, pupils from middle schools, for example.
Suitably accompanied and prepared for these meetings, often parties, with a few songs, a
smile, boundless goodwill, these simple encounters between people living such profoundly
different lives leave an unforgettable mark on young and old alike. And it is precisely these
differences that create the attraction: for the elderly who, through contact with the young, no
longer feel themselves to have been set aside but sought after by people who wish to do
nothing but make a gesture of friendship. And, for the young who discover, to their surprise
and joy, how it is possible to enjoy moments of friendship with the old, people so different from
their daily reality. In my personal experience over many years there is always a desire to
repeat these encounters. Even when an old person is sick, or perhaps somewhat confused,
his state is not frightening but often becomes the spur towards greater sensitivity and
attention in the exchange.
I recently listened to a conference on the subject The young and the old: solidarity between
the generations. Amongst others, there were contributions from a young African man from
the Community of SantEgidio in Malawi, Elard Alumando, and from a very elderly rabbi,
David Broadman, who survived the Shoah after having been incarcerated at Auschwitz. Two
completely different lives, possibly as far from each other as can be imagined in human
experience. I was moved by the fact that both of them spoke of visits to the elderly in the
same words and tone, sometimes even using the very same expressions. Elard spoke of his
recent experiences in Malawi, 5 David Broadman of his experiences over 50 years ago in
Europe, in a world that no longer exists. I had the impression that this was a subject that had
remained intact, a similar shared and concrete experience across different cultures, worlds,
religious traditions and profoundly different human experiences. It was as though, speaking of
meetings between young and old, we were touching a deeply-resounding chord, an intimate
part of our lives which vibrates in the same way at differing latitudes, in different generations
5 Text available at http://www.santegidio.org/pageID/5373/langID/it/text/1167/Intervento.html,
consulted 14.09.2014

and in apparently disparate situations. It is the awareness that no man is an island, but that
each of us is also those who have gone before and, in some way, those who will come after.
The weakness of the elderly is a reason to bring out the best in us, a path that leads us to
imagine a new way of living together. That same weakness that frightens us, as we see in
our desire to exorcise old age from our society. Life is worth something if it is strong,
independent, healthy and, preferably, beautiful. An ideal gives way to a completely different
reality as the years pass. And then the fear that arises with that phrase that so many of us
have heard over and over again (and perhaps even pronounced?):I dont want to be a
burden to anyone!. A phrase which, deep down, expresses the fear that nobody will love me
enough to take care of me when I need it! It is a fear of living when life becomes difficult. And
how much there is in the Gospel to convert such fear. And yet, this weakness can itself
provide the opportunity to meeting, for friendships and new openings.
On the other hand we have the insecurities of the young, the idea of not having anybody you
can depend on who will truly care about your future, anyone willing to sacrifice themselves for
others. The idea of a life without roots except your own, and of your ability to make it alone.
And the idea that no ties or friendships are of any true value but, instead, simply become a
burden.
But these two weaknesses can give birth to a new way of living, transforming weakness into
opportunity. Weakness, if loved, becomes the catalyst of new relations, of a new scale of
values.6 From this perspective, life takes on new and ancient meaning at the same time. If we
consider the theme of experience, clearly it is hard for the experiences of an old person to
truly resound within the daily lives of young people since the world is changing so quickly and
the generation gap is now far greater than it was only 50 years ago. On the other hand, there
are realities that only the elderly can communicate and restore to our knowledge. Experience
of war is very important in this respect. What does it mean today to lose the generation that
fought the Second World War? The generation that protected a Jewish family from
persecution, that can tell us of the bombing of San Lorenzo in Rome, the fear, the bomb
shelters, the sirens, the fleeing and the dead. A generation that remembers hunger and
queues for bread. And, in the post-war years, those who lived through reconstruction and the
desire to retake a country in which people could live happily. That urge towards life which
6 Comunit di SantEgidio. La forza degli anni. Francesco Mondadori Ed.

gave us in Europe a prosperous continent where life is easier than in other parts of the world.
The collective memory that it is vital we pass on to the children of today. It would be wonderful
if the Parishes could become places in which the memories of the older generation were
passed down to the young! Last year together with a group of old people in the community we
presented a reconstruction of the history of a popular area in Rome and of its churches. The
elderly competed to contribute information, piece after piece, to this collective history from
1938, the year in which the parish was founded, up to today, accompanied by many of their
photographs. And we had to repeat the event on a number of occasion as so many people
wanted to participate! There is no future without memories reads the banner that each year
is carried at the head of the march held in Rome to recall the dramatic deportation of Roman
Jews on 16 October 1943. In this sense, too, the elderly are the memory and the future of our
societies.
In all of this there is the mystery of the weakness that becomes a strength, as Apostle Paul
would say.7 Basically, the entire 40 years of friendship between SantEgidio and the elderly
have followed this thread of encounters between young and old, of discovering the strength
and beauty of this friendship. I remember when, only 18, I went to visit some old people in a
house in a Roman neighbourhood: the surprise at meeting people who were so different, the
idea that friendship with someone over 80 years old would not last long whereas the length of
life gave us, and in many cases still gives us, innumerable opportunities for friendship. The
need to be gentle with the more fragile, but also to fully grasp the powerful desire for life
amongst those seemingly condemned by illness to a reduced life, limited to the four walls of
their homes. Thus we find friendship as an instrument for experiencing anew, for example, the
simple pleasure of leaving the house which, alone, would have been impossible. For lunch in
a restaurant or to go to a party. And, last but not least, coming together before the Lord in the
prayers of the liturgy, symbol of a shared destiny of faith that helps us overcome all
differences and distances and makes clear the meaning of the Gospel: according to St. Paul,
Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive and this is what we experience in our
meetings with the very elderly
So, weakness as an opportunity for friendship, for meeting, for taking care of one another, as
a great chance to emerge from ourselves and our own egocentrism. The blessing of being
7 2 Cor 12, 10.

called to think about something other than ourselves. Finding roots in another, discovering the
meaning of a life that does not begin and end with myself. The feeling of being part of
something that is much greater than myself and, for this reason, gives meaning also to my life
in a collective dimension from which we all too often withdraw through resignation, egoism, or
simply because we lack the opportunity.
The subject of the weakness of the old has been known to the people of Israel since antiquity.
In the Sirach we find:

My child, support your father in his old age,


do not grieve him during his life.
Even if his mind should fail, show him sympathy,
do not despise him in your health and strength;
for kindness to a father will not be forgotten
but will serve as reparation for your sins.
On your own day of ordeal God will remember you:
like frost in sunshine, your sins will melt away.
Whoever deserts a father is no better than a blasphemer,
and whoever distresses a mother is accursed of the Lord.

Today there is the risk at the level of the family and of society as a whole, of abandoning our
father and mother, whereas we have the responsibility to communicate another way of seeing
and understanding life. Above all, there is the awareness that weakness,when loved, is a
reason for happiness that becomes stronger than the sorrow linked to our own limitations or
suffering. All suffering, be it physical of psychic, is alleviated if we do not have to face it alone.
Learning this when we are young means sinking our roots into fertile ground.
8

In this context, the ties between young and old assume the role of a social architrave: a
precious substance, a resource for family and social life, a source of solid cohesion that puts
to rest so much divisive rhetoric about generational conflict.
I shall conclude by quoting the words of Andrea Riccardi on this topic during the presentation
of the volume, La forza degli anni lezioni di vecchiaia per giovani e famiglie, in May 2013
to mark 40 years of work by SantEgidio with the elderly. This volume gathers together the
experience and vision of the Community of SantEgidio regarding the elderly in our society: A
society which does not make space for its old people, loses all sense of itself, loses its human
face. A society in which the values of every individuals life are trampled on. It is a society in
which life merely means being well and so the sick, the handicapped, not only the old but all
of those who are wounded by their human experience in their body and soul are put to one
side. It is a society that loses its humanity and the only society with a human face is one
which has the face of the young and the old at the same 8.
It seems to me that today we are faced with a challenge for humanity, in response to
which the Gospel has so much to say, and it is our great responsibility to embody this
challenge in our lives so that the Gospel may speak to the hearts of the young and old of our
times.

8 A.Riccardi. Presentation of the volume La forza degli anni. Basilica di Santa Maria In Trastevere,
8 May 2013, Rome. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?
list=PLUoSbTXuPrWpYr9qPAU38UsvTMncGUA-9 consulted 14.09.2014

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