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DISCLAIMER
The jokes collecTed in This e-book are conTribuTed by people all around The world. we are claiming no copyrighT on mosT of The individual jokes found in This e -book. mosT of Them are, To The besT of our knowledge, in The public domain. iT is possible ThaT some of The jokes wiThin The collecTion are acTually copyrighTed. if There is any unfair misuse of copyrighT in This e -book, iT was noT willful. conTacT supporT@TinTumon.com and we will remove iT. This collecTion is copyrighT © 2009 by TinTumon.com. all righTs reserved. we are noT claiming This for The jokes on This book. we are claiming an “ediTor ’s” or “collecTion” copyrighT.

1
Tintumon in Bus
Busil vadi kuthi nilkunna oru vayassan seatil irukkunna tintumonod “mon enne onnu sahayikkanam” tintu: ”aa vadiyingu thannekoo,njan pidicholam”

2
Dr.Tintumon
“MBBS” passaya Tintumon adhyamaayi operation cheyyan thudangumbol daivathod prarthichu: “Joly kittiyathinte 1st gift itha njan angot ayakkunnu. sweekarikkane.”

3
Frank Tintu
Teacher: Now tintumon, Tell me frankly. Do you say prayers before eating? Tintumon: No sir, My mom is a good cook!!

4
Chemistry genius
Tintumon : Eureka , I have found out the chemical TOILET Calcium Cupric Sulphide… To be precise , CaCuS ….

5
Vazhipad
Tintumon ambalattil vazhipad counter Q vil.. Munnile uncle : shambhu, thiruvatira, paalppaayasam. Tintumon: Hans, break dance, chickenbiriyani…!

6
Pranayam

“Nashtappedam pakshe pranayikkathirikkaruth”-kamala surayya “Pranayikkam pakshe thalayil aavaruth”-TINTU MON

7
Tintu’s beach visit..
A man jumped into sea and never came out…. Nxt day, 2 men jumped into sea and never came out… Tintumon after watching this concluded that: MAN IS SOLUBLE IN WATER..!!

8
Tintu’s Temple Visit
Tintumon: The youth nowaday is getting Worse!! Friend: Y do u say that? Tintu: I was in Temple, When a Guy next to me lit a Cigarette from the Aarathi. I was Shocked and almost dropped my Beer Bottle!!

9
Strong Love
Tintumon to girlfriend:- “Theegolangal panju vannalum, Kodumkattu veeshi adichalum njan ninne swantham aakkum….. Girlfriend:- naale varumo chetta? Tintumon:- Nokkatte mazha illengil varam…

10
Professor
A professor to tintumon: “what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?” tintumon: “JIMBALAKDI BAMBA” professor: “i dont understand anything” tintumon: “same 2 you”

11
Sandwiches
One day tintumon went into a pub with his girlfriend Tintumol and after ordering two drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them. “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here,” complained the pub-owner. So they exchanged their sandwiches…!!

12
Similarity
Teacher: What is common between Gandhi, Budha, Krishna and Jesus…? Tintumon: They were all born on public holidays

13
New Boyfriend
Tintumon : My girl friend broke up with me and sent me pics of her with her new boy friend. Appukuttan : Really bad.. what did u do?? Tintumon : I sent that pics to her dad :)

14
SSLC
SSLC 10 vattam ezhuthi thotta Tintumon thante PEN, examination board nu ayachu koduthu.. Oppam oru kurippum: . . . . . . . . “Aayudham vechu keezhadangunnu!” :D

15
Group photo
Classinte Group photo eduthathinu sesham athu vangan kuttikale motivate cheyyunna teacher Teacher: Ningal ellavarum valuthayikkazhinjal ningal ee photo nokki santhoshikkum. Appol mathrame ningalkithinte vila ariyoo.. Oral parayum.. ithu ramu.. ivan innu doctor aanu.. ithu kuttan… ivan ippol americayilanu… Pinnilathe benchil ninnu Tintumon: Ithu teacher.. Iyal thattippoyi.

16
Sangathi
Achan:Ethenthaadaa nee 5 kilo ulli vangikkondu vannathu? Tintumon:Njaan naale pattu paadaan pokuvallai? Achan:Athinenthinaada ulli? Tintumon:Achan kettittillai Star Singeril sangathi ulleennu varanam eenu paranjathu..

17
Water
Teacher:What is the formula of water? Tintumon: H2MgClNaClHNO3CaCO3Ca(OH)2SnTnHg NiHCl(COOH)O Teacher:What is this? Tintumon: This is Corporation Water!

18
Techy Tintumon
Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking.. Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!

19
Mother!
Father to Tintumon: Why can you not think every woman as your mother? Tintumon: I can, but if i did so, what will people think of you?

20
Petrol
Friend: Entha ithra vegathil angottum ingottum odunnath? Tintumon: Brandiyanennu karuthi nhan petrol eduthukudichu. Athu oditheerkkukayanu!

21
Goa
Teacher:Tintumon,Where is your native place? TintuMon: checkoslovakia. Teacher:Tell me the spelling… (kure neram alochichathinu sesham tintumon) Tintumon:Patticheeee…….!!!!!! my native place is GOA..

22
Theater
Chicken Biriyani kazhichittu cinema kaanaan poya Tintumon veetil madangi vannu. Tintumon : “Ini orikalum cinema kanan chicken thinnittu kerilla” Didumol : “Enthu patti ?” Tintumon : “Vayattilulla kozhi vare koovi …”

23
Tintumon as god
Tintumon: appurathe veettukar enne daivamayitta kanunne. Amma: athu ninakkengane manassilayi? Tintumon: Njan avarude veetilekk chennappol avaru parayukaya…… “DAIVAME, NEE PINNEYUM VANNO…!!!”

24
Stupid
Tintumon went to his Dad’s Friend’s home late night. Uncle offered him to Sleep in Baby’s room. Tintumon refused because the Baby might Cry at Night and went to sleep in the drawing hall. Next morning he saw a Beautiful young Girl at the breakfast table, Tintumon : Who are you? The girl replied,”I am Baby and You??” Tintumon : I am a Stupid!!! :p

25
Dosa
Teacher: Name the liquid which changes to solid when heated Tintumon: Dosa

26
Tintumonoda kali
To be is to do(Socrates) To do is to be(Plato) To be or not to be(Shakespeare) Aaha angane vittal pattuo..Scoo be do be dooo(Tintu mon, LKG)……..

27
Sign Board
Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school. He wrote “Drive carefully! Don’t kill the students, wait for the teachers”

28
Exam
Achan: Exam inu nee thottal ini enney achaa ennu vilikkendaaa…. Kurach divasam kazhinju….. Achan: Enthayeda result??? Tintu mon:-Aliyaaa sorry daaa…..5 subject il potty machu!!

29
Sleep with dad
Tintu: Im sleep with dad last night Teacher corrects him: no..no..I slept with dad last night . . tintu: appo njan urangikazhinjayirikkum teacher vannath alle..?

30
Achante upadesham
Achan: Daivam thamburan Molinnu vilichal nammalellavarum ponam tintumone…. Tintumon: Daivam thamburan molinnu vilichal moli mathram poya pore acho…??

31
Mandan
Teacher: “Eee classil mandanmar undenkil ezhunnettu nilku” Aarum ezhunnettilla. 10 second kazhinjappol Tintumon ezhunnettu. Teacher: “Oho… Ne mandanano ?” Tintumon: “Teacher ottakku nilkunnathu kandappol sankadam thonni”

32
Motta
Teacher: Namukku motta tharunna ethenkilum 4 jeevikalude peru parayu? Tintumon jumped and said: “Physics miss English miss Maths miss Social miss!!”

33
Tintumon’s Diary
14-11-2009: Nhan avalod oru poo chodichu. Aval oru poochedi thannu. 15-11-2009: Avalod oru page chodichu. Aval oru book thannu. 16-11-2009: Avalod oru umma chodichu. Umma mathramalla……. uppayum angalamarum koodi nallonam thannu……

34
Chandranil vellamundu
Vartha..” Chandranil vellamundu-ISRO” TINTUMON: pedikkenda, athu pandu NEIL ARMSTRONG kulichappo oorivacha mundaayirikum… edukkan marannu kanum!!!

35
Cigarette
Achante munpil ninnu cigaratte valikunna tintumonodu achan. “Enthada ithu ? Achante munpil ninnano cigarette valikunnathu ? ” Tintumonte cool marupadi – “Achanalle … petrol pump onnum allallo ! “

36
Tintumon in classroom
Classil urangunna tintumonod Teacher: uushmav alakkunna upakaranam etha? Tintumon: Chatukam Teacher: nhan entha chodichath? Tintumon: uppumav ilakkunna upakaranamalle teacher….

37
Puli
Tintumon went to forest with his friend , pettenne oru puli munnil chaaady.!! friend puliyude kannil mannu variyittu. Friend: oodikko?? Tintumon: njan ethina odunne nee alle mannu vaary ittathu..!!!

38
Red Beautiful
Teacher: nigalude achande name englishil parayamo? Tintumon: RED BEUTIFUL UNDERWEAR Teacher: Appol,Entha Achande Sharikula name Tintumon: SUDERLAL SHETTI

39
PTA meeting
Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school tomorrow….. Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ? Tintumon: its… just u, me & the Principal !

40
Traffic sign board
Teacher : entha classil ethan vaikiyathu? Tintumon: Traffic sign board kaaranam. Teacher : Enthu sign board? Tintumon : road side il ezuthi vachathu “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

41
Indicator
caril pokunna achan tintumonod:”indicator kathunnundo?onnu nokku” tintumon:”undu…illa…undu… illa…undu…illa…undu…illa… undu…illa…”

42
Medical shop
Tintumon in medical shop Tintumon:- chetta! chumakulla oru marunnu tha. Shopkeeper:- tonikkano? Tintumon:- ‘Tony’kalla ente ammakkaa…

43
Rajesh
Tintumon: a rajesh enne thalli,ini thaliyal njan shemichu enu varilla Achan: nee mashodu paranjille? Tintu: Hmmm…………avan thanneyanu ee rajesh!

44
Revenge
Achan: eda tintuve…..nhan ninne vazhaku parayumbol ninaku feel aaville..appol nee ninte vishamom mattan enthu cheyum ? Tintumon: njan veetile toilet nallapole vrithi aakum Achan: athu kond ninte vishmom engane marana?? Tintumon: Nhan Toilet vrithi aakunath Achante toothbrush kond aanu!!!

45
Good News
Tintumon : Achaa,Oru santhosha vaartha undu! Achan : Entha ? Tintumon : Achan Paranjille njan ee thavanthe exams enkilum pass aayaal enikku 1000 Rs tharaamennu !!!! Achan : Uvvu !!! Tintumon : Achante 1000 rs poyitilla….happy aayeelle…?

46
Auto
Autoyil ninnirangiya tintumon:ethrayayi Driver:100 roopa tintu mon 50 roopa koduthu,appol choodaya driver:ivide vare sughich irunnallo ennit 50 roopayo Tintu:thaanum ivide vare sughich irunnathalle,thante paisa enthina njan tharunnath

47
Chemistry Class
Teacher : What is “Al2 O3 ? Ramu : Alumina. Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3 ? Tintumon : “Filomina”

48
Tintumonte Kalyanam
Tintumon: Njan ninte veetil poyirunnu,nammude kalyanam nadakkumennu thonnunnilla … Tintumol :Endha, Achane kando ? Tintumon: illa, ninte aniyathiye kandu.

49
Tintumon and bus conductor
Bus Cunductor: Why are you standing near the door, is your father a watchman? Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “Chillara”, Is your father a Beggar ??

50
Tintumonte Budhi
Vakkyathil Prayogikkuka “Kriyathmagam” Tintumon: Teacher classil Kriyathmagam enna vakkinte artham chodhichappol aarum onnum mindiyilla… !!! Tintumonoda Kali…

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