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Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as

"sacred space" or "Sacred Temple." In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is particularly important for men to learn. Before beginning the Yoni Massage it is important to create a space for the woman (the receiver) in which to relax, from which she can more easily enter a state of high arousal and experience great pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) will experience the joy of giving pleasure and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of "safe sex" and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma. The goal of the Yoni massage is not solely to achieve orgasm, although orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal can be as simple as to pleasure and massage the Yoni. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and do not have to worry about achieving any particular goal. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return, but simply allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself.

The Massage
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to breathe deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or begins to take shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is most important. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to encourage the receiver to relax and for the

giver to prepare for touching her Yoni. Pour a small quantity of a highquality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver should tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc. need to be increased or decreased. Limit your conversation and focus on the pleasurable sensation, too much talking will diminish the effect.

The Crown Jewel
The clitoris is an amazingly complex structure, similar in function to the male's glans, but surprisingly - up to four times more sensitive. The glans portion of the clitoris holds 6,000 - 8,000 sensory nerve endings, more than any other structure in the human body. This hypersensitive node has only one purpose: pleasure. Nothing exceeds its ability to receive and transmit sensations of touch, pressure or vibration. The glans are "crown jewel" of the clitoral system! Stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counterclockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to relax and breathe. Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. It is important to remember that this is a massage in which you are nurturing and relaxing the Yoni. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, "the sacred spot". She may feel the need to urinate, experience a little discomfort or most hopefully pleasure. Vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can

move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky. Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well. An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. [In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is gently massaging her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni and your thumb on her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand."] You can use your left hand to massage her breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use the thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of the hand resting on, and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. Continue massaging, using varying speed, pressure and motion, all the while continuing to breathe deeply and looking into each other's eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Some women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of immeasurable value to her. If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave." In ending the massage, slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to relax and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.

Although the Yoni appears in many forms, colors and sizes these images
are just one example of its often under appreciated delicate beauty. To enlarge please click on each particular image.

We gratefully acknowledge the artistry of Bob Thornberg for these exquisite creations.

The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam and is loosely
translated as "Wand of Light." In Tantra or Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honored, as a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure. Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it can be a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (prostate) externally, allowing the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be accustomed to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage. Men need to learn to relax and receive. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective.

Beginning the Massage
Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation. Pour a small quantity of oil on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take time when massaging the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull up and slide off, then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then sliding down and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands.

Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body. It is believed that many ailments may be cured by a good Lingam massage. The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum. If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. It is important to remember that the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life.

The Sacred Spot
Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger midway between the testicles and anus. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may be uncomfortable at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand. Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. The man may have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment. You, the giver, are creating a place of trust and intimacy.

Ending the Massage
When he feels complete (with the massage), gently remove your hands cover him and keep him warm. Most importantly, allow him to rest quietly for at least five to ten minutes.

Although it is rarely considered or appreciated, the face down position is
perhaps best for massaging the female body. This is not to imply that the front should be neglected, only that the back should be paid more attention. Why is the back so important? There are two primary reasons. The first is simply a design of nature. In the natural world males always approach (and join) with the female from the rear. Evolution has designed the female genitalia to be entered from the rear, as opposed to the face to face, western "missionary" position. Nerve endings of the female genitalia are genetically arranged to be most responsive from the rear. The inside of the thighs and labial lips are more sensitive to touch, when stroked from the rear (as opposed to the front). Some would argue that face to face intercourse is more intense and fulfilling. This may be true on a purely emotional level, even without optimizing the physiological connection. It's simply a matter of which is more important, the mind or the body. During love making the mind is often capable of reaching significantly higher levels than the physical being. Another reason that massage from the back may have an advantage, is that a woman often feel more comfortable and relaxed, as her body is less exposed. The feeling of the "face down" position is conducive in fostering a sense of well being, which in turn makes it easier for the woman to "let herself go". A carefully arranged and nurturing atmosphere is essential to achieving the greatest possible pleasure. Plan on at least one hour (at a very minimum) of completely undisturbed and uninterrupted time. The

massage can be conducted on a reasonably firm bed; a platform design is still better. The room should be warm and draft free. A significant amount of oil (1-3 oz.) should be expended during the massage. Always keep in mind that you can never apply too much oil. Do not spare the oil, lavish it! Use only specially formulated massage oils [we use citrus scented water soluble grape-seed oil in our studio]. A wide range of scents are available, of which the most pleasing should be selected. Be sure to arrange a number of bath size towels to protect the bedding from the excess oil. Soothing music and candlelight will greatly enhance the atmosphere. Turning off the telephone is absolutely essential! Prior to the massage, it may be desirable to take a short shower, as opposed to a hot bath. A bath often tends to loosen the outermost layer of skin, which when waterlogged will shed (creating gritty particles) and interfere with the massage.

Beginning the massage
Instruct the receiver lay face down; her face resting either on her own crossed forearms or a flat pillow. You (the giver) will be seated on the edge of the bed or platform. The receiver's midsection may be covered with a towel, for the purpose of warmth and modesty [depending on the depth of your relationship]. Begin the massage by exposing the receiver's shoulders and neck. Pour a liberal amount of oil into the palm of your hand, and rub both hands together vigorously so as to warm the hands as well as the oil. Avoid pouring the oil directly onto the skin, unless it has been previously heated. Although you are performing a sensual massage, the pressure you exert may be firm enough to have some therapeutic value. Be sure to use sufficient pressure so as not to tickle the receiver. Most particularly the neck, shoulders, arms, hands, back, buttocks and legs. The genital region will require the least pressure and the greatest sensitivity. The massage should be performed in a radiating manner... neck and shoulders, arms and hands, individual fingers, back, thighs, calves, feet and toes. As the receiver becomes progressively more relaxed, the towel covering her waist may be removed. The buttocks may now be massaged in a circular motion, followed by long vertical strokes beginning at the waist and ending at mid thigh. Each stroke moving progressively further inside the thigh, toward the labial lips.

Alternately stroke the base of the crease between the buttocks, brushing along the anus (rosebud). After stroking the rosebud, allow your hand to glide down to the labia. This should be repeated in an up and down motion (from above the rosebud to the labia and back up again). Do not penetrate the anus or vagina during this phase of the massage. Position the receiver's legs somewhat apart. Too wide is not necessary. Gently grasp and stroke the labial lips with your fingers. After the lubrication seeping from the receiver's vaginal opening becomes more evident, begin to stroke the clitoral hood. If the clitoris is already exposed and swollen, begin to rub it directly, using the pads of two fingers (index and pointer). Be very careful not scratch with your fingernails! Vary the amount of stimulation to clitoris, through speed and pressure. Ask the receiver which she prefers. The answer may vary from one individual to another. As her level of excitement grows begin gently reach into her vagina [which should be quite open at this point] and massage sides of the vaginal opening. You may continue to stimulate the clit with the pad of your thumb. Or you might massage her rosebud with the pad of your thumb, while twirling the clit with two other fingers. Do not enter her anus unless she desires this. In which case it is recommended to use a latex glove, to be sure that there is no possibility of irritating this most sensitive area (even short and well manicured fingernails may cause discomfort). After becoming aroused some women may reflexively begin to raise their pelvis, by pulling in their knees closer to their chest. This position not only raises their rear end, but further exposes the clit, vaginal opening and rosebud. Caressing and stroking these magical elements simultaneously, or alternately can produce a virtually endless cycle of orgasms.

“Amrita” …meaning nectar of the goddess. A liquid most treasured and revered in ancient Tantric literature. What exactly does it mean? Even modern medicine isn’t exactly sure, much less in agreement. There is a

good deal of mythology surrounding the biological reality of what has been only recently termed as “female ejaculation”. The primary source of much erroneous information about the nature of female ejaculation seems to be attributable to those who seek to sensationalize and exploit this relatively unexplored phenomenon, while others have been overly gullible in accepting purely anecdotal evidence. It's widely believed that there is a female counterpart to the male prostate; technically known as “Skene’s” glands. Just as the male prostate, the ducts from these glands empty into the urethral canal. The liquid produced by the Skene’s glands is not urine, but a thin clear fluid containing glucose and prostatic acid. This chemical makeup is much more similar to semen (without sperm), than it is to urine. During sexual arousal the Skene’s glands may be stimulated in a way as to release secretions into the urethral canal. These secretions are ultimately expelled through the urethral opening (just as in male ejaculation). This fluid "release" is entirely unrelated to “vaginal” secretions, who’s primary, but not exclusive purpose is the lubrication of the vagina. While there have been numerous claims of vast quantities of liquid expelled during ejaculation, all fail to offer a biologically compelling explanation as to the source, or reservoir used to store or produce such copious supplies of juices. Skene’s glands are smaller in size than the male prostate, and it would only seem logical to assume that the amount of “ejaculate” would be commensurate. Regardless of the true quantity, it is a fact, that it is possible for some women to expel (or ejaculate) prostatic fluid.

Where is this mysterious gland?
The Skene’s gland is embedded in the wall of the urethra, and can be indirectly felt through the upper vaginal wall, 2- 3” from the entrance of the vagina. Using the pads of one or more fingers, it can best be identified as area of ridges. The center of this ridged surface, about the size of a dime to half dollar, is known as the Graffenberg spot or G-spot. In some women this may be more noticeable than others, particularly when in an un-aroused state. During arousal the G-spot (which is made of erectile tissue) fills with blood and swells to 2-3 times it’s normal size. After arousal it is usually more easily identified and stimulated. Not all women are sensitive to stimulation or find it pleasurable. Since indirect pressure is applied to

the bladder, some woman will feel the sensation to urinate. Breaking this psychological barrier makes it possible for some women to expel prostatic fluid, as a direct result of simultaneous stimulation of the G-spot and muscle contractions surrounding the urethra. For a woman seeking to stimulate this area on her own, it would be advisable to do so in a squatting position. The theory being that humans having evolved from quadrupeds, a female’s sexual organs are biologically better designed for entry from the rear Unlike the currently widely accepted missionary position (face to face), rear entry has the advantage of exerting more direct pressure and stimulation onto the Gspot, by the penis. Secondly there is a greater chance of outward ejaculation (by the female), since the urethral canal is not compressed in a way as to inhibit the flow of fluid out of the urethral opening. Although the ability of the female to ejaculate depends on a number of factors, it must be recognized that it is not for everyone. Just as many men are not receptive to prostate stimulation, many women are not sensitive to, or do not necessarily enjoy G-spot stimulation.

For those who desire to pursue the experience,
should be considered as essential for success.
• • •

the following points

Locating the G-spot [see illustration) The ability to derive pleasurable sensations from G-spot massage. Overcoming the fear of urinating, during arousal and G-spot stimulation. Emptying the bladder immediately prior to experience, since most women fear that they will urinate as soon as they relax their PC muscles. This will allow the woman to relax (or “let go”) and ejaculate. Assure that the urethral tract not unduly pressured; compressing the urethra may result in the emptying of ejaculate directly into the bladder (as opposed to the urethral opening).

The art of pleasuring one's partner has been discussed in great detail
throughout this website. Combining these experiences can result in a geometric progression over each individual technique. Creating the proper space is essential to achieving the most perfect result: As with most other tantric techniques it’s best performed on a stable and firm surface. While a bed is generally too soft, a yoga or exercise mat (large enough for two) will work quite well. The room itself should be comfortably warm (when naked) and draft free. A few candles will serve nicely for the purpose of intimate illumination. A pre-programmed selection of inspirational mood music will help to complete the atmosphere. A dish of high quality massage oil (or two individual dispensers) should be within easy reach, as well as two latex gloves and jellied water based lubricant. Seating Positions: There are a variety of ways the couple may decide to sit. Regardless of your choice there are two considerations of equal importance in making that decision: comfort and easy accessibility. Since you can expect to remain in the selected position for more than a short length of time, you must be certain that the position is not awkward for you. This may take some experimentation in the beginning. Just as important as comfort will be an easy accessibility to your partners body, particularly the genital area. One position which perhaps offers the best compromise, is to sit cross legged from one another. If desirable one partner may use the back of a couch or wall to support their back. You may use flat firm pillows to sit on (in addition to the floor mat) and to help support your back. Remember, comfort is essential to achieving the perfect experience!

Beginning the massage: It's usually best for one partner to begin by
stroking the other, after which the roles are reversed. During this early phase the sensual massage should be limited in its intensity, with no more than incidental contact to the genitals. The primary purpose is to gradually elevate the feeling of desire and excitement within each partner. The couple should spend at least 10 – 15 minutes stroking one another is this manner. After the couple becomes sufficiently aroused (warmed up), each partner will now begin to shift their focus onto the genital area of the other. If for example the female is the giver she will begin to perform lingam massage on her partner. If the male is the giver he will perform yoni massage.

[Same sex couples would be performing either mutual yoni or lingam massage]. While pleasuring one another the couple should attempt to make as much eye contact with one another as possible. This may be difficult as each partner may be distracted by the erotic vision of their own, as well as their partner's genitals being stimulated. Although it may not seem fair, but the female will need to assume responsibility for her male partners level of excitement (ejaculation control). It is essential that she not wait for her partner to make it known verbally that he is about to climax. The female does not have the same problem as she is free to orgasm as many times as she likes.

The ultimate experience:

Those who seek a yet higher level of excitement and unique pleasure, may consider simultaneous anal and lingam/yoni massage.

Momentarily stopping mutual massage, each member will slip on one latex glove (which should already be within reach). Jellied lubricant should now be generously applied to the index or middle finger of each gloved hand. It's desirable that each partner begins to simultaneously rub, and gently probe the other's anus. The couple should continue to maintain eye contact with one another. The emotional sensation, as well as physical impact of this experience is nothing short of profound. The very idea and new found sensation, of fondling one another’s anal opening is quite indescribable. It may take time and patience, but even a reluctant sphincter will allow a loving probing finger to enter. The anus may exhibit the somewhat schizophrenic tendency of pulling and pushing the intruding finger, all at the same time. Not certain of embarrassing or rejecting it. In time the finger will be “allowed” to enter. After this happens do not begin pull it in and out, but only feel your way around this new environment. The female partner should be crooking her finger in order to contact her partner's prostate, using the pad of her finger to gently massage the protruding surface. Begin to resume mutual genital massage. Each partner will vividly notice the other's anal contractions. When the female senses the male's impending climax, she may simply reduce stimulation to the lingam (while pressuring the prostate with her inserted finger). Alternatively, she may allow the male reach his climax, with a possibility of timing the event with her own orgasm. The result will be more intense than anything the couple has ever experienced.

Any man can become "multi-orgasmic". It only requires a basic
understanding of male sexuality and certain techniques. Most men’s sexuality is focused on the goal of ejaculating, rather than on the actual process of lovemaking. Once a man becomes multi-orgasmic he will not only be able to better satisfy himself, but also more effectively satisfy his partner. Technically, multiple orgasms occur in succession, without complete loss of sexual arousal in between. Women are blessed with the ability to have multiple orgasms. Not many are aware that men with proper training, can actually do the same. In the case of women, multiple orgasm means resuming sexual stimulation shortly after a first orgasmic climax, usually immediately or within a few minutes, so that a second climax may be reached. If the woman does indeed experience further climaxes during the same sexual encounter, she is said to be multi-orgasmic. Most men mistakenly believe that being able to regain their erection as soon as possible after ejaculation and reaching another climax within some arbitrary period of time qualifies as being multi-orgasmic. This is false because the true multi-orgasmic male does not lose his erection between orgasms. Multiple male orgasms include only orgasm and not ejaculation. The only exception being, when ejaculation accompanies the final orgasm in a multi-orgasmic experience. Before continuing it would be important to better understand the technical process involved in the " Sexual Arousal Cycle" * 1. Excitement Phase
• • • • •

Vasocongestion Erection Increased heart rate Partial testicular elevation and size increase (Tumescence) Nipple erection

2. Plateau Phase

• • • • •

Further increase in penis tip size and testicles Full testicular elevation Purple hue on corona (although not always) Cowper’s gland (pre-cum) secretions Hyperventilation

3. Orgasm Phase (Consists of Emission & Ejaculation) Emission

• •

Sperm and fluid are expelled from the vas deferens, seminal vesicles and prostate gland, causing seminal fluid fluid to collect at the base of the urethral bulb near the prostate. Myotonia – muscular rigidity just before the release tension Blood pressure and respiratory rate increase further.

Ejaculatory Inevitability (point of no return) There is a consciousness of imminent ejaculation. Ejaculation
• • •

Bladder sphincter closes tightly Rhythmic contractions of the prostate, perinial muscles and penile shaft propel semen outward. A slight clouding of consciousness

4. Resolution Phase
• • • •

Erection loss Testes descend and scrotum thins Reversal in myotonia and vasocongestion Reduced heart rate and lowered blood pressure.

Multiple orgasms versus Ejaculatory orgasms
Both begin in the same way, moving from arousal until a point near ejaculation or "point of no return". At this point a man will experience a series of genital contractions lasting three to five seconds. These contractions are "pelvic orgasms" and at first feel like a "fluttering" or mild release of pressure. Once identified and controlled, these sensations will become progressively more intense. When approaching "the point of no return" the goal is not to crest over into ejaculation but to decrease stimulation, just long enough to gain

control over the arousal rate. Effective control can be achieved by squeezing the PC muscles. Learning to control the PC muscles is essential to sexual health and stamina. In the diagram below, the plateau stage is represented roughly as a heightened state of arousal which will eventually lead into orgasm if stimulation is allowed to continue. Notice how the two charts differ. In a typical singular orgasm including ejaculation, the plateau phase is reached and passed fairly quickly as the orgasm subsides and ejaculation occurs. In a multiple orgasmic encounter, the plateau phase is reached and sustained after the initial orgasm and between the next orgasm. The successive orgasms are also slightly stronger than the previous ones, if and when the man decides to ejaculate with the final orgasm. Ejaculation is optional, after several orgasms it may be decided not to ejaculate at all. In which case, the arousal pattern closely follows that of a woman and gradually declines over about an hour's time instead of declining very sharply after ejaculation.

How is multiple orgasm possible?
The male and female sexual "response cycles" are strikingly similar. The primary difference between the two is male ejaculation. Multi-orgasmic women are able to have successive orgasms if stimulation is resumed shortly after the first orgasm because they do not ejaculate (not withstanding reports that some women are able to ejaculate, as this has never been adequately scientifically explained). Ejaculation initiates the refractory period in males. During this time, most men are unable to achieve another erection or even receive further stimulation due to the loss of sexual tension and the penis is usually too sensitive to touch. Since women are not biologically programmed to ejaculate, they do not have this annoying feature and are able to learn about and achieve multiple orgasms much easier than men. The first key to understanding how men can have multiple orgasms is to understand that orgasm and ejaculation are distinct events, which one can learn to distinguish and separate. Most men have always accepted orgasm and ejaculation as one in the same because they happen in such rapid succession, orgasm beginning slightly before (ejaculation) then tapering off during ejaculation.

The second key to navigating the path to multiple orgasm is gaining the ability to separate orgasm and ejaculation. The ability to separate these events involves the pubococcygeal muscle, or pelvic floor muscle, or "PC muscle" as it’s more commonly known. You may know this muscle for its ability to stop the flow of urine in midstream. If stopping the flow is difficult, you have a weak PC muscle. If this is the case you will need to work on strengthening the PC muscle before you'll be able to have multiple orgasms. If you squeeze or contract the PC muscle you should feel like everything deep in your pelvis is being drawn upward.

Breathing Exercises
• • • •

Sit in a comfortable position relaxing the shoulders. Place hands on the abdomen, just below the belly button. Inhale deeply. Breathing deeply through the nose, so that the belly pushes out. Exhale fully. Exhale to a point to a point of which the belly contracts back to the spine. The pelvis and testicles may feel as if they are pulling up slightly. Repeat this exercise from 9 to 36 times.

Preparing yourself
Having multiple orgasms as a male is pretty remarkable, but it will take a great deal of preparation. As mentioned earlier, one of the first steps is to discover the PC muscle. It’s essential to become intimately familiar with this muscle in order to learn to control it very precisely. Some of this control will come with experience, but most will come by strengthening it through regular exercise. Once it’s been discovered where it is (most easily while urinating), it can be exercised anywhere, without anyone knowing.

Practicing
• • •

You can begin experimenting on your own at first (while masturbating). Make yourself comfortable and then begin masturbating as you might normally. Stop just before you reach the point of no return (the point where you would ejaculate). Contract (squeeze) and hold your PC muscle for a count of ten.

• • •

Allow yourself relax and take a few minutes break. Begin masturbating again, this time bringing yourself just a bit closer to the point of no return, again contracting your PC muscle. Continue masturbating while paying very special attention to your own state of arousal and emotional feelings. The key here is to learn more about your own sexual response so that down the road you'll be more in control of it.

Stopping "right" before ejaculation
Continue masturbating, except this time, keep going until you reach orgasm. Right as you orgasm you should notice several contractions that signal the beginning of ejaculation in the base of your penis and perhaps even deeper inside your pelvis. As these contractions begin or preferably just before (but still during the orgasm), stop all stimulation to the penis and squeeze the PC muscle tight. You'll probably feel yourself trying to ejaculate, but hold it back! Squeezing your PC muscle effectively shuts off your ejaculation, if you are successful, and erases the refractory period. A small amount semen may seep out, but not with any of the force you might normally experience during an unrestrained singular orgasm. If you were able to hold off ejaculating after your orgasm, start masturbating again now. It should feel as though you are still very aroused, not like you just ejaculated. You should be able to continue for a short time until you have another orgasm. If you were unable to keep from ejaculating the first time, either your PC muscle isn't strong enough yet or you squeezed it at the wrong time. If you begin squeezing too late after the ejaculatory contractions have already begun, it is nearly impossible to shut stop the process completely. With practice you will learn the timing.

Partnering
There are many possible techniques you can use to greatly increase your success in becoming multi-orgasmic. Perhaps the greatest technique you can practice is to share your experiences in becoming a multi-orgasmic man with your romantic partner. If you are eventually successful, this can be a wonderful opportunity for you to significantly increase the pleasure you both receive during lovemaking.

Overcoming problems
Undoubtedly the biggest obstacle most men will report when trying to become multi-orgasmic is failure to squeeze their PC muscle sufficiently during orgasm to ward off ejaculation. You may feel some contractions, but do not stop squeezing at this point because a few ejaculatory contractions are likely even if you are successful in eventually stopping them. If you are successful, the contractions will stop before you ejaculate and you should be able to resume stimulation without a loss of sensitivity, as would be present during the refractory period after ejaculation. Another common problem many men may report with these techniques is failing to determine exactly where the boundaries of plateau, orgasm, and ejaculation begin and end. If you cannot determine the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, a key to becoming multi-orgasmic, you can only succeed by accident and not intentionally. Some men may try to stimulate themselves very quickly and rigorously, and this is not the best way to become aware of your personal level of sexual awareness. Taking the stimulation slower rather than faster will allow you to discover your personal boundaries between arousal, plateau, and orgasm more easily. With these discoveries you will have a much greater chance of learning when to squeeze your PC muscle, when to stop stimulation, and when to relax your PC muscle and resume stimulation to experience another orgasm. Pelvic pressure after arousal. Pressure in the pelvic area is a natural result of increased blood flow into the genital area. If the level of this pressure is uncomfortable, it will be helpful to breathe deeply, elevate the lower extremities and massage the perineum and testicles lightly. This will help the body assimilate the energy from the testicles to the rest of the body. It would be best also to stay in a reclined position for 5 - 10 minutes.

Other Benefits
It is quite possible that if you have other sexual problems such as premature ejaculation, learning to become multi-orgasmic will help you tremendously during lovemaking. Not only will you be able to greatly prolong the session by suppressing ejaculation until you choose, but you will be free to release your worries and anxiety and focus more on pleasing your partner. The list of positive effects can be nearly endless!

Age

Some men may wonder if age can have any effect on the chances of success in becoming multi-orgasmic. There's no reason why sexually mature men of all ages shouldn't see the same high rate of success, assuming they are sexually active and have a high level of personal sexual awareness. If you have no trouble reaching singular orgasms either by yourself or with a partner, then learning how to become multi-orgasmic may only be a matter of patience, determination, and effort. If you do have trouble having singular orgasms or opening up sexually with yourself and your partner, however, then perhaps there are other issues that you need to deal with before multiple orgasms will be a possibility for you. This guide is not prepared to address any problems with orgasms beyond the relatively simple matters discussed in this section. If you are experiencing more serious problems, please consider consulting your healthcare provider or a therapist. They should be able to provide you with the professional advice that we are not equipped to handle.

Ancient Ideas
The concept of being a multi-orgasmic male is not new at all. Ancient Chinese philosophers called Taoists, have known about this and many other profound sexual concepts and practices thousands of years ago. Many of these sexual secrets remain surprisingly unknown, even now in the age of sexual awareness and liberation. Despite the fact that during the 1940s and 1950s several sex researchers in the West studied and confirmed the ability of males to experience multiple orgasms. Even at present, the amount of sexual ignorance, misdirection, and confusion is astonishing.

In Closing
The bottom line is that your ability to have multiple orgasms depends on your overall sexual awareness, and the strength and control of your PC muscle among many other factors. As with all noteworthy achievements, this is not something that can necessarily be accomplished all at once. While reading this guide and having multiple orgasms in one night is certainly possible, you should understand that it could take several weeks or even months before you succeed. Your results will depend on your own personal effort and determination.

* The preceding text includes certain references from Masters & Johnson

The Tantric massage will make you feel as if you are in a trance, where physical boundaries dissolve, time disappears, worries and problems no longer seem important, or are forgotten altogether.
We will begin by having you recline on your back with pillows under your head and a towel covered pillow supporting your hips. Your legs will be slightly apart, your knees just a little bent. Your abdomen, thighs, feet, toes, chest, nipples and fingers are then gently massaged with warm aromatic oil. Nothing will escape attention. Your energy flow is stimulated and senses awakened as your body's sensitivity increases. According to Tantric ideals, your entire body will be massaged, including those particularly sensitive areas [for a more detailed explanation, click on "Lingam" or "Yoni" massage below]. Perceptions of sensuality and lust are located here, but these "intimate" areas are an important source of joy in life. You will feel relaxed, yet wide awake. You will be coached to breathe properly, as you sink into yet deeper level of relaxation. In this very loving ceremony you will be completely nurtured and pampered in the arms of your goddess, giving you a feeling of comfort and sense of well-being.

At first blush it seems a simple proposition. Anyone can do it. However, the reality can be as different as “chopsticks” is to a Brahms concerto. A “stick figure” compared to a to a Vermeer painting.
The male body must first be understood before it may be played in the same manner as a virtuoso commands a musical instrument. Unfortunately real “most” women have only marginal or little understanding of the male anatomy. The inevitable ineptitude often produces sour notes. [The same can be said about men and their level of appreciation for the female body; but this is another subject entirely.] The problem stems from the fact that male and female genitalia are so completely different from one another. Understandably, the result is that it’s difficult for a woman to know how to best touch a man. Despite the fact that a woman’s clitoris is something of counterpart to a man’s penis, stimulating each to the pinnacle of arousal and pleasure involve quite different techniques. This circumstance results in a host of faulty assumptions, guesswork and experimentation. While some women may mimic the techniques they might have seen in “Blue” movies, others may attempt to refer to what they’ve read in a range of publications. Ultimately the majority simply proceed by trial and error, in the hope that their partners response will serve as a guide. The drawback with this methodology is that many men are not able to effectively communicate their desires verbally or may be embarrassed to make use of “show & tell". Quite a few men may not even be aware of the most effective techniques themselves. Not surprisingly the majority of men feel that women aren't skilled at handling penises. Specific complaints range from grips that are too limp, to lack conviction and exuberance. Women seem hesitant to apply pressure, and often pull or tug at inappropriate moments; continuously disrupting the all important rhythm. Often women have little sense of how to control the ebb and flow of orgasmic sensations. A woman’s hands are capable of amazing erotic pleasuring, much more than most anyone can imagine. It’s little appreciated that this is an acquired talent. Subtle techniques, the male genitalia as well as adjacent erotic zones must first be understood... continue to:

The G-Spot or Sacred Spot of a man is his prostate gland. Tantric
philosophy considers the G-Spot a man's emotional sex center. Massaging the man's prostate releases tremendous amounts of emotional and physical stress. Coupled with stimulation of his penis or "lingam", massaging his prostate can be extremely pleasurable and healing to the man. Since the most direct way to massage the man's Sacred Spot is through his anus, it takes time to adjust to being penetrated in this way. It is not for every man. The benefits are many and the pleasure can be very intense. For tantric partners, lovers or those otherwise genuinely comfortable with one another, massaging the sacred spot can be a powerful experience. Not only in terms of ecstatic pleasure for the "receiver", but in the sexual empowerment it bestows on the "giver".

The walnut sized prostate gland is located directly underneath the bladder, not far from the internal root of the penis (see diagram). As can be seen, the gland is in close proximity to the rectal wall, allowing for easy access through the anus.

Why is prostate massage pleasurable?
Ejaculation reflex sensation

There are number of reasons:

No matter which method is used it is not possible to touch the prostate directly. The nearest indirect access is through the rectal wall, which means that there is still a membrane in the way. This is somewhat akin to the inhibiting sensitivity a glove. Despite this restriction the lobes of the prostrate are highly sensitive to pressure. An array of sensations may be produced by pressing, rubbing or by means of stroking the gland through the rectal wall. The most profound of these feelings is similar to that sublime sensation which is normally felt during ejaculation, as the prostate begins pumping semen. Anal sensitivity

Along with the genital areas, the anus is connected to and interwoven with millions of delicately sensitive nerve endings, which can yield most pleasurable sensations. Hidden penis Unknown to most, over one third of the penis is buried inside the body. It is the base of the (hidden) penis which may be pressured in a similar manner as the prostate. The effect of stimulating all three can be awesome, if done in concert with genital stimulation. Still more overwhelming than the physiological effects is the psychological aspect of prostate massage, due to the unaccustomed nature of penetration of the receiver. Psychological high As powerful as physiological stimulation might be, it pales when compared to the immeasurably greater psychological or mental high. The very notion of the male placing himself into such a vulnerable position, results in a powerful mental rush, for both receiver as well giver. The willingness of the naturally controlling male to allow himself to placed in an unaccustomed submissive role, should be particularly cherished by the giver.

Preparation As in any intimate activity, certain basic rules apply. The receiver should be meticulously clean. The giver should have available form fitting latex surgical gloves (not the loose fitting variety). It's desirable for a number of reasons to use gloves, of which the first and foremost benefit is to protect the delicate anal membranes from sharp fingernails and rough skin. Secondly, a well lubricated rubber surface will glide more easily than naked skin. Lubrication should be water based, such as K-Y jelly. Taking a hot bath or shower prior to the massage is a good way to relax. While bathing the receiver will find it pleasurable to begin to fanaticize in anticipation of the experience to come. Positions

Face to face (for greater intimacy) While completely naked, the receiver should assume a seated position; his back reclined and supported by large firm pillows (at about a 45 - 65 degree angle). His knees pulled in the direction of his chest and somewhat angled outward. The resulting position should be both comfortable for the receiver, as well as allowing the giver unobstructed view and unfettered access to the anus and genitals of the receiver. The giver may sit cross legged, or kneel in front of the receiver. As a way to relax the receiver, the giver may begin by massaging the receivers lower extremities, particularly the abdomen. Initially, the receiver may choose to relax by closing his eyes, but as the massage progresses it is of great importance that the receiver and giver maintain eye contact. It will be up to the giver to decide when the receiver is sufficiently relaxed and aroused. At this time the giver should unobtrusively slip on a glove and to begin lubricating the receivers anus. The lubrication process should be lengthy and ceremonial. Beginning with circular motions, stroking the anal opening. The objective is to pleasure and relax the nervous rosebud. The giver should "never" poke the anus with the tip of the finger, but to gently and firmly apply pressure with the pad of the finger. Continuously add lubrication; there can never be too much lubrication! When the anus is ready it will allow the finger to enter. All that is needed is time and patience. Remarkably, when the moment comes the giver will notice that the finger will seem to be drawn into the anus. Once the finger has been allowed to enter it is best to be still allowing the anal sphincters the chance to become accustomed to the intrusion. It will not be a good idea for the giver to move their finger in and out of the anus. There should only be one reason for the giver to remove the finger, and this would be to add more lubrication.

The giver is now ready to seek out the prostate: this can easily accomplished by crooking the inserted finger upwards, and feeling for a "roundish" to oblong protrusion about 2 inches inside the rectum. Applying pressure to the prostate will provide a variety of sensations, the most desirable of which is the feeling of impending ejaculation. By applying more or less pressure to the gland, the giver will be able to control these sensations; even to the point of inhibiting the receiver from ejaculating. The ability to control ejaculation through prostate massage, allows for nearly unending stimulation of the receiver's genitals. The penis may be massaged by the giver, or by receiver himself, to a point of near ejaculation. Only to be kept on the brink by varying pressure on the prostate. During the arousal cycle the giver may begin to rhythmically move the inserted finger partially in and out, so as to stimulate the rich and super sensitive nerve endings around the anus. Eye contact is most desirable at the resolution phase of the experience, with the receiver and giver gazing into one another's eyes… various scenarios are now possible: A. The giver will allow the receiver to masturbate himself to achieve ejaculating. All the while the giver will be verbally encouraging the receiver to the moment of climax. B. The giver may masturbate the receiver's penis with one hand, while massaging the receivers anal opening or prostate with the other. Both giver and receiver should communicate intently, so as to allow the greatest pleasure for the receiver. C. The receiver may desire for the giver to “milk” his prostate, without direct stimulation to the penis. To achieve this the giver will gently stroke each lobe, resulting in a gentle flow of semen and the emptying of the prostate through the erect or flaccid penis.

Facing "away" from the giver (a magnificent view for the giver) In this position the receiver will be kneeling, knees apart, buttocks elevated, while the elbows are resting on a firm surface, such as a cushioned floor matt. This should be both a stable and comfortable position for the receiver. The giver may kneel or sit spread legged behind the receiver, having easy access and a perfect view, of the receiver's anus. The giver will also be in a position to reach between the receivers legs to allow stimulation of the genitals. From this point please follow the same procedure as in the face to face method.

With its sensuous, total body expression, much of woman to woman
("w/w") sexuality might be labeled tantric or contemplative sex. In w/w lovemaking, the assumed roles are easily interchangeable. Orgasm isn't always the goal. The experience is one of being totally connected, awake, and alive in this state of vibrant, loving, erotic energy. W/w sacred sexuality is one step on a long journey of unfolding the Sacred in women's lives. Erotic love between women can be a celebration of, and an initiation into the female creative spirit, the feminine mysteries. Female lovers hold the form of feminine power at its most profound. With each act of loving they can embrace a deep inner space and explore the possibility of returning to their original perfection. W/w sacred sexual love has the potential to awaken and reunite a woman with her divine source being. Whether or not she has a sexual partner or not, depends on many factors, including her particular circumstance, karma and purpose in life. Sex is sex. It is not the partner's gender that makes sex sacred. It is the consciousness that women bring to their sexual acts that makes them sacred, whether they are making love to themselves or with a partner. W/w love is sacred when it is visionary, interconnected and transformational. Through the power of love women come to know themselves as both mothers (creators of their lives) and as daughters (caretakers of the Earth).

Women's lives and work can become expressions of this wisdom and power. Rarely do books, from translations of ancient texts to modern sex manuals, speak of sex between same-sex partners as sacred. Whether referring to Hindu tantric practices or Chinese sexual yoga, most of the techniques described are directed toward heterosexual couples. Women are told that the man holds the yang and the woman the yin, and through their sexual union, the energy is balanced. Yet each, woman or man, contains both yin and the yang energy. These are the rivers of life that spiral upward through the spine. It is not necessary to have sexual union with the opposite sex to balance us. The wholeness that is spoken of in all spiritual traditions is the openness of the heart. It is finding the balance of sacred life energy within each human being. For this balance to be possible we must first love and accept ourselves. In finding this balance we move beyond our personal boundaries to a communion with all life. Females often have an easier time than men in recognizing the connection between their bodies, the body of the planet and the body of the universe. A woman's moon cycles give her the most direct experience of the ebb and flow of life. Women have more freedom in changing roles and experiencing a wider range of behavior and feelings. A women's lovemaking is not focused on one single act, instead her sexuality can be sacred, playful, lustful, serious, humorous, joyful, tender, angry, or anxious. Female sexual communion becomes tantric when it serves as initiation to the "body" of the universe. Sexual acts become acts of worship when each partner experiences herself and the other as Goddess/Divine.

Love's Energy
The purpose of this exercise is a loving, sensuous exchange of energy. It is not necessary to do the exercise in a seated position. Nor is it necessary to physically gaze into each other's eyes. Please feel free to adapt this exercise to physical abilities and desires. For example the lovers could be lying side by side mentally envisioning the energy exchange.

Sit naked, back to back. Take time to ground yourself by breathing deeply. You may want to imagine the base of your spine like a giant root extending deep into the heart of the Earth. Imagine breathing energy from the earth up along your spine. When you feel grounded, allow that image to dissolve and without losing your grounding become sensitive to the sensation of your back touching your lover's back.

Lover "one" imagines breathing the energy drawn from the base of her lover's spine up along her own spine and exhales the energy out the top of her crown chakra. She continues breathing in this manner. Lover "two" imagines receiving her partner's energy through her crown chakra like a waterfall, and allows the energy to descend down her spine. She exhales the energy through the base of her spine. She continues breathing in this manner. The lovers continue to sit back to back breathing the energy from one to the other and feeling the circle of energy. Now the lovers may want to imagine sending colors through their spines. Continue to breathe colors and be aware of the sensations and feelings that arise during this exercise. Without losing the sense of this circle of energy, the lovers slowly turn to face one another. With eyes open and soft, continue to sense one another's energy. It is not necessary to try to maintain the visualization. Simply be aware of your breath and keep your eyes focused on your lover's eyes. Be open to any feelings, emotional or sexual, that arise. Keep softening and opening to the gaze of your lover. Allow yourself to see and to be seen. Be sensitive to any energy changes. You may want to increase contact with touching, kissing, and lovemaking. Move slowly and keep eye contact as much as possible. You may choose to complete the exercise without increased contact. Slowly move apart from each other, while maintaining eye contact. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and imagine your roots deep into the Earth. When you are ready, open your eyes.

Lovemaking as Worship
You may have experiences in lovemaking where you will lose all sense of yourself or your lover. Your lover becomes a Goddess or the Buddha Tara, and you her devotee. Your love for her is the ultimate act of surrender, of opening into the universe. You reach out to the world. You come naked with the dearest thing you have to offer, your body, yourself, and you offer it to your beloved. In this union you are united not with yourself alone but with the body of the universe. Lovemaking becomes an act of worship. You can play with your breath during lovemaking. Breathe slow and steadily, resisting your body's urge to quicken. The slow, steady, deep breathing coupled with intense and pleasurable sensations creates a tremendous expansion. You will become open to vast reservoirs of energy within yourself and your lover. The transformation of energy is tangible. You will open up into the universe and there is no gap or separation between yourself and the universe. It is one seamless, shimmering net of life. It is sacred space.