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Cute Girls in Class?

Stop Flirting and Start


by Chase Amante
Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Whether you're working your way through college or a master's program or you're
taking adult education classes on the side in another language or a new skill you'd like
to get down, you've probably run into girls in class you liked at some point or another.
Heck, maybe even in most of the classes you've taken you've run into a few!

And if you have, you've probably also run into the scenario common to most guys
who've had cute girls in their classes:

Spot pretty girl in class

Try and sit near pretty girl
Try to make eye contact with her
Maybe exchange a few words
Try and work together with her, maybe on a project
Try and impress her in class - telling jokes, say, or knowing all the answers
Eventually it seems like maybe she likes you - but then nothing happens
You can easily spend one semester after another doing this, always feeling like girls
like you, and never getting anywhere with them. And that's frustrating.
If you've ever sat there admiring some beautiful girl in class, then never made a move,
you know what I'm talking about. She made class a lot more interesting and exciting to
attend... but that was about it. Wouldn't it be great if you could actually meet these
pretty girls in class and date them?

A lot of the advice out there centers on getting you flirting with girls in class... eye
contact, teasing, and all that jazz. To me though, that's a big waste of time. ANYBODY
can flirt with a girl in one of his classes... what we want to get youdoing is asking them
So let's get you asking them out.

You'd think it'd be easier to meet girls in class than somewhere random, like a street or
a nightclub. Or than some alcohol-infused mish-mosh like an apartment party or dorm
room shebang.
But if you're like most guys, it's the opposite. Classrooms are a lot harder to meet girls
in than the alternative.
It's weird. There you are, and there she is... you see each other every day... you like her,
she likes you. Easy, right?
Well... not exactly.
Similar to what we talked about with "regulars" in the article on gym pickup, girls in
your class effectively function as "regulars" in that environment, too - they're slowgame social circle prospects that it's often difficult to move fast with.
But why?
There are several reasons:

Most of the value you show her during class you show her indirectly. She sees you
impressively answering the teacher, for instance, or she laughs at one of your jokes you
tell a classmate or the class; or she marvels at your sense of style, or impeccable
posture, or attractive, resonant voice. Because it's indirect, it's harder for her to let you
know she likes you - she can't well say she's impressed by your voice when you haven't
been talking to her; she'll feel like she's chasing you.

Despite you being in the same class together, there often isn't a social context. In
other words, you don't often have a good reason to speak to one another. Her heart
might be throbbing for you, and yours for her, and you might even be
an expert at talking to girls outside of class, but because there's no easy, readilyavailable situational reason for the two of you to start talking, you never do.

There's hardly any time to talk before or after class, and you can't
talkduring class. Before class, she isn't there, or you aren't there, or the two of you are
sitting far apart. After class, everybody leaves. And during class, well... that's when
the teacher's talking, not you. So again, you and the girls in class you like never talk.

Classrooms are instant social circle - which means she needs to be

cautious. Because she'll see you again, and especially if you're in a small school and
you and her are in a lot of the same classes and know a lot of the same people, you are
most certainly not some random guy she can interact with with zero fear of the
consequences. Being her secret lover is largely out; the classroom imposes immediate
and nearly universal expectations of "friend" or "boyfriend," almost never "lover,"
which means you'll be stuck moving slowly (and often ineffectively)... and we'll discuss
why below, and how you can try to counter this.
These things in conjunction all make classroom dating more difficult for the majority of
men. Getting girls in class is an entirely different skill set - it's sort of like social
circle, but not really. And it's completely different from picking up strangers in a bar or
a bookstore. The things that work great in those scenarios often don't work at all in a
Fortunately, all the fundamentals you've been building (great posture, a sexy walk,
a sexy voice, slow and dominant movements, eye contact, a sexy vibe,leading
women, moving women, frame control, and all the rest) still apply, and still are
important in attracting women in class as much as anywhere else.
But make no bones about it, classroom dating is a strange and unusual beast into and
unto itself.

The Instant Social Circle

If you've read "9 Great Tips for Dating in College," you may have noticed I spent very
little time on talking about class. That's for two reasons:
1. Class is "luck of the draw." You might end up in a class filled with beauties, or you
might end up in one filled with guys who like engineering, anime, and video games.
Aside from selecting classes more likely to have attractive women in them, you have
little control over whom you're going to get in your classes, and that's doubly true if
you're in university taking required courses.
2. That instant social circle deal we mentioned above. I'll go into this one more in-depth
The luck-of-the-draw element in classes can mess with your head if you aren't meeting
new women more regularly on your own. I can remember classes in college where I'd
start thinking some girl in one of my classes was really hot, just because she was the
prettiest girl in class. I'd be having all these fantasies about her and what have
you. Then I'd run into her outside of class and realize that, compared to all
the other girls out and about, she was really nothing special.

Classrooms are dangerous like that. Suddenly you start highly valuing some girl that
you really wouldn't value nearly as high outside that single classroom, and you act
weird and do the wrong stuff.
What I really want to talk about here is the "instant social circle" problem.Social
circle is a different approach to meeting women than cold approach, which is the main
thing advocated here and what I suggest you do to liberate yourself from ever having
any limitations on your dating life ever again. If you want to be free, you need to cold
approach, plain and simple.
Many guys never will, because it's too intimidating, but once you get going on it and
start racking up experience and it stops being scary and weird, it truly is freedom for
your love life.

Back to social circle. Sometimes, you can leverage social circle to get yourself a lot of
fast lays with a lot of attractive women who might otherwise be difficult to get through
your cold approaching.
For instance, Ricardus at one point had himself well-established in the social circle of
some popular local music celebrities who'd always hang out in the VIP section of the
nightclubs in town, and they'd always have a constant stream of new and beautiful
women coming through. Ricardus, who was just some guy who was friends with the
music stars, as far as the girls were concerned, would just hang out and pick up girls this
way and had an easy time of it, because he was operating on the periphery of their
social circles and just being a sexy guy they happened to run into for fast intimacy.
Most of the time though, unless you're doing things really right, social circle simply
leads to:

Girls being extra-cautious (you're not anonymous, which means there's a much greater
chance that whatever happens between her and you gets out to everyone she knows and she absolutely must maintain discretion - and her reputation)

Girls coming to value you as potential friends or lovers - they see your "other sides" and
suddenly it's next to impossible to see you as a one-dimensional sexy man who's only

going to provide one thing to their lives and one thing only (lusty, raunchy physical

The "I've got time" mentality - if you're some man she meets on the street, it can seem
like a romantic, rushed encounter - she's got to decide: will she see you again, or not?
Then, if you're not always completely available, she may fear losing you and never
seeing you again - thus prompting her to pick up the pace if yes, in fact, she likes
you. In social circle, women feel noneof this urgency. And the more time they spend
around you, the more secure they begin to feel that you are never going away... so they
can take asloooong as they like to make up their minds.
Thus, you see the limitations here. And there are fewer places better at reassuring
women you aren't going anywhere, at showing them your other (non-sexual) sides,
and at reinforcing that they'd better move slow and be cautious with you than
In as restrictive an environment as the classroom is, what's a boy to do?

Obviously then, if you want to get girls in class, you have to overcome the limitations of
the classroom environment - namely:

Girls extra-cautious
Girls seeing your other sides and valuing you more highly
Girls feeling like they've got plenty of time with you
... and then you've got to step up to the plate and make some magic (and dates) happen.
Let's tackle extra-cautious first.

Defusing Extra-Cautious
Extra-cautious is the most intractable, at first glance, of these three problems to remove.
You can't very well just tell a girl that you're discreet... that doesn't work. You'll just be
wasting your time. In fact, every way I've seen most guys try to do this reeks of
desperation, or is a little on the clumsy side. So stay away from anything approximating,

"Hey, don't worry... I don't kiss and tell!" Stay away too from the equally-clumsy,
"Hey... you don't kiss and tell, do you?" She knows you don't care if she does.
You can tell her a story about how foolish it is that you friend was indiscreet about
something, but it needs to be artfully and expertly woven into your conversation to not
sound contrived - and you're in a classroom, there's not much chance to talk
about anything, let alone artfully weave something in.
In fact, there's a better way to let a woman feel comfortable letting her guard down
around you and trusting you to be discreet:
Give her some leverage over you.
That's right - tell her some secret she can use against you if it ever gets out.
Obviously, don't use something that's really going to wreck you if she does it, and don't
do this with girls you think might possibly do something spiteful / mean / hurtful, and
don't use something that's going to make you look like a dumb oaf to the girl.
Instead, use one like this:
You: Hey, what's your name?
Her: I'm Becky.
You: Hi Becky, I'm John.
Her: Hi John. How was your summer?
You: It was great - hey, Becky, can you hold onto my bag for a second? I've got food in
here, we're not supposed to have it, just don't tell anyone. I have to run outside for a
second and I don't want anyone going through my stuff and finding it. Call me paranoid.
Her: Okay...
You: Cool, I appreciate it. I'll be right back, thanks Becky.
You can do that before class begins, leave for a minute (go to the bathroom, get a drink
of water, etc.), then come back, thank her, and tell her you'll give her a potato chip later
(or whatever you've got in there).
Why's this work? As it turns out, it does a number of good things for you, all at once:

It creates an "us-vs-them" theme between the two of you

It communicates to her that you trust her
It communicates to her that you value discretion
It gets compliance from her right away and gets her investing
It gives her a piece of leverage over you (she knows you bring food to class, and could
tell the teacher), which makes you far less likely to do something to hurt her than
someone she holds no leverage over, and she knows this

And just like that, you've gone from being a total stranger to that quirky guy with
food in his bag that she now has some modicum of a connection with.
She doesn't know anything about you yet, other than that you're a little imposing and
you keep food in your satchel, but she's going to be a lot less cautious with you now
than, say, that guy Timmy over on her right who keeps staring at her and trying to flirt
with her.
And now, you're one down, two to go.

Preventing Girls in Class Seeing Your "Other

One of the big ones that kicks in once girls have been around you too long in class
is them seeing your "other side;" that is, they realize that you're not just a sexual
man filled with lust and passion, but that, hey! You're actually a pretty smart / funny /
great guy!
At that point, you can kiss any hope of getting together with them quickly
goodbye - and, most likely, any hope of getting together with them at all (see:
"Attraction Has an Expiration Date").
So how do you circumvent this?
Easy - you get together with them before they've had a chance to seethat other side.
That means, by the fourth time the class meets, you should already have asked a girl
out if you like her. Once you wait too long, attraction expires, and you get slotted
into just friends territory - no good. That's exactly where you don't want to be - it's like
getting tossed into a deep, dark hole of non-seduction. No good ever comes of being her
platonic guy friend and contenting yourself with hoping and dreaming while other men
date her, breakup with her, and move onto other girls and she moves onto other guys.
Your process should look like this:

Day 1: introductions. If you can, defuse her cautiousness right when you meet her,
although you can always do this on Day 2 once you've said "hi," too. Simply asking her
how her summer or winter break was if you've never talked to her before is
sufficient. Don't talk about the class; it'll kill you (it's a boring, dead-end topic, and
she knows you don't care why she's taking the class or what she thinks about the

Day 2: the second class you see her in. Talk to her more (easier now that you've said
"hi"), and if you haven't already defused her cautiousness, do it now by sharing
something that will give her a little leverage over you and make her understand you're a
guy who values discretion. You can be talking to her and tell her, "Hey, don't tell
anyone, but..." if you can tie something related into your conversation. Or, just use the
"food in my bag" example.

Day 3: talk some more; ask her out if things are going great, or wait until next time if
you think she needs a little more warming up (usually this is when you'll want to go in
for the kill, though).

Day 4: if you haven't asked her out by now, do it this day. Wait any longer than this and
you're dead in the water; friend zone material. If you like her,grab your cajones
and do it.
That's it. Fast. Not asking her out the first day - unless you're unbelievably suave, that's
going to seem too abrupt for a social circle context like this. You also won't have had
time to get into much of a discussion with her and screened her to any meaningful
extent; it won't feel "right" that you're asking her out.
Once you've met her on the first day, it's very easy for you to sit next to her on
subsequent days and go straight into talking to her. The two of you are classmates who
are on a friendly basis now; there's no need for you to pretend to ignore her. Just sit near
her and talk.
What should you talk about? The same things you would with women in any other
situation. See:

The Art of the Deep Dive

Conversation Example
The Conversationalist
... for some ideas.
You should absolutely not talk about:

The class
The teacher
The school
The school football team
Anything impersonal to her whatsoever
If her answers are going to be similar to the answers you'd get from anyone else (e.g.,
"Why are you taking this class?" "What do you think of the teacher?" "Do you think our
football team has a good chance to win this year?"), do NOT ask that question. It's
boring conversation fodder, and you'll sound like a boring conversationalist.
Be an interesting one. Get onto deep, meaty topics about her.
How to ask her out? Well, once you've had a few half-decent conversations, you can
simply ask her:
Tell you what, let's grab a bite sometime this week, outside of class.
And then get a phone number from her.
And at this point, you only have one more consideration left.

What If She Thinks She Has Plenty of Time?

Any time someone is faced with having to make a choice, if given the option
todelay that choice, most folks will take it.
Have to choose whether to buy that used BMW you were checking out for $10,000 or
not? It's okay, you've got time. You'll make up your mind later.
But for the dealer, this is not so good. Now he's not sure whether to sell the BMW to
the next guy who comes by, or to show him a different car, try and sell him that one,
and hope you come back and take the BMW... or whether he should just sell the guy the
BMW, thinking you won't come back, and hope he made the right decision and you
don't come back looking for the BMW, find that it's gone, and then he's lost a sale.
Have to choose whether to buy that new Bose sound system at Best Buy or not, but
you're not sure if it's what you want? It's fine, you can head home later and check out
the ratings on Amazon.
But for Best Buy, chances are you never come back. If you want it, it might just be
more convenient to purchase it on Amazon and have it shipped out. Or, you might
discover there's another model you want even more over at Circuit City, so you go there
This is women, and you. She likes you; she's interested in you. BUT, she thinks she's
got plenty of time to make up her mind.
No rush.
Meanwhile, you're neglecting meeting other women because you're putting mental
energy on trying to meet her. And then, like we talked about in "How to Get Girls,"
along comes a guy who does everything right, and he manages to interrupt her
daydreams about how great you and her will be together just long enough for the two of
them to sleep together - and now suddenly she's his girl.
Time, my friend, is most certainly of the essence when it comes to women and dating,
and girls in class are no exception.
But how can you convince a girl that she needs to stop deliberating and make a
If you follow the steps above under "Defusing Extra-Cautious" and "Preventing Girls in
Class Seeing Your 'Other Side,'" chances are you won't need to. You'll have done things
right, have moved fast with her, and you already be lining up dates and taking it from
But what if you didn't? What if you did things wrong, slipped into the social circle
position, and now you're stuck?
Well, unfortunately, your options for upping your scarcity are pretty limited in class.
You can't:

Up and disappear - she'll still see you in the classroom, and you don't have her contact
info to follow up with her later even if you do start skipping class

Just quit talking to her - she'll think you've gone into auto-rejection and that she hurt
your feelings - in other words, that she holds emotional power over you, and you're
more interested in her than she is in you. Not so good for attraction-building

Tell her you're scarce - women pay your words little mind; it's your actionsthey care for,
and action-wise... you're still there
That means it basically comes down to preselection and making her jealous.
You won't always be able to do this. That's why you want to move fast and cement
things with her as soon as you start a new class with a girl.
But sometimes you can swing this.
The tough news is, this is a very delicate balance, and you can just as easily cause a
girl who likes you but wants to take her time with you to auto-reject as you can to
begin pursuing you. You really need the right balance of just enoughof a jealousy
plotline that she becomes interested again and realizes you risk going off the market that
she decides to make her choice.
How's this work? Well, first, before you run a jealousy plotline in class, always either:

Ask the girl you like out, or

At least try and make some headway talking with her

If she won't get into any good conversations with you, and/or you've tried asking her out
and she pushed it off into some indeterminate time in the future, then it's time to get her
excited in you again.
You do that by starting to talk to another girl, and getting her interested.
The good news is, if you have been talking to the first girl, the second girl's
probably already interested. To her, you're already preselected - the first girl was your
preselection. That means the second girl is likely to be warm to you right away.
Now, once you're talking to this second girl and flirting with her, you don't want to
be obvious with the first girl. It isn't:

Girl A ignores you

You talk to Girl B immediately
After some flirting with Girl B, you go back to Girl A
That's obvious, and it doesn't give her any time to stew. Instead:

1. Girl A ignores you

2. The next time you're in class, you sit near Girl B and talk to her
3. You do not talk to Girl A that entire class (even if you usually do)

4. Judge how many classes to take off from Girl A based on how cold she is to you - if
very cold, take 3 or 4 classes off. If just a little bit, or she's playing hard to get, take 2
classes off.
5. After 2 to 4 classes off from talking to Girl A and instead talking to Girl B, sit near
Girl A again and pick up where you left off, as if nothing had happened. At the end of
your conversation, ask her out.
Now note: this doesn't always work. That's why you want to do things right the first
time around and move fast so you aren't walking the tightrope later trying to hit the
balance just right. However, there are a couple of benefits from this strategy:

You let Girl A realize she actually liked you

You get Girl B interested (and maybe even date her instead)
... it's a heck of a lot of fun, and a lot better than what most guys are doing (hoping and
praying, essentially)
And, ideally, now you've got a date.

Girls in Class Wrap Up

The long and short of it The classroom is a difficult place to meet women usually, because:

Most of your value's shown indirectly - not useful for sparking conversation
Despite being in class together, there's often not a social context
There's little time to talk before or after class, and often none during
Classrooms are instant social circle environments
The difficulties of the instant social circle environment are:

Girls become extra-cautious

Girls see your other sides and value you more as a friend or boyfriend than lover
Girls assume they've got plenty of time to decide if they want you or not
You can get around all of these by:

1. Talking to girls right away on the first day of class, making it socially acceptable to sit
near them and talk to them in future classes before class and after class
2. Targeting personal, non-boring conversation to talk about with girls in class
3. Creating an "us-vs-them" air and/or giving her leverage over you to remove her fears of
4. Asking her out quickly into beginning class with you, before she has time to see your
"other sides" and begin thinking of you as a friend or potential boyfriend
5. Using preselection and jealousy to reignite interest and increase scarcity if you've taken
too long or she assumes she has time to choose
And if you do these things, you'll be better equipped to meet girls in the classroom than
almost every other guy in class with you (even the cool guys, popular guys, handsome
guys, and jocks).
Heck, they might even start coming to you for advice... now wouldn't that be fun?
Happy school days,
Chase Amante

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eye contacts
Posted by victory on Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Can you make a post on eye contacts and facial expression in general. It seems that the
facial expression you give can either substantiate your words or diminish the power of
the words you say to a girl.


Facial Expression / Eye Contact Post

Posted by Chase Amante on Thursday, 22 November 2012

Hey Victory,
Sure, I can put one in the works for that.
Meantime, here are a few worth reading if you haven't seen them yet:
Eye Contact:

Elite Eye Contact

Eyes That Draw
Eye Contact Flirting

Facial Expressions:

The Bored Look

The Skeptical Look


Nonverbal Attraction
Nonverbal Communication



Great article, but when you

Posted by Curious George on Thursday, 22 November 2012
Great article, but when you say four day time period do you mean four days after
talking to her or four days as soon as you start the class with all girls in the class ? And
can you use this at work? Thanks chase!


Four Day Period

Posted by Chase Amante on Thursday, 22 November 2012

Hi George,
Forgive the lack of clarity... what was intended was four classroom sessions.
So, if you have class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the first Tuesday is Day 1, the first
Thursday is Day 2, and so on and so forth.
As far as using this at work... some of it, certainly. Although some of it's very specific
to a classroom environment. But the basic principles of it - establishing discretion,
moving quickly, and creating a jealousy plotline in the event you've moved too slow or
she's acting uninterested - absolutely apply.


Great read, just to clarify

Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, 22 November 2012
Great read, just to clarify there is no chance girls and your class would see you as a
potential lover even though your teacher thinks your groovy and your value is great ex.
(athlete and dominate) I find it that I am the mysterious guy who shows flashes of
brilliance in class. In my school the semester will be ending soon is to late to ask girls
out especially the cutie who sits next to you who you ask for a pen and has seen you talk
flawlessly to girls outside of class in the hallways?
I usually don't ask questions but I love reading your blog!


Lover in Class
Posted by Chase Amante on Thursday, 22 November 2012

Hey Anon,
It's possible, but you've REALLY got to be firing on all cylinders... classroom's a tough
environment. If you're sufficiently high enough in value over a woman where she stops
being able to really relate to you as a human being but still finds you desirable as a
mate, you can hold "potential lover" status even in light of large amounts of value on
display that ordinarily would get a man slotted into friend or boyfriend territory. So it IS
possible, it's just relatively uncommon.
It's never really too late to ask girls out (especially if you're good... the rules are a lot
less rigid when you're at a point where women find you very attractive), and in fact the
end of the semester can be a great time to ask girls out - a lot of hooking up occurs at
semester-end (primarily because discretion becomes less important - your classes
together are over - and the potential for a man becoming a girl's long-term friend or
boyfriend greatly diminishes at the end of the semester if he isn't already one of these
In other words, if you want to take the shot - then take the shot!


Too late?
Posted by Will on Thursday, 22 November 2012
Great post Chase, really nailed classroom pickup to a science here! However, I'm
wondering, now that I'm finally determined to make a stand and stop being my shy,
introverted self (who gets NO women), whether I have a chance with cute girls in my
classes even though the school year has started and everyone's 'fixed' where they sit in
class (so to speak).


Set Seats
Posted by Chase Amante on Thursday, 22 November 2012

Hi Will,
Yes - that's another reason for needing to move expeditiously on this one - you can only
change seats early into the semester before everyone settles in (unless you're in a
REALLY big, forum-like classroom... e.g., 200+ students listening to a lecture).
Once you reach that point, you're almost stuck in the traditional old "catch her in the
hallway" or on her way into or out of class approach, simply because logistically there's
not really much else you can do.
There are other alternatives - like, throwing a party and inviting everyone in your class
just to get them out of the classroom setting and meet them elsewhere - but there's a
good chance she just doesn't come, even if she likes you... this one's only good if there
are multiple girls in class you like and you're interested in socializing anyway (in case
none of the girls show up; you don't want to go to the trouble of putting a party together
and then having to host it feeling miserable if only the guys from your class arrive).
The best way to me is to take the "old friend" approach even if you've never talked to
her before. The way it works is you wait until she's leaving, and then you leave at the
same time, and casually ask her, "What'd you think of that test?" (or whatever), and then
self-deprecate, "Yeah, I'm not hanging this one on the fridge in my room or anything,
that's for sure," and talk a bit. Do that a few scattered times over a few different classes
(e.g., not several classes right in a row; it feels weird for you to ignore her all semester
and then suddenly fix in on her), and then grab contact info with a close on a high note
when you're talking one of those days like, "Let's grab a bite or a drink before they end
the semester. What's your exam schedule like?" Then find out her schedule, follow up
with a, "Cool, maybe next Tuesday or Thursday once your exams are mostly over then;
I'll text you, we can figure it out," and then grab her cell number.



Posted by Franco on Thursday, 22 November 2012

No article on how to pick up women on Thanksgiving, Chase? Bummer... ;)
If you'll excuse my joke, this is a great article for those who are still in school and
looking to meet women. I honestly wish GirlsChase had existed while I was in school -I feel like I would have been exponentially further along in my experience level with
With that being said: great article! And Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


Re: Thanksgiving
Posted by Chase Amante on Thursday, 22 November 2012

You know, I was thinking about whether I could put one up today on picking up in
grocery stores or something to capture the holiday spirit, but I figured maybe I'd do
something more cerebral today and think about a shopping post tomorrow in honor of
Black Friday.
Plus, man... for some reason, it's really difficult to find pictures of women and turkeys!
Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving, Franco (and everyone else) - try not to get too stuffed ;)


What do you think about

Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, 22 November 2012

What do you think about dropping the "Hey, we should trade contact info so we can
study for the next exam..." line to get a girl's number? Does that come across as
needy/trying too hard to get build a connection? It's rather indirect (safe) and girls
usually give you their number rather easily.


Study Buddies
Posted by Chase Amante on Thursday, 22 November 2012

Hey Anon,
It's okay if she's REALLY shy... like, she's never had a boyfriend before kind-of-shy.
Otherwise, it's very obvious that the guy using it is trying to hide his intentions (e.g.,
he's playing "hide the banana," as discussed in theindirect game article) and it simply
looks weak and unattractive. It might be easier to get her contact info this way, but
you'll already be starting out from deep in the friend zone when you start studying with
her and it'll be a long climb to get out.
Better just to be upfront with her and invite her to get some food / drinks with you.


Opening and deep diving

Posted by M on Thursday, 22 November 2012
Hey Chase,
Thanks for the great post Im a student and burst out laughing at your comparisons of
classroom dating and cold approaches. I'm hoping you could clarify a bit on the above
(1) Opening: I know guys who can say a few words to the girl next to them in class, and
then right away she's laughing and touching him and saying, "I know, right?" I think

they're making some observation (about something in the lecture or the professor) that's
on her mind at that moment, but I've never known how they do it so consistently. Any
way you could write a post on how to observe something funny in any situation (which
would make this opening, and a lot of other things, easy)?
(2) Deep diving: During those first 4 classes, would you recommend deep diving on
lighter stuff that she usually talks about with friends things going on in her personal
life right now, or gossip about other students in the class, for instance?
I have the impression that she would much rather talk about those things at first than her
hometown, future career, siblings, or extracurriculars. The reason is that hometown,
future career, etc. are extremely common topics among students (even mild
acquaintances, not just friends), so she immediately goes into autopilot (and its pretty
hard to break out of since shes talked about essentially all variations of those subjects
with random student acquaintances and curious adults), and the whole thing becomes
rather impersonal and unnatural (and short).
Of course, this has the danger of the guy ending up becoming her girlfriend, but flirting,
sexy non-verbals, and asking her out quickly should take care of that. Let me know if
Im heading in the wrong direction.


Re: Opening and deep diving

Posted by Chase Amante on Thursday, 22 November 2012

Howdy M,
On opening - sure. Although, that's mainly like anything - just takes practice.
But I'll get a post up on it.
On the deep diving: what you're going for is DEPTH, rather than the surface layer of the
topic herself. I'd go for major => dive down to what she's going to do with that => then
either where she imagines herself with that in 10 years OR if she always wanted to be
that (e.g., what did you want to be when you were a little girl... why did you change
your mind and go into this far less exciting career... do you think you'll ever go back
and do that).

Remember with deep diving, as soon as you get into a really substantial conversation,
you've got to try and close then. Get her number, because now the clock's ticking on
Here's why you never want to talk about light stuff: it puts you in the same boring box
as everybody else in her life.
Imagine James Bond, standing there talking to some woman he's just met, saying, "So
what do you and your friends do when you hang out on the weekends?" or, "Hey, did
you hear about Katie and Nick? Crazy, right?"
Doesn't work. Leave that stuff to her girlfriends (and platonic guy pals who keep
thinking they're "closing in on her") and you just worry about opening her eyes and
making her say, "Wow." It'll get you what you want a lot more effectively than trying to
slide under the radar platonically... which almost never works (women just don't respect
it - they respect guys being straight with them far, far more - so be that).

reply here's a funny thing that happened..

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, 1 December 2012
Hey Chase,
Your writings are a gold mine and I mean it!
Ok so here's a funny thing that happened..
There is this low key "smart girl" in my class and I thought she liked my intellect..which
I like to think is my forte.. so I say let's get together sometime after class "to talk" and
she says yeah sure!
The next morning I'm a little surprised to see an early morning text from her like "when
do you want to meet up?" and I decide to give it a shot and say..well I was thinking my
place cause it's more comfy and I've got chips! OR we could meet somewhere in the
middle so both of us have to walk less..and she says "Your place sounds good..I'll be
there in 20..and I'm like "whoa"..
So I clean up..she shows up..and then I figure since she probably got impressed with the
intellect..let's do that again..and so I do that for the next 2 hours..she goes to the loo
comes back and starts talking about spontaneity or something..I figure this may as well
be a moment as any and say "speaking of spontaneity.." and reach for the kiss.. but she
backs off and says " are friends! actually I have a boyfriend"

(not that I actually didn't know that) so I make this funny whiney face..and the
conversation continues comfortably forward.. we walk back to class together and all is
good except..
A) Was she really there "just" for conversation..?
B) Did I mess up and she subliminally wanted more but I went Dr. Phil on her?


Posted by Chase Amante on Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Hi Anon,
I can't tell what she was like when she arrived at your place from your description here,
so it's difficult to say. My gut is that she probably was hoping something would happen
right away, but too much time passed and it killer her enthusiasm.
I'd be very surprised if she was "just" there for conversation. I don't know any women
who just go over to a man's place alone for pure conversation. And her reaction to your
kiss attempt doesn't sound like the shocked reaction of a girl who really thought that the
two of you were "just friends"... it sounds like she was expecting it.
Could also have been that she's playing a game / sort of likes you and wants to keep you
on the hook as a backup plan. Again, hard to read, but it's one of those most likely (she
liked you and wanted something to happen; she's playing a game; she wanted you on the
roster as a backup player).


Does getting a girl to study

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, 3 December 2012

Does getting a girl to study with you count as getting her to hang out? Or do you have to
turn it into a "date" by saying hey lets go
after some studying?


Re: Does getting a girl to study

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, 3 December 2012
The date is not important.. moving her to be alone with you is important. So if you get
her to be alone with you in a room (or car) studying, then you simply need to get close
to her and get "distracted".
Just make sure you don't meet her up at a coffee shop and study in the actual place. Get
her alone by suggesting you two relax in your car with some music (or just take off to
the car without saying anything, she'll follow).
The goal is to find a place to get things romantic essentially.


what to do next
Posted by mizraw66 on Wednesday, 20 November 2013
I have a crush on this girl I sit next to in class. She is sexy and really wouldn't mind
dating her. But here the problem. We have small talk every class about the school work
for a couple of weeks and in one class I asked her if she could be my study buddy (
stupid I know) she kindly says ok and took my number but I didn't get her. She never
called or text me and 8 weeks past. My question is what should I do to have a chance
with this girl I felt like I screwed up my opportunity by hiding behind the banana.
Should I just leave it alone and leave from my mistake or just come out direct and tell
her how I really feel


sitting around girls

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, 18 April 2014

first off, I want to say that this is a great website & blog you have here Chase; the articles
I've read here have greatly helped me in my quest to become a better seducer.
my reason for posting a question is about how to sit around girls; I've read elsewhere that as
an alpha male, you want to sit down with your legs and feet basically at hip or shoulder
width apart, and that you want to take up as much comfortable space as you possibly can, as
well as be comfortable with resting your hands near your crotch/belt-buckle. but say you're
sitting at a table or counter-top, and you have your arms up on it. should you keep your
hands and elbows shoulder-width apart and not touching/crossing, or is it o.k. to have them
touching/crossed overtop one another or forming a little "enclosed" area in front of you, or
does this send negative subliminals to girls? also, is it good to hold your head up in this
scenario of sitting at a table/countertop by resting your chin on your hand, and if there's a
specific way to do this, what would it be?