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THE BETTER LIFE

BOOKS BY PETER FRITZ WALTER

Sovereign Immunity Litigation

Coaching Your Inner Child

The Leadership I Ching

Leadership & Career in the 21st Century

Creative-C Learning

Integrate Your Emotions

Krishnamurti and the Psychological Revolution

The New Paradigm in Business, Leadership and Career

The New Paradigm in Consciousness and Spirituality

The New Paradigm in Science and Systems Theory

The Vibrant Nature of Life

Shamanic Wisdom Meets the Western Mind

Creative Genius

The Better Life


THE
BETTER
LIFE
Transforming Yourself
From Inside Out
Published by Sirius-C Media Galaxy LLC

113 Barksdale Professional Center, Newark, Delaware, USA

2014 Peter Fritz Walter. Some rights reserved.

Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License

This publication may be distributed, used for an adaptation or for deriva-


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Set in Palatino

Designed by Peter Fritz Walter

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Publishing Categories
Self-Help / Personal Growth / Happiness

Publisher Contact Information


publisher@sirius-c-publishing.com
http://sirius-c-publishing.com

Author Contact Information


pfw@peterfritzwalter.com

About Dr. Peter Fritz Walter


http://peterfritzwalter.com
About the Author

Parallel to an international law career in Germany, Swit-


zerland and in the United States, Dr. Peter Fritz Walter
(Pierre) focused upon fine art, cookery, astrology, musical
performance, social sciences and humanities. He started
writing essays as an adolescent and received a high school
award for creative writing and editorial work for the
school magazine.

Upon finalizing his international law doctorate, he pri-


vately studied psychology and psychoanalysis and started
writing both fiction and nonfiction works.

After a second career as a corporate trainer and personal


coach, Pierre retired as a full-time writer, philosopher and
consultant.

His nonfiction books emphasize a systemic, holistic, cross-


cultural and interdisciplinary perspective, while his fiction
works and short stories focus upon education, philosophy,
perennial wisdom, and the poetic formulation of an inte-
grative worldview.

Pierre is a German-French bilingual native speaker and


writes English as his 4th language after German, Latin and
French. He also reads source literature for his research
works in Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, and Dutch.

All of Pierres books are hand-crafted and self-published,


designed by the author.

Cover Graphics

Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (121 AD 180 AD), one


of the firstand one of the most famousstoics in human
philosophical history.
To Victor

The authors profits from this book are being donated to charity.
Vain is the word of a philosopher which does not
heal any suffering of man. For just as there is no
profit in medicine if it does not expel the diseases of
the body, so there is no profit in philosophy either, if
it does not expel the suffering of the mind.

EPICURUS
Preface
Why I Wrote this Book

This book is the result of a wisdom quest I engaged in


after having lost one third of my fortune in an unlucky real
estate investment.

During this time of great loss and financial difficulty, I


partly remembered, partly learnt and applied some of the
teachings of the ancient stoics, such as Epictetus, Marcus
Aurelius, Seneca, and even Epicurus, and this helped me
overcome the personal crisis and recover both emotionally
and financially.
The intention behind this book is to share helpful and
practically useful methods I applied to bring a new balance
in my shaken life, and to live life more consciously, more
happily, with more gratitude, and a stronger grounding in
the present.
THE BETTER LIFE

The main questions this book asks and answers are


how to use the power of your subconscious mind to steer
your life in alignment with your higher purpose, and how
to adjust your thinking process so as to attract harmonious
conditions, success, and wealth.
Furthermore, I explain the creative process with many
practical and biographical examples, and teach techniques
such as creative writing, affirmative prayer, and spontane-
ous art. Besides, topics such as positive parenting, health,
making friends, and success strategies are covered.
Before I lost a quarter of a million dollars in just a year
on a real estate investment that I had not carefully enough
chosen, I guess I was sleepwalking through my life. It was
really a wake-up call! And in hindsight, practicing the stoic
technique of negative visualization, I came to the conclu-
sion that the negative events had a silver lining for me.
Now, what is negative visualization? William B. Irvine,
in his book A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic
Joy (2009) puts it well when he writes that sometimes a
catastrophe blasts people our of their jadedness. I was
thus visualizing to be on my death bed, eager to find out
what it was that I had missed in life? And the shocking in-
sight that came to me was that I had missed to publish my
books in a way they were useful. While I had self-published
eighty books, after the sobering experience of that financial
downfall, I came to realize that the language I had used in
those books was by and large not appropriate, that I had
been too judgmental in many ways, the proof of which

10
PREFACE

was that I received rather bad comments on my books. The


first drastic decision, then, I took with this new insight was
to unpublish all of my books and to restart the whole proc-
ess once again from scratch. While I was acutely aware that
it would be an almost heroic task, I took it on me, in that
really fantastically sobering state of imagining being near
death. This lucid state of mind, which I cant compare to
anything I have ever experienced before, triggers an amaz-
ing awareness process which leads to a kind of inner puri-
fication from what Irvine calls hedonic adaptation.

Hedonic adaptation has the power to extin-


guish our enjoyment of the world. Because of
adaptation, we take our life and what we have
for granted rather than delighting in them.
Negative visualization, though, is a powerful
antidote to hedonic adaptation. By consciously
thinking about the loss of what we have, we can
regain our appreciation of it, and with this re-
gained appreciation we can revitalize our ca-
pacity for joy. (Id., 74)

Indeed, before I had parted to another country to buy


those pool villas, I had gone through major binges because
of the stress that publishing eighty books in one year had
caused. I paid that marathon dearly, and was dependent
on sleeping pills that, together with the alcohol, put me in
a state of inattention that proved to be fatal during the
week I went to that country to choose the investments that
I was going to acquire.

11
THE BETTER LIFE

I should have followed the advice of Marcus Aurelius,


the Roman Emperor who was one of the most well-known
stoics of ancient times:

Begin the morning by saying to yourself, I shall


meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arro-
gant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these
things happen to them by reason of their igno-
rance of what is good and evil.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book II.

Because of my exhaustion and the constant drug in-


take, I committed major oversights and failed to secure
myself with legal advice, while the real estate agent be-
trayed me from one end to the other. While I was out of
that country again after one year, the sales of my proper-
ties took me entire two years, despite the fact that I had
signed up with thirty local agents, and it was an agony
without end, with losses around all corners.
I became aware that part of my problem had been legal
oversight, lack of attention, and trusting the wrong people.
Thus the first decision I took was to definitely stop the
sleep medication, the second thing was to drastically re-
duce my alcohol intake. The third thing was to invest my
remaining funds in microfinance, in a trusted organization,
and after having consulted a financial advisor.
As I continued the deathbed visualization every night
before falling asleep, an amazing abundance of new crea-

12
PREFACE

tive ideas came to me. It was a veritable explosion of new


and attractive book projects, while my ambition for pro-
ducing music was, compared to earlier years of my life,
getting into the background of my attention. And for the
first time in my life, I had been formulating priorities.
Among the books that spontaneously came to my mind
was the present one, and the title was really hitting the eye
of the beholder. It stood there in bold letters in front of my
inner mind. And while I previously have written selfhelp
books, I hadnt experienced a real creative urge to do so. It
was now after the dreadfully sobering financial catastro-
phe I had been through that I got that desire to share: not
the details of the negative events that unfolded so dramati-
cally during that fatal year, but positively what I had learnt
and what others could possibly take from that as a nour-
ishment.
One year later, and coinciding with the drafting of this
book, I chose stoicism as my life philosophy, after having
been for many years a Zen Buddhist and Western Taoist.
Having practiced Zen meditation for so many years, I
now became painfully aware that this long-term practice
had not prevented me from falling in the trap of alcohol
abuse because of exorbitant ambitions. What had been my
motives for that first publishing cycle? As a retired lawyer,
who had throughout his life a critical view of traditional
legal systems, I had a residue of contempt within me that I
tried to unleash in my books. I married my ambition with
sometimes harsh criticism and this negative mood had an

13
THE BETTER LIFE

impact on my psyche. It created fears and worries that I


had not known previously in life. It led to emotional stress
that in turn led to major oversights in managing my life
and my fortune.
Now, I found very down-to-earth and practical advice
about managing life in the various books I bought about
stoicism as a life philosophy that is pragmatic and that fo-
cuses upon mastering our daily life and duties. As long as I
had stayed with Zen meditation, it was easy to escape real-
ity through the thoughtless state, which I was able to real-
ize after those many years of practice: to be without a sin-
gle thought for more than an hour, and even longer. While
this is a refreshing and even blissful experience, if you do it
while neglecting your daily duties, it has no positive prac-
tical use.
But the change of my overall mindset through the sober-
ing experience of financial collapse had even deeper impli-
cations. For I became suddenly aware that I was not really
rooted in those philosophies from the East, that the whole
endeavor was like putting a hat that had the wrong color.
Suddenly the question came to my mind in which way
I was culturally connected to those teachings and the tech-
nique of meditation that is a part of them? And I had to
admit that there simply was no such cultural connection
and that I had taken on that lifestyle because it had been
fashionable in the 70s and 80s, when I first discovered it.
Now, reading stoic literature, I strongly felt that I was
well culturally connected to those teachings, while they

14
PREFACE

have unfortunately not shaped our civilization in any sig-


nificant manner, for it followed the teachings of Plato and
Aristotle.

After all, for me personally, rediscovering stoicism was


a dj vu experience for I had well studied it in general in
high school, after I was able to unchoose religion and opt
for the philosophy class. And already during that year, at
the age of 16, I had not been fond of Plato and Aristotle.
My favorite philosopher was Epicure, and while Epicurism
is formally different from Stoicism, this is the case only on
the surface. In fact, both philosophies are branches of the
same tree in that both focus on the private life, and our
overall attitudes toward life, toward desire, toward ambi-
tions, and the way we master our daily existence.
Until the sales of those unfortunate villas, and thus for
two years, I was living a shadow existence. My motivation
for writing and even for practicing the piano had reached a
long-time bottom. I did not get out of bed in the morning
and I badly neglected my creative duties. Through the lack
of movement and exercise, and the wrong diet, I attracted
gout/arthritis, a problem that had manifested first back in
2007, and while at that time it was paralyzing my left knee,
I was now taking immediate action, researched the medi-
cal situation myself and vigorously changed my diet from
acidic to alkaline. The need for exercise had become obvi-
ous; in addition, the stoic lifestyle advise was eventually
having a positive impact upon me, and I was following the
precepts of those philosophers, changing my schedule en-

15
THE BETTER LIFE

tirely. I got used to get up at 5 am and go to sleep at 10 pm,


do regular exercise, instead of stiff-legged meditation, and
cook a simple and yet delicious vegetarian cuisine.

And this was, then, a first success: I was able to avoid


an acute and painful gout attack, got a plant-based medica-
tion and continued with an alkaline diet.
In hindsight, I became aware that the main trigger of
the new and healthy orientation of my daily life and food
was the result of the stoic teaching I was slowly assimilat-
ing. Eventually I was heeding Marcus Aurelius advice:

Remember how often you have received an op-


portunity from the gods, and yet do not use it.
You must now at least perceive of what uni-
verse you are a part, and from what administra-
tor of the universe your existence flows, and
that a limit of time is fixed for you, which if you
do not use for clearing away the clouds from
your mind, it will go and you will go, and it
will never return. (Id.)

I had indeed been given the opportunity to keep my


money in the bank and would not have lost so much of it
through a precarious real estate investment in a country I
barely knew and where, years before, a man had stolen me
two thousand dollars from my bag when I was on my way
to buy a laptop. I clearly had clouds in my mind to leave
a country that had done me well for more than ten years,

16
PREFACE

and engage in an adventure without thorough preparation


and a critical mind.
The final blow of this unfortunate journey was that I
had to store my furniture away with the moving company
in that country for two years, because I lacked the money
for both insurance and for shipping the container. Having
had no insurance for a load that had a value of more than
fifty thousand dollars, when the container arrived here, I
was facing another shock. Many of the antiques and heir-
looms were missing, including works of art, many books
were in such a dirty condition that I had to trash them, and
entire collections of musical scores, which had been very
expensive, were missing.

Finally understanding that this was a major lesson the


universe was teaching me, I was asking myself:
Have I really deserved this?
And I spent days in prayer, asking the universe why
this happened, and then to my surprise realized that I did
not miss those items at all! One of the armchairs that was
missing would not have fit in my apartment after all, while
the items I was really dependent upon, my computer, my
digital piano, kitchen equipment, and most of my books
were there. So abandoned the cause of grief, thinking to
myself that I had been taught a lesson that affirms that less
is more, or can be more, if one is more appreciative and
grateful! Then, my ongoing practice of negative visualiza-
tion taught me that it all could have been much worse af-
ter all, that I could have lost more, and more vital items at

17
THE BETTER LIFE

that, and that my attitude had been refreshed in that or-


deal, leading to a new joy of life.
Marcus Aurelius writes in his Meditations:

And you will give yourself relief, if you do


every act of your life as if it were the last, laying
aside all carelessness, passionate aversion from
the commands of reason, hypocrisy, self-love,
and discontent with the portion that has been
given to you. You see how few the things are,
which if possessed by a man, enable him to live
a life that flows in quiet (Id.)

With a renewed positive spirit, I really wanted to know


it, I really wanted to find out what I had done wrong, and
ordered the books of Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki.

And I was dumbfounded to read that Trump only buys


a property after having scrutinized one hundred similar in-
vestments. And I had bought those villas virtually from the
website of the agent, without investigating many similar
objects, and there were many in fact, in that market.

After all, I had to admit toward myself that I was not


entirely responsible for my losses for there was a market
factor in play that I could not have accounted for at the
time of purchase. Suddenly, the condo business was get-
ting into a boom while my sector of high-end private pool
villas which target a corporate clientle, went very quiet.
That was the reason it took me so long to sell the houses
again, while I had bought them much too quickly. This was

18
PREFACE

of course a factor that I had no power over, thus I followed


Epictetus advice to not bother and put the past behind me:

Take away then aversion from all things which


are not in your power, and transfer it to the
things contrary to nature which are in your
power.

Epictetus, Enchiridion, Section II.

While my situation had been aggravated through the


fact that the landlord of my rented house together with the
maid (that he had taken to me) were stealing me money on
a consistent basis, amounting to almost thirty thousand dol-
lars, in fact all my savings, I did not blame them. Instead, I
drew a line and blamed myself to have been overly trust-
ing and nave, and out of touch with reality. And I found
an important advice in Epictetus Enchiridion:

When then we are impeded or disturbed or


grieved, let us never blame others, but our-
selves, that is, our opinions. It is the act of an ill-
instructed man to blame others for his own bad
condition; it is the act of one who has begun to
be instructed, to lay the blame on himself; and
of one whose instruction is completed, neither
to blame enough nor himself. (Id., Section V)

This passage made me aware that I was still in the dark


as long as I was blaming myself, which actually kept me
chained to those past events in a negative, and painful

19
THE BETTER LIFE

manner. After having understood that, I used positive af-


firmations to forgive myself and clear my mind of the
clouds. It was very important to have done that for I saw
that this was the key for finding inner peace once again.

20
Introduction
The Spontaneous Power of Thought

If you intent to improve, throw away such thoughts


as these: if I neglect my affairs, I shall not have the
means of living

EPICTETUS

Is your life good, or is it better than good?


Did you ever make an overall assessment of your life?
If not, would you find that useful? Are you satisfied with
your current life? Or do you wish to improve it? If yes, did
you ever ponder how this could possibly be done?
We are all going through phases of up and down, but
this is not what I am talking about in this book. Our lives
are cyclic, they are not linear because we constantly run
through cycles. That is so for all of us. And yet our lives are
different.
THE BETTER LIFE

You may have a neighbor whom you see entering his


stretch limo in the morning with a radiant smile; but every
time you see that, this nagging thought comes up:

Why is it that this man is so successful, so rich and so


happy, and I am not? What does he do to be like that? Does
he do anything for that to happen?
Well, yes, he might indeed do something about it, but
perhaps not consciously so

We do not know, but we


may assume that if he does Is your life good, or
not consciously make that is it better than good?
happen, he makes it happen
unconsciously, for example by thinking good thoughts,
constructive, fertile thoughts, and by being emotionally
balanced, instead of running wild in fear and resentment
ever so often.
And you, are you feeling jealous when you see him like
that, and when you see his beautiful wife and happy chil-
dren? Does it give you a bad moment to see that? Does it
make you wonder why the world is so unjust? Is it really?
I do not make a judgment. It would be silly in its gen-
erality and wouldnt be needed anyway because the pur-
pose of this book is pragmatic, not speculative. I do not
know if the world is just or unjust, I do not even bother. I
bother about what I think about the world, and myself, and
others. Why do I?

22
INTRODUCTION

Some years ago, I came to observing my thoughts, and


that was a surprising new start. I found that my thinking
was negative, and that I was thinking not very high about
myself. At that time, I still believed that the world is just a
chance event, that for some the sun is shining brighter as a
matter of luck and for others not, because they have bad
luck. I did not really believe that I had deserved my fate, I
rather thought it was all random, that there was no intelli-
gence behind this apparent injustice, that it was just a cos-
mic game, with winners here and losers thereand tomor-
row all might be reversed, just as the weather changes.
I dont joke, I really believed it was so, while I must
concede I never thought of it in depth, to a point to really
look through the veil. I had to learn it all through what
Ernest Holmes coined in 1927 as The Science of Mind. So
I studied this science, beginning with Joseph Murphy and
Catherine Ponder, then Ernest Holmes and finally James
Allen and Charles Fillmore and Charles Francis Haanel. It
took me about ten years. And one of the first things I learnt
about was the Law of Attraction
By and by, my life changed as I started to work with
special affirmations. The first thing I realized was that my
constant frustration and resentment vanished off as I went
along, and made space for a feeling of poised existential
calm, a certain stoicism, and this opened my mind to more
input, first of all, more positive input.
I also began to be aware of how negative input triggers
disturbances in the mind, and how to control this input.

23
THE BETTER LIFE

After I had finalized my


Some years ago I
research work and published
my books, there was a feeling
came to observing
of void for a certain time. I
my thoughts, and
had accomplished a cycle of that was a surprising
thirty years and felt there new start.
was time to do something
else.

So I began to draft presentations about The Science of


Mind, and how it had helped to change my life. My moti-
vation was to assist others in achieving more in their lives,
and to be happier, and live in peace with themselves and
others. Then I made the discovery that most people are ac-
tually negative, as negative as I had been, that they doubt
the basic existential goodness of the universe, and of their
fate. I saw that most people refuse to really be responsible
for their lives, blaming their fate or God or others, or cir-
cumstances, their parents, their upbringing

All of that had a rather familiar ring in my ears. I had


done the same for more than fifty years of my life. Now, to
learn that it was like a general rule that people are overall
negative in their facing life taught me an important lesson.
I had believed that I was special somehow in my negativ-
ism, that I had turned bitter for some or the other rather
particular reason, but now I saw that all others I saw think-
ing in the same vein used the same kind of vocabulary.
They also blamed particular events, particular relation-
ships, while there was much similar in their way to argue.

24
INTRODUCTION

It was more often than not the parents or one bad parent,
it was an abusive educator, it was a sibling, or it was lack-
ing money in the family. Somehow all these people seemed
to have been conditioned to believe they had precise rea-
sons to assume that they were worse off than others.
A little further down the road I understood that it effec-
tively boiled down to one monumental message that is rather
short:

I was not loved!


Now, dont let us become
sentimental and assume it Now, to learn that it
was all a big misunderstand- was like a general
ing, that all parents love their rule that people are
children, but are often preoc- overall negative in
cupied with their problems, their facing life
showing their children the taught me an impor-
cold face. I do not believe tant lesson.
that love is programmed into
the parent-child relationship.
Research has shown that the caring instinct that is so con-
spicuous with animals is not instinctual with humans. It is
something we learn through being cared for! If we were
poorly cared for, our own attitude to care for our children
is equally poorly developed.
In other words, when you feel you are being loved by
your parents and educators, that you are respected as what
you are, rather than being told to conform to certain expec-
tations, you develop a nurturing spirit. This is not just the-

25
THE BETTER LIFE

ory; it has even been confirmed by neuroscience. James W.


Prescott, an American neurospsychologist found in many
years of research that our brain develops differently when
as infants we were breastfed only for a short while, when
we were lacking tactile care and suffered from physical
punishment, to sum it up: when we were growing in a
non-caring environment. In such a case our brain develops
in ways that are not natural but a consequence of the emo-
tional starvation we have suffered early in life.
Now, of course, the problem with this kind of research
is always that it is explanatory only; it doesnt help us to
change our condition. While it is good to know that love is
really a biological factor, not just a cultural achievement,
our growing up sanely, the fact that it was lacking in our
childhood cannot be changed; it has to be accepted! What
does that mean?
Acceptance is something we hardly ever practice in our
society. Somehow we are trained to fight against circum-
stances, even those we cant change. That is not smart, its
even a waste of energy! What is acceptance, then?
Acceptance is an act of making peace, it is an act of for-
giveness and also an attitude that puts understanding up
as the solution. I do not mean the rather superficial justifi-
cations such as well, my parents didnt have time for me,
they were too busy with making money, but I understand
that now and will thus not bother anymore. It cant be
done that way or nothing will change, and the old devils
will come out of their cave again, the next time you are

26
INTRODUCTION

down, you are depressed, and feel abandoned by all and


everybody! Acceptance is more than understanding! It ar-
gues more on the line of I accept it anyway, whatever they
made wrong, whatever they had in mind, however inade-
quate they were, I accept it!
The Better Life, title of this
book, conveys that there is Acceptance is an act
really something that is bet- of making peace, it is
ter than just good. What is it? an act of forgiveness
It is your own expectation to and also an attitude
live a fulfilled life, your belief that puts understand-
you have deserved it, and ing up as a solution.
your effort to make it hap-
pen! When you want to have a life that is better than good,
that is more than average, you need to make it happen! It
will not happen by itself if you, like me, did not have the
favors some luckier people are born with, the support we
needed as children, for developing our talents, even later
as young adults. This, we cannot change, we cannot
change the past, but we can all live lives that are better
than good!
It is quite obvious that we cannot do that as long as we
are blaming the past, our parents, a bad childhood, some
or the other event, a wrong marriage or having entered the
wrong business. The past is dead so blaming the past can
logically not get you on a new constructive track. All that
happened to you in the past also has no value for having
you recognize your current potential. So if the past cannot

27
THE BETTER LIFE

be involved in your quest to lead a life that is better than


good, is it perhaps the future that will get you closer to
your dream? Well, the future is just potential, it is not yet
realized, its actually contained in the present. All the po-
tential of that future is in the now, the present moment; it is
from the now that the future unfolds, gradually. So should
we not care about the now, the present rather than bother-
ing about the past and the future?

You will also realize if you ponder the issue that wor-
rying both about the past and the future will easily make
you fearful and apprehensive, for you know what you
went through in the past, remembering the hurt and your
past fears, and regarding the future, the anxiety is created
by the fact that the future is utterly uncertain. So is is not
actually dysfunctional to worry about the past or the fu-
ture? Is it not much more constructive to bother about the
present? But how are you dealing with the present? Are
you worrying about your life or are you confident that you
are going in the right direction?
Now, before I am going to explain the Law of Attrac-
tion in the first chapter of this book, let me point out to you
what your options are before you ever set out to deliber-
ately attract anything to you. Your options are that either
you are setting your priorities and make up your mind
what you really want in life, or you let others, or the mass

28
INTRODUCTION

mind decide for you. Do you


All the potential of
find it difficult to choose? Are
you perhaps feeling guilty or
that future is in the
extravagant when you want a
now, the present
life that is better than good, a moment; it is from
life in which your dreams are the now that the fu-
fulfilled and not piled up in ture unfolds, gradu-
the recesses of your yearning ally.
mind?
If you are among those who are, like me, rather
modest-minded when it goes to claim our riches in life,
please ponder what happens if you refuse to choose! Do
you agree that in such a case, choices will nevertheless be
made, namely by fate? For example, when you go on vaca-
tion, would you not choose the hotel room you wish to
have, the amenities, the view from the room, the size of the
bed, or if the room comes with breakfast or not? Would
you leave it over to the desk clerk to choose all these de-
tails for you? Obviously not, you would make a conscious
choice, so what stands in the way of your choosing the
greater pattern of your life, namely the details that make
your life better than good?
Now you will want to know what I mean when I use
this term, better than good, right? I simply mean a life that is
above the law of averages, that is exuberant, sparkling, ex-
traordinary, abundant, and happy! I mean a life where you
virtually feel in which direction you are going, because you
have attained a certain assurance of the good that comes to

29
THE BETTER LIFE

you. If you are drowned in debt, you may feel you are go-
ing in the wrong direction, while if you are in an upward
cycle, for example after having realized a successful new
start in your professional life, you may feel you are going
in the right direction. But of course, the feeling may not be
the reality of whats actually happening.
Yet the rub is that feeling negative or positive about the
direction of your life does have an impact upon your sub-
conscious mind and that is why its so important that you
feel positive and free of guilt about yourself.
As life is anyway uncertain and you will not really know
where you are going, why not adopting a positive attitude
and learn how to program your subconscious mind ac-
cordingly?
Now let me explain how this works. What actually do I
mean when I talk about the subconscious mind? I want to
convey to you that we have two minds, a conscious or ob-
jective mind, and a subconscious or subjective mind. The
objective mind focuses upon the objective material world
out there, and it grasps and perceives reality through the
give senses. It has also been called the male part of the
mind. The subconscious mind, by contrast, is the subjec-
tive mind, and has been called the female mind. It is not
concerned with perception of reality but actually creates
reality for us according to what we feed it with through
our thoughts and emotions. Thus this subjective or inner
mind is like a field or acre that can be seeded in order to

30
INTRODUCTION

growth fruit. According to what you sow in it, you reap at


the time of harvest.
The subconscious mind, unlike the conscious mind, is
not able to discriminate between true and false. It accepts
anything that is written on it by the conscious mind. That
is why all kinds of suggestive therapies, be they religious
or mundane are possible. People kiss a certain stone, wor-
ship a relic, caress the bone of a saint, go into certain wa-
ters that are supposed to have healing powers, or they go
on a pilgrimage to a far-away monastery: they do all this in
the firm belief that they will be cured of their disease. And
they are! But why?
Because they believe in it
so strongly that they impreg- Why not adopting a
nate their subconscious mind positive attitude and
to a point that this inner mind learn how to pro-
accepts as true what they af- gram your subcon-
firm. And when that hap- scious mind accord-
pens, a healing is certain, but ingly?
it may be temporary. Many
who have been moved by certain ceremonies in which they
saw many people flock for a common purpose, and where
there was a lot of chanting and dancing, and music, and
exhilaration, have experienced short-time healing.
The problem is that after a while, a few weeks later, the
hypnotic effect vanished off and they were as miserable as
before. Why was that? Because they had been in a delirium
created by the ambience of the event. However, true and

31
THE BETTER LIFE

lasting healing requires us to participate in a more engaged


manner in our healing process. This positive engagement
is absolutely necessary to insure a long-term healing. What
does it imply?
It requires you to take responsibility for your disease first
of all. This means that you need to find the cause of it in
the first place. The cause is always in the thought realm,
not in outward reality. What you see in the life around you
is effects. Its not the cause. The cause is within yourself, it
is in your way to think and how positively or negatively
you energize your thoughts with emotions. In other words,
its how you react to events in your life.
If, for example, you notice that you are abrasive in your
relations with others, that you have strong feelings of re-
sentment, that you hold on to peeves and grudges, once
you feel inside, you will recognize your inner turmoil. You
will become aware that there is not a peaceful moment in
your mind and that you are all torn up in strife and con-
flict. Thus, when you realize that you know that you are in
a state of inner war! This should be a signal for you to take
another position altogether and get on a new track! In that
case you need to make peace with not only yourself, your
younger self, your past self, but also with others, all people
who have had an impact in your life, either positively or
negatively. As long as you havent done that step, the re-
membrance of these people will be a bother to you, it will
leave a sting in your mind every time you think of them,
and this will prevent you from experiencing true inner peace.

32
INTRODUCTION

Hence, to make peace with both yourself and all peo-


ple you ever met in your life is the first priority in your
new orientation of building a life that is better than good.

Q & A Session
Q. Are you satisfied with your current life? Or do you
wish to change or improve it? What is your attitude to-
ward material riches? Are you jealous to see others being
richer than you?
A. These questions are the starting point of the present
selfhelp book. You should ask them honestly to yourself
and find definite answers. It is only when you sincerely
question yourself about the fundamentals of your life that
you can start to live a life that is better than good.

Q. Do you think that life is a chance event, and that


there are such things as good luck and bad luck?
A. The mass mind has it to belittle the importance of
our thoughts upon reality. And our science only most re-
cently began to find out that thoughts and intentions really
have a measurable impact upon matter. This was known to
ancient philosophers but was denied by mechanistic sci-
ence for the last about four hundred years, but now we got
the proof that our thoughts really are energy streams that
have a vibrational impact upon the creation and change of
matter. As this is so, you will easily understand that your
thoughts are the blueprint for the circumstances of your

33
THE BETTER LIFE

life. Hence, you need to think in the proper manner in or-


der to bring your life up to the highest standard.

Q. Have you ever observed your thoughts? Can you


make out a predominant line or characteristic in the qual-
ity of your thoughts? Can you say that they are either pre-
dominantly negative or predominantly positive?
A. We all have negative thoughts in a while, but its
different for the person who thinks predominantly in a
negative way. In ordinary language, we call such a person
a negative person. This is interesting as a usage of lan-
guage for here you see that we actually associate a person
with the content of their predominant thoughts.

Q. Have you been conditioned to believe that you have


precise reasons to assume that you are worse off than oth-
ers; or have you had the feeling as a child that you were
not loved at all by your parents?

A. You should ask these other questions to yourself to


have clarity about how you face yourself, how you meet
yourself, namely if you meet your self-talk, as a friend or
as an enemy. If the latter is the case, you must not wonder
that you are following the scarcity principle, for if you
dont accept your greatness, who will?

Q. Is acceptance something you must have experienced


in childhood or you wont be able to carry it over into your
adult life? Or is it rather an act of self-acceptance which is
going to override whatever you experienced in terms of
being accepted, or not, as a child?
34
INTRODUCTION

A. In this book, I defend the latter point of view. I am


saying throughout this book that self-acceptance is the
point of departure of all, and any, selfhelp programs.

Without self-acceptance, you cannot honestly strive for


anything extraordinary in your life and you will be like
most people: going for bottomline! I wrote this book for
you to long and strive for more than bottomline, much
more! A life that is better than good is simply a good life,
and a good life is a great, extraordinary, unusual life. It
must be a life of your own making for we are all born
equal in the sense that our starting point is helplessness.
As an infant, you depended on your mother, and later,
on your father, but now you are an adult which means you
should depend solely upon yourself! That means you have
build autonomy in your life, self-reliance and a feeling of
independence. This independence, then, is the starting
point for interdependence, which is the necessary spirit for
collaboration with others. And collaborate you must, for
achieving great success!
As a patient, when you are sick, you need to become
aware that ultimately, not the doctor is responsible for
your disease, but you yourself! In this spirit of responsibil-
ity or response ability, you build awareness of the fact that
all disease is an imbalance in the body, for the natural con-
dition is health, and balance! Hence, when you are sick,
you can respond to that sickness in a variety of ways: you
can respond to it by denying a response altogether, and
leave it over to chemicalspharmaceuticalsto get you

35
THE BETTER LIFE

back into balance (chances are they wont be doing the job)
or you begin to see in which ways you have contributed to
the the lack of ease (dis-ease) in your body.

For example, when you suffer from gout (arthritis),


you build awareness about your diet and you see that the
causes of too much of uric acid in your blood. The cause
simply is a diet that is too acidic, lots of seafood, eggs and
meat, lots of alcohol, too much of fried or stir-fried food,
not enough alkaline substances such as fresh fruits, beans,
lentils, etc. Also, you may lack healthy exercise and your
kidneys have become lazy for its the kidneys which re-
move acidity from the blood.
As you see this, you will bring your body back into
balance simply through a change of diet, and you do not
even need a doctor for doing that.
By the same token, you do not need a life coach and no
need for expensive seminars for bringing your life into a
healthy balance. You just need to watch your thoughts and
your self-talk and remedy negativity through forgiveness
and putting your past behind you.
Negativity prevents you from experiencing true inner
peace, and without inner peace, you cant achieve great-
ness. All great achievements have been made by humans
because they have built inner peace, a silent mind, for it is
the silent mind that achieves great things in life!

36
Chapter One
The Law of Attraction

Let not these thoughts afflict you, I shall live unhon-


ored and be nobody nowhere.

EPICTETUS

Do you deserve the best? There is no law that says you


dont, there is no legislation that positions you at the lower
end of fortune. So let us ask, what is the determinant force
for you to attract what you want? It is the Law of Attraction.
You attract to you those things, events and people of which
you have a mental equivalent in your mind. Using the law
of attraction means to build into your mind the mental
equivalent of what you wish to attract.

Actually the Law of Attraction is only a secondary law


to the primary law which is the Law of Vibration. We attract
THE BETTER LIFE

certain things or circumstances because we have the men-


tal equivalent of these in our mind; in other words, we
generally attract what are recurrently think about, espe-
cially if our thoughts are charged with emotions, and when
they are accompanied by visual images. But what is this
so? It is so because thoughts are vibrations, our entire body
is a vibrational emitter; it vibrates and these vibrations en-
ter in a state of resonance with other minds and bodies,
and even with concepts, ideas, and with material things.
Not only is out body a very fine-tuned vibrational unit, but
also our psyche; our emotions are vibrational streams, they
are streams of energy. You attract to you positively what
you positively vibrate with (which is part of your recurring
positive thoughts); vice versa you attract negative things
because you vibrate with negative people or events, as a
matter of your thoughts. Thus the art of attracting the right
things to you is to fine-tune the vibrations of your recur-
ring thoughts and emotions. Positive vibrations are higher
than negative vibrations, hence the whole art is to bring up
your entire vibrational field to a higher frequency!

See Peter Fritz Walter, The Vibrant Nature of Life: Scientific Se-
crets for Your Journey Through Space and Time (2014).

Now, let us put first things first and look at the nega-
tive side of this law! Actually, many of you will simply be-
lieve that this entire idea of a law of attraction is a market-
ing trick! Or a New Age tag to be glued on certain books
to sell more of them

38
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

But dont be misled. You and me have used the law of


attractionthe problem is that we used it negatively!
We have attracted that bad childhood we are complain-
ing about, if we wanted it or not. Karma or whatever you
may call it, expresses that we have attracted all those nega-
tive circumstances when others have attracted the right
ones for their development!
This, you cannot deny, except you are a cynic and you
think that all in life is just random! Well, thats a comfort-
ing belief, isnt it? It helps you to hide and say: I am not
responsible for my life! All is a matter of good luck or bad
luck.
But this cynicism is just another defense against the
truth that we do use the law of attraction, and that it really
exists. I have researched biographies of highly successful
people for now three decades and found that invariably
these people do something about how they are looking at
life, how they are coming at life, and how they grab what
they want from life.
Logically, if we can attract negative events and people
into our lives, we can also use the law positively and attract
what we really want.
The problem is when you deal with a law, it works also
if you dont use it intently, consciously. If you put your fin-
gers in the wall socket, the law of electricity will teach you
that if you use it inattentively, you may be killed. When
you use the law of attraction without caring for the out-

39
THE BETTER LIFE

come, you still attract something, but it may not be what


you really want.
That is the reason why
there are now films and pub- Do you deserve the
lications about how to use best? There is no law
the law of attraction posi- that says you dont,
tively, putting your full in- there is no legislation
tention behind your desires, that positions you at
making sure also that those the lower end of for-
desires are acceptable within tune.
your given culture so that
they can gain the support of
others.

Without support, it is difficult to be even half-way suc-


cessful in any field. This support, however, is also some-
thing we need to attract. When you first come up with a
new idea, it may face opposition; you may be in a minority
position and need to attract the support of a small but
dedicated group of people who believe in it. Then, to-
gether, you can propagate the idea and bring it to final suc-
cess. But if you are all alone, not even having one single
friend who takes sides with you and supports your idea, it
will be virtually impossible to realize your idea.

This book is not specifically about the law of attraction.


There are many good books about it now.
The present book is more general in its overall inten-
tion to help you discover how your life can be better than
good. But I wont leave you at this point without giving

40
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

you some basic advice. To use the law of attraction posi-


tively, you need to render it fully conscious at first! That
means you need to build a thorough awareness of what
you really want in life. This, in turn, requires you to get
your focus off all the things you do not want in life, what
you may call your problems. What you focus upon you
strengthen, you energize with your awareness.
Thats why focusing on your problems gets you more
of them. Instead, you can focus on what you really want!
This does not mean you deny having the problems you
have, its not a game of blind mans buff with yourself. You
know whats going wrong in your life, nobody needs to
tell you. But you do not need to put your daily focus upon
those problems by talking about them, by writing about
them, by discussing them with friends.
Doing so doesnt help you at all, it makes it all only
worse for in that case you are using the law of attraction
negatively.

The more you take your focus off your problems, the
more you will energize your desires. You can use affirma-
tions and you can visualize what you want to attract into
your life. A simple affirmation you can use is this:

Every day, in every way, all works out for my best.

If your problem is bad health, use this affirmation:

41
THE BETTER LIFE

Every day, and in every way, I am feeling better and bet-


ter. Good health is mine now!

Generally speaking, you need to develop an awareness


of the content of your thoughts, not to forcefully control them
as that is of little use, but to be aware of them.
That also means that you deliberately work on build-
ing an awareness of your self-talk, the way you talk to your-
self, the way you argue with yourself, the way you lead
monologues in your mind about certain issues. If this self-
talk is spiteful, if it is tinted by hatred and feelings of re-
venge, you can hardly attract anything good into your life,
if it is lacking self-respect and you are making yourself
down constantly you are expressing toward yourself that
you havent deserved anything good or better than what
you are experiencing now.
As stopping thought while it is an idea in some relig-
ions, does not really work, what you can do is to put a posi-
tive thought behind every negative thought that you discover.

This means that you do not forcefully interfere with


your thoughts, but you gently direct them to becoming
more positive, more inspired by goodwill, love and respect
for self and others, in one word: more loving!
It also means that you involve your heart more in your
thoughts, thereby developing more inner coherence which
research has shown to be the prime success factor in life:

See Doc Childre & Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence (2004)

42
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

Involving your heart in your thought means that you


achieve a balance between feeling and thinking, between
compassion and reasoning. It is an age-old idea promoted
by Buddhism and usually put in the term to have compas-
sion for all sentient beings, but it is now corroborated by
HeartMath Research. (See Annex 1). The authors write on
p. 55 of their book:

A mind (or organization) without heart is scat-


tered, impulsive, and easily distracted. Emo-
tions (and organizations) without the intelligent
balance that comes from the heart create flash
fires of instability and waste, causing people to
stay locked in self-justified mental loops, miss-
ing a heart intelligent perspective that could
offer deeper understanding. Incoherence rules.
(People leave). Groups operating only on in-
stinct arising from gut feelings and often based
in fear stay constrained in modalities that im-
prison the spirit and age prematurely. The heart
puts first things first, from the 7 trillion cells it
nourishes to the life it sustains to the vitality it
ensuresintuitive, intelligent, businesslike;
core, fundamental; the first priority.

While this research focused on how the heart can be


activated within cognitive processes in the corporate set-
ting, especially for boosting performance, the findings are
of course equally valid on the individual level. For exam-
ple, if you seek a partner or friends who genuinely care for

43
THE BETTER LIFE

you, you need to build the mental equivalent for attracting


it to you. You can only do this if you involve your heart in
your thinking process, and actually irradiate that feeling of
genuine care toward others and the world.
We can only attract what we already have within us as
a potential energy. All in life is vibration and every thought
and every emotion have a vibrational frequency. The lower
emotions and thoughts have a relatively low frequency,
while feelings of love and care have a higher frequency. By
gradually purifying your thoughts, you change your entire
vibration into a higher level of frequency, thereby being able
to attract that vibration into your life in the form of others
who care and are loving in their behavior toward you.

Another important advice regarding the law of attrac-


tion is how you deal with news. You need to be aware that
the media make more money when they sensationalize the
news. Good and joyful news are not bringing the same
amount of readers and thus much less revenues than bad
and horrible news. Thats one of several reasons why you
can hardly find any good news when you are watching
the news. Much to the contrary, you are actually boosted
into a negative mood or drive which may then take over in
your sleep, producing self-defeating and negative dreams.
The next morning you wake up depressed and perhaps do
not consciously remember the dreams, but you begin your
day in a negative mood. Why? Your subconscious mind is
not able to judge, it cannot deliberately reject any news, it
will absorb it all as the truth.

44
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

That is why you need to be careful about what you


ingest on a daily basis, what kind of media content you are
watching or listening to, what sort of blogs you are read-
ing, and how critical, or not, you are in believing what you
are told. Your rational mind can make out what is true and
what may have been exaggerated but your subconscious
mind cannot do that; it will take it all by the word and
consider it as true.

That is one of the reasons why you should never fall


asleep in front of your television, for your critical rational
mind is at rest, in that situation, and the entire often highly
violent and negative media content flows directly into
your subconscious mind. Then you may not wonder why
you are attracting the same kind of things into your life
Another important truth
about the law of attraction is Thats why focusing
that you cannot attract what on your problems
in your mind you deny, re- gets you more of
ject or condemn. them. Instead, you
To come back to our ini- can focus on what
tial example, if you envy you really want!
your rich neighbor and con-
demn his wealth, and his
stretch limo, or his beautiful wife and children, you cannot
attract those things into your life. However, if you bless
that family and wish them well, you open the door to re-
ceiving alike! That is why feelings of jealousy and envy are
so destructive; its not because religious scriptures are say-

45
THE BETTER LIFE

ing so, but because these negative emotions leave your


inner landscape behind like a desert; they are devastating
your peace of mind, they are undermining your self-
esteem and they are blocking your positive energy.
How to deal with these emotions, especially if they are
particularly virulent in your life? There is an effective way
to do so, its giving a blessing! When you give a blessing,
you are accepting the situation as it is. Remember what we
were learning about acceptance, of the purifying effect it
has. I do not mean to become sentimental at this point, it is
really so and you can take it at face value! When you bless
others, you are blessed, the positive energy returns to you
and brings you many riches down the road. When you re-
peatedly bless your neighbor, you will see how these viru-
lent negative emotions gradually vanish off, and you feel
great and liberated, as if your inner space suddenly had
become larger. It is really so. By practicing acceptance, you
build more latitude of mind, and you become a more open-
minded person.
My biographical research has shown me that all highly
successful people are open-minded and their thinking is
big, spacious; they have more latitude of mind than most
average people.

46
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

Q & A Session
Q. What is the Law of Attraction? If you havent experi-
enced the positive side of this law (yet), have you at least
experienced the negative side of it?

A. You certainly have got the idea of that long ago, but
you may not have reasoned it all out. People who have ex-
perienced but the negative workings of the law of attrac-
tion usually put the entire idea off and create a mental
shield against the truth: they argue that they were born on
the wrong side of the tracks, did not have the right connec-
tions or were born into the wrong family. They do this to
shift responsibility away from them, and by doing so, they
give up control over their lives.

Q. Have you studied biographies of successful people?


What do you think is it that they do differently than ordi-
nary people?
A. Napoleon Hill and other researchers in the field of
success research have shown that all high achievers follow
a set of principles in their lives. Hill found precisely 14
such principles. They can be studied and learnt, and it is
not a function of IQ to master them. For example, regard-
ing Henry Ford, he wrote that his IQ was probably not
above average but he was practicing a almost stubborn
persistence and that endurance paid him great dividends.
In the case of Albert Einstein, we know he had a very high
IQ of about 192, but he was known to say that he had
achieved high in life not because of that, but because of his

47
THE BETTER LIFE

doggedness. But apart from these principles that you may


study or not study and apply or not apply for yourself, it is
a fact that mastering your thoughts is way more important
because its your thoughts that constitute, through their
vibrational impact upon matter, the blueprint of your life.

Q. Have you doubted the law of electricity at any time


in your life? Did you need to put your finger in the wall
socket in order to know how electricity feels in the body?
By the same token, would you need a litmus test to know
if the Law of Attraction works?
A. What you need to do, first of all, so that the Law of
Attraction can work positively for you is to apply it posi-
tively for you. When you enter your house, you turn on
the light by turning a switch. You are using the law of elec-
tricity positively. When you want to attract all the good
you can have in your life, you turn on the Law of Attraction
by thinking correctly, by praying correctly, by fostering
correct and universally approvable intentions!

Q. Is there anything you should not do so that you can


fully profit from the benefits of the Law of Attraction?
A. Yes, you should avoid the capital sin, and there is
only one: it is to condemn things, people, ideas, money, or
anything for that matter. Condemnation is the sure blocker
of the law of attraction in its positive outcome; instead
what you get is that others will condemn you!

Q. What happens when you take your focus off your


problems?
48
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

A. Very simply, the vanish into the background of your


thoughts and this takes the energy off them; they will van-
ish from your life as a result. Have you experienced that
not when you took your attention off certain people? Did
they not vanish off your life?

Q. What is self-talk? Have you ever observed your own


self-talk? Would you qualify it as positive or negative?

A. You most certainly are aware that you dialogue with


yourself, and this quite constantly. Now, get into it again,
and watch it carefully, do not condemn it, do not try to
force you to talk only positively with myself. That doesnt
work. You need to simply observe the movement of your
thoughts and your self-talk.
Does it make a movement? Certainly so. It is constantly
in movement, constantly going from one to the next, from
A to B, from you to other people, from the past toward the
present, and so on. You cannot consciously control your
self-talk. You can only observe it passively, but this action
or rather non-action, is very important for our consciousness
is self-cleaning and self-renewing and it changes without our
awareness. You will note that after you have learnt the
habit of passively watching your self-talk, this self-talk will
gradually vanish off, to a point that after perhaps several
years of practice, you have a completely silent mind. Do
not tell me that it doesnt work. I did it and it today I have
a completely silent mind. But it took me well about twenty
years ...

49
THE BETTER LIFE

Q. Do you think you need to stop thinking altogether


in order to live with more self-awareness, or is there a bet-
ter way of doing that?

A. Certainly not. Thinking is involved in all intellectual


processes, in all routines, in all technology. We need think-
ing as much as inner silence. Both functions have their
place in life.

Q. How would you define inner coherence?


A. It can quite easily be defined as an alignment be-
tween your conscious thoughts and your heart, or simply,
between your brain and your heart. Consequently, the re-
searchers involved in this cutting-edge research found that
we have a brain IQ and a heart IQ. Both these IQs must
communicate with one another for a person to build inner
coherence. And this is really important for this research
has shown that high performance in any field is the conse-
quence of inner coherence! Hence, for achieving high and
getting the results you want, you need to be mindful of
inner coherence.

Q. What is it that you need to do to attract what you


desire? Is there anything you need to build prior to being
able to benefit from the Law of Attraction?
A. Yes, you need to build awareness of your thought
process, and you need to qualify your thought content as to
being either constructive or destructive. You cant attract
success to yourself if you condemn the entire world, for
what you condemn flees you. If you condemn money as

50
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

filthy lucre, for example, you cannot attract more money


into your life. It will take wings and will desert you.

Q. Do you think its possible to raise the vibrancy, the


frequency of your thoughts to a higher and more subtle
level? Why should that be important?
A. It is important for all the good things in life, and
their mental equivalent as good thoughts have a high vibra-
tion compared to ordinary things and corresponding nega-
tive thoughts.

Q. Why do you think a media diet is a good idea?


A. It is not obligatory for building success, but if you
refuse to engage in it, it is recommended to watch what
you ingest in terms of information, on a daily basis. Just
passively observe what kind of information you are taking
in on a daily basis. Is it media gossip? Is it the midnight
thriller? Is it the news about rape and murder? Be aware
that you are responsible for all you are taking in, both in
terms of physical and in terms of mental food! So if this
media diet of yours is focused upon all the things that are
abject in life, and in people who are doing the wrong
things, you must not wonder why you are attracting the
mental equivalent of these things into your own life.

Q. Why can you not attract what you condemn? What,


then, is the best way of triggering the attraction of what
you really desire?

51
THE BETTER LIFE

A. The magic word is praise. Praise all the people who


have those things you desire, who have the money, the
good taste, the right partner, the wonderful children, the
ideal job, etc. And also understand that you have the right
to have those things you desire, hence tell to yourself every
time you see those things, the wonderful car or house you
need, the clothes you love to buy, the vacations you want,
say This is mine in divine order. Never say I cant afford
it. Affirm your right for abundance and a luxury, extraor-
dinary life, a life that is better than good.

52
Chapter Two
Latent Thoughts Manifest

A mans life is what his thoughts make of it.

MARCUS AURELIUS

Your subconscious mind cannot reason. It reacts. It is


your task to imprint whatever you wish upon it. If you re-
fuse doing that, your daily thoughts will, and the result
may be unpredictable. Most people are not aware of the
fact that if they remain oblivious of their latent thoughts,
the content of those thoughts manifests in one way or the
other, especially when thoughts are nourished by strong
emotions.
For example, if you have the habit to condemn people
because they are richer than you, or because they own a
THE BETTER LIFE

certain car that you always wished to have, you are implic-
itly condemning the money these people have and that you
dont. In such a moment your condemning the very thing
you want leads to repelling that thing. Its like you are us-
ing the law of attraction negatively, thereby attracting the
opposite of what you want.
You want to use the
law of attraction wisely in
Our thoughts are fer-
order to attract all those
tile. They are seeds.
things that you desire. But
We shall reap what
when you condemn, you
we sow.
act against attraction be-
cause your subconscious
mind cannot reason. It will dutifully carry out what you
have imprinted upon it. What have you imprinted?
You have imprinted I do not like money. I hate money.
It corrupts people. Only a corrupt person can have the
money to buy such a car.

As a result your subconscious mind will try its best to


not attract more money into your life, and you will en-
counter failure.
Now let me give you a positive example. Dr. C. always
wanted to be a natural healer. Yet when he started his
medical career, he was encountering an outspoken resis-
tance against his ideas. He did not hesitate to criticize the
medical vocational training that emphasizes the prescrip-
tion of drugs over softer and less stressful healing proce-
dures.

54
LATENT THOUGHTS MANIFEST

But he did not react counter to the spurious comments


of other doctors, nor did he give up. He persevered. Even-
tually he published his first book and his colleagues ar-
gued it would surely not find readers, as they were con-
vinced that only drug-based medicine was effective and
scientifically sound.
But despite their infighting, Dr. C. published his book
successfully and for the first time made some money on
top of his salary as a hospital surgeon. He believed in the
power of his subconscious mind. He constantly imprinted
on his inner mind his conviction that he is to succeed be-
cause he fights for the right cause, the cause of natural
healing, which learns from nature instead of trying to be
smarter than nature. He also
found that his patients were For the first time he
responsive to his ideas as he
made some money
uttered them in a manner to
on top of his salary as
propose an alternative, not in
a hospital surgeon.
a manner to make a dogma
of his conviction. By so do-
ing, he empowered the patient to choose. Choosing is
something intrinsically human. We always choose. And
when we have a choice, we feel empowered.

After publishing a few more books, Dr. C. could retire


from his hospital job and open his private practice as a
natural healer. He spent much more time now with writing
more books and all his books became worldwide successes
and were translated into many languages.

55
THE BETTER LIFE

After some more years, he was interviewed by a news-


paper asking what he considered to be the secret of his
success; he simply answered:

I knew that I was fighting for the right cause, the


cause that empowers the patient and at the same time the
right cause because nature cannot be wrong.
Upon the question if he did not suffer from feelings of
retaliation against his aggressive colleagues who tried to
discredit him, he very calmly repliedquoted from mem-
ory:

When you know inside of you that you are


right and others are wrong, because you are
using a form of knowledge they refuse to learn,
then you can actually only pity them, you cant
be angry in that moment. And you also know
that later on, a few years down the road, they
will change their mind because they have learnt
something new. This is so because an idea
whose time has come cannot be unthought. In
other words, truth will always gain the over-
hand over ignorance. The question is only how
long it will take. It could have taken more than
one life, but probably my inner passion about it
all was so strong that it happened faster, so fast
actually that today I can enjoy the fame and the
rewards, and many people inside the medical
establishment now have openly declared their
heart-felt association with my cause. As a result,
medical science has become wiser, more effec-

56
LATENT THOUGHTS MANIFEST

tive and more human, and it produces lesser


side effects than before.

What can we learn from Dr. C.s success story? It shows


us that latent thoughts really do manifest in the material
world. This is true especially when these thoughts are re-
curring and nourished by a constant will and intention to
bring about a personal success while at the same time serv-
ing the world. Also, on the emotional level, it is important
that these thoughts are nourished by positive, outgoing
and passionate emotions; and here its very important to
realize that what we see in the lives of people who are not
on the road of success is that they also nourish their recur-
rent thoughts (of failure) with emotions, but these emo-
tions are negative and destructive. They are emotions that
are impregnated by feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, de-
pression or even hatred, emotions that are upside-down so
to speak. In many cases, we see that people who moil and
toil, as busy as they may be for succeeding on a daily basis,
are focusing on their lack, and their want, thereby bringing
about more lack and more want. Then, when success does
not come along their way, they tend to argue: I knew it in
advance. I felt it from the start that this project will be a
failure once a again!
Self-righteousness, while cherished by some religions
or religious movements, is not actually an emotion that is
conducive to success. All the great people were and are
basically humble, and basically non-judgmental. They do
not foster the belief that they are more deserving of success
57
THE BETTER LIFE

than others around them, or others whom they know have


succeeded in their lives.
With the subject of latent thoughts we enter the much
written about notions of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-
confidence. Why are the latent thoughts of a self-confident
person more positive than those of a person who is inse-
cure? This has to do with the psychological insight into the
fact of compensation. Our psyche, more precisely our sub-
conscious mind, always seeks balance and tries to compen-
sate for any imbalance in our mind. Hence when you feel
insecure or inadequate, you will try to compensate for
those feelings of insecurity or inadequacy by pretending in
relationships to be on top of everything, to be in control,
and to know better than most other people.
In fact, people do not perceive your true value by what
you verbally affirm, if their intuition tells them differently.
To stay with our example, a self-righteous person may
be perceived by others are a pretender or a person who
tries to dominate others by a superior attitude. This pre-
vents the building of deep trust in relationships with that
person, and that can be a handicap if support and coopera-
tion are needed for succeedingwhich is more often than
not the case in life. Hence, if you were that person, you
could avoid the trap of compensation by building aware-
ness of your feelings of insecurity (inadequacy) and in-
stead of pretending to be on top, reveal this fact to others
in a simple and humble manner: others will then recognize
you good intention and become supportive.

58
LATENT THOUGHTS MANIFEST

In many selfhelp books,


Self-righteousness,
its written that you need to
change your thoughts in or-
while cherished by
der to change your life. That
some religions or re-
is basically true but how to ligious movements, is
change your thoughts from not actually an emo-
negative to positive if your tion that is conducive
overall feelings about your- to success.
self are negative? In other
words, if you foster negative
emotions, it is inevitable that these destructive emotions
negatively affect your way of thinking and feeling about
yourself.

Thus the crucial question is not primarily about chang-


ing your thoughts but how you feel about yourself! What do
you think: is it easy to change the way you feel about
yourself? No. What about thinking about others? Is it eas-
ier to change that? Yes. Strangely, it is easier to start think-
ing about others in more positive terms, and once you
achieve progress herethen apply this positive thinking
also for the relationship with yourself!
Let me give an example. Linda B. was known in her
workplace as a person who had a tendency to fault-find all
her colleagues for not being up to the task. One day, she
went to the company psychologist, complaining of strong
and recurring migraines every time she was at work. As
they were talking, Linda admitted that she often felt not up
to the task, being afraid to one day being blamed for un-

59
THE BETTER LIFE

derperformance. The psychologist was astonished as she


knew from others in the team that it was Linda B. who was
the most outspoken for the underperformance of others
around her. Confronted with the truth of how she came
over to others, Linda realized what a burden she had on
her shoulders, feeling responsible for all the members of
the crew, while on the other hand not able to feel secure
about her own performance.
From the day of this insight, Thus the crucial
the migraines vanished and
question is not pri-
Linda began to more closely
marily about chang-
observe her colleagues. She
ing your thoughts but
found after a while that each
how you feel about
of them had not only their
yourself!
personal weaknesses but
also very specific strengths
and positive qualities, some of which Linda herself did not
possess herself. Once Linda was able to see the positive
and unique in each and every of her male and female col-
leagues, she made the further discovery that she began to
focus herself more on her positive qualities and strengths
rather than her weaknesses. This change in focus in turn
changed the emotions that were accompanying her
thoughts. While before that personal change, she had felt
predominantly negative emotions about herself, her new
positive focus upon herself triggered emotions of security,
strength, adequacy, and self-confidence, coupled with a
strong intention to bring about more of those uplifting feel-

60
LATENT THOUGHTS MANIFEST

ings. As the feelings changed, the thoughts changed; as the


thoughts changed, Lindas personal self-talk changed from
negative to positive. She had to do that because what she
was giving out mentally, she was inevitably bound to get
back. Linda eventually realized that his inner speech was
highly destructive. The inner changes she was able to bring
about were soon triggering changes in her material life and
circumstances. She was promoted to a higher responsibil-
ity and a better salary, and was eventually assigned to be-
ing team leader.

Q & A Session
Q. What are your latent thoughts? In which way are
they creative?
A. You have learnt in the first chapter that our thoughts
are creative, that they are material vibrations and have a
direct impact on our world. They are actually shaping our
entire life experience. Thus they are the causes in your life
and what you see around you, that outside reality and the
people there, and the circumstances you encounter, all this
are effects. Always behold that the cause of life is within
you, as you as a human being are a co-creator of the uni-
verse! This is the intrinsic power you haveuse it wisely!

Q. Have you experienced the creativity of your latent


thoughts in positive or rather in negative waysif so, re-
member at least one incident.
A. Please provide yourself the answer.

61
THE BETTER LIFE

Q. What can we learn from Dr. C.s success story? Was


he an especially willful and obstinate person? Was he so
much smarter than all the others, or was he just lucky? Did
he have better social connections than other medical doc-
tors? What was the reason of his success?
A. You will remember that he was pretty much an or-
dinary doctor. I did not relate in the story if he was a gen-
ius or not, but I think he is not. He is a smart man, as you
are smart in your own way but he was not a person with a
track record. In addition, he was an immigrant in the coun-
try where he succeeded. He had come to that country after
he got his doctor degree in India. So we cannot say that he
was a privileged person. And yet, you remember the other
part of the story: he did succeed very well and made a lot
of money on top of it, but he did not strictly do what he
did for the money. He did it for the cause he defends, the
cause of alternative medicine, and he did it because hes a
passionate person, somebody you can rely upon, some-
body who is firm and stout, and enduring. Hes a man
Napoleon Hill would probably have included about in his
book had he lived closer to our current time. The most im-
portant to remember about Dr. C. is that he was believing in
himself and in the cause he defended.

Q. What is needed so that your recurring latent thoughts


manifest in the material world?
A. This was a trap question, are you aware of it? Your
latent thoughts manifest anyway as they are recurring. All
recurring thoughts manifest in our lives, the question is
62
LATENT THOUGHTS MANIFEST

only how! Thus we are responsible for the way they create
reality, for its not only our reality we create, as this reality
also affects other people!

That means we are actually not free to just do what we


want, and foster destructive thoughts, for they will con-
tribute to the negative reality not only of ourselves, but
also of other people!

Q. How do emotions impact upon our thoughts? Are


we positive or negative thinkers by nature, or by condi-
tioningwhat do you think?
A. I will not provide an answer here for the question
could be answered in both ways; but I tend to believe my-
self that we are naturally positive thinkers and that we turn
negative through early abuse. (Of course, you may think
differently about it).

Q. Is the quality of our thoughts perhaps the result of


the emotions that accompany them? Have you observed
how bad feelings about yourself trigger negative thoughts
and responses to events?
A. I do not want to make a generalization here, but for
me personally, I have well observed that when I am con-
stantly nagging myself, when I am discontent with myself,
I tend to have negative views about the world and other
people, too.

Q. What is the value, if any, of self-righteousness. What


is more conducive for success than feeling superior over

63
THE BETTER LIFE

others? How would you name this quality in one simple


word?
A. I would think we should call it feeling adequate. In
transactional analysis, this is called in a slogan I am okay,
you are okay. What you agree with that? Behold, do not
confused righteousness and self-righteousness. As the Bi-
ble talks often times about righteousness, I think I should
elucidate this point. Righteousness is a good quality. It is
the conscious intent to do what is right, to engage in right
action, to do things at the right time, in the right way and
for the right people. But self-righteousness is a different
matter altogether; it means I am feeling superior over you
because I believe that only I have the power and the ability
to be righteous, not you. This is a negative quality, and it
has brought much destruction in the world and much hu-
man suffering. Adolf Hitler was self-righteous, he believed
he had the only truth and that all other people were mis-
guided and had to be instructed to know the truth. And
what a destroyer was this man, what a destroyer of people,
of culture, and of civilization!

Q. What are the values of self-esteem, self-worth, and


self-confidence?

A. I think they can be summarized in what I already


mentioned: feeling adequate. When you feel that you are
okay and that others are okay, when you feel you are ade-
quate, you naturally have high self-esteem and self-worth,
and you are believing in yourself, thus you have self-
confidence.
64
LATENT THOUGHTS MANIFEST

Q. How do the people around you essentially perceive


your value as a person? Is it that you need to affirm your-
self by promoting yourself?

A. Have you observed when at a party somebody talks


for long periods of time and lets the others listen? What do
you think other party members will think about that per-
son? Will they not think that he or she wants to be in the
center of attention, believes that he or she has more to say,
and more important things to say than everybody else?
And will they think that the person has a high value? I be-
lieve its quite the contrary; when somebody is perceived
to be self-centered, that person will be considered as lower
in value as a person who is more balanced and gives oth-
ers an equal opportunity for voicing themselves.

Q. What is the problem with verbally describing your


qualities to others? Is it needed at all?
A. Similarly to what I just pointed out under the previ-
ous question, I believe that we better do not point out our
qualities to others, except perhaps in a job interview but
even there, it should be done with caution.
We all know that we silently perceive the qualities of a
person intuitively, and the more the person herself puts the
stress upon self-expression, that person is perceived as pur-
suing a course of self-glorification. Let others find out by
themselves what value you have as a person. Dont bother
about it; when you are relaxed about it, you will see that
nothing is needed for self-promotion. When you are honest

65
THE BETTER LIFE

and you respect others, you will be respected and people


will find out your value.

Q. How would you describe the behavior and relation-


ship pattern Linda B. was suffering from?
A. Please give yourself the answer.

Q. How did she eventually get it right, transforming


her life after a serious talk with the company psychologist?
A. Please provide yourself the answer.

66
Chapter Three
The Creative Process

Give yourself time to learn something new and


good, and cease to be whirled around.

MARCUS AURELIUS

You should never sit in front of a blank piece of paper


and have no idea what to write, and how to write it. Your
book should write itself.

How is this going to happen? It works through involv-


ing your subconscious mind in the creative process.
It manifests through a flow of writing coming out from
your hand without a hard participation of your thinking
process. Conscious thoughts and subconscious content ac-
tually mix in this process, and you need to be in a relaxed
state for that to happen.
THE BETTER LIFE

But the most important is that before you are even go-
ing to sit down to write the first sentence of your book, you
need to turn inward and direct your subconscious mind to
collaborate with your conscious mind. You do this through
a positive affirmation that imprints on your inner mind
what you are expecting it to do. Here is a sample prayer:

My subconscious mind is always alert and it always


participates in my creations. I am creative and ever more
creative through the involvement of my subconscious
mind in the creative process. This involvement is ongo-
ing and it is at a peak level exactly in the moment I sit in
front of a blank paper. I trust the never-ending creative
flow of my subconscious mind and I give thanks for the
wonderful creation it produces now and ever more again.

Before you sit down to write, its a good idea to have a


glass of wine when recollecting your ideas. It can also be
useful to play piano for a moment, so as to harmonize your
mind and balance your brain hemispheres.
Some people say that when we are not fully conscious,
we are more on the side of illusion or even delusion. Some
people even say that creating effortlessly was a form of
laziness. They seem to believe that all creation had to be
hard work.
Well, I sense it right away when I am reading a book if
or not it was created from an inner flow or if it was puz-
zled together bit by bit and chunk by chunk from short in-
tervals of conscious and hard thought.

68
THE CREATIVE PROCESS

In the first case, the book reads like a novel, even if its
a scientific textbook, while in the second case it rings in
your mind as something stale, dry and hard to assimilate.

To write your first sketch in a happy state of mind with


a glass of wine at your side doesnt mean you are spilling
ideas prematurely. In reality the process works in the fol-
lowing way. You write your text in a semi-conscious flow,
which is also called flow of consciousness writing style;
in this state of mind, you do not control or censor your
content by implying your critical rational mind. You just
let it flow.
Then when you feel you
have produced enough for Before you sit down
the moment, you stop and to write, its a good
take a retreat from your pro- idea to have a glass of
ject. After a few days when wine when recollect-
you feel inspired to con-
ing your ideas. It can
tinue, you do the production
also be useful to play
part of that piece of writing,
piano for a moment,
or book chapter. Then you
so as to harmonize
do it with a fresh morning
your mind and bal-
mind, and you take up your
ance your brain
sketch and give structure to
hemispheres.
it; this means that you work
with this all over the place
sketch and you let your rational critical mind take over.
In practice you may take out paragraphs, add things
on, leave things out, restructure the whole thing and pub-

69
THE BETTER LIFE

lish the new composition in the form of an essay, article or


chapter in your book. Then that piece of writing has a spe-
cific focus, and it looks rather different compared to the
original ramble. But note that the initial jotting down of
your sketch is a deliberate form of relaxation. If your friends
say that creating effortlessly is a form of laziness, let them
talk and keep smiling.
(Let them create their hard-working books, they suffer
enough doing that)! If people see relaxation or meditation
as a form of laziness, then they have a reason for doing so.
Then they see it that way because they want to see it
that way. The main reason why people have such a mind-
set is that they never found out about the essence of crea-
tion, and the role our subconscious mind plays in life, in
relationships, and in creation.
They may for that matter even go as far as denying the
existence of the unconscious thereby ignoring one of the
greatest discoveries of humanity, made at the beginning of
the 20th century by Dr. Sigmund Freud.
In other words, there are several causative factors be-
hind the magic of spontaneous creation. What happens in
these assemblages of ideas that hard thinkers may find
delusional is that they rearrange psychic content in ever
new creative ways, thereby combining psychic content and
new thought content, and also sometimes current events
happening on the world stage.
What you then do in the process of creation is to work
out an amalgam where the content of your subconscious
70
THE CREATIVE PROCESS

mind merges with new thought content and with events


that are happening all around you, or in the world.
I believe that the creative process is one of reassem-
bling undercurrent ideas and subconscious content in ever
more different ways. This is also a form of play because its
mainly your inner child who is behind this semi-conscious
process.
Thats also why in the final production state its your
inner adult who takes over as the inner child is not able to
produce a final structured piece of literary composition.
After these general terms, let me explain how to use
your subconscious mind in daily life.
You may not be a creator but a simple office worker, a
nurse, a housewife, a driver, a policeman, an entrepreneur
or a banker. How can you make good use of all the riches
contained in your subconscious mind for facing your daily
challenges? How can you find creative solutions to those
challenges? Do you believe that hard work will bring your
more success? Sometimes it does, but not always. When
does it not? When you are facing an impasse, a creative
challenge.
Thats a situation where your common way of thinking
and acting is not appropriate because it was leading you
exactly into the situation you are in now. It was good for a
certain time, it has brought you success to a certain extent,
but then suddenly you are facing a dead end. It may be
that some kind of innovation is needed in your company,
that you see that you a facing fierce competition in the
71
THE BETTER LIFE

market, while some time ago all was apparently working


fine.
Or it may be a personal situation that needs a creative
change, such as the end of a relationship, or the beginning
of another, or both at the same time. Or you simply got a
new idea and you are wondering if that fits in your present
structure or if you need to build a new structure for mar-
keting this idea in a creative manner.

You may address your inner advisor by imprinting the


following command upon your subconscious mind:

I know that the creative power in me is always active.


And it always brings a surplus, in the form of energy,
money, promotion or other blessings. This creative power
is not afraid of any challenge; in fact it loves challenges
for every challenge is an opportunity for growth. I am
facing this situation now appropriately because of the
inner guidance I am receiving, and by trusting this
guidance. My inner guide leads me and I follow, and I
know that the destination is wonderful, glorious and
blessed, and that it brings riches for all people involved.

It is useful to have a look how creators of genius han-


dle their creativity, and I refer here to a more specialized
book of mine if you are interested in this subject:

Peter Fritz Walter, Creative Genius: Four-Quadrant Creativity in


the Lives and Works of Leonardo da Vinci, Wilhelm Reich, Albert Ein-
stein, Svjatoslav Richter and Keith Jarrett (2014)

72
THE CREATIVE PROCESS

I will here outline only the general observations on the


nature of creative genius as I have outlined them in the In-
troduction of that book.

Creators anticipate their creation through insights from


the unified field.
They anticipate creation through intuition. That is what
renders the creator distinct from the craftsman.
The craftsman acts in alignment with the past, based
upon conservative values, whereas the creator acts in the
present, based upon alternative values. Crafting needs ef-
fort, creating is effortless. If effort there is, it sets in after the
basic creation, the prime creative idea. Then only, during
the production phase, consistency is needed to carry the
work through to its final achievement.
In the creative phase, however, there is chaos, not con-
sistency, disorder, not order, and the constants of life are
reshuffled, retested, reaffirmed if needed, discarded.
I got a hint of this as a student when, fascinated about
the Russian-German pianist Svjatoslav Richter, I went to
our local music store to get what I could of his records. He
was the only exception to the rule I knew at the time.
I found Richter was an artist and craftsman in one person;
he was aligned with conservative values and alternative
values at the same time, thereby breaking the rule. When I
listened to Richter, music became for me so plastic and
dramatic that I thought there must be a relativity far be-

73
THE BETTER LIFE

yond the one Einstein discovered, a relativity that is some-


thing like a law of relationships!
It was the coherence in his interpretations that triggered
the idea in me. I over again wondered how the same music
by the same composer could sound so different, plain and
genuine with Richter, and fragmented, hollow and out-
landish with another pianist?
Richters craftsmanship, the immense authenticity of
his musical diction and pianistic perfection, became for me
a metaphor for the power of art. In my younger years, I felt
more at home in the art universe than in the science world,
so my attraction to Richter felt natural. My attraction to
Einstein was of a more academic nature, initially. And yet,
I had to admit that Einstein was the greater genius, for he
was artist and scientist.
All creation sets novelty in place, a pattern of relation-
shipsthe invisible threads of potentiality woven into a
different arrangement.

The surprise is that the pattern, though novel, looks


familiar and one feels at home in every new and great
work of human genius. This is the very secret of genius; it
always feels great and true, revoltingyet simple in its
high complexity.

I was speechless most of the time when listening to


Richter, especially in my younger years, and I would cry
and weep when listening to certain favorite compositions
of mine that he played with outstanding brilliance and

74
THE CREATIVE PROCESS

grandeursuch as Rachmaninovs 2nd Piano Concerto,


Prokofievs Second Sonata, or Scriabins op. 28 Fantasy.
I believe that quantum physics teaches us that art can-
not be conventional, that it cannot, as Krishnamurti would
say, belong to the known. When novelty is rendered con-
ventional, it is no more novelty. When particles are unob-
served, they are in a state of innocence. There are dancing
with the universe, and are all over the placenonlocal.

Means , totally connected. Under the eyes of the ob-


server, they localize and become entangled with the ob-
server, thereby losing their joy of nonlocality. They become
enamored with the one and only one, their observer! Why?
Because of his attention. When my thoughts can impreg-
nate the memory surface of water, they are creative! And
by extension they can be destructive, depending on my
intentionality.
Quantum physics thus is the secret behind all creation,
behind all novelty, behind all genius. It is the matrix that
explains the unlimited genius and creative force of the
human mind! That in turn means that the quantum field as
the creational matrix is our true belonging. We are not ma-
chines, but quantum machines, patterns of complex rela-
tionships aligning energy and information. We are vibrat-
ing crystals!

What is Creativity?
Human creativeness is a latent potentiality, while crea-
tivity is to be understood as the practical realization of this
75
THE BETTER LIFE

potentiality. As long as creativity is not realized, it is poten-


tiality, and outside of space-time. When it is being realized,
it makes its way into space-time, and crystallizes in par-
ticular talent, particular genius, which is always specific.
We all are potentially creative as humans, but most of
us live with a dormant creativeness rather than an awake
creativity. Contrary to Edward de Bonos idea of serious
creativity, the deliberate effort of the mind to think differ-
ent, I believe that there is no effort in creativity, first of all.
Second, it is not thought that is creative, and can be
creative, at all. It is the space in between thoughts which
has the potential of creating novelty. It is when thought is
not that we are truly creative. As Krishnamurti has amply
explained, this is so because thought is always in the past.
It is circular, it cannot create novelty, it can only endlessly
repeat and reshuffle its content. In one word, and to repeat
it, creativity is a faculty of intuition, not of thought.
De Bono clarified from the start that his concept of seri-
ous creativity does not pertain to the creativity of the artist,
but is valid for the corporate world; it could be termed
business creativity. That is why it is deliberate and based
upon effort. I do not deny its effectiveness, but here I am
talking about general creativity, which includes artistic
creativity.
We all know that artists are creative. This is some of the
things we already learn in school. What we however did
not learn, or most of us, is that all humans are creative, in the
sense that genuine creativeness simply is a natural add-on

76
THE CREATIVE PROCESS

to the human nature. You see that with children. All chil-
dren are creative. Why are not all adults creative?
There are precise factors that make that human creativ-
ity, the practical day-to-day application of creativeness, is
thwarted. Its like a muscle you never use; it gets weaker
and weaker, and then one day, the muscle atrophies and
becomes dysfunctional. Creativity is as it were the muscle
of genuine creativeness; or we can say that creativity is the
lens through which human creativeness sees its day and
becomes visible in daily life. When we are not creative in
the practical sense, lets say in finding new ways of doing,
drafting new concepts or inventing new things, we are still
creative humans, but our lacking creativity makes that our
creativeness becomes stagnant.
Let me give some exam-
ples of genuinely creative We all know that art-
people, who were able to ists are creative. This
channel their creativeness is some of the things
into serious or not so serious we already learn in
creativity. Let me tell you school.
that this list is only the peak
of the iceberg. I would like
to mention here Pablo Picasso, Charles Chaplin, Albert
Einstein, Nikola Tesla, Fritjof Capra, Edward de Bono, Dale
Carnegie, Svjatoslav Richter, Herbert von Karajan, and
Keith Jarrett.
These ten great men, three physicists, two think tanks
and corporate coaches, and five artists, have displayed,

77
THE BETTER LIFE

and display, high creativity. When studying their life sto-


ries, their art, their musical performances, their concepts,
their patents, we see that creativity is not limited to art or
music, but displays its power as well in the corporate
world, in business, and in the technical sphere. This insight
led me to distinguish four basic realms of creativity:

Artistic Creativity

Scientific Creativity

Conceptual or Business Creativity

Technical Creativity

Let me give some examples of each. When I look at ar-


tistic creativity, I see that Picasso created modern art forms
virtually from scratch that were nonexistent before. He
ventured into realms of visual art that were so daring that
many people, until Picasso was in old age, and world-
famous, rejected his art as iconoclast vandalism, childish
immaturity or deliberate ridicule. With Charlie Chaplin
we see a man who already well-known as an actor, broke
with tradition and his former role image, to create the fig-
ure of the street vamp and charming clown, virtually from
rags and tatters found in his studio, and dared into the un-
known. He was ridiculed at first, but finally became victo-
rious after many trials.
When we look at scientific creativity, we see two men
standing out, Albert Einstein, today recognized as a uni-
versal genius, brilliant physicist, mathematician and musi-
cian (violinist), and Nikola Tesla, controversial inventor,

78
THE CREATIVE PROCESS

and creator of more than 400 patents on inventions. When


we look at conceptual or business creativity, we could look at
men like Dale Carnegie, Edward de Bono or else Sergio
Zyman, who have changed our corporate world with their
original and daring concepts.
Dale Carnegie became the first internationally known
life coach and corporate trainer and yet when he started
out, he was unable to hold a speech in front of small audi-
ence, and learnt it all from the bottom up. He created ma-
jor concepts for human resource training that today are no
more reflected about, but taken for granted. This is even
more so the case with Edward de Bono, so far in human
history the greatest and most versatile life coach and cor-
porate trainer, a think tank who has revolutionized the
business world with his brilliant concepts and insights.
He is credited as the proprietor of lateral thinking, the
6 Hats brainstorming method, tactical success training,
conflicts solution, the six action shoes, etc. With Sergio
Zyman we have a business man and corporate leader who
is a bit more controversial in that he stands out not only
through his ruthlessness but also his concept-inventiveness
when leading the Coca Cola Company to worldwide success.
While hes a controversial figure, his overall creativity for
concept-design cannot be overlooked for it stands out as
an example for how to go beyond mere marketing and in-
stead create lasting business success with deliberate con-
cept design. That it works, his successes have proven it.

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Technical creativity is very important as well, and often


visible in our media or fashion magazines. Its not only the
creativity and solution thinking of an engineer, but also the
daring creations of a couturier, interior designer, architect,
car maker, perfume distiller or shoe maker.
This kind of creativity comes over as so spontaneous
and natural that most people never even think about it. Yet
its an integral part of all cultures aesthetic achievements
and craftsmanship.

Genius and Inner Knowledge


We have seen above that integrated knowledge is quite
something different than the ordinary knowledge tradi-
tional science used to consider. Integrated knowledge al-
ways existed because it is inner knowledge. We all possess
it, but only men and women of genius use it to its fullest,
thereby benefitting from universal and perhaps superhu-
man knowledge sources. Let me exemplify this with the art
of learning the piano, and filmmaking.
When Charlie Chaplin started his fabulous career as a
film comic, he used the simplest means, and much of it
was improvised in the beginning. Chaplin was not inter-
ested in the ordinary roles that were offered to him by
producers.
Deep down he knew that he owned more power and
creativity than all those mediocre film producers did.
Charlie, the figure of the street vamp, clown and charming
guy was created from rags and utensils that Chaplin spon-
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THE CREATIVE PROCESS

taneously fit for costumes. If Charles had not followed his


intuition and not played out his cards, Charlie would
never have been born. Charlie was the ingenious Pygma-
lion of Charles.
All through my younger years, I studied biographies
and autobiographies. Among the ones that fascinated me
most was Charles Chaplins autobiography.

Charles Chaplin, My Autobiography, New York: Plume, 1992.


First published in 1964

I found he was unique because of his trusting his crea-


tive instinct, his own staralthough at the decisive point
in his life, when he began carrying out his first vision of
Charlie, everything and everyone seemed to be against
him.
We all have a tendency to look at famous and success-
ful people only from the moment they made it, overlook-
ing the many years of sacrifice and failure they have lived
through before they were famous.

Edward de Bono, the leading think tank, has written an


extraordinary book entitled Tactics: The Art and Science of
Success.

Edward de Bono: Tactics: The Art and Science of Success, Lon-


don: HarperCollins, 1993, first published in 1985

This book, which is based on the thorough human re-


source studies of Piers Dudgeon and Valerie Jennings, pre-
sents a precious pandora box full of tactical advice about
how to become successful and gain fame. The study is

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THE BETTER LIFE

based on fifty interviews with men and women who have


been outstandingly successful, among them David Bailey,
Hans Eysenck, Malcolm Forbes, Clive Sinclair, Jackie Stewart
and Virginia Wade. With his usual lucidity Edward de Bono
analyzes their different paths to success, revealing some
striking truths such as Building your strengths brings you
more success than compensating for your weaknesses or
People care is of huge importance in achieving success.

The artist where I have seen inner knowledge as if un-


der a magnifier is Pablo Picasso. Among all artists, I do not
know one who enjoyed a similar independence and inven-
tiveness. While his contemporaries, like Braque, tried to
share with him their ideas about cubism, Picasso in turn
did not need to take anything from others. At age fourteen,
he could paint like the classical masters, and its notorious
that his father gave up teaching him anything. His life was
not easy once he left his home in Malaga, leaving behind a
loving mother and a highly intelligent father, who was a
well-known art teacher. Picasso went to leave Spain and
settled in Paris, France, only a few years later.
It is also documented that when Braque and Picasso
shared an apartment in Paris, when both were very poor,
Picasso made a few canvasses in Braques style, just for the
fun of it all. Some experts believe they were better than
Braques originals. Anyway, it led to the break of the
friendship because Braque could not live with the idea that
his art was for Picasso nothing but child play.

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You see in Picassos art career that his fierce independ-


ence even became stronger as he grew older. To look only
at Guernica, the monumental painting which assumed a
unique expressiveness under Picassos hands.
I do not know any other art work that associates the
senseless cruelty of war or civil war in such a sublimated
abstract form, unveiling the misery of misguided human-
ity without itself containing the violence a realistic paint-
ing or photography would depict.
You can contemplate Guernica and be deeply moved,
without being sickened. In this sense, Guernica is a cathar-
tic experience, and was so for Picasso himself.
From about the time
Picasso lived in the Cha-
The artist where I
teau de Vauvenargues, with
have seen inner
Jacqueline at his side, his
knowledge as if un-
art became so unique and
der a magnifier is Pa-
personal, without any pos-
blo Picasso. Among
sible comparison with ex-
all artists, I do not
isting models, that even
know one who en-
some Picasso lovers felt es-
tranged. Picasso was using
joyed a similar inde-
his inner knowledge once pendence and inven-
again to a point to use it as tiveness.
an exclusive inspiration for
his art.
I believe that there is a similarly gigantic originality
with Svjatoslav Richter.

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THE BETTER LIFE

While still some decades ago, many doubted that mu-


sical performance involves real creativity, this point has
been clarified. I remember that back in the 1960s this dis-
cussion was still vivid, while today most art critics and
even the lay public have accepted the idea that musical
performance can be genuinely creative. That doesnt imply
however that it always is, but it potentially can be.
Back in my childhood, I saw this discussion engaged in
Germany regarding Herbert von Karajan, Glenn Gould
and Svjatoslav Richter. In the performances of these three
artists, a conductor and two pianists, critics and a growing
part of the public began to voice things like recomposi-
tion, recreation, remodeling the original composition,
co-creating the original, and so on. It was Karajans Mah-
ler, Glenn Goulds Bach and Richters Rachmaninov that
triggered the peak of this discussion about musical aesthet-
ics and right-or-wrong interpretation of a musical compo-
sition.

It is curious to see today that these positions have not


changed over time. Still now, most critics, and even a new
generation of them, say that Karajan was best in Mahler,
Gould in Bach and Richter in Rachmaninov. Richter who
did not particularly like Karajan, admitted in his Note-
books about Karajan that, his Mahler is great. Richter rec-
reated the Rachmaninov image to a point of no-return;
later in life, he did the same with Schubert. As he relates in
Richter the Enigma (1998):

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THE CREATIVE PROCESS

Everybody asked me why I wanted to play


Schubert? Its Schumann you have to play, not
Schubert, they said, but I did not listen. I knew I
wanted to play Schubert, however differently!

Bruno Monsaingeon, Richter The Enigma / LInsoumis / Der


Unbeugsame, NVC Arts 1998 (DVD)

I think this is a particularly striking example of how a


great artist uses his inner knowledge or pure intuition to
venture into avenues unknown to millions of people over
generations and generations! The service that Richter has
rendered Schubert is not to express in words, so precious
and unprecedented it is, as he was never understood,
overshadowed at his lifetime by Beethoven.
Richter showed the world that Schuberts sonatas
stand on equal foot, both in form and in expression, with
Beethovens. This is particularly true for his long B-flat Ma-
jor Sonata. Glenn Gould speaks in an interview about it,
saying he struggled with the repetitive structures of the
sonata and became restless and squirmy when he had to sit
through it. And that when he saw Richter playing it in
Moscow Conservatory, back in the 1950s, it was like a veil
was lifted before his eyes and he suddenly understood that
all repetitions were organic elements in the musical piece
and that despite the fact that Richter seemed to play the
sonata slower than all pianists he had heard playing it be-
fore, all seemed to be right in place, and that he had been
captivated from the first to the last note.

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THE BETTER LIFE

Gould, talking with so much true reverence about


Richter, was a musical genius himself. Gifted just as Rich-
ter with a photographic memory, he was never once seen to
play from a score, while even Richter later in life doubted
his fantastic memory when playing in public.
Gould has left us a Bach that sings. When the transition
came from playing Bach on a cembalo to playing him on a
modern concert grand, most pianists, to this day, have a
tendency to play Bach without pedal, using so-called fin-
ger technique to render a Bach that strangely reminds of
Czerny and Hanon, instead of reminding of Bach.
I still remember that when I heard Bach on the radio in
my childhood, I found his music hard and violent, and
thought it was bare of emotion and of tender feelings.
Then you listen to the Well-Tempered Clavier or the French
Suites in our days, with Murray Perahia and Andrei Gavri-
lov, piano, and you realize that the world has changed.
Bach, in fact, contains more tenderness than Telemann
and Handel, only that pianists have discovered it rather
late. Already the Russian pianist Heinrich Neuhaus, the
teacher of Svjatoslav Richter and Emil Gilels, wrote in his
book The Art of Piano Playing that a pianist can play Bach
only if he is able to let every single voice sing.

Heinrich Neuhaus, The Art of Piano Playing, London: Barrie &


Jenkins, 1973, first published in 1958

But as I said earlier, it is well a difference to do some-


thing about musical performance because it is recognized

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THE CREATIVE PROCESS

by an authority, or to do it because of a strong inner voice


that says Do it! So let us explore now how this is possible
at all, how we can have sure inner knowledge about things
to come or things we should realize, while the whole
world sees matters differently, and tells us to do things in
the old ways?
I believe that quantum physics and especially the prin-
ciples of uncertainty and nonlocality provide the answers
that are not answered since the times of Leonardo da Vinci.

Four-Quadrant Genius
Geniuses, in the past, and today, are geniuses not be-
cause they attended schools and universities, but despite
having done so. What is characteristic about them is that
they know better than their teachers and generally suffer
from the restrictions and limitations inherent in any school
system. In addition, it has not been understood until re-
cently that human intelligence is not uniform in the sense
that not every genius is a genius in all four quadrants, nor
in just one of them. This model is of course a simplifica-
tion. Einsteins genius wasnt just 1st quadrant: deductive-
logical-analytical. He said that he arrived at none of his
discoveries through rational thinking. It is that his right-
brain intelligence was especially strong, the 2nd quadrant:
holistic-intuitive-integrative intelligence.

Generally speaking, my point is that genius is genius


not because any quadrant of their IQ is especially highly
developed, but because there is an extraordinary systemic

87
THE BETTER LIFE

reinforcement of the general IQ through the synergy between


different modes of intelligence. For example, in Einsteins
case, and even more so, in Leonardos case, the 1st and the
2nd quadrant IQ were adding-on to one another with the
result of an extraordinary lucidity that is able to check back
any little progress in analysis with an equal progress in syn-
thesis. A wise man once stated that after psychoanalysis
must come psychosynthesis. I am convinced that if Roberto
Assagioli had not invented the latter, another would have
done so, simply because it was the lacking half. In fact, if
tomorrow you invent another alphabet and you write its
first letter, A, you cannot stay there, but you must get
through until Z. Only when A to Z is finalized, you can say
you have the basis of a coherent something that you call a
language.
When research on brain hemispheres was developed,
the first insight, revolutionary at the time, was that IQ is
proportionally higher in case of a coherence between the brain
hemispheres. This produced the long-overdue insight that
genius is not, as formerly believed, an extraordinary de-
velopment of one of the IQ quadrants, but rather an un-
usual equilibrium of the left and right brain hemispheres
that leads to what could be called an integrative thought
process.
This implies that conscious and subconscious mind
work in sync, and for this, we have many examples in the
lives of highly gifted people. Einstein, for example, used to
have little naps throughout the day, short periods when he

88
THE CREATIVE PROCESS

fell asleep, for no longer than about ten minutes, and


sometimes, after waking up, he intuitively felt he had
found the solution to one or the other hairy scientific prob-
lem he was working on.
In this context, it is helpful to study the various tests
that were conducted on Einsteins brain after his death. It
was found that his brain did not display abnormalities or
hypertrophies of any kind: it was found be a normal
brain in every respect. Some people, who had expected to
find the key to Einsteins genius were disappointed in
their hope to detect the one single key to human genius, so
that it could be cloned.
The answer is that there
is no such key, except that
When research on
geniuses seem to use their
brain hemispheres
brains way more effectively
was developed, the
than ordinary people do. I
first insight, revolu-
actually researched this
tionary at the time,
matter but found that not
was that IQ is pro-
even the legal questions are
portionally higher in
free of doubt, let alone the
various theories about Ein-
case of a coherence
steins brain. In some books between the brain
its written he had agreed hemispheres.
by testamentary will that
his brain was given to re-
search after his death, but in others, it was said that he had
expressed his last will only verbally. Fact is that his son,

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THE BETTER LIFE

Hans Albert Einstein, had to give an ex-post permission to


the autopsy, which is legally a hairy case by itself.
In fact, we know from research that most people use
only five to eight percept of their creative resources, but
geniuses definitely use more; how much more is still not
entirely clarified and subject to further research. I am con-
vinced that all in life is linked through feedback-cycles, a
fact now corroborated by systems theory. In high achievers
we can observe a reinforcing cycle put in place by the very
fact of their own belief in being superior!
The will to achieve higher sets in place an evolutionary
upward spiral that positively affects the development of
the brain and the building of preferred pathways, thereby
raising the complexity of neuronal connections.
Salvador Dali is a stunning example as he had taken
the decision as a little boy to be a genius; he relates that in
his notebooks. It is not surprising, then, that later in life,
while not without hassles, he was recognized as an artistic
genius. Whatever may be true in this respect, there is no
doubt that high self-confidence, and a high level of trust in
life is conducive to achieving higher, for outperforming
oneself, and for delivering outstanding achievements.
Franoise Dolto related to me in an interview that at
the critical moments in her life when she was developing
her famed method for healing psychotic children, she felt
she was walking on eggs and did not feel she knew what
was going on. It has to be known that at that time, it was
believed that psychosis is a fatal disease and cannot be

90
THE CREATIVE PROCESS

healed, be it manifest in a child or an adult. It was even


believed that in every case of psychosis a physical brain
damage is the root cause. Today we know that all this is
not true, but these new insights still havent reached popu-
lar science circles.
What happened to Dolto
was that she fell asleep in a Salvador Dali is a
therapy session with a psy- stunning example as
chotic child. She didnt un- he had taken the de-
derstand at first why this cision as a little boy
was so, but it seemed to be
to be a genius; he re-
so compelling that she later
lates that in his note-
used to say that psychotic
books.
children get their therapist in
trance. She then found out
that the childs psyche actually asked for a non-biased direct
communicative link with the therapist, which ideally comes
about telepathically, when the therapists reasoning mind
is put to rest for a moment. And to her great astonishment,
she found that every time after a session she had fallen
asleep with a psychotic child, that child had done a major
leap forward in healing the disturbance.
With Franoise Dolto, I had found a particularly strik-
ing example for the fact that genius also requires a very
high level of trust in inner guidance.
When Einstein published his Annus Mirabilis Papers in
1905, his work on the essence of radiation in 1909, and his
ground-breaking study on the theory of relativity in 1915,

91
THE BETTER LIFE

the scientific world ignored them at first. Nobody saw


what a revolution had happened in science with the emer-
gence of these papers, simply because there was nobody
who was able to evaluate them in the first place. It was
only from 1919, because astronomers had confirmed Ein-
steins prediction of gravitational reflection of starlight by
the Sun during a solar eclipse in Brazil that Einstein got the
merits he deserved for his discoveries. But Einstein him-
self, like Dolto, never had doubted that what he discovered
had prime value; he most probably did not a moment
worry about fame or recognition but simply continued his
work. He also could not be sure, at that time, just like
Dolto, that what he found was really going to be fully
verified as a theory.
We know that in the short intervals before falling
asleep and right after waking up, we are in the so-called
alpha state, which is when brain waves are somewhat
longer than in the thinking state of full awareness, and it
is in this state that the brain hemispheres are particularly
in sync. This means that the corpus callosum, the structure
that connects the brain hemispheres in the mammalian
brain, is especially active.
In fact, all of the inter-hemispheric communication in
the brain is conducted across the corpus callosum. This is
why, as Einstein used to say, a problem cannot be solved
on the same level of thought that created it. In other words,
solving problems is not possible through logical deductive
thinking, which is left-brain related, but must involve in

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THE CREATIVE PROCESS

addition inductive and associative thinking, which is right-


brain related. Interestingly so, Einstein himself did not talk
about his genius in the usual terms. He was way more spe-
cific. He used to say that contrary to most other scientists
he was extremely stubborn (starrkpfig), and, facing a prob-
lem, he would react to it with dogged endurance.
Another great genius, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe,
said that genius is diligence (Genie ist Fleiss). Einstein also
said that the gift of fantasy has meant more to him than
effort done for absorbing positive knowledge.
In Einsteins case, we clearly see that it was these quali-
ties of the right brain, including imagination, fantasy, the
capacity to see hidden connections between obvious ap-
pearances, and musical talent that made for his astounding
discoveries in atomic physics.

Q & A Session
Q. Have you ever suffered from writers block? If you
are not a writer yourself, what could you imagine writers
do for not experiencing such a blockage of their creative
expression? If you are a writer, what do you personally do
for enhancing your creative flow?
A. Please give yourself the answer.

Q. Is it a good idea to have some kind of preparation


before you start writing?
A. It is always smart to involve your subconscious
mind in anything you are about to do. You do this by tak-

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THE BETTER LIFE

ing a moment after you sit down for writing and keep si-
lent for a minute, focusing inside.
Then, affirm sincerely that you wish your innate crea-
tivity to manifest here and now for realizing an effective
and convincing piece of writing. If you, like me, compose
music spontaneously, do the same when you sit down at
the piano and before you touch the keys.

Q. What are the two phases of the creative process? In


the first part, which brain hemisphere is most engaged? In
the second phase, which other brain hemisphere is most
engaged?
A. Its the production state and the post-production
state. In the first part, the right hemisphere is predomi-
nantly engaged, the the second part, the left hemisphere.

Q. Do you think that creating effortlessly is a form of


laziness? If you do, what do you think is the prime advan-
tage of this kind of laziness?
A. This kind of laziness is about the best you can ever
experience in your life. If you do some biographical re-
search on high achievers, you will realize that all geniuses
were and are joyfully lazy in that particular manner. They
know, either because of their innate self-knowledge or be-
cause they found out later in life, that creativity is not re-
lated to conscious thinking but more to intuition, and pas-
sive reception of ideas from the ether, the vibrational field in
which we are all embedded.

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THE CREATIVE PROCESS

Q. What do hard thinkers find delusional in the way


creators use their genius? How does play facilitate this
process?

A. Hard thinkers, also called left-brain thinkers, be-


lieve that only hard work can guarantee for high and valid
achievement; they would try to master any task with their
reasoning process, and if it doesnt bring a result, they
would turn down the task as impossible. Children are all
born geniuses in the sense that their innate knowledge tells
them the truth that play is the key to creativity. It is thus not
childish to play as an adult, but a good strategy for engag-
ing the creative process. Geniuses are constantly at play,
not with toys of course, like children, but with concepts,
with ideas, with assumptions, with rules and regulations;
they question everything.
Edward de Bono, the well-known think tank, found
that creativity is always destructive in the sense that we
need to invalidate established ideas in order to find new
ideas. He called this deliberately destructive thinking Se-
rious Creativity, title of one of his books.
For example, when a large corporation for dental sup-
ply asked him for an innovative new toothpaste, he came
up with the concept of creating a stinking toothpaste.

Through this funny-sounding idea, he destroyed the


previous concept of a minty toothpaste and started the
brainstorming process in that manner. The result was the
strawberry toothpaste.

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THE BETTER LIFE

Q. What is the inner entity that is most engaged in this


first phase of the creative process? Which inner entity is
most engaged during the second phase of the creative
process: the so-called production phase?
A. It is our inner child that is most engaged during the
first phase, and its our inner adult that is most engaged in
the second phase of the creative process.

Q. In which way would you agree that every creation


always is also destruction?
A. As pointed out already, every new creative idea is
based upon the destruction of the previous idea in the evo-
lutionary development of that particular course of ideas.

Q. What is the main characteristic of creative genius? Is


it analysis and intellectual reasoning, or is it intuition? Or
is it rather that intellect and intuition are working in sync?
A. It is the harmonious collaboration between intuitive
mind and reasoning mind or of right brain hemisphere and
left brain hemisphere, and in still other terms, of associa-
tive thinking and analytic thinking.

Q. What is the basic difference between the creator and


the craftsman? Which famous musicians and painters were
embodying the exception to that rule in that they were both
creators and craftsmen?
A. I mention only two here for the sake of convenience
for we need to stay with a few examples here, while there

96
THE CREATIVE PROCESS

would be many more of course to mention. They are the


pianist Svjatoslav Richter and the painter Pablo Picasso.
Coincidentally, both have been considered as being the
primus inter pares in their particular field for the 20th cen-
tury. While it may not be obvious to non-musicians why
Richter, as a performing artist, was also a creator, it is
known to many that Picasso was not only a very original
painter but that he also was actively engaging in the craft
of pottery, creating many highly unique vases, bowls, din-
ner plates, jugs, and statues that, because of their artisanal
nature, are not exhibited in musea but in special exhibi-
tions for the artisanal arts.

Q. Why can we say that quantum physics is the secret


behind all creation, behind all novelty, and behind all gen-
ius? In which way the quantum field or unified field comes
in here to explain that connection?
A. What we call God or the creator force is nothing but
the universal energy which is basically vibration and which
quantum physics has discovered (or rather-rediscovered
for all ancient cultures knew about it) as the essential blue-
print for all life, and for the universe. This force is energy
and spirit, and it is an essential information field. It is to-
day called the unified field. This field connects all that is and
it is all that is, and it is the dynamic force that makes that
all life is change and transformation, and that there is noth-
ing stagnant in the universe.

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THE BETTER LIFE

Q. What is the difference between human creativeness


and creativity?
A. Human creativeness is the potential, while creativity
is to apply this potential to actually create.

Q. What was Edward de Bonos concept of serious


creativity all about?
A. As I mentioned it already, this concept was not cre-
ated for artistic creativity but for bringing about innova-
tion in the corporate setting. It is a method that enables RD
concept teams to find new solutions and create new prod-
ucts.

Q. All children are creative. Why are not all adults crea-
tive?
A. This is because of the conditioning influence of our
very uncreative school systems around the world, which
belittle the human potential and are created in the belief
that the human being is basically faulty and needs to be
reformed by a moralistic education. This kind of educa-
tion, however, disturbs the creative potential in children
more than it helps the child to ever handle it. In fact, it
transforms creative children into dull uncreative citizens.

Q. What are the four basic realms of creative genius?


Give one example of creative genius for each realm of crea-
tivity?
A. They are artistic creativity, scientific creativity, con-
ceptual or business creativity, and technical creativity. An

98
THE CREATIVE PROCESS

exponent of the first kind of creativity is, for example, Pa-


blo Picasso, and exponent of the second kind of creativity
is for example Albert Einstein, an exponent of the third
category would be Edward de Bono and an exponent of
the last category would be Alexander Graham Bell.

Q. How would you point out more in detail the truth


that genius is basically inner knowledge?

A. Please give yourself the answer.

Q. Why has Picasso been called the greatest visual art-


ist of the 20th century?
A. My personal answer is that he was able to duplicate
even the most sophisticated artistic styles such as Braques
cubism, but on top of that he created styles that were abso-
lutely new and unheard of.

Q. Give one example of Svjatoslav Richters creative


genius as a pianist.
A. The way he interpreted the German composer Franz
Schubert. His Schubert is legendary and has completely
transformed and rejuvenated the image of this almost for-
gotten composer who was during all his life standing in
the shadow of his contemporary, Ludwig van Beethoven.

Q. What does the expression four-quadrant genius


mean? Do you think that this classification is flawless in
that every genius falls exactly into one of these four cate-
gories?

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THE BETTER LIFE

A. As we have seen this is not or very rarely the case.


In the typical scenario with recognized geniuses, they fall
in several categories at the same time.

Q. Would you agree with the assumption that geniuses


think with their full brain, which means that in their case,
their conscious and subconscious minds work in sync?
A. Please provide the answer yourself.

Q. Why so much fuss was made about Einsteins


brain, and what was the end result of that investigation?
A. The simple result was that nothing extraordinary
could be found about his brain. The whole thing was a
typically American media bluff.

Q. How did Germanys great poet, Johann Wolfgang


von Goethe, define human genius?
A. He said that its an industrious spirit. (Genie ist
Fleiss.)

Q. Einstein did not talk about genius in the usual


terms. He was way more specific. In which way?

A. He said that all his great achievements were due to


two qualities: his imagination and his doggedness.

100
Chapter Four
They are Evil

Remember that it is not he who reviles you or strikes


you, who insults you, but it is your opinion about
these things as being insulting.

EPICTETUS

Certain people hardly ever talk about themselves and


their problems. Instead they are voicing something like an
agenda. Some want to eradicate evil, some want to save
the world from abuse, some are against taxes, others think
tomorrow is doomsday, still others believe that people can
live without governments, divulging conspiracies as the
ultimate truth.
It is easy to conspire. It unites people in what I would
call rebel thinking and what in France is called Fronde
spirit. This kind of uniting in small groups is dealt with in
THE BETTER LIFE

the I Ching. The I Ching talks about rebels uniting in the


wilderness. The judgment of the I Ching is that those peo-
ple cannot bring about great projects, only small projects,
because their vision is limited.
As long as you see the world through the glasses of an
agenda, you make it fit that agenda. But of course, you
make it fit only in your mind, not in outward reality. The
world stays the same before and after your observing it.

An agenda is a comfortable way to look away from your


problems, whatever they are, in order to avoid dealing
with them. So instead of observing yourself, you observe
the world out there, judging certain people or groups of
people, governments, bankers, pranksters, the ultra-rich or
whatever. This gives you a certain creative freedom. You
rant and rave, and you find that your life has a meaning
because you are attacking those of evil intent. They are
this and that, they bring about injustice and widespread
poverty, they are an elite of ruthless bankers and blind
politicians; they are corrupt, have no morality, and are
profiting from widespread ignorance.
But what about yourself? Are you morally superior? Are
you sure to know everything? Are you always just?
Are you free of greed? Are you sure that if tomorrow
somebody offers you one million dollars for doing some-
thing evil, you will refuse on the spot? Are you incorrupti-
ble? Are you better than the rest of humanity? Why do you
believe that? Is it because you are convinced that you be-
have flawlessly in all and every situation? Is it because you

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THEY ARE EVIL

are convinced that you are heading toward the light, while
they, in your view, are heading toward darkness?
Have you ever been honest enough toward yourself to
ask these questions? And if you ever did, was it a comfort-
able feeling, or a queer feeling? Now, I have nothing to tell
you. I just wanted to make you aware that if you wish, you
can easily do away with illusions or delusionsand face
yourself.

What will happen when


you do that? I do not know As long as you see
what will happen for you, the world through
but I know something will the glasses of an
happen. Perhaps you are agenda, you make it
afraid that you will wake up fit that agenda.
from your negative hypno-
sis, that you will wake up to
life, and to a positive, responsible approach to living in this
world?

You may be afraid to go this way for then you have no


more justifier for your own inadequacies. In such a liberat-
ing moment of insight, you are going to face them, pre-
cisely because you have done away with your agenda.
Now I would like to ask you honestly. Is that a good or
a bad development for you? Think about it. I am sure you
know the answer! There is something interesting I have
observed with people.
The more morally integer they are, the less they talk
about those, who are evil, and the more magnanimous
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THE BETTER LIFE

they are. The less they are morally integer, the more often
they talk about those who do evil.
I have often observed, while in hindsight and after
having suffered theft and robbery that those who are
thieves and robbers virtually on a daily basis rant against
thieves and robbers! Have you ever observed that?
When you have observed it, you may also have pon-
dered what may be the psychological reason for such be-
havior? Well, in psychology this is called repression and pro-
jection. It is a psychic complex. When you close your eyes
toward your weaknesses, you repress them from your con-
scious mind. At the same time you will project them upon
others who then serve as scapegoats for your own re-
pressed thought content. What then happens is that you
see in others what you actually should become aware as
being part of yourself.
In that sense, to open your eyes and look in the mirror
is a liberating process. It dissolves the projections and does
away with the repression. As that happens, the repressed
thought content becomes conscious and you become aware
of the feelings, the dispositions, the inclinations and de-
sires that you repressed because you felt you could not
handle them and that they would endanger you.

Now you see that what endangered you was paradoxi-


cally the very fact that these desires were unconscious,
while from the moment you rendered them conscious, you
gained control over them. This is so because human con-
sciousness is self-cleaning and self-renewing; but the con-

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THEY ARE EVIL

dition is that you put an act of will first: you need to render
conscious all that you have previously repressed.
How to do that in practice? There are ways to go about
it. One is called meditation, the other introspection. Both
are essentially the same; the difference in terminology
comes from the fact that meditation was developed in the
East, and introspection in the West. But both lead to the
same end.

As a further result you will then see that you feel no


more need to talk about them, for you will realize there
are no them and us, that this antinomy is artificial, part
of a mental construct, or conspiracy.
How does this process of
awareness building help you I have often ob-
to be more in alignment with served, while in
yourself and less alienated? hindsight and after
It helps you to be more con- having suffered theft
nected with your true inner and robbery that
self because you have freed those who are thieves
it from an inner split you and robbers virtually
were caught in. This inner
on a daily basis rant
split was one between reality
against thieves and
and ideology. You thought
robbers!
about yourself in a manner
that was schizoid. On the one
hand, you saw your real you as defaulted in the sense that
it contained certain weaknesses but on the other hand, you
wanted to create a flawless self, or ideal self. Hence, you

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THE BETTER LIFE

split your self in two parts, the real self and the ideal self.
The real self was you as you are, the ideal self was what
you should be. This inner split divided you, it fragmented
you. The result of this fragmentation was confusion.

Q & A Session
Q. Why do you think that many people are voicing
something like an agenda?
A. They have never started thinking independently, in
the first place. They have taken over concepts and ideas
from their parents and educators, other people, or the me-
dia and have distilled a neat little box in which they threw
all the ingredients, and this box became their agenda.
They use it as a shield in any situation they are asked for
their real ideas, and it facilitates their lives enormously. But
needless to add that they of course are intellectually dead.

Q. What do you think about conspiracies? Why are


people think in terms of us and them?
A. Thats another convenient life facilitator for it saves
the concerned from critical thinking. Conspiracy thinking
is not critical but emotional; its another convenient shield
against self-thinking and true awareness of reality.

Q. What happens when you see the world through the


glasses of an agenda?
A. You will make it fit that agenda, in every possible
way, even if you have to distort the facts.

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THEY ARE EVIL

Q. Are you morally superior? Are you sure to know


everything? Are you always just?
A. I think the answer is obvious. You are not, and I am
not.

Q. What happens when you take yourself at face value,


without delusions, without making yourself up or down?
A. You are getting on a totally new track, the track of
self-knowledge which is the most exciting track you can
ever be on; and it helps you to truly understand others, for
without self-knowledge, we cannot know others.

Q. Who, in your experience, are those who most con-


demn thieves and robbers?
A. Thieves and robbers.

Q. How would you explain the psychic process of re-


pression and projection? How can it explain the making of
scapegoats in the entire course of human history?
A. When you repress something from the surface of
your conscious awareness, it gets repressed into your sub-
conscious mind. When that happens, as you are unaware
of that repressed energy patternremember that all our
thoughts and emotions are energy, as they are vibrational
in natureit will dominate you. But as you have blocked
awareness of that pattern regarding your own person, as
you have blinded that out, you will unconsciously project
that pattern upon others, whom you will blame for it.

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THE BETTER LIFE

Q. What is the difference between meditation and in-


trospection? And in what sense are they equal?
A. The difference is simply that the two approaches
belong to two different cultural realms. Meditation has
been invented and is practiced in the East, while introspec-
tion has been invented in ancient Greece, thus in the West,
and is practiced today by many people in our culture.
What they have in common, or why they are equal is sim-
ply that both approaches try to explore our inner world
and at the same time refrain from judging it. In other
words, they are both ways of passively observing our in-
ner movements, the movements of our thoughts and our
emotional reactions to events, and to people. They thus
serve us for building awareness and self-knowledge.

Q. How would you explain the inner split between re-


ality and ideology, or between what is and what should
be?

A. This schizoid split is the result of an inner war that


those lead who have been conditioned through moralistic
education. In this war, reality is blamed as being abrasive,
barbarous or destructive, while at the same time an ideal is
built, such as an ideal world, or belief system, in which all
things are right and good. Thus what such people do is to
confront any problem not by analyzing its true nature but
by finding an ideal solution to it which means they are
using not intuition, but conceptual thought and idealistic
wishful thinking for solving problems. Thats one reason
why our governments around the world are not really
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THEY ARE EVIL

solving our problems today, but just administer them. For


most of them are caught in the trap of idealistic thinking.

Q. How does inner fragmentation bring about confu-


sion?
A. When we are fragmented, we are not aware from
which inner point of view were are thinking and arguing.
As our being is split, we today defend this view and to-
morrow that one, according to how we feel about it. But
this feeling is a shaky condition as it is not based upon
real insight but upon superficial perceptions. Perception
can only become correct from the moment we overcome
the inner war and become whole, and peaceful inside.
Then we can begin to perceive the subtle reality that is
what all great sages around the world have called the Sub-
tle Truth, the Tao, or Enlightenment.

109
Chapter Five
Author Your Life

Finally, we will become a more thoughtful observer


of our own life. We will watch ourselves as we go
about our daily business and will later reflect on
what we saw, trying to identify the sources of dis-
tress in our life and thinking about how to avoid
that distress.

WILLIAM B. IRVINE, A GUIDE TO THE GOOD LIFE: THE


ANCIENT ART OF STOIC JOY (2009), P. 11

Our relationship with the outside world, with others, is


in constant contact with our inner world; its the relation-
ship we maintain with ourselves. Its like head and tail of a
coin, two aspects of the same reality. In Antiquity this was
well-known and was expressed as Know Thyself! The
connection of the inner with the outer is equivalent to the
relationship between the upper and the lower, anciently
THE BETTER LIFE

expressed as As it is above so it is below! Today we know


that this is true as science has shown that our universe is
fundamentally coherent, and that all in it is connected.

Subatomic research, which started with Einsteins dis-


covery that a particle may behave as a wave in certain
situations, found that our universe exists as a potentiality
until we observe it. As the observer is entangled with the
object of observation, reality springs in existence virtually
at the moment we observe it. This fact has profound impli-
cations on what is called scientific objectiveness, for it ap-
pears obvious that if we are as observers determining the
outcome of the experiment, we cannot continue to affirm
that science is objective. We as humans are subjective and
when we are involved in the process of scientific investiga-
tion, through our being observers in the scientific experi-
ment, the outcome of it necessarily takes part in that sub-
jectiveness of ours!
Quantum physicists such as David Bohm have even
realized that there is something like a conscious dialogue be-
tween particles, even within inanimate matter, and that
our universe is responsive and communicative at its most
fundamental and basic level.
These discoveries in natural science did not stay with-
out impact upon the humanities. They only confirmed that
there is interdependence also on the human level, in the
form of inter-psychic communication or telepathy, and intra-
psychic communication, which is what we are talking about
here: the inner dialogue.

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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

We may thus conclude that there is a dialectic relation-


ship between our inner reality and the world around us. In
other words, we are involved in a constant dialogue with
our inner world, and what we perceive as outward reality.
What is the importance of dialogue, we may ask? Well, a
philosopher once said Without dialogue, no light! And in
politics, we see that where there is no dialogue, there is
ignorance, fear, and violence. Positively put, we may put it
that way: love is dialogue. It is thus essential to bring our
repressed feelings and selves into a dialogue with one an-
other in order to subject them to the light of consciousness
and to embrace them with love. Doing this will bring those
repressed desires and feelings again back into our con-
scious awareness; more so, it helps to integrate these dis-
owned energies, which raises our authentic dealing with
the world, others and life. This is important for our true
self can only unfold its riches and power in the moment
we are authentic and truthful, not when we hide behind a
mask because we are scared to express ourselves in truth
and honesty!
Modern psychiatry must be spiritual in the sense that it
cannot continue to rule in a universe of arbitrary projec-
tions on nature, instead of following the rules inherent in
nature. It is with this special regard that I start this chapter
on voice dialogue.
My intention is to provide food for thought not only to
students of psychology, but also for lay peoples home
use of this little road map, for the applicability of the

113
THE BETTER LIFE

knowledge to be presented here is immensely useful for


daily life, and in daily relationships.
The movements of our thoughts and the anxieties in
our daily life, as well as the conflicts in our psyche have a
direct impact upon our relationships, with family, neigh-
bors, work colleagues, our partner and children, and so
forth. The conflictual potential, which we do not subject to
a harmonizing dialogue with inside will then only aggra-
vate.
We then may experience setbacks in relationships, and
wonder why they happened in the first place? It is our
human duty to prevent this to happen through the dia-
logue that keeps us in touch with inside and outside, with
ourselves and others. Its a sort of inner hygiene, and I can
testify for its effectiveness!
Voice dialogue as a method for getting in touch with
our inner selves requires a certain preparation. You may
listen to music, light a candle, and stretch out comfortably
on a divan or in an arm chair; you may pray instead, if you
prefer, or fix your regard on a crystal bowl, or a pendulum.
There are so many different ways to relax. The way you
get there is not really important, but why you need to get
there: our brain runs on different frequencies. Our state of
mind is basically a result of the waves our brain runs on;
the brain waves or frequency you need for voice dialogue
has been called the alpha state. Its a natural state of mind
in which we are at least twice a day, in the morning after
waking up, and in the evening, at the moment to go to bed.

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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

The alpha state is characterized by a lowering of wake


consciousness, and an opening up toward the imaginal
realm, inner images, and also suggestions. When you are
in this very relaxing state, you should not watch television,
for you are more suggestible than in the state of full wake
consciousness called beta state. You may have the habit to
fall asleep in front of your television set, but its a bad
habit, for potentially disturbing images, and conditioning
images (publicity) then bombard your subconscious mind.
Positively, the inner defenses against positive changes
of subconscious content diminish when you are in alpha,
which allows you to reprogram yourself if you wish to.
Here is a little list what you actually can do in alpha,
and what kind of changes you may bring about:

Heal childhood trauma;

Heal post-childhood trauma;

Change your self image;

Change your body image;

Reprogram yourself positively.

What is trauma, by the way? Its a response of our or-


ganism to hurting life experiences. There is a mechanism
in our brain that preserves our mental sanity by a func-
tional mode called the trauma response. When you are in
a situation of helplessness or lack of defense, and you a
shocked by suffering an act of aggression, your brain
makes sure that the shock will not have a damaging effect

115
THE BETTER LIFE

on your brain and mental sanity. It therefore reacts in a


specific manner: the brain releases the emotional pain by
substantially reducing conscious perception of the event,
and subsequently represses the memories of it in the un-
conscious. This results in you surviving the hurt sanely,
but has the disadvantage that later you will face what is
called a repetition urge in that your brain wants you do
heal that initial wounding, thereby bringing about over
and over again the same kind of situation in order for you
to react differently and gain the overhand.
This is an automatism. Your brain doesnt reason, oh
now he can defend himself in a similar situation and can
thus heal the original wounding by being victorious,
thereby healing his damaged self-image. Its completely
automatic. The problem is that you have lost the memory
of the original event that brought about the trauma re-
sponse, so you gain the impression that destiny is mean
with you and plays you foul tricks! It goes without saying
that the more trauma you have experienced, the more your
self-image has been distorted because of repression and
amnesia, survival reactions of your brain.
There is more to know about these imprints, as they are
called. The memory lapse or amnesia is only one effect;
another, perhaps more important, is the fact that such
traumatic events leave in your vital body or luminous en-
ergy field an impression or imprint which causes your
vital energy flow to stagnate or turn negative with the re-
sult that your emotional balance is impaired. This can in

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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

extreme cases lead to mental illness, in lighter cases it may


still negatively affect your emotional and sexual response.
You may suffer from a hangup called sadomasochism or
from impotence, or anxiety from sexual arousal. It is thus
really in your self-interest to detect such imprints timely
and do everything to heal them. You may for example go
to a psychotherapist or psychiatrist; but you may as well
try the self-healing approach that is why I wrote this chap-
ter of the book, assuring your life will be better than good
as a result.
Many if not all our psy-
chological fears and anxie- It goes without say-
ties, especially what some ing that the more
psychiatrists call a general trauma you have ex-
fear of life are the direct perienced, the more
result of negative imprints in your self-image has
our luminous energy field. If been distorted be-
such anxieties, phobias, or cause of repression
generally adverse reactions and amnesia, sur-
to natural phenomena per-
vival reactions of
sist over years they may lead
your brain.
to psychosomatic disease
because the body always is
directed by the mind, and the content of the subconscious.
If those negative imprints are not healed in time, they may
thus bring about physical illness. Psychiatrists also have
found that a person may unconsciously condemn natural
reactions of their body such as sexual arousal, or being ac-

117
THE BETTER LIFE

cidentally touched by another person, simply because that


specific behavior is unconsciously associated with the
early trauma. If this goes on over a certain time, the anxi-
ety somatizes in the muscular system and become what is
called a muscular armor.
That means the muscles, or some specific muscles, lose
their suppleness and elasticity and become rigid.
This may become dramatic if the heart muscle is con-
cerned or the chest muscles for this may have an immedi-
ate suffocating effect upon the person. If muscles in the
brain are affected, the person may suffer from repeated
migraine, or this may bring about hypertension.
More importantly, on the psychic level, in all these
cases, the person is in a state of suffering that manifests
through depressions, a general feeling of emptiness in
life, a lack of soul connectedness in daily life also called
narcissism, strong feelings of resentment toward others,
or feelings of self-hate, or else chronic fatigue syndrome.

For all these problems, the same therapeutic approach


is effective and recommended, that is, the restitution of
emotional flow, the vital energy flow in the entire organ-
ism, and a balance and harmonization of conflicting emo-
tions. The end result of this process is inner peace, a state
of lasting inner harmony.
In the East, this technique is called meditation, a very
effective method in fact which lets consciousness do all
this work, by simply observing thoughts and emotions,
without judging them. The effect of doing that is that con-
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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

sciousness itself brings about the inner healing because


consciousness is self-cleaning and self-renewing. The prob-
lem is that most people in our culture have a wrong un-
derstanding of what meditation actually is. They believe it
was some state of inner high, allowing them to flee from
daily sorrow into realms of nirvana, eternal happiness,
total detachment and other such illusions!
Meditation is to practice inner quiet, a simple but
poised state of nonjudgmental observation of all you expe-
rience, inside of you and around you. Its called in our own
culture introspection. This is actually a quite elucidating
expression as it comes from the Latin word for seeing and
thus means looking inside.

How to practice introspection? After you feel you are


in the relaxed state, you quietly ask your inner mind to re-
veal to you the origin of your problems or your present
anxieties, without focusing on them. Instead, you remain
detached, enjoying the warm flow of your blood, the over-
all relaxed feeling in your limbs, your natural and unin-
hibited breathing, and your natural fatigue
What happens next? Do not anticipate, be patient! That
is very important. You have asked the question and that is
all you can do at this point. Your body will reply. Just focus
upon the energy that streams through your organism, try
to feel it. Does it flow from the top of your head to the
palms of your feet? Or the other way?
Or does it perhaps flow downward in front of your
body and back up through your heels and your spine? Fo-

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THE BETTER LIFE

cus simply on your body for your subconscious is now


busy to prepare the response for you. We cannot know
how long this process requires. You may receive a flash of
insight or an inner image right away, or it may come up
only after a few months. If you hurry the process by being
impatient, you may distort your natural perception and
produce a wrong response, a delusion! You may for exam-
ple go for the idea that after all the culprit is the society I
am living it and you may want to change your country.
But dont forget you carry yourself along wherever you go,
and if you take a projection for real, you may wake up one
day in another country experiencing exactly the same
problems you had before, and you will ask Why did I
come here in the first place? Its not better after all! Thats
why, as I said, you need patience and more patience, and
again patience, trusting your inner mind to come up with
the right answer when the time is ready!
Whatever the time span until it happens, what you are
going to experience is something like a remote remem-
brance or the hint of a familiar memory, a sudden key
event from your childhood, for example, that in some way
is associated with the event itself you try to remember and
heal. Or you may think of a certain person you have per-
haps forgotten for twenty or more years, and that sud-
denly leaves a very real presence in your mind.
This is how your memory surface attempts to get to
you back toward the crucial event, the original event that
brought about the trauma response, the amnesia, and the

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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

following repeated events that created in you the idea you


were under the spell of a curse or a cruel fate. Then, you
may want to inquire further, taking these key memory
hints as important guide posts. How do you do that? You
simply visualize these key memories over and over again,
insisting to ask your subconscious to reveal you more of
the original wounding. Thus you are guided, from piece of
information to piece of information, just like a detective
who wants to find the killer
Once you remember the event, it is important to not
attach to the memory but let is pass in a passive mood.
Why? When you react with hatred or fear or in any other
emotionally strong manner, you cannot detach from the
event and the healing may take longer or may even fail at
this point. If you feel strong hatred toward a certain per-
son, remembering eventually who it was who hurt you at
the time, you imperatively need to forgive that person so
that you can free yourself from the imprint. If you refuse to
forgive, you will remain attached to the memory and it
will further chain and limit you.
This cathartic work may be accompanied by mourning
and weeping, and you may go through a bad moment, but
this is the point where you are close to that wounding to
be eventually healed and you freed of the psychic com-
plex.

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Integrating the Younger Self


In case you encounter not another person but yourself
in front of your inner mind, begin a dialogue with this
younger self of yours, and simply ask:

How are you?


You shall receive an answer, right away or later. It can
be an intuition, a sudden idea, an interest that comes up, a
new encounter or a dream. It may also be a book you find
serendipitously one of the next days in a bookstore. But it
also can be an actual response from your inner mind, a
more or less direct answer from your inner child.
With the inner dialogue, you encounter the younger
self, your inner child of the past, while this may be a to-
tally novel experience for you. You may never even have
reflected that a younger self exists within our psyche, as
well as a present self or a parent self! Never mind, you are
among millions of others who have lost their inner child,
and with it, their intrinsic creativity and joy of life. This is
after all no wonder given our educational system and its
tendency to consider education as an infiltration of in-
stant knowledge instead of following the word education,
which actually means guiding along.
If you had been guided along, and properly mentored,
you would not have lost touch with your genuine self,
your true identity that is represented by your inner child.
You should not blame yourself in any way to have gone
through an alienating education, and blaming your parents

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and teachers for it does not help you either. You are where
you are now, and if you have got to this point, you can ac-
tually congratulate yourself, for you are in the starting
holes of a new and daring adventure: the adventure to live
your own life, a first-hand life, not any more a second-
hand life, but a life of your own creation!
The next step, then, is to realize your own creativeness,
developing your own creativity in one field or the other
you are interested in. Once you are in touch with your in-
ner child, you will always remain in touch. You wont lose
this precious gift again, you will remain connected to your
true self, the inner source of all riches! This inner child of
yours, once recovered and healed, is the driving force for
your true success in life. All your inventiveness and origi-
nality, and your intensity in all you do is inspired by the
dynamics of this inner child. Its genius will then be at your
disposition and you will discover that all great geniuses
are blessed because they either have never lost touch with
their inner child or they recovered and healed it one day, to
become truly themselves!
But even if you do not have suffered trauma, even if
you had a very loving childhood, you are affected by the
general conditioning we all receive as a matter of culture
and religion, wherever in the world.
Do what you want, conditioning leaves a trace in your
subconscious mind. And even going through a good edu-
cation, and having received love and support, you went
through phases of adaptation to the norms and expecta-

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tions of society that were not easy to endure. If you have a


creative and outgoing mind, you will always want to ven-
ture into novel ways of doing things, or you are simply
smarter than the rest of us, and this very smart gets you in
trouble at times, be it through jealousy from the side of our
not so brilliant contemporaries.
These are things we all
go through once in a while, With the inner dia-
and it has nothing to do with logue, you encounter
age and upbringing. Even if the younger self,
our self-image is basically your inner child of
positive and stable, it can be the past, while this
momentarily affected by the may be a totally
jealousies and animosities of novel experience for
others; therefore it is a task you.
for all of us to once in a
while check with inside in
order to find out if we have properly digested one of the
other recent event, or if it has created an inner scar, a
blind spot, a vulnerability that we tend to mourn and pro-
ject unto others in a false attempt to heal it.
Projections are delusions; they distort our sane percep-
tion of reality; they stand in the way to an even remote
level of objectiveness when assessing situations, people,
events and shortcomings. Thats why is blessed the person
who can by and large avoid them, by staying real.
Again, once in the relaxed state, you can modify your
self-image in suggesting to yourself that you are whole

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and complete, and by forgiving that other negative person


around you who hurt you by slandering you, backstabbing
you, or by propagating in the world an image about you
that is wrong. Simply affirm your connection with the part
of yourself that is always untouched, your soul, your
higher self. You may call this part in you observer, if you
like this expression used by spiritualists.
I myself hold against it that an observer is always en-
tangled with the object of observation, at least so in the
human sphere, as quantum physics demonstrated so well.
Of course, this higher self is not human in the sense that it
lives in a reality not ours, but an eternal realm outside of
spacetime. Well, it is true that this higher self always ob-
serves us and in this sense it is well an observer, but here
we have to acknowledge that this self is not entangled at
all with our ego and our little life. It sees things from a bird
perspective, so to speak, and it doesnt interfere unless you
ask it to. I find the expression godself more appropriate
to use for it because it is our connecting point with infinity,
the creator space, the ultimate energy or however you
want to call it. This self is the link to that realm which is
beyond space and time, which is why we carry it with us
after death, and from one into the next incarnation.

Dealing with Inner Images


The next step in our inner work is to work on images
we have made up about others or the world at large. We
do this quite automatically. These images are spontaneous

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judgments we are not always aware of, and they precondi-


tion our perception. For example, you meet a new partner
and make up of her an image of godlike perfection, just
because she is kind and loving and perhaps because you
never met a woman like her before. It is of course beyond
doubt that this is a projection, however positive it is, and
that this cannot be true after all. No human can attain god-
like perfection, whatever they may do about it.

If you think I am wrong here and that such is possible,


okay, I do not insist, but chances are low that that woman
is one of these very few humans who have really attained
that state of perfection. In most cases, its simply an enthu-
siastic reaction, and because you once came up with it, you
stick to it, and the longer you stick to it, the more you come
to believe thats actually true. And then you have made up
an image! Now, when you find that out, there is only one
sane manner to deal with that image: you have to destroy
it, consciously and deliberately!

Your relationship with her will show the result: it will


become authentic and true where before it was sentimental
and false, because of your projection.
While projections, as we have seen, are repressed
fragments of yourself that you come to be reflected in oth-
ers, mental images are ideals. To stay with our example,
you do not see the woman she really is, what you see in
her is your own ideal image of a woman, a creation of
your mind and your longings for undisturbed and long-
lasting love. Instead of staying with the reality that every

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kind of love relation, how good and satisfying it may be,


only lasts so long, you make up an ideal and call it eternal
love or my ideal partner or my goddess or else, and
you take this image as real.
That is a fallacy because in such a situation you cannot
win for you are going after a chimera. Even if your partner
is real and objective enough to see you as you truly are, she
cannot remedy the shortcoming in you that you are delu-
sional in the expectations you put up against her. She will
of course not be able to meet them, hence she will know in
advance that such a relationship cannot last. If she is really
smart, she will tell you; as a result, she will not fall in the
trap to marry a Don Quijote, somebody who fights against
windmills that he takes for real. If the image is negative, as
with Don Quijote who believed to fight against enemies, or
if its positive, something like a Mona Lisa or the Venus
of Milo, a Mary Magdalene or else the eternal Amazon,
its unreal and as such cannot be the basis of a real rela-
tionship in space and time, and with real human beings
involved as the partners!
We need to always distinguish in our relationships
what is actually the real person, and what is the image we
have made about that person. The problem is that our
brain makes up such images constantly, as a matter of
automatism, which is why we need to be vigilant to detect
them once in a while, and destroy them. If we dont regu-
larly renew the images we have about others, be it our
partner, be it business relations, be it friends, or our chil-

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dren, the relationships will turn stale, they will stagnate, or


they will be drawn into negative spirals and events.
We all know that! You find out about a dear friend that
you havent seen since long that he was going to betray
your trust, and only through your finding out the betrayal
in time you could prevent being hurt. And you reason to
yourself:
And I was convinced he was the walking honesty, a
real Saint, incorruptible, integer and sincere to his bones!
Who is always honest, always integer, always sincere?
Jesus Christ? Perhaps, but are we dealing with Jesus Christ
in our daily struggles?
Images about others distort our real and authentic per-
ception of that person; this perception is a composite one,
as it is composed of rational impressions and intuition, as
well as a part of past experience projected into that image.
So its a complex matter, actually. But to avoid this very
complexity, we think we can make things easy by simply
circumventing the whole process and replace authentic
perception but one that uses an image, an ideal, or the idea
of heroic humans.
The quality of a relationship, any relationship, depends
on how much down the rabbit hole the two partners want
to go in destroying the images they made up about one
another, as a matter of automatism, and how willing they
are to depart in their relationship from an authentic mu-
tual perspective that is based upon the complexity of real

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perception, in the conscious knowledge that ideals bring


about delusions, falseness and hypocrisy and are ulti-
mately destructive in relationships.

It is so much easier to see in another person what we


are prepared to see, what we feel comfortable with to see.
In such a situation of rigidity, the mutually made up
images in both partners render an authentic relating to
impossible. A relationship is never static, it always is in
movement, it constantly changes. But those inner images
dont, they are on canvas, so to speak and thereby falsify
the real perceptions of the two persons for one another.

Bridge Your Subconscious Mind


We spend a quarter to a half of our lives asleep, which
means that an average of 25 years we are doing nothing
but sleeping and dreaming. Think about it!
Dreams are essential forms of self-expression; they let
us see our subconscious thoughts, emotions and mental
images.
As such, they are very important in the rather lengthy
process of gaining self-knowledge.
Some psychologists write that dreams are the language
of our unconscious. This is not entirely accurate because if
our conscious mind did not participate in dreaming, we
could never recall a dream; our unconscious memories are
not accessible, except in deep hypnosis.

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In addition, dreams do not only contain thoughts, emo-


tions and images of our individual unconscious but also
thought projected upon us by others, as well as archetypi-
cal imagery from the collective unconscious.
Through our conscious thoughts and emotions during
the day we impregnate our subconscious mind with a cer-
tain content which can either be positive or negative, dy-
namic or inhibitive. Our subconscious mind registers eve-
rything, even the number of steps you go to the grocery
and back, or the convoluted track of your bus from home
to office and back.
We can thus say that dreams are something like a
bridge between our conscious and our subconscious mind.

Besides, dreams play an important role in the mainte-


nance of psychic health. They are conflict-solving, and thus
help us to succeed in life and to achieve our goals. They
are also helpful when you take the decision to change hab-
its and get on new tracks of realization.

In addition, dreams prepare us for stepping into the


unknown, a novel experience, a new task to fulfill, or any-
thing else for that matter. Dreams help our brain to connect
new knowledge with existing patterns of knowledge, and
in this sense they play the role of a mediator between the
new and the old. Finally, dreams are real outlets for your
most repressed fears and negative expectations; through
dreaming the anxiety can discharge the psychic tension,
thereby helping the mind to find harmony.

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In the dreamwork as I propose it here, we are not going


to talk about systems of interpretation as they have been
established over the centuries, and more recently, by psy-
choanalysis. My approach is to avoid the intellectual trap
of interpreting the dream; instead I suggest you to go
through the dream once again, right after waking up, in a
state of relaxation. Its like projecting a film a second time,
but that time watching it with all your conscious attention,
while being in a relaxed state of mind. Its important to be
relaxed for you should not attach to the dream images, nor
reject them in case they are negative or frightening. You are
just observing them, without taking part in the plot, pas-
sively.

This simple technique has


tremendous healing power We can thus say that
because, as mentioned before, dreams are some-
human consciousness is self- thing like a bridge be-
cleaning, and self-renewing. tween our conscious
That means that once you and our subconscious
are fully aware of an inner mind.
conflict, whatever it happens
to be, the conflict is over already, its past already.
This is by far the most effective dreamwork technique I
have learnt, and its effective because it avoids to intellec-
tualize your dream, applying conceptual thought. Con-
ceptual thinking has no place in dreamwork for its side-
tracking you from the soul content of your dreams, and
their integral nature. Life doesnt know concepts, nor do

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our dreams! Hence, avoid dream interpretation for its


always based upon a concept: the Freudian approach, the
Jungian approach, the Reichian approach, or whatever. Its
a fallacy to interpret dreams.
And there is one more reason to avoid interpretation of
dream content. There are signals in our dreams which have
no other meaning than inviting us to wake up in the
dream so as to become aware of the fact that you dream, so
that you can dream lucidly! For example, in a recent dream
of mine, I walked to my car, which was in front of me in
the parking lot, and I held the key in my hand. Looking at
my key, I looked once again more closely, for it had a
strange appearance. It appeared to be an ancient symbol
and the metal it was made of was not at all the one nor-
mally used for making keys. It had a matt surface and was
rounded at all ends, with a yellowish tint, that reminded of
copper.
Now, if you are going to sit down and think what
meaning that has for your life, you can think long You
may write an entire Dan Brown novel about it!
But its hilarious because this symbol had no other
meaning in my dream than telling me:
Watch out, this is a dream, this is not real, and if you
recognize that, you can wake up and dream consciously!
Dreamwork is important for self-transformative proc-
esses; every little step you make to elucidate your dreams
will be for you a step forward in mastering your real life.
To do this work, no psychological knowledge is required:
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its a contemplative work that uses the instrument of the


soul: intuition. Let me explain it with an allegory: when
you want to understand a great work of art, the best to do
is to contemplate the painting, sculpture, or a design in a
relaxed and passive mood. This takes a minute or it takes a
day, or a month, for all depends on how sharp your intui-
tive perception is! But the key of understanding art is con-
templation, not intellectual study. While art history may
help you frame the work in the historical context, it cannot
help you to unravel the uniqueness of the work, as a
unique expression of human creativity and genius.
We will thus consider
dreams as forms of art cre- There are signals in
ated by our inner mind, or our dreams which
soul, and as such they are have no other mean-
integral messages that we ing than inviting us
need to respect in their mul- to wake up in the
tidimensionality. An intellec- dream so as to be-
tual approach to understand- come aware of the
ing dreams would violate fact that you dream,
their wholeness and bring so that you can
about a fragmented residue dream lucidly!
of the original message. Fur-
thermore, soul healing by the
means of dreamwork is only possible if we treat dream
content as soul content, not if we consider it as a code gib-
berish that needs intellectual deciphering.

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If you wish to have specific guidelines for solving day-


to-day problems, you can address your inner mind at the
moment of going to sleep and formulate, shortly and
clearly, your question. You may get a response right that
night, or later, depending on your readiness to receive an
answer. The answer may not fit your current system of be-
liefs, hence you would either reject the solution or not un-
derstand it. Thats why your soul will only give you the
answer once you are readybut you shall receive it with-
out a doubt.
Sleep research has brought to daylight that dreams are
not recalled unless the sleeper awakens immediately after
the dream, rather than after going on to other stages of
sleep. It also has been seen that motivation plays a decisive
role in the recall of dreams. When you go to bed, take a
firm intention to remember your dreams. This means that
you give yourself a suggestion to remember your dreams
with increasing accuracy. Here is an example:

From now on, I remember my dreams on a daily basis


with increasing accuracy. Every day more, I shall be
amazed at how rich my dream life really is, once I focus
on remembering my dreams. This is wonderful!

Please be aware that the subconscious mind dislikes co-


ercion as you dislike it, so please use a light touch approach
for bringing about dream recall.

Dream researchers reported that when they use effort-


ful intention, the method seemed to fail:

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Stephen LaBerge, Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming, With


Howard Rheingold, New York: Ballantine Books, 1990, 80

It is also important that you dont put your expecta-


tions too high. If you never had lucid dreams before, if you
have never built dream awareness before in your life, to
bring about a single lucid dream is a great achievement. In
the beginning, I suggest you do not even aim at having
lucid dreams, but just remember your ordinary dreams.

It greatly helps to keep a dream journal which you put


by your bed, in easy reach. As soon as you wake up from a
dream, sketch it down in the journal, at least in keywords,
which you work out in the early morning. It is not recom-
mended to wait longer for expanding all of it for you may
be surprised how quickly you forget them once you are
busy with your next days schedule.
If you are good at shorthand or you write very fast, it is
even better to note the dreams as soon as you awaken. As
you record more and more dreams, your dream memory
will greatly improve.
Here is some specific advice what you can do when
you do not remember a dream. Dont change your sleep
position as its conducive to help you remember, and then
recollect pieces and fragments of the dream, and also note
the feelings and register all of that in order to obtain the
entire puzzle. It may not happen immediately but chances
are that later, in a moment you least expect it, the dream
pops again up in your mind. When you recall only once

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scene, ask yourself what happened before that, and before


that, reliving the dream in reverse.
Make yourself a gift and get that dream diary. It should
be something valuable and precious to you, so dont buy
just anything but something you really like and wish to
come home to every day. And buy it exclusively for noting
your dreams. Place it by your bedside to remind yourself
of your intention to write down dreams. You dont need to
have writing skills for doing that; your journal is just a
tool, and anyway for private use only. Keep it safe!
If you get to remember at least one dream per night,
you may venture into lucid dreaming, a topic I will not
cover in this chapter. You may want to check out special-
ized publications on the matter, such as the book quoted
above, which contains many further references and very
useful advice.
I would like to cover more ground instead on basic
techniques you need to master before you can ever attempt
to become lucid in your dreams. Let me explain why. The
truth is that we are dreaming our lives through, not just
when we are asleep. Few are those who are acutely aware
of what is actually going on in their lives. The good news
is that this faculty of vigilant attention can be learnt, but
its, admittedly, not an easy process. It may take consider-
able time.
Our wake life determines our dreams; the other way it
happens as well but to a much lesser degree; its wake con-
sciousness that imprints itself upon dream consciousness.

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In other words, its the conscious mind that impacts upon


the subconscious mind. But how conscious are you really?
Thats all the question.

Tibetan Dream Yoga has developed visualization tech-


niques that are conducive to enhancing our daily aware-
ness level. When you can focus intently and with your
whole energy on a symbol, for an extended period of time,
without being distracted in any way by random thoughts
or anything going around you, you are ready for lucidity
in your dreams not before. And the more you are lucid
in your dreams, the more you shall be lucid after passing
over into the afterlife. The whole of self-development, and
especially dream awareness is not just a gain for your life,
but also, and more importantly, for your death! The more
conscious we go on that ultimate journey, the better we can
cope with the ethereal realm of the afterlife, where mind is
more important than matter not only in the sense of a
metaphor, but in real life, for if you are aware, you will be
able to direct your etheric body wherever you want to and
you can consciously experience whatever you like.
And more importantly, you can stay off any temptation
to get on a stray path that may lead you straight toward
the next incarnation. Reincarnation is not a must for those
who are fully aware, for they can choose their destiny! This
may give you a hint as to the ultimate importance of self-
development which in that sense is actually soul develop-
ment.

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Affirmative Prayer
Now let me explain more about the method that most
of this book is about. I have not put this at the beginning of
the book in order to not give it a too academic touch. So
let us inquire now more in depth what this prayer tech-
nique is actually all about. We have already seen that in-
tention is something rather important in self-development,
for example for waking up in dreams and becoming lu-
cid. If you have never worked on focusing your intention,
it may be nearly impossible to use it for lucid dream incu-
bation. Thats why I believe that first you need to really get
into sharpening your intention by learning a technique for
self-improvement that has been time tested and that is also
in the meantime backed up by neuroscience.

Prayer has gained a new-found popularity in our days


of novelty. Backed by psychosomatic medicine and hailed
as a true path to healing and self-healing by cutting-edge
scientists and physicians such as Larry Dossey or Deepak
Chopra, prayer has today overcome the unwholesome split
between mind and body as it was promoted by Newton and
Descartes who declared our body to be a clockwork ma-
chinery. Results produced by prayer groups are actually so
convincing that chance cannot explain them, and science
was baffled at first, until research on the power of attention
brought in the evidence.
Affirmative prayer or creative prayer as I term it, is
not to be confounded with prayer as part of a religious rit-

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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

ual, the prayer people do in mosques, churches and syna-


gogues.
Its a phenomenon that can be explained with morphic
resonance or the law of associative attraction. Like attracts
like is not only valid for humans, but also for thoughts and
emotions! In ancient times this was expressed with the
metaphor As it is above, so it is below! Abel A. Allen ex-
presses it in his essay As A Man Thinketh with the for-
mula that thought is matter in the sense that it has a defini-
tive and provable influence on life, and is actually the force
that informs destiny.
To put it in a simple way, your thoughts are building
the conduit for what you are going to attract: if they are
positive, you are attracting positive events, things and
people into your life, if they are negative, you are attract-
ing toward yourself experiences, people or events that are
not what you actually desire!

EXERCISE

A. Relax completely
While being in a comfortable position, lying in bed or
sitting relaxed in an arm chair, gently close your eyes and
relax your head, neck, back, arms, and legs. Completely let
go of all muscular and mental tension, and breathe slowly
and restfully. Enjoy the feeling of relaxation and let go of
your thoughts, worries, concerns and plans.

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If you have just awakened from sleep, you are proba-


bly already sufficiently relaxed. Otherwise, you may use
the progressive relaxation exercise.

B. Relax progressively
Progressive relaxation was coined in 1929 by Dr. Ed-
mund Jacobsen from Harvard University. It has ever since
been the most widely used relaxation technique. To begin
with, lie down or sit comfortably in a chair. Close your
eyes.

1. Attend to your breathing


Pay close attention to your breathing without control-
ling it. Allow it to deepen. Take a few breaths by moving
your diaphragm down slightly while inhaling, pushing
your abdomen out and drawing air into your lungs. Allow
yourself to sigh deeply on the exhale, letting tension out as
you do so.

2. Progressively tense and relax each muscle group


Tense and then relax all the muscle groups in your
body, one at a time. Begin with your dominant arm. Bend
your hand backward at the wrist, as if you are trying to
place the back of the hand on your forearm. Hold it tight
for five to ten seconds. Pay attention to the tension. Release
the tension and relax. Note the difference.
Tense and relax again. Pause for twenty to thirty sec-
onds as you take a deep abdominal breath, then exhale
slowly. Repeat the procedure for the other hand. Then re-

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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

peat the whole sequence for your forearms, upper arms,


forehead, jaws, neck, shoulders, abdomen, back, buttocks,
legs, and feet. Pause between each major muscle group,
take a deep breath, and release more tension in a sigh.
(Adapted from Edmund Jacobsen, Progressive Relaxa-
tion, Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1958)
Relaxation induces in our brain the so-called alpha state,
a condition of higher receptivity, which brings about a
higher level of coordination between our two brain hemi-
spheres.
This following overview over all our possible brain
waves reveals that alpha waves are among the longer brain
waves.

The longest brain waves, predominant when we are in


deep slumber and not dreaming are delta waves. They are
0.5 to 3 Hz per cycle. Second among long brain waves are
theta waves, predominant when we are drowsy and drifting
into sleep and dreams; they are 4 to 7 Hz per cycle. Now,
we got the alpha waves which manifest when we are in a
state of relaxation or meditation, and in the short interlude
between wake and sleep; they are 8 to 12 Hz.
Finally, among the short brain waves, we got the beta
waves which are characteristic for our thinking activity, for
our wake state, and for conversation; they are 13 to 30 Hz
per cycle. Last not least, there are ultra short brain waves,
called gamma waves, which are manifesting when our brain
is in overdrive; they are 31 to 120 Hz.

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Delta waves0.5 3 Hz
Deeply asleep and not dreaming

Theta waves4 7 Hz
Drowsy and drifting down into sleep and dreams

Alpha waves8 12 Hz
State of relaxation or meditation

Beta waves13 30 Hz
Busily engaged in activity or conversation

Gamma Waves31 120 Hz


Hyper brain activity

In the state in which alpha waves are predominant in


our brain, the two brain hemispheres have shown to be
most coordinated. This means that our thought processes
while we are in alpha are more integrated.
When are we in alpha?
Typically, in the interval between wake and sleep or,
artificially induced, while we do relaxation. In alpha, typi-
cally our brain functions in a way that left and right brain
hemispheres work together in synergistic and complemen-
tary cooperation. What affirmative prayer does in fact is to
gradually reorient the brain toward a more integrated func-
tioning by dissolving the habit to function only on the left
hemisphere, a habit that is conditioned through our left-
brain oriented education and culture.
The second element that favors whole-brain thinking is
creative visualization, which actively involves our spatial
and pictorial thought capabilities and helps our prayers to
be accompanied by pictorial content.

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This makes for an integrated functioning of the two brain


hemispheres during visualization because imagination is a
right-brain quality while reciting the prayers, as it involves
language, is per se a left-brain activity. Visualization there-
fore enhances imagination and stimulates the right-brain
hemisphere to participate in the creative prayer process.
How to work with the prayers?
Best practice is to calmly recite them at least twice a
day, in the morning after waking up, and in the evening
before going to sleep, so as to profit from the natural re-
laxation that occurs during these special moments of the
day.
Creative prayer helps imprint your subconscious mind
with positive images, images that heal and help you to be
successful and happy in all areas of life.
What creative prayer does in fact is to gradually
change your mindset which is now perhaps a mindset of
limitation, to a mindset of infinite possibilities. Our destiny
as human beings is to be happy, powerful, joyful and blessed.
The only limitations there are, really are the limitations we
set for ourselves.
Therefore, it is essential that you find out about the
black magic of negative thinking. It is negative thinking, and,
resulting from it, wrong action that created much of the
plagues humanity is suffering from till this day.

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BUILD A POSITIVE ATTITUDE


It is not esoteric to have a positive mental attitude. It is
directly related to, and connected with, our daily life expe-
riences and relationships. We do not need philosophical
speculations and concepts in order to adopt a positive atti-
tude. To have more success and achieve more happiness is
not a function of effort alone, nor even of intelligence. All
our outward experiences are the result of our inner attitude
projected onto the interface of real life. Our thought today
is our reality tomorrow, its as simple as that.
Creative prayer helps to create positive reality in trans-
forming your thought structures. Many of us are driven by
negative inner scripts written in early childhood. Some of
these inner programs, or some elements of them, may even
have been imprinted on our mind during former exis-
tences.
These inner programs drive us unconsciously and if
they are negative, they bring about frustration and unsatis-
fying or even hurting life experiences. This is because in-
ner programs are composed of thought and emotional pat-
terns that, since they are repetitive, hold us within a vi-
cious circle of frustrating life experiences that in turn seem
to justify or to confirm our negative worldview.
Positive reality and success, happiness and fulfillment
are not a chance; they are programmed! However, the will
and intention alone to change our inner program are not
enough. They are necessary for the start, and even the
primary condition for it, but they cannot do all the work

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needed to erase decades or even centuries of negative self-


programming.
This is so because much of our inner program is un-
conscious. We are not aware of it and have the impression
that all comes upon us from outside. Hence, the need to
practice, consistently, and with persistence, on a daily ba-
sis. For doing creative prayer, you need to build an un-
wavering inner attitude, for the results will not show up
immediately, which is why you need to persist.

NEVER BLAME YOUR FATE


You may know the story of Job from the Bible. What
does this story tell us? It tells us that blaming fate or God
is not a solution for our problems. It is tempting to blame
your fate especially when you have begun doing affirma-
tive prayer and you dont see results, or you experience
drawbacks and failures despite the fact that you are dili-
gent in doing your daily prayers. This is a normal process.
As an illness worsens once it is treated, for a while, once
you start out with creative prayer, what happens is that the
old garbage in your mind is removed, first of all. If you
have never done affirmations, especially if you are gener-
ally a negative thinker, there may be weeks or even months
needed to clean up the negative thought forms in your
mind.

During that initial period, it is well possible that you


experience drawbacks, as gradually you begin to be aware
of what was formerly deeply repressed in your unconscious:

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your negative attitude! But this is a temporary condition,


and its precisely why you need to persist and not give up.
Job blamed God constantly for his misfortunes; he was
lacking faith, which is a positive expectation, the convic-
tion that only good can come to you. Of course, once you
are in such kind of a pattern, you are creating a negative
spiral, so the more you blame your fate, the more negative
experiences you attract, which reinforces your conviction
that you were born on the wrong side of the tracks, and so
on and so forth.
The only way to get rid of this crux is to uncondition-
ally affirm that you are guarded and watched by a graceful
muse whatever you name it, and that you are taken care of
and guided. This attitude attracts to you what you really
desire!

FORGIVE AND CHOOSE


Once you are committed to changing your basic atti-
tude toward life, you need to understand that you are not
driven by outside forces or other people, but uniquely by
yourself. It means to admit that you are the only cook of
your destiny soup. Which in turn means that you have to
forgive yourself and others regularly and unconditionally,
just like breathing.
After forgiving and in the relaxed state, you calmly re-
cite your prayer, which deeply penetrates into your sub-
conscious mind, especially if you repeat this procedure
several times a day, and over a certain period of time.

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Positive thinking leads to faith, a strong conviction that


you will always attract the very best to you. Faith is not a
mysterious grace fallen from heaven for select beings; it is
available for everyone. It comes about not by chance, but
by the constant intention to benefit others that is sustained
and nourished by positive and empowering prayer.

KEEP IT SHORT
Creative prayer works with mantra-like formulas that
we repeat to ourselves in a relaxed state so that they be-
come part of our unconscious thought pattern. Our overall
mental attitude reflects the program that we run in our
subconscious mind. To change your inner program from
negative to positive, you need to use affirmations that are
to the point, short and clear, not convoluted. Here is how
to do it.
Write your prayer down, using short sentences, and
avoid negative expressions. For example, if you want to
stop smoking, dont write I will not smoke any more, but
write:

Living naturally, like children, is easy and enjoyable for


me. I eat naturally, I breathe naturally, I sleep naturally.
I am free now from any substance that interferes with
my natural condition. This is wonderful!

CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY


What if relativity theory was actually a universal con-
cept in the cosmos, more than a mere science theory but a

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philosophical concept? You only need to remember how


you see the world when you are angry, and how different
it seems to you when you are content and happy.

The inside and the outside are one! When we are black
inside we encounter black outside. It is very strange but
when we are filled with negative emotions, we encounter
negative people, unlucky, unfortunate people, those who
are mutilated, either physically or mentally. Yet when we
are positive and happy, the world seems populated with
angels. This is not a trick of our imagination. It is because
we project our inside world toward the outside and thus
re-create creation.
Once you realize that your inner world creates your
outward reality, you will proceed with care and awareness
when creating your inner reality, or when you recreate it.
You will then watch out what you affirm, also regarding
the world as a whole and other people. You will want to
affirm only the best, and you will affirm harmony as the
guiding principle for all your relationships.

CHANGE YOUR INNER PROGRAM


All of us are driven by an inner program. This program
is a mixture of heritage, upbringing and self-programming.
Unfortunately for many of us, this program is more or less
negative, thus blocking the realization of our evolutionary
potential.
Creative prayer erases or neutralizes the negative con-
tent of this program bit by bit, replacing it by a new and

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positive one. Your inner program is reflected by your self-


talk. If you want to find out about it, you only have to
watch your self-talk or self-thought-talk during one day.

Many of us are not conscious of their self-talk. Perhaps


you will be surprised, once you observe it, how negative it
is, how cynical, disempowering, or how colored by guilt
and fear. You can transform your self-talk so that it serves
to bring you forward instead of blocking you; you can
change your inner black magician into a white magician. If
you wait for others to empower you, you may wait a life-
time!
You are at the root of your success or your failure, you
are the carpenter of your house of life, and it will look
outwardly exactly how you inwardly built it.

BE MORE CREATIVE
Many of us feel they need more creativity or spontane-
ity. They perform well within established ways and rou-
tines, but when it comes to invent, to create new forms, to
change established routines, to open up new pathways of
realization, they have difficulties and feel blocked or inhib-
ited.
This is predominantly the result of a mindset that is too
much left-brain oriented, disregarding the wide range of
creation potential located in our right brain hemisphere.

Our two brain hemispheres carry out different tasks


and are organized in different ways. We reach our full crea-
tive potential only if we imply the right brain hemisphere

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in our thought processes and thus think with both sides of


the brain simultaneously engaged.
This means that our thought processes have to be coor-
dinated so that they work as one whole integrated thought
process that is based upon the harmonious functioning of
the full brain. Learning and creativity are greatly enhanced
from the moment we use the full brain.
With our brain hemispheres its a bit like with the po-
tentialities of two persons. We cannot say that one plus one
equals two when we talk of two people brainstorming for
new solutions. We all know that in this case we have a
multiplication factor or potentiality factor built in the co-
operation of these two people. It is the same with our brain
hemispheres. Left hemisphere plus right hemisphere is not
two, but perhaps millions.
This being said, affirmative prayer is conducive to in-
creasing your creativity potential. There is nothing more
you need to do about it. Suffices you have the firm inten-
tion to be more creative, more spontaneous, and more
flexible, and you affirm this intention in your prayers, as
for example:

Every day more, I receive promptings and monitions


from my subconscious mind that show me surprisingly
simple and creative solutions to all my problems. I give
thanks for the increase of creativity and spontaneity in
my daily life!

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PRACTICE CREATIVE PRAYER

How Can I Be More Useful?


After having followed the general instructions so that
you got some basic experience in connecting to your inner
universe, please get relaxed and focus within you.

Affirm that Infinite Wisdom in you wants your best and


finds now your true place, the place in space and time
where you can and will be supremely useful to all beings
and do the best for humanity.
Repeat the following affirmation about twenty times,
in the morning after waking up, and in the evening when
you go to sleep, or at any time during the day when you
are in a state of relaxation:

Infinite intelligence guides me now to the place, and to


the people and circumstances where I am truly useful in
that all my wonderful gifts and talents will be serving
others and humanity at their highest possible level. I give
thanks for the joy of the answered prayer.

Be confident that after having practiced this affirmation


for about three weeks every day, it will come true. Do not
doubt it! Do not fear anything. Fear and doubt hold your
wishes from coming true.
Every time you feel fearful, every time you doubt, re-
peat the affirmation quietly in your mind, at least ten
times.

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How Can I Lose Weight?


Affirm that Infinite Wisdom in you has created you once
with a perfect body and mind, and a perfect shape of this
body. Affirm that this supreme wisdom in you cannot fail
and will now rebuild your body shape in the most perfect
and the most beautiful way possible.
Visualize as you would like to see yourself when look-
ing in the mirror. Find the ideal picture of yourself and
imprint it on your mind while affirming that the infinite
love in you wants your best and wants you to be beautiful,
attractive, joyful and fulfilled in your love and your desire.
Repeat the following affirmation about twenty times,
in the morning after waking up, and in the evening when
you go to sleep, or at any time during the day when you
are in a state of relaxation:

Infinite intelligence knows my ideal body image. This


image is part of my essential life pattern and it is im-
printed and coded in my cells. I will gradually remember
this original image and shall listen to the promptings
and monitions of my higher self that guide me toward
the right diet. I give thanks for the joy of the answered
prayer.

Be confident that after having practiced this affirmation


for about three weeks every day, it will come true. Do not
doubt it! Do not fear anything. Fear and doubt hold your
wishes from coming true.

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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

Every time you feel fearful, every time you doubt, re-
peat the affirmation quietly in your mind, at least ten
times.

How Can I Stop Smoking?


Affirm that Infinite Wisdom in you has created you once
with a body and mind that did not know the need for
smoking. Connect to the supreme power within you and
affirm that from now on your desire to smoke will de-
crease every day until it will vanish completely.

Do not punish you for smoking, do not blame you for


it, do not criticize yourself or others to have this need. All
punishing, blaming and criticizing will keep you away
from giving up smoking. In the contrary what it does is to
subtly justify your attachment, thereby reinforcing it.

Letting go your desire to smoke goes along with letting


go any justification of it and any rejection of it. Just quietly
affirm that you are now completely free of a desire to
smoke and that your body and mind will completely heal
from the damage you have done to it.

Repeat the following affirmation about twenty times,


in the morning after waking up, and in the evening when
you go to sleep, or at any time during the day when you
are in a state of relaxation:

Infinite intelligence knows my primary body condition.


When I was a small child, I did not know what smoking
is and did not need it. Living naturally, like children, is
easy and enjoyable for me. I eat naturally, I breathe

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naturally, I sleep naturally. I am free now from any sub-


stance that interferes with my natural condition. This is
wonderful!

Be confident that after having practiced this affirmation


for about three weeks every day, it will come true. Do not
doubt it! Do not fear anything. Fear and doubt hold your
wishes from coming true.
Every time you feel fearful, every time you doubt, re-
peat the affirmation quietly in your mind, at least ten
times.

How Can I Be Happy Sexually?


Affirm that Infinite Wisdom in you has created you with
sexual desire and that this desire is good and healthy. Af-
firm that the infinite love in you wants you to be happy
and fulfilled sexually and that it now attracts to you the
ideal partner for a complete union that brings both of you
supreme fulfillment of love and sexual desire.
Do not mind it having strong sexual wishes or urges,
do not blame yourself for it, do not criticize yourself or
others to have this need. All punishing, blaming and criti-
cizing will keep you away from living your sex life natu-
rally.
Repeat the following affirmation about twenty times,
in the morning after waking up, and in the evening when
you go to sleep, or at any time during the day when you
are in a state of relaxation:

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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

Infinite intelligence is my constant guide and counselor.


This wisdom in me knows all my longings and desires
and it wants me to be happy and fulfilled in my love. I
am open now for its wistful guidance, and positively
stimulated to meet the ideal and loving partner who will
cross my way. I know that, when this happens, I remem-
ber this prayer, to be sure it is the mate I have attracted
through this prayer. This is wonderful.

Be confident that after having practiced this affirmation


for about three weeks every day, it will come true. Do not
doubt it! Do not fear anything. Fear and doubt hold your
wishes from coming true.
Every time you feel fearful, every time you doubt, re-
peat the affirmation quietly in your mind, at least ten
times.

How Can I Lead A Life of Fulfillment?


Affirm that the Infinite Wisdom in you has created you
to lead a life of abundance. Observe nature all around you
and become aware that life equals abundance, fullness,
riches and variety. Find out your limiting beliefs and write
them down. Then visualize that divine light dissolves all
those beliefs in you.
Affirm that Infinite Wisdom that has created you with
your longing to live joyfully and abundantly, in accordance
with cosmic law and order. Affirm that all your wishes and
desires do not hurt anybody and bring riches and abundant
life and prosperity not only to yourself but to all beings.

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Repeat the following affirmation about twenty times,


in the morning after waking up, and in the evening when
you go to sleep, or at any time during the day when you
are in a state of relaxation:

Life is sheer abundance. I know that during intercourse,


for fertilizing one single egg, nature provides millions of
sperm cells in one single ejaculation. If I follow the scar-
city paradigm as so many others, I do this because of
conditioning, not because I know better. I do know better
on my subtle, subconscious level. On this innate level of
intelligence, and in my body, I know that life equals
abundance. I thus can only be abundant, and more
abundant. I can only attract more and more of the good I
wish to see in my life, money, riches, variety of experi-
ence, and surplus. The divine order secures a surplus for
my material and spiritual riches at all times, and I give
thanks that this is true. Every time now I have a thought
that affirms anything else but abundance, I immediately
affirm that I am henceforth following the life principle,
which is surplus, ever more surplus, every day, ever
more abundance every day. I feel very happy that this is
so.

Be confident that after having practiced this affirmation


for about three weeks every day, it will come true. Do not
doubt it! Do not fear anything. Fear and doubt hold your
wishes from coming true.
Every time you feel fearful, every time you doubt, re-
peat the affirmation quietly in your mind, at least ten
times.

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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

How Can I Solve Financial Problems?


Become still and grow in awareness that all your prob-
lems are your own creations, the fruit of thought and ac-
tions which were based on erroneous beliefs, the mass
spirit or limitations that you have set for yourself.
Connect to the source within and affirm that your fi-
nancial problems are dissolved this very moment. Affirm
that the Infinite Love & Wisdom that has created you
wishes you to live a life of prosperity, joy and abundance
and to grow in consciousness. This consciousness is within
you and it is free of any limitation and any struggle. It is
but harmony and peace! Feel united with this immense
harmony and peace within you and visualize your prob-
lems wiped out from the screen of your mind, one by one.

Repeat the following affirmation about twenty times,


in the morning after waking up, and in the evening when
you go to sleep, or at any time during the day when you
are in a state of relaxation:

I am here not for suffering endless constraints, but for


living a life of abundance, in accordance with the life
principle, which is positive and life-giving, attracting to
me prosperity, and ever more prosperity. I look upon
money as a divine substance, for everything is made by
one spiritual force. I know matter and spirit are one.
Money is constantly circulating in my life, and I use it
wisely and constructively. Money flows to me freely,
joyously, and endlessly. Money is an idea in the mind of
the universe, and it is good, and very good.

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Be confident that after having practiced this affirmation


for about three weeks every day, it will come true. Do not
doubt it! Do not fear anything. Fear and doubt hold your
wishes from coming true.
Every time you feel fearful, every time you doubt, re-
peat the affirmation quietly in your mind, at least ten
times.

How Can I Become Independent?


Become still and aware that you should not depend on
anybody, neither your partner nor your parents, nor on
any artificial enrichments such as drugs, medicaments, al-
cohol, obsessions or anything else that limits your free-
dom.
Connect to the Infinite Peace & Joy within you and af-
firm that you are now, and forever, entirely and joyfully
free from all that keeps you chained, and affirm freedom for
all the people or things that represent those chains for you.
Become aware that your inner wisdom and power can
only work for your best once you are independent from all
and every bondage. This independence is the condition for
your true interdependence and connectedness to all-that-
is..
Affirm that your true destiny is a free, unlimited hu-
man being, full of joy and growing every day in riches of
all kinds.
Repeat the following affirmation about twenty times,
in the morning after waking up, and in the evening when

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you go to sleep, or at any time during the day when you


are in a state of relaxation:

I am free, unconditionally and joyfully free from all


chains and from all bondage. It is my birthright as a
human being to be free and to be a being of choice. I can
only choose when I am free, which is why freedom is the
very condition human life is based upon. As a volitional
being, I make choices every day, and I am choosing
peace, happiness, abundance, love, fulfillment and pros-
perity. My life is directed by my choices, and I am choos-
ing right now, I am choosing what is in accordance with
the life principle and what brings me and all around me
true freedom and abundance with every day to come.
This is wonderful.

Be confident that after having practiced this affirmation


for about three weeks every day, it will come true. Do not
doubt it! Do not fear anything. Fear and doubt hold your
wishes from coming true.

Every time you feel fearful, every time you doubt, re-
peat the affirmation quietly in your mind, at least ten
times.

How Can I Become and Remain Healthy?


Become still and grow in awareness that Infinite Energy
has created you according to its perfect image and that
your illness is the fruit of your own destructive thought
patterns and the perpetuation, in your thought and feel-
ings, of negative or traumatic life experiences. Affirm that
the perfect image in you is becoming manifest now every

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day more in your mind, psyche and body, that the divine
in you cannot be sick and that you are one forever with
this divine image in you that is perfect, unspoiled, pure,
healthy and radiant of joy and life.
Affirm that your true destiny is perfect health, joy and
growing vitality, strength and riches of all kinds.
Repeat the following affirmation about twenty times,
in the morning after waking up, and in the evening when
you go to sleep, or at any time during the day when you
are in a state of relaxation:

Health is my natural condition, the natural condition of


all life in the cosmos. Health is balance, a balance of yin
and yang in me, a balance in my actions, in all my be-
havior, in my thoughts, in my emotions, and in my rela-
tionships. Health is radiance, vibrant strength and
power. Health is the nature in me at full blossom. I am
thus healthy by nature. This natural force in me grows
stronger with every day and it gradually dissolves all
that is unhealthy in me. Health is indeed my birthright
and I affirm it now and every coming day when I wake
up in the morning and before I go to bed. I am healthy
now, and remain healthy, and this is wonderful.

Be confident that after having practiced this affirmation


for about three weeks every day, it will come true. Do not
doubt it! Do not fear anything. Fear and doubt hold your
wishes from coming true.

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AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

Every time you feel fearful, every time you doubt, re-
peat the affirmation quietly in your mind, at least ten
times.

The Impact of Music


Music has a considerable impact upon our unconscious
and our psyche in general, especially Baroque strong mu-
sic and classical music. Ancient acoustic instruments, such
as the guitar or lute, the cembalo, the cello, the violin and
the contrabass exude harmonious vibrations for our entire
vibrational organism. This is so because we are essentially
vibration. All life is vibration, and the human organism is
by far the most complex of all vibrational devices on the
planet. This is why negative vibrations can affect us badly,
they may render us ill over time.

This is something we are increasingly confronted with,


a topic that is in the media now almost daily, for our body
reacts in alarming ways to both very short and very long
waves; similarly it reacts defensively to sounds which are
ultra low frequency, such as the buzzing sounds around
electric transformers. Physicians, psychologists and sound
researchers are telling us with increasing stress that we are
today surrounded by toxic sounds and frequencies that are
somehow the price we pay for our high-tech civilization.
By the same token, this research has found that musical
instruments that emit frequencies between 5000 and 8000
Hz are the most beneficial for psychosomatic health, a fact
that was known to ancient healers in most ancient wisdom

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traditions. For example in ancient Greece, the Lyre was


used for healing, a string instrument similar to the modern
lute, with the difference however that it was tuned in
whole tones, such as, for example, the Japanese Koto or the
Chinese Zheng.
Another instrument that has a very beneficial impact
on our psyche and organism is the Harp. It was for good
reason always associated with angels, and with the invisi-
ble strings of love! From the Gestalt, the harp is most
closely related to the ancient Lyre, with strings aligned ver-
tically that are plucked from the side. And both in ancient
Greece and today, the players of these magic instruments
were women, not men!

Structurally balanced music has been shown to incor-


porate the divine proportion in the composition; this also
is an important element that needs to be considered in the
consideration of which music is beneficial for our organ-
ism. Its not only the instrument but also the music that is
played on it.
For example, the music of Bach, Vivaldi, Handel, Tele-
mann, Haydn, Mozart or Beethoven, and especially the
even older Renaissance Lute music exudes positive vibra-
tions that foster inner harmony and balance in our psyche
and body. This is also and especially the case with music
that was deliberately composed with the divine proportion
in mind such as the music of Hildegard von Bingen.

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It is very important in this context that the musical in-


struments be acoustic, not digital, for a digital instrument
is deprived of overtones, and thus has no soul.

It doesnt vibrate together with our bodys frequency,


our inner strings. Suffices to take a simple guitar, a cello,
flute or a piano, and really listen to the sounds produced,
and you will feel that the vibration affects your mind and
body, in a way that may surprise you, if you never actually
made the experiment.
Great music has a direct access to our soul! Without music
there is no creation, no life, for all our universe is nothing
but a gigantic musical instrument, and life is a cosmic
dance!

There is no better way


for experiencing religious It is very important in
ecstasy and contemplate this context that the
wholeness than to use high-
musical instruments
quality music to get you in
be acoustic, not digi-
a trance-state that helps you
tal, for a digital in-
to surpass your conceptual
strument is deprived
thought interface, and ven-
of overtones, and
ture into the realms of true
thus has no soul.
creativeness.

The ancient myth of Or-


pheus conveys a very important message: the enchanting
effect of music. If you dont believe it, you dont have to
for you can explore the matter in a scientific manner. It is a
fact that music harmonizes our two brain hemispheres and

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coordinates them, and that it gives structure to our


thoughts and emotions.
Depending on your personal preferences, you may not
want to use progressive relaxation, as I presented it above
in this chapter, but music for getting you into a state of di-
rect lucid awareness; you may not want to use meditation
either, so much the more as its a technique born in the East
which has barely any connection with our own culture.

If you choose music for guidance, healing and creativ-


ity boosting, you have chosen a powerful catalyzer, but you
need to listen to the right music. I wont write more about
this subject here, for its not for everybody to choose the
direct way to heaven and you need to develop your in-
tuition for distinguishing good music from bad music, and
good vibrations from bad vibrations. Its difficult to ex-
press this in language other than music itself which is of
course a language, and an innate one, for that matter.

The Spontaneous Artist


Last not least, I propose an auto-therapeutic method I
am working with since more than twenty years. It has been
called spontaneous art; some call it serendipity art.
It is art that comes without a technique, which means
that everybody can do it. You just need paper, crayons, or
water color, gouache, felt pens, markers, or whatever you
prefer to express yourself with colors and forms. The most
important in spontaneous art is that you create what comes
to mind, without using your rational thought interface.
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This means that you do not judgethis is very impor-


tant! Forgot as much as possible what was told in school,
in your art class, and what you learned about great visual
artists. We are not here for becoming great painters, we are
here for healing ourselves! Thats a marked difference in
intention and thats why you can relax and let go, and
leave behind all your preconceptions about art creation.
Every child is an artist, the problem is to keep creat-
ing like a child once one is grown up! said Picasso.
There is thus no need that what you produce has any
resemblance with outward reality. The idea is to express
your inner reality!
Who says that our inner world is less real than the
world around us ignores that fact that humans come with
a unique faculty called the imaginal realm. In the words
of psychiatrist Robert M. Stein:

Creative psychological development, indi-


viduation, is dependent on spiritual freedom.
When we say, for example, a man has a free
spirit, do we mean that he freely or necessarily
transgresses the imposed manners, mores and
taboos of his culture? I think not. But it does
mean the freedom to do anything or go any
place he desires in the imaginal realm. He is a
man who has clearly distinguished the sacral,
timeless world from the secular, historical
world. He knows he can move with unashamed

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dignity among the gods and demons which be-


long to the mundane world.

Robert M. Stein, Redeeming the Inner Child in Marriage and


Therapy, in: Reclaiming the Inner Child, ed. by Jeremiah Abrams, New
York: Tarcher/Putnam, 1990, 261 ff., at 265

Spontaneous art is a way to exteriorize our inner im-


ages. Everybody can do that.

Thats why we are all born artists. We only have to let


go and do it.
There is no need to interpret the images, forms, sym-
bols or colors that will produce; the effect is therapeutic, a
direct expression of our subconscious mind. This is so be-
cause all what comes to the surface of consciousness loses
its negative energy and becomes positively transformed. In
reality, its our ego with its dualistic thinking, its splitting
off life in good and bad that creates inner tension. Its
our inner war, the eternal struggle of self against self, so
deeply rooted in our cultural heritage.
Spontaneous art was known to sages, shamans and
healers around the world, since times immemorial.
The adaptation to norms and social rules we are all go-
ing through during our younger years is a dialectic process
in the sense that total adaptation would result in the loss of
individualitywe would become robotswhereas total
rebellion would lead us into a more or less painful state of
isolation from society that would equally not result in
happiness. Thus, a midway needs to be found between in-

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dividuality and adaptation to society, so that we can ex-


pand our individual vision of the world within the whole
of society, without transgressing the limits of the self and
interfering in the boundaries of others.

Rewrite Your Life


Writing bridges the conscious and the subconscious
mind. It is a psycho-neuromuscular activity and lit-
erally imprints the brain.

STEPHEN R. COVEY, THE 8TH HABIT, 157

Rewriting your life is a neurointegrative process in that


your conscious mind interacts with your subconscious mind;
this interaction is astonishingly not limited to the time
spent in writing but has also an after-effect. It may well go
over the next 48 hours and even a few days. This is why
every writing session, when you write with your imagina-
tion engaged, is a process of restructuring your entire think-
ing process, and thereby an agent for healing.
In other words, writing makes order in your mind; by
putting words on things, events and feelings, you are rais-
ing your personal life to a cultured life, for culture is lan-
guage.
This is the reason why writing down your dreams con-
tributes to building self-awareness. Even more so, when
you rewrite your autobiography, you are changing the
framework of the reactive psyche into a new framework
of acting psyche. Let me explain.

167
THE BETTER LIFE

I wrote my autobiography at a time of inner turmoil


and deliberate change, in my thirties; it was around one
thousand pages and covered just the slice of time until age
33. In this text I had really undertaken a psychoanalysis
not only of each family member but also of the family cli-
mate; and the result was totally disempowering.
I had painted my life entirely in black color, influenced
by the psychology of the 1960s and 70s that reduced all in
life to what we have experienced as a child, a psychology
that denied karma and personal responsibility by and
large. It was basically saying: When you had a bad child-
hood, you can never have a good life.
In this sense, this psychology was deterministic and
left little room for personal achievement if only one had a
difficult childhood.
Today we know that this psychology was mechanistic
as we are not driven by events suffered in childhood. Neu-
roscience has given us the proof in recent years that our
brain is incredibly flexible and has amazing plasticity for
our neuronet to be changed when there is a deliberate in-
tention to do so, and we act upon this intention. In addi-
tion, studying the lives of many highly successful people, I
found that they grew and grow through challenges, not
because they had ideal conditions at any time in their busy
lives. And busy they are, and even as children!
I realized that rewriting our autobiography is the way
to achieve this seemingly uncanny transformation.

168
AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

It doesnt mean to cover up negative events or experi-


ences; it rather means to put the focus on the positive ones.
We all had and have both positive and negative experi-
ences in life. Research delivered the proof that people do
not grow into failures or successes because they had more
negative or more positive experiences in their lives, but
because they react differently upon those experiences.
In other words, there is a space between stimulus and
response, and there the people who are successful use this
space for giving meaning to the pain they experience,
while the others dont.
What happens when we do that? We acknowledge that
life is a learning process and that often in life we learn
more through hardship than we do when everything runs
smoothly.
In addition, neuroscientists discovered that we remem-
ber negative events and experiences more readily than positive
ones. This is probably one of the reasons why our first
autobiographic sketch, especially when written in younger
years, is almost always one in which we try to blame par-
ents, teachers or destiny for our shortcomings. In my own
case, I did not exercise at that time the inner space that
would have shown me that my childhood had been a tre-
mendous learning experience that enriched and strength-
ened me.
It was only more than twenty years later that I discov-
ered the positive benefits of rewriting my life in the way I
present it now in this program.
169
THE BETTER LIFE

Q & A Session
Q. What are the head and the coin of Life Authoring?
A. Its a metaphor for the fact that the relationship with
maintain with others reflects the relationship we have with
ourselves. In Antiquity this was called Know Thyself.
When this inner dialogue is constructive, we experience
inner coherence, which is something like an alignment
with the higher purpose of the universe. In other words,
there is a dialectic relationship between our inner reality
and the world around us.

Q. Why is dialogue of importance at all?


A. All human history teaches that at the beginning of
war there is a rupture of dialogue between the warring
states. On the inner level, it is important to embrace all our
emotions and integrate them. All the energies we disown
will turn against us. Hence the importance of a dialogue
with all our inner entities or energies.

Q. How would you define voice dialogue?


A. Voice dialogue is a method for getting in touch with
our inner selves. It requires us to get into the alpha state
through relaxation, for relaxation lowers our inner de-
fenses and makes are more focused on our inner processes.

Q. What are some of the things we can heal in the al-


pha state?
A. We can heal childhood trauma, change or self-image
or reprogram ourselves positively.

170
AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

Q. Why do some people experience a repetition urge?


A. Its an automatism of our brain and has to do with
the trauma response. When we experience trauma, our
brain always protects us by a response that releases the
emotional pain by substantially reducing conscious per-
ception of the event, and subsequently represses the
memories of it in the unconscious. This results in our sur-
viving the hurt sanely, but has the disadvantage that later
we will face a repetition urge which means that our or-
ganism tries to repeatedly bring about a similar event in
order for us to react to it properly and thus gain the over-
hand.

Q. What happens in our luminous body when we ex-


perience traumatic events?
A. Imprints will be created in the luminous body. The
memory lapse or amnesia is only one effect; another is the
fact that such traumatic events leave in our luminous en-
ergy field an impression which causes our energy flow to
stagnate or turn negative with the result that our emo-
tional flow and balance are impaired.

Q. Can you name one well-known result of those im-


prints in our luminous body?
A. Its the so-called fear of life, a general fear or anxi-
ety that has no direct object.

Q. What may happen if imprints in our luminous en-


ergy field are not detected and healed?

171
THE BETTER LIFE

A. They may cause physical and mental illness and


they also have an impact upon our sexuality and the way
we handle our emotions.

Q. What is the best therapeutic approach for healing


those imprints?
A. Its to revitalize the emotional flow, the vital energy
flow of the entire organism, which will restore inner har-
mony and peace.

Q. Do we need a professional therapy or psychiatric


counsel for doing that?
A. No, it can be done in meditation or through the
equivalent process of introspection, at least as long as no
somatization of such an imprint has taken place yet. In
case physical or mental disease has set in, professional
counsel is of course needed and recommended!

Q. Can you name a typical signal that healing is taking


place?
A. Typically, in such a case, key events from early
childhood are suddenly remembered, and when we follow
up to such keys we may detect the original event that led
to the trauma response.

Q. What is another term for the younger self?


A. Inner child.

Q. What kind of child is that inner child?

172
AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

A. Its the child we have been in the past and that we


have internalized. Its energy is still present in our psyche
and we can establish a fruitful dialogue with this inner en-
tity. However, with many people, the inner child has to be
recovered first as it was silenced by the inner controller of
the person. With most people in our culture, the inner
child is in a state of catalepsy and needs not only to be re-
covered, but also to be healed.

Q. What is the one single most important influence of


the inner child on us?
A. Its the immense creativity of our inner child, its
youthful careless approach to convention, conditioning,
dogma, rules and regulations, and authority. The inner
child is badly needed for the creative process, and all crea-
tors are aware of that in one way or the other.

Q. How to deal with inner images?

A. We automatically create mental images about our-


selves, other people, and the world at large. These images
may condition us if we are not aware of them, and do not
regularly destroy them, thereby refreshing our perception.
In relationships, these inner images can really have de-
structive effects for they actually constitute projections.
These projections lead to sentimentality and falseness in
the relationship, and they are often the cause for divorce,
both in intimate relationships and in business relations.

173
THE BETTER LIFE

Q. How has the idea of heroic humans contribute to


such kind of projections, and thereby to sentimentality and
falseness in the public discussion about human qualities?

A. The hero culture is the result of the solar world-


view, as Joseph Campbell put it. Its the result of a patriar-
chal bias that puts the male up as a superior entity that the
female has to serve. In its modern form, this patriarchal
aspect is hidden, however, and what remains are huge pro-
jections made upon certain people in the sentimental long-
ing to better human nature. Apart from the fact that hu-
man nature is perfect as it is and doesnt need to be bet-
tered, the main quest of heroism is actually war, in all its
forms, war of the sexes, war between religions, war be-
tween nations, war between concepts, war between
worldviews, and so on. Its an eternally conflictual world-
view that is often falsely justified by Darwins evolution-
ary theory. In fact, its a compensation for feelings of in-
adequacy that are rampant in every solar culture and
which are the result of a harsh and insensitive education of
children.

Q. How to bridge our subconscious mind?


A. One of the best ways is to remember and note down
our dreams, as they are the language of our subconscious
mind. Without interpreting dreams, as this leads to intel-
lectual assumptions and projections, we should capture
their soul content, and their emotional content. They al-
ways speak in metaphors but we need to learn our inner
language in order to understand them intuitively. This
174
AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

cannot be learnt in theory; the understanding of dreams


comes with dreamwork practice over quite extended peri-
ods of time.

Q. How can the subconscious mind help you with your


daily problems?
A. You can address your inner mind at the moment of
going to sleep and formulate, shortly and clearly, your
question. You may get a response that night, or later, de-
pending on your readiness to receive an answer.

Q. What is the best time for dream recall?


A. Research has shown that the best time is to directly
awaken after the dream rather than waiting until the
morning to recall and note the dreams. What happens
when we experience several REM phases (which are the
dream phases) during the night, typically only the most
recent ones we be recall at the time of waking up, while the
earlier ones are forgotten. However, through extended pe-
riods of dreamwork, dream recall steadily increases and
after some time it may be possible to remember all the
dreams of one night, one after the other, typically going
from the last to the first, in reverse order.

Q. What is important physically for dream recall?


A. Research has shown that we recall dreams better
when we adopt the same sleeping position in which they
occurred, which means that the best way to recall your
dreams is to maintain your last sleeping position while

175
THE BETTER LIFE

mentally rehearsing the dreams until you have embraced


them safely by your rational mind, and have memorized
them. Then you get up and note them down.

Q. What is the best way of fostering dream recall?


A. To put paper and pen next to the bed, every night,
and use this also during the night to at least jot down some
memory hints to better recall dreams in the early morning.

Q. What is affirmative prayer? Are there any other


terms to denote the same thing?
A. Affirmative prayer has also been called scientific
prayer (Dr. Joseph Murphy) or self-suggestion or auto-
suggestion. I myself termed it creative prayer because
this kind of prayer, which is not the prayer we do in
churches, mosques and synagogues, is a creative response
to life, and has a direct creative impact upon our life.

Q. What is the impact music has upon our psyche, and


even our physical body?
A. Music is vibration as all in our universe is related to
vibration. In addition, music is a function of time and thus
can put us in a sort of timeless state for as long as the mu-
sic plays. According to the type of music, and its quality,
the vibration it has upon us may be positive or negative. It
is our responsibility to choose good and constructive mu-
sic for a positive impact upon us. In ancient times, music
was used for healing the body. Music was also used for
invoking ecstasy in religious ceremonies. This is still today

176
AUTHOR YOUR LIFE

the case to a certain extent when the church organ plays


during the mass. Research has shown that music has an
impact even upon the human fetus. For having a good
natural vibration, music should be played on acoustic, not
digital instruments.

Q. Why is spontaneous art, next to writing essays and


practicing creative prayer, a part of life authoring?

A. It serves the expression of our repressed emotions,


and as such has therapeutic value.

Q. What does it mean to rewrite your life?


A. Rewriting your life is a neurointegrative process in
that your conscious mind interacts with your subconscious
mind. This leads to a restructuring of your entire thinking
process, and thereby is an agent for self-healing. It is an old
truth that writing is healing, and the technique of life
authoring has given this truth a new form of expression.

177
Chapter Six
Parenting Toward Autonomy

Seek not that the things which happen should hap-


pen as you wish; but wish the things which happen
to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow
of life.

EPICTETUS

If you do not have children, do not think that this chap-


ter bypasses you, for you can still apply the teaching to the
relationship with your inner child. If you do have children,
it may all come over to you as uncanny, or even daring! Be
it so.
This chapter teaches you the value of autonomy, and I
believe there is nothing more important for leading a life
that is better than good. Why is this so?
THE BETTER LIFE

Autonomy is the key to sustainable growth, and while


this has never been questioned for the animal realm, our
modern educational paradigm, with its strong component
of child protection has gone very far astray, and actually
has created a breeding lot for parent-child codependence.
Let me explain. Autonomy is fundamental for every
being in-growth. Without autonomy, there is fusion, sym-
biosis and dependence. While for certain organisms, such
as the human newborn, symbiosis with the mother for a
certain time is a biological necessity, this symbiosis is time-
bound and should gradually give rise to autonomy. While
natural symbiosis is needed for the first eighteen months
of the newborn, it should gradually come to an end after
that period. Unfortunately, modern culture is more or less
completely dysfunctional regarding this primal movement
from fusion to autonomy that should take place, dynami-
cally, in the growth process of the human baby.
What happens is that the necessary biological symbio-
sis with the mother, eighteen months from birth, is ne-
glected for various reasons; many babies suffer from a
more or less stringent tactile deprivation that will leave scars
for their whole lives. In order to compensate for the lack of
care bestowed upon the infant, as a guilt-reaction and for
various other reasons, the post-symbiosis condition is not
better for the child: instead of growing into autonomy
most children in our culture grow into codependence with
their parents and caretakers; instead of building a gradu-
ally larger extent of autonomy, parents tend to gradually

180
PARENTING TOWARD AUTONOMY

entangle their children in a tight net of stiffening depend-


encies.
A naturally raised child is typically more independent
and more autonomous than a child who is rarely touched,
or lacks affection and has become neurotic. The frequently
observed clinging behavior of modern city children, their
helpless, clumsy and irresponsible behavior, even as late as
when approaching puberty, their immaturity in handling
sharp or fragile objects such as knives or glasses show well
their neurotic blockage and codependent entanglement
with their parents.
There is a natural striving for autonomy built into every
growing life. A child of three years of age needs more
autonomy than a child of fifteen months of age. For exam-
ple, a toddler of eighteen months needs more autonomy
than a baby of five months. Many parents ignore that ba-
bies, toddlers and pre-schoolers, already before reaching
the age of primary school, need to develop autonomy.

Many adults believe that children grew through magic


shifts, like the one from babyhood to childhood, from
childhood to youth and from youth to adulthood. The first
shift is believed to take place around seven years of age,
the next one around twelve years of age and the final one
around eighteen years of age.
Sorry, but this is really talking about myths. These
shifts dont exist in real life as all growth is gradual and
smooth. This is why all education should be gradual and
smooth. While it is a good thing to have certain initiation

181
THE BETTER LIFE

rites or ceremonies that mark important steps in the


growth of children, these rites are what they are: mark
stones that border an otherwise seamless road. I arrive at a
mark stone, I see the mark stone, I touch the mark stone, I
pass the mark stone, I remember the mark stone. My pass-
ing the mark stone is gradual, and smooth in time, and the
mark stone itself is of lesser importance than my passing it.
What is important is that I constantly grow, that I re-
main moving. We learn the basic movement into auton-
omy during our first year of life, and not later on during
adolescence or when we allegedly turn into that magic
world of adulthood.
I do not belittle the important changes that take place
in the life of adolescents, and their sometimes passionate
focus upon getting more autonomy, nor do I belittle the
marking shift from adolescence into final adulthood. But
often we observe that especially those adolescents who
have rather repressive and possessive parents get onto the
obnoxious track and really push it through for every mil-
limeter of increased autonomy. There is a logic in every
behavior and adolescents who put high stress on auton-
omy have a reason to do so. The reason is rooted in much
earlier years, in the years of babyhood.

What is Parent-Child Codependence?


Parent-Child Codependence frequently if not typically
occurs within the modern nuclear family. I use the follow-

182
PARENTING TOWARD AUTONOMY

ing terms synonymously with codependence: co-fusion, sec-


ondary fusion, pseudo-fusion and symbiotoholism.
The major part of the literature deals with codepend-
ence in the partner relation, while my own research fo-
cuses on parent-child codependence and the resulting lack
of autonomy in children, typical for modern society.
The problem manifests in the parent-child relation
typically for the first time after the critical mother-infant
symbiosis, and thus as a general rule after the first eighteen
months of the newborn.
What is generally very little known is the fact that even
before the completion of the 18th month of the infant,
mother and child are interacting in a subtle communica-
tion about limits which reveals to what extent the mother
is able and willing to give the infant autonomy, or not. This
early dialogue, that is most of the time nonverbal, has been
found to deeply condition people for their later relational
behavior patterns.

In other words, codependence is a compensation reac-


tion of entangled organisms that tries to heal a split caused
by a lack of early parent-child intimacy.
The entanglement paradoxically comes about through
a lack of physical closeness, and of communication, and gen-
erally the tactile deprivation of the child, and also through
non-physical elements such as parents thoughts con-
stantly focused on money and status or children generally
relegated to receiving affection from secondary caretakers,
babysitters, house teachers, and the like.
183
THE BETTER LIFE

The entanglement specifically comes about through lack-


ing autonomy of the child, and of lacking exposure to experi-
ences and a social life outside of the family. This has been
shown with abundant evidence by the long-term research
of James W. Prescott, Ashley Montagu, Michel Odent, Fre-
derick Leboyer, Alexander Lowen and the outspoken
teaching on the matter by the late child psychotherapist
Franoise Dolto.

The problem of codependence is for obvious reasons


much more stringent in the individualistic and separative
modern consumer culture than in highly sociable open
societies such as African, South American or Asian cul-
tures. Yet in these societies today we face the problem in
the middle and upper classes as well because they have
adopted consumer values and a lifestyle that is modeled
by the media, thereby shunning their own perennial wis-
dom that their grandparents still were knowledgeable
about.

There are many false signals in todays popular culture


and vulgarized psychological publications.
These false signals lead to parents becoming more and
more insecure as to the role physical affection plays in par-
enting. This makes that parents are more or less constantly
bombarded with ambiguous messages with the result that
many of them anxiously retreat physically from their chil-
dren, thereby enclosing them in atrocious feelings of aban-
donment, loneliness and despair.

184
PARENTING TOWARD AUTONOMY

As a result of the misguided 1960s American pediat-


rics, that fostered a physical separation between parents
and child which in the meantime is seen as a fundamental
error, many of todays parents have never had an affec-
tionate childhood themselves and become dysfunctional
parents of their own children.
Another important insight into mother-child codepend-
ence is that it deprives the child, typically the boy, of the
time and care needed for developing his true intelligence.
Men who grow up entangled with their mothers are
caught in a net of stiffening responsibilities, or obligations,
or what is felt as such, which impedes them from really
thinking of themselves, and minding their own business.
The result is that they hardly think their projects through
to the end, constantly harassed by their demanding moth-
ers, threatened with love denial or even financial starving
in case they disobey and begin to live their own lives. In
this sense, the son bears the cross, so to speak, for the sins
committed by his mother.

Autonomy is a Biological Function


That autonomy is a biological function may sound as-
tonishing and novel in the ears of psychologists, but sys-
tems research has clearly brought to daylight that auton-
omy is built into the very structure of living systems. Its
thus not just an add-on to a modern education that pre-
vents parent-child emotional entanglement, which was one

185
THE BETTER LIFE

of the flaws of authoritarian education with its unhealthy


codependence between caretaker and child.
In order to explain the why and how, I need first eluci-
date what autopoiesis is. Fritjof Capra, in his book The Web
of Life (1976) calls it the pattern of life. According to sys-
tem researchers Humberto Maturana and Francisco Varela,
the key characteristic of a living network is that it continu-
ally produces itself.

Autopoiesis, or self-making, is a network pat-


tern in which the function of each component is
to participate in the production or transforma-
tion of other components in the network. In this
way the network continually makes itself. It is
produced by its components and in turn pro-
duces those components.

Fritjof Capra, The Web of Life (1996), 162.

Autopoiesis can best be explained with the functional


unit of a plant cell. There are the basic components, the
membrane, the nutrient fluid, the nucleus and several spe-
cialized parts called organelles, which are analogous to
our body organs; the most important of those organelles
are the storage sacs, recycling centers, powerhouses, and
solar stations. Like the cell as a whole, the nucleus and the
organelles are surrounded by semipermeable membranes
that select what comes in and what goes out. The cell
membrane, in particular, takes in food and dissipates
waste.

186
PARENTING TOWARD AUTONOMY

I will now skip all further explanations about the func-


tionality of the living cell, and jump ahead to page 167 of
the book, where Fritjof Capra writes:

Since all components of an autopoietic network


are produced by other components of the net-
work, the entire system is organizationally
closed, even though it is open with regard to
the flow of energy and matter. This organiza-
tional closure implies that a living system is
self-organizing in the sense that its order and
behavior are not imposed by the environment
but are established by the system itself. In other
words, living systems are autonomous. This
does not mean that they are isolated from their
environment. On the contrary, they interact
with the environment through a continual ex-
change of energy and matter. But this interac-
tion does not determine their organiza-
tionthey are self-organizing. Autopoiesis,
then, is seen as the pattern underlying the phe-
nomenon of self-organization, or autonomy,
that is so characteristic of all living systems.
(Id., 167-168).

What is true inside the cell is true in outward life. This


is so because there is only one life, and one law of life,
which unites all phenomena that we can observe about
life. The growth of a cell can be mirrored in the growth of a
human baby. And as living systems need autonomy for
healthy growth, so do children. This is something not read-
187
THE BETTER LIFE

ily understood in modern consumer culture, which is why


I have set out to write about it.
The late French child therapist Franoise Dolto (1908-
1988) has stressed how important it is to grant children
autonomy, from early on, over the entire period of their
growing up, virtually from infancy over adolescence into
adulthood. The scars of lacking autonomy in childhood are
real and difficult to heal. Our behavior is strongly condi-
tioned by our feeling of freedom, and in this sense, auton-
omy means freedom, while the contrary, codependence with
our caretakers means bondage and emotional manipula-
tion.
Now, after you got this information about the roots of
emotional abuse, which may be novel for you, what are
you going to do with the raising of your children, and how
will you cope with their budding sexuality? (In the Bibli-
ography you find enlightening literature about this issue
that is so much a problem in our morality-based culture).

But to not complicate matters, let us discuss the prob-


lem here in its more general perspective. First of all, let me
ask: do you want your children have a life that is better
than good, and thus do you want to have them what you
want to enjoy for yourself? I am asking that for is you put
a categorical No here, our dialogue about this matter does
not even start, right?

188
PARENTING TOWARD AUTONOMY

Q & A Session
Q. Why is autonomy the key for sustainable growth?
A. This is a simple biological truth. All life strives to be
autonomous, thus autonomy is fundamental for every
being-in-growth. Without autonomy, there is fusion, sym-
biosis and dependence. While for certain organisms, such
as the human newborn, symbiosis with the mother for a
certain time is a biological necessity, this symbiosis is time-
bound and should gradually give rise to autonomy. While
natural symbiosis is needed for the first eighteen months
of the newborn, it should gradually come to an end after
that period.

Q. What is going wrong in modern times with the edu-


cation of the small child?
A. Unfortunately, modern culture is more or less com-
pletely dysfunctional regarding this primal movement
from fusion to autonomy that should take place, dynami-
cally, in the growth process of the human baby.

What happens is that the necessary biological symbio-


sis with the mother, eighteen months from birth, is ne-
glected for various reasons; many babies suffer from a
more or less stringent tactile deprivation that will leave
scars for their whole lives. In order to compensate for the
lack of care bestowed upon the infant, as a guilt-reaction
and for various other reasons, the post-symbiosis condition
is not better for the child: instead of growing into auton-
omy most children in our culture grow into codependence

189
THE BETTER LIFE

with their parents and caretakers; instead of building a


gradually larger extent of autonomy, parents tend to
gradually entangle their children in a tight net of stiffening
dependencies.
A naturally raised child is typically more independent
and more autonomous than a child who is rarely touched,
or lacks affection and has become neurotic. The frequently
observed clinging behavior of modern city children, their
helpless, clumsy and irresponsible behavior, even as late as
when approaching puberty, their immaturity in handling
sharp or fragile objects such as knives or glasses show well
their neurotic blockage and codependent entanglement
with their parents.

Q. What is parent-child codependence?


A. The lack of primary symbiosis later on leads to
parent-child codependence which is one of the most strin-
gent and yet almost unknown problems in child rearing
today. The result is a host of complications in the natural
process of child rearing which can in extreme cases result
in autism and psychosis, and in the average case leads to a
perversion of the sexual response in the later adult, and
codependent partner relations. Its one of the most hidden
problems of our time yet it has disastrous consequences for
peoples ability to handle their emotions and their sexual
attraction. It also leads to domestic violence with men later
in life who have been raised by narcissistic and codepend-
ent mothers.

190
PARENTING TOWARD AUTONOMY

Q. Why can we say that autonomy is a biological func-


tion?
A. Systems research has clearly brought to daylight
that autonomy is built into the very structure of living sys-
tems. Its thus not just an add-on to a modern education
that prevents parent-child emotional entanglement, which
was one of the flaws of authoritarian education with its
unhealthy codependence between caretaker and child.

Living systems are characterized by autopoiesis, which


means self-making and is a network pattern in which the
function of each component is to participate in the produc-
tion or transformation of other components in the network.
In this way the network continually makes itself (Fritjof
Capra).
The growth of a cell can be mirrored in the growth of a
human baby. And as living systems need autonomy for
healthy growth, so do children. This is something not read-
ily understood in modern consumer culture, which is why
I have set out to write about it.
The scars of lacking autonomy in childhood are real
and difficult to heal. Our behavior is strongly conditioned
by our feeling of freedom, and in this sense, autonomy
means freedom, while the contrary, codependence with
our caretakers means bondage and emotional manipula-
tion.

191
Chapter Seven
Making Friends

If you would have your children and your wife and


your friends to live forever, you are silly; for you
would have the things which are not in your power
to be in your power, and the things which belong to
others to be yours.

EPICTETUS

You have certainly observed that there are people who


have dozens of friends, and others who have only a few.
What is the reason, do you think? Could it be chance?

Or is it likely to be something within us, our character,


our behavior, our attitude? Is there something like a win-
ning attitude?
When I say winning I do not mean to make money, at
least not primarily, but to make friends, to win people over
THE BETTER LIFE

to you, so to speak. In that sense, do you think there are


winning people? When you read the biographies or auto-
biographies of people who have built large networks, such
as for example Jack Welsh, the former CEO of General
Electrics, you see that there is well something like radi-
ance. While Jack Welsh is not an easy character but a man
with firm principles in place, he does attract many friends
and associates. Why is that so? Is it charisma?

I would say such a talent cannot be easily put in a sin-


gle word. It is something like a composite of different traits
of character. You may want to analyse this further. For this
present book it suffices to show you the general attitude
and to help you activate your subconscious mind for de-
veloping an attitude that attracts others to you.
Right now you may not be very successful in attracting
friends, you may even be somebody who repels others and
who has a tendency to withdraw from others and stay in
your little corner. Many of us experience some or the other
form of anxiety in the group setting, or in simply commu-
nicating with others, or being around others. These fears
most often are hidden to us as they have their origin in
early childhood experiences that we dont remember. But
even though these fears are not consciously remembered
they are well registered in our unconscious. They are the
reason for the widespread habit to drink alcohol when be-
ing at a party, when spending time with others, or ex-
changing with others outside of the strict business setting.

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MAKING FRIENDS

Many of our leisure activities are habitually tainted by


the intake of alcohol.
While this is not per se negative, there are limits set by
respect, tact and attitude. There is quite definitely a finite
point of no-return for everyone when the intake of alcohol
brings about negative behaviors.
It may be after one bottle of wine or two bottles of
wine, for one, or just two beers for another. It is individu-
ally very different, but the pattern is the same. Why is that
so? The reason is quite obvi-
ous. The more you sink into When I say winning
the alcoholic trance, the more I do not mean to
of your subconscious behav- make money, at least
ior patterns, those we all try not primarily, but to
to hide, will surface. To give make friends, to win
an example. It once occurred
people over to you,
to me at a party that I experi-
so to speak.
enced a deep sympathy for
the photographer.
She was an attractive young woman full of life and
humor. I began to drink with her and we had lots of sub-
jects to talk about, but I observed that she did not want us
to sit down and develop a more intimate conversation. In-
stead, she insisted that we continued standing around with
other people and chat in that setting.
I respected that but there was a moment when in a jok-
ing manner I was slightly touching her cheek with my in-

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THE BETTER LIFE

dex finger. It was really an unobtrusive kind of touch that


nobody around even realized. But she to burst out aloud:
Stop touching me. You are really not a gentleman!

I was apologizing and felt bad about myself. I knew


that without the three glasses of white wine I would not
have done this gesture. What was even more embarrassing
as a result was that for all the parties with that organiza-
tion, she was invited as a photographer, so I would see her
time and again if I went to the next meeting. Needless to
add that I avoided going there again, and thus lost a good
opportunity to bond with others.
Now, to make a long story short, how did I cope with
this problem? I gave myself a prayer. Here it is:

The infinite intelligence within me now heals any an-


tagonism I may have stirred in myself and in others
when communicating in the drunk state. I forgive myself
to have been disrespectful toward others in this mental
condition. I know that my natural state of mind is sobri-
ety and a respectful attitude. From my innermost being,
I wish to have peaceful, harmonious and constructive
relationships. I now send all the people I know a message
of peace and harmony, requesting forgiveness. My sub-
conscious mind is now free and healed from any condi-
tion that may have caused this behavior. I know that my
inner mind guides me in clarity of mind, inner harmony
and sobriety. My relationships now improve every day
and I give thanks for the joy of the answered prayer.

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MAKING FRIENDS

Right after writing down the prayer, I went into a re-


laxed state and repeated it so often that I got to know it by
heart. Then I had a little nap and felt very peaceful inside.

Suddenly, all the nagging antagonism with three dif-


ferent people was gone and there was a positive sensation
when I was thinking about them. I did not feel any desire
for eating or drinking.
I felt happy in this sober state of mind, and peaceful
inside. This was exceptional. It showed me that the prayer
had its effect, and that is why I mention it here, for I al-
ways get the question What is it that tells me that the
prayer was received by my subconscious mind?
It is exactly this inner peace and a certain cut with the
past that you feel through a certain distance toward the
memories that even just shortly before the prayer were still
active in your conscious mind. Suddenly you will feel di-
rectly or some time after reciting the prayer that you have
taken a mental and emotional distance, a beneficial retreat
from the memories that were in the way of making peace.
This is actually an astonishing process.
Once you have gone through that once, you will never
abandon positive prayer, for you will not want to miss out
on the many benefits that it brings. Your subconscious
mind is the source of infinite riches!
To summarize, let us ask what are winning relation-
ships? I shortly mentioned the definition that Jack Welsh

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THE BETTER LIFE

gave to the expression Winning, title of one of his books.


Now let us have a closer look.
I think almost everybody agrees that winning means
succeeding. But I think the expression has a twofold sense
when it is used as an adjective, like Winning Business Re-
lations. You cant simply replace it by Succeeding Busi-
ness Relations for that sounds academic or old-fashioned,
doesnt it? The term winning means:

That the relationship is one that succeeds;


That in the relationship both are winning.
So there is an interesting double sense. It says that both
business people who relate to each other, are winning, that
there is a mutually profitable bond between them. It fur-
ther says that their collaboration brings about synergy and
that there is an outcome that is more than the sum of the
parts. If you wish to have winning business relations, tell
your subconscious mind in form of a prayer that you value
people who are in business and that you would like to at-
tract to you as many as you can. Note that there are no lim-
its known to your subconscious mind, except you com-
mand it so.
Of course, there are specialized publications that teach
how to make friends and win people over to you. One of
the first on the market, and one of the best for that matter,
is Dale Carnegies How to Win Friends and Influence People
(1936/1998). However, I must confess that for me person-
ally, the prayer method worked better than any book ad-
vice.
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MAKING FRIENDS

Q & A Session
Q. How does the name of Jack Welsh resonate with
you, and of what does it remind you?
A. Please give yourself the answer.

Q. How would you define a winning attitude? Do you


think there is a reason why some people have dozens of
friends, and some have only a few?
A. We are living in a universe of resonance. We are send-
ing out vibrations, and we are receiving vibrations from
others. This is an ongoing process. We do not need to talk
for doing so, as our thought and emotions are also vibra-
tional in nature, and even our attitude, and our intentions.
Thus we can actually not interfere in this process of send-
ing out vibrations, for even if we are unaware of doing so,
we do it as a matter of the fact that we are vibrational organ-
isms living in a vibrational universe.
Now, a winning attitude is the one a person has who
sends out positive vibrations to others, which are vibra-
tions of acceptance and self-acceptance, of adequacy, of
refrain from judgment and of intentional synergy. This is
could be called the mindset of a leader, but even if a person
is not an acknowledged leader and lives a rather solitary
life, that person can well have a winning attitude.

Q. How can alcohol, even in the party setting, impact


negatively on relationships, especially new relationships?

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THE BETTER LIFE

Alcohol reduces sensitivity and lowers our moral re-


straint; it may have a negative effect on you in the sense
that you may slip into the wrong tone, a too casual conver-
sation where you should have a more formal approach, or
into non-desired confidentiality. It also may lead you to
judge emotionally in the sense to focus only a certain peo-
ple at the party and neglect presenting yourself to others.
Last not least, an alcohol-induced attitude has a more se-
verely negative effect on new relationships because trust is
still fragile in those, while with friends, when you are on a
common foot, you may more easily slip into the informal
mode without negatively affecting the relationship.

Q. What does a closer look at Winningtitle of one of


Jack Welshs bestselling booksreveal?
A. It reveals that the acceptance of a person doesnt re-
quire him (or her) to please people; much to the contrary is
it quite astonishing that a man who is famed for being a
tough boss and who can act out ruthlessly if the company
requires it, is respected so much and even highly popular.
It means that what people really want, around the world,
is a straight and trustworthy attitude, and consistency first
of all. It is an approach in which you come over as solid
and unshaken, and even stoic to a certain extent, and that
you are competent in your field of expertise.

200
Chapter Eight
Habit of Happiness

Epicurus defined happiness as the absence of pain,


both physical and mental, and this raises some fas-
cinating questions for the philosophically minded of
every era. One could argue that the absence of pain
brings a person up to only zero on the happiness
scale; to push the meter into the positive zone, more
is required, say a plate of roast lamb with all the
trimmings. But Epicurus would shoot back that the
pleasure of eating lamb has all kinds of future pains
attached to it, like a bloated stomach, or, worse in
the long run, a hankering for more lamb and
lamblike delicacies, putting a person back in the po-
sition of the perpetually frustrated individual for
whom enough is always too little.

EPICURUS, THE ART OF HAPPINESS, FOREWORD BY


DANIEL KLEIN

In his book The Power of Your Subconscious Mind (1963/


2001), 188, Joseph Murphy reports the following anecdote:
THE BETTER LIFE

A number of years ago, I stayed for about a


week in a farmers house in Connemara on the
west coast of Ireland. My host seemed always
to be singing and whistling and was full of
good humor. I asked him the secret of his hap-
piness. Sure, its a habit with me, he replied.
Every morning when I awaken and every night
before I go to sleep, I bless my family, the crops,
the cattle, and I thank God for the wonderful
harvest. This farmer had made a practice of
this for over forty years. As you know, thoughts
repeated regularly and systematically sink into
the subconscious mind and become habitual.
He discovered that happiness is a habit. (Emphasis
mine).

Have you ever thought what happiness really is? Is it


satisfaction of desire? Is it the feeling to have plenty? Does
happiness derive from being rich and wealthy?

I believe it is not difficult to answer these questions.


Fact is that there are many rich and wealthy people who
are unhappy. One reason why I included this chapter is to
find out why, and then, to give rich and wealthy people a
reason for being happy. And more than a reason.

If many rich people are not happy, what about poor


people? Are they happier? Thats a comfortable myth. It was
for me, for almost twenty years. It was only after I studied
the lifestyle of tribal peoples that I became gradually aware
that their happiness is not derived from having or not

202
HABIT OF HAPPINESS

having but from being. Erich Fromm explicates this bril-


liantly in his book To Have or To Be.
The state of not having is not equal to the state of be-
ing. When I feel deprived of anything, be it love, be it a
decent job, I feel like life is nagging me. I feel betrayed in a
way. It is certainly not a happy state of being.
Now let us ask then, what is a happy state of being? Let
us look at small innocent children. Are we not perceiving
their happiness in their presence, is it not infectious? When
we look at them, their ability to play with whatever they
have in hand, even if in their real environment chaos and
disaster reign, even if they are in the midst of war and civil
war, they are basically happy. Why are they happy?

They are carefree, not burdened with the strange ways


of the world: they simply accept the world. Many of us
wish to change the world, this bad world, this world of
injustice and violence, this world of oppression and perse-
cution, of intolerance. We wish to make it a better place.

And its exactly this striving for bettering creation


that robs us of our innate
happiness. Why is that so? If many rich people
To answer this question, look are not happy, what
at what we do when we have about poor people?
come to that point of activ- Are they happier?
ism. What we do is to focus Thats a comfortable
on the bad things out there,
myth.
ignoring by and large the
good things, the positive

203
THE BETTER LIFE

stuff. We all know that the world is both bad and good,
depending on our look at it. But thoseand I was among
them for decadeswho wish to make the world a better
place, those idle heroes, are looking at the world in a one-
sided manner. They look at what is not perfect, overlook-
ing what is well perfectnamely nature!
Even though man has erred quite substantially over the
ages, there is a consciousness in the human being that is
evolving. This consciousness is based upon perception, but
perception is not only sensual but also extrasensual and
metasensual.
When we perceive life and the world in a complete fash-
ion, not just with our five senses, we see that our quest for
happiness is truly spiritual, and that for that very reason
the focus upon material things, situations, and circum-
stances, is quite short-sighted. To judge that life on earth is
such and such then reveals to be a perception error, for
such a statement is way too general and restricted in per-
spective.
Children do not know that, they cannot reason this out,
and yet, they are basically happy. Their perception of the
world is not yet fragmented as the perception of most con-
ditioned adults. Happiness really is related to this unlim-
ited and unfragmented perception of what-is; its derived
from the holistic and non-dualistic perception of what-is.
William B. Irvine writes in his book A Guide to the Good
Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy (2009), at p. 74:

204
HABIT OF HAPPINESS

One reason children are capable of joy is be-


cause they take almost nothing for granted. To
them, the world is wonderfully new and sur-
prising. Not only that, but they arent yet sure
how the world works: Perhaps the things they
have today will mysteriously vanish tomorrow.
It is hard for them to take something for
granted when they cant even count on its con-
tinued existence.

Now, of course, we may ask further why this is so. The


answer is difficult to give.

What we can learn from the question is that somehow


human beings are programmed to be non-judgmental and
open-minded. As long as they havent build a defense
shield in their character, it seems that humans are basically
happy.

Unhappiness sets in when content is censored by the


conscious self, when large parts of what we perceive is dis-
carded out as negative content and thereby suppressed
from conscious awareness.
It seems to me that this kind of distortion of perception
is at the root of unhappiness in the human. And man really
has come up with all and everything to distort perception,
through its religions, ideologies and doctrines that judge
and deny instead of accepting and embracing.
Happy children do not know about religions, ideolo-
gies and the hundred doctrines that deny life instead of
accepting it. They ignore all of this burden, luckily so.
205
THE BETTER LIFE

Some scholars call this burden culture, thereby setting


culture against nature.
While an emotionally intelligent culture of course is
embedded in nature and not against nature. So in a way,
when we live in a cultural paradigm, such as patriarchy,
that is by and large founded upon a distorted perception of
nature, we are at pains to be happy.
This is a conundrum as culture is supposed to bring us
relief and development; its supposed to bring us closer to
civilized behavior, consciously banning chaotic and psy-
chopathological behavior. But when the cultural paradigm
is hostile to our imbeddedness in nature, for after all we are
nature, then that culture cant possibly bring us relief. It
will bring us conflict then, it will bring us distorted percep-
tion of natural phenomena, it will bring us collective men-
tal illness instead of sanity of mind.
Hence, children are happy for a reasonhowever not
Reason written with a capital R, the hyper-rational idea
that situates the human above natures innate intelligence,
which is the intelligence of our emotions.
Children are happy because they do not allow a cul-
tural paradigm to mutilate their emotional integrity; but
this changes when children grow beyond the age of rea-
son (Piaget), that is, the age of seven. Adolescents are very
often unhappy people, for they are bound to suffer the
cultural burden, having lost their childlike innocence and
being exposed to all the cultural madness of modern man.

206
HABIT OF HAPPINESS

As this chapter is not addressed to adolescents but to


adults, and actually to those of you who are rich and
wealthy, famous and celebrated, and yet unhappy, let me
state here that there is no conflict between begin wealthy
and being happy. While fundamentalist religions all de-
clare being wealthy to be a major sin, its surely not those
religions who hold the truth in their hands, but nature.
And nature is wealthy,
nature is abundant, nature
Unhappiness sets in
is even wasteful.
when content is cen-
Thats why, when you sored by the con-
are wealthy, you are actu-
scious self, when
ally in alignment with the
large parts of what
cosmic order, not against it,
we perceive is dis-
as those religions tend to
carded out as nega-
tell you.
tive content and
However, when your
thereby suppressed
religion is money and ac-
from conscious
cumulating money, without
awareness.
more, you are actually bar-
ring yourself from receiv-
ing more. Part of your unhappiness might be the impend-
ing insight that you have enough for being happy, on one
hand, but not enough for being happy, on the other. As this
sounds highly paradoxical, let me explain what I mean.
When I say that you have enough for being happy, I want
to convey that you have enough for basic needs to be met,
that you do not suffer from major restrictions, as most

207
THE BETTER LIFE

people do in this world. You have your basic needs met,


your family does, your children do.
But on the other hand, you do not have enough for be-
ing happy means that you do foster an illusion which says
that if only you had more of the samemore money, more
riches, a bigger bank account, more inflow of resources,
you would be more happy.
Lets acknowledge that you would be more content,
that you would certainly feel safer in your overall world-
view, you would surely be more comfortable in your skin.
But does that mean you would also be more happy? It
could well mean that you will be less happy than ever be-
fore. Why is that so?

Well, it could well mean that you realize that true hap-
piness is after all not the result of safety, but of being care-
free, that its not so much a matter of satisfaction but of
dissatisfaction, that its not the fact you can buy into such
and such leisures that attributes to your happiness, but
rather the fact that you are free of those leisures altogether.
Have you been to refugee camps, or watched any films
about them? If you ever did, you may have observed how
happily in those camps children jump and dance around
the place, despite the utterly destitute condition of their
parents.
Children dont care about their parents being destitute,
but they do care for being loved! And perhaps, as a matter
of fact, people in camps, because they have nothing to do

208
HABIT OF HAPPINESS

to earn a living, have more time for their children, and


express their love for them more freely, which could be the
explanation why you see those scenes over and over on
television, while this very fact may puzzle you. You may
indeed ask why you are not as happy as them, and you
may search for answers.
The questions produce the answers. Have you ever in-
quired why there are questions and answers?

I did so, as early as in high school, and came up with


an uncanny concept. I said in my foolish youth that an-
swers are the direct result of questions and that, for that
matter, what really counts are the questions, not the an-
swers.

I was not that foolish after all as it turned out that later
other people had the same view, people of fame and re-
nown, like quantum physicists. They kept saying that the
result of an experiment is pretty much the outcome of the
setup of the experiment.

In other words, the observer in that experiment has to


be accounted for, and cannot be wiped under the carpet of
scientific objectiveness. It has a very precise impact upon
the observation in that it manipulates its outcome accord-
ing to the general mindset of the observer, not just his sci-
entific opinions, but his overall life paradigm.
So nature actually turned out to behave differently when
being observed by different people. This was of course one of
the many paradoxes of quantum physics to be revealed to
us in the last fifty or more years.
209
THE BETTER LIFE

We invariably feel puzzled when we first hear about it.


We are shaken in our common assumptions, in our phleg-
matic sides taken for this or the other option in life. We are
pro-morality but need to heed the advice of nature that life
is inherently anti-morality or rather, it bears its own moral-
ity which is different from ours in that it is not coercive, in
that it is not based upon judgmental views, in that it is ac-
cepting all life, and all desire. Hence, it is inclusive, not ex-
clusive.
To conclude, one matter does infringe upon your hap-
piness: it is judgmental thinking and resulting actions tar-
geting at discarding out people or situations from your life.
The secret to happiness is permissiveness, a mindset that
refrains from judging others and life, a mindset that em-
braces all possible situations, a mindset that accepts life
rather than judging it.
Now let us ask how to build such a mindset? Is it a he-
roic task to change ones mindset? It is. It is not easy, really.
It is not something most people would want to do. It is not
something encouraged by the mass media either, quite to
the contrary.
It is something only a few select people can do because
it requires a stoic attitude and a lot of persistence. But you
can do it for improving your life, and for being more
happy. You can become non-judgmental in your overall view
of the world and of people. The Bible is rather explicit
about it.

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HABIT OF HAPPINESS

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what


judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with
what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to
you again.

Judging is an attitude that is defensive and that cuts


relationships short. For relationships to develop, smooth-
ness and lightness of touch are needed. Relations cant be
forced, nor do they develop when there is no mutual inter-
est. What is needed is simply involvement. When you are
involved with others, relations develop as a matter of time
and as a result of mutual interest and motivation.

The motivation for bonding often but not exclusively is


a consequence of shared interests, or at least one common
interest.
But commonality is not all there is to build good rela-
tionships. People are reported to be friends for years and
decades who have no interests in common and are rather
different characters. So why are they friends?
Because there is motivation on either side for a friend-
ship, for reasons that may be not consciously reflected
upon, such as shared karmic roots and experiences.

But this is not all. As I already pointed out at the be-


ginning of this chapter, by quoting Dr. Joseph Murphy, an
authority on the matter of handling our subconscious
mind, we must see to making happiness a habit. How to do
that? Logically so, for making something a habit, you first
of all need to choose it. You must choose happiness over

211
THE BETTER LIFE

unhappiness, which means you must sincerely desire to be


happy. As Dr. Joseph Murphy writes on page 194 of his
book:

Nothing is accomplished without desire. Desire


is a wish with wings of imagination and faith.
Imagine the fulfillment of your desire, feel its
reality, and it will come to pass. Happiness
comes in answered prayer.

But how is it that some people are happy and others


not, independently of their fortunes and their status in life?
As we have already seen, happiness requires you to be
tolerant toward yourself, to suspend judgment about oth-
ers as much as you can and to build peace of mind. We can
say that happiness is a fruit of peace of mind; when your
mind is focused upon peace, poise, security and constant
inner guidance, you will experience happiness, for its an
inner state, independent of all of your conditions and cir-
cumstances. As we have seen, external reality is not causa-
tive, as the cause is in our way of thinking.

Q & A Session
Q. Have you ever thought what happiness really is?
Why do you think many rich and wealthy people are un-
happy?
A. You may be aware already that you cannot buy
happiness and you may have observed that there are some
millionaires who are happy, and others not. You may have

212
HABIT OF HAPPINESS

observed the same among the poor. You may also have
seen that some married people are happy and others are
not, and that among singles its the same. These observa-
tions may logically have brought you to the conclusion
that outside circumstances are not making people happy
or unhappy, but that happiness is an inner quality.

Q. Are poor people happier than rich people?

A. For many of us who are close to communist or so-


cialist parties, as it was for me in my youth, it is a comfort-
able myth to believe that poor people are happier than the
rich. But its really an illusion, and its not what Karl Marx
said in his books. To say the least, its an oversimplification
of what he wrote in his critique of capitalism. Its not any
political system that makes people happy or unhappy, but
the state of their inner minds, what they think and hold as
true on a daily basis.

Q. What did Erich Fromm mean with the dichotomy of


To Have or To Be?
A. He basically emphasized that when a person is
authentic, thus in a state of To Be that person is also
happy, but its the striving of our inner self to be true and
authentic. However, when a person is solely focused upon
material things, and thus in a state of To Have the person
will be at pains to achieve happiness for he or she will be
constantly sidetracked by their material wishes and the
satisfaction of those wishes, but all of material things are
temporary. And something that is temporary cannot rea-

213
THE BETTER LIFE

sonably bring something about that you want is long-


lasting. You want to be happy over longer periods of time,
not just at your birthday party, but for this true happiness
to build, you need to be authentic and you need to be con-
nected to your soul values, what you are truly interested in
and what brings you deep satisfaction when you do it.
This is how you will achieve happiness in your profession,
it is by doing what you really love.

Q. Why are children happy, especially small children


who havent yet been conditioned by school?
A. The happiness of children can be called carefreeness.
Its something spontaneous. Children do not consciously
choose happiness because they are not mature enough to re-
flect about what happiness possibly is. They are happy
when they play and they are properly cared for, and aston-
ishingly, many children are even happy when not being
properly cared for. Their happiness is so strong that it tol-
erates imperfection in their lives, including the imperfec-
tion of their parents. This is because childrens happiness is
a result of their carefreeness, not upon conscious choice.
However, as adults, when our awareness is reflective about
our choices in life, we cant be carefree to that point any-
more. That is why we need to deliberately choose happi-
ness by sincerely wishing to be happy, so that we can be
happy.

Q. What is the one single attitude and behavior that


robs us of our innate happiness?

214
HABIT OF HAPPINESS

A. It is to judge ourselves, others, and the world at


large, to judge life, to say that life is not good enough, that
creation is faulty and needs to be improved, that life is de-
pendent on political systems and other exterior circum-
stances, and that, as a result of those circumstances, one
cannot possibly be happy without this or that (high posi-
tion, money, influence, good connections, free time, alloca-
tions, government support, funding, etc.).

Q.. Do you wish to make the world a better place?


What is the essential fallacy of such an intention?
A. It directs our focus upon the outside world, circum-
stances, conditions, and so forth, and robs us from focus-
ing upon the content of our thoughts, and the way we fuel
and energize them with your recurrent emotions. When
you want to change the world, you behave like Don Qui-
jote, and you are fighting against windmills. The world
changes by itself, and it is today war and tomorrow peace.
Everything changes, not only the weather, people change,
cultures change, relationships change; there is one single
characteristics of life: it is change. When you get to accept
the world, you get to accept yourself, and you do that by
accepting change.

Q. Have religions, ideologies and doctrines that judge


life contributed to humanitys happiness, or rather to our
collective predicament?

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THE BETTER LIFE

A. I think the answer is obvious. They have made it


only worse and they continue this negative influence upon
our peoples, societies and life at large to this very day.

Q. How can greed interfere with happiness?


A. Greed is an excessive form of acquisitiveness. To
paraphrase Erich Fromm, greed puts the to have response
prior to the to be response, thus distorting the natural
way to react. It is also a response that comes straight from
the ego, without the participation of our higher self and as
such an imbalanced attitude. Every imbalance, not only
greed, but all strong emotions that are not balanced by a
poised attitude will interfere with your desire to be happy.
Without having observed that as yet, you may want to be
watchful to find out how a particular focus on anything
may interfere with a worldview that is basically balanced
and that thus represents what Buddha called the middle
way. All extremes bring harm to your mind and soul, and
thats why they interfere with happiness for they pull you
out of your center.

Q. Why, paradoxically, parents and children may be


more happy in their relationship when they are removed
from daily strain and live sheltered in refugee camps,
where their material wellbeing is cared for?
A. It is less to do with the children, per se, but a lot
with the parents. Many parents in normal circumstances of
daily life put too much focus upon acquisitiveness, finan-
cial matters, health issues and what more, instead of put-

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HABIT OF HAPPINESS

ting the relationship with their children first. In a situation


where parents are by circumstance removed from being
responsible for material welfare, they will have their minds
free to see and feel the importance of their daily bonding
with their children, and they will realize how much that
contributes to their happiness.

Q. In which sense are questions more important than


answers?
A. Answers create the illusion of being definitive, while
in reality they are not. But usually only very highly edu-
cated people realize that. Most people are stuck when be-
ing focused on answers, while if they focused on the ques-
tions instead, they would realize that questions do not
block inquiry as answers do but keep you curious; and cu-
riosity is the most important for personal evolution for it
leaves the door to the unknown open. In this sense ques-
tions are much more important than answers for they keep
us on our hunger while answers too easily (and danger-
ously) keep us satisfied.

Q. How has judgmental thinking interfered with our


collective happiness?

A. Judgmental thinking has led to war and civil war


everywhere in the world, it has fueled the crusades, it
brings one religion up against another, one race against
another, and one nation against another. All religions to
this very day have fostered judgmental thinking and that
is why they are so destructive and why they foster separa-

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THE BETTER LIFE

tion and mistrust instead of unity and trust. But this is not
only so on the outward level of life, it is also, and even
primarily so in our relationship with ourselves. Judgmen-
tal people live in a constant inner war and that state of
mind tears them up inside and creates inner tension, stress
and emotional turmoil.
People who are in this state of inner war are unable to
make peace with others, with the world, and with them-
selves, for they believe that this inner war was an existen-
tial condition, something they regard in their ignorance as
the natural state of the human being. It is not the natural
state, but the result of moralism, and moralistic education
that brings people into an inner conflict with some of their
emotions that they are told to repress and keep in check.
It is the plague of moralism that has created judgmental-
ism as a matter of logic, and it has created the idea of being
superior over certain other races or groups of people, it
has created the idea of self-righteousness, and the domina-
tion of nature, until recently it even has dominated our sci-
ence and declared us being machines and wheels in a
clockwork.

Q. Which value has permissiveness for promoting per-


sonal and collective happiness?
A. Permissiveness is a form of tolerance toward one-
self; it is based upon the insight that it is destructive to
judge ourselves, to judge any process that goes on in our
mind, in our thoughts, or any emotions. It is a state of ac-
ceptance, for its only acceptance that can bring inner
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HABIT OF HAPPINESS

peace. Permissiveness thus can be said to be a motor for


inner peace.

Q. How do we bring about happiness? How can you


yourself bring it about in your life?
A. You need to first sincerely desire it, then you need to
build a habit, which in a slogan you may call Habit of
Happiness. What is a habit?

It is a constant behavior, something ingrained, where a


certain automatism is built that has been carved or
grooved in your subconscious mind. If happiness is any-
thing less than a habit, the circumstances of your daily life
can too easily distract you from your desire to be happy,
and you are again on the worry track, the complain track,
the negative track. When happiness is habit its like you a
driving a car and suddenly a child runs after a football
right in front of your car. You hit the brakes without think-
ing, as a matter of sheer automatism, because driving has
become a habit.
And the child was saved, and you yourself from trou-
ble. That is how important habits are, positive habits.
Thats why you better make out of happiness a habit!

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Chapter Nine
Success Strategies

Throw away your books; no longer distract yourself:


it is not allowed

MARCUS AURELIUS

My passion is to help people discover their unique po-


tential, develop their gifts and talents, build their identity,
and realize their mission.

After having tested the techniques over years that I am


offering here, and having seen some of them working for
children and young students as well, I would like to sum-
marize them here. You may use them for yourself, your
children, or if you are a teacher, for students in your care.

These strategies are grouped into four categories:

Health
THE BETTER LIFE

Creativity

Smart Learning

Achievement

Health

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY


Zen has it all with its saying When you are hungry, eat,
when you are tired, sleep! Health is natural, disease is not.
Health is the original condition, not illness.

You can prevent falling ill by listening to your body!


You can prevent your body from becoming sick by lis-
tening to the messages you receive from your body, for it
constantly communicates with your mind.
When you do that, your body will alert you through
inner feelings, dreams, or coincidences what is good for
you, and what is not.
Do not eat what you dont like and dont eat more than
you like. When your body reacts with an allergy to certain
food, simply stop eating that food for a while. The allergy
is a signal that you should avoid it.
When you get the allergy again by eating that food
once more, avoid the food for a longer period of time. You
may be surprised that when you change the climate, for
example on vacation, you may eat the food without getting
the allergy. This is not surprising for climate and food hang

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SUCCESS STRATEGIES

together in that our body reacts to food in a different way


in different climatic zones.
If you move to South-East Asia, with its constant hu-
mid and hot climate over the year, you need to adapt your
diet or you risk to get overweight and sick, or you may
develop high body heat in the form of hypertension.
In the hot climate, we need less food and lighter food
than in cold countries, and we also react differently toward
alcohol. While you may have a good time with your beer
and wine consumption in Europe or America, when you
move to South-East Asia and you dont restrict it, you will
suffer from high body heat, or as the locals call it, high
blood.

Try to drink green tea and eat clear chicken or vegeta-


ble soup for a few days, and rice, and you will see how
much your body is going to cool down!
All illness is psychosomatic in the sense that it starts in
the psyche and then gets into the soma. Psyche is a Greek
word for soul and soma stands for body.
So psychosomatic healing, a word you find in the me-
dia nowadays rather often, is mindbody disease. It says
something that is self-evident: as mind and body are con-
nected, one influences the other.

WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS


As a result of what I just pointed out, you should be
carefully watching your thoughts, your self-talk. When the
way you think or how you talk to yourself is negative and

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THE BETTER LIFE

destructive, you negatively influence your body. Its as if


you would bombard your body with the wrong frequency.
It will bring your body into an energy imbalance in the
long run, because of the disturbing vibration. Think good
about yourself and others, think about others with care
and restraint and watch your hot emotions. You do not
need to indulge in negative self-talk when you feel anger
in a certain situation. Keep your thoughts pure!

LISTEN TO GOOD MUSIC


We are all celli, violins and pianos. We are cigars, hand-
made, not cigarettes; we are nature, not clocks and ma-
chines. The human is a complex patterned unit of relation-
ships, a vibrational organism, composed of resonance pat-
terns. As we vibrate, so vibrations outside of us affect us,
both our body and our mind. Hence the need to listen to
good music. Our cells vibrate at a certain frequency, so do
our thoughts and emotions. As I pointed out already, there
is an connection between our body and the climate where
we live most of the time. This relationship is one of vibra-
tion. Different climatic zones vibrate in a different way and
our body responds to that vibration, either harmoniously
or disharmoniously. When the vibrancy is harmonious we
stay healthy, when its disharmonious, we become sick in
one or the other way.

Music helps to heal the body, but be aware of the music


you choose. Classical music has been found very harmoni-
ous for the mindbody, so is good Jazz, and World Music,

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SUCCESS STRATEGIES

which is traditional music from around the world. Modern


disco is not, most of dance music is not, nor is any other
fast beat music with bass boosting in sync with the bodys
vibration; in the contrary such kind of modern music can
really damage the vibrational code of your mindbody and
drive you into restlessness, insomnia, emotional outbursts
and illness.

LEARN HEALTHY BREATHING


The two essential powers of life are breathing and eat-
ing. The Taoist sages said that it is of high importance for
health to breathe and eat correctly. The power of breathing
has been known by the old Taoist masters as Chee Gung
(also spelled as Qi Gong). It is not a secret that many of us
have lost our natural ability to breathe.

How can one unlearn something so deeply fundamen-


tal to human life? Since ancient times breath or the idea of
cosmic breath was seen directly related to life and vi-
brancy. In ancient Greece, the life force was called pneuma,
in India it is called prana, and in China chi.

Ancient and present masters affirm the possibility to


heal every kind of disease, even cancer, heart disease or
immune deficiency syndrome simply by repeated breath-
ing exercises.
Qi Gong is a very old science and technique.

It has been founded by Taoist masters many centuries


ago. In accordance with the Chinese health system, Qi
Gong explains how to positively influence the life energy

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THE BETTER LIFE

or essence, called chi by the Chinese, ki by the Japanese,


prana in India and mana or wakonda with most native cul-
tures. Qi Gong means energy work is the second word,
gong, gung or kung means work or control.
Qi Gong can be said to be midway between meditation
and the martial arts. It combines essential stillness with
slow movements and conscious breathing.

INTEGRATE YOUR EMOTIONS


Our emotional life needs to be respected. Our emotions
are vital streamings in our luminous energy field.
They have their own intelligence and are connected to
each other in a kaleidoscopic manner. Take a prism as the
metaphor. Every emotion is a frequency and thus repre-
sents a certain color in the light beam. All together they
form white light.
If you repress one emotion, your inner lights becomes
distorted and your vital energy gets out of balance.

See Peter Fritz Walter, Integrate Your Emotions (2014)

Unfortunately educational systems around the world


are still very much in the past and have not yet caught up
with new systemic insights about the regulatory function
of emotions. Instead of looking at life in a functional man-
ner, most educational systems use the moralistic perspective
with its fixated positions, judge some emotions as good,
and some as bad. This has had catastrophic consequences

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SUCCESS STRATEGIES

upon world peace for it has contributed to rendering man


a violent beast!
Behold, we humans are not violent by nature, we are
conditioned to being violent by compulsory morality and
its blindfolding all our important vital life functions, from
anger to sexuality. This is the reason why in our collective
unconscious much of life is a terrible mess, sexuality being
messed up with fear and violence, parenthood messed up
with dominance and emotional clinging, relating to others
messed up with gaining power for oneself, and religion
messed up with dogma and compulsive behavior.
And needless to add that our morality is itself messed
up with violence! Natural morality is smooth, its intuitive,
its harmonious and doesnt need to be trained upon the
child. But we have long forgotten about this natural moral-
ity that many native cultures around the world still prac-
tice, among them the North American Natives.
Be permissive with yourself!

Be yourself your best friend! Dont judge yourself nor


others, but practice acceptance! Do not judge your emo-
tions but accept them. They are important and intelligent,
and have a role to play in our lives, otherwise we would be
robots. Think about it!

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THE BETTER LIFE

Creativity

DEVELOP SELF-EXPRESSION
Self-Expression is essential for bringing out the best in
you; it is an urge, nothing less than that. Express yourself
through writing. If you never did, start with writing down
your dreams. If you do not remember your dreams, put a
booklet and a pen next to your bed. This gives a signal to
your subconscious mind that you wish to remember your
dreams. Then, before you fall asleep, tell yourself three
times that you shall remember all your dreams!

Keep a journal. Write down important events that hap-


pened during the day. Jot down your projects, your ideas.
They often come up in places where you have no sta-
tionary, under the shower, on the toilet, or while you are
preparing food. These ideas are most of the time fleeting.

Tell yourself after receiving a hunch to keep it in your


mind until you access your stationary and sketch it down.
If you are short of time just put some keywords, and later
draw them out.
Express yourself through art, even if you have never
done artwork. Buy a drawing block and crayons and ex-
press your emotional states through colors and forms, with-
out trying to draw anything real. Express your imagina-
tion and your emotions, and do not judge your produc-
tions!

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SUCCESS STRATEGIES

KEEP A DREAM JOURNAL


Our dreams are the other half of our being. We sleep
one third of our life. Every 1 1/2 hour, we experience a
REM phase, during which we dream. It lasts half an hour,
and after every cycle the REM phase gets longer. In the
morning, you may have a dream of one entire hour or
more. It is essential that you know what the other half of
you thinks. Its not just feedback on all you think and do
during the day, and its not just digesting your past. Its
that also, but much more.
Essential wisdom can come through in your dreams.
Monitions may appear or visions, warning you to do cer-
tain things or go certain places. Dreams tell you when you
are about to get sick, or when you meet a person who is a
scoundrel.
Note your dreams. Start with creating a dream journal.
Its one of the most essential things to do for your success.

INTEGRATE YOUR YOUNGER SELF


Your younger self is your inner child of the past. It is
the energy of your childhood.

If this energy was sad and repressed, it is still sad and


repressed today. If this energy is in a catatonic state, you
have to awaken your inner child by a process of inner child
recovery and healing. By healing your inner child you heal
the original wounding that kept you attached to your past.

These early hurts cause imprints in our luminous en-


ergy field, the aura, or bioplasmatic energy, which leads to

229
THE BETTER LIFE

unconsciously repeating the early trauma through the sub-


sequent incarnation of events that are similar to the origi-
nal wounding.

This is a mechanism of our mind that is called repeti-


tion urge; it is a mechanism that unconsciously drives us
to repeat the experience and live it through in a different
manner.
As long as this mechanism is not conscious, the events
that such imprints attract seem to fall from heaven upon
you, as fate or bad luck; in truth, there is no bad luck or
good luck. Our destiny is driven from inside out, not from
outside in.
Integrating your past means to finally grow out of your
childhood and adolescence by taking care of your inner
child as a good enough parent, thereby overcoming your
early hangups and heal any possible hurt or abuse that
you younger self may have suffered.

Smart Learning
Harness the power of your subconscious mind! You
have learnt already about dreams that we have a subcon-
scious mind which has its own peculiar intelligence. It
regulates all our vital functions such as breathing rhythm,
sleep cycles, heart rate and so forth. It is essential for smart
and easy learning that subconscious and conscious mind
work in sync.

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SUCCESS STRATEGIES

While this is something our schools and universities


are not yet teaching, it is absolutely vital for achieving suc-
cess.

All highly successful people use hunches and moni-


tions for decision-making, and they are aware of their
dreams! You can develop your intuition by learning how to
use the wisdom of your subconscious mind in your daily
professional and private life.

The technique is easy to learn. You give yourself sug-


gestions which you first note down on paper, and then
read aloud several times to yourself. The sentences should
not contain negative statements and they should be to the
point. Instead of writing I shall not smoke anymore, write
Not smoking feels light and healthy, instead of writing I
shall not meet people again who are cheating me, write
Every day more, I enjoy honest and mutually satisfying
relationships.
Whatever you tell yourself, your subconscious mind
interface does listen to attentively, so beware of negative
self-talk and statements. Talk to yourself positively always,
think and talk about others positively, think and talk about
life or destiny positively.
Make programming yourself a habit, and you will be
driven by your own mind programming, not by programs
projected upon you by other people or society. This is next
to noting down your dreams one of the most important
habit to build: Program Yourself.

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THE BETTER LIFE

Achievement
Study the biographies of highly successful people from
all walks of life, great writers, artists and musicians, entre-
preneurs, business people, politicians, athletes, and what
more. It can only enrich you.
Napoleon Hills famous study has brought to daylight
that there is a certain pattern, or patterns of behavior all
these people have adopted and adopt. You may call them
principles, or duties, or behavior codes. I came to call them
enchanted duties. Why are they enchanted? They are the
result of devotion, a decision for change, a dedication, a
mission that was thought through to the end, and then put
to action. This study also showed that being wealthy, fa-
mous, popular, blessed and recognized for ones achieve-
ments is not chance, not good luck, nor is it simply hard
work or smart, nor is it family and upbringing, or support
in early life. It is none of this. It is really only the fact that a
certain person sets for himself or herself an act of faith, and
dedicates their life to a certain cause, a clearly described
mission, chief aim or main purpose of life.
Then, the person steers course along the lines of this
ultimate goal, without being too much perturbed by obsta-
cles and failures. The secret is that all these people experi-
ence failure but they do never judge a failure as ultimate
or definitive. When they experience a low, they wait for
the next high, and when they are on top, they dont waste
their resources but build a safety cushion for the next low
to come. In other words, these people think not in a linear

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SUCCESS STRATEGIES

fashion, as most people do, but in a cyclic manner, just as


life does. And its because they are thus aligned with their
own purpose, and obey to the basic laws of life, they are
driven toward success.

ATONEMENT / MEDITATION
I use the expression atonement beyond its religious
meaning, denoting every kind of care you take for your
mind and body. Your mind and your body are in a con-
stant movement of recycling. While you may be aware of
this regarding your body, few are aware that this is also
valid for the mind.
If you are addicted to body building, try mind building
for a while. If you are a hopeless university person, start
doing something for moving your body around. Mind and
body are connected and when you neglect one of them,
you damage the other as well.
Meditation is not a magic exercise, it has nothing in
common with chastisement or self-abnegation, and its not
even a religious practice, for you can profit of it even if you
are agnostic.
When I say atonement, I mean that its something that
strengthens you. As physical exercise strengthens your mus-
cles, atonement strengthens your mind, your lucidity, aware-
ness, power of observation, critical sense, and discrimina-
tion.

233
THE BETTER LIFE

It sharpens your mind by silencing your mind. The si-


lent mind is the powerful mind for its not distracted and
restless, but firmly focused.

It doesnt really matter what kind of meditation you


practice. Krishnamurti once said that even driving a car
through a beautiful landscape and being fully attentive to
all the details of your driving is a form of meditation. And
he was right.

You dont need to sit cross-legged for two hours a day,


nor do you need to do special breathing exercises. If you
do, okay, if you dont, also okay.
What brings the effect more than anything is to let your
thoughts pass through your mind as pictures pass in a
film, without judging, without holding on to them, with-
out rejecting them, without reacting emotionally to them.
You witness your inner life, and this witnessing itself
brings about change because consciousness is fluid, and it
cleans itself once you enter the self-reflective state, which is
a state of passive observation. Its effects do not come over-
night, you need to repeat the experience, preferably every
day, at a special time, and even 15 min. are sufficient. No
need to sacrifice any of your comforts. And you do that for
yourself, not for any god or savior or whatever. You do this
as a gift that you give to yourself!
And this gift, this precious investment of your precious
time, will pay you a dividend

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SUCCESS STRATEGIES

DEVELOP YOUR RIGHT BRAIN QUALITIES


Our school system only teaches deductive thinking,
left-brain thinking, rational thinking or however you want
to call it. But we have two brain hemispheres, not only one.
And the right brain hemisphere has very important prop-
erties or qualities that you need to activate before you can
experience success. Schools and even universities as they
are today do not train people to be successful. Our mecha-
nistic educational system is with one leg still in the dark
ages. So you cant rely on anything you learnt there for its
not conducive to your success. You need to inquire beyond
the little window into reality you got opened there, and see
the whole picture. Many people have done that before you,
and you can profit from their insights. You can also follow
up neuroscience research, consciousness research, the most
recent insights on psychic research, or you simply study
success literature. Your right brain fosters associative think-
ing which is not linear and goal-focused, but nonlinear and
process-focusedand it fosters imagination. While the left
brain contains the language center, and thus is responsible
for our learning verbal expression, the right brain has the
clues for our nonverbal expression, body language, telepa-
thy, hunches and monitions, and so on.
When you have a sixth sense that you should go into
a certain direction while logically there is no reason to do
so, this is an information you get from your right brain, as
it involves extrasensorial perception.

235
THE BETTER LIFE

Geniuses like Leonardo da Vinci, Nikola Tesla or Albert


Einstein had very developed right brain capacities, ena-
bling them to use their whole brain for thinking.

What I am telling you is not to neglect your logical


thinking, your deductive analysis of events or data, but to
use your right brain with the same strength, involving in-
ductive thinking, and the synthesis of data.
When you do both, the brain is in a higher gear than
when you follow our miserable reductionist cultural setup,
which really conditions people to be and remain mediocre.

ACCEPT YOURSELF AND EMBRACE OTHERS


When you accept yourself, you vibrate in unison with
all-that-is. Then the universe will support the realization of
your soul desires as long as they are not harming others.

Self-acceptance is crucial in life for success. If you reject


yourself, you reject life. Its really as simple as that.
Self-acceptance means you are focused on discovering
your uniqueness, and gradually develop the character traits,
gifts, talents and unique skills you possess and bring them
to fruition.
For this to happen, you need to refrain from imitating
or modeling others, from over-protecting your partner or
children, from adoring them or hating them, from ridicul-
ing others or admiring them, from fault-finding or blaming
others, from rejecting or shunning others, from being ex-
clusive in your life, or shutting others out from affection by
focusing on family only. In addition, you need to encour-

236
SUCCESS STRATEGIES

age naturalness and self-reliance and you need to give oth-


ers freedom, to accept their difference, and build synergy
with them and cooperate with them.

Self-acceptance also means to be at peace, with yourself


and then with others as an inevitable consequence of your
own inner peace and poised attitude.
You can embrace others only from the moment you ac-
cept yourself! You can love others only once, and as far as,
you love yourself. Embracing others is not different from
embracing life.
Its simply open-mindedness and self-assurance. If you
feel basically insecure you wont be able to really step into
the world and say Be Embraced Millions! as it was the
theme in Beethovens 9th Symphony. This involves an open
heart and the courage to be and remain vulnerable.

BUILDING TRUST
There is probably no greater and more expansive feel-
ing than trust. Trusting others at a high level is like living in
paradise. On the other hand, mistrusting others at a high
level equals living in hell.
Trusting others can be learnt by trusting them. It begins
with your bag on the restaurant table when you go to the
restroom, and it ends with allowing your child take public
transport for going to school instead of driving him there
every day and picking her up there every day.
It means to trust not only yourself, but also trust oth-
ers. Trusting the world means trusting more and more in-

237
THE BETTER LIFE

dividuals, including yourself. Behold, you cannot trust


half-heartedly! You trust or you trust not.
You can build trust with yourself by building trust in
your intuition, your promptings and monitions, your fore-
knowledge, your sixth sense, inner wisdom, and hunches.
And you begin to trust others by beginning to trust their
basic goodness, their soul-nature, their wisdom and their
good intentions and needs that are similar to yours.

You can build trust with the world by trusting life, its
deep metarational intelligence, its growth pattern, its sup-
portive nature, its resonance pattern and responsiveness,
and its invisible hands that help you realize your real nature
and your real self.

It is difficult to achieve success and fame without a


high level of trust. The more power you gain socially, you
more you need to delegate tasks to others, be they your
subordinates in a company or, if you work for no boss,
your colleagues at university, or collaborators in your pro-
jects, but you need to outsource tasks in order to be effec-
tive. When you do that you must trust those people, for if
you control others too tightly, they lose creativity and may
turn sour, or else develop an unhealthy form of depend-
ency upon you which later on may have nasty conse-
quences.
Behold, trust is not blind faith. The saying is correct
that you should try your friends before you trust them. But
trying people for trustbuilding is one thing, and being
pathologically mistrusting is another thing.

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SUCCESS STRATEGIES

It is natural to trust, not to mistrust. Observe a small


child and you know what trust is. Healthy babies love to
be thrown up in the air and caught up again by their care-
takers, to give just one example of many that the young
self naturally builds trust with others.
A mistrusting attitude as a character trait is the result
of early hurt and deception that was not healed and inte-
grated and that stiffened the person to a point to turn sour
toward others.
Remind yourself every day that trust is the natural con-
dition because humans are basically good!

Q & A Session
Q. Which are the four categories of success strategies in
this chapter?

A. Health, Creativity, Smart Learning, and Achieve-


ment.

Q. What is the natural condition, health or sickness?


What can you do to prevent illness?

A. Health is the natural condition. Sickness is an an


extreme and unusual condition, an imbalance of the natu-
ral equilibrium. To prevent illness, you need to follow the
voice of your body, who talks to you in various ways. If
you respect your body and you live your life with wisdom,
you will rarely be sick.

Q. How to deal naturally with allergies of any kind?

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THE BETTER LIFE

A. Do not eat what you dont like and dont eat more
than you like. When your body reacts with an allergy to
certain food, simply stop eating that food for a while. The
allergy is a signal that you should avoid it.

Q. In which sense can we say that all illness is psycho-


somatic?
A. All illness is psychosomatic in the sense that it starts
in the psyche and then gets into the soma. Psyche is a
Greek word for soul and soma stands for body. So psy-
chosomatic healing, a word you find in the media nowa-
days rather often, is mindbody disease. It says something
that is self-evident: as mind and body are connected, one
influences the other.

Q. How does your self-talk possibly impact upon your


health?
A. When the way you think or how you talk to yourself
is negative and destructive, you negatively influence your
body. Its as if you would bombard your body with the
wrong frequency.
It will bring your body into an energy imbalance in the
long run, because of the disturbing vibration. Think good
about yourself and others, think about others with care
and restraint and watch your hot emotions. You do not
need to indulge in negative self-talk when you feel anger
in a certain situation.

240
SUCCESS STRATEGIES

Q. Why can good music have a positive impact upon


your health?
A. The human is a complex patterned unit of relation-
ships, a vibrational organism, composed of resonance pat-
terns. As we vibrate, so vibrations outside of us affect us,
both our body and our mind. Hence the need to listen to
good music.

Q. Why is good breathing conducive for good health?


A. Since ancient times breath or the idea of cosmic
breath was seen directly related to life and vibrancy. In an-
cient Greece, the life force was called pneuma, in India it is
called prana, and in China chi. Ancient and present mas-
ters affirm the possibility to heal every kind of disease,
even cancer, heart disease or immune deficiency syndrome
simply by repeated breathing exercises.

Q. What means Qi Gong?

A. Qi Gong is a very old science and technique. It has


been founded by Taoist masters many centuries ago. In
accordance with the Chinese health system, Qi Gong ex-
plains how to positively influence the life energy or es-
sence, called chi by the Chinese, ki by the Japanese, prana
in India and mana or wakonda with most native cultures.
Qi Gong means energy work is the second word, gong,
gung or kung means work or control.
Qi Gong can be said to be midway between meditation
and the martial arts. It combines essential stillness with
slow movements and conscious breathing.

241
THE BETTER LIFE

Q. Why is it necessary for our physical and mental


health to integrate our emotions?
A. Our emotional life needs to be respected. Our emo-
tions are vital streamings in our luminous energy field.
They have their own intelligence and are connected to each
other in a kaleidoscopic manner. Take a prism as the meta-
phor. Every emotion is a frequency and thus represents a
certain color in the light beam. All together they form
white light. If you repress one emotion, your inner lights
becomes distorted and your vital energy gets out of bal-
ance.

Q. What are the ways to smoothly learn creative writ-


ing? Why is it conducive to your health to express yourself
through writing?
A. Self-Expression is essential for bringing out the best
in you; it is an urge, nothing less than that. Express your-
self through writing. If you never did, start with writing
down your dreams. When you read the biographies of
writers, you see that if the urge to write is repressed, health
problems will follow.

Q. What are the benefits of keeping a journal, and a


dream journal?
A. Our dreams are the other half of our being. We
sleep one third of our life. Every 1 1/2 hour, we experience
a REM phase, during which we dream. It lasts half an
hour, and after every cycle the REM phase gets longer. In
the morning, you may have a dream of one entire hour or

242
SUCCESS STRATEGIES

more. It is essential that you know what the other half of


you thinks. Its not just feedback on all you think and do
during the day, and its not just digesting your past. Its
that also, but much more. Note your dreams. Start with
creating a dream journal. Its one of the most essential
things to do for your success.

Q. What is the benefit of integrating your younger self,


your child self or inner child?
A. Your younger self is your inner child of the past. It is
the energy of your childhood. If this energy was sad and
repressed, it is still sad and repressed today. If this energy
is in a catatonic state, you have to awaken your inner child
by a process of inner child recovery and healing. By heal-
ing your inner child you heal the original wounding that
kept you attached to your past.

Q. How can you learn faster and smarter?

A. Harness the power of your subconscious mind! You


have learnt already about dreams that we have a subcon-
scious mind which has its own peculiar intelligence. It
regulates all our vital functions such as breathing rhythm,
sleep cycles, heart rate and so forth. It is essential for smart
and easy learning that subconscious and conscious mind
work in sync.

Q. What can you learn from studying the biographies


of highly successful people?

243
THE BETTER LIFE

A. Napoleon Hills famous study has brought to day-


light that there is a certain pattern, or patterns of behavior
all these people have adopted and adopt. You may call
them principles, or duties, or behavior codes. I came to call
them enchanted duties. Why are they enchanted? They
are the result of devotion, a decision for change, a dedica-
tion, a mission that was thought through to the end, and
then put to action. This study also showed that being
wealthy, famous, popular, blessed and recognized for ones
achievements is not chance, not good luck, nor is it simply
hard work or smart, nor is it family and upbringing, or
support in early life. It is none of this. It is really only the
fact that a certain person sets for himself or herself an act
of faith, and dedicates their life to a certain cause, a clearly
described mission, chief aim or main purpose of life.

Q. What is the true sense of atonement (meditation)?


A. If you are addicted to body building, try mind building
for a while. If you are a hopeless university person, start
doing something for moving your body around. Mind and
body are connected and when you neglect one of them,
you damage the other as well.
Meditation is not a magic exercise, it has nothing in
common with chastisement or self-abnegation, and its not
even a religious practice, for you can profit of it even if you
are agnostic.
When I say atonement, I mean that its something that
strengthens you. As physical exercise strengthens your

244
SUCCESS STRATEGIES

muscles, atonement strengthens your mind, your lucidity,


awareness, power of observation, critical sense, and dis-
crimination.

It sharpens your mind by silencing your mind. The si-


lent mind is the powerful mind for its not distracted and
restless, but firmly focused.

Q. Why do we need to develop the qualities of our


right brain and learn to trust our associative thinking abili-
ties? Why is that especially important for us people from
the West?
A. Our school system only teaches deductive thinking,
left-brain thinking, rational thinking or however you want
to call it. But we have two brain hemispheres, not only one.
And the right brain hemisphere has very important prop-
erties or qualities that you need to activate before you can
experience success. Schools and even universities as they
are today do not train people to be successful. Our mecha-
nistic educational system is with one leg still in the dark
ages. So you cant rely on anything you learnt there for its
not conducive to your success. You need to inquire beyond
the little window into reality you got opened there, and see
the whole picture. Many people have done that before you,
and you can profit from their insights.
What I am telling you is not to neglect your logical
thinking, your deductive analysis of events or data, but to
use your right brain with the same strength, involving in-
ductive thinking, and the synthesis of data.

245
THE BETTER LIFE

Q. How would you define self-acceptance?


A. When you accept yourself, you vibrate in unison
with all-that-is. Then the universe will support the realiza-
tion of your soul desires as long as they are not harming
others. Self-acceptance is crucial in life for success. If you
reject yourself, you reject life. Its really as simple as that.
Self-acceptance means you are focused on discovering
your uniqueness, and gradually develop the character
traits, gifts, talents and unique skills you possess and bring
them to fruition.

Q. Why is building trust so important and how to ac-


tually build trust if you know you are a rather suspicious
and mistrusting person?
A. There is probably no greater and more expansive
feeling than trust. Trusting others at a high level is like liv-
ing in paradise. On the other hand, mistrusting others at a
high level equals living in hell.

Trusting others can be learnt by trusting them. It begins


with your bag on the restaurant table when you go to the
restroom, and it ends with allowing your child take public
transport for going to school instead of driving him there
every day and picking her up there every day.

246
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THE BETTER LIFE

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THE BETTER LIFE

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251
THE BETTER LIFE

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THE BETTER LIFE

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THE BETTER LIFE

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THE BETTER LIFE

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259
THE BETTER LIFE

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THE BETTER LIFE

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263
THE BETTER LIFE

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Birthday
London: Clairview Books, 2002
First Published in 1986 with Century Hutchinson in London

The Functions of the Orgasms


The Highway to Transcendence
London: Pinter & Martin, 2009

Ong, Hean-Tatt
Amazing Scientific Basis of Feng-Shui
Kuala Lumpur: Eastern Dragon Press, 1997

Ostrander, Sheila & Schroeder, Lynn


Superlearning 2000
New York: Delacorte Press, 1994

Supermemory
New York: Carroll & Graf, 1991

Pert, Candace B.
Molecules of Emotion
The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine
New York: Scribner, 2003

265
THE BETTER LIFE

Ponder, Catherine
The Healing Secrets of the Ages
Marine del Rey: DeVorss, 1985

Prescott, James W.
Affectional Bonding for the Prevention of Violent Behaviors
Neurobiological, Psychological and Religious/Spiritual Determinants
in: Hertzberg, L.J., Ostrum, G.F. and Field, J.R., (Eds.)

Violent Behavior
Vol. 1, Assessment & Intervention, Chapter Six
New York: PMA Publishing, 1990

Alienation of Affection
Psychology Today, December 1979

Body Pleasure and the Origins of Violence


Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, 10-20 (1975)

Deprivation of Physical Affection as a Primary Process in the


Development of Physical Violence
A Comparative and Cross-Cultural Perspective,
in: David G. Gil, ed., Child Abuse and Violence
New York: Ams Press, 1979

Radin, Dean
The Conscious Universe
The Scientific Truth of Psychic Phenomena
San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1997

Entangled Minds
Extrasensory Experiences in a Quantum Reality
New York: Paraview Pocket Books, 2006

Raknes, Ola
Wilhelm Reich and Orgonomy
Oslo: Universitetsforlaget, 1970

Reich, Wilhelm
Children of the Future
On the Prevention of Sexual Pathology
New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1983
First published in 1950

266
BIBLIOGRAPHY

CORE (Cosmic Orgone Engineering)


Part I, Space Ships, DOR and DROUGHT
1984, Orgone Institute Press
XEROX Copy from the Wilhelm Reich Museum

Early Writings 1
New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1975

Ether, God & Devil & Cosmic Superimposition


New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1972
Originally published in 1949

Genitality in the Theory and Therapy of Neurosis


1980 by Mary Boyd Higgins as Director of the Wilhelm Reich Infant
Trust

People in Trouble
1974 by Mary Boyd Higgins as Director of the Wilhelm Reich Infant
Trust

Record of a Friendship
The Correspondence of Wilhelm Reich and A. S. Neill
New York, Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1981

Selected Writings
An Introduction to Orgonomy
New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1973

The Bioelectrical Investigation of Sexuality and Anxiety


New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1983
Originally published in 1935

The Bion Experiments


reprinted in Selected Writings
New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1973

The Cancer Biopathy (The Orgone, Vol. 2)


New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1973

The Function of the Orgasm (The Orgone, Vol. 1)


Orgone Institute Press, New York, 1942

The Invasion of Compulsory Sex Morality


New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1971
Originally published in 1932

267
THE BETTER LIFE

The Leukemia Problem: Approach


1951, Orgone Institute Press
Copyright Renewed 1979
XEROX Copy from the Wilhelm Reich Museum

The Mass Psychology of Fascism


New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1970
Originally published in 1933

The Orgone Energy Accumulator


Its Scientific and Medical Use
1951, 1979, Orgone Institute Press
XEROX Copy from the Wilhelm Reich Museum

The Schizophrenic Split


1945, 1949, 1972 by Mary Boyd Higgins as Director of the
Wilhelm Reich Infant Trust
XEROX Copy from the Wilhelm Reich Museum

The Sexual Revolution


1945, 1962 by Mary Boyd Higgins as Director of the Wilhelm Reich
Infant Trust

Rhodes, Richard
The Making of the Atomic Bomb
New York, Simon & Schuster, 1995

Ross, George H.
Trump Style Negotiation
Powerful Strategies and Tactics for Mastering Every Deal
Foreword by Donald J. Trump
Hoboken, NJ: Wiley, 2006

Trump Strategies for Real Estate


Billionaire Lessons for the Small Investor
With Andrew James McLean
Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley, 2005

Rumi
The Essential Rumi
New York: HarperOne, 1995

268
BIBLIOGRAPHY

Schlipp, Paul A. (Ed.)


Albert Einstein
Philosopher-Scientist
New York: Open Court Publishing, 1988

Schonberg, Harold C.
The Great Pianists: From Mozart to the Present
New York: Simon and Schuster (Fireside), 2006
First published in 1963

Schultes, Richard Evans, et al.


Plants of the Gods
Their Sacred, Healing, and Hallucinogenic Powers
New York: Healing Arts Press
2nd edition, 2002

Seneca
Letters from a Stoic
New York: Penguin, 2004

Sharaf, Myron
Fury on Earth
A Biography of Wilhelm Reich
London: Andr Deutsch, 1983

Sheldrake, Rupert
A New Science of Life
The Hypothesis of Morphic Resonance
Rochester: Park Street Press, 1995

Simonton, Otto Carl et al.


Getting Well Again
Los Angeles: Tarcher, 1978

Small, Jacquelyn
The Sacred Purpose of Being Human
A Journey Through the 12 Principles of Wholeness
New York: HCI, 2005

269
THE BETTER LIFE

Stone, Hal & Stone, Sidra


Embracing Our Selves
The Voice Dialogue Manual
San Rafael, CA: New World Library, 1989

Strassman, Rick
DMT: The Spirit Molecule
A doctors revolutionary research into the biology of near-death
and mystical experiences
Rochester: Park Street Press, 2001

Talbot, Michael
The Holographic Universe
New York: HarperCollins, 1992

Tatar, Maria M.
Spellbound: Studies on Mesmerism and Literature
Princeton, N.Y., 1978

Tiller, William A.
Conscious Acts of Creation
The Emergence of a New Physics
Associated Producers, 2004 (DVD)

Psychoenergetic Science
New York: Pavior, 2007

Conscious Acts of Creation


New York: Pavior, 2001

Trump, Donald
Never Give Up
How I Turned My Biggest Challenge into Success
With Meredith MacIver
Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley, 2008

The Art of the Deal


With Tony Schwartz
New York: Ballantine Books, 1987

270
BIBLIOGRAPHY

Think Big
Make it Happen in Business and Life
With Bill Zanker
New York: Harper, 2007

Wilber, Ken
Sex, Ecology, Spirituality
The Spirit of Evolution
Boston: Shambhala, 2000

Quantum Questions
Mystical Writings of The Worlds Greatest Physicists
Boston: Shambhala, 2001

Zyman, Sergio
The End of Marketing as We Know It
New York: HarperCollins, 2000

271
Personal Notes