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Creating a Jewish Home

Created for Tzafon USY

Four full lessons (includes Shabbat and non-Shabbat
1. Shalom Bayit 1: The REAL Shalom In the Home
2. Shalom Bayit 2: Hashomair Achi Anochi (Our
Brothers’ Keepers): Sibling Relationships
3. Eat a Little Something! Hachnasat Orchim:
Welcoming Guests
4. Extreme Home Makeover: Jewish Edition
Creating a ‘makom kadosh,’ a physical holy space in our
Core Jewish concepts and associated texts:
 Shalom Bayit – Peace in the Home- sibling and family
dynamics in the book of Beresheit
 Kibbud Av va’em- honor of parents –Shemot 20:12
 ‫אׁשאשר־ויה ֥ואוה‬
‫מ֔ה רֲא‬
‫אאד א‬
‫ה רֲא‬
‫עכל יא‬
֚ ‫מיך א‬
֔ ‫רכ֣ו֙ןב י א א‬
‫א ִב‬
‫ע֙ן֙ י יכ רֲא‬
‫מ֑ך א ל ו כ‬
‫א אב‬
‫א־ת־ ִב‬
‫אבִב֖יך א ו ו א‬
‫א־ת־ א‬
‫יב כ כ בב ֵּב ֥בד א‬
‫מ֨ כ‬
‫ה֖יך א נו־תֵּ֥ב֙ן ל יאך ו‬
‫אלו א‬
‫ א‬:
 ‫מך א‬
‫א אי ב‬
‫־תוור ֥כ־ת ִב‬
‫טׁשש ב‬
‫־תִ֝ב ֗בו‬
‫אל־ ב‬
‫אבִב֑יך א ו ו כ‬
‫סר א‬
֣ ‫ני מו ב כ‬
‫מע ב ֭וב ִב‬
֣ ‫ח ׁשוש כ‬:
Hear, my son, the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the
teaching of thy mother; Mishlay 1:8 (Proverbs)
?keeper Am I my brothers ‫כי‬
‫אניו ִב‬
‫ח֖י א‬
‫א ִב‬
‫מר א‬
֥ ‫הׁששו ֵּב‬
‫ רֲא‬:
 Makom Kadosh: A physical Jewish space: Ritual objects,
Judaica, and Jewish art
 Hachnasat Orchim- welcoming guests

Goals via active learning

 USY’ers will identify core values associated within the Jewish
home and actively practice these concepts
 USY’ers will discuss, through text and what it means to build a
Jewish home

 USY’ers will identify objects and physical properties of a Jewish

Lesson 1: Shalom Bayit: the REAL “Shalom in the Home”
(sorry, no Shmuley Boteach)

USYers will explore relationship dynamics of dysfunctional families in Beresheit in
order to highlight core elements of Shalom Bayit: respect, trust, communication
and teamwork
Parent-child – Yiztchak and Rivka with Yaakov and Eisav,
Sibling-sibling – Ya’akov and Eisav, Yosef and brothers, Aharon and Moshe,
Kayin and Hevel
Parent-parent – Avraham and Sarah, Yaakov and Rahel and Leah
Set Induction: Opening Activity on Trust, Communication and Teamwork
The Trust Walk
Set up a mini obstacle course using chairs and other objects you can find. Form
pairs. Ask one partner to be the navigator (guide), and the other to be
blindfolded. When the blindfolded partner is ready, slowly spin the person
around a few times so that they do not know which direction they are
headed. (trust) From this point on, the guide should not touch the partner at all,
but rely on verbal cues (e.g. “About five steps ahead, there is a branch. Step over
it slowly.”) communication
The guide is solely responsible for his or her partner’s safety. (teamwork). He or
she should be navigated to avoid obstacles. In this way, participants learn
valuable lessons related to teamwork: the guide learns about the challenge and
responsibility of caring for another individual’s well being, while the blindfolded
partner learns to trust and rely on another person. Ask participants to reflect and
share upon their experiences.
Step 2: Debrief the Experience through discussion
Sample Questions:

What was the purpose of this activity?
What was it like to be the guide, responsible for the safety of your partner?
Did you have any difficulty trusting your partner while blindfolded? Why or
why not?

35 And he said: 'Thy brother came with guile. O my father. 24 And he said: 'Art thou my very son Esau?' And he said: 'I am. because his hands were hairy. and said unto his father: 'Bless me. some of this red. Hevel and God Shabbat friendly: Gather in groups and assign one group leader as facilitator Lay out bolded words with text on index cards so all group members can see: Deception – Yaakov and Yitzchak. but the hands are the hands of Esau. even me also. and Esau came in from the field. Weekday/non Shabbat friendly: Post texts on posters with titles that hurt Shalom Bayit (deception. anger. so he blessed him.' 23 And he discerned him not. Eisav. trust or both the key to success here? Why is trust in your teammates important? How did it feel when you and your teammate successfully trusted each other to accomplish something challenging? How does this relate to being part of a family? DISCUSS IDEAS OF TRUST. Kayin. and he was faint. Rivka and Yitzchak. etc. Jewish Texts: The First Families: Yaakov. Noach and children.    How well did you communicate with each other? Was communication. And Jacob went near unto Isaac his father.) around the room and have USYers write examples from their own lives under each one. mistrust. he cried with an exceeding great and bitter cry. I pray thee. Ask for examples from their own lives. COMMUNICATION AND TEAMWORK AS ESSENTIAL COMPONENTS TO FAMILY/HOME LIFE. red . Yaakov and Lavan And Jacob sod pottage. Rivka and Yitzchak 1.' (Beresheit 27 22:24) 2. and he felt him.' (Beresheit 27:41). and said: 'The voice is the voice of Jacob. as his brother Esau's hands. 30 And Esau said to Jacob: 'Let me swallow. And Esau said in his heart: 'Let the days of mourning for my father be at hand. and hath taken away thy blessing. I wanted to clobber him. then will I slay my brother Jacob. “When Esau heard the words of his father. For example: Eisav’s anger: “And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him. USYers write: I once got so angry at my brother for erasing the file I had saved on the desktop.' (Beresheit 27 34-35) Mistrust: Yaakov and Eisav.

(Beresheit 37: 4-5). (Beresheit 4: 4-5.pottage. do to her that which is good in your eyes. and could not speak peaceably unto him.' Therefore was his name called Edom. I am at the point to die. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren. red pottage. and his countenance fell…And Cain spoke unto Abel his brother. I am at the point to die. Kayin and Hevel. and what . And it came to pass. Sarai and Hagar 1. And Cain was very angry. I pray thee.' And Sarai dealt harshly with her.How is this an “absent marriage?” How does Rivka and Yitzchak’s irresponsible behavior affect their children’s relationship and their own? Jealousy: Yosef and brothers. 8) 3. and slew him. 32 And Esau said: 'Behold. and he told it to his brethren. And Esau said to Jacob: 'Let me swallow. they hated him. “Anger in the home is like a worm in a fruit” (Sotah 3b) – Yaakov and Eisav 2. and he was faint. and what profit shall the birthright do to me?' 33 And Jacob said: 'Swear to me first'. 31 And Jacob said: 'Sell me first thy birthright.' (Beresheit 27:41) Absent/irresponsible: Rivka and Yitzchak. (Beresheit 2933) Anger: 1. How do they lack communication? Sarah and Avraham (Abe doesn’t tell her about the Akayda) Disrespect: Yaakov and Eisav: And Jacob sod pottage.'.' Therefore was his name called Edom. 5 And Joseph dreamed a dream. and Esau came in from the field. And Esau said in his heart: 'Let the days of mourning for my father be at hand.” (Beresheit 16:6) 2. your maid is in your hand. and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him. some of this red. and he swore unto him. 5 but unto Cain and to his offering He had not respect. he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. when they were in the field. And Abel. that Cain rose up against Abel his brother. Non-communicative: Rivka and Yitzchak. then will I slay my brother Jacob. and they hated him yet the more. 31 And Jacob said: 'Sell me first thy birthright. for I am faint. and she fled from her face. But Abram said unto Sarai: 'Behold.32 And Esau said: 'Behold. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering. for I am faint. Yaakov and Eisav.

and knew what his youngest son had done unto him. Questions for discussion: Ask USYers to stand up and speak in first person. it may be that I shall be builded up through her. and they saw not their father's nakedness. And he drank of the wine. This is key to learning the concepts. Did he get his just reward? . (Beresheit 9: 20-24) Shem runs to tell his brothers (sort of to mock his father). he wouldn’t be practicing Kibbud Av V’em. and he swore unto him. the LORD hath restrained me from the quote and recap the story of Esav. and laid it upon both their shoulders. And Shem and Japheth took a garment. I pray thee. (Beresheit 25: 29-33 Supportive: Sarah and Avraham But Abram said unto Sarai: 'Behold. and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. and told his two brethren without. The other two brothers empathically cover their father’s shame. do to her that which is good in thine eyes. (Beresheit 16:6) Empathic: Noach and sons And Noah the husbandman began.' And Sarai dealt harshly with her. and planted a vineyard.' (Beresheit 16: 1-2) Read each text and recap the story for those who may not know. But by doing so. USY’ers choose adjectives or verbs that describe the actions of the text. Yaakov. And Noah awoke from his wine. and was drunken. and covered the nakedness of their father. the father of Canaan. putting themselves in the characters shoes and relate each situation to their own lives. an Egyptian. How would you feel knowing you were deceived by your brother? Was Eisav’s anger justified? What did Yaakov do wrong? If he hadn’t obeyed his mother. he hurt both his father and brother. And Ham. Ask them to speak in first person as if they were that character. I told my parents I was going to my friend’s house and really I went to the concert they had forbidden me from attending. Yaakov tricks his father and then is tricked by Lavan (Rachel and Leah story). Rivka and Yitzchak. For example: Deception. whose name was Hagar. Understanding: Avraham and Sarai 1 Now Sarai Abram's wife bore him no children. Ask them for an example from their own lives for each word and text.  Pretend you are Eisav. go in. thy maid is in thy hand.profit shall the birthright do to me?' And Jacob said: 'Swear to me first'. and he was uncovered within his tent. and she fled from her face. 2 And Sarai said unto Abram: 'Behold now. saw the nakedness of his father. and went backward. and their faces were backward. unto my handmaid. and she had a handmaid.

 Pretend you are Kayin. but even your mom can have her feelings hurt. my son. Dvarim 5:16 and Vayikra 19:3) ‫מ֔יך א ע֚כל‬ ‫רכ֣ו֙ןב י א א‬ ‫א ִב‬ ‫ע֙ן֙ י יכ רֲא‬ ‫מ֑ך א ל ו כ‬ ‫א אב‬ ‫א־ת־ ִב‬ ‫אב ִב֖יך א ו ו א‬ ‫א־ת־ א‬ ‫כ כ בב ֵּב ֥בד א‬ ‫מ֨ כ‬ ‫ה֖יך א נו־תֵּ֥ב֙ן ל יאך ו‬ ‫אלו א‬ ‫אׁשאשר־ויהואו֥ה א‬ ‫מ֔ה רֲא‬ ‫אאד א‬ ‫ה רֲא‬ ‫ יא‬: “Honour thy father and thy mother. How would you feel after being rejected by God (God as a parent). You could either point and laugh or help relieve his/her embarrassment. Was God wrong to reject Kayin’s gift? Has something like this happened in your house where your parents praise your sibling and not you? What does God teach Kayin by rejecting his offer? When parents do this. that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God gives you. nurture.” ‫מך א‬ ‫א אי ב‬ ‫־תוור כ֥־ת ִב‬ ‫טׁשש ב‬ ֗‫־תִ֝ב בו‬ ‫אל־ ב‬ ‫אב ִב֑יך א ו ו כ‬ ‫ס֣ר א‬ ‫ני מו ב כ‬ ‫מ֣ע ב ֭וב ִב‬ ‫ח ׁשוש כ‬: How do we honor our parents and gain their trust and respect? What do we do that when sometimes…they just frustrate us and make us so mad with their rules or expectations? Sometimes they just don’t get it! How does Kibbud av va’em preserve Shalom Bayit? What do parents do in return (love. Real life scenario: your mom is learning to skate.  What examples from the dysfunction families in Beresheit hurt a Jewish home? What are some ways in which we can preserve Shalom Bayit in spite of natural tendencies to act as our ancestors did? Put out two more texts on the floor: Kibbud Av va’em for Shalom Bayit:  The commandment to honor our parents is written three times in the Torah (Shemot 20:12. what are they teaching their children about living up to their potential?  Pretend you are Yitzchak. You could point and laugh. the instruction of thy father. Or you could hold on to her hand and help her take her first steps as she helped you take yours. and forsake not the teaching of thy mother.not only did your son trick you but it was under the advice of your wife. supportshare the Chullin quote below) How can we apply this to our relationship with our siblings as well? . She’s wobbling all over the place and looks pretty silly. How would you feel if your life partner deceived you? What elements of a solid marriage were broken here?  Pretend you are one of the sons of Noach. Your parent embarrasses her/himself in a silly manner.” Mishlei 1:8 (Proverbs): “Hear.

Have them include an examples or scenario for each. even from your parents) . Ask them to give situations or examples for each.Add elements of yourself: Weekday: Give the group a jumbo recipe card. assemble a giant “cookbook” of Shalom Bayit recipes. love. Funny but true in some way in that food and customs revolving around the family table is central to every Jewish holiday. Finally. teamwork Following the discussion on elements of relationships that hurt or preserve Shalom bayit. let’s eat. Sample Recipe for Shalom Bayit (adjust to taste. we won. What is your recipe for Shalom Bayit for a peaceful Jewish home? Activity .“A man should honor his wife and children with even more than which he has” (Chullin 84b) Examples to discuss: Trust. cups may be converted to months. support. no one’s too cool for hugs and kisses. Leader continues: Practice defined givens and add an element of yourself: There’s an old Jewish joke that is ironically sad but true: How do we explain every Jewish holiday? They tried to kill us. reconvene as a large group and move to the next step. What does it mean to be a good son/daughter/sibling or parent? Ask the USY’ers to list qualities of being a good son/daughter/sibling and parent to complete the recipe. In Chevruta. One suggestion is to use Job text as a title “And you shall know that your home is at peace” (5:24) Shabbat Friendly: provide labels as stickers for possible “ingredients” for Shalom Bayit. Each Jewish recipe not only tempts our palates and clogs our arteries but has significance in building a Jewish home. communication. teaspoons to years)  Daily doses of home ritual and traditions (example: talking before bed)  1 week of a vacation experience  Slices of chores  1 day/hour of family time  Daily discussions to resolve conflict  Pinches of “I love yous”  Unlimited amount of hugs and kisses (come on. have each pair discuss ingredients and create a recipe for Shalom Bayit based on what they’ve learned from the dysfunctional families of B’resheit and the Kibbud av va’em and Mishlei quotes.

am I my brother's keeper?' (Beresheit 4:9) ‫מ֥ר‬ ‫הׁששו ֵּב‬ ‫־תי רֲא‬ ‫ע ב ִב‬ ‫ח֑יך א ו כי ב֤֨וא א‬ ‫א ִב‬ ‫בל א‬ ‫ה֣ א‬ ‫א ֖י א‬ ‫ק ֔י֙ן ֵּב‬ ‫אל־ כ‬ ‫מר ויהואוה֙ א‬ ‫ו כי ב֤וא א‬ ‫מר֙ לו֣א י אכד֔ ו‬ ‫כי‬ ‫אניו ִב‬ ‫ח֖י א‬ ‫א ִב‬ ‫ א‬: Goals  One major impediment to Shalom Bayit is conflict between siblings. How many of you have been in the same situation where if we replace God with mom or dad. They must find their sibling and put the card together to compile a quote (also attached).Kayin and Hevel. I don’t need this…” Are we our brothers’ keepers? Are we responsible to look out for our siblings? ‫כי‬ ‫אניו ִב‬ ‫ח֖י א‬ ‫א ִב‬ ‫מ֥ר א‬ ‫הׁששו ֵּב‬ ‫ רֲא‬: Kayin asks .preserving sibling relationships for Shalom Bayit We all know the famous story of the first set of siblings.Shalom Bayit Lesson 2: Hashomair Achi Anochi? Your Brothers’ Keeper Text Source: And the LORD said unto Cain: 'Where is Abel thy brother?' And he said: 'I know not. felt that your brother or sister was favored over you? Kayin gets jealous and angry and basically says “forget him. (list attached). Ask USYers to read the quote from a sibling set in Genesis or a secular quote on siblings and discuss whether they relate to it via personal example or whther they agree or disagree Leader introduces concept: Our brothers’ keepers. Ice breaker: Famous Sibs   Give each USY’er a card with the name of one of two sibling pairs. USYers will discuss real life situations they encounter with their siblings at home and discuss cases of famous Jewish siblings in order to develop an understanding of Jewish approaches to solving sibling rivalry.

“Here’s the dispute and this is how we would solve it…. Practice defined givens: Shalom Bayit and Hashomer Achi Anochi Each group presents its scenario with approaches to solving the problems rationally and respectfully.” Summary discussion:  What can we learn about forgiveness and brotherhood/sisterhood from the Joseph story? . He ends up beating everyone in the game. making you and your other brother really mad. Your other brother comes downstairs and wants to play. Your mom ends up feeling bad for him for feeling excluded and gives him the car for the weekend. Cham and Yafet Rachel and Leah Knowing these stories. Real life: You have two friends over and you’re hanging out playing XBOX in your basement with them and your brother. Scenarios: Each group is given a biblical text dealing with a sibling set (see sibling pairs and quotes from ice breaker)      Yosef and Brothers Kayin and Hevel Yitzchak and Yaakov Shem. Example: Yosef and Co. You kick him out of the basement.Divide into groups. MODERN scenario. gets cocky and starts bragging. read the text and discuss what circumstances or actions determined this relationship and how it destroyed Shalom Bayit?       How did that person’s personality or character determine what happened? How do you/your siblings’ personalities effect how you interact? What kind of involvement do the parents have in these stories and in your life? At what point does it become the siblings’ responsibility to solve their own disputes (parents step back and say ‘figure it out yourselves’) When do you get your parents involved in your sibling disputes? How does sibling rivalry hurt Shalom Bayit? How can sibling relationships enhance Shalom Bayit? Each group must choose one quote they relate to most and PRESENT IT IN A REAL LIFE.

for me and were there! .   How can the jealousy and anger between Eisav and Yaakov help us deal with conflict we experience with our sibs? How can we look past differential treatment of parents and understand that they love us each in different and equal ways? What are some ways we can solve our strife between siblings while preserving Shalom Bayit? Attachment: Sibling sets and quotes (secular and Jewish texts) Owen Wilson Luke Wilson “Siblings are the best friends given to us by God” John Cusack Joan Cusack “Families are like fudge: mostly sweet with some nuts” Mary-Kate Olsen Ashley Olsen Sometimes being a brother is better than being a superhero Bart Simpson A sibling shares childhood memories Lisa Simpson and grown up dreams Meg Griffin Its nice to grow up with a sibling… on…someone to tell on! Stewey Griffin sometime to lean on. Hillary Duff Haley Duff As we grew up.quite often the hard way. fairness and cooperation and kindness and the people who teach us about caring . someone to count Jamie Lynne Spears Brittany Spears Siblings are the people we practice on. my brothers acted but I always knew they looked out like they didn't care.

. we by people or years or distance.. And how I love him too. They are God's gift to you. gives Sisterhood and brotherhood is a Robert Kennedy birth makes people sisters or brothers. I them mutuality of parentage. how I hated that little boy.. Prince Charles Prince Edward "Your siblings are the only people to have been brought up the in the world who know what it's like way you were. same fabric..Venus Williams The highlight of my childhood was making food came out his nose. the man who is my brother . Even though we appear to be have a common thread that won't be broken -- it's as if we are cut from the sewn in a different pattern. Charlie Sheen Emilio Estevez "We are more than just acquaintances. condition people have to work at. Serena Williams my brother laugh so hard that Michael Jackson Janet Jackson You don't choose your family. JFK I don't believe an accident of t makes them siblings. Zack Cody There is a little boy inside Oh. as you are to them." Yosef Re’uven .

Esau I am a smooth man.And Joseph dreamed a dream. (Beresheit 9:23) *siblings sharing in responsibility of parents Yafet and laid it upon both their the nakedness of their father. and him yet the more (Beresheit 37:5) siblings’ success? he told it to his brethren. but fair to look upon (Beresheit 17:29) your siblings.' Rachel Leah And Leah's eyes were weak. and they hated Have you ever felt jealous at your Kayin Hevel And again she bore his brother Abel. and went backward. and covered and their faces were backward. And Abel was a keeper of sheep. Yishmael buried him in the cave of field of Ephron (Beresheit 25:9) Are siblings responsible for being partners in care of parents? Yaakov his mother:'Behold. shoulders. who are raised along side of the blessing wherewith his And Esau said in his heart: 'Let the then will I slay my brother Jacob. like you were second best? Rachel was of beautiful form and Have you ever felt compared to Shem (son of Noach) And Shem and Japheth took a garment. nakedness. and they saw not their father's . and (Beresheit 27:11) How are you unique from those you? 27:41 And Esau hated Jacob because father blessed him. but Cain was a tiller of the ground. days of mourning for my father be at hand. in the Eisav And Jacob said to Rebekah my brother is a hairy man. Beresheit 4:2 Yitzchak And Isaac and Ishmael his sons Machpelah.

pick a theme. Shemot 23:9 You shall not oppress a stranger for you know the feelings of a stranger. As the USY’ers are discussing. Planet Bet. having yourselves been strangers in the land of Egypt. 2 options for active set induction: Activity 1: Planet Alpha Beta game Divide the group into 5 smaller circles as members of 5 different “planets” Planet Aleph. Why we create an environment of welcoming/welcoming environment: 1. ‫ ִב ב‬--‫גר‬ ‫רים‬ ‫ג ֵּב ִב‬-‫כי‬ ‫ה ֵּב ב‬ ‫נ אפ אׁשש כ‬-‫א־ת‬ ‫־תם א‬ ‫ י וכדוע ב א‬.‫־תם‬ ‫א בא‬ ‫ח.‫־תם‬ ‫היי א‬ ‫ א‬.ץ ִב‬ ‫א א‬ ‫ ב ו ב א‬. Planet Hay Each team behaves with specific customs only characteristic of the members of that group (attached) Task: Each group must design a planet theme park as a group.‫גר‬ ‫ו ו ֵּב‬ ‫רים‬ ‫מצ ו א‬ ‫ר.Lesson 3: Eat a Little Something! Hachnasat Orchim – welcoming guests Goals:  USYers will discuss and practice the elements of hosting or welcoming guests  USYers will determine the value of hachnasat orchim as being at the core of building a Jewish home TEXTS: 1.ץ. pick rides or forms of entertainment it would include and how it would represent your planet. . they must demonstrate the customs and characteristics of their planet provided. ו ו כ‬ ‫ לוא ־תִבל ו א‬. Planet Dalet. Planet Gimel.

2-3 people will be removed from each group and brought into another group. shake your head five times left and right  When the word ‘you’ is said. Two more people are moved out of the group and moved into another group Planet Characteristics Planet Alef  Choose a leader. The group is not allowed to give away any character traits or explanations. When the word ‘no’ is said. everyone lifts their hands in the air  When the word ‘the’ is said. get up and dance  Each time a girl speaks. The point is for the newcomer to adapt to the new culture and for the planet members to respond to an outsider. Each time he/she speaks. tap your feet  When someone says the word ‘no’ howl like a warewolf Planet Gimel  Choose a leader. stand up  Each time you speak. fake laugh  Each time a girl speaks. clap three times  Every time someone says the word “I”. switch places. pull on your earlobe as you speak Planet Dalet  Choose a leader. each time he/she speaks. lock/link arms with the people next to you Discussion: analyze the experience -reconvene to debrief the experience Questions:  What were some of the characteristics of your planet?  How was the discussion dominated by the behavior?  How did it feel that everyone knew what to do? . Each time she/he speaks. slap the floor  Whenever a girl speaks. tap your cheek three times Planet Hay  Choose a leader. every time he/she speaks.After about 7 minutes. Each time he/she speaks. touch your nose  Stand up every time the word ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is said Planet Bet  Choose a leader.

frustrated. Give them posters to design a safe space for visitors. hostile environment. Discussion: How does environment determine how we welcome guests? How does what we do BEFORE the guest arrives determine their experience in our home? . it helps to know what’s going on and how that culture differs from your own. Can they think of examples from their own experiences as a host or guest? What do they remember helped or hindered their comfort in as a guest? Weekday Friendly: Split the large group into smaller groups.  What did it feel like as the newcomer. ask USY’ers to gather as a group in the center of the room. Ask them if entering this room was pleasant or painful (uncomfortable). as the outsider? Were you confused. It can be similar to the show “Pimp my Ride” where they transform cars into fancy rides. Ideas: Check IDs at the door or make them wait a long time to enter the room -space chairs randomly throughout the room -give cups of water or cookies only to advisors and staff -have them be in a space that is too small or too large -have them spaced sitting by themselves throughout the room After about 10 minutes of discomfort. Think about when you go to a new country and don’t understand certain customs or habits? ---OR--Activity 2: A Hostile Home: Setting up an un-inviting environment Teach the idea of the environment of welcoming by creating an uncomfortable. What made it such? Shabbat Friendly: place items for warm hospitality on a table and have USY’ers choose items they feel are helpful in creating a welcoming and warm home. discouraged? Did anyone try and help you? Did you feel that you could interrupt and ask for help? Did you miss your own group where you knew what was going on? Did anyone wish to reach out to the newcomer? Did you even notice that he/she could have been lost or confused? What does this have to do with welcoming visitors? When you’re a newcomer to a group or unfamiliar situation.

pass not away. You can make this into an auction where they are given a certain amount of money and must budget for the most necessary items or just have the item name on a card for them to take back to the group. Of the 15 items from the center table that you would provide to ensure you’re guests are well care for. choose your top 10 and then top 5. I pray thee. and wash your feet. and he hastened to dress it.' And they said: 'So do. after that ye shall pass on. And I will fetch a morsel of bread.Present to the group Step 2: What we DO to welcome guests while in our home? Text: Avraham greets the angels 2. lo. and bowed down to the earth.  Snack for arrival  Name tags so no one is embarrassed about remembering names  Ice breaker games  Sweatshirt or jacket for unexpected cold weather  Extra pillows and blankets for their sleeping comfort  An activity that’s both Israeli and American (example: a sport) . and set it before them. knead it. And Abraham ran unto the herd. And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah. (Beresheit 18: 2-8) What does Avraham DO (point out the actions he takes to welcome his guests). and the calf which he had dressed. and gave it unto the servant. and make cakes. he ran to meet them from the tent door. and said: 'My lord. and stay ye your heart. and they did eat. and. Based on this text from Beresheit and your own experiences. and recline yourselves under the tree. if now I have found favour in thy sight. from thy servant. and he stood by them under the tree. and said: 'Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal. as thou hast said. forasmuch as ye are come to your servant. Let now a little water be fetched. and fetched a calf tender and good. three men stood over against him. Why leave out the others? List of items: Have actual items or something that represents those items. and when he saw them. Option A: Practice defined givens of HACHNASAT ORCHIM: Welcoming guests is a core component of creating a Jewish home. “and he lifted up his eyes and looked. pretend you are hosting a group of Israeli students coming to visit. And he took curd. Why are these the most important? Debate it. and milk.

(Example: I was once staying in a house where they didn’t give me a warm enough blanket and I was up all night freezing. What elements go in to being a host? How will you make sure your guests are well cared for and comfortable? Each group is assigned to one component of hachnasat orchim  Food  Atmosphere/environment  Welcoming (like a Kabalat Panim)  Invitations  Any other needs____________ (as a whole. Building a Jewish home means not only caring for those who live in that home but anyone who enters it. Have them give examples from their own lives of when they have experienced or didn’t experience these elements of hospitality and how it changed the experience. . OPTION B for Hachnasat Orchim: Have the USYers host a party. Explain to them that they’ll be hosting a party for the advisors. We’ve all been newcomers or guests in a given environment and feeling warmly welcomed and taken care of is one of the greatest gifts we can give to newcomers.         Use of Hebrew words and phrases so they may feel more comfortable with the language gap Music for down time Fun and interesting places on itinerary (or an actual itinerary) Computer or phone for communication with family back home Good meals and making sure dietary needs or restrictions are considered Asking a lot of questions about their lives (showing interest) A gift that’s “American” for when they arrive or leave Thank you for coming. info to stay in touch Hosting 2 or more so they have a friend with them Present your list and which items caused the most debate. or he/she hosted a party and no one spoke to me the whole night). decide what else needs to be taken care of for the 5th group) Summary: ‫־תך‬ ‫בי יא‬ ‫בי ֵּב‬ ‫רי יווׁשוש ֵּב‬ ‫אׁשוש ֵּב‬ ‫כ‬ “Happy are those who dwell in Your house” Being a host involves preparing for the guest’s arrival AND taking care of them while in your home.

” (from WOMEN IN THE HOLOCAUST III. Sara Zelvor-Orbach. She/he begins his/her story. but a tarnished menorah dating back to your childhood.Lesson 4: Extreme Home Makeover: Jewish Edition (Creating Makom Kadosh. but I somehow felt as if the souls of all the righteous women of all the generations were firmly connected to these candles. When left with nothing but pain.candlesticks and the Holocaust Leader walks in with a cane and babushka (dressed as an elderly person). and felt then that through my mother’s merit . Perhaps I saw at that moment my mother’s covered face.107) “What was the power of these simple candles to kindle in my heart this inextinguishable fire? I don’t know how to put this feeling into words. They were passed down as a wedding gift from my elderly grandmother who endangered her life to rescue them during a pogrom in her village. “Lu Yehi Boker” p. as told to me by my Aunt Rachel. a holy physical space) Goals:    USYers will determine what a Jewish home physically looks like (upon appearance. Ad lib a story about surviving the war as a child in hiding and going back to a home no longer yours to find no surviving relatives. These candlesticks were her keepsake and she guarded them always. Ask for 2 others to read the 2 Women in the Holocaust voices: “These candlesticks here have a history. what distinguishes a Jewish home from a non-Jewish home) USYers will determine how symbols of Jewish life inspire living a Jewish life USYers will determine how Jewish artifacts connect us to family and tradition Opening set induction: Shabbat version: a live story. the menorah was your link to a home and family members gone forever and the persistence of tradition and legacy you will leave with your grandchildren.

particularly ritual items.” from WOMEN IN THE HOLOCAUST .133. connect us to the “souls of all righteous women of all generations?” How can so much memory. how would he/she know it was Jewish? What physical evidence proves yours to be a Jewish home? Weekday version: each group writes on poster board or giant Post It Shabbat version: decide as a group the top 3 responses What does having these Jewish objects do for a Jewish family. but I somehow felt as if the souls of all the righteous women of all the generations were firmly connected to these candles. meaning and tradition rest in an upright set of bronze candlesticks? Why was it so amazing for this bubby/zaidy to not only find an item from his/her destroyed home at such an emotional. decorative pieces such as a vase or fruit bowl Split into groups for Question 2: If a stranger walked into your home. What is the purpose of Mezuza being on the outside? . How will living in that new space cater to how that family wishes or needs to live? Discussion for weekday opener: If a stranger walked into your home. what decorations or elements of design do you think he/she would comment on? What did you parents buy for your home that has personal significance or adds beauty to the home in some way? Art.p. many Jews are uncomfortable with mezuzah as it marks their home as specifically Jewish. Testimony of Miriam Weinstock) Re-read the line: “I don’t know how to put this feeling into words.” Discussion: How do items. lonely time but to receive a piece of Judaica? How do the items in our home represent the members of that household and the past. present and future? Shabbat version proceed to Question 2 Weekday set induction: Show end of an episode from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (a new home is built for a family with specific detail which meets their personal needs and lifestyle).she would lighten my heavy heart. family heirlooms. what does it represent? How and why do people choose to display their Jewishness? Why do some Jewish homes not have anything Jewish on the walls or shelves? For example.

*Examples: Attachment 1*      Which one is your favorite? Which one represents your family? What do you have hanging in your home that’s similar? What story do these pictures tell? How does it tell this story Why would a Jewish family display these on their walls? What stories do these pictures tell? How does this art preserve ideals of love. a Chagall painting. Each home displays its Jewishness in its own ways. etc). The artistic Jucaica we have on our shelves and walls not only remind us of our commitment to live and do Jewishly but are beautiful symbols of tradition. Judaica and Jewish art preserve these concepts. What would you change to make it applicable to your house? What would you keep? What would you add? Is this a blessing of superstition? Does this standard prayer apply to all Jewish homes? What values does it highlight? (peace. tradition and memory. Explain the power of messages through artistic representations.------------------------------------Art of the Heart-------------------------------------Practice defined givens and add something of yourself: Shabbat: Print about 10 pictures from Google Images of Judaic art. Mizrach. ritual and memory. USY’ers will create their own personalized Birkat Habayit (usually kept on a wall by the door). key to creating and maintaining a Jewish home? Hand out copies of Birkat Habayit (attachment 2) In Chevrutot: In partners. Use text from the actual birkat habayit or include some of your own. have the USYers discuss the meaning of Birkat Habyit. HAND OUT TEXT OF BIRKAT HABAYIT or text of the Shema for Mezuzot (attachment 2). Create one for your family. tradition and memory. to be reminded to live out Jewish values in our home and as we exit into the real world. home as a safe haven) Weekday: create a Birkat Habayit decorative wall hanger or Mezuza with your own family prayer alongside the Shema. Ritual objects. we value ideals of love. Shalom Bayit. love. In our Jewish homes. Sample materials:  Nice copies of Birkat Habayit: . Hand out copies of each set to participants (Ketuba.

glitter glue Scrap material Attachment 1 Ketuba Ketuba .      Hole punchers Yarn Felt pieces Glue gun Ribbon.


Let this home be filled with the blessing of joy and peace. Let no conflict be in this place. Let no sadness come through this gate. . Let no fear come through this door.Attachment 2: Birkat Habayit Blessing for the Home Blessing for the Home. Let no trouble come to this dwelling.