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Planet Nilknarf

February 2015

Welcome to Planet Nilknarf

These beautiful masks are from the set of Stanley Kubrick's movie Eyes Wide Shut, part of the
Stanley Kubrick exhibit at the TIFF Light Box at the corner of King and John street in Toronto until
January 21st.
My husband Dave and I went there along with our friends Mark and Janette on Saturday, December
I am SO NOT a morning person but we both got up around 5:30 in order to make sure we were ready
to catch the 8:13 GO bus to the Oshawa GO train station as we'd arranged to meet our friends around
10:00. It had been a restless night. I woke up so many times before I finally dragged myself out of bed
at 5:20. It's impossible not to be in each other's way when we both have to be up at the same time.
And when we're up this early this time of the year it feels like it's NEVER going to get light out. I'm
always glad when it is light by the time we finally get out of the house.
Again it was one of those new double decker buses. But as usual the distance from that corner to the
train station isn't long enough to be bothered with going upstairs. Usually we pay the driver when we
get on the bus but this time he told us to pay at the train station instead. So we did. However, there
were only two tills open and both of them had customers at each one that were taking forever!
Yacketyyacketyyackety...!! UGH! And both of us wanted to use the washroom before we got on the
The train ride seemed to go along quickly enough so soon we were at Union Station. It didn't take us
long to find Mark and Janette. Poor Janette was looking rather frazzled and couldn't wait to leave
Union Station but I had to go to the washroom AGAIN (couldn't really settle at the one back in Oshawa
knowing we had a train to catch) and Dave just HAD to check out the magazine store where he bought
me a packet of cookies because I was hungry. I am not used to eating breakfast so early in the
We decided it to walk up to Light Box since it wasn't far. There were so many homeless people
sleeping on street corners. It was so sad.
And of course, drama ALWAYS has to find US!!! Near the corner of Simcoe and King there was a huge
BANG!!!! A small truck had lost its wheel and left a trail of sparks in its wake. The truck pulled over as
part of its undercarriage burst into flames. The driver got out of the truck.
Janette was terrified and ran across the street toward him screaming at him to get away from his truck.
We were all scared it was going to explode and I was even more scared that she was going to go right

up to him and pull him away getting both of them killed in the process. At least she froze where she
was, still screaming and freaking out.
But the driver seemed to know what he was doing. He calmly just opened his trunk, took out a blanket
and used it to smother the flames. I'd noticed another lady nearby calling 911 on her cell phone and a
fire engine was there within seconds.
This ordeal left Janette feeling even more frazzled and she was wishing we could go for an early lunch
but it was only 10:30 and nothing was really open yet so we all went to a nearby Subway restaurant
together where she could at least get cookies and a coffee and we could sit and rest for a moment
while she showed me her Christmas pictures on her iPod Touch.
Poor Michael, her brother, he's looking so old these days. Janette had kind of a bummer holiday. At
least there was no drama but their Christmas dinner was so puny and pathetic even her father was
disgusted. Margaret, his wife, had only cooked them three Brussels sprouts each and three small
potatoes. At least there was turkey but I don't think there was any stuffing, gravy or cranberry sauce.
And definitely no dessert. She was looking forward to a darned good feast today to make up for such a
piddly little Christmas dinner.
When we arrived at the Light Box, the exhibit didn't even open for another hour so we waited around
for the gift shop to open. When the gift shop finally did open there was nothing there that I was really
interested in buying.
And the background music was that same one song over and over again. I can still hear it in my brain!!
When the exhibit finally opened, we were not allowed to bring our backpacks in so Dave had to take
them to the coat check for us. At least that part was free.
But once we were in there was so much to see.

There were rooms arranged in chronological order full of artifacts from every film Kubrick had ever
directed. Here, Janette and I are touching a monolith from 2001, A Space Odyssey. I got a bit silly
and pretended to be one of the apes in that iconic scene!

Here are a couple more things from the show..

This is the Star Child from 2001, A Space Odyssey and one of the costumes from Eyes Wide Shut.
Children are not allowed at this exhibit because some of these artifacts, such as the ones for A
Clockwork Orange, tend to be sexually graphic. I've never seen that film but they show you the scene
where one of them, a large white ceramic rocking penis, is used. In that room were two white
mannequins of naked women, one with exaggerated nipples and a huge white wig, and the other bent
over backwards in sort of a crab-walk position with a very obvious curly white welcome mat.
Eyes Wide Shut was one of Kubrick's last films. In fact he died before it was finished and it ended up
being produced posthumously, same with Ai: Artificial Intelligence. I've seen only bits and pieces of
Eyes Wide Shut. All I remember is mostly naked people in masks, go figure.
Perhaps one of my favorite parts of the exhibit was a viewing room with clips from all of his films
showing scenes from each one where there are common themes, such as all the chess games, all the
fight scenes, etc.
The rest of the exhibit continued upstairs and Dave and I got tired of waiting for Mark and Janette so
we went up ahead of them. Upstairs was a collection of just ab0out every camera Stanley Kubrick had
ever used along with a huge gallery of just about every photo he'd ever taken and storyboards for his
last two movies. The storyboard for Ai even showed a picture of a carousel. I'm going to have to watch
that movie again to keep an eye out for it. If I remember correctly part of the movie takes place at a
theme park that's been submerged under water along with the rest of New York. Ai came out in early
2001 and contains what I call an unintentional anachronism. Unless they've retroactively edited the
scenery, the World Trade Centre can be seen. Little did they know when they made this film what was
going to happen.
While we continued to wait for Mark and Janette I came across a mini theatre with headphones that

showed a film about the history of Light Box and where it was built. Did you know that 200 years ago
the property on which the Light Box is located used to be the Famine Hospital. Needless to say there
were several moments that caused me to throw my headphones off in a hurry because of the sound of
screaming babies in the background! >:(
When Mark and Janette finally caught up with us they told us they had discovered a whole other room
downstairs with more stuff from 2001! We didn't want to go back downstairs again because by then we
were all getting pretty hungry.
We had been talking about going to Jack Astor's for lunch but it was too far to walk so we were glad
when we found Shoeless Joe's nearby. It was in a basement at the bottom of a fairly long flight of
stairs which was good news for us because who would be stupid enough to insist on lugging a baby
stroller down all those stairs!!!!
However the place has no ORDINARY chairs. We had to sit in a booth because all the chairs are just
that bit too far off the ground and I felt myself slipping. The music was also uncomfortably loud so I
had to wear my earplugs for the first few minutes until I got myself acclimatized to the environment.
When it was time to order, Janette had the fish & chips, Dave had the chicken sandwich and Mark and
I both had the mushroom-truffle burger on a pretzel bun only he had salad with his and I had the sweet
potato fries with mine.
For dessert Dave had the slam-dunk doughnut bites, Janette had the Alpine chocolate cake and Mark
and I both had the peanut butter stacker sundae.
After lunch we found ourselves at this antique shop just down the street. It was very cramped with
many colourful, but very expensive and breakable things. A beautiful green chandelier, adorned with
several glass apples and pears went for over $6000!!! I found myself struggling with visual overload
and feeling very overwhelmed and klutzy so I was glad to get out of there. There was nothing I wanted
to buy there either. And I am always on the lookout for embroidered cloth patches to decorate my coat.
Dave and I still had a mission while we were in the city. Our family Christmas dinner was coming up,
so we promised we'd bring a loaf of bread. Dave had a leg appointment the next day so there was no
way he was going all the way there and walking all the way to the grocery store on Sunday. And you
KNOW how I feel about grocery shopping, so I try to avoid it whenever possible.
We noticed a sign that said Market, so we made our way to the underground shopping concourse
near Roy Thompson Hall. Unfortunately when we found our way downstairs, all the shops were
We remembered a small bakery on the corner. I admit I was skeptical about actually finding anything
because it looked more like a coffee shop/restaurant kind of place. But we were pleasantly surprised
to find loaves of bread for sale. And lucky to choose the penultimate loaf of rye bread. We would have
bought both but the other one had nuts and our nephew Paul is allergic.
Having accomplished our mission we made our way back down to Union Station. We knew we'd just
missed the 3:13 train back to Oshawa. Janette and I needed to use the washroom.
A sudden loud shrieking sound scared the crap out of me and caused me to scream and spew out an
f-bomb! Since I was starting to feel tired to begin with this incident cost me most of my spoons
causing me to mutter angrily..If I catch whoever did that doing it again I'll fing kill 'em! I said whilst
in the cubicle.

After the four of us group hugged and said our goodbyes this stupid woman who walked past me
muttered at me to watch my language. I shot her my iciest glare. How would she like it if someone
snuck up and screamed like that in HER ear!! GRRRR!!
That last half hour waiting for the next train seemed to drag on forever. I was so tired and irritable I felt
lie I just wished I could curl up in a ball and cry!
Finally it was time to make our way to the platform. Dave and I were glad to find an elevator. When we
reached the platform I saw another girl on the other side of the tracks with purple hair like mine. I like
your hair. I said to her. I like yours too. she replied.
We didn't have long to wait for the train and we were glad it wasn't very crowded. I found a peaceful
seat in the corner and zoned out with some music for the journey home. I was in one of those restless
don't-want-this-don't-want-that moods listening to some No Doubt and then some Great Big Sea
before settling on the Asthmatic Kitty compilation. I remember listening to that CD a lot when I was in
the hospital back in 2006. It's one of those rare collections that even though it's a random compilation,
it sounds like a concept album. Or at least that's what my manic mind seemed to think in its quest to
analyze meaning into everything at the time.
We took the Park bus to Oshawa Centre and arrived home at around 6:00. I was so tired that I didn't
bother with supper that night. I was just glad to get into my own bed and read for awhile before turning
out the lights.

Going Through a Shift

I came across the following info in the Empath group on Facebook and had to share it because it
reminds me of what Janette and I have been experiencing lately...

Are you experiencing any of these ascension symptoms? Do you feel something has fundamentally
changed in your life? Do you feel the 'SHIFT' ?
Ascension Symptom...s
1. Feeling as though you are in a pressure cooker or in intense energy; feeling stress. Remember, you
are adjusting to a higher vibration and you will eventually adjust. Old patterns, behaviors and beliefs
are also being pushed to the surface. There is a lot going on inside of you.
2. A feeling of disorientation; not knowing where you are; a loss of a sense of place. You are not in 3D
anymore, as you have moved or in the process of moving into the higher realms.
3. Unusual aches and pains throughout different parts of your body. You are purifying and releasing
blocked energy vibrating at 3D, while you are vibrating in a higher dimension.
4. Waking at night between 2 and 4 a.m. Much is going on in your dream state. You can't be there for
long lengths of time and need a break. This is also the 'cleansing and releasing' hour.
5. Memory loss. A great abundance of short term memory loss and only vague remembrances of your
past. You are in more than one dimension at a time, and going back and forth as part of the transition,
you are experiencing a 'disconnect'. Also, your past is part of the Old, and the Old is forever gone.
Being in the Now is the way of the New World.
6. 'Seeing' and 'hearing' things. You are experiencing different dimensions as you transition, all

according to how sensitive you are and how you are wired.
7. Loss of identity. You try to access the Old you, but it is no longer there. You may not know who you
are looking at in the mirror. You have cleared much of your old patterns and are now embodying much
more light and a simpler, more purified divine you. All is in order, You are okay.
8. Feeling 'out of body'. You may feel as though someone is talking, but it is not you. This is our natural
defence mechanism of survival when we are under acute stress or feeling traumatized or out of control.
Your body is going through a lot and you may not want to be in it. My ascension guide told me that this
was a way of easing the transition process, and that I did not need to experience what my body was
going through. This only lasted a short time. It passes.
9. Periods of deep sleeping. You are resting from all the acclimating and are integrating, as well as
building up for the next phase.
10. Heightened sensitivities to your surroundings. Crowds, noise, foods, TV, other human voices and
various other stimulations are barely tolerable. You also overwhelm very easily and become easily
overstimulated. You are tuning up. Know that this will eventually pass.
11. You don't feel like doing anything. You are in a rest period, 'rebooting'. Your body knows what it
needs. In addition, when you begin reaching the higher realms, 'doing' and 'making things happen'
becomes obsolete as the New energies support the feminine of basking, receiving, creating, self-care
and nurturing. Ask the Universe to 'bring' you what you want while you are enjoying yourself and
having fun.
12. An intolerance for lower vibrational things of the 3D, reflected in conversations, attitudes, societal
structures, healing modalities, etc. They literally make you feel 'sick' inside. You are in a higher
vibration and your energies are no longer in alignment. You are being 'pushed, to move forward; to 'be'
and create the New.
13. A loss of desire for food. Your body is adjusting to a new, higher state of being. Also, part of you
does not want to be here anymore in the Old.
14. A sudden disappearance of friends, activities, habits, jobs and residences. You are evolving beyond
what you used to be, and these people and surroundings no longer match your vibration. The New will
soon arrive and feel so-o-o-o much better.
15. You absolutely cannot do certain things anymore. When you try to do your usual routine and
activities, it feels downright awful. You are evolving beyond what you used to be, and these people and
surroundings no longer match your vibration. The New will soon arrive and feel so-o-o-o much better.
16. Days of extreme fatigue. Your body is losing density and going through intense restructuring.
17. A need to eat often along with what feels like attacks of low blood sugar. Weight gain, especially in
the abdominal area. A craving for protein. You are requiring an enormous amount of fuel for this
ascension process. Weight gain with an inability to loose it no matter what you do is one of the most
typical experiences. Trust that your body knows what it is doing.
18. Experiencing emotional ups and downs; weeping. Our emotions are our outlet for release, and we
are releasing a lot.
19. A wanting to go Home, as if everything is over and you don't belong here anymore. We are
returning to Source. Everything is over, but many of us are staying to experience and create the New
World. Also, our old plans for coming have been completed.
20. Feeling you are going insane, or must be developing a mental illness of some sort. You are rapidly
experiencing several dimensions and greatly opening. Much is available to you now. You are just not

used to it. Your awareness has been heightened and your barriers are gone. This will pass and you will
eventually feel very at Home like you have never felt before, as Home is now here.
21. Anxiety and panic. Your ego is losing much of itself and is afraid. Your system is also on overload.
Things are happening to you that you may not understand. You are also losing behaviour patterns of a
lower vibration that you developed for survival in 3D. This may make you feel vulnerable and
powerless. These patterns and behaviours you are losing are not needed in the higher realms. This will
pass and you will eventually feel so much love, safety and unity. Just wait.
22. Depression. The outer world may not be in alignment with the New, higher vibrational you. It
doesn't feel so good out there. You are also releasing lower, darker energies and you are 'seeing' through
them. Hang in there.
23. Vivid, wild and sometimes violent dreams. You are releasing many, many lifetimes of lower
vibrational energy. Many are now reporting that they are experiencing beautiful dreams. Your dream
state will eventually improve and you will enjoy it again. Some experience this releasing while awake.
My mother commented one day that she believed I was having nightmares in the daytime.
24. Night sweats and hot flashes. Your body is 'heating' up as it burns off residue.
25. Your plans suddenly change in mid-stream and go in a completely different direction. Your soul is
balancing out your energy. It usually feels great in this new direction, as your soul knows more than
you do. It is breaking your 'rut' choices and vibration.
26. You have created a situation that seems like your worst nightmare, with many 'worst nightmare'
aspects to it. Your soul is guiding you into 'stretching' into aspects of yourself where you were lacking,
or into 'toning down' aspects where you had an overabundance. Your energy is just balancing itself.
Finding your way to peace through this situation is the test you have set up for yourself. This is your
journey, and your soul would not have set it up if you weren't ready. You are the one who finds your
way out and you will. Looking back, you will have gratitude for the experience and be a different
Source :
From the author :: "Know that although our evolutionary process is rapidly accelerating, along with the
New higher energies, we are all experiencing these changes in our own way and in our own time,
according to who we are and according to our coding and plan before birth.
In addition, generally speaking, our ascension process relates to how we each run our own individual
energy, and what our beliefs and experiences are. In other words, how we are wired and how we
These things can be changed and will also change automatically as we clear and embody more light
within ourselves
It is no wonder we have been experiencing a feeling of deja-vu all over again....!!! 2015 has GOT to be
the start of a new season!!!

Spoons Theory
Over the years you may have heard me refer to this concept and talk about being close to running out
of spoons by the end of the day. Here is an excellent link that explains this idea more clearly:

Happy New Year

Dave and I ended up spending a quiet New Year's Eve at home as usual. GO figure. We were invited

to a party and then at the last minute the party was canceled because the people hosting it got invited
to another party at the last minute! Typical of the kind of luck we've had in 2014! GRRRR!!! Just as
well. It may have been a blessing in disguise because there was a bitterly cold wind out there and we
wouldn't have enjoyed standing out there freezing while waiting for the bus.
So we just sat at home eating onion rings with Ranch dressing while we watched the ball drop at
Times Square on TV and chatted on the phone with Mark and Janette. They had the TV on in her
kitchen and there was about a 2 or 3 second delay between the Toronto and Oshawa broadcasts of
City TV so I didn't see what they were talking about until a moment after it happened.
Janette had been invited to wedding on New Year's Eve but I don't blame her for turning down the
invitation. I know how she feels. Weddings are just ripe for drama and uncomfortable small talk. The
last thing you want to do is answer questions about your love life and when is it your turn when it feels
like nothing has been happening in your own life for years!!
And Janette has given Mark an ultimatum. If he hasn't found a job and moved out of his mother's
house by the end of 2015, it's over!
I forget where it was I heard this but someone was talking about asking yourself if there's anything
different in your life from the previous year. To be honest I can't think of anything. I've been on some
amazing trips and seen some wonderful things, but nothing in my life has really changed. The only
thing different about me from last year is the two-headed clown tattoo on my left shoulder. More about
that later.
We go through phases in life that are altered by various events or things we discover along the way.
There are people and things God uses in our lives as catalysts. Imagine how different our lives would
have turned out if we didn't meet this person or that or buy a certain thing or go somewhere.
I went to college in September of 1983. I failed miserably. But it wasn't a total loss. There was a
person standing next to me in line who asked if I wanted to share a locker. That person was Janette.
She turned out to be my best friend for over 30 years and she is like a sister to me.
I went off to Prince Edward Island in October of 1985. I was kicked out a month later. I'll spare you the
gory details. It's a chapter of my life I prefer not to think about. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't
have stayed in touch with Will Hobbs. But this chapter in life is proof that sexual desire makes people
I visited him in Calgary in the summer of 1987 and it was a disaster. But it was where I bought my 12string guitar which helped me survive some ridiculous times in the future. Stay tuned.
I believe it was sometime in the late 80's or early 90's I came across an advertisement in my
landlady's TV guide for the collection of Franklin Mint carousel figurines from William Manns and
Marianne Stevens' book Painted Ponies. I've loved carousels all my life and I just KNEW I HAD to
have them so I sent away for them.
Who knew at the time that there had been a book about carousels, Fred Fried's Pictorial History that
came out in 1964, the year I was BORN!!! And that the National Carousel Association was founded in
1983!! I was only 8 or 9 years old all the time. Imagine if I'd already known back then that this
wonderful world already existed.
Well, those figurines were my doorway into it! As much as the figurines themselves, I looked forward
to the pieces of literature that came with each one about each of master carvers who created the
original piece that each miniature was based on. Soon names like Illions, Dentzel, Muller and Parker

were like old friends to me!

The following summer, that was how I met my friend Lorraine for the first time. She was selling her art
at Lindsay Homecoming Weekend and I recognized the horse in one of her prints. OMG! It's the
Illions American Beauty Rose Horse. It wasn't long after that I was invited to her house where she
showed me her copy of Painted Ponies and mentioned that they were available at the Nitty Gritty
antique store in Toronto.
So sooner or later I went there with Janette and bought a copy. It was quite an expensive book,
around $70 at the time but worth every penny. I could just kick myself when I found out later that it was
available at the World's Biggest Book Store for around $45! But one thing led to another as the book
contained a subscription form to Carousel News & Trader Magazine, which I've subscribed to for the
next 20+ years ever since...
And this also led me to joining the National Carousel Association and going to my first convention in
1991. That was where I met Richard Concepcion, another good friend who has also changed my life.
He still has his cable TV show Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends and for the next two years or so I would
send him my Life With Louella stories to use on his show. Creating cartoons for his show helped me
keep my sanity during those years I lived in Lindsay, working at Victoria Laundry.
It was July 17th of 1993 when Janette's mum passed away after losing her battle with cancer. Doors
everywhere were closing all around us, but there was a spark that ignited when Jan Walton's friend
Doug suggested I try to do a children's TV show of my own.
This lead me to doing research and discovering KIDEO. They inspired me to write a whole bunch of
new songs and Janette and I took guitar lessons together. Even though I already knew how to play I
knew it was important to be there for Janette to help her learn and many of our spare moments were
spent practicing music together.
It was the following summer when events culminated to us making the decision to pull up stakes and
move to Toronto together! It was the morning we had our music video shoot at the Roseneath
My front door got stuck and when I tried to unlock it I couldn't get it open. And the police just told us to
break in through my own window. It was disgustingly easy. In fact it looked like someone else might
have been caught during a previous failed attempt because there was an L-shaped rip in the screen of
my kitchen window and a conveniently-located wooden crate just beneath the window. We tore the
screen and I helped boost Janette through the window. There was stuff on the table inside so I tol her
just to throw it out the window. Once she was inside she could push the door and let me in.
It was only moments after that endeavour we both looked at each other and exclaimed LET'S MOVE
I will spare you the gory details of our early days, leading to months, in the Big Smoke. All I can say is
that it felt like life was becoming one great big I-told-you-so. Before we moved, people we knew in
Lindsay were freaking out and asking the following stupid question: How are you going to survive in
Toronto without a job?
Well, you KNOW it's time to move on when YOUR answer to that question is How am I going to
survive HERE much longer with the one I've GOT!!? So it was out of the frying pan and into the fire
for at least a season and by Christmas even the women we met in our Bible study group in Toronto
were telling us we might as well admit defeat, throw in the towel and move back to Lindsay!
But we eventually did find jobs and survive the years that followed.

And we found men in our lives. One of my prayers was for us to find them both at the same time,
probably friends with each other, so nobody would be left out.
We had already known Mark when he was dating Dawn Durrant. They were two of the first friends we
made in Toronto.
But Mark and Dawn had just broken up in the spring of 1997. He ended up with Janette and I ended
up with his friend, whom I will just refer to as Butthead in case he tries to Google himself.
Mark and Janette are still together. At least for now.
The less said about Butthead, the better. At least my life didn't stay ruined.
But in the months that followed that breakup, I lived my life with a vengeance, doing all the things I
wouldn't have been able to do if Butthead had still been part of my life.
In this time I made new friends and I was an extra in Detroit Rock City. I had parties at my place
nearly every month, went to 1050 Chum Oldies dances.
But most important of all, I got back into my music, discovered Art Zone recording studios and made
my first and only CD.
It was through that I ended up meeting Dave. It is a story I've often told many times. We saw each
other on Speaker's Corner in late February/early March of 2001 and he was one of only two people to
order a copy of the CD I was promoting.
At the time there were a few different men who seemed to be interested in me and I actually did have
a fling with one of them, to put it mildly, but from the time Dave ordered that CD until that fall we
corresponded regularly sending each other tapes and I did indeed find him a kindred spirit.
Our correspondence helped me keep my sanity through one of the most difficult times of my life. I was
being evicted from my basement apartment at Ruth's and it was shortly after I moved into my new
apartment at Yonge and St. Claire, above the falofel place when we finally met in person and started
He took the train in from Oshawa and we went to see Mandy Patinken in concert at the Hummingbird
(formerly the O'Keefe and now the Sony Centre) and the rest was history. We must have spent nearly
every waking moment when I was home on the phone and every weekend together, either at his place
or mine. We just KNEW that first night we were meant to be together.
So in July of 2002, we were wed at the little church near my parents' place.
This was a season that was totally cram-packed with changes. If moving to one apartment to another
while I still lived in Toronto weren't enough, soon there was getting married and moving to Oshawa.
Little did I know that on our wedding day it would be the last day I'd see my dad. Dave and I were
married on July 13th of 2002. My dad passed away on July 17th. (Does that day ring a bell?) Right in
the middle of our honeymoon. It happened when we were at the Allan Herschell museum.
For the fist six months of my marriage I commuted back and forth between Oshawa and Toronto while
I kept my job.
But commuting six days a week was taking its toll on my health. The Go train during rush hour is a

festering cesspool of germs and I must have caught every bug that went around. My boss was also
getting more and more verbally abusive. She always had been but it had been getting worse for the
last year, especially since my eviction notice.
Little did I know while I stood at the Instant Teller getting my Go pass money out of the bank on
January 29th of 2003 that it would be my last day. You've heard this story before. I'll spare the gory
My life was changed yet again in the summer of 2004 when I found out what Asperger's Syndrome
was and more accurately that I have it!
Little did I know that in November of 2006 I would be dealt another drastic blow during my first Geneva
Autism Symposium. I was over the moon over record sales! It was the best I've ever done! But the last
day of that year's Symposium was the first day of the Baby & Toddler Expo so there were wall-to-wall
screamers surrounding me on the way out. Getting to and from the Symposium meant commuting
between Toronto and Oshawa again for three consecutive days. At least I had a ride home on the last
But in the midst f all that activity I battled the worst headache I'd ever had in my life and in the days to
follow my behaviour became even more bizarre. It turned out I was bipolar and having my first (and
hopefully LAST) manic episode for which I spent two weeks in the hospital. I hope this NEVER
happens to me again!!
I'd like to skip ahead to what's happening NOW, after two surgeries and my mom's death.
Janette and I are both feeling a sense of deja-vu all over again. Both of us feel like we've been
spinning our wheels and we've had to endure a series of doors being slammed in our faces once
That being said, she has a secret up her sleeve that I'm not supposed to share until it shows signs of
actually coming to fruition!!

Cover Story
Let the Bells Ring and the Banners Fly!!! Joey's project is officially FINISHED!!!

I decided for the last panel that I would create a Grande Finale or Curtain Call to showcase the
entire cast of characters. I tried to do all the black and white frame designs first and then all the
coloured backgrounds before I did each animal starting with all the dogs first, then the cats and then
the horses.
It's going to be interesting to see the entire wall-hanging fully assembled with all the panels sewn in

This project has taken me over three years to complete. It would have been done much sooner if I
hadn't allowed myself to be distracted by other projects, but if it had been done sooner there wouldn't
have been pictures of the cats, as she didn't get Joey and Tigger until at least a year ago.
Before that I did a similar project for Jean. That took me about two years:

Each panel has taken me at least a week or two once I've really decided to push myself and devote
my time to working exclusively on the last ones.
Now I can finish the rest of my projects that have been waiting on the back-burner!

My Future Ordained Minister Chronicles

I will start this article by sharing with you the following letter I wrote to CBC's show Tapestry:
Dear Tapestry,

Your show today about female ordained ministers was amazing!!! This may sound crazy
but for about the past month or so I have been seriously entertaining the thought of
becoming one myself, and, like many of the women mentioned on the show, I am also
pretty unconventional.
In fact I probably appear to be about as un-minister-like as they come, an autistic BBW
with purple hair and tattoos. Ive had purple hair for over two years now and have no
intention of going back to my natural dark brown any time soon. My tattoos punctuate
various chapters in my life. Each one has a story.
My absolute favorite thing to do is ride merry-go-rounds!!! In fact I have been a member
of the National Carousel Association for most of my adult life and every September a
bunch of us gather in different parts of the USA for our annual convention where we do

just that!!
Speaking before a large congregation every week is not as important to me as the idea
of hosting small, intimate prayer and support groups and providing counseling to those in
need. Being on the autism spectrum, I no longer attend church services because of
painful sensory issues with certain noises. But I like the idea of being able to perform
wedding and baptism services for those who want them and are ready.
Only two of my best friends and a handful of people who regularly read my Planet
Nilknarf online newsletter know my secret idea of becoming an ordained minister and
now so do you. It costs somewhere between $60 and over $100 to apply for ordination
depending on what an applicant plans on doing , therefore, I have been holding off on
applying for my ordination until my Visa bill is finally paid off. My husband doesnt even
know yet!!
I love the idea of this calendar mentioned on todays show.
Sincerely, Margaret Franklin
The idea came to me over a month ago. I was thinking about the episode of Big Bang theory where
Howard Wallowitz and Bernadette got married and they had to do so on short notice because Howard
was planning on travelling into outer space. In the end all their friends were ordained online as
ministers so they could perform the ceremony together on the roof of their building. It got me thinking;
just how easy is it to become an ordained minister?
And WHY would I want to do it?
Well, I haven't been to a church service in years. Both Janette and I have been complaining about the
lack of understanding we have experienced among our fellow Christians and that our sensory issues
have made church difficult for us. I've sort of half joked that maybe we should start our OWN church.
Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all. I don't need a big congregation. Just a small prayer/support
group. And I'd like to be able to provide counseling, not to mention offer wedding and baptism
While I've been entertaining these thoughts, an episode of Ugly Betty showed a wedding that took
place at the spur-of-the-moment during a space-themed fashion photography session. Daniel Meade
married his terminally-ill girlfriend and the service was performed by a model who was dressed like an
alien. She just happened to be an ordained minister.
It felt like even further confirmation on today's episode of Mary Hinds' Tapestry on CBC radio when
she was interviewing a woman who was an ordained minister. She started by telling the story of
having her picture taking and the photographer was complaining that she looked too much like
Jennifer Anniston.
This got her thinking; What is an ordained minister supposed to look like? Up until then all the
ministers at her church had all been men. Older, mostly bald, stern-looking men.
So she managed to get in touch with other female ministers and was pleasantly surprised to discover
that most of us don't fit the standard mold. In fact many female ministers have hobbies and interests
that would surprise most people.
The results to this discussion led to the making of a CALENDAR with pictures of these women just
being themselves doing what they enjoy doing in their spare time.
More information about this calendar and the show can be found here:

Links Worth Sharing

In a previous issue of Planet Nilknarf I believe I've probably mentioned the importance of providing
socks for homeless people. Here's something else they need:
There must be at least half a dozen boxes of OB tampons in my medicine cabinet left over from youknow-when. I suppose I'm past the point of being aft=raid of tempting fate if I gave them away.
The Carousel of Friendship, when and if it ever gets built and open to the public, will have Food Bank
Freebie Fridays and Sock-It-To Me Saturdays but on either day whoever donates a box or package of
feminine hygiene products will get FIVE free ride tickets! :)
And if you think your job sucks, keep this in mind...
It could be even worse! You could have MY former boss!! Only SHE could think there's a WRONG way
to use a rectal thermometer!!
Gotta love that song at the end! Sounds kind of like Boy George on helium!

All the blocks on Jan and Fede's quilt are finished! The one on the right is my original square from the
Positive Energy quilt. They're not really that different, are they?

Beetlebomb's Book Nook

This month's most excellent literary pick is Where I Belong by Great Big Sea front-man, Alan Doyle. It
is a fascinating biography of his life growing up on the island of Petty Harbor, Newfoundland. The
island was literally divided in half by a river where the Catholic people lived on one side of the bridge
and the Protestants lived on the other. Alan shares fascinating stories from his childhood about the
local merchants, people in his neighbourhood, how he used to earn money when he was a kid and
Music has always been a part of his life and in his culture kitchen parties were a popular form of
entertainment in many households. Alan got his start in several different bands.
Alan talks about growing up poor and what a novelty it was when his family first got indoor plumbing.
All the kids crowded to share the bathroom at once.
One of his most memorable part-time jobs was harvesting for cod tongues. He actually includes
pictures to show you how it's done.
He also wanted to share his mother's homemade bread recipe but she doesn't specifically have one
because she has never really known how to bake one single loaf. Two or three times a week she
would bake eight loaves of bread for the entire family consisting of two-bowling-ball sized chunks of
dough per pan. She shares her method in these pages.
All in all Where I Belong is an amazing read from start to finish! I did not want to put it down!!

Carousel of the Month

Greenport, New York, Northrup-Grumman Park, 1920 Herschell Spillman
This is a quaint example of the County Fair style of carousel art, proudly displayed in a beautiful glass
building that overlooks the waterfront. It reminds me of both the carousel Janette and I visited in
Guelph last summer and the one at the Allan Herschell museum in North Tonawanda New York
because it contains a variety of horses from different time periods, everything from small, inner-row
track machine horses that have been modified for the jumping mechanism to aluminum replacement
horses and just about everything in between including several of my personal favorites, the Trojan
This was the first official carousel on our itinerary for last year's convention, an evening destination
after a lovely dinner at Claudio's restaurant, just a short distance away. The nice thing about visiting a
carousel in the evening is seeing how magical it looks all lit up at night. The sun had not yet begun to
set when I took this picture, however, the one I took later that evening was blurry and ended up being

One of my favorite things about the Greenport carousel was the wonderful display of kids' art inside
the building....

I especially like the one on the left because of how it shows the sailboats on the lake in the
background and the window frames of the glass building.

I would like to thank Barbara Mangels for this amazing picture she took of me and Janette on the
Greenport carousel.

Closing Notes
Sorry I am late this month. As if it makes much difference anyway. Readership has been at an all-time
low. Like it's been said, the Internet can be a lonely place when you're not viral. Oh well, better to be
NOT viral than to be TROLLED!!!
Anyway, around the time of the month when I usually release these issues, I was otherwise occupied

this month. Janette and I have experienced some major drama. On Tuesday, January 20th, her father
passed away. The memorial service won't be until the spring. Meanwhile, we took off to Niagara Falls.
You can read all about it here:
She is now working part-time at her job, only 3 days a week and I just started school last week. We
both feel like we're still recovering from everything that has happened lately and I am having to adjust
to my new routine. I am SO NOT a morning person. This has been my first day that I haven't had to
drop everything and take a nap!!!
I have just started a course at A.E Lovell called Be Your Own Boss. So far most of us have begun to
wonder what we've gotten ourselves into!!!!!

See You Next Month!!!