YOU'LL DIE LAUGHING

Written By
Emma Morley

1

SCENE ONE: INT. RESTAURANT KITCHEN - NIGHT
ESTABLISHING SHOT
We are inside a bustling restaurant kitchen. There are four
chefs busy at their stations with one of the four, the
pastry chef, giving orders in a loud and obnoxious voice. In
a dark corner we see the Post Wash boy at his station.
PASTRY CHEF
(Shouting with a red
face)
WHERE ARE MY PANS?! WHERE ARE MY
PANS?!
CLOSE UP CAMERA SHOT OF POT WASH
POT WASH
(Very flustered)
HERE CHEF
MID CAMERA SHOT
The Pot Wash hurries to carry the pans to the Pastry station
but he trips over his own feet and drops them all over the
floor.
PASTRY CHEF
You clumsy oaf! You are a clown!
Pick them up! When will you learn?!
Fucking useless! Your feet are too
big. Like a Clown.
Pot Wash picks up pans and places them on the worktop. He
sighs heavily and Camera pans to follow him slowly walk back
to the sink.
MEDIUM SHOT - CHEFS
Chefs are shaking their heads and whispering, obviously
about the Pot Wash.
CLOSE UP shot of Pot Wash wiping sweat from his brow and
tears from his eyes.

SCENE TWO: INT. RESTAURANT KITCHEN - THE NEXT DAY
The chefs are preparing service for the evening. Pots are
bubbling away in the background. The Pot Wash has not
started work yet and the chefs are discussing him.

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EYE LEVEL - CHEFS
BUTCHER
He is useless. A disaster waiting
to happen.
PASTRY CHEF 2
I don't know why you don't just get
rid of him. Clown. He belongs in
the circus.
CUT TO KITCHEN DOOR
Pot Wash walks in and looks up at the other chefs who
continue to talk as if he is not there. He hears them
talking about him.
PASTRY CHEF
(in the background)
Someone needs to show that clown a
lesson. He'll get what's coming to
him sooner or later.
CHEFS LAUGH TOGETHER
The Pot Wash boy fastens his apron and walks back towards
the worktops to collect the washing up.
CUT TO BUBBLING PANS
CUT TO POT WASH
CUT TO BUBBLING PANS AND KNIVES
CUT TO POT WASH
As pans begin to boil over and fat in the pans starts to
smoke, the anger visibly overcomes the Pot Wash. The chefs
continue to laugh and they begin to heckle the Pot Wash.
CUT TO BUBBLING PANS
CUT BACK TO POT WASH
CUT TO CHEFS
CUT TO ZOOM BUBBLING PANS
CUT BACK TO ZOOM OF POT WASH
CUT TO CHEFS LAUGHING
POT WASH
(Shouting)
(MORE)

3
POT WASH (CONT'D)
Why don't you just leave me alone!
Just as the Pot Wash explodes with anger, the bubbling pan
boils over, the pan of fat catches fire and the overhead
rack of utensils slowly falls down.
MONTAGE OF PANS, POT WASH, UTENSILS
CLOSE UP OF CHEFS WHO ARE ALL STUNNED
Smoke overcomes the room and nothing can be seen. Everything
is quiet.
LOW ANGLE - POT WASH
Very slowly we see the outline of the Pot Wash as he stands
up and emerges from the smoke.
EXTREME CLOSE UP OF THE POT WASH BOY'S EYES
SCENE THREE: THE CLOWN'S REVENGE
SLOW ZOOM OUT OF POT WASH BOY'S FACE
We can see that the Pot Wash boy's face has been badly
burned and disfigured from the accident and he now resembles
a clown.
CLOSE UP OF CHEFS
Chefs are stunned into silence when they realise what has
happened. They begin to look around for a way to escape.
LOW ANGLE - CLOWN - DUTCH TILT
Clown slowly tilts his head to one side and smiles. His face
tears a bit more with every movement of his mouth, which has
been cut by a knife during the accident.
MONTAGE OF ATTACK
Clown attacks the chefs, one by one, each with an implement
they use in their job. The Clown kills his victims, leaving
the Pastry Chef until last.
LOW ANGLE - CLOWN - DUTCH TILT
CLOWN
Now... Your turn
Clown attacks Pastry Chef by taking his treasured pastry
brush from his clutched hand and stabs him in both eyes. He
then grabs the piping bag and pipes cream into each of his
eye sockets before stabbing him in the torso with a large

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serrated knife.
SLOW PITCH FROM PASTRY CHEF TO CEILING
As the Pastry Chef loses consciousness, the camera pans to
the ceiling where the lights are swinging from the ceiling.
We hear the Clown laughing and giggline maniacally to
himself.
CLOWN
Who's laughing now?
SLOW ZOOM IN TO PASTRY CHEF'S FACE
We see the Clown finishing off painting over the Pastry
Chef's mouth using the pastry brush with his own blood.
POV - PASTRY CHEF - DUTCH TILT
We see the Clown walk off slowly laughing to himself, from
the Pastry Chef's point of view.
CLOWN
Who's laughing now?

END

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