FILM Rory Breaker: If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya.

If you bend the truth or I think you're bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya. --Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels-+ + + + + Maximus: At my signal, unleash hell. --Gladiator-+ + + + + Seth Gecko: Let me explain the house rules. Follow the rules, we'll get along like a house on fire. Rule number one: No noise, no questions. You make a noise... [holds up gun] Mr. .44 makes a noise. You ask a question, Mr. 44 answers it. --From Dusk Till Dawn-+ + + + + Tyler Durden: You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. --Fight Club-+ + + + + Sgt. Welsh: If I should never find you in this life, let me feel the lack. One glance from your eyes, and my life will be yours. --The Thin Red Line-+ + + + + Verbal Kint: Keaton once said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze. --The Usual Suspects-+ + + + + Verbal Kint: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. --The Usual Suspects-+ + + + + Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negro born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world. H.I.: Someone oughta sell tickets. Glen: Sure, I'd buy one. --Raising Arizona-+ + + + + Jimmie: Now let me ask you a question, Jules. When you drove in here, did you notice a sign out in front that said, "Dead nigger storage"? Jules: Jimmie... Jimmie: Answer the question! Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead nigger storage"? Jules: Naw man, I didn't. Jimmie: You know why you didn't see that sign? Jules: Why? Jimmie: 'Cause storin' dead niggers ain't my fuckin' business! --Pulp Fiction-+ + + + + Buddy Ackerman: And now try to follow me, because I'm gonna be moving in a kind of circular motion, so if you pay attention, there will be a point! --Swimming with Sharks-+ + + + + Buddy Ackerman: You're happy. I hate that!

--Swimming with Sharks-+ + + + + Travis Bickle: You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? Huh? Ok. --Taxi Driver-+ + + + + Jack Vincennes: Why in the world do you wanna go digging any deeper into the Nite Owl killings, Lieutenant? Ed Exley: Rollo Tomasi. Jack Vincennes: Is there more to that or am I supposed to guess? --L.A. Confidential-+ + + + + Vincent Hanna: You know, we are sitting here like a couple of regular fellows and if I have to go out there and put you down, I'll tell you, I won't like it. But if it's between you and some poor bastard whose wife you're gonna turn into a widow, buddy, you are going down. Neil McCauley: There is a flip side to this coin. What if you do get me boxed in and I will have to put you down? Cause no matter what, you will not get in my way. We've been face to face, yeah. But I will not hesitate, not for a second. --Heat-+ + + + + BBC Voiceover: We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating. --Monty Python's Flying Circus-+ + + + + Hospital Administrator: And what are you doing this morning? Doctor: It's a birth. Hospital Administrator: Ah! And what sort of thing is that? 2nd Doctor: Well, that's where we take a new baby out of a lady's tummy. Hospital Administrator: Wonderful what we can do nowdays! --Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life-+ + + + + Father: The mill's closed. There's no more work. We're destitute. Children: Ohhhhh. Father: I'm afraid I have no choice but to sell you all for medical experiments. --Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life-+ + + + + Priest at boarding school: Oh, Lord. You're so BIG. So awfully huge. We're all really impressed down here, I can tell you! --Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life-+ + + + + God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"... --Monty Python And The Holy Grail-+ + + + + [The King gestures to the window.] King of Swamp Castle: Some day, lad, all this will be yours. Prince Herbert: What, the curtains? --Monty Python And The Holy Grail-+ + + + + Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us? Attendee: Brought peace? Reg: Oh, peace -- shut up! There is not one of us who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all. Dissenter: Uh, well, one.

Reg: Oh, yeah, yeah, there's one. But otherwise, we're solid. --Monty Python's Life Of Brian-+ + + + + {Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink} Man: Evening, squire! Man with hat: Good evening. Man: Is your wife a goer? Eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge! Know what I mean? Say no more! Man with hat: I-I...I beg your pardon? Man: Your...your wife. Does she go,eh? Does she go, eh? Eh? Man with hat: Huh, sometimes she has to go, yes. Man: I bet she does! I bet she does! Say no more! Say no more! Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge! Man with hat: I'm afraid I don't quite follow you... Man: Oh, "follow me, follow me"? That's good, that's very good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat! Man with hat: Are...are you selling something? Man: "Selling, selling"...very good indeed! You're wicked, you are, eh? Wicked, eh? Ho-ho-ho! Whoa! Wicked! Say no more! Man with hat: Huhuh? Man: Whoa! So your wife's interested sport? Eh? Man with hat: Ah, she likes sport, yes. Man: I bet she does! I bet she does! Man with hat: As a matter of fact, she's very fond of cricket. Man: She likes "games", eh? Likes "games"? Knew she would, she's been around a bit, eh? She's been around? Man with hat: Well, she has travelled, yes. She's from Glendale. Man: Say no more! Glendale, squire? Say no more! Say no more! Say no more! Say no more! Man with hat: Well... Man: Whoa! Is your Glendale wife interested Eh? Eh? Eh? Man with hat: Photography? Man: "Photographs, eh?" he asked him knowingly! Man with hat: Photography? Man: Snap, snap, grin, grin, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more! Man with hat: Sort snaps, eh? Man: They could be, they could be taken on holiday, you know! Swimming costumes, know, "candid" photography? Man with hat: No, we don't have a camera! Man: Ah. Still, whoahaah! Eh? Whoahaah! Eh? Whoahaah! Eh? Whoahaahaha! Huhuh! Man with hat: Look, are you insinuating something? Man: Oh, no, no, no...yes! Man with hat: Well? Man: Why, I mean, you're a man of the world, squire, you''ve been around, you know? Man with hat: What do you mean? Man: Well, I mean, like, you' know,'ve done it, you've slept...with a lady? Man with hat: Yes. Man: What's it like? --Monty Python Live At The Hollywood Bowl-+ + + + + {Four Yorkshiremen} Eric Idle: Very passable, isn't it? Very passable. All: Right, all right. Graham Chapman: Good glass of Chateau de Chasselet, ain't just that, sire? Terry Jones: Oh, you're right there, Obadiah.

Graham Chapman: Right. Eric Idle: Who would have thought, thirty years ago, we'd all be sitting here drinking Chateau de Chaselet, eh? All: Aye, aye. Michael Palin: Them days we were glad to have the price of a cup of tea. Graham Chapman: Right! A cup of COLD tea! Michael Palin: Right! Eric Idle: Without milk or sugar! Terry Jones: OR tea! Michael Palin: In a cracked cup and all. Eric Idle: Oh, we never used to have a cup! We used to have to drink out of a rolled-up newspaper! Graham Chapman: The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth. Terry Jones: But you know, we were happy in those days, although we were poor. Michael Palin: BECAUSE we were poor! Terry Jones: Right! Michael Palin: My old dad used to say to me: "Money doesn't bring you happiness, son!" Eric Idle: He was right! Michael Palin: Right! Eric Idle: I was happier then and I had NOTHING! We used to live in this tiny old tumbled-down house with great big holes in the roof. Graham Chapman: House! You were lucky to live in a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING. Terry Jones: You were lucky to have a ROOM! We used to have to live in the corridor! Michael Palin: Oh, we used to DREAM of living in a corridor! Would have been a palace to us! We used to live in an old watertank on a rubbish tip. We'd all woke up every morning by having a load of rotten fish dumped all over us! House, huh! Eric Idle: Well, when I say a house, it was just a hole in the ground, covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us! Graham Chapman: We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go and live in a lake! Terry Jones: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were 150 of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road! Michael Palin: A cardboard box? Terry Jones: Aye! Michael Palin: You were lucky! We lived for three months in a rolled-up newspaper in a septic tank! We used to have to get up every morning, at six o'clock and clean the newspaper, go to work down the mill, fourteen hours a day, week in, week out, for six pence a week, and when we got home, our dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt! Graham Chapman: Luxury! We used to have to get up out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, work twenty hours a day at mill, for two pence a month, come home, and dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY! Terry Jones: Well, of course, we had it tough! We used to have to get up out of the shoebox in the middle of the night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues! We had to eat half a handful of freezing cold gravel, work twenty-four hours a day at mill for four pence every six years, and when we got home, our dad would slice us in two with a breadknife! Eric Idle: Right! I had to get up in the morning, at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill and pay millowner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves, singing Hallelujah! Michael Palin: Aah. And you trying to tell the young people of today that, and they won't believe you!

All: No, no they won't! --Monty Python Live At The Hollywood Bowl-+ + + + + Marty: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name. David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint. Marty: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins? David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes. Marty: What was he the saint of? David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear. --This Is Spinal Tap-+ + + + + [Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano] Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty. Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of Marty DiBergi: What do you call this? Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump." --This Is Spinal Tap-+ + + + + [Reading a review of Spinal Tap's latest album] Marty DiBergi: "This pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms is enough to prompt the question, `What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?'" --This Is Spinal Tap-+ + + + + David St. Hubbins: It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. --This Is Spinal Tap-+ + + + + Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten? Nigel Tufnel: Exactly. Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder? Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where? Marty DiBergi: I don't know. Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do? Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven. Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder. Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder? Nigel Tufnel: [Pause] These go to eleven. --This Is Spinal Tap-+ + + + + [Reading a review of the album "Shark Sandwich"] Marty DiBergi: Two words: shit sandwich. --This Is Spinal Tap-+ + + + + Alvy: Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're leftwing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here. --Annie Hall-+ + + + +

[After sex with Annie.] Alvy: That was the most fun I've ever had without laughing. --Annie Hall-+ + + + + [In California.] Annie: It's so clean out here! Alvy: That's because they don't throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows. --Annie Hall-+ + + + + Alvy: They did not take me in the Army. I was, um, interestingly enough, I was, I was 4-P. Yes. In the, in the event of war, I'm a hostage. --Annie Hall-+ + + + + Carol Lipton: I promised I'd go with you to a hockey game, and you promised you'd sit through an entire opera. Larry Lipton: I know, I already bought earplugs. --Manhattan Murder Mystery-+ + + + + Hotel night clerk: You are with police? Larry Lipton: Yes, I'm a detective. They lowered the height requirement. --Manhattan Murder Mystery-+ + + + + Larry Lipton: Claustrophia and a dead body -- this is a neurotic's jackpot! --Manhattan Murder Mystery-+ + + + + [Hands super a one-dollar tip] Larry Lipton: What are you making a face for? He's the father of our country. --Manhattan Murder Mystery-+ + + + + Max: Who is the boss between you and mommy? Lenny Weinrib: Who is the boss? You have to ask that? I'm the boss. Mommy is only the decision maker. --Mighty Aphrodite-+ + + + + Bob: I never believed in God. No, I didn't even as a little kid. I remember this. I used to think even if he exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him. --Everyone Says I Love You-+ + + + + Isaac Davis: It's an interesting group of people, your friends are. Mary Wilke: I know. Isaac Davis: Like the cast of a Fellini movie. --Manhattan-+ + + + + Cecilia: I just met a wonderful new man. He's fictional but you can't have everything. --The Purple Rose of Cairo-+ + + + + Frederick: If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in His name, He'd never stop throwing up. --Hannah and Her Sisters-+ + + + + Helen Sinclair: She�s perky all right. She makes you want to sneak up behind her with a pillow and suffocate her. --Bullets Over Broadway-+ + + + + Derek Vinyard: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time.

--American History X-(ait�h Andreasele) + + + + + Customer: This man insulted me! Shop manager: Was it done with any style, madam? --The Fast Show-+ + + + + Man: I'm - well, we�re getting married, and I need a suit. Kenneth (the Suit You tailor): What, you and this lady here, sir? Are you sure, sir? Have you really thought this one through, sir? --The Fast Show-+ + + + + Professor Denzil Dexter: We took this skull�from another laboratory! Ha ha ha! Good one, Dave! --The Fast Show-+ + + + + Arthur Atkinson: Ay! You! Yes, you! Is that a moustache on your lip or is it just sh*t? --The Fast Show-+ + + + + Patrick Nice: Me and the wife met at university, we fell in love, got married and the kids just happened, and last week I gave Claire her first orgasm. Which was nice. --The Fast Show-+ + + + + Director: Chip? Take five - we need to reset the wire. Chip Cobb (deaf stuntman): Set meself on fire? Alright. --The Fast Show-+ + + + + Policeman: I've ascertained the time of death as 9.15. Monkfish: Have you really? What do you want, a biscuit? --The Fast Show-+ + + + + Dave Angel - Eco Warrior: Heey! My name's Dave Angel, eco warrior. Behind me there is my missus Shirley, and we haven't had sex for twelve years, which is fine because we got better things to do. --The Fast Show-+ + + + + Dave Angel - Eco Warrior: Hey, how ya doing? Dave Angel, Eco Warrior, having a wee on a tree. Nothing wrong with that. Little bit of natural sauce coming out a natural bottle. --The Fast Show-+ + + + + Rowley Birkin, QC: She was half woman, half fish. Terrible in the kitchen, but a bloody good swimmer. --The Fast Show-+ + + + + Michel: Look, I've had my peace with the fact that everyone who calls here is a notch above brain dead, and that the pennies I am thrown each week are in exchange for me dealing with these people in a nonviolent manner. And usually that is fine, but today, sorry lady, I have ennui. --Gilmore Girls-+ + + + + Lorelai: Someone hit you with a pretty stick. --Gilmore Girls-+ + + + + Christopher: This town is like one big outpatient mental institution. --Gilmore Girls--

+ + + + + Lorelai: You ruined my joke. Rory: Um, no, the punch line ruined your joke. --Gilmore Girls--