This is hilarius hope you think so to.

I got it off of another forum:

Cyber Sex Gone Wrong
Found this on another forum. It's pretty funny: ---------------------------------------------------------------------So I was having cybersex the other day. It was pretty good I guess. Here it is: bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit. bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. bloodninja: Baby? Yeah it was pretty sweet. ---------------------------------------------------------------------This one was good. bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious. bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli3: thats it. bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now. ---------------------------------------------------------------------This kinda sucked. BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh shit BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up. eminemBNJA: Oh shit eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something ---------------------------------------------------------------------Ew this chick was nasty. Yeeeeaah. bloodninja: Wanna cyber? Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables? bloodninja: What like gardening an shit? Katie_007: Yeah, something like that. bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out: bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes. (pause) Katie_007: is that it? bloodninja: You water your tomato patch. bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce? Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me? (pause) bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily. bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains. Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis. bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots. bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT. Katie_007: ... bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here. bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now

you can't see. Bitch. Katie_007: whatever. ---------------------------------------------------------------------Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from smells funny. Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge. Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest. Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling. Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly. Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly. Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing. Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry. Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive. Wellhung: I'll pay for it. Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder. Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors? Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you. Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp. Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me. Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat! Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear. Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really. Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse. Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop. Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool. Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee! Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties. Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute. Sweetheart: What's the matter? Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking. Sweetheart: Are you OK? Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red. Sweetheart: Can I help? Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups? Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink. Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better. Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now. Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you. Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom? Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall. Wellhung: I found it. Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly. Wellhung: Me too. Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other. Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts. Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses? Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table. Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby! Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom. Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover. Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid. Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return. Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh! Sweetheart: What's the matter now? Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way. Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on. Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put know know...woman's thing. Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it! Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here. Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now! Wellhung: I'm flaccid. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection. Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face. Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong. Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse. Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles. Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes. Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face. Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser! Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo! Sweetheart: <logged off> ---------------------------------------------------------------------Practice safe cybersex. Enjoy hotstud69: Hello there blondebabe4u: Hi hotstud69: What is your name? blondebabe4u: Sandy, urs? hotstud69: Bob, nice to meet you.. what are you doing tonight? blondebabe4u: Nothing, just chatting, u?

hotstud69: not too much, just sitting around... what are you wearing? blondebabe4u: oh just my thong and a tank top. hotstud69: oh wow, I would love to see that, what do you look like? blondebabe4u: I am 5'6" blonde hair, green eyes, 120 lbs, you? hotstud69: i am 6'0" 175, brown hair, blue eyes, and tan blondebabe4u: you sound very handsome hotstud69: how about I pull that tank top off? blondebabe4u: Oh Bob, i would love for you too.... hotstud69: Oh yea, those look great... they feel nice too blondebabe4u: yes bob, my 36D's like that, you are good hotstud69: oh yes, they feel so good, I am squeezing them.. blondebabe4u: yes bob, you know what you are doing. hotstud69: Oh yea, I am getting so excited blondebabe4u: need me to help you there Bob hotstud69: oh yea, let me unzip for you blondebabe4u: oh wow bob, you have a nice one hotstud69: OH SHIT blondebabe4u: What? hotstud69: SON OF A BITCH!!! blondebabe4u: whats wrong? hotstud69: Got it stuck in the zipper... blondebabe4u: What? hotstud69: oh god, I am bleeding..... blondebabe4u: bob, are you ok? hotstud69: OMG... OMG... blondebabe4u: Bob?? hotstud69: I am feeling faint... blood everywhere... blondebabe4u: are you ok? hotstud69: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!! blondebabe4u: what bob what?? hotstud69: IT FEEL OFF!!!!!!!!!!! blondebabe4u: fell off? hotstud69: it is on the floor, laying there... I am looking at it, damn, thought it would be bigger......... blondebabe4u: call an abulance... hotstud69: I can't blondebabe4u: why hotstud69: Because I am on the computer blondebabe4u: well get off hotstud69: the last time tried to get off, my dick fell off........ blondebabe4u: bob?? blondebabe4u: bob?? blondebabe4u: bob?? hotstud69: has left the room ---------------------------------------------------------------------This conversation is real. It took place over AOL Instant Messenger. Only the names have been changed to protect starcrftmaniac and PunkgirlAngl, I mean, the innocent. Girl: Hi Boy: hello Boy: who is this? Girl: just a someone? Boy: A someone I know? Girl: nope

Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me? Girl: well sorrrrrry Girl: I just wanted to chat with you Boy: why? Girl: nevermind your an asshole Boy: Hey wait a minute Girl: yes? Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid Girl: paranoid? Boy: yes Girl: f what? Girl: me? Boy: No. I'm in hiding. Girl: LOL Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me! Boy: This shit is serious! Girl: What are you hiding from? Boy: The cops. Girl: gimme a fucking break Boy: I'm serious. Girl: I don't get it Boy: The cops are after me. Girl: For what? Boy: I'm wanted in three states Girl: For??? Boy: It's kindof embarrasing. Boy: I had sex with a turkey. Boy: Hello? Girl: You are fucking sick. Boy: Send me your picture. Girl: why? Boy: so I know you aren't one of them. Girl: One of what? Boy: The cops. Girl: I'm not a cop i told you Boy: Then send me your picture. Girl: hold on Boy: Hurry up. Boy: Are you there? Boy: fuck you, cop! Girl: Hey sorry Girl: I had to do something for my mom. Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities. Boy: Weren't you!? Girl: thats not it Boy: Then what? Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty Boy: Most cops aren't Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD! Boy: Then send me the picture. Girl: fine. What's your e-mail? Boy: Just send it through here. Girl: alright *PIC* Girl: Did you get it?

Boy: Hold on. I'm looking. Girl: That was me back in may Girl: I've lost weight since then. Boy: I hope so Girl: what?!? Girl: that hurt my feelings. Boy: Did it? Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? Girl: yes Boy: Alright let me find it. Girl: kks Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC* Girl: this isn't you. Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't! Girl: You don't look like that. Boy: How the hell do you know? Girl: cause your profile has another picture. Boy: The profile pic is a fake. Boy: I use it to hide from the cops. Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Boy: Not to mention all the groceries. Girl: Go fuck yourself Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week. Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. Girl: You've done nothing but slam me. Girl: you hurt me. Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me! Boy: Why would I do that? Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. Girl: FUC YOU!!! Boy: You'd break both of his legs. Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole. Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me Boy: Ok. I'm sorry. Girl: No you aren't Boy: You're right. I'm not. Boy: HAARRRRR! Girl: I'm done with you Boy: Aww. I'm sorry. Girl: I'm putting you on ignore Boy: Wait a sec Boy: We got off on the wrong foot. Boy: Wanna start over? Girl: No Boy: I'll eat your pussy Girl: You'll what? Boy: You heard me. Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy. Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture

Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy? Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes Boy: Well I'm not like most men. Boy: I get excited in different ways. Girl: Like what? Boy: Do you really wanna know? Girl: I don't know Boy: You have to tell me yes or no. Girl: I'm afraid to Boy: Why? Girl: cause Boy: cause why? Girl: well lets see Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you? Boy: Nope Girl: well its strange to me Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to Girl: I didn't say that Boy: So is that a yes? Girl: I guess so. Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Boy: Are you willing? Girl: What do you need me to do? Boy: I need you talk like a pirate. Girl: ??? Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" Boy: ok? Boy: Hello? Girl: You can't be serious Boy: Oh yes I am! Boy: It's my fantasy. Girl: this is retarded Boy: Do you want it or not? Girl: Yes I want it. Boy: Then you'll do it for me? Girl: sure Boy: Ok. Here we go. Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy. Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit. Girl: mmmm yeah Boy: uh oh ...going limp. Girl: Har Boy: You gotta do better than that! Boy: Your picture was really bad. Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke. Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. Girl: mmmmmm you are good Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder Boy: going limp

Girl: HARRRRRRR Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. Boy: You begin to sway back and forth. Boy: going limp Girl: this is stupid Boy: ...still limp Boy: Do it! Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole. Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole. Girl: WTF?!?!? Boy: They stink really bad. Girl: OMG STOP!!! Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Boy: I ram it up your ass. Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!! Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple... Boy: I kick you in the face! Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!! Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Boy: Your parrot flys away. Boy: ...going limp again. Boy: Hello? Boy: Say it! Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------evil_sarah: So you like bbws? VictimX4: Nope...I Luv BBW"S...;o))) evil_sarah: You're sort of cute. VictimX4: ThanXXX...;o))) VictimX4: Am Truly Honored... evil_sarah: You look like you really know how to handle a woman like me. VictimX4: 24/7...........;o))) evil_sarah: So what would you do to me if I was there right now? VictimX4: cover you in cane syrup and start licking you from your toes up to your ears... evil_sarah: Mmmmm. That sounds good. Then what? VictimX4: rub you down with baby oil and make HOT SLIPPERY LOVE to You For Hours... evil_sarah: I only have 5 toes. evil_sarah: Is that a problem for you? VictimX4: is ok with me... evil_sarah: Ok. evil_sarah: I lost one of my legs in Desert Storm. evil_sarah: They didn't show any of it on CNN, but it was hell over there. evil_sarah: I was really in the shit. VictimX4: am a vet also... evil_sarah: yeah. From what war? VictimX4: Nam Era... evil_sarah: Really? evil_sarah: You kill a lot of gooks over there? VictimX4: some...was in Armor...a Tanker...

evil_sarah: You kill any women and children? VictimX4: not that I Know of... evil_sarah: I did. evil_sarah: I hit them with the flame thrower. evil_sarah: They tried to tell me they were civilians but I knew better. evil_sarah: So I torched them. evil_sarah: One of them threw a grenade and blew off one of my legs. VictimX4: was pretty lucky...came back "Almost" like I left... evil_sarah: What do you mean "Almost"? VictimX4: still think about tymes...there...but ok Physically... evil_sarah: Yeah? Did you ever make a neclace out of ears? VictimX4: you never really forget... evil_sarah: I did. VictimX4: no...tried very hard to keep my Sanity... evil_sarah: I still have a finger neclace that I wear every day. evil_sarah: It stunk for a while but now it's just like a bunch of beef jerky. VictimX4: did not get to bring anything back... evil_sarah: They didn't want to let me keep it on the transport back so I had to hide it in my ass. evil_sarah: It hurt. The fingernails kept scratching me. evil_sarah: Let's not talk about those times. evil_sarah: You were just about to oil up my stump. VictimX4: ok... evil_sarah: Keep going. Tell me what you would do next. VictimX4: completely lost the mode...sorry... VictimX4: mood... evil_sarah: Come on. Pretend I'm one of those Saigon whores. VictimX4: mind kinda wonders off to those tymes... VictimX4: they were not really all that hot...alll skin and bones... VictimX4: not cuddly at all... evil_sarah: Tell me I'm a slut and pull my hair. VictimX4: I like to do that...;o))) evil_sarah: What's up with that link on your profile? You have herpes? VictimX4: thing I did get to bring back... evil_sarah: I got it too from Kuwait. evil_sarah: No big deal. I can deal with it. VictimX4: me also... evil_sarah: Does yours itch? VictimX4: am pretty lucky...only a few tymes a yr... evil_sarah: Sometimes i can't tell if it's the herpes or the vaginosis. But it itches like crazy. evil_sarah: It smells horrible too. Like a burning tire. evil_sarah: So come on. You were in the middle of oiling me up. evil_sarah: Let's get it on. VictimX4: Sorry ...maybe some other tyme...maybe??? evil_sarah: No. Come on. You got me all excited now. evil_sarah: Don't you want to have cyber sex with me? VictimX4: can not concentrate right now... evil_sarah: Why not? evil_sarah: You're not having flashbacks to the Nam are you? VictimX4: not really flashbacks...just bad memeories evil_sarah: Like what? evil_sarah: You hearing voices? evil_sarah: You got gooks in the peremiter? VictimX4: you always hear their voices and see their faces...but worst yet is when the faces VictimX4: you see is their Death Face...not when they were alive... evil_sarah: Oh yeah. Now your're getting me hot. Keep going.

evil_sarah: I'm sucking on one of the fingers from my neclace right now. Hello? VictimX4: have to hit the showers. Got to get up for work tomorrow. evil_sarah: No don't go! evil_sarah: I'm almost finished. evil_sarah: I'm fingering my self with one of the bigger ones from my neclace. VictimX4: don't have tyme evil_sarah: This fuckign vaginosois. Makes it look like it's covered with cottage cheese. VictimX4: sounds nice. Bye. evil_sarah: You pussy! evil_sarah: A real man would at least finish a woman off. evil_sarah: You have no backbone. VictimX4: But I love you! You are a bbw!! evil_sarah: That's why you couldn't bring yourself to torch those women and kids In the Nam. evil_sarah: I once burned a kid to death with a pack of matched evil_sarah: because my flamethrower was out of gas. VictimX4: Bye. evil_sarah: I smuggled one guy's brains back in a mayonnaise jar. evil_sarah: I put it on crackers and eat it at special occasions. VictimX4: You're sick. Goodbye. evil_sarah: Mostly on Holidays. I don't have much left. evil_sarah: Are you still there? evil_sarah: ANSWER ME! ---------------------------------------------------------------------Bigbenny02: hi, a/s/l? kwazyfwies: hiya 18/f/usa u? Bigbenny02: wow, 18/m/usa Bigbenny02: want to cyber? kwazyfwies: yes kwazyfwies: you start ok? Bigbenny02: ok then Bigbenny02: I slowly advanced towards you, my breathing quickens kwazyfwies: I'm laying on my bed with just my blouse and nikers on Bigbenny02: I growl like a sexualy frustrated beast! kwazyfwies: lol, I ask you to come closer Bigbenny02: I run across the room and jump on top of you... kwazyfwies: easy big boy Bigbenny02: i turn you over, and rub your back slowly kwazyfwies: mmmm thats nice Bigbenny02: I pin you down and let loose an evil hissing sound kwazyfwies: wtf? Bigbenny02: Surprise! muhahahahahaha, i'm a vampire, and i vant to suck your blood! kwazyfwies: forget it physco Bigbenny02: don't you like it like that babyface? kwazyfwies: no Bigbenny02: i was only joking! sorry, let me try again kwazyfwies: ok Bigbenny02: I gently caress your tender bottem. kwazyfwies: I moan softly Bigbenny02: All of a suden I scream loudly, pull apart your arse cheeks, burry my face in the dingle berry encrusted hair mass, and inhale deeply through my nose kwazyfwies: you sick fuck Bigbenny02: you smell bad baby, do you wash? kwazyfwies: bye looser.

Bigbenny02: sorry, its my bad sense of humor, Most people i say it to find it funny? kwazyfwies: ...i don't Bigbenny02: I turn you over, and pull out my purple headed warrior kwazyfwies: its not very big Bigbenny02: you won't be saying that when it infiltrates your poop tube and rips apart your colon!!! Bigbenny02: I thrust my pocket rocket at you, and begin humping your leg like a powerful german shepard! kwazyfwies: don't talk to me ever again Bigbenny02: I move my hands down to your black triangle of love, somehow managing to wade through the jungle of pubic hair, i find a pink patch... Bigbenny02: omg. hidden in the hair is a small penis! kwazyfwies: i'm reporting you... Bigbenny02: I squeel like a freshly wounded pig at the sight of it. Bigbenny02: "so thats your dark secret!" i scream, "you sick twisted bitch!" Bigbenny02: u run away, into the night, crying, the cold wind whipps your naked flesh, i chase after you Bigbenny02: i drop kick you, and rip off your left leg leaving a small bloody stump. "you aint pretty no more!!!" kwazyfwies: blocked. looza Bigbenny02: bye sweet stuff ---------------------------------------------------------------------VictimX_27: Hi there! cheesedog: HEYA! VictimX_27: What u up 2? cheesedog: Nice English. cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus? VictimX_27: Get fucked cheesedog: I'm just joking relax VictimX_27: cheesedog: What's your name? VictimX_27: Whats yours? cheesedog: I asked you first. VictimX_27: I asked you second cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school? VictimX_27: huh cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog VictimX_27: Thats not your real name cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name? VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it? VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av? cheesedog: Yes it is VictimX_27: Very handsome cheesedog: Thanks VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem cheesedog: Fuck you. VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot! cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot? VictimX_27: Yeah cheesedog: What do you look like? cheesedog: Do you have a pic? VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone

cheesedog: Why not? VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly cheesedog: I won't make fun of you VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh? cheesedog: Is that what you're saying? VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that. VictimX_27: Nahhh cheesedog: Then describe yourself. VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like? cheesedog: Because I think you're nice cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you. VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me cheesedog: Why not? VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly. cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside. VictimX_27: You don't even know me cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me? cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine. VictimX_27: You don't understand cheesedog: Is it that bad? VictimX_27: YESSSSS cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons. cheesedog: She is the bomb! cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her! VictimX_27: Wheezy? cheesedog: Yep. Weezy. VictimX_27: Who is that? cheesedog: George's wife. VictimX_27: Who is george cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons. cheesedog: Are you fucking deaf? VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons? cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go VictimX_27: wut? cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are? VictimX_27: Should I? cheesedog: Yes. VictimX_27: Well I don't. cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT BURN ON THE GREEEELL... VictimX_27: huhhh? cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH VINNNN. JUST TO GET UP THAT HEEEELL VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying? cheesedog: Hold on a second cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC* VictimX_27: Thats her? cheesedog: Yep VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy! VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny. cheesedog: What's funny? VictimX_27: u r

cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you VictimX_27: me 2 cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like? VictimX_27: u don't give up do u? cheesedog: Never VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her cheesedog: ??? VictimX_27: I'm very white cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista' VictimX_27: LOL cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess. VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most cheesedog: really? VictimX_27: I'm an albino cheesedog: a what? VictimX_27: u don't know what that is? cheesedog: I've heard the word before VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair VictimX_27: So I'm all white cheesedog: This is bullshit VictimX_27: I'm serious! VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before? cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia? VictimX_27: No, we live all over. cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like. VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me cheesedog: Ok VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC* cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out? cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it. cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually. VictimX_27: Thank u cheesedog: No problem cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like. VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours? cheesedog: Yes VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back? cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you up. VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL cheesedog: I'm serious VictimX_27: We'll see. cheesedog: Yes we will. VictimX_27: Bye for now! cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen. VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT> About 3 hours later... VictimX_27: HEY! cheesedog: Hello there

VictimX_27: I'm back cheesedog: Have fun at the mall? VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes cheesedog: Interesting VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now? VictimX_27: LOL cheesedog: Is that a yes? VictimX_27: Could be VictimX_27: cheesedog: HOT DAMN! cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your.. VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy cheesedog: Why? VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want cheesedog: What do you mean? VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you? cheesedog: Of course not. cheesedog: I like you. VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are. cheesedog: I'm 27. Now.... cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers VictimX_27: WAIT! cheesedog: They get hard again... what? VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first? VictimX_27: Like what I like? cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up. VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing. cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!! VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass VictimX_27: Just give me a minute cheesedog: ok VictimX_27: I'm back cheesedog: np VictimX_27: thank you cheesedog: So what do you like? VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked cheesedog: Where? VictimX_27: Everywhere cheesedog: Any place in particular? VictimX_27: uhhh yeah cheesedog: tell me VictimX_27: on my clit cheesedog: OK! cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN! VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh. cheesedog: Ok. Check this out. cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building. cheesedog: No is around. Its all quiet. VictimX_27: Uh huh cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.

cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your pussy VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole VictimX_27: yessss cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you. cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back. cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs* VictimX_27: ??? cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!! cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!! cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap.... VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!! cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!! cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in! VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny! cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT! cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area** cheesedog: Slimer is in there too.. VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE! cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP! cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass. cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!** VictimX_27: Never talk to me again! cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color VictimX_27: FUCK YOUUUU cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut! VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK YOUUUU!!!!! cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore! VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!! cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said. cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit. cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!! cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!! cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF! VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!! cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them** VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT> ---------------------------------------------------------------------juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: hey you? juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: im good el_effu_gone_wild: wuz up babe how u been juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: so good now el_effu_gone_wild: what u doing juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: chilling at home juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: and now im thinking about you el_effu_gone_wild: me too babe el_effu_gone_wild: what's up what u wanna do juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: ciber el_effu_gone_wild: are u wet? juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: I don't know are you baby?

el_effu_gone_wild: im soaking wet juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: what do you like? el_effu_gone_wild: big tasty pussies el_effu_gone_wild: u got one juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: oh yeah, me to el_effu_gone_wild: are u naked? el_effu_gone_wild: what are ur measurements juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: we are are making out on the couch juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: re you a dude? el_effu_gone_wild: yeah why? juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: god damn it so am i el_effu_gone_wild: forget it juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: thats ok we can still make this work. wear on the couch and I'm rubbing your tits el_effu_gone_wild: oh hell no el_effu_gone_wild: no way juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: come on,I was in prison. How about you? el_effu_gone_wild: never been there thank you juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: your welcome el_effu_gone_wild: ok el_effu_gone_wild: you can try el_effu_gone_wild: with el_effu_gone_wild: madamlibrarian21 el_effu_gone_wild: that's a nick find her yourself juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: I go down on your warm wet pussy el_effu_gone_wild: try also anamaria_maria2003 you might find her too juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: licking it el_effu_gone_wild: you aint going nowhere with me juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: then I turn you over and make you eat my ass. mmmmm that fills good babe your tits are big juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: Oh mmmm, just like that. I take you by the hips and do you fast lick a prison Guard juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: hello juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: el_effu_gone_wild are you playing? juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: hi? juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: answer me bitch or i'll stab you on the block juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: I didn't mean that come back to bed juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: that it fish , your going to be guided ---------------------------------------------------------------------bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch. Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay. bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll. Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough. bloodninja: I smack you thick booty. Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good. bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh. bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm. Sarah19fca: you like that? bloodninja: I peel some bananas. Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those? bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark. Sarah19fca: Peanuts? bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh. Sarah19fca: What are you talking about? bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.

Sarah19fca: This is stupid. bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer. bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold? bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh. Sarah19fca: /ignore bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a b*tch anyway. bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset. ---------------------------------------------------------------------bloodninja: Wanna cyber? DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-) DirtyKate: Who are you? bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm. DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate: I want everything, baby! bloodninja: Is this a delivery? DirtyKate: Umm...Yes DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. **pause** DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza. bloodninja: I'm on my way now though **pause** DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now. bloodninja: How did you know? bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate: What the f**k? DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t DirtyKate: F**k ---------------------------------------------------------------------Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right? J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie. Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg" J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t. Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun? J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.

Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun? J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby. Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun". J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big. Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do? J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something. Partner6: It likes that. J-Dogg: aight. Partner6: Keep talking to me baby... J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently. Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like. J-Dogg: I unzip my pants... Partner6: Yes, show me what you got. J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts... Partner6: WTF?! J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong! Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck women... J-Dogg: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed! Partner6: You dipsh*t. J-Dogg: I whimper to myself... J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

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