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The Betaris Concept is derived from Betaris Box


The Cycle of Conflict illustrates how our attitude and behaviour affects
the attitude and behaviour of the people we interact with.


My Attitude


My Behaviour

Your Behaviour



Your Attitude

Within any interaction, our attitude whether positive or negative is reflected in

our behaviour as we exchange signals on a conscious and subconscious level and
we interpret those signals in order to decide what signals we want to reciprocate
back. This is a continuous process within any exchange, and the reaction that we
receive, is a product of the messages that we send through our words, tonality
of voice, facial expressions and body language.
Attitude affects behavior
Our attitude about anything comes out in our external behavioral displays. This
may appear in the signals we send to other people, for example in smiles, voice

tone and use of particular words. It also appears in how we act, and in
particular regarding other people. The reverse is also true, of course, and
attitude of others also affects their behavior.
Behavior affects others' attitudes
When something is done or physical signals are sent to you, then it has an
effect on your attitude. If an individual acts in an aggressive way towards, this
will be interpreted in a certain way. Attitude is subsequently affected by this,
either because an individual is persuaded by arguments or because you react
to what you may perceive as unreasonable behavior by me.
And again, the reverse is true. Your behavior affects my attitudes as I interpret,
rightly or wrongly, what you do or signal.
Thus a circle is created. I act, which affects your attitude, which affects your
behavior, which affects my attitude, which affects my actions.
So what?
This is one of the circular behavioral patterns whereby we get stuck in
subconscious loops. Recognizing it is the first step to addressing it.
To change the behavior of others, first watch your own attitude and how it
affects your behavior. Then notice how your behavior affects other people. You
can break the unconscious loop by noticing how the behavior of others makes
you feel and refusing to let it affect your attitude without first censoring this

Without this knowledge of this concept we can become locked into an

escalating cycle of confrontation.
Once we do understand this concept we are then empowered to break the cycle
and use the messages that we send to de-escalate the interaction and
promote a positive exchange.