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Band 5

Modern medicine helps to live a longer life. Do you agree?

The modern medicine is very important for living a long life. It is depend on new technology. People take
very easy and quickly. Also modern medicine is very quick absorbing to human body. It is helps to back
to normal for people health condition. Therefore I agree that the modern medicine is helps to live longer.
First of all, the modern medicine can prevent incurable diseases. Doctors can find some diseases very
early. Then doctors can give suitable medicines to patients. New modern equipments are helps doctors is
going to correct way. Also intelligent people in the world live a long life on helps from modern medicine.
That is very important in the human society because their creative things are coming with them and they
can help others for a longer time when they are living in long life with comfortably.
Beside, old population is increasing in the country. It is badly effect in countrys economy and especially
for third world countries. But old people are very important in human society because their experience
definitely helps to living safely and planning to new project. Experience is better than qualifications
However, old people are living a long life; it is helping others to live a long life because we can get advice
from them and they are covering our culture and society.
Moreover, modern medicine is being addictive for some people, so that they cannot live without
medicine. They should take medicine all their lives. Also modern medicine is very expensive. Therefore
most of poor countries couldn?t take modern medicine and it has taken a commercial shape, also it is
depending on money. In the modern medicine have not facts of human kindness. People who have money
can take modern medicine. But indigenous medicine has well human friendly shape. It does not depend
on money.
To summarize; in my personal view, modern medicine is helping to live a long life with comfortably.
Modern technologies are being supported to find unburnable diseases very early. So doctors can take
correct path immediately. Therefore, may I not hesitate to agree with the above mentioned statement.
Your essay has several confusing sentences, where your meaning is unclear.
You mix advantages and disadvantages of the modern medicine in one paragraph when you should
divide them have advantages in one paragraph and disadvantages in another.
If you agree with the statement, you should have 2 paragraphs supporting your opinion and one
supporting the opposite opinion, in your essay it is 2 against and 1 for.
The structure of sentences is not very good here and so is your grammar. Try reading more essays of
Bands 6 and 7 to see how you can improve your writing. Read more tips in IELTS-blog and Ace The
IELTS or Target Band 7 e-books.

Band 6
The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population, which is causing problems not only for
poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialized and developed nations. Describe some of
the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution. You should
write at least 250 words. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Nowadays, the population increase dramatically in most countries around the world. This is true for the
developed and developing nations. Overpopulation cause a different number of problems. However, the
government can solved these problems in many solution.
There are several problems that the raising number of people in undeveloped countries causes. Firstly, it is
very difficult to provide enough food for all people. Secondly, the government limits the number of
children per family to educate in school. In addition, in poorest countries usually have a lot of
unemployment as well, and when the population increases, the number of unemployment increase.
Finally, when too many people live on the land, the environment suffers.
There are different problems that overpopulation causes in rich nations. Firstly, it is very difficult for
governments to provide helpful public services in overcrowded cities. Moreover, there is generally a
higher level of crimes being committed, such as drugs abuse, murders, thefts, and ect. Which that often
cause by the high rates of unemployment.
However, overpopulation problems in both nations have two main solution which they aredeal by
governments. Firstly, the government must educate people about limiting the size of the family. For
example, in China they have a policy called one child policy which limits the size of the family to one
or two children, and this is beginning to have an effect on the worlds most crowded nation.
To sum up, if the impulsive population increase continues, many more people will die of hunger in the
poor countries. Also, in rich nations, the life in the cities will become more and more difficult.
This essay covers the task and has a good content. However there are several areas to improve. The
grammar needs more attention (see comments underlined in blue). In the first paragraph, the last
sentence has instances of repetition of solve and solution, you could say instead can find many
solutions to those problems. In the third paragraph, the last sentence has poor structure and looks
unfinished. Overall, this looks like a Band 6 6.5 essay.

Band 7
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime
detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence
on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
In the last two decades cybernetics have experienced a major breakthrough .This led to the utilization of
computers in nearly all parts of our daily life, from personal computers to the ones performing
complicated surgeries. Surely the uptake of this technology facilitates a lot of difficult tasks but is this
excessive dependance ripping the warmth out of our lives? In this essay, I will outline how the availability
of computers affects our lives.

Most of the daily tasks an individual experiences are time and effort consuming. These two fundemental
qualities could be tremendously saved by the use of computers. The average period required to prepare a
decent meal for a middle-class family is around an hour to and hour and a half when using traditional
methods. This time could be literally reduced to half if computerized decivesare used instead. Moreover, a
busy businessman is enabled to easily close a profitable deal with just a touch on this highly programmed
laptop while enjoying his family vacation and not having to exert an extra effort of traveling long
distances in order to sign a deal.
On the other hand, new generations are growing remarkably dependent on these modern utilities, which
makes them handicapped when it comes to preparing a cup of tea. Inaddition, psychologists suggest that
one of the main reasons for sucidal rate increase is the recent electric inventions. This is due to the fact
that humans by nature stay emotionally healthy through socializing, but due to the importance of modern
technology to maintain a financially satisfying standard of life they gradually isulate themselves. As time
passes by each of these individuals gets stuck in a vicious circle of loneliness that eventually leads to
suicidal attempts especially among youngsters.
In conclusion, similarly to every other invention computers have their benefits and drawbacks, I
personally think it all depends upon how we use the given tools . Moderation is the key here to keep the
balance and allow us to live in harmony.
This is a good essay, nice vocabulary, a little too long (340 words instead of 250), a few grammatical
mistakes. The topic is not fully covered (what about the things will they be used for in future part?).

Band 8
Even though globalization affects the worlds economies in a positive way, its negative side should
not be forgotten. Discuss.
In the present age, globalization is playing an increasingly important role in our lives. But in the
meantime whether it is a blessing or a curse has sparked a heated debate. Some people argue that
globalization has a fundamentally beneficial influence on our lives, while many others contend that it has
a detrimental effect as well.
A convincing argument can be made about globalization not only playing a pivotal role in the
development of technology and economy, but also promoting the cultural exchange between different
countries. To start with, it is the globalization that impelled many corporate to become international
groups, thereby making a contribution to the local technology and employment. Specifically, when a
multinational group establish a factory in a developing country, the new equipment, the new management
skills and the job vacancies are all in the best interest of the local society. Moreover, people worldwide
can get to know each other better through globalization. It is easy to see that more and more Hollywood

blockbusters show cultures different from American, some recent examples are Kungfu Panda and The
Admittedly, the profit driven side of globalization has severely affected young people. Today, in the
metropolises in different countries, it is very common to see teenagers wearing NIKE T-shirts and Adidas
footwear, playing Hip-Hop music on Apple iPods and eating at KFC. The culture that took a thousand
years to form just seems similar in these cities; it seems as though you can only distinguish them by their
language. Meanwhile, in some developing countries, sweat workshops are always a concerning issue. For
instance, reports show that some teenagers employed by NIKEs contractors work in smelly factories over
14 hours a day, but are only paid fifty cents per hour.
To sum up, I would concede that globalization does come with some adverse effects. Despite that fact,
benefits created by it far outweigh the disadvantages. Overall, I am convinced that we should further
promote globalization and meanwhile the local government should take measures to combat culture
assimilation and sweat workshops.
This essay is extremely long (338 words instead of the advised 250-265). It has a sound structure,
your position is clearly expressed, the information is well-organized, and structure-wise the
sentences are fine. The vocabulary is impressive and there were only a few grammatical errors (see
comments underlined in blue). Overall, this seems to be a band 7.5 + essay.