1

SIGFRIDSSON
AS ONE

GOTSALA 46
PHOTOGRAPHY BY 1 SIGFRIDSSON
ALL RIGHTS OWNED BY 1 SIGFRIDSSON
ISBN 978-91-979005-3-9

ISBN 978-91-979005-0-8

PRINTED EDITION

E-BOOK

I AM
Wanted a slumber down in the valley
close by almond trees in worthy bloom
Ring the always longed for lyre tones.
But, became another
Wished to stand free in dark green autumn
cleansed from all the living years’ hard grin
To live and die pretty as an autumn leaf.
But, am by mistakes tied
Became rainfall, cold calling winds, trust in Fate,
a brief scent before death,
as scythed nettle,
broken citrus leaves,
autumn land after night rains

It wishes to shatter here
between the gravel and the foliage

Finding the worst love
That, which could not be found

But, I can undoubtedly love
when there is something to love

I am laid opened, as one solely unrotten,
in the apple basket given to the sorrows
I am so strangely hard, so oddly grained,
to be carried away from abandoned mills
Knowing all waving wind-flowers Sun kissed
Those, beautifully crestfallen, already dulled,
worn inside a heart that was nearly enough
and to your refusal have never been missed

For me, betrayal is not good enough,
cleanest love violated,
the ruins’ clothes
or my own will’s struggle slaughtered

I am entangled,
stricken down in quenching pettiness
I am grieved,
filled with all the days’ nothingness
I am mist raised,
clouded, covered underneath weakened will

I am hidden,
with this unreachable cold-hammered need
I am glowing snow on frozen stock
in memory’s burned down forests
I am incarcerated,
left where blemishes are left
I am my winnings pulled away,
taken and swept in a gulp

I am a still night cloud, a raised scent of leaves,
that will never find the Worlds again
Holding the Tree you know carries your leaves
while we break its limbs
I am this.
I am what you never can feel or know

IN YET ANOTHER AUTUMNFALL
Dream me in rowanwreathed autumnforest days
where shimmering clings near the sleeping fields
meanwhile a broken mist stumbles, lifts — Rises
And a silent rain sweeps — The bonfire hisses

Travelling mist covered
And soon it dawns again — Again
Watching wilderness, playing with dry leaves,
eating my thistles carefully and gifting smiles
beneath days of past in mirrored greyish skies
And have alone been stuck — Where Time stopped
The almost unnoticed waves in the mountain creek
are listening near to the pleasing small drops of rain,
watching this forest thin slowly with this Autumn
and knew these leaves would fall in here — Again
Travelling mist covered — Traceless
And soon it dawns again — Again
Reached an early marsh under slow leaf falling,
herein may serenity caress and milden

You, Autumnland, are Death’s lost portent
And soon a winternightwind was heard calling

GOTSALA
Wandering primeval forest, through swamps and over meadows
Living on reed root, lingo berries and blueberries
Tasting the smell of wet moss and resin
Carry me to glimmering lights from the pond mirrors
where the bed beside here is laid spruce twigs in a glade 
Handed a handshake to the dew
when the hearts storms were overcome
Casted cleansed from the poverty need
to find myself rested near the trees
I shall make snow here
Wrap myself in soft moss
Climb inside the faded flowers 
underneath ill-painted dark skies 
Molts of cold 
Mist rests
Breaking sleep
off
Inside this waiting
the inner life-achievement is done
Learning to live
Again

WINTERFELLED
Letting your nightsnow glimmer
Calming the storm while ice snare branches

And it is winterstill
by sprucewhisper above fleetingly singing ices,
by thousands of frozen tarns inside forest glades

Winterfelled,
rime grabs hold of the branchery
like we hear our groaning steps silenced
Listen.
Be quiet now, snowfall,
right here, by the spruce, the winterbird eats for its life
while Death wants to say something about the sorrows
— I was the one born unto snow in a permanent thaw,
one the world skyembraced sprinkled splintered answers
and left me to be remained, long lasting as tender snow,
one so aloned, leaving all my sorrows over wrong graves
In tears collecting the dead heart before the sick
The last sight endearing land of blood and stones
as I squint over all of this too thin-sown beauty
frosty nights caught frozen in a shined darkness
Want to own myself nothing beyond rest, Endtime dozed away,
want something higher the flames of will sent me burnt in here
In tears collecting the living heart before the dead

MY LOVE
THIS IS THE TENDER EMBRACE OF LOVE!
Binding twigs against darkness, the threatening,
which threatens to burn all our heartsongs
and take what is lovable from its curing
A young Ash bends down to answer
Flowers step up and play!
My love is for springs, blackberries and rainbows!
My love is for silver fir trees and wild grown pear trees!
My love is the sun-warmed cowslip slopes and paddocks!
I kiss the wind healthy, smiling with the skies here,
laughing at the curious fox there!
An appreciation of the volatile you learn
whereas we to our heart pick berries!
The wagtail trips, the worms lay on a line
A twig is broken on the ground far from a town
Stone shards stand in a circle
The cornflower knows everything!
My love is for the groves, wild strawberries and ponds!
My love is for mushrooms and extensive valleys!
My love is the glittering creeks and mountain trails!
MY LOVE IS FOR EVERYTHING WORTH LOVING!

RAINED
Rain thickens the skies, dresses the landscape
A heavy rain wets the forest, dances in the stream,
bends bilberry shrubs placed upon the mossed stones
while running rills nearby through the thicket, as for a dream
Stumbling roots — diverting wounds
There! Sunbeamembraced wild trees
hidden mountainwreathed wasteland
strengthens what memories miraged:
Strangely Reality has been branched

There lies an arrow in the rain, shot,
brought here, stuck into a forsaken heart
Sent here silenced, bittered and lived
Stopped.

Rained in sea

LET ME SEARCH FOR FOUR-LEAF CLOVERS
Let me be in all the days
where wild strawberries are attached to straw,
where lilies of the valley gleam white in the glades
and my chanterelles glow yellow from the groves
Let me search for four-leaf clovers 
Let me gladly drown the sorrow
and become the real in me
Let me inoculate a leaf on a three-leaf clover
Let me create four-leaf clovers!
LET ME!
Remaining here was this heart
in its anciently dormant well
to retrieve, 
open and carry
Raising myself
Letting me newkiss the wetlands’ sun-warmed cloudberries
in the wilderness where the deer’s dances nightly with elks
while these stars in this night are set guard over the sparks
and the rowan berries solemnly sail across the forest lakes
Raising myself
It takes a while
before the veils bend down

Gone

are dusted membranes

AWAITED
Awaken in the moment mists climb the mountain
Writing three words; Not a word —
on molten fragile leaves the winds have thrown around
I hasten there, up to, close to almond trees in its new,
refilling calm and leaving behind tears from a joyous
that will soon trickle me away fast against this world
as missed moments of beauty finds sorrows for days
Eagles and ravens follow through the valley glen
home to how Wind caresses the clouds slightly — Home
Here — over these chamomilestrewn tracks that meanders
on a gathered freodpath far away from the wound’s revilers
Hold me as one always awaited, present and sorely missed,
owning these memories that was worthy to be left alone
and continue to blossom sweetly here, even after my death

Shifting —
Moving eyes between Light and the afterglow of darkness
The night has torn itself, sending lovewords to the Universe again,
kissing the stars eyes softly, tenderly, without any frailty to remain

IN AN AWAITED LUSTFALL
Leaned against this mirkened fence
are we found equally bleached,
beaten by sun, rain and winter cold
The wait was like cracks around ice-holes,
in cold, not reliable and in complete inadequacy,
for the scum’s loopholes, nonsensical sidetracks,
refused me to blossom anew during my withering
It all just carried on, kept creating that — nothing,
when all of this suffering bred forth its pitifulness
So, show me a memory freed from complaint here,
but honourable to my eyes can only Knowledge be
I am the quarry of Life’s faults 
with my pathfound steps
Loved
Always feared

Hated
Always hailed

IN CLARITY

MIST

JOY! Smithen here in thy strength,
always be Viet honourable wisdom to embrace
and sweetened glitter, glim, IN CLARITY — MIST
TRUTH! Honour is all love,
Life won high and dignified to the alone
secrets poured blood, IN CLARITY — MIST
MIGHTS! Open our Reality,
now carefully touch the skies risted earth
and watchfully let us remain, IN CLARITY — MIST

ALLODJORD
See
earth fill cloth

Hear
ditches in still trickle

Hamstringing Fate.

Waiting three Sundays

Breaking nested dusk — Cracks
Opening the drum — Cracks
Frozen solid wells — Cracks

Making torched night paths there black-clad birds dances
while the moon bites caress inside a Windkissed harvest

Lifting,
pressing land and mountains home to Godan blood

BLOOD TRACKS
Think of faded traces of blood in the woods
turned into dust
in a last kiss of grey
Two footprints under the turf
Two dead at this place again
Our eyes are still here,
crowned over perfection,
for we kissed the lack of death
and put stones on thistles

We’re awaken, seen in wounds
Heal, we heal

IN STILLNESS YOUR NAMES ARE WHISPERED 
Have caught the swallows shriek
Laid dead flowers on the meadow 
Searched fragments of hardened memories
Incarnating a kiss from memory.
Renascent
A window through the treetops
shows its shards’ glow over the ground
It is spoken here with bird words 
where our embers become burning
Standing in and by the solid Tree
we cry happiness in the warm rain
In this high, bright and blue,
above the plum trees blooming,
down by the hyacinths beneath the skies,
we were embraced here to protected be
STAND TREE!
Stand tree with your branches as arms’
Stand tree robed clean in blue and gold
Stand tree in skin of bark of our innermost saved
Shards,
our richest shards of cried blood
created for happiness and sweetness,
worthy of our own home carried bliss
In stillness your names are whispered
Like fog thrown
Dream without sleep
Sigh in wind
That was the memory
Care for it tenderly

STONES
WISDOM!
How embarrassing you have become,
your scent too near the madhouse
sings its sorrows without any good motives
What wisdom has cannot be used
when what wisdom lacks is asked for
From the remains think yourself clean
and take the heart freed from words,
for the thoughts upon your path
where no one wish to wander
crawl down in the ground
where nothing can grow
and carve ruins of the years
to a paltry salary
in shadowlike kneeling,
in self-effacing moaning
Clean tears fall only in words
consolidated under vanity’s shelter
where they loved with barbed wire and mockery
to a great thrill for all our words’ tragic handouts…
Words to the sting, given joy filled lust,
to wishing wells’ finalized completions,
made to participating, present answers
Near The Altar of Fate nailed to remain.
Most alike the believed picture of you is hailed
or creeps down to another backlash reaction
and becomes its own conclusions’ executioner;
slanderer, and eventually the own wills whore
therein depredated flesh from the thoughts sit
as harrowed, in ridiculous unpalatable qualms,
hailing spilling, tearing down inherited rights,
while monarchy and democracy lie stupidity
upon a conspiring and deranged slaughter table
under imitation, unwanted shiny residues,
showing the highest heights’ devised murder
Spring water in swamps will swamp water be.

GIVE LIFE!
Being cut new scars
Being made new deathwords
All new wither anew
Overripe means rotten
Sculpted stone is stone!
Teach the autumn leaves survival!
Cleanse me from your surfaces.
Cobweb shudder
Captured hung in pieces
Coldembraced, misharvested and patinated
At home in permafrost
Sole host and sole guest
Left burned out

Send my well documented threatening letters to Suffering
No answer

Send a complaint to the Kastalian well
Answers

Waiting

Moving

Our Sun rites belong to all districts
inside of Sunsigned and Treesigned
Remaining here until the Olympian
Give life, loved!
Give life in this chilled air
Give life in this sight over the district
GIVE LIFE! GIVE LIFE! GIVE LIFE! GIVE LIFE!
The Observer,
cared for autographs of symbolism
and honestly missed glad memories
all while the creeks so deeply dug
had not yet reached to the oceans
The Collector,
wished for words of diamonds,
an utility game against vermin’s dancing
That the pen, the weak’s defense,
once again would usurp the feel of living

Numbing unwillingness is starved

Nightly cleansing baths

Drinking healing spring water as an obsessed

The Sun glitters over the valley

GLADED
HEAR! Now take the path here — Come and be gladed!
Gladed! —
Taken from worries, remembering glittered creekwater,
we’re rushed to, binding herein, lovely daybreak’s new!
Wandered! —
Peacefilled with sweet harsh common fern taste
taking steady morning steps on dewloved path!
Entranced!
We wriggle the bolt off into brushwood’s hiding places,
finally twig off this drunken suffering carried us forth,
for Gladness, when facing life, wish to escape quickly!
Loved —
lifting gently worn out glances to spring-set our fallow,
discerning forest still sighing, nourished clean of this light,
hastening the trip, fast cloth, wreath us in living grandeur!
Whispered —
at the end of the glade Truth searched; owned its answer
next to a dull green, soft and willing, a leaved fair craving
cut with richest imaginable berry-flowers cleanest needs!

We thread gladed forth, running welled up, and come here silently,
for soon the flowering is gone and the years have us kissed through!

STEPS BEHIND STEPS
Time stares me
with eyes so scarred that the heart flees
The cold is beckoning
Steps behind steps were heard
I flow united with the stream water
where the mists speak to the cypresses
Raise me as drowned
Slaughter me as given
Grow me as thought
Taking wordtears in 
Taking fragments home
My real rituals’ fairest slices
poured chasted inside libations
lay fulfilled, given and opened,
to All-reconsolidating and liberating
Steps behind steps were firstly heard
where the strikes bends, then breaks,
as Times trails are heavily trod upon
and all forgiveness demands tributes

A SOLITARY SHADOW WITHOUT A NAME
SEE THERE!
Over the field wander a solitary shadow without a name 
who silently carries dusk till dawn into his own embrace
See him from this night, while it tenderly calms, holds him
He was born of Time between the Sun and Moon’s journey
Let him Victorykiss Lif’s upcoming dawning!
Let him own Troth as his voice in this world!
LISTEN!
Wishing to be sea smoke, fleeting and untouchable,
into; and with this dawninglight transform herein,
steal the hatred from these gashed pathtaken steps
and once again be brought the Truths to be lived in 
Standing in grey till All is realized to be of Light!
Loving All here until naught is left me missed here!
Letting me Victorykiss Lif’s dawning!
Letting me own Troth as my own voice!
Over the field wander a loved man of his name
who has carried dawn and dusk to our embrace

THE THIRD WOUND
Early, just before the day notices me, scars me again,
comes The First Wound driven up from the earth
and speaks coldly, in a chilled and lightbroken night:
I am the wind-extinguished light,
the dearest sorrowfriend you met,
all those left traces in the marsh
The Second Wound, cast around self-defence,
gorged in a hopelessly coldstricken embrace
that has soon used up all of this vulnerability
and reached in to Time to be awaken as bent:
Sorrow has played too long on its own board
with Life set up to become a fickle nothing
(Hidden times were fully rooted in advance
as Fate now hands in herself as fully written.)
Final peels of pity scraped down
A cold grip soon to be turned right
There, over this hushed dusk
a trembling candle flickering
risen as shimmering: Clarity,
Home to the very last wound

TO THE FRAGMENTS OF TRUTH
It bitters
just before the sunrise find its dew
and after the dew have been sipped
(Anyway, could never heal the nights
wherein the hours stretched into dawn
while flames searched hard for the light)
Life searched (to leave me)
meanwhile Sun silently extinguished the mists
by the still and calm mountain ash over the creek

Life will come (to love me)
in certainty,
in the violets waving forestshadows

TO LIFE BEG
Still in longing our embrace stayed, in dead words,
pressed against the field moisture to grow as refused
(Taking our love away from the labyrinthine answers
on a night blackened heath)

Our tender moments searched in vain after its hold
for hardened by remorse will hope us now own alone
(Soiled and completely slain
this heart in direness is forced to stay)

I have to reflect this with my least loved grin:
To Life beg
Meagerness has bared the weakness of words against our eye’s witness,
glittered in dust’s helplessness; all these unmoving mirrors: Memories.
I have waited too long, been stuck and emptied,
wherein immovable walls have built life’s game,
and ordered the nonyears unwise unlust ended:
To be broken and buried

Dwelling here.
Learned about Death:
Life infected by its own tearing

Have spoken sweetly and touched near the shimmer,
and; dignifiedly hated

Cold,
love our farewell

Warm up the ground.

AS WORN OUT SHADOWPLAY
Listening.
Remembering aged forestshine
Rainstrewn patterns
Wet leaves caressing the ground
Treading northnight.
Walking paths, learning the craft of wordless validity,
through the moon’s vividly painted forest-shadows
over this sweet silence and wilted leaf soil
Remaining. Now in a dawn without words.
Standing beside the edge of the woods as a secret,
as tired, failed and forgotten glimmered lumber
where sorrows always are in a temporary frozen
Remaining anyway. Stuck.
I am forlorn-embraced,
all too roughly ripped from this tearing uncertainty
unbeknownst my frail wild-strawberry time returned
and placed itself furthest away from un-necessity
Freedom?
Lingered on here under these lovingly sailing clouds
while these charming wild-strawberry in the green
stood helplessly faired in appeal after forgetfulness
NAUD
Cure: Life and Death.

TIND LIGHT!
Wandered to burial mounds where the Oaths were given
Risted The Path wherein was carried the longing of Worlds
FEEL!
Feel the torn
initiated here to be forlorn
Hard the frost strikes secrets
while a worthy is ripped apart, hardened
Torches flicker, cutting pieces from darkness
Making my leaves, hearing wolves’ songs

Quiet
The water called rain was given
Weak twigs were cracked
Still
Hear the streams carve the mountain
while wetted leaves chatter
Night rain falls
Storm comes
The rain cried instead of me and for me
Hidden under the Trees arms
beautifying anxiety and withering
with healing, resounding voices
Tind light for your life!
Tind light for our lives!
Tind light!
Tind light!

GLANCES WITHOUT WORDS
The broken white-heart cherry tree,
split in the trunk as it was,
beautygrown to be and give;
stands remembered
While rivulets trickle down before him
he removes worms from wild raspberries
Daydreaming that He reaches Time,
The All Reality’s Naval itself
He, in lee safety under shelter
He, which is calmed by the rain
HOPE
LUST
WILL

SUN returned
with eyes scarred
He is redeciphered,
violated and tarnished
He is made unseen,
outshined by illusion and left leafless
Clawed by your nearness
Clawed by my nearness
Into the fold to be corrected wrong 
and poorly eat betrayal and wretch
He gives glances without words

Flickered

This borne within, devouring,
hate’s real despair,
froststrikes this inconsolable life
to all the Worlds in their waiting
You will find only healthy stains
which will appear to be as like unlike
to feed more of the actual hindrance
which refused this Önd’s greatness
Cease commanding my reality-answers
after your will-belief of whim emotions
Taking me now from this unbearable,
away from the existence of wassail, but…
YOUR SOUGHT DIMINISHMENT WILL NOT REACH ME!
HERE WILL FORCED UPON NEVER BE MY WILL!
KNOW WHO HAVE STOLEN OUR EYES!
GRABBING THE DEATH BREAD FROM US ALL!

CALLING FORTH THIS RENEWED WARPATH!
GIVING US THE RIGHT LOVE BACK!

TAKING MY BLUE AWAY FROM YOUR EYES
INITIATING.
Here all eyes begin
and take us from seeing
of sagacious similarities
home to the realities
Strewing you with thistles,
for that to be sieved is already dead
Taking my blue away from your eyes
A slab of meat left
Taking those mirrors of shallowness
Striking the laughter you gave
Duped remained your life
Taking you
off.
Given you have been by the hours of light
which trickled down here through the clouds
as you were destined to among us be found,
but step by step your betrayal was nurtured
I spoke straight to the carrdrowned
where the bitterness of his grave met:
Your blanket was of a cloven glory
while Oaths gone and freely piggied
and strolled around after suckling
Now denied you cry in your sty
Eyes opening
Core falling on stone
Flower nevermore
Now the meat ends
Ripping Önd from The Path
To die right is the greatest
You have come to The Path’s end.

AN INSWEPT WINDTRACE (MEMORIES)
Living in my words — forthcoming memories.
(Living replanted — sown as a fieldshadow.)
When the misty streaks nightly with me wandered
while I, in silent forests to fields slowly searched
where torn away embraces had the heart emptied
I am outlawed, in a sneaking wind hidden,
concealed by the night leaves’ worn fading
Desolation.
Drinking The Well before the longing grows inevitable
Taking forth my last alone path
Dragging down pitiful, weatherbitten, wet soil,
into a dusty shack at the foot of the pineforest ridge
where sun cuts through the gaps in the wood boards
Unnoticed.
Inswept windtraces steps in with the cold
and nothing is left me here to remain — untouchable

TO LIF’S KINGDOM
Riding forward and Sign
from the Path to Life
Lif’s Kingdom shall crowned come
Come closer 
Touch Life and Death here
We are not mere meat and shadows
We are Önd’s remained from Holy Times
From Time in Time guarding and helping
We shall never be seen begging at our own table
upon our owned, this too long infested World!
Vermin qualm in stolen wisdoms,
making black and white of colours
and raising houses with stolen bars
So separate yourself from need
like a leaf beckoning its winter!
Let Viet’s suffering be eradicated here!
Let Lif’s coming world reign!
The Ravens cry in the forest
The fog presses itself over the meadow and fades
The Spear is thrown.

Time has come.