Effectively Stop Complaining in 7

Easy Steps
Life is stressful, and complaining may be considered by many as an extension of
being absolutely normal. However, complaining affects our brains and our physical
health negatively. A sense of sadness or melancholy is increased, along with real
dissatisfaction with our daily lives.

Negative stress can also exacerbate chronic health problems, such as diabetes or
asthma. Other physical complaints may include increased headaches, joint pain, and
depression. One way to combat these symptoms is through learning how to stop
useless complaining.

. next month. Nourish A Positive Attitude Change the way you think. Allow a period of grieving. Of course. When you inevitably experience set-backs. or date.’ Accept the situation for what it is and move forward. or next year. Sometimes.1. Accept that life is just plain messy. Acceptance of a situation helps you to adapt positively to life’s changes. No one and no situation is or can be ‘perfect. move forward and remember that everyone has them. Learn To Adapt The only sure thing about life is that nothing stays the same. setting a daily time to be sad about the change can help. For example. it is easy to stress over having the perfect child. even if it is a small good. Take up the challenge of seeing the positive in a situation. job. Change is coming whether it’s tomorrow. Cultivate a positive spin on how you perceive the problem. Some life changes are significantly sad. Keep the pro side heavily weighed against the negatives. but it is quite possible. Think of the experience as an opportunity rather than an untenable obstacle. this is far easier said than done. 2.

Rather. 4. you want people to understand your point. Be Assertive Giving up the bad habit of complaining does not mean allowing yourself to become someone else’s doormat. such as patience. and can teach you more mindful attitudes. “Oh. and always look people in the eye. new day. Stand up straight. Rather than. Recognize negative thoughts and replace them with a positive spin. Enunciate and speak clearly. While it may sound cliché. not the alarm again” think of all that can be accomplished in a bright.3. learn to graciously accept all that life has to offer–the good and the bad. Be More Mindful The past can never be changed and worry about the future is futile. Assertiveness is the way to tell others what your needs are and how these can be met. Avoid . Convey confidence through something as simple as posture. have a firm handshake. move in the present time and cope only with the present situation as it unfolds. complaining about either is a pointless exercise. Even bad circumstances will change.

sometimes it is best to lower the stress and simply roll with the consequences. Everyone makes mistakes and being critical leads to complaining. It is simply impossible to be in control of every situation. 5. Be firm and express what you want clearly. which may lead to awkward and unproductive pauses. Should of. or a nicely fitting suit or dress. list your weaknesses and how to downplay them. .rambling. would of. and could of are phrases that’s better left out of your vocabulary. Let go of control. List your strengths to build confidence and. Don’t leave your meaning to guess work. Acknowledge a job well done. on a better day. Compliment yourself and others. Be Less Judgmental This includes yourself.

Be Responsible Own your mistakes. .6. There is no reason not to. Let them carry their complaints elsewhere. Begin by thinking highly of yourself and your decisionmaking process. Keep people in your life who respect you. The first step to being responsible is self-respect. Through garnering people in your life that like and respect you. Eject chronic complainers. you will naturally reciprocate the respect. but never the mistakes of others. and fail miserably at taking advantage of you.

there are people and situations that will annoy you.” The thing that is creating a problem cannot last forever.7. Most problems are temporary and fleeting. As you follow these steps and lessen the habit of complaining. . be gentle with yourself. Above everything else. Sure. Move forward with self-assurance and confidence. Spending time in self-doubt is ultimately a waste. This is no excuse to dwell on the negativity. Take note of self-doubt and then release these thoughts. Keep Moving Forward Absolutely refuse to allow life’s obstacles to keep you from moving onward. Make your decision and follow through. Stop complaining about things beyond your control. Understanding this is the key to moving forward. Remember. “this too shall pass. you will find yourself leading a more confident lifestyle.

Here are some helpful questions to help you choose an option:  Is there anything I can do about it or is it outside of my control?  What do I want instead?  What am I grateful for?  How can I avoid this in the future?  Can I change what I’m doing to help the situation?  If I can do something. Speak out and offer possible solutions 4. The purpose is to train your mind to focus on solutions. what you want and solutions. and what you want instead of complaints. Second you’ll have 4 alternative options: 1. The first step is to not complain! There will be many times throughout the day when you may feel like complaining and you may have complaining type thoughts. Change the way you look at the situation 3.How to Stop Complaining What do you do when confronted with a situation that you would normally complain about? You want to direct your conscious focus on what you’re grateful for. Accept it as something you cannot change and recognize the futility and destructiveness in complaining about it. who do I need to talk to about it? What do I want? What are some possible solutions I could offer? . but instead you will stop yourself short of repeatedly verbalizing your grievances. Change your behavior 2. what you’re grateful for.

If you state something you would like to see changed once and with possible solutions it is okay. As long as you’re focused on what your grateful for. what we want and possible solutions. For example we wouldn’t consider this a complaint:My Parmesan Chicken was really good. Even if it happens on day 25 you start back at day 1. I didn’t like how long it took to get our food at the restaurant. This is not an easy experiment and could take you a very long time to make it 30 consecutive days. bracelet.30 Day Complaint Free Experiment We are also attempting to reduce our complaints and to increase our focus on what we are grateful for. . Please don’t be too hard on yourself. what you want and possible solutions you’re going in the right direction. (so far a possible complaint) I would’ve preferred to be in and out in one hour. I think next time I’ll either let the server know ahead of time if I’m in a hurry or I’ll go somewhere I know it will be faster (focuses on what she wants and what she could possibly do next time). rubber band or something on your wrist to remind you of the challenge and your commitment to it. Wear a ring. If you complain. what you’re grateful for and brainstorming possible solutions. switch the ring or bracelet to your opposite wrist or finger and start over at day 1. Say Yes to Love. So the challenge is to go 30 consecutive days without complaining. Constructive criticism is okay as long as you focus primarily on what you want (instead of what you don’t want). You’re most likely trying to change a habit that is deeply ingrained in you. We disagree with Bowen in that we believe you should be able to disagree with someone or point out something you would like to see change.

I found myself irritable from suppressing my complaints so I started abusing the word “fact” and stretching the truth about what is and what I perceive to be. Farnoosh Brock. So how are you getting on with no complaining? Just shy of 2 days in. pledge that I will not complain about anything to anyone (including myself) for the next 30 days.BLOG  ABOUT  WORK WITH ME  ARCHIVES  CONTACT Can’t Stop Complaining? 9 Ways You Forget to Channel the Energy Tweet Why It’s So Hard Not to Complain On November first. Here is the pledge: I. I asked you to follow me on a pledge to go complaint-free for a month. .

Who knows? We might even catch the lesson or two that life is trying to teach us with this approach! 9 Ways You Forget to Channel the Energy of Complaining 1. 2. So how do we do that? Our intention is good. Complaining is possibly harmful. make you unattractive and annoying. Let’s say you are about to express how awfully annoying and rude the driver in front of you is with his inconsistent erratic driving. We are cheering each other on inour complaintfree Facebook group and I am still getting pledges coming in on the complaint-free post. Poor guy!” And then give him your best wishes. and for you. Yes. But there’s more to it than telling yourself to just stop complaining as I have learned the hard way. 2. Complaining is completely useless. and I was just fooling myself into another way of getting a minimum amount of complaining out of my system. We both know the difference.The awareness is brutal. bouts of judgement and overdose of discretion. The reason to stop complaining is two-fold and simple: 1. and go around him to drive off. perfection is not what we are after. I screwed up many times! What I did not do is to give up on the challenge. You could say. Complaining is a form of energy and energy cannot be destroyed but it can be put to a different use. We have pledged to stop complaining. Let’s keep our nerves calm and our stress level at bay and keep breathing when something small goes astray. I admit. get curious. clear of quick judgement and ego overdose. It can become a nasty habit. Let’s talk about ways we can channel this brute force that comes out in the negative draining energy of a complaint into a constructive. I had no earthly clue that I was so fond of complaining!!! The awareness is the first step to understanding just how very much we all complain. “You know I wonder if he is having a bad day or if his boss just fired him? If I were him. Get Very Curious: This is the easiest and softest approach. Complaining does not help you in anyway and it does not make the situation at hand any better. useful and positive energy. Instead. See. I’d be driving right into a tree I’d be so mad. and shut your eyes to the actual reality of the situation. Healing from this irritable life-long habit is what I want for me. Change Your Opinion: . Facts are void of heated emotion. Let’s see if this helps us see the circumstance for what it really is. Facts are just facts.

What you think about the restaurant’s service is an opinion. This will work even if you are by yourself. So what if you changed your opinion. What you think of your horrid boss is also an opinion. Instead of framing it like a complaint such as “Oh I can’t stand that stupid checkout girl – could she be any slower?” you could ask no one in particular: “What do you think of the way she is checking out her customers?” Is it possible that there’s way to look at the situation? . 4. and then a slow long exhale to release the air. it be not a fact. pause and ask a question. Ask a Question: Instead of expressing your “justified” complaint. a 3 second hold. You made it up you know? You can also change it. but unless it’s a fact. The deep breath consists of a big inhale. If you hesitate just 1 minute and channel that negative energy into 3 to 4 deep breaths and then lunge into it. Take 3 Deep Breaths: Deep breaths are a miracle and you know it even if you don’t want to admit it. Repeat 3 times. 3. Maybe the service is great but today is a bad day for telling. What you think about the quality of your father’s temper is again an opinion. Maybe your father is angry because his life was really hard and you’d never understand that. there is no way the complaint would have the same brute force. Maybe your boss is horrid because his boss treats him like crap.Your ego will tell you that your opinion is the same as fact.

I would turn it into an affirmation by saying: “I release my frustration about people who ignore my emails. tell yourself: I am done giving my power away. maybe about your horrid boss. Use Positive Affirmations: The complaint is a negative affirmation – it affirms the negative. Focus on what serves you best and let the energy of complaining turn into a healing energy ofacceptance and joy for what is. not strong. use that tension to walk around the office or to stretch at your desk for 2 minutes or work on that exit strategy with me. “Is it absolutely and positively true?” And you will begin to see that there is a chance your thoughts could be at fault and better thoughts can take their place. Ashtanga yoga practice is my meditation. you are happy and if it displeases you. 8. Complaining is when you are outside yourself. Meditate On It: Yes. Use Physical Exercise: This does not have to be a whole workout routine. frustrated and annoyed after complaining. Right? So the last way you can channel that energy is by putting back that power back into your own sexy little hands and stop giving it away! Next time a complaint reaches your beautiful lips. I know. 6. This can be a quick stretch and a walk around the block to release tension energy and give you some time away from the circumstance. and a victim not a winner. You can use moving meditation such as walking. complaining puts the power – your power – out into someone else or something else. Next time it comes to mind. .breathing and moving (even for 10 minutes!) and being in nature as all forms of meditation. I am a huge fan of meditation but I find it very hard to sit still and meditate. An affirmation is a present-tense phrase used in the first person with only active verbs.5. So if my complaint is “I can’t stand it when people email me and then never reply to my answer!”. you complain. so use the energy to ground and center your body. Feel any different? 7. It affirms your thoughts and opinions and you can just as easily turn it around into a positive affirmation. however you can achieve it. Reclaim Your Own Power: Believe it or not. This applies to more long-term complaints. You feel helpless. So start questioning your thoughts. so find one that you tend to repeat.” 9. The first and simplest question is “Is it true?” and then you poke deeper. You feel weak. Question Your Thoughts: Your thoughts shape your reality and you react to that reality. Meditation simply means shutting out the outside noise and grounding yourself. If it pleases you.

Start today. it is not too late to join the complaint-free challenge. Join us on the Facebook page! One last thing before you go: Grab my FREE confidence book as a sneaky little way of nipping that complaining habit in the bud! . Start this minute.If you are just reading this for the first time.