The Wedding Guests By Richard Knight

30th January 2010

Richard Knight 2009

Freshly Made Films Harts Farm, Pinfold Lane Abbots Bromley Rugeley Staffordshire WS15 3AF

1. HOTEL ROOM - EVENING SOPHIE (38, petite, beautiful) and DAN (35, tall, handsome, designer stubble) bustle into a hotel room. They both carry wine glasses. They are very smartly dressed. DAN I’m ready for a sit down. Are you getting changed? SOPHIE No, I’m going to stay like this. DAN I want to get changed. SOPHIE You can’t, you’re the best man. DAN I feel like a penguin. SOPHIE You look like one too. Dan sits on the bed and starts to remove his tie and shoes. DAN We’re alright for time though, aren’t we? SOPHIE Yeah. Think so. She sits on the bed and sticks a shoe towards his face. SOPHIE Do mine. He carefully removes the shoe, and sniffs her foot. DAN Phew! SOPHIE They don’t smell! DAN Yeah they do. She play hits him.


CONTINUED: DAN (CONT’D) Of roses of roses! He undoes the other one. DAN (CONT’D) Man they are so sexy. SOPHIE I thought you’d like them. DAN You alright to dance in them? SOPHIE I dunno, they’re a bit high. DAN You gonna walk on me in them? SOPHIE Maybe. Dan removes the other shoe. Stunning. DAN Do you love your shoes more than me? SOPHIE They’re Jimmy Choos babe, and I’m a girl. (beat) Why even try to compete? They lean back onto the bed together. SOPHIE (CONT’D) Ahh.. bliss. DAN What do you reckon then? SOPHIE I thought it went very well. DAN I can’t believe they did it. (beat) His speech was alright.


Sophie stares longingly at it.



CONTINUED: SOPHIE I thought he spoke well, considering he’s normally so shy. Yeah. DAN Did you see my mum though? SOPHIE No.. what? DAN He was going on about the house and she was looking at him like, "don’t start James." (beat) He’s got his work cut out with her. SOPHIE He’s married your sister though, not her. DAN Technically yes, but we’re such a close knit family. It’s like "cut one of us and we all bleed." SOPHIE Babe this is Derby, you make it sound like Sicily. DAN Yeah but we are though. That’s what Jim used to say, "are all the mafia coming?" (double beat) You met Aunty Margaret then? SOPHIE Which one’s Aunty Margaret? DAN In the churchyard. dress. Bright red


SOPHIE Oh her! She was fabulous. She said, "Darling, marriage is hokum. We’ll all be back again for number three." DAN We won’t. She’s got the right one this time.




SOPHIE Awww, like I have? DAN (smiles) Yeah. SOPHIE You told anyone about me? DAN Hell no. She straddles him and kisses him. SOPHIE Good boy. DAN You do know there’s at least three of my family convinced I’m gay. SOPHIE (kidding) You are. DAN It’s not fair though. SOPHIE Of course it’s fair. (beat) You get to have your cake.. and eat me. DAN Yeah but I’ve been "plus guest" so many times they think it’s my surname. SOPHIE It’s because you haven’t met the right person yet. DAN Have I not? (loaded) Wonder how long I’ll have to wait? SOPHIE I don’t know. It took me ages and I’m older than you.




DAN Yeah, much older. She whacks him, playful. DAN (CONT’D) Seriously though, I can’t believe you haven’t found a better lover than me. SOPHIE Neither can I babe. DAN Especially as you’ve clearly set the bar so low. SOPHIE Let’s just say you have a certain.. (she grabs his crotch) ..charm. Dan lies back and stretches out his arms, knocking half a glass of red wine off the bedside table and onto the floor. DAN Aww bollocks. Sophie heads to the bathroom and comes back with tissues. DAN (CONT’D) Sorry. SOPHIE It’s fine. She starts to dab with tissues at the red wine. over for her glass of white. SOPHIE (CONT’D) What are you doing? DAN You have to put white wine on it, to get it out. She takes the glass from him. SOPHIE Err, don’t think so. She takes a big gulp of the wine. Dan reaches




SOPHIE (CONT’D) Just ’cause you throw yours all over the place doesn’t mean you can throw mine too. DAN I’m so clumsy. SOPHIE Doesn’t matter, could have been worse. At least it wasn’t full. (beat) Come on.. bath. DAN Have we got time? SOPHIE If we’re quick. The pair of them start to undress. Dan undoes Sophie’s dress without her asking him. He sits on the bed and drags her towards him, amorously. SOPHIE (CONT’D) There isn’t time for that. DAN (puppy dog) Aww. But I want to. SOPHIE No. 2. HOTEL - BATHROOM - LATER SOPHIE and DAN sit in the bath. He sits between her legs. She uses a cleaning pad on his back. He’s loving it. Lower. DAN Oh yeah. Perfect.

Sophie stops scrubbing, leans forward and picks at something. DAN (CONT’D) Ow. What’s that? SOPHIE It’s a spot.




DAN No way. (beat) You sure it’s not a mole? (beat) I’ve got a mole near there. SOPHIE It’s not a mole. (beat) Hang on. (beat) It might be a mole. DAN You’re not supposed to mess with them. SOPHIE I know. (beat) You should keep an eye on that. DAN What - is it getting bigger? SOPHIE (defensive) How should I know? map of your back.

I haven’t got a

DAN You should draw one, for future reference. (beat) It could save my life. SOPHIE You’re such a drama queen. (beat) Do me now. DISSOLVE TO: They’ve swapped places. back. She jumps. He pours some shower creme onto her

SOPHIE That’s freezing! DAN (not sorry) Sorry. (CONTINUED)



He rubs. SOPHIE That’s nice. (double beat) So who’s coming tonight? DAN I don’t know. There’ll be a load of her mates, then all the cousins from Warwick are coming. SOPHIE More cousins? DAN Yeah. SOPHIE Bloody hell. He scrubs her some more, reaching round to her front. SOPHIE (CONT’D) Oi, steady. (double beat) Is it gonna be cheesy disco? Of course wedding. package. drunk and fight.. DAN it is. It’s a It’s part of the Everyone gets really then there’s got to be a

SOPHIE So long as it doesn’t involve you. DAN ’Course not. (beat) We don’t fight that much. almost never fatal. SOPHIE Tony will. DAN What? SOPHIE Get drunk, say something aggressive, maul me round the dance (MORE) (CONTINUED)

And it’s



SOPHIE (cont’d) floor for half a song.. and then pass out. DAN Shocking. SOPHIE Does it bother you? DAN What - that Tony gets legless? That’s up to him. SOPHIE No, to see me dancing with him. DAN Babe, you can dance with whoever you like. SOPHIE Yes I know - I do - thank you. They sit for a while. SOPHIE (CONT’D) You do realise my family get togethers are about a hundred times smaller than this. DAN And you’re the black sheep, yes. SOPHIE Baa. (double beat) If we get married it’ll be the first two rows my family, the rest of the church.. your family. DAN You can’t possibly get married in a church. SOPHIE Of course I can, I’m going to. DAN Really - when?




SOPHIE We need to talk about it. rather than later though. DAN (genuinely surprised) Shit. (beat) Can I come?


SOPHIE Babe you’ll be pride of place. DAN (sarcastic) Oh thanks. SOPHIE Marriage doesn’t spell the end of dirty sex you know. DAN It ought to, don’t you think? Nah. SOPHIE It’ll just make it better.

DAN You are mad, you do know that? SOPHIE Certified. They sit for a while. SOPHIE (CONT’D) It’s a lovely hotel. DAN I bring all my lovers here. SOPHIE (sarcastic) Ahh, that’s nice. so special. A quiet moment.

You make me feel

Dan stares at the wall with interest.

DAN Look at that.


CONTINUED: SOPHIE What? DAN How the light is bouncing off the tiles. (beat) Glorious. (double beat) Do you really see no end to it? SOPHIE To what? DAN Living like this. SOPHIE I don’t know. I don’t really think about it. DAN I do. SOPHIE I know you do. DAN Sometimes I wish we were normal. SOPHIE I don’t do normal babe, normal’s boring. (beat) If you want to stop just tell me. DAN (resigned) Yeah. (beat) I just can’t believe the massive gap between how things are.. and how I want them to be. Dan drifts off in thought, and then belches loudly. DAN (CONT’D) And we’re back in the room. SOPHIE So uncouth. Sophie sits up, and reaches for a towel.





Come on.

SOPHIE (CONT’D) I’m getting all wrinkly. DAN

Erm, babe? SOPHIE Yes? DAN I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think you had them before you got in? She whacks him again. 3. HOTEL ROOM - EVENING SOPHIE sits drying her hair in her unzipped dress while DAN puts his suit back on. He sits back on the bed as she finishes drying her hair. She very deliberately puts her stockings on. Watching intently, he raises an eyebrow, James-Bond like. She smiles. Without being asked he stands up and zips the dress up, kissing the back of her neck as he goes. He sits back on the bed and puts his shoes on, and she puts her shoes on too, fastening the straps. Holding a pen, he reads the hotel breakfast menu while she sorts her make-up. DAN I think we should have breakfast in bed, do you? SOPHIE Lover, that’s just filthy talk. DAN Can I get a paper too? SOPHIE Of course you can. You can do exactly what you like. He puts the menu down.




DAN Sophie? (beat) Am I the best man? Sophie shrugs her shoulders. No comment.

She finishes her make-up and stands before the mirror. SOPHIE How do I look? She looks a million dollars. DAN You’ll do. (beat) You scrub up well for a chav. She pulls him towards her and kisses him deeply. SOPHIE Give me five? DAN Of course. Sophie breaks their embrace, and walks to the door, turning and smiling seductively. DAN (CONT’D) Just go. She slips out of the door. back on the bed. Dan stays in the room and lies

DAN (CONT’D) What am I doing? He looks around, contemplating the emptiness of the room. On the pillow he sees.. Sophie’s tiny black lace thong. picks it up and puts it in his pocket. He

DISSOLVE TO: 4. HOTEL LOBBY - LATER DAN, slightly disheveled, enters a busy lobby full of wedding guests. As he scans the room, he’s approached from the side, by TONY.




TONY (brash) Alright bro’, where you been? Hi Tony. DAN Just freshened up. She smiles sweetly.

On Tony’s arm - his girlfriend SOPHIE. DAN (CONT’D) Hi Sophie. Hi Dan. SOPHIE Come here..

She reaches over and straightens Dan’s tie. TONY Come on - we better hit the bar while it’s all still free. Dad’s only put a grand behind it, the cheapskate. Tony and Sophie walk towards the bar, Tony puts his hand on Sophie’s knickerless butt. She glances back at Dan and smiles provocatively. SOPHIE (to Tony) G & T please babe. FADE OUT

Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful