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The Way of a Virgin
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Virginity and its Traditions The Enchanted Ring The Instrument The Timorous Fiancee Adventures with Hedvige and Helene at Geneva The Damsel and the Prince The Penitent Nun Adventures with Hedvige and Helene at Geneva Beyond the Mark The Devil in Hell The Wedding Night of Jean the Fool The Maiden Well Guarded Tale of Kamar al-Zaman The Fool "Oh Mother, Roger with his Kisses Foolish Fear The Princess who Pisseth over the Haycocks The Comb The Skirmish The Nightingale The Pike's Head The Lovely Nun and her Young Boarder John and Joan The Husband as Doctor The Priest and the Labourer The Two Lovers and the Two Sisters The Burned Yard Take Time by the Forelock First Meeting Between a Youth and His Fiancee The Breaker of Eggs
TALE OF KAMAR AL-ZAMAN.
King Shahriman had a son, Kamar al-Zaman, who "grew up of surpassing beauty and symme- try ," but was unwilling to marry. For this he is eventually cast into prison. A similar fate has be- fallen Princess Budur, daughter of King Ghayur, Lord of China Islands and Seas, and for a similar reason. The maiden is pictured as one "than whom Allah hath made none fairer in her time with cheeks like purple wine... lips as coral. breasts like two globes of ivory, from whose brightness the moons borrow light, and a stomach with little waves as it were a figured cloth with crease like
The Way of a Virgin folded scrolls, ending in a waist slender past all imagination; based upon back parts like a hillock of blown sand, that force her to sit when she would lief stand " Two genii, Maymunah, a woman, and Dah- nash, a man,now come into the story, the former as a champion of Kamar, the latter as Princess Bu- dur's. After a long dispute as to the rival charms of Prince and Princess, they convey the latter to the Prince's side, the test of beauty to be as follows : Each is to be awakened in turn, without knowledge of the other, and whichever is the more enamoured will be held inferior in comeliness. Dahnash then changes himself into a Yea, and bites Kamar al-lLaman, who wakes up. The text continues: Then turning sideways, he found lying by him something whose breath was sweeter than musk and whose skin was softer than cream. Here- at he marvelled with great marvel, and he sat up and looked at what lay beside him; when he saw it to be a young lady like an union pearl, or a shin- ing sun, or a dome seen from afar on a well-built wall : for she was five feet tall bosomed high and rosy-cheeked And when Kamar al-Zaman saw the lady Bu- dur, daughter of King Ghayur, and her beauty and comeliness, she was sleeping clad in a shift of Venetian silk, without her petticoat trousers, and wore on her head a kerchief embroidered with gold and set with stones of price; her ears were hung with twin earrings which shone like constel- lations, and round her neck was a collar of union pearls, of size unique, past the competence of any king. When he saw this, his reason was confounded and natural heat began to stir in him; Allah awoke in him the desire of coition and he said to himself: "Whatso Allah willeth, that shall be, and what he willeth not shall be!" So saying, he put out his hand, turning her over, loosed the collar of her chemise; then arose before his sight her bosom, with its breasts like double globes of ivory; whereat his inclination for her redoubled and he desired her with exceeding hot desire. He would have awakened her but she would not awake, for Dahnash had made her sleep heavy; so he shook her and moved her, saying: "O my beloved, awake and look on me ; I am Kamar al-Zaman." But she awoke not, neither moved her head ; whereupon he considered her case for a long hour and said to himself: "If I guess aright, this is the damsel to whom my father would have married me, and these three years I have refused her; but Inshallah! God willing as soon as it is dawn, I will say to him: Marry me to her, that I may enjoy her; nor will I let half the day pass ere I possess her and take my fill of her beauty and loveliness." Then he bent over Budur to buss her, whereat the Jinniyah Maymunah trembled and was abash- ed and Dahnash, the Ifrit, was like to fly for joy. But as Kamar al-Zaman was about to kiss her on the mouth, he was ashamed before Allah and turned away his head and averted his face, saying to his heart: "Have patience." Then he took thought awhile and said : "I will be patient; haply my father when he was wroth with me and sent me to his jail, may have brought my young lady and made her lie by my side to try me with her, and may have charged her not to be readily awakened when I would arouse her, and may have said to her: " 'Whatever thing Kamar al-Zaman do to thee, make me ware thereof; "Or belike my sire standeth hidden in some stead whence (being himself unseen) he can see all I do with this young lady; and to-morrow he will scold me and cry: " 'How cometh it that thou sayest, I have no mind to marry; and yet thou didst and embrace yonder damsel?' "So I will withhold myself lest I be ashamed before my sire; and the right and proper thing to do is not to touch her at this present, nor even to look upon her, except to take from her somewhat which shall serve as a token to me and a
The Way of a Virgin memorial of her; that some sign endure between me and her." Then Kamar al-Zaman raised the young lady's hand and took from her littre finger a seal- ring worth an immense amount of money, for that its bezel was a precious jewel and set it on his own; then, turning his back to her, went to sleep.* Thereupon Maymunah changed herself into a flea and entering into the raiment of Budur, the loved of Dahnash, crept up her calf and came up- on her thigh and, reaching a place some four ca- ratst below her navel, there bit her. Thereupon she opened her eyes and sitting up in bed, saw a youth lying beside her and breathing heavily in his sleep, the loveliest of Almighty Allah's crea- tures, with eyes that put to shame the fairest Houris of Heaven; and a mouth like Solomon's seal, whose water was sweeter to the taste and more efficacious than a theriack, and lips the colour of coral-stone, and cheeks like blood-red anemone "The young man," says Sir Richard Burton, in a footnote, "must have been a demon of chastity." t Carat=one finger-breath here. The derivation is from the Greek Keration, a bean, the seed of the abrus precatorius. Note by Sir Richard Burton. 119 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. Now when Princess Budur saw him, she was seized by a transport of passion and yearning and love-longing, and she said to herself : "Alas, my shame! This is a strange youth and I know him not. How cometh he to be lying by my side on one bed?" Then she looked at him a second time and, noting his beauty and loveliness, said: "By Allah, he is indeed a comely youth and my heart is well-nigh torn in sunder with longing for him! But alas, how am I shamed by him! By the Almighty, had I known it was youth who sought me in marriage of my father, I had not re- jected him, but had wived with him and enjoyed his loveliness!" Then she gazed in his face and said: "O my lord and light of mine eyes, awake from sleep and take thy pleasure in my beauty and grace." And she moved him with her hand ; but May- munah the Jinniyah let down sleep upon him as it were a curtain, and pressed heavily on his head with her wings so that Kamar al-Zaman awoke not. Then Princess Budur shook him with her hands and said: "My life on thee, hearken to me; awake and up from thy sleep and look on the narcissus and the tender down thereon, and enjoy the sight of naked waist and navel ; and touzle me and tumble me from this moment till break of day! Allah up- on thee, O my lord, sit up andprop thee against the pillow and slumber not!" Still Kamar al-Zaman made her no reply but breathed hard in his sleep. Continued she: "Alas! Alas! thou art insolent in thy beauty 120 TALE OF KAMAR AL-ZAMAN. and comeliness and grace and loving looks! But if thou art handsome, so am I handsome; what then is this thou dost? Have they taught thee to flout me or hath my father, the wretched old fellow, made thee swear not to speak to me to-night?" But Kamar al-Zaman opened not his mouth neither awoke, whereat her passion for him redou- bled and Allah inflamed her heart with love of him. She stole one glance of eyes that cost her a thousand sighs: her heart fluttered, and her vitals throbbed and her hands and feet quivered; and she said to Kamar al-Zaman: "Talk to me, O my lord! Speak to me, O my friend ! Answer me, O my beloved, and tell me thy name, for indeed thou hast ravished my wit!"
The Way of a Virgin An during all this time he abode drowned in sleep and answered her not a word, and Princess Budur sighed and said: "Alas! Alas! why art thou so proud and self- satisfied?" Then she shook him and turning his hand over, saw her seal-ring on his little finger, whereat she cried a loud cry, and followed it with a sigh of passion and said: "Alack! Alack! By Allah, thou art my be- loved and thou lovest me! Yet thou seemest to turn thee away from me out of coquetry, for all, O my darling, thou earnest to me, whilst I was asleep and knew not what thou didst with me, and tookest my seal-ring; and yet I will not pull it off thy finger." So saying, she opened the bosom of his shirt and bent over him and kissed him and put forth her hand to him, seeking somewhat that she might take as a token, but found nothing. Then she thrust her hand into his breast and, because of the 121 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. smoothness of his body, it slipped down to his waist and thence to his navel and thence to his yard, whereupon her heart ached and her vitals quiver- ed and lust was sore upon her, for that the desire of women is fiercer than the desire of men,* and she was ashamed of her own shamelessness. Then she plucked his seal-ring from his fin- ger, and put it on her own instead of the the ring he had taken, and bussed his inner lips and hands, nor did she leave any part of him unkissed; after which she took him to her breast and embraced him and, laying one of her hands under his neck and the other under his arm-pit, nestled close to him and fell asleep by his side. When Princess Budur fell asleep by the side of Kamar al-Zaman, after doing that which she did, quoth Maymunah to Dahnash: "Sawst thou, O accursed, how proudly and coquettishly my beloved bore himself, and how hotly and passionately thy mistress showed herself to my dearling? There can be no doubt that my beloved is handsomer than thine; nevertheless I pardon thee." The two Ifrits went forward to Princess Budur and upraising her flew away with her; then, bearing her back to her place, they laid her on her own bed, while Maymunah abode alone with Ka- mar al-Zaman, gazing upon him as he slept, till the • In hot-damp climates the venereal requirements and reproductive powers of the female greatly exceed those of the male ......In cold-dry or hot-dry mountainous lands the reverse is the case; hence polygamy there prevails whilst the low countries require polyandry in either form, legal or illegal, i.e., prostitution. Note by Sir Richard Burton. See, also, excursus to this story, where the subject is dealt with at length. 122 TALE OF KAMAR AL-ZAMAN. night was all but spent, when she went her way. As soon as morning morrowed, the Prince awoke from sleep and turned right and left, but found not the maiden by him and said in his mind : "What is this business? It is as if my father would incline me to marriage with the damsel who was with me and have now taken her away by stealth, to the intent that my desire for wedlock may redouble." Then he called out to the eunuch who slept at the door, saying: "Woe to thee, O damned one, arise at once!" So the eunuch rose, bemused with sleep, and brought him basin and ewer, whereupon Kamar al-Zaman entered the water-closet and did his need ;* then, coming out, made the Wuzu-ablution and prayed the dawn-prayer, after which he sat telling on his beads the ninety-and-nine names of Almighty Allah
The Way of a Virgin Strictly speaking, the rest of the story, 'which, is of great length, is somewhat out of place in this volume. The reader, however, may beinterested to know the upshot of the stratagem adopted by the genii, so we take leave to give it, summarising where necessary. Kamar al-T/aman and the Princess Budur, madly in love but grief-stricken by their separa- tion, are eventually brought together and married. • "This morning evacuation," says Sir Richard Burton, in a footnote, "is considered, in the East, a sine qua non of health .The natives of India evening as well as morning. This may, perhaps, partly account for their mildness and effeminacy; for: 'C'est la con- stipation qui rend l'homme rigoureux.' " 123 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. Later, while on a journey, they are again separated by divers mischances, Kamar becoming an assist- ant to a gardener, while Budur, having adopted male garb to preserve her chastity, reaches the do- minios of^King Armanus. Here she is taken for a king's son, and Armanus, who is old, gives her his daughter Hay at al-Nufus in marriage and makes her lord of his kingdom. An embarassing situation now arises, Budur being unable to consummate the marriage or to explain her failure to the bride. Matters come to a crisis on the third night when Hay at speaks out. The text continues'. Hayat al-Nufus caught her by the skirt and clung to her, saying: "O my lord, art thou not ashamed before my father, after all his favour, to neglect me at such a time as this?" When Queen Budur heard her words, she sat down in the same place and said: "O my beloved, what is this thou sayest?" She replied: "What I say is that I never saw any so proud of himself as thou. Is every fair one so disdainful? I say not this to incline thee to me; I say it only of my fear for thee from King Armanus; because he purposeth, unless thou go in unto me this very night, and do away my maidenhead, to strip thee of the kingship on the morrow and banish thee his kingdom; and peradventure his excessive anger may lead him to slay thee. But I, O my lord, have ruth on thee and give thee fair warning; and it is thy right to reck." Now when Queen Budur heard her speak these words, she bowed her head groundwards awhile in sore perplexity and said in herself: 124 TALE OF KAMAR AL-ZAMAN. "If I refuse I'm lost; and if I obey I'm shamed. But I am now Queen of all the Ebony Is- lands and they are under my rule, nor shall I ever again meet my Kamar al-Zaman save in this place; for there is no way for him to his native land but through the Ebony Islands. Verily, I know not what to do in my present case, but I commit my care to Allah who directed all for the best, for I am no man that I should arise and open this virgin girl." Then quoth Queen Budur to Hayat al-Nufus: "O my beloved, that I have neglected thee and abstained from thee is in my own despite." And she told her her whole story from begin- ning to end and showed her person to her, saying: "I conjure you by Allah to keep my counsel, for I have concealed my case only that Allah may re-unite me with my beloved Kamar al-Zaman and then comewhat may." The Princess heard her with extreme won r
The Way of a Virgin derment and was moved to pity and prayed Allah to re-unite her with her beloved, saying: "Fear nothing, O my sister; but have patience till Allah bring to pass that which must come to pass O my sister, verily the breasts of the noble and brave are of secrets the grave; and I will not discover thine." Then they toyed and embraced and kissed and slept till near the Mu'ezzin's call to dawn-prayer, when Hayat al-Nufus arose and took a pigeon- poult,* and cut its throat over her smock and bes• "The belief that young pigeons' blood resembles the virginal discharge is universal," says Sir Richard Burton, in a footnote; "but 125 TALE OF KAMAR AL-ZAMAN. meared herself with its blood. Then she pulled off her petticoat-trousers and cried aloud, whereupon her people hastened to her and raised the usual lullilooing and outcries of joy and gladness We can omit a description of the manner in which Kamar al-Uaman is at length brought to the Ebony Islands, 'where honour and dignity are heaped upon him, in particular by Queen Budur, whom he believs to be a man and the king of the dominion. Growing suspicious of these favours, Kamar asks permission to depart. The text continues: Answered Kamar al-Zaman: "O King, verily this favour, if there be no reason for it, is indeed a wonder of wonder, more by token that thou hast advanced me to dignities such as befit men of age and experience, albeit I am as it were a young child." And Queen Budur rejoined: "The reason is that I love thee for thine ex- ceeding loveliness and thy surpassing beauty; and if thou wilt but grant me my desire of thy body, I the blood most resembling man's is that of the pig, which in other points is so very human. In our day Arabs and Hindus rarely sub- mit to inspection the nuptial sheet, as practised by the Israelites and Persians. The bride takes to bed a white kerchief with which she stanches the blood and next morning the stains are displayed in the Harem. In Darfour this is done by the bridegroom. "Prima Venus debet esse cduenta" (Love's first battle should be bloody), say the Easterns with much truth, and they have no faith in our complaisant creed which allows the hymen membrane to disappear by any but one accident." The creed, of course, is not peculiar to the East, and real- istic descriptions of this "sanguinary combat" will be found in Nicolas Chorier's Dialogues, Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure, (op. cit,), and other erotic works. C.f. also the modern custom of including a clean sheet among the bride's trousseau. Further remarks on this subject will be found in our preliminary essay to this volume, "Human Nature, Tradition, and Virginity." 126 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. will advance thee yet farther in honour and favour and largesse; and I will make thee Wazir, for all thy tender age, even as the folk made me Sultan over them and I no older than thou " When Kamar al-Zaman heard these words, he was abashed and his cheeks flushed till they seemed aflame; and he said: "I need not these favours which lead to the commission of sin; I will live poor in wealth but wealthy in virtue and honour." Quoth she: "I am not to be duped by thy scruples, arising from prudery and coquetish ways; and Allah bless him who saith : " To him I spake of coupling, but he said to me, ( Ho,
The Way of a Virgin Tell me, Mother, pray now do! Pray now do, pray now do, Pray now do, pray now do, Tell me, Mother, pray now do, Pray now, pray now, pray now do, What Roger means when he does so? For never stir I long to know. He sets me in his Lap whole Hours, Where I feel I know not what; Something I never felt in yours, Pray tell me Mother what is that? Tell me Mother what is that? For never stir I long to know. J. S. Farmer: Merry Songs and Ballads: Privately Printed, 1897: Words and Music in Pills to Purge Melancholy, (1707), 1, 214. 145
THE PRINCESS WHO PISSETH OVER THE HAYCOCKS.
A peasant died and left three sons. On their return home from the interment of their father, the three young men took counsel together. The dead man had not been wealthy, and he bequeathed to his sons only his house and a small piece of land. After much discussion, it was decided that the eldest should leave the house and land to his brethren, and go forth into the world to seek his fortune. If he succeeded, he would return forthwith to his brethren that they might share his good fortune, but if he did not return within a year and a day, the second brother should set out in search of him. This agreed, the eldest embraced his brethren and set forth. Sallying from the village, he discovered two roads. In perplexity, he tossed a coin in the air, and as it fell, so he made his choice. He journeyed long without encountering aught but inns and farms, where he spent the night, renewing his quest on the morrow. At length, after travelling fifteen days, he came to a magnificent castle. " 'Tis here perchance I shall find fortune," quoth he. "I will enter the castle and seek service within." But all the offices were filled. Going forth, he encountered the owner of the castle who was king of the countryside, and at his request the youth related his purpose in coming to this domain. Quoth the king: "Employment I have none to offer thee in my palace; but I have a better proposal to make. I have a daughter of the like not seen elsewhere on earth. She pisseth over the most lofty houses. All the physicians I have summoned cannot cure her, and it is a sad pity, for she is of surpassing beauty. If thou canst prevent her from pissing over the haycocks which thou shalt erect, thy fortune is made. I will give her to thee in marriage. If thou failest, thou shalt go join in their prison those imbeciles of physicians and charlatans who have already sought to succeed in this my proposal. Thou dost understand? See then if thou believest thyself capable of this achievement." The youth, having taken counsel with himself for several moments, accepted the king's proposal. This latter, leading him within the palace, set him to dine with his wife and daughter. The Princess was a marvel of beauty, and the peasant could not satiate his eyes of her perfections. He was apportioned a chamber in the castle, what time he awaited the dav of his trial. On the morrow the young adventurer chose a vast field, and thither caused to be borne five or six hundred loads of hay. Next he took a hundred peasants and set them to erect an enormous haycock. If the Princess doth succeed in pissing o'er this heap of hay," he thought, "I am mad." And he went to tell the king the haycock was ready. On the morrow came the Princess; and she fell to laughing when she saw the haycock. She raised her robe and pissed high o'er the heap of hay. The youth was thunderstruck. On the order of the king, they seized the youth and cast him into a dungeon with the physicians who had essayed the venture before him. A year and a day after the departure of his eldest brother, the second peasant set forth in his turn, taking the road followed by his brother one year before. Journeying fifteen days, he, too, came upon the castle, and, entering therein, demanded the work of a servant. Him also the king saw, putting the proposal he had made to his elder brother. Which proposal the youth accepted.
The Way of a Virgin Well received by the family of the Princess, he pictured himself already the son-in-law of the king, and built project upon project for the future. He chose a vast plain, and thither caused to be borne six thousand loads of hay. Next he took one thousand labourers and set them to erect the haycock. On the morrow the Princess approached the haycock, gave vent to a great shriek of laughter, raised her robe, and pissed high o'er the haycock. And the second brother went to join his elder in the dungeon of the king's palace. The youngest peasant was sore pained in that his brethren returned not. "Assuredly they have suffered some mischance in their travels," quoth he to himself. " 'Twere ill of me did I not set forth in search of them, and render them aid in their misfortune." He, in his turn, quitted the village. Chance took him by the same road as that taken by his brethren, and he came to the palace of the king who held them prisoner. He entered the palace, saw the king, and accepted the proposal made to him. At table he found the Princess adorable, and the Princess found him charming. This he perceived, and resolved never to quit her side. All night he dreamed of the Princess, nor did he wake till the sun was up. Then he fell to leisurely reflection. "All the same," said he to himself, "if I succeed in taking the maidenhead of the Princess before the trial, perchance she will not piss so high. I am convinced that all dependeth on her virginity. I will attempt this method." When day came, he arose and went to walk in the castle park. The Princess had not slept the whole night long, ever seeing the countenance of the young man. At daybreak she arose and went to walk in the park, where she encountered the young peasant. And this last did not let slip the occasion; he approached the young girl and avowed that he died of love for her. The Princess was easy of persuasion, and one hour afterward she had lost her maidenhead. Then she re-entered the palace, the youth walking till hour of the morning meal, when he, too, entered the palace if naught had happened. At noontide he caused to be borne into a corner of the park a single load of hay; then told the king that he was ready for the trial. And when the king, accompanied by his daughter, approached the tiny haycock which had been erected by the young man, he cried out that the trial was not serious, and he counselled the peasant to construct a much loftier haycock. But the peasant affirmed that the heap of hay was sufficient, whereat the king ordered his daughter to piss. Who was the most astonished? Truly the king and the Princess, when the latter only succeeded in watering her stockings, for the charming channel, wherein the young man had laboured with the girl, from being narrow, had grown great. Judge, though she did not let the youth perceive it, was likewise satisfied. And the king gave his daughter to the young man,their nuptials were celebrated, the young peasants became princes, and all lived happily ever afterward.
An old man bought a sheep's cloak for his wife, and he futtered her the whole night long at the foot of the fence. In the morning the weather was damp, and the old woman, with back bent, went weeping; but the old man followed and mounted her. Said the woman to her husband: "Tear me not in this fashion, Gabriel!" But the man was hard of hearing, knew not what she said, thrust his yard into her, and futtered her dog-fashion The eye is ne'er too weary to see, nor the backside to fizzle, nor the nose to take snuff, nor the coynte to lose the chance of goodly futter But this way of a prelude a foreword. there lived a pope, who possessed a daughter, a virgin and an artless. And when summer came the pope was wont to hire workmen to mow the hay; and he hired them in this wise: If his daughter pissed o'er the haycock which the workman had mown, the man went wageless. • Kruptadia : Heilbronn, Henninger Frercs, 1883, vol. 1: Secret Stories from tlu Russian.
The Way of a Virgin t A priest of the Greek Church. 158 THE COMB. Workmen a-plenty hired themselves to the pope, but, one and all, they laboured wageless; the daughter, whatsoe'er the height of the haycock, pissed o'er it. Yet another workman and a bold did accept the conditions; if the pope's daughter pissed o'er the haycock which he had mown, no claim for his work he make. Then mowed the workman his hay; when he had mown it and set it in a heap, he lay down beside the haycock, drew forth his yard from his drawers and fell to toying with it. The pope's daughter drew nigh to the workman to scrutinise the haycock, cast a glance at him, and said: "What dost thou, little peasant?" "I rub my comb." "What dost comb with this comb of thine?" "Come I will comb thee. Lie down on the hay." The pope's daughter lay down on the hay, the workman fell to combing her, and he winnowed her as was proper. Anon the young girl rose up and said: "What a delicious comb!" Afterwards she sought to piss o'er the hay- cock; of no avail; she did piss upon herself, as it might run from a sieve. Seeking out her father, she spake him, saying: "The haycock is too high; I may not piss o'er it." "Ah! my daughter! here in sooth is a goodly workman. I will hire him for a year." And when the workman came to receive his wage, the pope said: "Friend, hire thyself to me for a year." 159 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. "I am willing," quoth the workman; and he hired himself to the pope. Most contented, too, was the pope's daughter, and when night came she sought the workman, saying: "Comb me!" "Nay, I will not comb thee for nought. Give me one hundred roubles. Buy the comb." The pope's daughter gave him one hundred roubles, and nightly he combed her. Came a time when the workman fell out with the pope, saying: "Render me my wage, little father." His wage rendered, the workman went his way. Now the pope's daughter was not present when these things were done, but when she return- ed to the house she inquire,d: "Where is the workman?" He demanded his wage and is gone forhtwith to the village," quoth the pope. "Ah! little father! what hast thou done? He hath carried off my comb!" cried the pope's daughter. She hastened in pursuit, and came upon him by a little stream; the workman had tucked up his drawers and was fording the stream. "Give me my comb!" cried the pope's daughter. The workman took a stone and cast into the water. "Pick it up," said he; and, passing to the other side of the stream, went his way.
The Way of a Virgin The pope's daughter tucked up her petticoat, entered the water, and sought the comb. She rum- maged at the bottom of the stream. No comb. Chanced to pass a lord, who cried to her: 160 THE COMB. "What seekest, little dove?" "My comb! Ihave purchased it from a work- man for one hundred roubles; departing, he car- ried it off with him. Him I pursued, and he cast the comb in the water." The lord descended from his carriage, re- moved his breeches, and entered the water in search of the comb. They searched; together they searched. On a sudden the pope's daughter per- ceived that a yard hung 'twixt the lord's legs. She seixed it with both hands, gripped it fast, and cried : "Shame on thee, lord! 'Tis my comb! Give it me!" "What dost thou, shameless one? Leave hold of me!" said the lord. "Nay, 'tis thou who art shameless! Thou wouldst take what pertains to another. Give me my comb!" And she dragged him by his yard to her father. The pope gazed through the window. Be- hold, his daughter dragged a lord by his yard and never ceased from crying: "Give me my comb, wretched fellow!" what time the lord made plaint- ive sound, saying: "Little father, deliver me from a death not deserved! All my life I will not for- get thee!" From his drawers the pope drew forth his yard, displayed it to his daughter through the win- dow, and cried: "My daughter! my daughter! Here is thy comb!" "Truly 'tis mine!" cried the daughter. "Be161 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. hold its red end! And I thought the lord had taken it!" And she released this unfortunate and sped into the house. The lord drew on his hose and took to his heels. The girl came running into the house. "Where is my comb, little father?" "Ah! what a daughter!" grumbled the pope. "See, little mother. I believe she hath lost her maidenhead." "Examine her thyself, little father," said the popess. "That will be better." The pope lowered his drawers and gave the comb to his daughter. When they were in action, the pope gasped and cried: "No, no the girl hath not lost her honour " Quoth the popess: "Little father, push her honour yet further back." "Fear not, little mother. She will not let it fall. I have pushed it far." Thus went the pope's daughter to the comb. Henceforth the pope combed them both, regaling them with his little 'doll,'* passing his life in fut- tering both daughter and mother. • French Poupee, which, in the slang phraseology of that language, properly denotes a harlot. On the other hand, we have the term dolly as a synonym for penis. (C.f. Farmer: Slang and its An- alogues.) This use of poup^e, which, of course, is literally translated" bydoll, is peculiar; our French lexicographers do not include it ia their lists of synonyms for the membrum virile.
The Way of a Virgin 162
EXCURSUS TO THE PRINCESS WHO PISSETH OVER THE HYCOCK AND THE COMB.
The main theme of these two stories the ability of a virgin girl to urinate to a great height is founded on physiological fact, although, of course, grossly distorted and exaggerated. "In children," says Havelock Ellis, (Studies in the Psychology of Sex, vol. 5: Erotic Symbolism}, "the vulva appears to look directly forward and the clitoris and urinary meatus easily appear, while in adult women, and especially after at- tempts at coitus have been made, the vulva appears directed more below and behind, and the clitoris and meatus more covered by the labia majora; so that the child urinates forward, while the adult woman is usually able to urinate almost directly downwards in the erected position, though in some cases (as may occasionally be observed in the street) she can only do so when bending slightly forwards. "This difference in the direction of the stream formerly furnished one of the methods of diagnos- ing virginity, an uncertain one, since the difference is largely due to age and individual variation. The main factor in the position and aspect of the vulva is pelvic inclination......" Havelock Ellis, later on in the same volume of his Studies, again refers to the subject: 163 EXCURSUS. "A sign to which the old authors often attach- ed much importance was furnished by the urinary stream. In the De Secretis Mulierum, wrongly at- tributed to Albertus Magnus,* it is laid down that 'the virgin urinates higher than the woman.' Rio- Ian, in his Anthropographia, discussing the ability of virgins to ejaculate urine to a height, states that Scaliger had observed women who were virgins emit urine in a high jet against a wall, but that married women could seldom do this. Bonaciolus also stated that the urine of virgins is emitted in a small stream to a distance with an acute hissing sound. (Parthenologia, p. 281. )t There is no doubt a tendency for the various stresses of sexual life to produce an influence in this direction, though they act far too slowly and uncertainly to be a reliable index to the presence or the absence of virginity. "Another common ancient test of virginity by urination rests on a psychic basis, and appears in a variety of forms which are really all reducible to the same principle. Thus we are told in De Secre- tis Mulierum that to ascertain if a girl has been • "Already in the thirteenth century, Albert Bollstoedt, Bishop of Ratisbonne, better known as Albertus Magnus, had, in spite of his clerical profession, furnished much scabrous matter concerning the opposite sex in his work De Secretis Mulierum." Centuria Librorum Absconditorum: Pisanus Fraxi (Ashbee) : London: Privately Printed, 1897. The compiler of this monumental work and the two companion volumes, Index Librorum Prohibitorum and Catena Librorum Tacen- dorum, would seem to be at variance with Havelock Ellis. A further reference to Albertus Magnus by Fraxi is worth giving: "Shall a bishop, raised to the See of Ratisbonne, (exclaims the erudite James Atkinson) and (still more monstrous) shall a canonised man, an 'in coelum sublevatus,' undertake a natural history of the most natural secret, inter secretalia ifceminea? Is the natural and divine law at once to be expounded, inter Scyllam et Charybdim, of defailance and human orgasm?" Medical Bibliography, p. 72. fWe have already referred to Schurig's work. 164 EXCURSUS.
The Way of a Virgin seduced she should be given to eat of powdered, crocus flowers, and if she has been seduced she im- mediately urinates. We are here concerned with auto-suggstion, and it may well be believed that with nervous and credulous girls this test often re- vealed the truth " The ancient custom, known in classic times, of measuring the neck the day after mar- riage was frequently practised to ascertain if a girl was or was not a virgin. There were various ways of doing this. One was to measure with a thread the circumference of the bride's neck before she went to bed on the bridal night. If in the morning the same thread would not go around her neck it was a sure sign that she had lost her virginity dur- ing the night; if it would, she was still a virgin or had been deflowered at an earlier period. Catullus alluded to this custom,* which still exists, or exist- ed until lately,! in the south of France. It is per- fectly sound, for it rests on the intimate response by congestion of the thyroid gland to sexual exite- ment. (Parthenologia, p. 283.)" • "Nor shall the nurse at orient light returning, with yester-e'en's thread succeed in circling her neck." The Carmina of Catulluss Englished into verse and prose by Sir R. F. Burton and L. C. Srnithers: London, 1894. Burton and Srnithers, apparently, were unaware of the medical significance of the test, for they add in a note: "The ancients, says Pezay, had faith in another equally absurd test of virginity. They measured the circumference of the neck with a thread. Then the girl under trail took the two ends of the magic thread in her teeth, and if it was found to be so long that its bight could be passed over her head, it was clear she was not a maid. By this rule all the thin girls might pass for vestals, and all the plump ones for the reverse." t Havelock Ellis is writting in 1914. 165
Tullia. SWEET it is to me, dearest cousin, that thy • ^ marriage with Cavicea is finally concluded: for, the night which will make thee a wife in his embraces will, I assure thee, afford thee by far the greatest of all pleasures; provided Venus befriend thee, as this thy heavenly shape deserveth. Ottavia. My mother told me this morning that I am to be wedded to-morrow to Caviceo. And I see that the requisites for the pomp of this event are being prepared at home with great care: the bed, bed-room, and so forth. But, of course, these things cause less joy than fear in my soul; for, whatever in fine may be that pleasure of which thou, my dearest cousin, speakest, I neither know nor even imagine. Tullia. It should seem nowise strange that thou at this age and so soft (for thou hast barely attained • The Dialogues of Luisa Sigea: Translated from the Latin of Nicolas Chorier: Paris: Isidore Liseux, 1890. Our extract is from the opening lines of the first dialogue; the phraseology, at times, is our own. 166 THE SKIRMISH. thy fifteenth year) , dost not know what I, though older when I married, wholly ignored ; that de- light which Pomponia used to promise and so loudly extol, having been tasting it herself since three years. Ottavia.
The Way of a Virgin But what greatly surpriseth me is that thou shouldst wholly ignore it. Allow me to speak more openly now that I am on the eve of complete free- dom. For if the practice were lacking, which thou certainly hadst not, yet thy great learning must have disclosed these secrets to thee. I often hear thee extolled to the clouds in the most flattering terms, because thou art so skilled in Latin and Greek literature as in nearly all the liberal arts that there seemth to be naught which thou dost not know. Tullia. My father had so much to do in this, that, with the same zeal as most other girls are seeking after the reputation or being handsome and ele- gant, I was entirely bent on acquiring the honour of being a learned maid. And they that prefer to flatter than speak the truth, say: she hath not quite lost her time. Ottavia. They who will not flatter say also: scarcely have esteem of virtue, good morals remained with those of our sex who were considered learned, even when they obtained this honour. Tullia. Would they deny I am chaste, while owning I am learned? Ottavia. Ay, they would ; but thou hast won the admi- ration of all while taking care that thy learning did not interfere with thy good and chaste moralsj it hath produced an extraordinary prodigy. But how could it be possible that the Muses, who are styled virgins, should be deemed hostile to the hon- our of virgins? Why are they said to corrupt our minds, they who are as the ardour of our souls, stimulating us all, men and women alike, to grand and praiseworthy actions? Undoubtedly because men, from a certain haughty and silly malignity, envy us these resources of which they themselves are proud, by making us the victims of their jeal- ousy. Men shun every poison and venom just as we do, whom they call the weaker sex, because the same pest which may take our lives away, may take theirs away too. If learning be a venom and a pest for us, as they assert, how is it that so dangerous a thing, in order to be useful to men, (for they do not deny but that it is useful to them) , should change its nature all on a sudden? If learning is, of its very essence, a certain source of every evil and crime for us, how shall they drink out of the same source the nectaren waters of immortal glory: whilst we unhappy and wretched women shall drink a sort of sulphureous Stygian water which will excite us to those debaucheries, to which they drive us by their sway or lead us by their example? For, I remember that thou spokest thus on this subject a few days ago in thy conversa- tion with Caviceo. It is exceedingly nice of thee to have conserved until now that beauty which in- flameth even the coldest, with that learning which doth captivate those insensible of beauty. Tullia. Thou who speakest thus, thou who knowest that love inflameth men's hearts, art not so simple as I thought. Ottavia. Am I totally ignorant of what Caviceo's eyes, brow, in a word, his whole countenance so often told me, even though he were silent? I was indeed truly surprised at the unwonted fire of his kisses, when he made free with me eight days ago; I know but too well what that ardour and fire meant. Tullia. Thy mother was absent? thou wast alone? thou wast not at all afraid of him? Ottavia. My mother was gone out; but what was to be feared from him? Of course I feared naught. Tullia. All he asked was kisses? Ottavia. On the contrary, the fool took them against my will, brandishing his glowing tongue between my lips.
The Way of a Virgin Tullia. What sensation came over thee, then? Ottavia. I shall acknowledge it: some heat or other 169 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. hitherto unfelt passed through my veins; my whole frame was inflamed. He thought that a maiden blush bepainted my cheek; for a little while he forebore his folly and busy hand 1 shall ever hate those roguish hands, from the very fact that they with their fire impregnated me, tortured and wearied I Tullia. A nice affair! Ottavia. Why? having stuck his hand in my breast, he seized one of my paps, then the other; and while he was handling each of them rather hard, lo! he tossed me over on my back in spite of me. Tullia. Thou art blushing; the deed was accom- plished. Ottavia. His left hand was laid on my bosom (I am stating how the thing was done), he easily over- came all my efforts: he next slipped his right hand under my petticoat. I blush, I blush to tell it. Tullia. Lay aside that ridiculous modesty; fancy thou art relating to thyself what thou art telling me. Ottavia. Having speedily lifted my petticoat above my knees, he handled my thighs. Oh! hadst thou be- held his sparkling eyes! 170 THE SKIRMISH. Tullia. So thou wast happy then! Ottavia. Having carried his hand higher, he invaded that place which, they say, distinguisheth us from the other sex; ay, it is now a year ago, and ever since a lot of blood doth run from me every month during several days. Tullia. Bravo, Caviceo! ah! ah! ah! Ottavia. Oh, the rascal! "This part," he saith, "will soon rejoice me exceedingly. Do consent, my Ot- tavia." A little more and I had fainted at these words. Tullia. What did he then do? Ottavia. That part of me, thou wouldst scarcely be- lieve, hath a very small slit Tullia. But inflamed, but glowing. Ottavia. He thrust his finger into it, and, as the place could barely contain it, I felt a sharp pain throughout all my senses. But he: "I have a vir- gin," said he, and no sooner said than forcibly my thighs which I kept as tight as ever I could, he threw himself upon me.
The Way of a Virgin 171 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. Tullia. Thou art silent? he put naught but his finger in? Ottavia. I felt. but what effrontery is mine to speak so much about it! Tullia. And I too, whom thou makest so much of, have undergone it, as thou. Naught is more daring than a bridegroom, whom every delay doth exas- perate exceedingly, until he gathereth that flower of his bride. Ottavia. I soon felt some hard and warm mass between my thighs. He forced me to open; with a robust effort he directed that thing against my body and that slit. But I, having mustered up strength, threw myself to the other side, and slipping my left hand between us both, I laid it on that place where the fray was so furiously raging. Tullia. Thou couldst with one hand ward off so powerful a catapult? Ottavia. Yea. "O naughty man," would I say, "why dost thou annoy me thus? Let me go, if thou lovest me: by what crime have I deserved this torture?" And tears flowed from my eyes: but such was the state of my mind, that I did not even dare open my mouth or utter a cry to call for help. 172 THE SKIRMISH. Tullia. Withal Caviceo did not even pierce thee with his lance*? it did not enter into thy trench*? Ottavia. I seized it and held it aside, but unlucky event! I felt myself completely drenched with a shower like fire, and, naked as I was, wet up to the navel. I put my hand to it again; but when falling on that sort of slimy fluid with which the mad fel- low had flooded me, my hand recoiled from fright and horror. Tullia. Therefore neither was he vanquished nor thou victorious, since he was very near carrying off a real victory. Ottavia. Caviceo was far more agreable to me since that day. Nor do I know the powerful desire that doth agitate my soul. I ignore what I long for, and cannot mention it. All I know is that Caviceo pleaseth me far more than all mortals; I expect from him alone the supreme pleasure which I do not understand, as I ignore what it may be like. I desire naught and yet desire Here we end our extract from Luisa's Dialo- gues. We shall have occasion to quote from them again in subsequent volumes of Anthologia Raris~ sima. • Erotic terms in English, French and Latin slang, respectively, for the penis and female pudendum. (C.f. Farmer, op. cit.). 173 EXCURSUS TO THE SKIRMISH.
The Way of a Virgin Nicolas Chorier, the author of the Dialogues of Luisa Sigea (the book is commonly called the Aloisia or the Meursius, after the name of the sup- posed author or translator) was born at Vienne, Dauphiny, in 1612; he received a law-doctor's de- gree in 1639, and practised the profession of law- yer at the Court of Aids in his native town.* A man of cultivated mind, a passionate lover of letters, a first-rate Latinist, he devoted only a very limited part of his time to causes of the bar. While passing out of the Jesuit Academy, and during the course of his law studies, he tried his hand at a variety of works both in French and La- tin The composition of the Aloisia, or at least the first draft, for he must often have retouched this chief work, may be traced back to that time. "I wrote then," he tells us in his Memoirs, "Epis- tles,, Speeches, a Political Dissertation on the French alliance with the Ottoman Empire, and two Satires, the one Menippean, the other Sota• We are quoting from the English translator's "Notice of Nicolas Chorier" in the Liseux edition already mentioned. t The Sotadical Satire is so-called after Sotades, who lived three centuries before Christ, and whose erotic poems are unfortunately lost English Translator's note. According to a note in Priapeia (Cosmopoli, 1890, Privately Printed), Sotades, the Mantinean poet, was the first to treat of Greek love, or dishonest and unnatural love. He 174 EXCURSUS. dical."f It was about the year 1660 that he had, according to all probability, the first edition of the Aloisia secretly printed in Lyons. The work was supposed to have been written in Spanish, in the 16th century, by an erudite young girl, Luisa Si- gea, whose father, Jacques Sigee, a native of Fran- ce, had quitted his country to settle down at Tole- do. (Luisa Sigea, who was born at Toledo about the year 1530 and died in 1560, says the English translator in a note, knew Latin, Greek, Hebrew, Syriac and Arabic. She was styled the Minerva of her time.) The Spanish work was lost; but there remained a Latin manuscript translation of it, which Chorier, in order to secure himself, at- tributed to the learned Dutchman Joannes Meursius, dead twenty years before Chorier died in 1692; he left several manuscript works behind him, some of which have since been printed. wrote in the Ionian dialect, and according to Suidas he was the author of a poem entitled Cinxdica (Martial, 2. 86). The title would leave us in no doubt as to the trend of the work. (Cinaedus : =he who indulges in unnatural lust ; Cinaedicus=pertaining to one who is un- chaste. Smith's Latin English Dictionary.) C.f. also Sir Richard Burton's "Sotadic Zone" in the Terminal Essay to The Thousand Nights and a Night (op. cit. sup. ). 175
lived in Romagna a gentleman of great worth and good breeding, called Messer Li- zio da Valbona, to whom, well-nigh in his old age, it chanced there was born of his wife, Madame Giacomina by name, a daughter, who grew up fair and agreeable beyond any other of the country; and for that she was the only child that remained to her father and mother, they loved and tended her exceeding dear and guarded her with marvel- lous diligence, looking to make some great al- liance by her. Now there was a young man of the Manardi of Brettinoro, comely and lusty of his person, by name Ricciardo, who much frequented Messer Li- zio's house and conversed amain with him and of whom the latter and his lady took no more account than they would have taken of a son of theirs. Now, this Ricciardo, looking once and again upon the young lady and seeing her very fair and sprightly and commendable of manners and fash- ions, fell desperately in love with her, but was very careful to keep his love secret. • The Decameron of Giovanni Boccaccio: Englished by John
The Way of a Virgin Payne: Villon Society, 1886. This is the fourth story of the fifth day, the actual title being: "Ricciardo Manardi, being found by Messer Lizio da Valbona ivith his daughter, espouseth her and abideth with her father in peace." 176 THE NIGHTINGALE. The damsel presently became aware thereof and without anywise seeking to shun the stroke, be- gan on like wise to love him ; whe.reat Ricciardo was mightily rejoiced. He had many a time a mind to speak to her, but kept silence for misdoubtance; however, one day taking courage and opportunity, he said to her: "I prithee, Caterina, cause me not to die of love." To which she straightway made answer: "Would God thou wouldst not cause me die!" This answer added much courage and plea- sure to Ricciardo and he said to her: "Never shall aught that may be agreeable to thee miscarry for me; but it resteth with thee to find a means of saving thy life and mine." "Ricciardo," answered she, "thou seest how straitly I am guarded; wherefore, for my part, I cannot see how thou mayst avail to come at me; but, if thou canst see aught that I may do without shame to myself, tell it me and I will do it." Ricciardo, having bethought himself of sun- dry things, answered promptly: "My sweet Caterina, I can see no way, except that thou lie or make shift to come upon the gal- lery that adjoineth thy father's garden, where an I knew that thou wouldst be anights, I would with^ out fail contrive to come to thee, how high soever it may be." "If thou have the heart to come thither," re- joined Caterina, "methinketh I can well enough win to be there." Ricciardo assented and they kissed each other once only in haste and went their ways. Next day, it being then near the end of May, 177 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. the girl "began to complain before her mother that she had not been able to sleep that night for the ex- cessive heat. Quoth the lady : "Of what heat dost thou speak, daughter? Nay, it was nowise hot." "Mother mine," answered Caterina, "you should say 'to my seeming' and belike you would say sooth; but you should consider how much hot- ter are young girls than ladies in years." "Daughter mine," rejoined the lady, "that is true; but I cannot make it cold and hot at my plea- sure, as belike thou wouldst have me do. We must put up with the weather, such as the seasons make it; maybe this next night will be cooler and thou wilt sleep better." "God grant it may be so!" cried Caterina. "But it is not usual for the nights to go cooling, as it groweth towards summer." "Then what wouldst thou have done?" asked the mother; and she answered: "An it please my father and you, I would fain have a little bed made in the gallery, that is beside his chamber and over his garden, and there sleep. There I should hear the nightingale sing and hav- ing a cooler place to lie in, I should fare much bet- ter than in your chamber." Quoth the mother: "Daughter, comfort thy- self ; I will tell thy father, and as he will, so will we do." Messer Lizio, hearing all this from his wife, said; for that he was an old man and maybe there- fore somewhat cross-grained : "What nightingale is this to whose song she would sleep? I will yet make her sleep to the chirp of the crickets."
The Way of a Virgin 178 THE NIGHTINGALE. Caterina, coming to know this, more of des- pite than for the heat, not only slept not that night, but suffered not her mother to sleep, still complain- ing of the great heat. Accordingly, next morning, the latter repaired to her husband and said to him: "Sir, you have little tenderness for yonder girl; what mattereth it to you if she lie in the gal- lery? She could get no rest all night for the heat. Besides, can you wonder at her having a mind to hear the nightingale sing, seeing she is but a cKild? Young folk are curious of things like themselves." Messer Lizio, hearing this, said: "Go to, make her a bed there, such as you think fit, and bind it about with some curtain or other, and there let her lie and hear the nightin- gale sing to her heart's content." The girl, learning this, straightway let make a bed in the gallery and meaning to lie there that same night, watched till she saw Ricciardo and made him a signal appointed between them, by which he understood what was to be done. Messer Lizia, hearing the girl gone to bed, locked a door that led from his chamber into the gallery, and betook himself likewise to sleep. As for Ricciardo, as soon as he heard quiet on every hand, he mounted a wall, with the aid of a ladder, and thence, laying hold of certain tooth- ings of another wall, he made his way, with great toil and danger, if he had fallen, up to the gallery, where he was quietly received by the girl with the utmost joy. Then, after many kisses, they went to bed together and took delight and pleasure one of another well nigh all that night, making the night- ingale sing many a time. The nights being short and the delight great 179 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. and it being now, though ihey thought it not, near day, they fell asleep without any covering, so over- heated were they what with the weather and what with their sport, Caterina having her right arm entwined about Ricciardo's neck and holding him with the left hand by that thing which you ladies think most shame to name among men. As they slept on this wise, without awaking, the day came on and Messer Lizio arose and re- membering him that his daughter lay in the gal- lery, opened the door softly, saying in himself: "Let us see how the nigtingale hath made Ca- terina sleep this night/' Then, going in, he softly lifted up the serge wherein the bed was curtained about, and saw his daughter and Ricciardo lying asleep, naked and uncovered, embraced as it hath before set out; whereupon, having recognised Ricciardo, he went out again and reparing to his wife's chamber, call- ed to her, saying: "Quick, wife, get thee up and come sec, for that thy daughter hath been so curious of the nightingale that she hath e'en taken it and hath it in hand." "How can that be?" quoth she; and he answered : "Thou shalt see it, an thou come quicklv." Accordingly, i-he made haste to dress herself and quietly followed her husband to the bed where, the curtain being drawn, Madam Giaco- mma might plainly see how her daughter had taken and held the nightingale, which she had so longed to hear sing; whereat the lady, holding her- self sore deceived of Ricciardo, would have cried 180 THE NIGHTINGALE. out and railed at him; but Messer Lizio said to her:
The Way of a Virgin "Wife, as thou boldest my love dear, look thou say not a word, for, verily, since she hath got- ten it, it shall be hers. Ricciardo is young and rich and gently born; he cannot make us other than a good son-in-law. An he would part from thee on good terms, needs must he first marry her, so it will be found that he hath put the nightingale in his own cage and not in that of another." The lady was comforted to see that her hus- sband was not angered at the matter and consider- ing that her daughter had passed a good night and rested well and had caught the nightingale, to boot, she held her tongue. Nor had they abidden long after these words when Ricciardo awoke and seeing that it was broad day, gave himself over for lost and called Caterina, saying: "Alack, my soul, how shall we do, for the day is come and hath caught me here?" Whereupon Messer Lizio came forward and lifting the curtain, answered: "We shall do well." When Ricciardo saw him, himseemed the heart was torn out of his body and sitting up in bed, he said: "My lord, I crave your pardon for God's sake. I acknowledge to have deserved death, as a disloyal and wicked man; wherefore do you with me as best pleaseth you; but, I prithee, an it may be, have mercy on my life and let me not die." "Ricciardo," answered Messer Lizio, "the love that I bore thee and the faith I had in thee merited not this return; yet, since thus it is and youth hath carried thee away into such a fault, do 181 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. thou, to save thyself from death and me from shame, take Caterina to thy lawful wife, so that, like as this night she hath been thine, she may e'en be thine so long as she shall live. On this wise thou mayst gain my pardon and thine own safety; but, an thou choose not to do this, commend thy soul to God." Whilst these words were saying, Caterina let go the nightingale and covering herself, fell to weeping sore and beseeching her father to pardon Ricciardo, whilst on the other hand she entreated her lover to do as Messer Lizio wished, so they might long pass such nights in security. But there needed not overmany prayers, for that, on the one hand, shame of the fault commit- ted and desire to make amends for it, and on the other, the fear of death and the wish to escape, to say nothing of his ardent love and longing to possess the thing beloved, made Ricciardo freely and without hesitation avouch himself ready to do that which pleased Messer Lizio ; whereupon the latter borrowed of Giacomina one of her rings and there, without budging, Ricciardo in their pres- ence took Caterina to his wife. This done, Messer Lizio and his lady departed, saying: "Now rest yourself, for belike you have more need thereof than of rising." They being gone, the young folk clipped each other anew and not having run more than half a dozen courses overnight, they ran other twain ere they arose and so made an end of the first day's tilting. Then they arose and Ricciardo having had more orderly conference with Lizio a few days after, as it beseemed, he married the damsel over 182 THE NIGHTINGALE. again, in the presence of their friends and kinsfolk, and brought her with great pomp to his own house. There he held goodly and honourable nuptials and after went long nightingale-fowling with her to his heart's content, in peace and solace, both by night and by day. 183
The Way of a Virgin
THE PIKE'S HEAD.
There lived a peasant and his wife who had a daughter, a young virgin. The girl went forth to harrow the garden; she harrowed and she harrowed; anon they called her to the house to eat pancakes. She ran and left the horse with the harrow, saying unto the beast: "Wait there until I return." There was in the house of a neighbour a son, a foolish lad. For long he had desired to futter the maid ; but by what means he could not conceive. Observing the horse with the harrow, he slipped through the hedge, unharnessed the horse, and led it into his garden. Leaving the harrow in its place, he passed the beam through the hedge, and harnessed the horse afresh from his side. The young girl returned and stood astonished. What meant this? The harrow on one side of the hedge, the horse on the other? She fell to beating the horse with her whip, saying: "Devil! How earnest thou there? Thou didst know how to get there. Thou wilt know how to return. Come! Out of it!" The lad stood near; he looked and laughed. "I will aid thee an thou wilt," said he, "but only if thou dost permit me " The maid was cunning. 'Willingly," said she. And she armed herself with the head of an old pike, which lay about the garden, its jaws open. Picking it up, she thrust it in her sleeve and said to the lad : "I do not wish to come to thy side of the hedge, nor do I wish thee to come to mine, lest any see thee. Do it through the hedge. Pass me thy yard and I will put it in." The youth drew out his yard and passed it through the hedge. The girl took the pike's head, opened it, and put it 'twixt her thighs. When the youth rubbed, he scratched his yard so that it bled. Taking it in his hands, he ran to the house, sat down in a corner, and was very silent. "Ah! woe is mine!" thought he to himself. "How her coynte biteth! If only my yard will heal, for the rest of my life I will never address another girl!" Came the time for the youth to settle down; he was affianced to the daughter of the neighbour, and they were wedded. They dwelt together for a day, then two, then three; they dwelt together for a week, then a second, then a third; but the youth feared to touch his wife. Constrained one day to go to the house of the young man's mother-in-law, they set out on their way. On the road the wife said to her husband: "Listen, now, my dear little Danilka. Why hast thou married since thou dost naught with me? If thou canst do naught, why spoilest the life of another in this useless fashion?" And Danilka replied : "Nay, thou wilt not trap me again. It biteth, thy coynte. My yard hath long been ill. Tis scarce cured yet." "Thou ravest!" answered she. "At that time I did but play with thee. Have not fear now. Make trial of this dear little thing* of mine. Thou wilt be enchanted with it." And desire took the youth, and he tucked up his robe, saying: "Wait I am about to bind thy legs, and if thy coynte bitheth, I shall be able to leap to earth and save myself." He let go of the reins and bound the two naked thighs of his young wife. His instrument was now of sufficient magnitude. When he rammed the girl, she cried with a loud voice; the horse, which was young, took fright and began to run away; the sleigh was thrown from side to side; the peasant fell out; and his young wife, her thighs naked, was dragged into the courtyard of the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law gazed through the window; she perceived the horse of her son-in-law,
The Way of a Virgin • The texxt says: ce cher petit, which may be interpreted as referring to the wife's pudenhum. C.f. Le petit je ne sais quoi ("My-little-what's-its-name"), a comon erotic term for the parts concerned. (Farmer: Slang and its Analogues; Landes: Glossaire Erotique; and Le petit Citateur: Notes Erotique et Pornographiques.} The last authority considers that the word trou (hole) would be understood in the text. Trou, of course, is a common French erotic term for the fem- inine pudendum. On the other hand, he word jeu (game) may be understood, which would be equally applicable. C.f. Farmers (Slang, etc, vol. 3, p. 110) : "The first game ever played." i.e., copulation. Also Landes (Gloss. Erot.) : "Game: employed in an obscene sense to denote the sexual act." 186 THE PIKE'S HEAD. and was assured that he brought her some viands for the feast; she went to meet him and found her daughter! "Ah! little mother!" cried the latter. "Unbind me swiftly ere any see me." The old woman unbound her and asked what it signified. "And thy husband, where is he? she demanded. "The horse threw him into the road." These two entered the house and gazed through the window. Danilka arrived, approached some small boys who were playing at knuckle-bones, stopped, and looked about him. The mother-in-law dispatched her eldest daughter to him. She drew near, saying: "Good day, Danilka Ivanitch." "Good-day." "Come into the house. The feast lacketh but thee." "Is my wife within?" "Yea." "And hath the blood ceased to flow?" But the young girl spat and ran away from him. Then the mother-in-law dispatched her daughter-in-law, who would appease him. "Come, come, little Danilka. The blood hath ceased to flow this long time." She led him within the house, and the moth- er-in-law came to meet him, saying: "Welcome, my dear little son-in-law." "Varvara is she within?" "Yea." "And hath the blood ceased to flow?" "It hath ceased this long time." Then he drew forth his yard and showed it to his mother-in-law, saying: "See, little mother, this awl* was entirely inside her body." "Come, come," said the mother-in-law. "Sit thyself down. 'Tis time to eat." They sat down, drank, and ate. • Alene is the word in the text. Not an erotic term for penis in French and English slang, though we have the verb "to bore." C.f. Farmer -.Slang and its Analogues, for his amazing list of synonyms denoting the sexual act under the heading "Ride." Blondeau, in his Dictionnaire Erotique (Isidore Liseux: Paris, 1885), gives no word in his collection of Latin terms for penis which approximates exactly to
The Way of a Virgin the sense of awl. Landes, Delvau (Dictionnaire Erotique), and Le petit Citateur (op. cit. supra) make no mention of the word. In our story Danilka, in his very primitive fashion, has used an expression which explains in the simplest way his actions in the sleigh.
THE LOVELY NUN AND HER YOUNG BOARDER.
Casanova again meets the beautiful nun M. M , with whom he was on intimate terms some years previously at Venice. The nun is now in a convent at Chamberi, where Casanova visits her and her young boarder, a lovely girl aged twelve or thirteen, who readily succumbs to the adventur~ er's amorous advances. The text continues: T went to the convent, and M M came down • alone to the grating. She thanked me for coming to see her, adding that I had come to disturb her peace of mind. "I am all ready, my heart, to climb the gar- den wallj' I answered, "and I shall do it more dex- trously than thy wretched humpback." "Alas! 'tis not possible, for, believe me, thou art already spied upon Let us forget all, my dear friend, that we may be spared the torment of vain desires." "Give me thy hand." • Memoirs of Jacques Casanovas Privately Printed, 1894. Also Memoires de J. Casanova de Seingalts Gamier Freres: Paris, n.d. Our text is a blend of two versions. 189 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. "Nay. All is over. I love thee still; probably I shall love thee always ; but I long for thee to go, and by so doing, thou Wilt give me proof of thy love." "This is dreadful; thou amazest me. Thou dost seem in perfect health; thou art grown even more beautiful; art made for the worship of the sweetest of gods; 'tis beyond my powers of compre- hension how, with a temperament like thine, thou canst live in continual abstinence." "Alas! lacking the reality we console ourselves with make-belief.* I will not conceal from thee that I love my young boarder. 'Tis an innocent passion, and keepeth my mind calm. Her caresses quench the flame which would otherwise kill me."f "And doth not thy conscience suffer?" "I feel no distress in the matter." "But thou dost know 'tis a sin?" "I confess it." "And what sayeth the confessor?" "Naught. He absolveth me, and I am happy." "And doth thy pretty boarder confess also?" "Assuredly; but she telleth not the father of a matter which she doth not to believe a sin." "I wonder that the confessor hath not taught her, for that species of instruction is a great pleasure." "Our confessor is a wise old man." "I shall leave thee, then, without a single kiss?" • Badinage in the French text ; i.e., playfulness, frolic, sport, etc., which is hardly in keeping with the context. t Literally, according to French text: "Her caresses quench a fire which would kill me did I not weaken its force by this make- belief."
The Way of a Virgin 190 THE LOVELY NUN. "Not one." "May I return on the morrow? I go hence on the following day." "Come; but I shall not descend alone,* for others might have suspicious. I will bring my little one with me, to save appearances. Come after din- ing, but to the other parlour." Had I not known M M at Aix, her re- ligious ideas would have astonished me; but such was her character. She loved God, and did not be- lieve that the kind Father who made us with pas- sions would be too severe because we had not the strength to subdue them. I returned to the inn, an- noyed that the lovely nun would have no more to do with me After the interval of a night, Casanova re- turns to the convent, and, announcing his presence, enters the parlour ivhichM M has indicated. The text continues: She soon descended with her pretty young boarder, who had not yet completed her twelfth year, but was very tall, strong and well-developed for her age. Gentleness, liveliness, candour, and wit were united in her features, and gave her an expression of exquisite charm. She wore a well- made corset which disclosed a white throat, to which fancy easily added the two spheres which would soon appear there. Her shapely head, whence hung two superb raven tresses, and her ivory throat indicated what might be concealed, and my vagrant imagination formed her into a budding Venus. I began by telling her that she was very pretty, • i.e., to the grating. 191 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. and that she would make happy the husband for whom God had destined her. This compliment, I felt assured, would cause her to blush. Tis cruel, but thus it is that the language of seduction ever beginneth. A girl of her years who doth not blush at the mention of marriage is either a fool or already expert in profligacy. Despite this, how- ever, the blush which mounteth to a young girl's cheek at the onset of a startling idea is indeed a problem. Whence doth it come? Perchance from pure simplicity; perchance from shame; often from a mixture of both feelings. Cometh, then, the combat 'twixt vice and virtue, and usually 'tis vir- tue which hath to succumb. The desires true ser- vants of vice easily attain their ends. As I knew the young boarder from M M 's description, I could not be unaware of the source of those blushes which did but enhance her youthful charms. Pretending not to notice aught, I conversed for a while with M M , then returned to the assault. She had regained her calm. "What is thine age, pretty one?" said I. "I am thirteen." "Thou art wrong, my heart," said her friend. "Thou hast not yet completed thy twelfth year." "The time will come," quoth I, "when thou wilt diminish the tale of thy years instead of in- creasing it." "I shall never tell a lie, sir; of that I am sure." "So thou wouldst become a nun, mv fair friend?" "I have not yet that vocation ; but naught shall force me to lie, even though I should live in the world." 192 THE LOVELY NUN. "Thou art wrong, for thou wilt begin to lie from the moment ihou hast a lover."
The Way of a Virgin "Will my lover also tell lies?" "Assuredly he will." "Were the matter truly so, I should entertain a bad opinion of love; but I do not believe it, for I love my dear friend here, and I never conceal the truth from her." "But thou dost not love a man as thou lovest a woman." "Indeed one doth." "Not so, for thou dost not go to bed with a woman, but thou wilt with thy husband." "No matter my love would be the same." "What? Thou wouldst not rather sleep with me than with M M ?" "Nay ,in sooth, for thou art a man and would see me." "Thou dost not desire a man to see thee, then?" "Nay." "Thou knowest that thou art ugly, then?" At this she turned to her friend with a highly vexed air. "Am I truly ugly?" she asked. "Nay, my heart," said M M , bursting with laughter; 'tis quite the other way. Thou art very pretty." With these words, she took her on her knee and embraced her tenderly. "Thy corset is too tight, mademoiselle; 'tis not possible to have so small a waist as thine." "Monsieur is mistaken. Thou canst put thy hand there and see for thyself." "I do not believe it." M M then held her close to the grille and 193 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. bade me assure myself on the point. At the same moment she turned up her dress. 'Thou wast right," said I, "and I owe thee an apology." But in my heart I cursed the chemise and the grille. " Tis my opinion," quoth I to M M , "that here we have a little lad." Without awaiting a reply, I laboured so well that I satisfied myself, by touch, as to her sex, and I could see that the little one and her governess were pleased that my mind was at rest on the subject. When I had withdrawn my hand, the little one gave a kiss to M M , whose smiling air re- assured her, and begged leave to absent herself for a moment. It seems I had reduced her to a state in which a brief space of solitude was necessary, and I myself_was in a highly excited condition. When she had gone,I said to M M : "Dost realise that what thou hast shown me hath made me unhappy?" "And why?" "Because thy boarder is charming and I am dying to possess her." "I grieve for that, since thou canst not go further; moreover, I know thee, my friend, and e'en though thou couldst satisfy thy passion with- out danger to her, I would not yield her to thee; thou wouldst spoil her." "How?" "Dost think that after enjoing thee she would care to enjoy me? I should lose too heavily by comparison."
The Way of a Virgin "Give me thy hand." "Nay." 194 THE LOVELY NUN. "Stay one moment." "I do not wish to see aught." "Not even a little?" "Naught at all." "Art angered with me, then?" "Far from it. If thou hast been pleased, I am glad; and if thou hast filled her with desires, she will love me all the more." "What happiness, my angel, could we, all three, be alone together and at liberty!" "I feel it, but 'tis impossible." "Art sure that we are sheltered from all cu- rious eyes?" "I am certain." "The height of that wretched grille hath de- prived me of the sight of many charms." "Why didst not go to the other parlour? 'Tis much lower there." "Let us go there." "Not to-day. I could give no reason for the change." "I will return to-morrow, and in the evening I start for Lyons." The little boarder came back, and I stood up facing her. I had a number of beautiful seals and trinkets hanging from my watch-chain, and I had not had time to put myself in a state of perfect de- cency again. This she noticed, and my seals serv- ing as a pretext for her curiosity, she asked if she might look at them. "As long as you like, my jewel; look at them and touch them as well." M M , foreseeing what would happen, left the room, saying that she would return anon. I hastened to deprive the curious-minded young 195 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. Doarder of all interest in my seals by placing in her hands a curiosity of another kind. She did not con- ceal her transports nor the pleasure she felt in sa- tisfying her inquisitiveness about an object which was quite new to her, and which she was able to examine minutely for the first time in her life. But soon an effusion of the natural moisture changed her in her delighted contemplation of it. Perceiving M M returning slowly, I lowered my shirt and sat down. My watch and chains were still on the ledge of the grating, and M M asked her young friend if the trinkets had pleased her. "Yea," replied the little one, in a dreamy and melancholy voice. She had travelled so far in less than two hours that she had plenty to think on. I passed the rest of the day in relating to M M the adventures I had encountered since I quitted her; but as I had not time to finish my tale, I promised to return on the following day at the same hour. The young girl, who had been listening to me all the while, although I seemed to be addressing only her friend, said she was dying to know the end of my adventure with the mistress of the Duke of Matelone.*
The Way of a Virgin On the following day, after dining, I re- turned to the convent, and having sent up my name to M M , I entered the room where the grat- ing was more convenient. Before long M M arrived alone, but divining my desires, she added that her pretty young friend would soon join us. • Referring to a salacious incident shortly before related. Further details would be out of place in this volume. 196 THE LOVELY NUN. "Thou hast fired her imagination," she said. "She hath told me all about it, playing a thousand wanton tricks and calling me her dear husband. Thou hast seduced her, and I am very glad thou art going, for I believe she might lose her reason. Thou wilt see how she hath attired herself." "Art sure of her discretion?" "Perfectly, but I beg of thee to do naught in my presence. When I see the moment approach- ing, I will leave the room." "Thou art an angel, beloved, but thou might- est be something better an thou wouldst " "I want naught for myself, because that may not be." "Thou couldst " "Nay I will have naught to do with a pas- time which would re-kindle fires hardly yet quenched. I have spoken. I suffer; but let us say no more on the matter." At this moment the young adept entered smiling, her eyes full of fire. She was attired in a short pelisse, open in front, and an embroidered muslin skirt which did not go beyond her knees. She looked like a sylph. We were scarcely seated ere she reminded me of the place where my tale had stopped. I con- tinued my recital, and when I was relating how Donna Lucrezia showed me Leonilda naked, M M went out, and the sly little puss asked me how I assured myself that my daughter was a virgin. Taking hold of her through the wretched grating, against which she placed her pretty body, I showed her how I assured myself of the fact, and the little one found such pleasure in the game 197 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. that, so far from feeling any suffering, she twice swooned away in ecstasy, all the while pressing my hand to the spot. Then she gave me her hand that she might afford me the pleasure I had given her, and when M M appeared during this enjoy- able occupation, she said hastily: "It doth not matter. I have told everything. My friend is kind, and she will not be vexed." M M , in sooth, affected to see naught of all this, and the precocious young girl wiped her hand in a kind of voluptuous delight, which show- ed how well she was pleased. I proceeded with my history, but when I came to the episode of the poor girl who was tied,* des- scribing all the trouble I had vainly taken with her, the little boarder grew so curious that she placed herself in the most seducing attitude so that I might be able to show her what I did. Seeing this, M M made her escape. "Kneel down on the ledge," said the little wanton, "and let me do it." The reader can guess her intention, and she would have succeeded in her purpose had not the fire which consumed me distilled itself away at the orifice. The charming novice felt herself besprinkled, but after ascertaining that naught more could be done, she withdrew in some vexation. My fingers, however, consoled her for the disappointment, and I had the pleasure of seeing her look happy once more.
The Way of a Virgin • Somewhat obscure. This rendering, that of the English translation, is not in accord with the French text, nor does it seem to us to represent what happened as described in the English translation. 198 THE LOVELY NUN. I quitted these charming creatures in the eve- ning, promising to visit them again in a year, but as I walked home I could not but reflect how often these asylums, supposed to be devoted to chastity and prayer, do contain in themselves the hidden germs of corruption. How many a timorous and trustful mother is persuaded that the child of hey affection will escape the dangers of the world by taking refuge in the cloister. But behind these bolts and bars desires grow to a frenzied extreme; they crave in vain to be satisfied 199 JOHN AND JOAN. There was a Maid the other Day, Which in her Master's Chamber lay; As Maidens they must not refuse, In Yeomens Houses thus they use In a Truckle-bed to lye, Or another standing by: Her Master and her Dame, Said she shou'd do the same. This Maid cou'd neither rest nor Sleep, When that she heard the Bed to crack; Her Master Captive busie was, Her Dame cry'd out, you hurt my Back Oh Husband you do me wrong, You've lain so hard my Breast upon; You are such another Man, You'd have me do more than I can: Tush Master, then says Joan, Pray let my Dame alone; What a devilish Squalling you keep, That I can neither rest nor Sleep. • ].S. Farmer -.Merry Songs and Ballads: Privately Printed, 1897: vol.3: from Pills to Purge Melancholy (1719). A similar ballad. John and Jone, from Merry Drollerie (1661) is given by Farmer in the second volume of his work. 200 JOHN AND JOAN. This was enough to make a Maiden sick And full of Pain; She begins to Fling and Kick, And swore she'd rent her Smock in twain But you shall hear anon, There was a Man his name was John, To whom this Maid she went alone, And in this manner made her moan; I prithee John tell me no Lie, What ails my Dame to Squeak and Cry? I prithee John tell me the same, What is't my Master gives my Dame? It is a Steel, quoth John, My Master gives my Dame at Night: Altho' some fault she find, I'm sure it is her Heart's Delight: And you Joan for your part, You love one withal your Heart: Yes, marry then quoth John, Therefore to you I make my moan; If that I may be so bold, Where are these things to be sold? At London then said John, Next Market day I'll bring thee one.
The Way of a Virgin What will a good one cost, If I shou'd chance to stand in need? Twenty Shillings, says John, And for Twenty Shillings you may speed Then Joan she ran unto her Chest, And fetch'd him Twenty Shillings just; John, said she, here is your Coin, 201 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. And I pray you have me in your Mind: And out of my Love therefore, There is for you two Shillings more; And I pray thee honest John Long, Buy me one that's Stiff and Strong. To Market then he went, When he had the Money in his Purse; He domineer' d and vapour'd, He was as stout as any Horse: Some he spent in Ale and Beer, And some he spent upon good Cheer; The rest he brought home again, To serve his turn another time: Welcome home honest John, God a mercy gentle Joan; Prithee John let me feel, Hast thou brough me home a Steel? Yes, marry then quoth John, And then he took her by the Hand ; He led her into a Room, Where they cou'd see neither Sun or Moon Together John the Door did clap, He laid the Steel into her Lap : With that Joan began to feel, Cuts Foot, quoth she, 'tis a dainty Steel: I prithee tell me, and do not lye, What are the two Things hang thereby? They be the odd Shillings, quoth John, That you put last into my Hand: 202 JOHN AND JOAN. If I had known so much before, I wou'd have giv'n thee two Shillings more.* • John and Joan, strictly speaking, is a variant of three stories quoted earlier on in this volume, (The Instrument, The Timorous Fiancee and The Enchanted Ring), inasmuch as all contain the same idea the possibility of purchasing a membrum virile. At the same time, our ballad has a totally different setting, the maid in this case obtaining her first knowledge from the actions of others. THE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR.* Of a young squire of Champagne who, when he married, had never mounted a Christian crea- ture much to his wife's regret. And of the method her mother found to instruct him, and how the said squire suddenly wept at a great feast that was made shortly after he had learned how to perform the carnal act as you will hear more plainly hereafter. "TPlS well known that in the province of Cham• pagne one is sure to encounter heavy and dullwitted persons which hath seemed strange to many, seeing that the district is so near to the country of Mischief, t Many stories could be told of the stupidity of the Champenois, but this pres- ent will suffice.
The Way of a Virgin There dwelt in this province a young man, an orphan, who at the death of his father and mother had become rich and powerful. He was stupid, ignorant, and disagreeable, but hard-working, and knew well how to take care of himself and his af• Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelless Translated for the first time into English by Robert B. Douglas (One Hundred Merrie and De- lightsome Stories), Paris: Charles Carrington. Also French Text, Paris: Gamier Freres, n.d. t Probably Picardy or Lorraine. Note by R. B. Douglas. 204 THE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR. fairs, and for this reason many persons even people of condition were willing to give him their daughter in marriage. One of these damsels, above all others, pleased the friends and relations of our Champenois be- cause of her beauty, goodness, riches and so forth. They told him 'twas time he married. "Thou art now three-and-twenty years of age," said they, "and there could not be a better time. And thou wilt listen to us, we have sought out for thee a fair good damsel who seemeth to us well fitted to thee. It is such an one thou knowest her full well." And they told him her name. The young man, who cared little whether he was married or not, so as he did not lose money by it, answered that he would do whatsoe'er they wished. "Since ye think 'twill be to my advantage," said he, "mana'ge the business to the best of your ability, for I would follow your advice and in- structions." "Thou sayest well," said these good folk. "We will look and consider as carefully as though the matter concerned us or one of our children." To cut matters short, a litile while afterwards our Champenois was married; but on the first night, when he was sleeping with his wife, he, never having mounted on any Christian beast, soon turned his back to her, and a few poor kisses was aught she had of him, but naught on her back. At which one may guess his wife was not well pleas- ed, albeit she concealed her discontent. This unsatisfactory state of affairs endured some ten days, and would have endured yet longer had not the girl's mother put a stop to it . 205 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. It should be known that the young man was unversed in the mysteries of wedlock, for during the lifetime of his parents a tight rein had been kept upon him, and, above all things, he had been forbidden to play at the beast with two backs,* lest he should take too much delight therein, and waste all his patrimony. Which was prudent on the part of his parents, for he was not a young man likely to be loved for his appearance. And since he would do naught to anger his father and mother, and was not, moreover, of an amorous disposition, he had ever preserved his chastity, albeit his wife had deprived him of it right gladly had she known but how. On a certain day the mother of the bride came to her daughter, and questioned her as to her hus- band's state and condition and the countless other questions the bride replied that her husband was a good man, and that she did not doubt but that she would be happy with him. Which answer made the old woman joyous, but, since she knew by her own experience that there are more things in wedlock than eating and drinking, she said to her daughter: "Come hither, and tell me, on thy word of honour, how he doth acquit himself at night?" When the girl heard this question she was so vexed and shamed that she might not answer, and her eyes were filled with tears. But her mother, understanding what meant these tears, said : • Faire la bete a deux dos. A recognised slang term for the
The Way of a Virgin venereal act, used by Rabelais and Shakespeare. Cf. Farmer: Slang and itas Analogues (op, cit. supra), and Landes: Glossaire erotique de la langue franfaise: Brussels, 1861. 206 THE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR. "Weep not, my child. Speak me boldly. I am thy mother, and it behoveth thee to conceal naught from me. Hath he done naught to thee as yet?" The poor girl, having partly recovered, and being re-assured by her mother's words, ceased her tears, but could not yet make reply. Whereupon her mother asked again: "Speak me boldly and put aside thy grief. Hath he done naught to thee yet?" In a low voice, mingled with tears, the girl replied: "On my word, mother, he hath never touched me yet, but, save for that, there is no man more kind or affectionate." "Tell me," quoth the mother, "knowest thou if he be properly furnished with all his members? Speak boldly if thou dost know." "By St. John! He is sound in that respect," replied the bride. "I have often, by chance, felt his luggage* as I turned to and fro on our bed when I could not sleep." " 'Tis enough," said the mother. "Leave the rest to me. This is what thou must do. In the morning thou must feign illness e'en as tho_ugh thy soul were about to depart thy body. Thy hus- band will, I expect full well, seek me out and bid me come to thee, and I will play my part so that thy business will soon be settled, for I shall carry thy water to a certain doctor, who will give such counsel as I order." • Denree d'aventure. A recognised erotic term for the male genital parts. C.f. Farmer and Landes (op. cit. supra). Denree, pro- perly, means a "commodity," which is not far removed from the English slang term 'concern." (Farmer.) 207 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. All was accomplished as arranged, for on the morrow, as soon as it was dawn, the girl, who was sleeping with her husband, fell to complaining and feigning sickness as though a strong fever racked her body. Her foolish husband was much vexed and as- tonished, and knew not what to say or do. He sent forthwith for his mother-in-law, who was not long in coming. As soon as he saw her he said : "Alas! mother! thy daughter is dying!" "My daughter?" quoth she. "What doth she want?" And while she spoke, she walked to the patient's chamber. As soon as the mother perceived her daughter, she inquired of her as to her trouble, and the girl, being well instructed in what she must do, answer- ed not at first, but, after a while, said: "Mother, I am dying." "Please God, thou shalt not die! Take cour- age! But how cometh it that thou art fallen ill so suddenly?" "I know not! I know not!" answered the girl. "Thou dost madden me by these questions." The mother took the daughter's hand, and felt her pulse, her body and her head; then she said to her son-in-law: "In sooth, she is sorely ill. She is on fire. We must find some remedy. Has aught of her water?" "That which she made last night is there," said one of the attendants. "Give it me," said the mother. She took the urine, and put it in a proper ves- sel, and told her son-in-law that she would show it to a physician, that he might know what he might do to her daughter to cure her. 208
The Way of a Virgin THE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR. "For God's sake! spare naught! she said. "I have still some money, but I love my daughter bet- ter than money." "Spare!" said he. "If money can help, I will not fail her." "When thou goest,* and while she is resting," said the mother, "I will go home; but I will re- turn as I am needed." Now it should be known that the old woman on the previous day, when she quitted her daugh- ter, had instructed the physician, who was well aware of what he must say. So the young man carried his wife's water to the physician, and, having saluted him, related how sick and suffering was his wife. "And I have brought some of her water that thou mayest judge how sick she is, and the more easily cure her," said the young man. The physician took the vessel of urine, and; turning it about and examining it, said: "Thy wife is sore afflicted with illness and in peril of death unless succour be forthcoming. Her water showeth it." "Ah! master, for the love of God, tell me what to do, and I will pay thee well canst thou re- store her to health and prevent her from dying!" "She need not die an thou obeyest my com- mands," quoth the physician. "But if thou dost not make haste, all the money in the world will not save her from death." "Tell me, for God's sake, what to do," said the other, "and I will do it." • The text here is somewhat obscure. Mr. Douglas translates "No need to go so fast." 209 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. "She must have connection with a man or she will die," answered the physician. "Connection with a man?" said the other. "What is that?" "It meaneth," continued the doctor, "that thou must mount on top of her, and speedly ram her three or four times, or more if thou canst; otherwise, the great heat which doth consume and kill her, will not be extinguished." "That will be good for her?" "She is a dead woman," answered the physi- cian, "an thou do it not and do it quickly." "By St. John!" said the other, "I will try what I can do." With that he went home and found his wife, who was groaning and lamenting loudly. "How art thou, beloved?" asked he. "I die, beloved," answered she. "Please God, thou shalt not die," said he. "I have conversed with the physician, who hath told me what medicine will cure thee." And, as he spoke, he fell to undressing, and lay down beside his wife, and began to execute in clumsy fashion the orders he had received from the physician. "What dost thou? asked his wife. "Wouldst kill me?" "Nay, I am about to cure thee," said he. "The physician hath assured me." And Nature instructing and the patient assist- ing, he performed upon her twice or thrice. When resting from his labours, much astonished at what had befallen, he asked his wife how she was. "I am a little better th,an I was hitherto," she replied. 210 THE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR.
The Way of a Virgin "God be praised," quoth he. "I hope thou wilt get well and that the physician hath spoken truly." And with that he fell to again. To cut matters short, he performed so well that his wife was cured in a few days, whereat he was very joyful, as was the mother when she knew of it. Ever afterwards our Champenois became a better fellow than heretofore, and his wife being' now restored to health, he one day invited all his friends and relatives to dine with him, and also the father and mother of his wife, and he served good cheer after his own fashion. They drank to him, and he drank to them, and he was right good company. But hear what befell him. In the midst of the feast he fell to weeping, which much astonished all his friends who were at table with him; and they demanded what was the matter, but he could not answer for weeping scalding tears. At length he spake, saying: "I have good cause to weep." "By my oath thou hast not!" replied his moth- er-in-law. "What aileth thee? Thou art rich and powerful and well-housed, and hast good friends, nor must thou forget thy fair and good wife, whom God brought back to health when she was on the verge of the grave. In thinking thou shouldst be light-hearted and joyous." "Alas!" said he. "Woe is me! My father and mother, who both loved me, and who amassed and bequeathed me so much wealth, are dead, and by my fault, for they died of a fever, and had I well touzled* them both when they were ill, as I did 211 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. my wife, they would still be on their feet." There was none at table who, on hearing this, would not fain have laughed; nevertheless, all re- strained themselves as best they might. The tables were removed and each went his way, and the young man continued to live with his wife, and, in order that she might remain in good health, he failed not to tail her pretty often. • Touzle or Tousle, in its original sense, meant "to rumple" "to pull or mess about." but came in time to signify, in erotic slang, the act of "mastering a woman by romping." (Vide Farmer: Slang and Analogues.) It belongs to that class of word connoting the sexual act which may be described as energetic, as implying a sense of lively action and movement. Farmer, under his key-word Ride, gives a number of similar terms among them: to belly-bump to bounce; to cuddle ; to ferret; to frisk; to fumble; to hug ; to hustle; to jiggle; to jumble; to muddle; to niggle; to plough; to rummage; to shake; and to tumble. Touzle is Fieldings term for the veneral act. 212 THE PRIEST AND THE LABOURER/ on a time there dwelt a priest and his wife; they had two daughters. The priest hired a labourer, and in the spring he made a pil- grimage; but before setting out he gave his orders to the labourer. "See, friend," said the priest, "on my return I would find all the garden dug up and the beds set out." "I hear, little father," answered the labourer. The labourer dug so ill that the garden went to wrack and ruin, and all the while he enjoyed himself. When the priest returned, he went to the garden and saw that naught had been done. "Ah, friend," asked the priest of the labourer, "is it possible that thou knowest not how to dig a garden?" "Assuredly I know not," answered the labour- er. "Had I known I would have done it." "Go, then, into the house, and beg of my daughters to give thee an iron shovel, and I will show thee how to dig."
The Way of a Virgin The labourer sped to the house and sought the daughters. • Kruptadia : Heilbronn: Henniger Freres, 1883: Secret Stories from the Russian. 213 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. "Little mistresses," quoth he, "the little father orders ye to give me both of ye " "Give thee what?" "Yet know well he meaneth ye yourself to f utter!" The priest's daughters fell to abusing the labourer. "What availeth it to abuse me?" asked the la- bourer. "The little father hath ordered ye to yield me this at once, for the borders of the garden must be dug. An ye believe not me, ask of him your- selves." One of the daughters straightway ran to the steps leading to the house, and cried : "Little father! Hast ordered us to give this thing to the labourer?" "Give it him swiftly! Why keepest him wait- ing?" answered the priest. "Come, my sister," said the young girl when she returned. "There is no help for it. We must give it him. So the little father hath ordered." Both then went to bed, and the labourer put the matter through most expeditiously. Afterwards, he took a shovel from the shed, and ran to the little father in the garden. The priest showed him how to dig the borders of the garden, and he himself re- turned to the house to his wife. But what saw he? His daughters in tears. "Why weep ye?" "How should we not weep, little father," answered they, "when thou thyself hast ordered the labourer to make mock of us?" "To make mock of ye?" "Didst not order us to yield it to him?" 214 THE PRIEST AND THE LABOURER. "And why not? I ordered ye to give him a shovel." "A shovel? He hath dishonoured us! He hath taken our virginity!" When the priest heard this, he fell into a mighty rage, seized a stake, and ran headlong to the kitchen garden. The labourer perceived the priest approaching with a stake. Wretchetl mis- chance! He hurled the shovel from him and took to his heels. The priest sped after him, but the labourer was the more agile, and vanished from the sight of the priest. Then went the priest in search of his labourer, and in his search he encountered a peasant. "Good day, friend," said the priest. "Good day, little father," answered the peasant. "Hast encountered my labourer?" "I know not. A lad passed me, running swiftly." " 'Tis he! Come with me, little peasant, and aid me in the search. I will pay thee well." They set out together; not far off they came upon a strolling player.
The Way of a Virgin "Good day, strolling player," said the priest. "Good day, little father," answered the stroll- ing player. "Hast met a lad just now?" "Yea, little father. There was one who went running past me." " 'Tis he! Aid us in the search. I will pay thee well." "Willingly, little father." And the three set forth together. Now the labourer had run to the village, and 215 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. having clad himself in other garments, went him- self to meet the priest. And the priest failed to re- cognise him, but questioned him, saying: "Tell me, friend hast seen a labourer on the road?" "I have seen one, and he ran to the village." "Come, friend, aid us in the search." "Willingly, little father." All four then went in search of the priest's labourer; they entered the village; they walked; they walked unto eventide; naught befell. Dark- ness descended. Where might they pass the night? Anon they came to a house where dwelt a widow, and they begged leave of her to pass the night therein. "Good people," replied the widow, "there will be a deluge this night in my house. I warn ye of it beforehand. Ye will be drowned." Howbeit, she did not refuse them indeed, she might not and she let them enter for the night. (Now the widow's lover had promised to visit her that night.) All four then entered the house and betook themselves to bed. The priest, thinking perchance there might be a deluge, laid hold of a great through, set it upon a shelf, and put himself to sleep in the trough. "If there be a deluge," thought he to himself, "I shall float upon the top of it in the through." The strolling player laid himself down by the hearth, his head in the ashes; the peasant reclined on the bench behind the table; and the priest's labourer stretched himself on the stool by the win- dow. Hardly had they lain down ere they fell into 216 THE PRIEST AND THE LABOURER. deep slumber, excepting the labourer, who alone slept not. He it was who heard the lover of the mistress of the house come beneath the window and knock, saying: "Open, my beloved." The labourer arose, opened the window, and spake in low tones, saying: "Beloved, thou comest at an ill moment. Strangers are within my house, passing the night therein. Come thou the next night." "I go, beloved," answered the lover. "But lean thou from the window that we may embrace." The labourer turned his posterior to the win- dow an thrust out his backside. The lover em- braced it with rapture. "I go adieu, my beloved. Fare thee well. I will return to-morrow night."
The Way of a Virgin "Go, loved one. I will wait thee, but, as a parting gift, give me thy yard, which I will hold for several moments in my hand. 'Twill console me somewhat." The lover drew forth his yard from his draw- ers and thrust it towards the window. "Take it, beloved," quoth he. "Amuse thy- self." The labourer took the yard in his hand, cares- sed it once or twice, drew his knife from his pock- et, and, with one blow, cut off the member and testicles of the lover. The latter uttered a great cry, and sped amain to his home. The labourer shut the window, sat down on the bench, and made a noise with his mouth, as though eating. The, peasant heard the noise and awoke, saying: "What eatest thou, comrade?" 217 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. "I have found a morsel of sausage on the ta- ble, but I cannot eat it all, for 'tis uncooked." "No matter if it be uncooked, comrade. Give me a portion to sample." "There is not much, friend, but take what is left and eat." And he gave him the cut-off yard. The peasant fell to chewing the 'sausage' with fine appetite. He chewed and chewed, but could not swallow the morsel. "What is wrong with it, comrade?" he asked. " Tis impossible to eat it. Tis so tough." "Put it in the frying-pan, roast it, and then thou wilt be able to eat it." The peasant arose, went towards the frying- pan, and crammed the 'sausage' right 'twixt the teeth of the strolling player. He held it there; he held it there for a long while, making experiment with it. "Nay," said he, at length. "The 'sausage? hath not grown tender. The fire hath done naught." "Cease to wrestle with the thing," said the labourer. "The mistress of the house will hear and will scold us. Thou hast scattered the fire over the frying-pan. Look! sprinkle it with water that the woman may perceive naught." "But where may I get the water?" "Piss o'er it. Better extinguish the fire than have to go forth into the courtyard." The peasant had great desire to piss, and he pissed forthwith upon the face of the strolling player. And when the strolling player felt the water, coming whence he knew not, fall right in his mouth, he said: "The deluge hath arrived!" 218 THE PRIEST AND THE LABOURER. And he fell to crying with all the strength of his lungs : "Little father! The deluge! The deluge!" The priest heard the voice of the strolling player, and, half asleep, sought to cast himself, together with the trough, straight into the water, but instead he fell heavily on the ground, bruising himself all over. "Ah! my God!" he cried. "When a child fal- leth, the good Lord placeth a cushion under it, but when an old man tumbeth, the devil putteth a har- row beneath him. Behold me all sore and bruised. Of a certainly I shall ne'er find that brigand of a labourer." Quoth the labourer to the priest: "Seek him no more, I counsel thee. Go home, and may the Lord go with thee. It were better for thy health." 219 EXCURSUS TO THE PRIEST AND THE LABOURER.
The Way of a Virgin The foregoing story reminds one the device employed by "The Youth who would Futter his Father's Wives," (The Thousand Nights and a Night: Supplemental Nights, vol. 6: Translated by Sir Richard F. Burton.) In the latter case the father sets out on a journey, but, having forgotten his shoes, instructs his son, who is accompanying him for a short way, to return and fetch them. The, youth goes back, informs his father's wives that they are to sleep with him in his parent's absence, and, when they are incredulous, shouts to his father in the distance: "O my papa, one of them or the two of them?" The father, referring, of course, to his shoes, shouts back: "The two! The two!" The wives are convinced by this remark, as were the virgin daughters of the priest in our story from Kruptadia. We shall reserve further extracts from this Oriental narrative for a subsequent vol- ume of Anthologia Rarissima, the plot and details being inappropriate to our present theme. 220 THE TWO LOVERS AND THE TWO SISTERS.* T will tell you, therefore, that in those days when • Duke Ranier of Anjou, envious of the peace and the wisdom of that divine prince, King Don Al- fonso, was driven from Naples and from the King- dom, it pleased him to tarry for a certain season in Florence. There were, amongst the other French- men who were involved in the ruin and ship- wreck of his fortunes, two valiant and accomplish- ed cavaliers, the one named Filippo de Lincurto and the other Ciarlo d'Amboia. Now these two, although they were very pru- dent and endowed with many virtues, were inclin- ed nevertheless, being young and given over to love, to leave the burden of disaster, and the cares thereof as well, to him who was especially con- cerned with the same, that is, to the duke. It happened that in their daily rides through Florence, Filippo fell deepty in love with a grace- ful and very lovely young lady of noble parentage, and wife to a citizen of repute; and while he strove incessantly to win her, it chanced that Ciaj- lo, as he ranged another part of the city, became • Masuccio: The Novellino: Translated into English by W. G. Waters: Lawrence and Bullen: London, 1894: vol. 2, Fortyfirst Novel. 221 THE LOVERS AND THE SISTERS. enamoured of a sister of Filippo's lady-love, who abode unmarried in her father's house. He, un- witting of this kinship, made up his mind, albeit he deemed her passing fair, to keep his passion within sober limits, forasmuch as he was well ver- sed in the strife of love and aware that young dam- sels are wont to love lightly and without constancy. Filippo, finding that his fair lady was discreet and of good understanding, and being also fully pre- pared to become her servant, resolved to give her his love entirely; on which account the lady, real- izing his humour and considering his many and praiseworthy parts, likewise determined to recom- pense him with all the love of her heart, and began to favour him with her kindness in such wise that he saw she was the only woman in the world who knew how to love. She, certes, would have let him taste at once the supreme fruit of love had she not been restrain- ed therefrom by the continual presence of her hus- band; so, having given Filippo assurance, both by letter and by messages, that she was firmly set in this purpose, the two lovers longed beyond aught else for the time when the husband would take his departure to Flanders in the galley which was now expected at any hour to touch at Pisa. While they thus abode in pleasureable expec- tation, Duke Ranier was obliged to return to France, whereat both the cavaliers felt mightily aggrieved, and especially that one of the two who loved and likewise was loved in return ; neverthe- less, being bound by necessity, they took their de- parture, snared as they were in amorous toils.
The Way of a Virgin Filippo swore to his lady that no obstacle, however great, should debar him from returning, 222 THE LOVERS AND THE SISTERS. and that, come what might, he as a loyal lover would never forsake her. Having consoled her with other speeches yet more affectionate, he and his companion set forth; and after his return it come to pass in the course of time, either through came to pass in the course of time, either, through that Filippo, albeit he still remembered the lady left behind, let the ardent flames of his passion grow colder every day. He not only forgot his pro- mise to return, but beyond this neglected to answer any of the many letters writ to him by the lady. On this account she, perceiving how she was well-nigh forsaken by this lover once so ardent, was stricken with such cruel grief thereanent that she almost lost her wits; but, calling to mind the stainless virtue of the cavalier, she could not per- suade herself that so noble a heart could harbour such inhumanity. However, when she remember- ed his latest words both written and sent to her by the mouth of their trusted messenger, she deliber- ated how she might by a new and suggestive plan stimulate the virtue of her lover and thereby make a final trial on behalf of her passion. Thus she caused to be made by a skilled mas- ter a ring of gold, wrought very finely, and in this she had set a counterfeit diamond, most manifestly false, letting engrave round the ring itself the words, 'La ma za batani?'* This, after shp. had wrapped it in fine cambric, she sent to her Filippo by a certain young man of Florence, who knew how things stood with her, and who was going to France after his own affairs, charging him that he should himself deliver it to Filippo with no far• St. Matthew, 27, 46: "Why hast thou forsaken me?" 223 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. ther words than these: "She who loves you and you only sends you this, and implores you to let her have a fitting answer thereto." In due time the envoy with his offering and his messages arrived at Filippo's house and was joyfully received ; but after the cavalier had mark- ed with amazement what was the quality of the ring, and what the motto graven thereupon, he went about for several days pondering over the purport of the same, and finding himself unable to draw from it the true meaning, he determined to show it to Ciarlo and to divers other gentlemen of the court; but these, taken singularly and alto- gether, what though they used all their wits, were unable to his the mark. Finally its meaning was fathomed by Duke John, who was a gentleman of great discretion, al- beit more fortunate in advising others than in reaping victory in the many enterprises he under- took. What it said was this : "False diamond, why hast thou forsaken me?" When Filippo heard this sentence he saw at once how the lady had most justly and prudently reproved him for his lover's unfaith, and began to consider how he might by a device of the same sort answer so graceful a proposition and repay so heavy a debt of love. So, being minded to conclude the matter, he went to his dear friend Ciarlo, beseeching him by the friendship there was between them, that he would go with him to Florence for the reason aforesaid. And albeit Ciarlo found this somewhat hard at first, he ended by consenting to oblige so dear a friend, deeming besides that he might peradvent224 THE LOVERS AND THE SISTERS. ure thereby compass some pleasure for himself and for the damsel he loved. Thereupon they set forth, and having duly come to Florence, they be- gan at the first chance to walk past the houses of their ladies in order to signify their presence; and Filippo soon sent word by his wonted messenger to his lady how he had sufficiently understood the message which the ring sent by her had borne, and how he knew no other method of disproving her false opinion of
The Way of a Virgin him save by bearing witness for himself, wherefore it behoved her to grant him an interview meet for the occasion. The gracious lady, who with her sister had rejoiced amain over the return of their lovers, and had deliberated what course should be taken, as soon as she heard this kindly message, so manifest- ly springing from love, was filled with such joy that she felt almost jealous of herself, and so as to lose no more time over the matter she sent back a brief answer to Filippo, bidding him wait with his companion before the door of her house next evening. Wherefore Filippo, as soon as the hour had come, betook himself merrily with his friend Ciar- lo to the spot which had been named, and there they caught sight of the lady, who gave them most gladsome reception. After she had made a trusty maid-servant of hers open to them the door and bring them in, she likewise gave them to under- stand, by the mouth of this same woman, that the only way in which the thing she so much desired could be brought about would be that, while she should be taking her pleasure with Filippo, Mes- ser Ciarlo should go and strip naked and lie down in the bed beside her husband, in order that, if by 225 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. chance the husband should wake and feel Ciarlo in bed, he might believe that his wife was still there. Unless he should consent to do this, they would all run great peril of their honour and of their lives as well ; wherefore she besought them to put in practice the timely stratagem which she had provided, or else withdraw from the place forth- with. As soon as Ciarlo heard this request, what though he would have gone down to hell to serve his comrade, he was conscious that, even if the bus- iness should come to a fortunate issue, it would be to him a great loss of good fame were he to be found there stark naked ; wherefore he refused al- togheter to go on such service in such fashion, declaring, however, that if he might go clad and car- rying his sword in his hand he would willingly do what they wanted. Now Filippo had travelled all the way from France to foregather with his lady-love, and, in considering the difficult parts to which had come, he perceived that his friend was speaking and that the lady was acting with good show of reason; so, after many and divers arguments, for the reason that the lady remained firmly fixed in her purpose and that he himself was more than ever fired with amorous desire, he besought Ciarlo almost with tears that, by the bonds of friendship, he would consent to oblige them, what though the thing it- self might be unseemly. Therefore Ciarlo, seeing how great was the passion which possessed his friend, and to what a pass the affair had come, determined that he would 226 THE LOVERS AND THE SISTERS. if need be meet death itself rather than he wanting in service to Filippo. Thereupon the waiting-woman taking Ciarlo by the hand led him in the dark to the lady, and she, having given him kindly welcome, took him into her own chamber, and there bade him take off all his clothes and get into the bed, keeping his sword at hand. Then she softly bade him be of good heart and have patience, for she would soon return and release him. This done, she went full of joy to her Filippo, and having led him into an- other room they reaped the full and delightful fruit of their desire. Now when Ciarlo had waited, not two, but four hours, he began to think that it was full time for the lady, or at least for his trusty comrade, to come and set him free; so, hearing no one coming, and perceiving that it was near daybreak, he said to himself: "If these others, all afire with love, feel no concern at having left me here to play a fool's part, it is now full time for me to take thought of myself and of my honour." Having softly got out of bed, him seeming that the lady's husband was asleep, he went with the sheet over his shoulders to try to escape, but was hugely annoyed at finding the chamber door secu- rely locked outside; and, not
The Way of a Virgin knowing where the windows were, nor on what place they looked, he went back to the bed in a fury. He heard sounds which told him that the other occupant of the bed was awake and moving, and, though he was pricked both by fear and cu- riosity, he kept aloof and spake not a word. Whi'e he was thus troubled in mind he marked through 227 THE WAY OF A VIRGIN. the fissures of the windows that it was now broad day, and, fearing amain lest he should he espied by his bed-partner, he turned his back, and, gathering himself together and keeping his sword ready for his needs, he resolved to leave whatever might be- fall him to Fortune, and kept still, mightily troubled in mind. Before long he heard sounds of the fires being kindled throughout the house, and the lady hastly steps of the servants as they ran to fetch water; wherefore he determined at the last rather to die as beseemed a good cavalier than to be found there stark naked and making shift for a woman; so, having leapt out of bed with his drawn sword, he went to the door, and, as he was using all his force to open the same, he became aware how someone was unfastening it from without He drew back somewhat, and then saw enter Filippo, laughing heartily and holding the lady by him in merry wise, albeit they saw he was burst- ing with rage. But when the lady perceived that he was all bemused, and unwitting where he was, she took him by the hand and said to him: "My good sir, by the sincere love I bear tow- ards you, and also by that which you have towards certain others, I will assure myself that I may speak to you concerning a matter which intimacy such as ours will allow us to discuss. I know not whether Nature may have failed to bestow upon you French gentlemen that which she always gives to the lower animals. I mean to say that I know of no male beast, whether wild or tame, which, when under the sway of love, will not recognise the female by her odour. And you, forsook, a wise and discreet gentleman, who have come hither all the way from France on account of love, can it be that your frozen nature is so sluggish that, when Fortune lets you spend the whole of a long night by the side of her for whom you have shown such great tokens of love, you failed to scent out who she was?" Then, having led him up to the bedside, she let him see and know clearly that it was her sister and no one else who had lain beside him during the night which was just passed. When he perceived this thing the cavalier was not a little ashamed of himself, but finally all four laughed and joked so merrily that they could scarce stand upright on their feet; and because of the pass to which things had come, it seemed meet to all that, for the setting right of the fault afore- said, they should once more divide in pairs. Whereupon Ciarlo, having got back into bed, plucked the fresh flower and the earliest fruit of the goodly garden which fell to his lot, and the two friends remained there, each taking delight with his own lady, until the husband came back from western parts.
 The Thousands Nights and a Night, translated by Sir Richard F. Burton, and printed by the Burton Club for private subscribers only: Lauristan Edition, limited to 1,000 numbered sets. As the story in the original is of considerable length, we have summarised portions of it, retaining in its entirely that part of the text which will appeal most to the bibliophile. The paragraphing, also, is in many cases our own.  Kruptadia : Henningcr Freres, Heilbronn, 1883: Stories of Picardy  *^ruptadia\ Heilbronn: Henninger Fibres, 1883: vol 1.: Secret Stories from the Russian. This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published before January 1, 1923. It may be copyrighted outside the U.S. (see Help:Public domain).
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