My
Last
Love
Letter
(
A
Short
Story
)
By
Deepa
Arjun




"I
love
you.
I
know
its
not
important
to
say
those
3
words
all
the
time.
But
I
feel

more
connected
to
you
every
time
I
say
that.
I
love
you.
Feel
closer
to
you
every

time
I
write
it".
I
told
her
this
while
sitting
beside
her
in
her
bedroom.
She
was

busy
working
on
her
laptop.



I
couldn’t
help
but
notice
her
features.
She
looked
serene,
a
divine
beauty.
She

looked
like
the
best
thing
ever
granted
by
God
to
the
mankind,
us,
the
human

beings.
Especially
me.
"Baby,
could
you
please
pass
me
the
jug?"
She
didn’t

respond.
I
asked
her
the
same
question
again.
This
time
she
turned
to
me
saying

"honey,
please
take
it
yourself.
I'm
just
checking
these
documents
Sharad
had

given
to
me."



I
sighed
and
looked
down
to
my
feet.
Should
I
take
a
walk
back
to
my
place?
The

answer
was
a
quick
one.
Hell
No!
Though
she
didn’t
seem
interested
in
talking
to

me
at
all,
yet
I
stuck
on
the
thought
of
staying
back.
"Sharad
has
a
presentation

lined
up
today
and
he
wants
me
to
rectify
it
so
that
he
doesn’t
falter
during
its

execution.
You
know
he
trusts
me
a
lot."



I
nodded
with
a
smile.
A
smile
is
a
permanent
feature
on
my
face
whenever
I'm

around
her.
Even
when
she
is
so
ignorant
or
inconsiderate
about
me
as
she
is

today.
"Why
are
you
smiling
so
much
today?"
She
asked.



I
replied,
"I
smile
every
time
you
are
around
me."
She
took
3
more
seconds
to

respond
"What
did
you
say?"
she
seemed
engrossed
in
those
valuable
documents

Sharad
had
mailed
her.



"I
smile
every
time
you
are
around
me".
She
smiled
back
this
time.
It
made
my

day.
Yes,
I'm
madly
in
love
with
her.
Well,
it
was
nothing.
Her
love
for
me
was

immeasurable,
had
no
constraints.
She
has
always
been
there
for
me
when

needed.
I
love
watching
movies
with
her.
It
wasnt
such
a
good
movie,
that
we

watched
the
other
day.
But
I
insisted
her
to
watch
it
for
my
sake.



"You
enjoying
honey?"
She
asked
giving
a
peck
on
my
lips.
I
smiled
and

responded
with
a
full‐fledged
smooch
as
a
token
of
my
approval.
i
knew
she
was

getting
bored
to
death.
When
suddenly
her
cell
phone
buzzed
and
she
stood
up

saying
"Honey,
its
Sharad.
I
guess
it’s
important."



Before
I
could
say
a
word
she
disappeared.
"Oh,
its
perfectly..."
I
turned
sad

"fine."
I
slept
through
the
rest
of
the
movie.
She
woke
me
up
and
we
left.
We

headed
for
a
local
rock
concert
at
the
city
auditorium.
For
the
information,
I

really
don’t
like
rock
music
at
all
but
I
love
watching
her
jiving
to
the
beats
of
her

favorite
tracks.



"It
was
superb.
Great
fun"
She
said
excitedly
after
the
concert.
We
were
on
our

way
back
home.

"Yeah,
it
was
good."

"Oh
really?
Tell
me
what
they
play
in
the
end?"
She
teased.

"Rock
Music!"
I
said
shying
away.


My
Last
Love
Letter
(
A
Short
Story
)
By
Deepa
Arjun





She
laughed,
"I
know
you
don’t
understand
even
a
single
word
of
rock.
But
it’s
so

sweet
of
you.
You
always
try
and
make
me
happy.
I
love
you."
She
kissed
my

cheek.

I
turned
red
in
blush
and
my
redness
faded
away
the
moment
she
added,
"Sharad

knows
rock
like
a
snap
of
his
hand.
We
used
to
sync
along
beautifully."
I
nodded.

That
night
I
made
a
promise
to
myself
that
I
would
sync
along
with
her
no
matter

how
tough
it
is
to
understand
the
rock
music.
Was
I
jealous?
The
answer
was
no.

I'm
just
trying
to
love
her
more.



Love
is
tough.
But
it
wasn’t
tough
yet.
The
toughest
part
was
yet
to
come.
That

was
when
we
went
to
the
airport.
I
had
no
idea
until
then
that
we
were
heading

to
the
airport.
We
were
in
the
car,
she
was
in
my
arms,
and
my
hands
were
all

over
her
body
as
we
kissed.
I
loved
travelling
places
with
her
in
a
car.
That
way
I

always
got
to
cuddle
her.

I'm
in
true
love.
I
thought
as
I
pressed
her
mounts
while

nibbling
on
her
petal
like
lips.
I
felt
a
sudden
bulge
beneath
my
belly
as
I
tried
to

hide
it.



She
noticed
and
teased
me
saying,
"Someone
is
getting
out
of
control."

I
smiled
and
said,
"Someone
just
loves
you
so
much."

We
kissed
again,
"So
where
to
baby?"

"We
are
going
to
the
airport"
she
replied.
"Who's
coming?
Are
we
going

somewhere?"
I
asked.



"Well…"
she
took
a
moment
to
continue
"Honey,
I
told
you
that
he
would
be

coming
to
the
city
for
an
hour."

I
was
still
clueless
"Come
on?
How
could
you
forget
that?
Didn’t
I
tell
you?
We

had
decided
that
we
would
be
meeting
Sharad."



I
was
dumbstruck;
felt
sick,
nervous
and
thirsty
all
at
the
same
time.
My
mood

changed
along
with
my
expressions.
"How
could
you
even
think
of
that?"
I

replied
releasing
her
from
my
arms.



"Hey,
but
you
only
said
that
you
wont
let
me
go
alone
to
meet
him."

"Yeah,
but
that
doesn’t
mean
that
we
should
go
and
meet
your
ex‐boyfriend.
That

doesn’t
mean
that
you
should
be
so
eager
to
meet
him?"
My
voice
was
loud.

She
judged
that
I
wasn’t
taking
it
so
well.
But
that
didn’t
change
her
mind‐set.

She
succeeded
in
convincing
me
to
come
along
with
her.
"It
is
really
important"

She
said
that.



Twenty
minutes
to
the
boarding,
and
that
jerk
finally
arrived.

"Hi,"
he
said
a
he
hugged
her,
my
fucking
girlfriend.
He
hugged
her?

And
she

hugged
him
back?
He
waved
at
me
too.
I
posed
a
fake
smile
in
return.
I
was
pissed

off.



Just
when
you
think
time
would
fly,
it
doesn’t.
That
hour
was
the
longest
of
my

life.
A
variety
of
events
followed
after
that.
I
not
looking
at
her,
but
sitting
beside

her.
I
not
talking
to
her,
but
listening
to
her
blabbering
explanations,
I
not
kissing

her
back,
when
she
kissed
me.
I
was
so
fucking
active
then,
wasnt
I?


My
Last
Love
Letter
(
A
Short
Story
)
By
Deepa
Arjun






I
went
numb,
had
anger
and
frustrations
inside.
What
further
infuriated
me
was

her
"It
was
really
important
to
me"
shit.



"What?"
I
yelled,
"What's
so
important
about
him?
Why
are
you
always
so
eager

to
stay
in
touch
with
your
ex?"

She
had
no
answer.
The
expression
said
so.



"Could
you
please
tell
me
why
are
you
up
every
night?"
I
asked
her
looking
right

into
her
deep
eyes,
my
expression
unchanged.

"Why,
I
talk
to
you
on
phone,
don’t
I?"



"Yes,
and
how
many
times
do
you
mention
about
him,
in
those
talks?"
She
had
no

answer.
She
started
to
sob.

"I'm
so
sorry.
I
love
you.
I
really
didn’t
mean
to
hurt
you.
I'm
loyal
to
you,
have

always
been."
She
choked
as
she
shot
some
snot
from
her
nose.
I
gave
her
my

handkerchief.



"I
love
you.
I
really
wanted
to
know
if
he
still
affects
me.
Now
that
I
met
him

today,
I'm
sure
he
doesn’t.
You
know
we
had
a
bad
relationship.
He
is
a
jerk.
He

never
understood
me."



"Then
why
in
the
hell
are
you
helping
him
complete
his
presentations?
Why
are

you
still
friends
with
him
knowing
that
you
had
a
bad
relationship
with
him?"

"Honey..."
she
started
sobbing
again
"It's
not
in
my
nature
to
deny
people
who

wish
to
be
friends
with
me.
And
I
did
his
work
just
because
I
wanted
to
tell
him

that
him
dumping
me
didn’t
change
my
own
self
at
all.
He
doesn’t
affect
me.
I

love
you...madly."



"Madly?
Madly?
You
are
insanely
obsessed
with
him
you...you..."
I
had
tears
in
my

eyes
that
I
was
pretty
sure
wont
hold
back
now.



Things
were
not
good
anymore,
but
my
love
for
her
didn’t
change
at
all.
I
forgave

her.
I
forgave
her
even
when
she
didn’t
tell
me
that
Sharad
had
tried
holding
her

hand
from
under
the
table
in
the
restaurant
at
the
airport.
She
told
me
this
after

he
had
left
saying
"I
withdrew
my
hand.
I
love
you"



How
could
I
believe
her?
But
I
did,
because
of
my
love
for
her.



After
the
airport
incident,
she
changed
a
bit.
Became
a
little
more
concerned

about
my
moods
than
before.
She
stopped
mentioning
him.
Our
comfort
level

somehow
restored
itself.
And
one
day,
we
got
intimate
at
her
place.
It
started
off

with
a
little
teasing,
turned
into
foreplay
and
set
our
hearts
on
fire.



I
kissed
her
forehead,
I
kissed
her
cheeks
and
then
I
finally
met
her
lips,
sucked

on
them,
nibbled
on
them
in
a
soft
encore.
She
tasted
sweet.
I
felt
her
breath

clashing
with
mine,
she
was
breathing
heavily
by
now.
I
kissed
her
mounts
from

her
clothes
when
she
said
teasingly
"Boobies
are
more
fun
when
clothes
are


My
Last
Love
Letter
(
A
Short
Story
)
By
Deepa
Arjun




undone."



We
both
laughed
at
it.
I
started
kissing
her
again,
more
passionately
this
time,

hands
rubbing
all
over
her
back
searching
for
the
hook
of
her
bra.
I
couldn’t
undo

it.
"Boy,
this
is
a
tough
job,
eh?"
I
laughed,
was
slightly
nervous.



That's
when
she
said
the
most
unholy,
most
cruel
words
of
all
time
"Sharad
was

magical
with
bras.
He
always
unhooked
them
in
a
sec."

My
appetite
for
sex
went
missing.
My
bulging
snake
turned
into
a
lifeless
twig.

My
ego
hit
an
all
time
low.
I
retreated.
She
kept
apologizing
endlessly.
But
I
left.



I
had
no
idea
what
would
I
do
next,
and
to
my
own
surprise,
the
very
next
day
I

went
to
meet
her
again.
I
was
so
infatuated
with
her,
that
all
her
mistakes

seemed
pretty
small
to
me.

She
was
happy
to
find
me
back.
Her
face
glowed
with
happiness,
pretty
much
like

one
glows
after
making
out.
We
embraced
and
that
was
all
required
for
yet

another
patch
up.



"Honey,
I'll
take
a
shower
and
then
we
are
going
for
a
movie"
She
said
as
she
left.

I
made
myself
comfy
in
her
cozy
bedroom.
What
was
I
thinking?
Deep
inside,
I

was
really
confused.

Why
am
I
forgiving
her,
overlooking
her
deliberate
mistakes

every
time?




I
had
no
clue.
I
only
knew
that
I
couldn’t
live
without
her,
I
love
her
very
much.
I

was
just
living
for
this
sake,
to
love
her.
Hoping,
that
may
be
one
day
she
would

love
me
back
with
same
intense
affection
as
I
do.
That's
when
I
caught
hold
of
a

diary,
her
personal
diary.
I
started
flipping
through
it.
And
to
my
regret,
I
should

say
I
shouldn’t
have
done
that.



April
16th
"I
called
Sharad
&
tried
to
discuss
his
indifference
towards
me.
But
he

can’t
give
me
anything
but
indifference.
It
hurts.
I
don’t
know
why
I
keep
taking

it"



April
22nd
"Somehow
Sharad
always
charmed
me
out
of
my
units.
May
be
it
was

the
background
focus.
May
be
it
was
just
illusions.
But
my
feelings
were
sure

strong
and
honest."



May
12th
"I
can’t
help
my
obsession
with
Sharad.
I
have
been
thinking
about
him

all
day.
Its
helpless."



June
15th
"I
kept
thinking
of
parting
with
Sharad
all
morning.
Wept
all
day.
I

already
miss
him.
I
still
loved
him
dearly."



August
26th
"I
had
talked
to
Sharad
for
about
an
hour
last
night.
He
definitely

thinks
I
am
in
for
him.
I'm
not
sure.
I
have
been
looking
for
him
online
even

without
wanting
to.
His
bouncing
back
affects
me,
makes
me
confused.
Although

I'm
already
with
Anuj
now
and
I
love
him.
But
I'm
unable
to
let
go
Sharad."




My
Last
Love
Letter
(
A
Short
Story
)
By
Deepa
Arjun




A
pearl
dropped
from
my
eye
as
I
skimmed
through
the
rest
of
the
pages
as
well.

I
threw
the
diary.
A
picture
flew
out
of
its
pages
as
I
threw
it.
I
picked
it
up.
It
was

Sharad's
picture,
dated
August
26th.
My
girlfriend
keeping
a
picture
of
her
ex
in

her
personal
diary
was
the
biggest
blow,
a
knockout
punch.



My
heart
ached,
bleeding
from
inside.
I
felt
the
world
crumbling
around
me.
I

wished
it
was
just
a
nightmare,
it
wasn’t.



I
left
a
note
for
her
"Goodbye
forever,
honey.
I
love
you
always"
My
last
love

letter.



I
went
home,
couldn’t
stop
crying.
Had
no
choice
left
but
poison
myself.
I
didn’t

wish
to
live
anymore.
The
girl
of
my
dreams
dreamt
of
her
ex
when
she
was
in

my
arms.
Fantasized
about
him
when
she
was
making
out
with
me,
searched
for

him
in
me.



I
died.



But
the
story
doesn’t
end
here
folks.
After
my
death,
I
got
to
know
about
the

actual
truth.
She
was
in
deep
regret.
That
she
loved
me
dearly
and
realized
her

mistakes,
her
indifference
towards
me.



That
wasn’t
surprising.
What
was
surprising
was
that
she
had
wished
to
destroy

that
diary
along
with
Sharad's
picture
that
evening,
as
she
had
started
to
love
me

back
the
same
way.
That
she
has
wanted
to
apologize
to
me.
That
she
wanted
to

marry
me.




But
I
guess,
every
perfect
love
story
doesn’t
have
a
perfect
end.
That's
how
it

happened
in
my
life.
We
weren’t
meant
to
be
together
and
God
did
us
in
the
end.

But
I
still
love
her.
I
love
her.
I
know
it’s
unimportant
to
say
those
three
words

anymore.
But,
I
Love
Her.


My
Last
Love
Letter
(
A
Short
Story
)
By
Deepa
Arjun