COMPLIMENTARY

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Publisher / Editor
Mike Strong

Table of Contents

Sales Manager

HEALTH FEST .........................4

Dottie Godberry

SWEET EYES W/ TANYA.... ....10

Staff Photographer

CHAMBER AWARDS.................12

Jimmy Dunkley

FOR MORE INFORMATION

PROFESSIONAL ARCHIVES .............22

225.622.3262
www.riverparishfoods.com

Contributing Writers
Bill Delaune

JAMMIN’ WITH GOOSIE........ 25
BILL DELAUNE........................26

Linda Melancon
THOUGHTS FROM BULLY ....30

Calvin Bessonett

Bully

LSU BASEBALL OUTLOOK ... 33

Goosie Guice
Orhan McMillan
Kellie Seymour
Tanya Stilley
Roland Doucet
Jimmy Dunkley

For Advertising
Information Please call:

Catch Some New Customers

225-622-1324

E-Mail Comments
to Stronggraphics1@cox.net
www.ascensionmagazine.net

Note: Features in this
publication labeled
“advertorial”
are paid for editorials.
All Rights Reserved.
Opinions expressed are not
necessarily those of the
publisher, editor or staff of
Ascension Magazine

18386 Little Prairie Rd.
Prairieville, LA 70769

• Locally Owned and Published
for 13 Years
• Most Popular Magazine
• 20 Plus Editorials
• Geared Totally Toward
Our Community
• Minimum 200 Indivdual
photos of our Citizens

St. Elizabeth Hosts 2015 Family Fest
Nearly 1500 people attended
the St. Elizabeth Family Fest at
the Lamar Dixon Trademart on
Saturday, January 31. The
event, which combined the
annual St. Elizabeth Hospital
Health Fest and the St.
Elizabeth Physicians KidsFest,
featured more than 80 vendors.

monkeys, while early arriving
adults enjoyed lunch totes and
shopping bags.

Participants were invited to
embark on a health and
wellness adventure through
areas that featured free health
screenings, food, inflatables,
interactive exhibits, live
entertainment and shopping.
The first few hundred children
received complimentary stuffed

Upon entering, families walked
through two towering palm
trees and found themselves
faced with an array of
screenings, samples and

4

activities. Children raced to the
face painters and balloon artist,
stopped by the tiki hut to
collect a prize, and bounced,
slid and climbed the day away.
Casa Maria’s Mexican Grill
offered warm tacos, chips and
salsa, and Rotolo’s Pizzeria gave
out free pizza slices.

The Ascension Fund invited
guests to try their singing skills
with karaoke, in preparation for
the upcoming Ascension Idol
competition. 2012 Ascension
Idol winner, Jenna Cornet,
played a four song set and
had everyone dancing and
singing along.
Countless St. Elizabeth team
members, community

5

ORGANIZED BY

volunteers, and St. Elizabeth
Hospital’s Women’s Advisory
Council members gave of their
time to make this event uniquely successful for the local community and its families.
St. Elizabeth’s Women’s
Advisory Council is a group of
professional women and community leaders, whose mission is
to provide the hospital and
physicians group with on-going

6

and constructive feedback that
enhances its services.
Ten local businesses sponsored
this year’s Family Fest. These
companies contributed to the
quality of the event, and
enabled the provision of many
screenings and exhibits. EATEL
served as the exclusive Stage
Sponsor. Silver Sponsors
included Atlas Dermatology,
Baton Rouge Physical

Therapy*Lake and
MedCare Medical
Equipment and Supplies.
AmeriHealth Caritas
Louisiana, Ascension
Children’s Dental, Casa
Maria Mexican Grill, Lake
Urgent Care, United
Healthcare Community
Plan, and Z Aesthetic
Dermatology all
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8

Suggestions for wearing
hoops confidently:

Similar to a favorite pair of blue
jeans, you can never go wrong
with a fabulous pair of gold or
sterling silver hoop earrings.
Whether embellished with
gemstones, charms, or beads,
hoops will work with almost

Size: Don’t go larger than the
palm of your hand.
Style: The hoop will work for
you whether embellished,
smooth or textured.
Color: Whether it’s sterling
silver, yellow gold, white gold
or this season’s popular pink
gold, all work well with any
outfit.

This season’s go-to fashion
accessory has been around and
around and yet it is back again.

Recently, the 1970’s era has
flooded fashion and award

Birthstones
February - Amethyst.

Hoops are
Hopping
with Layne Gautreau

Did you know!

any outfit from school to office
or a night out on the town.
Long known for setting trends,
fashion-forward actress
Angelina Jolie was recently
spotted wearing a slim and
streamlined pair of yellow gold
hoops. One does not need to
resemble Mrs. Jolie Pitt to
wear hoop earrings, as an
extraordinarily simple pair of
hoops can create an exceptionally striking look for anyone.

For those born in February,
sincerity is the personal trait
usually associated with this
beautiful form of precious
quartz. Sparkling and
trans¬parent amethyst can
range from pale lilac to
deep purple

9

shows across the globe. Soft
silhouettes, pastels, fringe, flora,
fauna and reptile motifs were
spotted mingling with yellow
gold and white diamonds. At
this year’s Golden Globe
Awards, top jewelry trends
included diamond fringe
earrings, open, lacey diamond
bib style necklaces, and the star
of the show, was the diamond
studded snake necklace seen
slithering around Naomi
Watts’ neck.

yourself. Some people have a
gift of forgiveness, but if that’s
not you, then forgive anyway.
You must believe in the other
person. 1 Cor. 4-6 says, “Love
is patient, love is kind. It does
not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps
no record of wrongs. Love does
not delight in evil but rejoices
with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres.” In
other words, you must believe
the best in your significant
other, otherwise, why are you
with them?

Hearts
Full of
Love
In February, there’s always a
focus on love and lovers
because of Valentine’s Day. But
what comes after the initial
attraction? Life moves forward
and commitment is put to the
test. But what truly gives a

relationship strength and
endurance?

another, truly enjoy spending
time together, and be able to
be transparent with one
another. To be able to speak
openly and honestly without
fear of judgement is a gift in
any relationship.

I believe that a couple must put
God first. When a couple is
reaching for similar goals and
has the same value system, it’s
inevitable that they will become
closer as a couple. God honors
those that honor Him first.
Praying together is certainly
one way to build a bond within
a couple.

In relationships, mistakes
happen, and you’ve got to be
able to forgive. If not, a
relationship will crumble. Real
forgiveness stems from the
understanding that for every
imperfection in your mate,
spouse, or significant other,
there’s an equal imperfection in

It’s also important to be each
other’s best friend. You must
have a comfort level with one

“A merry heart doeth good like
a medicine,” says Proverbs
17:22. Laughter is essential to
a good relationship, and if you
and your partner laugh
together it makes the tough
times that much easier.
Laughing releases feel good
endorphins and is good for the
soul, so if you laugh with your
partner, you bond on a
deeper level.
I think moving past small
annoyances is a great advice.
Perhaps the older you get (and
the older your relationship
gets) you realize some things
are just not worth arguing over.
Choose your battles and
build a better, more
peaceful, relationship.

10

We’ve all heard how important

Our office is
now offering
Botox and
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Did you know???

Botox could be used for
pain management for

weekly date nights for couples
are, but what about just being
present with your spouse or
significant other. Taking
moments of real quality time,
even if for just ten minutes,
with your mate can strengthen
a relationship. So, take time
out to have coffee, a conversation, or a glass of wine with
each other and be present.
Last but certainly not least,
don’t forget that loving yourself in a healthy way is imperative to a happy relationship.

When you’re not your best
self, you can’t interact with
those, including your significant other, in the best way
possible. Take care of you
body, mind, and spirit, and
your relationship will flourish.
Writing this article really made
me think about what’s important in relationships. Thanks
to all my Facebook friends
that gave me wise feedback
about their relationships. I
hope your relationships are full
of laughs, joy, and lots of love!

11

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Chamber Honors 2014
Success at Annual Awards Banquet

The Ascension Chamber of
Commerce honored their 2014
Ambassador, Individual, New
Business, Small Business and
Large Business of the Year at its
Annual Awards Banquet held
Tuesday, February 10, 2015 at

After dinner, the Chamber
celebrated the dedication and
commitment of their 2014
Award Nominees. The program was led by Board
Chairman Kendal Matassa of
Regions Bank and Chamber

the Clarion Inn & Conference
Center. Attendees began their
evening by networking with
fellow Chamber members
during a social hour, followed
by a steak dinner.

12

President/CEO Sherrie
Despino. Rae Milano,
Chairman of the Ambassador
Committee introduced the
2014 Ambassadors. Those
ambassadors in attendance were
Mike Bonfanti, Tracy

Browning, Terri Kaaihue, Jenny
Heroman, Nick Meyer, Carol
Pierce, Cheryl Rice and Semera
Welch. Individual of the Year
nominees were Katie Gibbons of
Red River Bank, Jenny
Heroman of EATEL, Barbara
Irwin of Pujol, Pryor & Irwin,
Attorneys at Law and Jacob
Waguespack of Faulk & Winkler.
2014 New Business of the Year
Nominees were Gulf South
Technology Solutions, Ogwyn
Bonaventure Law Firm and
United Medical Rehabilitation.
2014 Small Business of the Year
nominees were Pelican Point

Golf Club, Smith Chiropractic
and Tags and Titles. 2014 Large
Business of the Year nominees
were BASF Corp, EATEL,
Lofton Staffing & Security
Services and Skid Marks Tires &
Auto Services.
The Chamber is proud to
announce Terri Kaaihue as the
2014 Ambassador of the Year,
Jenny Heroman as the 2014
Individual of the Year, Ogwyn
Bonaventure Law Firm as the
2014 New Business of the Year,
The Pelican Point Golf Club as
the 2014 Small Business of the

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The Ascension Chamber would
like to thank Corporate
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Consulting Engineers, Inc.,
Lofton Staffing & Security
Services, Mike Anderson’s
Seafood, Red River Bank, St.
Elizabeth Hospital and St.
Elizabeth Physicians for their

support. The Chamber would
also like to thank Clarion Inn &
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14

Cosmetic
Denistry
By Calvin Bessonet, DDS,FAGD
Ascension Premier Dental

How Can My Dentist
Improve My Smile?
From subtle changes to major
repairs, your dentist can perform a
variety of procedures to improve your
smile. There are many techniques and
options to treat teeth that are
discolored, chipped, misshapen or
missing. Your dentist can reshape your
teeth, close spaces, restore worn or
short teeth or alter the length of your
teeth. Common procedures include
bleaching, bonding, crowns, veneers
and reshaping and contouring.
These improvements are not always
just cosmetic. Many of these treatments can improve oral problems,
such as your bite.

Bleaching
Bleaching is a common and popular
chemical process used to whiten teeth.
Some people get their teeth bleached
to make stains disappear, while other
just want a whiter shade.
Discoloration occurs in the enamel
and can be caused by medication,
coffee, tea and cigarettes.
Discoloration also can be hereditary
or due simply to getting older.
Bleaching can be performed by
your dentist in the office or, under
dental supervision, at home. Many
patients enjoy bleaching at home
because it is more convenient.
Treatment begins when your dentist
creates a custom mouthpiece to

ensure the correct amount of
whitening solution is used and that
your teeth are properly exposed.
Typically, whitening at home takes
two to four weeks, depending on the
desired shade you wish to achieve.
Whitening in the office may call for
one or more 45-minute to one-hour
visits to your dentist's office.

Bonding
Bonding is tooth-colored material
used to fill in gaps or change the color
of teeth. Requiring a single office visit,
bonding lasts several years. Bonding is
more susceptible to staining or
chipping than other forms of
restoration. When teeth are chipped
or slightly decayed, bonded composite
resins may be the material of choice.
Bonding also is used as a toothcolored filling for small cavities.
Additionally, it can be used to close
spaces between teeth or cover the
entire outside surface of a tooth to
change its color and shape.

Crowns
Crowns, also known as caps, cover a
tooth to restore it to its normal shape
and appearance. Due to their cost,
they are used in cases where other
procedures will not be effective.
Crowns have the longest life
expectancy of all cosmetic
restorations, but are the most
time-consuming.

Veneers
Veneers are thin pieces of porcelain
or plastic placed over the front teeth
to change the color or shape of your
teeth. Veneers are used on teeth with
uneven surfaces or are chipped,
discolored, oddly shaped, unevenly
spaced or crooked. Little or no

anesthesia is needed. Veneers are used
to treat some of the same problems
as bonding.
This treatment is an alternative to
crowns, which are more expensive.
The procedure requires your dentist
to take an impression of your tooth.
Before the custom-made veneer is
cemented directly onto the tooth,
your dentist will lightly buff the tooth
to compensate for the added thickness
of the veneer. Once the cement is
between the veneer and your tooth, a
light beam is used to harden it.
Porcelain veneers require more than
one visit because they are fabricated in
a laboratory. Veneers have a longer life
expectancy and color stability than
bonding.

Contouring and Reshaping
Tooth reshaping and contouring, is
a procedure to correct crooked teeth,
chipped or irregularly shaped teeth or
even overlapping teeth in a single
session. Tooth reshaping and
contouring, is commonly used to alter
the length, shape or position of your
teeth. Contouring teeth may also help
correct small problems with bite. It is
common for bonding to be combined
with tooth reshaping.
This procedure is ideal for candidates with normal, healthy teeth but
who want subtle changes to their
smile. Your dentist will take X-rays to
evaluate the size and location of the
pulp of each tooth to ensure that
there's enough bone between the
teeth to support them.

Which procedure is
right for me?
Your dentist can answer any
questions you may have about
techniques used to improve your

smile. The condition of your teeth
and desired result you want often
dictates the best procedure. If you are
considering a treatment, there are a
few questions you can ask your dentist
before deciding if a particular procedure is right for you.

What will the changes
look like?
• What should I expect through the
course of treatment?
• What type of maintenance will
be required?
• What should I look for in a
cosmetic dentist?
In order to make sure your dentist
is skilled in cosmetic dentistry, the
American Academy of Cosmetic
Dentistry (AACD) recommends that
you ask your dentist for the following
items before undergoing treatment:
Before and after photos. These
photos will allow you to examine the
results of other patients being treated
by the dentist to make sure his or her
work fits your dental needs.
References.
References allow you to get a sense
of the quality of care the dentist
provides.
Proof of continuing education.
Be certain that your dentist has
taken continuing education courses
to keep him or her up-to-date with
the latest techniques in clinical
cosmetic dentistry.
Your dentist can answer the
questions you have about the
techniques used to improve your
smile. The condition of your teeth
and your desired result often indicate
the best procedure for you.

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Ascension
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Useless Random Facts
with Kellie

Red hearts are a ubiquitous Valentine symbol.
Red is traditionally associated with the color of
blood. At one time, people thought that the
heart, which pumps blood, was the part of the
body that felt love. In fact, when the Egyptians
mummified their dead for burial, they removed
ever y organ but the heart because they believed
the heart was the only part of the body necessar y
for the trip through eternity.

Groundhog Day was originally
obser ved on Februar y 14.

Valentine’s Day was first introduced to Japan in
1936 and has become widely popular. However,
because of a translation error made by a chocolate
company, only women buy Valentine chocolates
for their spouses, boyfriends, or friends. In fact, it
is the only day of the year many single women will
reveal their crush on a man by giving him
chocolate. The men don’t return the favor until
White Day, a type of “answer day” to
Valentine’s Day, which is on March 14.

Hey Dr. Rob,
I have a question,
after my nap.

Valentine’s Day is a $14.7 billion
industr y in the U.S.

Me too,
after my nap.

Someone on Earth reports a UFO ever y
three minutes.

If two full moons occur in one month, the
second full moon is called a blue moon.

Google was originally called backrub.
The act of snapping your fingers is
called a "fillip"

10 dimes, 4 quarters, and 2 half dollar coins all
have the same mass.

Lace is often used on Valentine decorations.
The word “lace” comes from the Latin laques,
meaning “to snare or net,” as in to catch
j24
a person’s heart.

ASCEN SION P ARISH

A N I M A L H O S P I TA L

Famous people born on Valentine’s Day include
John Barr ymore (1882), Jimmy Hoffa (1913),
Jack Benny (1894), Carl Bernstein (1944), Renée
Fleming (1959), and Florence Henderson (1934).
17

225.744.4905

Mambo
Number
One
By Brandt Bourque

“Down in New Orleans,
Where the blues was born, It
takes a cool cat to blow a horn
…” If you are within an ear
shot of a parade during the
weeks leading up to Fat
Tuesday there is no doubt that
you will hum along to these
opening words to the carnival
season signature song, “Mardi
Gras Mambo," made famous
by the Hawkettes in the 1950s.
Mardi Gras contributes over a
billion dollars a year into
Louisiana’s economy with over
three hundred million coming
from the big weekend in New
Orleans alone. Although New
Orleans’ music has an
originality of its own year
round, there is a special type of
sound that becomes very
popular 47 days before Easter.
If you muster up the
courage, which I suggest you
do, and venture away from the
music display on Bourbon
Street you will be treated to a
true New Orleans original,
“The Mardi Gras Mambo."
Although its true roots began
outside of the U.S., the style of
Mambo played in New Orleans
is an original of its own.
Staying true to its Latin roots,
the signature of a mambo is the
beat of the music and a rhythm
section comprised of several
percussion players. A conga,
bongo and cowbell player are
18

used traditionally to make the
complex mambo beat. This
mirrors the bass, snare and
cymbal players used to
complete the percussion
section in a Jazz “second line.”
Coincidence? I think not. It’s
no wonder why the mambo
was taken in by the city and
used often during the carnival
season. Next time you hear the
“Mardi Gras Mambo” listen to
the drum beat and you will
naturally want to dance!
Another classic mambo used
during Mardi Gras is “Iko
Iko." Originally written by
“Sugar Boy” Crawford in New
Orleans, it was recorded and
made famous by the Dixie
Cups in 1965. This song tells
the story of a parade collision
between two Mardi Gras
Indian tribes. The phrase “Iko
Iko” is said to be the battle
chants for one of the tribes,
“Jock-a-mo” is said to be the
other's. In its singular word
form, “Jackamo” is said to
mean court jester, another
famous figure seen during carnival time. In the early '70s,
Dr. John’s version of “Iko Iko”
made its way to the ears of
national audience, and today, is
the most popular version heard
on the streets of the crescent
city. The story and its link to
New Orleans history took over
the city and set the modern
vibe for marching in the
streets.
It would be very rare to hear
this style of mambo anywhere
else in the world. Its sound is
synonymous with a feeling you
can only find down in the Big
Easy with a drink in your hand
and beads around your neck!
When you are out on your next
trip to Nola take a minute to
really listen and digest what's
happening inside the music
that is making you move. You
maybe surprised to find out
that the mambo has taken over
you body, and you can’t help
but move!

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19

YOUR ESTATE MATTERS
By Linda Melancon

What is a Trust?
And Why
Should Tom
Benson Care?
As a Louisiana estate planning,
estate administration and elder
law attorney, I am often asked
about trusts. In planning for a
young, irresponsible, or disabled
child, it is often advisable to use a
trust to hold that person’s assets
until they are old enough or
responsible enough to manage
assets for themselves. In the case
of a disabled child, this often
means money will be held in a
trust for their lifetime and then
distributed to other heirs at their
death. This also prevents the

disabled child from being
disqualified for government
benefits to which they would
otherwise be entitled. A trust is
also often useful in planning for
long-term care for an elderly
spouse or parent. A trust can be
used to hold their assets for
management by someone else.
It may also allow them to qualify
for Medicaid or VA benefits.
Another use of trusts is as a
means to avoid or minimize
estate taxes. A recent Louisiana
case involving Saints owner Tom
Benson and his family dramatized
this. As you can see, a trust has
many benefits, but just what is a
trust and how does it work? For
those following the Benson saga
and others who are curious about
whether a trust might benefit
them, the following answers the
basic questions about a trust.
A trust is a legal relationship
between three people – the
grantor of the trust (usually
called the settlor in Louisiana),
the trustee of the trust, and the
beneficiary of the trust. The
grantor is the person who makes
the trust. The trustee is the one
who manages the assets in the
trust, and the beneficiary is the
one who gets to enjoy the assets

in the trust. In the Benson case,
a daughter and two grandchildren expected to enjoy the eventual ownership of the New
Orleans Saints and Pelicans that
was held in a trust that Mr.
Benson established for them as
the beneficiaries..
A simple example of a trust
would be for me to give you
$100 and tell you that I wanted
you to use it for the benefit of
my daughter in paying for
educational expenses. If you
accept that responsibility then
you become the trustee of the
trust and you now have a
fiduciary obligation to me (the
grantor) and to my daughter (the
beneficiary) to use that $100 for
her educational expenses. If she
comes and asks you for the $100
to buy the latest new fashion and
you give it to her, you may have
breached that duty because the
instructions in the trust were to
use it for education.
Of course, most trusts are not
this simple. They usually contain
numerous instructions about how
the property held in trust can be
used, when (if ever) it can be
given to the beneficiary and what
the rights and duties of the
trustee are. As long as it is not
against public policy, it is usually
possible for a trust to contain
whatever instructions you choose
to place on the trustee and
the beneficiary.

20

Many people have conceptual
difficulty understanding how a
trust operates, but it simply
operates as a person would
operate outside of a trust. Thus,
the money given to the trustee
can be used to open a bank
account or investment account,
buy stocks or bonds or other
property or otherwise invest it.
However, the big difference is
that as trustee he is acting as a
fiduciary. A fiduciary has to put
the interest of the beneficiaries
first and do what is in their best
interest. This, in the Benson
case, the trustee has a duty to
manage the trust assets and
preserve value for the beneficiaries. That is probably why he has
so far refused to let Mr. Benson
exchange other property for the
Saints and Pelicans sports teams
that the trust now owns.
If you think a trust might help
in your estate planning, be sure
to consult with professionals
who regularly draft and help
administer trusts. A poorly
written or administered trust
may not survive legal challenges
and protect your loved ones as
you intended.
Mrs. Melancon has engaged in the practice of
law in Louisiana for the past 17 years. The primary focus of her practice is estate planning,
special needs planning, elder law and probate.
She is also accredited by the VA to give advice
regarding veterans’ benefits. For more information, please contact her at 222-744-0027.
You may also visit her website at

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By Tracy
Is it Need
or Greed?
Popular now on TV and the
Internet are videoed experiments
that record human reaction to
various staged situations. One that
was brought to my attention by a
12 year old boy showed a child
holding a sign asking for food. He
was dressed in ragged clothing, a
dirty face and hair and wore a
hopeless expression on his face.
One by one, people on the street
passed up the child. Few gave
notice to him, and none honored
his request with even a morsel.
“How could anyone ignore this”?
Why didn’t anyone stop to help
him? The 12 year old boy asked.
What a perfectly innocent
question this is. How COULD
anyone ignore true need? And
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First, let’s ask ourselves the
question, what is need and what
does it look like? Is it homeless?
Does it wear a sign? Does it work
two jobs to make ends meet? Does
it dress well? Does it have lavish
cars and accessories? Is it obese?
And, who determines who is in
true need? Well, in the interest
of government handouts there are
guidelines in place for every state
that outline what is considered
poverty. These guidlines are
overseen by trained employees who
have the authority to use their own
discretion when determining who
gets help and who doesn’t.
So, how are they doing?
Below is just one true and accurate
account of their training and
decision making:

A well-dressed, obese woman at
checkout with a nearly overflowing
cart of snacks, steaks and seafood
pays with a food assistance card.
She then leaves the parking lot in a
Mercedes. Behind her in line is a
woman not as well-dressed, complaining that the block of Velveeta
she bought just three months ago
now costs a whole dollar more.
She paid cash and left the parking
lot in a Taurus.
So, what is going on here? How
could someone who drives a
Mercedes qualify as impoverished?
The same person would have to
show proof of wealth to purchase
or lease a Mercedes. And how can
obesity qualify as hungry?
Working Americans, through our
taxes, pay for these programs and
for the employees who oversee
them. They belong to us. We
absolutely have all right to speak
about how our money is being
spent and to report on abuse.
When those claiming need are
living life better than those who
are footing the bill, it is abuse.
But many tax payers are leery to
speak out for fear of being called
names like bigot or uncharitable.
This social pressure to stay silent
seems intentional. If there is no
complaint, there is no problem. If
there is no problem, there is
nothing to correct.
So, to answer the 12 year old boy’s
question: How can we ignore true
need? We aren’t ignoring it. We
witness enough fraud every day
that we can see a hoax a mile away.

You Are What You Eat
You are what you eat is a fairly
accurate statement. At times when
you eat onions, garlic, or other
foods that have a strong odor your
body will begin to produce that
odor. The same holds true for the
taste of fish and game that you
may harvest. In fact, these fish and
animals will all taste different
depending on what they eat. The
environment in which these
creatures live in will also be a
factor. Water quality, plant species,
fish, shellfish, and invertebrates
that are available food all factor
into the taste equation.
Squirrels that have been feeding
on oak, pecan or hickory nuts will
taste better than those that have
been eating cypress balls. Rabbits
taken from upland areas generally
taste better than those that came
from the mucky marshlands of
south Louisiana. Whitetails harvested from areas of hardwoods or
crop lands are better table fare
verses those that have been born
and raised in our stagnant
swamplands.
Waterfowl have the ability to
travel miles to search for food.
There's times when preferred food
sources are not available. When
this occurs, several duck species
that normally feast on grain or
plant life will begin to eat fish or
small vertebrates. At times such as
this, those ducks may not taste as
good as they once did. I've seen
wood ducks, mallards, shovelers,
and other ducks with fish and
shellfish in their digestive system.
They will eat what they have to to
survive and don't really care about
how they'll taste. They don't want
anyone to eat them anyway. When
waterfowl develop this strong taste,
hunters sometimes rely on
different marinades to cut the
strong taste of the bird.
Fish also face the same fate in
the taste category as animals. Bass,
bream, sac-a-lait or catfish caught
from a black water swamp
environment especially during hot
summer months will not taste as
good as those caught in a clear
sandy bottom running stream. A
flounder that's caught on a sandy
bottom around the gulf taste much
better than the same fish that
you'll catch in the brackish areas of

the marsh.
Some people prefer fresh water
crabs over salt water crabs. They
say the crabs that venture into
fresh water are sweeter. I personally
like them all. We all have
preferences of crawfish taken from
different ares. Pond crawfish,
verses swamp crawfish, verses
spillway crawfish. You know the
rap. Again I like them all but each
one is suited for different
cooking recipes.
In the past couple of years I've
been fishing for Rainbow trout in
the Baton Rouge BREC ponds,
and this past year at the Lamar
Dixon pond. Since they are a fish
that I'm not familiar with, it's been
quite an experience to catch and
cook them in the proper manner.
Although they are a tasty fish, they
probably would taste much
different if they were being caught
from a mountain stream, verses
being farm raised from a hatchery.
One knowledgeable person on that
subject from our area claims that
the hatchery fish are fed artificial
food and that those fish don't taste
as good as they can when they first
come from the hatchery. Those
fish develop a better taste several
weeks after they are stocked and
have begun feeding on living
creatures in their new
environment.
Depending on where you hunt
or fish, water conditions, food
availability, and time of year,
animals and seafood may taste
different from time to time. With a
little knowledge of these things
you'll be able to prepare and cook
your game or fish accordingly.
I personally like to eat it all. So
to say, you are what you eat,
I'm a lot of things....

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The Ten Commandments of Mardi Gras
by Bill Delaune

Editor’s Note-The regular writer
of this column disappeared sometime
after the Spanish Town Mardi Gras
Parade. He was last seen in a
conga line with several six-foot
pink-flamingoed women (Or what
appeared to be women.) bumping and
grinding to a Donna Summers song in
downtown Baton Rouge.
If this was indeed his “Last Dance”,
let it be known that his early demise was
caused by not obeying…
”The Ten Commandments
of Mardi Gras”…

II
DON’T CATCH FOOT IN
MOUTH DISEASE
This one comes courtesy of my
personal experience files. While
battling two rather large women-oh,
what the hell, they’ll never read
this-make that obese trolls for
worthless trinkets one Carnival, I took

“Dose are our girlfriends,” roared
Antony and the pair started after me
probably thinking they’d each grab a
leg and make a wish. Fortunately,
there was a break in the parade and I
lost them by racing through the
Fortier Tarpon Marching Band to the
other side of the street. As I caught
my breath, I remembered a rule

“Not a problem,” said Dr. Tinker,
“I was in the same fix just a few short
minutes ago. But then I discovered
this secret elixir. I’m telling youthis stuff would raise Lazarus from
the dead.”
And so that is how, on one Mardi
Gras morning long, long ago, four
grown men-so hung over that their
eyes hurt-got their first taste of
vodka, Boone’s Farm apple wine and
Visine. (“I didn’t know you were
supposed to put the Visine in your
eyes,” Tinker later admitted.)

Well, once a year in New Orleans, the
world returns to that aforementioned
state of confusion with lots of lost
souls in search of guidance.

Pronouns such as “thee” and “thou”
have been translated into local slang
which brings us to the first
commandment…

I
LEARN TO SPEAK THE
LANGUAGE SOME
First and foremost, it’s not
New Or-leans with the accent on the
last syllable and rhyming with “jeans”
no matter how many old songs that
you listen to.
It’s Noo Awlins. And if you want to
greet someone in Noo Awlins, you
certainly don’t say something foolish
like, “How do you do?” The correct
form of address is “Where y’at,
Tony!” even if the person’s name is
not Tony. In formal conversations,
you should adjust to “Where y’at,
Antony!” being careful to leave out
the “h” especially since Pelican center
Antony Davis is such a big deal in the
Big Easy these days.
Omitting the “h” from “ninth ward”
is also acceptable as is ordering raw
“eysters” down at Felix’s. Tourists
should carry a copy of “A
Confederacy of Dunces” for further
translations and catch phrases.

One year my friend Tinker-yes the
one who led our band called
“Tinker and the Bells”- decided it
was time “to get down to some serious drinking.”
Now I’m not sure what kind of
drinking we had done in the French
Quarter the night before but my head
was hurting so bad that I couldn’t
open my eyes.

Once upon a time when the world
was in a total state of confusion and
there were no government bailouts, a
guy named Moses went up to a local
mountain top and came down with
the Ten Commandments-guaranteed
to improve your life here and now
and in the hereafter.

And so, as a public service to you my
faithful readers, Ascension Magazine
feels a moral obligation to publish the
Ten Commandments of Mardi Grashanded down by Mac Rebennack,
better known as Dr. John the Nite
Tripper, when he came down from
the roof of Tipitina’s one night.
These may not save your soul but they
have saved my life a few times during
the Carnival season.

V
DON’T START
DRINKING TOO EARLY

I think back then we might have been
that wrong crowd your mother
warned you about.
more licks than an all-day sucker as
the tag team of tanks took turns
battering my then bone-thin body.
Finally, I beat a retreat to the edge of
the crowd hoping my Dutchtown
letterman’s jacket was not torn to
shreds. Suddenly, a deep voice on the
side of me asked in that unmistakable
native accent, “Hey, bro. What’s that
‘D’ stand for? De La Salle?”
The booming voice came from a giant
in a Holy Cross jacket with more
stripes for football and wrestling
letters than one would find in the
zebra pen at the Audubon Zoo. Add
to that fact that his sidekick was an
exact clone with a similar jacket and
perhaps you’ll understand why I chose
a New Orleans response.
“Yeah. De La Salle,” I mumbled.
Wrong choice.
“Boy, we kicked you ‘Salley Dollies’
all over City Park last year, didn’t we,
Tony?” gloated Monster number one.
“Yeah you right, Antony,” laughed
Monster number two.
Blame it on the beer. Blame it on my
country boy-can-survive upbringing.
Blame it on the bossa nova. But I
just couldn’t leave well enough alone.

Randall told me they used in Viet
Nam-“Get in the middle and
keep quiet.”

III
DON’T TOUCH THE COPS’
HORSES AND DON’T SIT
ON THEIR CARS
Those horses wouldn’t spook if you
detonated a nuclear device at their
feet. I’ve seen people throw cherry
bombs, silver salutes and Molotov
cocktails at those horse and the nags
never even flinched. All you’ll
accomplish is giving one of New
Orleans’s finest a case of the redass
and then your evening will become
a night-mare.
The worst I’ve ever seen a guy get
beaten in New Orleans was because
he didn’t follow the second section of
this commandment. A pair of cops
approached him and asked him to get
off the police car. Twice! When he
refused, the men in blue pulled him
into an alley and played a passable
version of “South Rampart Street
Parade” with their nightsticks on and
about his body parts.
Remember-those guys are already
edgy and working 16-hour shifts.
If they tell you to move and the
crowd won’t let you-mark time.

IV

“Yeah, well I got hit harder by those
two tush-hogs up by the floats than I
did in the entire Holy Cross game,”
I sneered.
“Wait a minute,” huffed Tony,
“which two broads you talkin’ ‘bout?”
“Those two,” I pointed out. “Bertha
and Betty. The Butt sisters.”

KEEP ABREAST OF THE
CROWD-DON’T KEEP A
CROWD WITH YOUR
BREAST
Self-explanatory.

26

VI
REMEMBER WHERE
YOU PARKED YOUR CAR
AND WHAT HAPPENED
TO CINDERELLA
After attending Mardi Gras so many
times, you begin to think your vast
experience is going to give you an
edge. Just remember-the gods like
confidence, they don’t like cocky.
We were so smart. We parked our car
on the West Bank and took the ferry
across the river to the foot of Canal
Street. Everyone congratulated
Canton on such a wonderful idea.
No traffic. No parking hassles. We hit
the streets running and partied into
the wee hours.
There was only one small problem.
The last ferry from the East Side
departed at midnight and we arrived
at the landing area some time between
three and daybreak. Just like those
two star-crossed Indian lovers
Running Bear and Little White Dove,
the raging river separated us from our
car beckoning to us in the moonlight
across the way.
If you’ve ever wondered how you
would get to the West Bank from
Canal Street at four in the morning,
well I’m here to tell you. You take
the Algiers Loop bus.
And do you know who rides the
Algiers Loop bus at that hour-with
the exception of some dumb, drunk
honkies who left their car somewhere
over the river? Why every gypsy,
tramp and thief on his/her/its way
back to a project named Desire.

The bus driver eyed our group
suspiciously as we got on board.
“Y’all got a gun or a knife on any of
you?” he asked.
“Of course not,” came the curt reply
from one of our more self-righteous
members who had passed out on the
vodka and Visine concoction earlier in
the evening.
“Well, y’all gonna need one or both if
you go back there,” said the driver
motioning toward some shadowy
figures in the back of the bus.
“Y’all better stay up here with me.”
I practically sat in his lap all the way
across the bridge.

VII
DA WEST SIDE’S
DA BEST SIDE
The last horror story notwithstanding,
there are some great parades on the
West Bank-especially for those of us at
the end of our erratic-and eroticcareers. The crowds are pleasant, the
throws are plentiful and there’s usually
a bathroom within shouting distance.
Just remember Commandment II and
don’t ask a lot of questions.
Hollywood has tried in vain to
capture the true New Orleans accent
but there is a scene in the movie
“No Mercy” where a typical Westsider
pretty much sums up the feelings of
the area. If you were one of the few
that didn’t go to that flick just to see
Kim Bassinger slosh through the
swamp in a wet shirt, then you may
recall the scene where detective
Richard Gere starts snooping around
on the West Bank.
Finally, one of the natives informs the
star in classic Yat, “You start asking
questions in Algiers, Baby, and dey’ll
cut your @#$%^&*() tongue out.”
Amen to that.

VIII
MAKE A SIGN FOR A
BEADS BONANZA
People on floats love signs. Signs give
them a chance to show how accurately
they can throw and hit a target and
you can be the beneficiary if you’re
creative and clever enough.
Let’s say you’re getting a little heavy
to climb up on your old man’s
shoulders these days but you still
want to reap the benefits of Carnival
throws. Back off from the maddening
crowd and make a sign-ideally one
that will inspire love or-even
better-hate from the float riders.
My friend Buzzy, who now lives in
Key West where it’s Mardi Gras every
day, was the king of sign makers
during the 90’s. His picture of
Saddam Hussein with the inscription
“Scud Me” drew violent reactions-and
tons of beads-during the Gulf War.
His sign depicting Dorothy Mae
Taylor, the New Orleans councilwoman who wanted to do away with
Mardi Gras, drew a similar response
the following year. Not nearly as

successful was a poster featuring the
Clintons as one big happy First
Family in 1998. Buzzy later told
me he thought he’d figured out
the problem.

sitting on top of the back seat. He
had no beads but he was waving
one crummy doubloon at the crowd
like he had received it from Jean
Lafitte himself.

outstretched fingers. Flaunting
my two-foot height advantage,
I reached up…

“Most people didn’t get it because
they couldn’t distinguish Chelsea
Clinton from Socks the Cat,”
he explained.

“That’s the king’s doubloon,” I heard
one lady tell her daughter.

As I lay in the gutter, a burst six-pack
of beer foaming and gurgling around
me, there were a few things that were
painfully obvious. First of all, I was
lying in a gutter in a puddle of beer at
one o’clock in the afternoon and the
parade was still an hour away.

IX
LOCATE PROSPECTIVE
RESTROOM FACILITIES AS
EARLY AS POSSIBLE
“Find the euphemism,” Dr. Seuss
might have put it. Anyway, if you’re
not lucky enough to have a friend’s
house or apartment nearby, you need
to have a plan because in most cases
the local song about “There Ain’t No
Place To Pee on Mardi Gras Day” is
painfully accurate.
At the aforementioned debacle at the
ferry landing (See Commandment
VI.), a couple of us began to feel the
need. Thinking we couldn’t possibly
pollute the river any
worse than it already was in New
Orleans, we began to relieve ourselves
in the dark off the upraised ferry
dock. That’s when we noticed a boat
directly below our mainstream attack.
Gradually, as the waves turned the
boat into the moonlight, we could
make out the writing on the side“New Orleans Police River Patrol.”
Simultaneously, a voice boomed from
the darkness behind us, “Just what do
y’all think you’re doing?”

Big deal. I didn’t care if it was part
of King Solomon’s jewels, I wasn’t
playing that stupid game anymore.
But that’s when Fate decided to
throw me a curve. With people
crowding around his car and begging
for the coin, the king spotted me in
the back. His majesty looked me
right in the eye and motioned as if to
throw. Well, I thought, if he’s going
to single me out, I might as well catch
the damn thing. And with that, the
king sailed the treasured doubloon
right to me.

That’s when I fell off the curb.

Secondly, Webster had the king’s
doubloon and was grinning at me
like a possum eating grapes.
And if those factors were not bad
enough, my new Levis were torn at
both knees and strawberries that
would have made any Hammond
farmer proud were forming on my
kneecaps.

At first, I thought I wouldn’t have to
move a step. But then my old
outfielder’s instincts honed on
Sunday afternoons at the Prairieville
Ballpark told me I’d have to take a
couple of steps to the right and
backhand it.

But the thing I remember most clearly
is the woman with the little girl
shielding her daughter from me and
telling anyone who would listen,
“People like that are the reason I hate
coming to New Orleans for Mardi
Gras.”

Then a gust of wind caught the silver
circle and kept it airborne longer than
I had anticipated. Now I’m in a full
sprint and it’s going to be a Willie
Mays over-the-shoulder catch.
Despite keeping my eye on the prize,
I also became faintly aware of a small
black kid roughly the size of Webster
matching me stride for stride. I
glanced back and saw the doubloon
floating gently toward my

You were probably right, ma’am. But
people like that are the reason I still
go back.
Happy Carnival!

The zip of the zippers, the flash of a
badge and we were in trouble once
again. But when we explained our
dilemma and the cop realized we
would have to ride the Algiers Loop
bus to get back from whence we
came, he just laughed and mumbled
something about that being worse
punishment than be locked up in the
First Precinct Jail.
Who knows? I might have met Mister
Bojangles in that cell and become
Jerry Jeff Walker. Or I could have at
least penned a tale to rival Arlo
Guthrie’s classic “Alice’s Restaurant”.
There’s no telling what kind of
exposure I could have gotten from a
little indecent exposure.

It’s Tax Time

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The day after my brush with death the
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swore off chasing after beads and
fighting over doubloons.

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I put on a new pair of Levis, hooked a
six-pack to my belt the way I’d seen
my back-Galvez friends do and stationed myself at the very rear of the
mob preparing to watch thousands
make complete fools of themselves at
the Sunday afternoon Mid City
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Leighton
Champion

Pig Boy 2
Pig Slayer

Bully

Thoughts from Bully

2nd Place

Lebo

Superbowl
Rib-Off Crowns
a Champion Ringer
The morning of this year’s
Super Bowl Rib-Off started
like so many years before with
‘High Hopes’ that I may
break through and win one
finally.
Unlike years past I didn’t
bring any good luck charms
or place voodoo dolls around
to sabotage the other cooks. I
did something brilliant. I
asked about the rules and

how the ribs were judged. In
the past, I’ve been cooking
knuckle sucking tender ribs
that actually worked against
my score. Now I know what
the judges are looking for and
I’m ready to kick some
family butt.
I got the report from
facebook sightings that Big
Luke was spewing confident
rhetoric about the Brent’s

taking the podium again.
He and his wife Brandi
have won the last three years.
I walked on the back porch
and the first cooked arrived.
He was a first year cook. I
looked at him and knew right
away there was something up.
He was wearing over-alls,
which is taboo in my yard.
I’m the only one that wears
over-all’s around here. So I

3rd Place
1 Time Champion

Bruce

Future Champion

Shake

2 Time Champion

Big Luke

Team Wetley

2 Time Champion

Chopper

Brandi

2 Time Champion

Blue

1 Time Champion

Winner of the ‘Tickle’
of the television show
‘Moonshiners’
Look-a-like Contest

Jess

2nd Place 2014
with Zona future
curtain climber

Johnny

Supplier of the Gumbo
for the event

Andrew

Future Contestant

Evey

1st Rib-Off experience

Annie suckers Luke into a shot of his Jaegar
posing as a Cook-Off Judge. Didn’t help his score.
said, “Welcome to my
home but you are going to
look funny
cooking in your underwear
because I’m only get to
wear them hear.” Then I
smiled and he didn’t
looked so freaked out.
This year was great.
Along with the regulars
there were lots of new
crumb crunchers around.
Evey even supported the
best bib of the day with
her, ‘I like Pig Butts and I
cannot lie’ garment.
Andrew who is growing
up in his Mom and Dad’s
BBQ shoes was a helper
this year. He came to my
pit and ask for a hot dog.
I used some of my
homemade competition
sauce on his bun. With one
bite he smiled and said,
“Uncle Bully, thats sauce is
good. I’m gonna go warn
Dad.”
I knew the word had
circulated I had read the
rules and quickly jumped
to the status of a

contender.
Whether they were
nervous or not I can’t say
but this seemed to be my
year. I had a new BBQ pit.
A new found confidence.
It was time for the
judging.
As they announced the
winners Lebo was 3rd, I
came out 2nd and
Leighton was crowned
Champion. Come to find
out he is the Executive
Chef at Sullivans. By the
way he was the over-all
wearing contestant. He’s
cooking in underwear next
year.
That’s about right. A
ringer was brought in once
I knew the rules. I think it
may be a conspiracy.
My nephew Big Luke
pointed out that I was a
bridesmaid again. My
response was, “The Saints
won the Super Bowl with
Drew Brees. I’m the Drew
Brees of BBQ.” See Ya
next year.”

Lily

Proud of her Dad’s
last place finish

Potts

Wins this years coveted
last place spot

32

THE 2015
TIGERS
Baseball
Outlook

PROVIDED BY
LSU SPORTS INFORMATION

LSU coach Paul Mainieri has
always embraced high expectations
for his program, so the Tigers’ lofty
2015 preseason ranking is a welcome form of recognition. The Tigers
are ranked No. 4 in the 2015
Collegiate Baseball newspaper preseason poll released in December.
"I think the preseason polls are
great,” said Mainieri, who has directed the Tigers to one national championship, three College World Series
appearances, two SEC overall titles,
four SEC division titles and five SEC
tournament championships in eight
seasons. “Besides creating a lot of
excitement for the fans, it gives our
players a great deal of pride when we
are ranked high. To see ‘LSU’ as the
fourth-ranked team going into the
season is exciting; however, we are
not satisfied with that ranking. It just
means we only have three spots to
go to get to where we ultimately
want to be.”
LSU, the 2014 SEC Tournament
champion, was the NCAA Tournament
No. 8 National Seed last season,
marking the Tigers’ third consecutive
National Seed designation. The
Tigers have accumulated 150 victories over the past three seasons, the
most win in the nation in that span.
The 2015 roster features 20 lettermen, including 11 position players
with starting experience and eight
pitchers that have recorded innings
for the Tigers. The LSU veterans are

complemented by a talented class of
12 newcomers, rated No. 1 in the
nation this fall by Collegiate Baseball,
Perfect Game and Baseball America
in their annual recruiting rankings.
LSU’s incoming class features seven
players rated among Baseball
America’s Top 500 prospects nationwide, and four players appear among
Perfect Game’s Top 100 freshmen
prospects. The class includes seven
pitchers and five position players, and
four of the new Tigers were selected
in the 2014 MLB Draft.
“This is as good a class put together as is possible under the current
NCAA rules governing roster sizes,
scholarships, etc.,” Mainieri said.
“We sort of gambled and went after
some really talented players that we
knew would be draft risks who would
possibly not ever make it to campus.
However, in the months since they all
signed with us last November, in the
conversations we had with them and
the actions they were displaying, I
could start to sense this was a different group in that they would openly
express their desire to be here, be a
part of LSU, and understood the significance of being an LSU baseball
player.
“And that’s what you dream of as a
coach and what you want in the players’ attitudes as they join your team.”
LSU features three 2015 preseason
all-Americans – junior shortstop Alex
Bregman, a 2013 first-team AllAmerican and the Brooks Wallace
Award winner as the nation’s best
shortstop; junior outfielder Andrew
Stevenson, a member of the 2014
All-SEC Defensive Team; and sophomore left-handed pitcher Jared
Poche’, a 2014 Freshman AllAmerican.
Other returning position players
include senior infielder Conner Hale,
senior catcher Kade Scivicque, senior
outfielders Chris Sciambra and Jared
Foster, junior outfielder Mark Laird,
junior catcher Chris Chinea, sophomore outfielder Jake Fraley, and

sophomore infielders Kramer
Robertson and Danny Zardon.
Poche’ is joined on the pitching staff
by several capable veterans, including
senior left-handers Kyle Bouman and
Zac Person, senior right-hander
Brady Domangue, junior left-hander
Hunter Devall, and sophomore righthanders Alden Cartwright and Parker
Bugg. Sophomore right-hander
Russell Reynolds, who sat out last
season due to a shoulder injury, is
scheduled to return to the mound in
2015.
A stable of talented young arms,
including freshmen right-handers Alex
Lange, Jake Godfrey and Doug
Norman, and freshman left-hander
Jake Latz, should make an immediate
impact on the mound for the Tigers.
“A lot of the guys we will count on
this spring played really
well during fall practice,”
Mainieri said. “What we
have to do is continue to
get better in preparation
for the 2015 season.
We’re really fired up
about the returning players, and when you add
the No. 1-ranked recruiting class, it’s going to be
exciting to see how they
all blend together. We
feel strongly that something special is going to
happen with this group.”

Position Players

33

LSU has 11 returning position players with
starting experience, led
by Alex Bregman, a
2013 first-team AllAmerica and All-SEC
selection, who batted
.316 (77-for-244) in
2014 with 16 doubles,

six homers, 47 RBI and 12 stolen
bases. The Albuquerque, N.M. native
finished earned second-team all-SEC
honors last season and finished the
year with a flourish, batting .451
(23-for-51) in the Tigers’ last 12
games with six doubles, three
homers, 16 RBI and 12 runs
Bregman is joined on LSU infield by
senior first baseman Conner Hale, a
product of New Port Richey, Fla.
Hale, a member of the 2014 SEC
All-Tournament team, batted .306
(64-for-209) on the season with 11
doubles, one triple, four homers
and 29 RBI.
Sophomore Danny Zardon, a
Pembroke Pines, Fla. product,
emerged as the starter at third base
during fall practice. Zardon played in
28 games (13 starts) last season as
a true freshman, batting .268 (15for-56) with two doubles, a grand
slam and 10 RBI.
Sophomore Kramer Robertson,
who started in 30 games last season, is slated to be the full-time
starter at second base. The native of
McGregor, Texas hit .200 (20-for100) in 2014 with six doubles, one
homer and 20 RBI while displaying
outstanding defensive skills.
True freshmen Bryce Jordan of
Lake Charles, La., Greg Deichmann of
Metairie, La., and Grayson Byrd of
Milton, Ga., are candidates to earn
playing time on the infield.
Senior Kade Scivicque, junior Chris
Chinea and freshman Mike Papierski
should each see significant action at
catcher. Scivicque, a native of
Maurepas, La., and a member of the
2014 SEC All-Tournament team, batted .304 (56-for-184) on the year
with nine doubles, seven homers and
31 RBI.
Chinea, a Miami, Fla. product,
played in 42 games (25 starts) last
season, batting .250 (19-for-76)

with five doubles, two homers and 13 RBI. Papierski is a talented switch-hitter
who was selected in the 16th round of the 2014 MLB Draft by the Toronto
Blue Jays.
LSU has tremendous experience in the outfield with five players – juniors
Andrew Stevenson and Mark Laird, sophomore Jake Fraley, and seniors Chris
Sciambra and Jared Foster – each having played as starters during their
careers.
Stevenson, a superb athlete with tremendous speed and instincts, will start
in center field for the third consecutive season. The product of Lafayette, La.
was the Tigers’ leading hitter in 2014, batting .335 (68-for-203 with seven
doubles, five triples, 32 RBI and nine stolen bases.
Laird, a Monroe, La. native, who has 117 career starts in the LSU outfield,
will occupy right field again this season. Laird batted .291 (65-for-223) in
2014 with 10 doubles, two triples, 27 RBI and 10 steals while using his
blazing speed to make several outstanding defensive plays.
Fraley, a 2014 Freshman All-American, will start in left field after batting
.372 (45-for-121) in 49 games (27 starts) last season. The product of
Middletown, Del., collected seven doubles, one triple, three homers and eight
steals while driving in 29 runs.

34

Foster and Sciambra are highly-skilled veterans that will play prominent roles
in the outfield. Foster earned SEC All-Tournament honors in 2013, and the
Lake Charles, La. native has 55 career starts for the Tigers. Sciambra, a
Baton Rouge product, provided the game-winning single in the Tigers’ 2013
SEC Tournament championship game win over Vanderbilt, and he has started
47 games during his LSU career.
Freshman Beau Jordan of Lake Charles, La. - Bryce’s twin brother - should
also emerge as a factor in the outfield rotation.
PRIMARY RETURNING POSITION STARTERS
Cl.-Exp.
B/T
Avg.
Player Pos.
Jake Fraley
OF
So.-1L L/L
.372

HR
3

Andrew Stevenson OF Jr.-2L L/L

.335

0

Alex Bregman

SS

Jr.-2L R/R

.316

6

Conner Hale

INF

Sr.-1L R/R

.306

4

Kade Scivicque C

Sr.-1L R/R

.304

7

Mark Laird

Jr.-2L L/L

.291

0

OF

RBI
Notable
29
2014
Freshman All-American
32
2014 SEC
Academic Honor Roll
47
2014
Second-Team All-SEC
29
2014 SEC
All-Tournament Team
31
2014 SEC
All-Tournament Team
27
2014 SEC
All-Tournament Team

TOP NEWCOMERS—POSITION PLAYERS
Player Pos.
Cl.
B/T
Hometown (2014 School)
Mike Papierski C
Fr.
S/R
Lemont, Ill. (Lemont HS)
Greg DeichmannINF
Fr.
L/R
Metairie, La. (Brother Martin HS)
Grayson Byrd INF
Fr.
L/R
Milton, Ga. (King’s Ridge Christian HS)
Beau Jordan
OF
Fr.
R/R
Lake Charles, La. (Barbe HS)
Bryce Jordan C/INF Fr.
R/R
Lake Charles, La. (Barbe HS)

Pitchers
The Tigers features eight pitchers that recorded innings last season, but
LSU must compensate for the loss of Aaron Nola, the 2014 National and SEC
Pitcher of the Year. Nola was the first-round draft choice (seventh selection
overall) of the Philadelphia Phillies.
The returning starters include sophomore left-hander Jared Poche’, a 2014
Freshman All-American, and senior lefty Kyle Bouman, who had the secondbest ERA (2.12) among the Tigers’ starting pitchers.
Poche’ posted a 9-3 mark in 2014 with a 2.45 ERA as LSU’s No. 2 starter
behind Nola, recording 52 strikeouts in 91.2 innings. Bouman was 5-2 on the
year in 11 starts, and he registered 32 strikeouts in 63.2 innings.
The Tigers have four very talented true freshmen hurlers who will contend
for turns in the starting rotation – right-hander Alex Lange of Lee’s Summit,
Mo.; right-hander Jake Godfrey of New Lenox, Ill.; left-hander Jake Latz of
Lemont, Ill.; and right-hander Doug Norman of Fort Mill, S.C.
Latz was the 11th-round selection of the Toronto Blue Jays last June, and
Godfrey was the 21st-round choice of the Atlanta Braves. Lange and Norman
each earned All-America recognition from Perfect Game.
The LSU bullpen must replace 2014 closer Joe Broussard, who recorded
eight saves last season before signing with the Los Angeles Dodgers. The
Tigers’ most prominent returning relievers include sophomore right-hander
Alden Cartwright of Baton Rouge (1-1, 2.41 ERA, 33.2 IP, 25 K in 2014);
senior left-hander Zac Person of Eunice, La. (3-1, 2.57 ERA, 28 IP, 29 K);
sophomore right-hander Parker Bugg of San Diego, Calif. (2-2, 2.75 ERA, 36
IP, 29 K); and junior left-hander Hunter Devall of Clinton, La. (1-0, 3.10 ERA,
20.1 IP, 16 K).
Sophomore right-hander Russell Reynolds, who was sidelined last year with
a shoulder injury, is healthy entering the 2015 season, and he may develop
into the Tigers’ closer.
Other pitchers with opportunities to contribute include senior right-hander
Brady Domangue, sophomore right-handers Hunter Newman and Collin Strall,
redshirt freshmen right-handers Jesse Stallings and Ryan May, and true
freshman right-hander Austin Bain.
PRIMARY PITCHERS RETURNING
Player R/L
Cl.-Exp. W-L ERA
Jared Poche’ L So.-1L 9-3 2.45

IP
91.2

Kyle Bouman

63.2

L Sr.-1L

5-2 2.12

BB
SO
Notable
26
52
2014 Freshman All-American
16
32
best ERA of
returning LSU pitchers

TOP NEWCOMERS—PITCHERS
Player R/L
Cl.
Hometown (2013 School)
Alex Lange
R
Fr.
Lee’s Summit, Mo. (Lee’s Summit West HS)
Jake Godfrey R
Fr.
New Lenox, Ill. (Providence Catholic HS)
Jake Latz
L
Fr.
Lemont, Ill. (Lemont HS)
Doug Norman R
Fr.
Fort Mill, S.C. (Ardrey Kell HS)

35

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38

Donation to
Boy Scouts, Market
Update Highlight
Gonzales Rotary
Club Meeting
Gonzales Rotarians presented a donation check to
the the Boys Scouts of America at its February 10th
meeting held at the Clarion Inn in Gonzales. John
Goudeau, representing the Cypress Chauve District
of the Istrouma Area Council attended the meeting
to accept the check on behalf of the Boy Scouts.
Tom Martin, representative of Rotary International
based in Evanston, Illinois, was also on hand for the
February 10th meeting. He gave Rotarians a brief
explanation of Rotary International’s Permanent
Fund, a way to ensure that donations will be benefi-

Currently, the official rate of inflation as stated by
the government is 2.1%. Rhea said, that although
he suspects the actual rate is somewhat higher than
reported, inflation for the rest of the world is much
higher. Higher inflation decreases demand for
goods and services which in turn has a negative
impact on the economy.
The impact of oil prices on the dollar is also a
current factor in market performance. When oil
prices fall, explained Rhea, “this is generally tied to
recession, but not this time.” When the United
States is in post-recession, as it is now, it tends to
outpace the rest of the world. That is what we are
currently seeing.
cial providing for good works perpetually.
How much should I save for retirement? It’s a
question that many Americans have, and a
complicated one to answer. Much of the answer has
to do with the markets, and that was the topic that
Dan Rhea with Massachusetts Financial Services
(MFS) presented to
Gonzales Rotarians
at its February 10th
meeting. Rhea
explained that there
are a number of
factors that are particularly weighing
on the markets at
this time; global
inflation, the impact
of oil prices on the
value of the dollar,
and the overall
economy.

Lower oil prices, Rhea stated, are helpful to
countries who do not sell oil such as Japan,

Open House
with Kenny Cornette

Germany, and China, and, overall, is good for the
world economy. It places oil producing and
exporting countries such as Russia, Venezuela,
and Brazil under pressure.
Rhea said that if you were to look at the
unemployment rate in the United States and leave
out the oil producing states, it would be pretty high.
Oil producing states, however, are currently helping
employment rates nationally. So, overall the US
economy is in good shape and the S&P is in even
better shape with more money invested since
1955. Companies are keeping more cash reserves
out of caution following the 2008 recession, Rhea
explained. In addition, he said, there is pent-up
demand for information processing equipment,
industrial equipment, and transportation equipment,
therefore more spending is coming; and that is

Join Us for Our 19th Anniversary
with Justin “Top Gun” Cornette
39

Feb 21st from 2-4pm
We welcome our senior public
to join us in our celebration.
Refreshments Provided

2305 S. Purpera Avenue, Gonzales, LA 70737 225.644.1028

Get Your
Irish Parade Throws

good for the markets.

companies will be hurt.

Three of four signs that might indicate trouble for
markets are positive: there has been little wage
growth, no excess credit creation, and the markets
are relatively stable. The one sign on which
economists and investors are keeping watch is
external shock, world events such as the crisis
with Russia and Ukraine.

Since 39% of the average American’s retirement
comes from Social Security, this means the rest
must be generated by the individual. Although
there is no investment strategy that guarantees of
profit or protects against a loss, Rhea shared that
studies have shown that a 75 to 25 percent
investment in US equities to bonds at a four
percent annual savings rate offers the best odds
that one’s retirement savings will last 30 years.

In an economy like ours, discretionary consumer
spending will increase, but sales for exporting

CARNIVAL
MART

Gonzales Rotary
Donates Big to
March of Dimes

Davis

The Mardi Gras Center
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225.248.9720 • 800.229.6054
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e-mail: carnvlmart@aol.com

Rotary Contributes to March of Dimes
Genevieve Ress, Community Director, and Tasha
Cooper, Division Director, both with the March of
Dimes, were present at the recent Gonzales Rotary
Club meeting on January 13th to accept a check
for over $35,000. The funds were raised by the
Gonzales Rotary Club through a recent Ladies Gala

sponsored and implemented by the club. Ress
and Cooper accepted the check which was
presented by Rotarian and Gala Chair, Olin
Berthelot. Ress thanked Rotarians for “taking up
the cause” and for the very successful efforts of
the club in raising these funds. Ress noted that
the money is needed and will go to improve the
health of babies in our local community. The
mission of the March of Dimes is to improve the
health of babies by preventing birth defects,
premature birth and infant mortality. This mission
is accomplished through research, community
services, education and advocacy.

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GOHSEP Director
Addresses Rotary

mission of his office is two-fold: to prepare for and
respond to natural disasters and emergencies such
as plant explosions, and to prepare for and respond
to against domestic and external threats.

Louisiana is no stranger to disasters. And, if past
experience with disasters such as Hurricanes Rita
and Katrina have taught us anything, it is that
being prepared is essential to mitigating human,
financial, and structural losses during emergencies.
Kevin Davis, Director of the Governor’s Office of
Homeland Security and Emergency Preparedness
(GOHSEP), briefed Gonzales Rotarians on the
status and function of this office.

Davis praised local and parish emergency preparedness officials noting that they are very qualified
and do an exemplary job in keeping citizens safe.
GOSHEP’s directive is mainly to provide support
that local officials need in responding to disasters
and threats. “We leave the front-line decisions to
our local officials who are better prepared to make
decisions that are right for their areas,” he said.

Prior to the attacks on the World Trade Center in
2001, the various state and federal agencies
charged with preparing for and responding to
emergencies, primarily focused on dealing with
natural disasters such as hurricanes, tornadoes, and
earthquakes. However, the attack on September
11 made it abundantly clear that there more focus
was needed on unforeseen acts of violence and
terrorism. Therefore, Davis told Rotarians, the

40

In addition to assisting with preparation, recovery
efforts, and hazard mitigation, the office also
provides on-going intelligence to local agencies to
assist them in their efforts to protect the public.
Funding for GOSHEP comes almost entirely from
federal dollars, Davis said. Most of those funds are
used for rebuilding public infrastructure such as
libraries, fire stations, municipal buildings, and
roads after disasters.

Cooking
Gourmet
at
Home
with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS

Tues. - Thurs. & Sunday
11am - 9pm
Friday 11am - 10pm
Sat. 5pm - 10pm

Cajun Stuffed Peppers
99

$35 /ea.

Prep Time:
30 minutes
Cook Time:
6 minutes

Give yourself or
someone you love
the best stocking
stuffer ever,
a new you!

Ingredients:

Executive Chef
15 jalapeno peppers (cut in half
Ben Jarreau
length wise – seeds and pith
removed)
1
cup small diced white onion
¼ cup small diced red bell pepper
½ cup green onions (sliced)
8
ounces cream cheese (softened)
10 ounces pepper jack cheese (shredded)
1 lb baby boiled shrimp – rough chopped (90/110)
15 slices of bacon (chopped)
15 slices of bacon (cut in ½)
1 tsp fresh minced garlic
¼
cup bread crumbs
Salt, Red Pepper, Black Pepper to Taste

Get Your Skinny On

With Ideal Protein

Gift Certificates available
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Method:
In a pot, bring water to a rapid boil and blanch the jalapeno halves for
approx. 2 minutes then immediately scoop them and place them in an ice
bath to cool. While the peppers are cooling, in a large mixing bowl, add
your cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, garlic, green onions and shrimp.
Sauté the onion and red bell pepper until tender then add to the cheese
mixture. Next, sauté your chopped bacon until crispy and add to the cheese
mixture. (Grease too… YUM) Add the bread crumbs to the cheese mixture
and mix well. Generously stuff the peppers with cheese mixture then wrap
the pepper with ½ a slice of bacon and secure with a toothpick.

Chase Roy, PT, DPT

Now decide how you want to serve them….. Grilled, fried, baked….?????
If frying, pre heat oil to 350 degrees. Dust the peppers in flour then into
and egg wash, then back into the flour and fry for about 5 minutes or until
golden brown.

Proudly Serving the Dutchtown Community for 7 Years

If grilling or baking, cook peppers for about 8 minutes or until bacon is to
your desired doneness.

36501 Mission Street, Suite A

41

(Inside Fusion Health & Fitness)

Prairieville, Louisiana 70769

225.744-3631 • Fax 225.744.3647

10 Things about
Smoothies/Protein
Shakes You May
not Know
1. Energy – Proteins are probably the
best source for energy. Most smoothies either
come with, or can have protein added to them
easily. Unlike fats, proteins don’t need to be
converted to another form, before they can be
used. Unlike sugars, proteins provide a sustained energy source.
2. Feel Full – Proteins will leave your
tummy much more satisfied than starches.
1 – 20oz protein smoothie will leave you not
only satisfied, but can be your entire meal for
breakfast, lunch, or dinner!
3. Tasty – Many foods high in protein are
delicious! A smoothie with some protein in it
can be one of the best tasting things you eat
in your day! Who doesn’t like creamy milk
chocolate protein with some delicious
peanut butter?

The more healthy, lean muscle a person has,
the more weight he/she will lose due to
the simple fact that muscles have to be
maintained. Our body utilizes calories to
work towards the repair and maintenance
of our muscles!

4. Variety – Protein smoothies come in
endless flavor combinations. At Sunset
Smoothie we have anything from a Bahama
Breeze (strawberry, banana, coconut,
pineapple) to a Super Green (blueberry,
peanut butter, vanilla whey, banana, and
1whole cup of spinach) to an Incredible Bulk
(chocolate, peanut butter, banana, oatmeal,
choc whey, and choc muscle milk). You can
literally try something new every day!

10. All ages – Smoothies are great
for anyone. From a young toddler to an elder
person, there is something for everyone.
Extras are also available in smoothies.
Since smoothies are blended fruit
beverages, the items that can be added
in are endless!

8. Cellular level – Proteins are
known as the building blocks, because they
are required to build every type of cell in our
body. Any damaged cell, such as a busted
blood vessel, is repaired with proteins.

5. Lose Weight – People who consume more protein tend to eat less because
they feel full. Protein is satisfying, aids in muscle tissue repair, and also gives you energy for
your busy day! Put down the bag of chips and
come get a delicious protein smoothie!
6. Maintain your body – During
strenuous activity such as a sport, yard work,
or a workout, little tears occur in our muscles.
Proteins are needed to repair these tears, which
in turn, strengthen the muscle. After you weed
the garden or hit the gym, come stop by
Sunset Smoothie and we’ll help you out!
7. Tone muscle – Non athletes/gym
goers can still benefit from adding protein into
their diet. People often struggle to lose weight.

42

9. Create chemicals – Good
chemicals that is! Our body relies on a wide
variety of chemicals to function, many of
which are created from proteins.
Antibodies are key components of
the immune system. Enzymes act
as catalysts for chemical reactions.
Hormones send messages to
the brain. Proteins are required
to create all of these. A protein
smoothie is doing all kinds
of good by keeping you
healthy and full!

Tyler Terrebonne
Owner

With this coupon only. One coupon per visit.
Not valid with any other offers.
Expires MARCH 31, 2015

With this coupon only. One coupon per visit.
Not valid with any other offers.
Expires MARCH 31, 2015

With this coupon only. One coupon per visit.
Not valid with any other offers.
Expires MARCH 31, 2015

With this coupon only. One coupon per visit.
Not valid with any other offers.
Expires MARCH 31, 2015

Jeremy Langlois,
Executive Chef

Houmas House Plantation & Gardens
Invites You to Experience

Latil’s Landing
R

E

S

T

A

U

R

A

N

T

OPEN DAILY
Daily Tours:
Monday, Tuesday 9AM - 5 PM
Wednesday-Sunday 9AM -7 PM

Cafe' Burnside:
11 AM- 2 PM daily

Latil's Landing:
Wednesday through Saturday 6 PM- 9 PM,
Sunday Brunch 11 AM - 3 PM;
Reservations Required

RIVER ROAD, BURNSIDE, LA • 225.473.9380 • kk@houmashouse.com