Radio

By
Matthew Lepore

mlepore@caldwell.edu

EXT. NICE HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS - DAY

A quaint little Cape Cod. From outside we hear the sounds of
an argument between a MAN and a WOMAN.
The Man, 22, slacker-type, bursts out the front door. We
only see him above his waist. He is James, and he looks like
he smells bad.
The Woman, similar age, comes out onto the front porch. She
is Virginia. She looks pissed. In her hands are James
shit--clothes, records, suitcase, etc.
James walks to his car, parked out front; Virginia throws
his stuff at him.
JAMES
(dodging records)
Baby, baby! Im telling you shes
just a friend!
VIRGINIA
A friend?!
JAMES
Yes!
VIRGINIA
Youre wearing her thong!
We finally see James below his waist: he is indeed wearing a
sexy thong.
JAMES
...this is mine!
Virginia is not pleased.
JAMES
...they make me feel sexy!
VIRGINIA
Whatever James.
James laughs, but then realizes shes being serious.
JAMES
Baby, come on! Dont be like that!
Fwoom. His pants come flying at him. He stands there for a
second, face masked by slacks.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

JAMES
(muffled)
BAAAABE.
Door slam. James stands there a minute.
WE CUT TO:
INT. JAMES CAR - DAY
James sits in his car in a parking lot.
dirty. Fast food trash, candy wrappers,
the floor of the car. The smell of weed
enough to be visible. STONER ROCK plays

It is dirty. Really
soda bottles line
is almost thick
on the radio.

James begins sifting through his shit. He finds a note. Its

signed by Virginia. Even includes a little heart doodle.
James crumples it up and throws it behind him.
James opens a Gnarly Burger container. Its empty. He is
devestated.
Finally he finds a Zippo. He opens a small compartment above
the rear-view, and pulls out some rolling papers and a
baggie.
CUT TO:
James lights up a joint. He tokes and blows smoke
everywhere. The music ends and a PSA on the CAR RADIO plays.
CAR RADIO
Are you unsatisfied with your life?
James rolls his eyes.
CAR RADIO
Unfulfilled relationship? Lack of
motivation? Given up on your
dreams?
JAMES
Dont you know?
CAR RADIO
Well maybe I can help, James.
James coughs heavily, spewing smoke everywhere.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.
JAMES
Did you just say my name?
CAR RADIO
Surely knowing your name is the
first step in helping you out, no?
JAMES
But youre on the radio.
CAR RADIO
No, James, I AM the radio! And Im
here for you.

James takes a quick glance at his weed.

CAR RADIO
To explain myself in my most
efficient manner possible, James,
it has come to my attention thatJAMES
Alright this is fucked up.
James changes the station mid-speech. The Radio continues
speaking, his accent/diction/language changing with each
station.
CAR RADIO
(as an urban DJ)
--goddamn man, you got some
problems witchyo lady! And what
betta to help then-Click.
CAR RADIO
(as a country DJ)
--this ere hardy box o tunes I
tell you what. Waaaa-ell, Ill have
you fixed up fastern a plump pig
before Sundee breakfast-Click.
CAR RADIO
(in Spanish)
--todo lo que tengo que hacer es a
encontrar a ti mismo-IN SUBS: </ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FIND
YOURSELF>
Click. The Radio returns to its original voice.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

CAR RADIO
Well, have you come to a decision,
James? Will you let me help?
James takes another long toke.
CUT TO:
EXT. JAMES CAR TRAVELLING - DAY