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Keep in mind that Edward is still pissed at Jacob after that meeting in the woods (when Jacob ‘returns’ Bella’s motorcycle to Charlie). The first chapter might seem rather choppy since you’re thrown into a situation, but it gets clearer, and their POVs will eventually get longer. I promise. More notes at the end of this chapter. Enjoy!
I was so furious. Not to mention embarrassed. Stupid, rusty Rabbit owner. "Edward! Come back." I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and swatted it away without looking at it. It was the same swat that I gave Emmett on occasion. I still hadn’t realized what I had done when I heard the sickening snap. I didn't get a chance to turn around and investigate; I met the ground as I heard the joint symphony of shrieks and growls. The audio could have best been described as weeping angels and the earthly beasts guarding them. They don’t seem to be doing a very good job. I felt a strange pressure on my face that was only mildly unpleasant. Another on my chest. Like someone pressing their hands down. I opened and focused my eyes, having instinctually shut them upon impact with the dirt. Stupid, human habits. Oh, they were fists. Silly Jacob. His stupidity never failed. I wondered why he did not phase. Maybe he needed his hands. Or he did not want to phase so close to Bella... Bella. The reason that Jacob jumped on me. After a few more swats, Jacob rushed over to the girl, who had backed away about 10 paces and was clutching her limp wrist. Tears streamed down her face; she was shaking slightly. It looked like she was screaming, but my hearing was somehow clouded. I heard nothing. I had hurt my Bella without thinking. How could I have stopped thinking?? Without a conscious command to do so, my body quickly got up to see the damage. "Stay away from her! I'm taking her to the hospital. I knew you would mess her up like this. You've already run out of emotional abuse. It was only a matter of time." He was shouting obscenities in his head.
I could hear her pained sobs now. Even Jacob's appalled and dangerous thoughts could not block them out. I started walking over anyway until Bella looked up at me with fear in her eyes. I was not used to her fear being directed at me-- not since our relationship was brand new. It stopped me cold. But she shook her head slightly to make sure I got the message. I knew that I had to heed her wishes. It was the one thing I was sure of at the moment. So I just stood there, staring at the one person I loved the most being ushered away. The one person that I always hurt the most. I knew I would end up breaking her. The dog was right. I opened my eyes. I forgot that they were closed. It was darker now, with light rain. How long had I been here? It didn't matter. I stayed stationary. It was colder than it should have been for the season, but my cold skin paid the temperature no mind. It was almost like nature was mocking my frozen body. My disturbed thoughts were all-too-soon interrupted by vapid ones. Where the hell is he? He won't even answer his phone. We were supposed to spend "quality time" with him and his little pet. It was his idea. She still annoys me. And I'm the one that has to go find them? I wanted to finish my nails... Ah, Rosalie. I kept my eyes closed and wished that this would make me invisible as well as deaf. I would rather hear my own miserable thoughts than feel like I took part in the decision between ‘cherry red’ and ‘sparkling crimson.’ Emmett jumps her no matter what. A part of me realized that I should have called Carlisle at the hospital by now to check up on her. He was working. But I could not stand to hear his disapproval right now; I had plenty to go around. Maybe now she will banish me forever. I wish she would. But I could not leave her again by my own doing. I promised her that just two months ago. Damn promises. I wondered if Jacob would let Bella lie at the hospital. She’d probably say that she tripped again. But he would tell Charlie for sure, and then I would be banned from his house. Maybe he’d get Bella a restraining order. Bella won't care. She'll move into a house of freaking vampires so she can be with me. That thought concerned me as much as it thrilled me. But I still didn’t know if Jasper could handle everyday contact with her. I was often glad that he couldn’t read my mind and hear my doubt.
I sighed. I was thinking far too ahead. Maybe she wouldn’t forgive me this time. Stupid Rosalie was getting close. It did not seem like Carlisle had told the family yet. There was a good chance that Alice might actually kill me when he did. Deciding now was a good time to move my legs as any, I ran off in the opposite direction, toward our meadow filled with happier times.
I woke up and immediately recognized my home away from home: The hospital. They should really start giving me a discount. Or an award... I squinted and saw Jacob sitting next to me on the plastic chair. It reminded me of my many motorcycle emergencies that ended this way. Though the atmosphere seemed much darker today for some reason. And he was holding my hand for the first time since I left for Italy. I used to think about how our hands matched up so nicely. Now his scorching skin felt too hot and filled me with guilt. But I let him keep his hold on me. Because he was staring at me in a way that told me it was time for a talk, and I couldn’t find the strength to pull away. “Hey,” he acknowledged my consciousness casually, but with many unsaid promises. “Hey,” I repeated flatly. “So...what did I trip over this time? I can’t remember.” My throat was dry and I sounded feeble. “You didn’t trip for once. Shocking, I know,” he said with a grim smile. “You fainted after your x-ray...they wheeled in a trauma patient right next to you.” I looked down at my encased wrist in confusion, not interested in my low tolerance for blood at the moment. I considered raising my arm in question, but thought better of it. I raised my eyebrows instead, and Jacob bit his lip. “It...was Edward. I’m sorry.” “What! What happened to Edward?” I asked, panicked. He always seemed so indestructible to me. “Nothing happened to him.” Jacob was fuming. “What?” I repeated dumbly, not in the mood for games. “He broke your wrist!” he exploded. “Okay? He snapped it. I told you he was screwed up.”
I blinked. It was really low for Jacob to make up stories like this. “I don’t believe that,” I chastised. “Of course not. But maybe you’ll figure it out when he does not come visiting. I told him to stay away.” Budding tears burned me. I did not want him to stay away. Even if he did do this, which he didn’t. I closed my eyes, feeling an extreme tiredness having nothing to do with my damaged body. “Can I have a few minutes, Jacob?” I whispered. “Sure, I’ll get some food.” His easy voice contained no more of the anger it had before. He was just Jake, my careless and loyal friend whom I had missed more than I liked to admit. Beneath closed lids, my eyes instinctively retraced my steps. Memories of the day swirled around my mind. I remembered the first ones clearly: Jessica complimenting my shoes in a way that was an insult, dropping my apple, acing my calc quiz, getting a call from Jacob asking me to meet up after school. Edward planning a game night, Jacob persuading me to go to some party at La Push instead. The forest. The sound of a tree snapping. No, not a tree-I gasped and opened my eyes. My left wrist burned. I hated to think what it would feel like with no pain meds at all. Well, I didn’t care that he broke my wrist. It was an accident and he was angry at Jacob. I should have gone to his family’s game night. How very rude of me. A stout nurse walked in, asking if I needed more medication. My savior. While she worked, she asked what caused such a bad break. The “young man” with me had eluded telling them anything. “Oh, I slipped in my kitchen, on some water. You know me.” She smiled slightly and I tried to do the same.
My arm clung to Bella’s waist as we walked through the hall between classes. I should have beaming with the most beautiful girl in the world right next to me, but there was a subtle frown on my face. She was still too skinny, even though she had finally started to gain a little weight.
Her phone’s ringing interrupted my worried thoughts. “Hello?” she answered cheerfully yet questioningly. I had seen that it was an unknown number. “Oh hey Jake,” she said with politely-controlled trepidation. I suddenly regretted finally buying her a cell phone of her own. She did not notice when I cringed. “Aren’t you at school, too?” she questioned with a hint of disproval. That was my Bella, alright. Always worrying about others. I heard Jacob mutter about being right outside of the building. Then he asked to meet with her. I refused to let my grip tighten around her thin, fragile waist when she accepted without consulting me. It didn’t matter what she claimed to be true. Jacob Black and every werewolf were a danger to my mate. “Umm..sure. I’ll be home at around 3:30. See you then, on the path to the right.” She looked up at me sheepishly as she hung up. “I’m coming,” I insisted in a hiss. “I know,” she sighed. “He says hi.” School sped by. Then Jacob was staring at Bella. I was staring at Jacob. Bella was staring at her shoes. I wanted to pound Jacob right then. He was imagining…doing things to her. In the rain. But it was always raining here, so I could not quite call him a girl for adding that detail. If anyone was going to have sex with her, it was going to me, damn it. But it couldn’t be me, so I hope she had come to terms with being a virgin indefinitely, like myself. Oh God. Jacob tore me away from my horror. “So Bella, he’s not very trusting, is he?” he smirked. After a tense silence and a glare from me, he moved on. “Go to a party with me tonight? The whole pack will be there. They all miss you a ton.” I didn’t like his poorly-formed question that sounded more like a demand. Before she could answer, I interrupted. “If I don’t want her hanging out with one mutt, I certainly won’t send her off to an entire pound.” “You don’t own her, just because you saved her life a few times. I have too, you know.”
“I already thanked you for that,” I reminded through venom-coated teeth. “You could come too, you know,” he placated with false innocence. But I had already seen that it was at La Push. Like I would hang out with canines all night anyway. One sniff and I would gladly throw away my excellent sense of smell. “Sure,” she replied quietly. “I’d love to.” I gaped. “Bella. You’re coming to my house tonight already, remember. My whole family will be there.” I would not tell her how difficult it was to make that happen. I would not hurt her like that. “Your whole family is always around. Except Rosalie, who avoids me. I really won’t miss her death glares. Though it is a shame when she steals Emmett away. Can’t we reschedule?” Damn it, Bella. I had to bribe Rosalie into coming. Well I guess blackmail would be more accurate… Fine. I would go play on an enlarged chess board and hate every minute of it. But she had better take a shower when she gets back. If she even makes it back. I must have looked pained before I stormed off. “Edward. W--”
I snapped my eyes open. I knew the rest. An attempted sigh from my lips failed; just a strangled sound emerged. My hands idly twisted a plucked blade of grass as I watched the grey clouds roll into town, promising gloom for all unfortunate souls beneath them. And what of the soulless? The blade ripped in two. I raked my hand through my hair and tugged sharply, hoping to feel a different kind of pain. But it was no use. There was nothing to distract me from the events of the day and the truth. I should have foreseen a storm coming.
I awoke from my nap to the not-so-soothing sound of humming equipment. Jacob was no longer next to me; he had apparently scribbled something down on a Post-It. I almost chuckled.
I really hoped that whatever came up did not involve fighting. I traced my blue cast with my pointer finger, thinking of anything but the fact that no other visitors had shown up. I ordered my eyes not to look at the ugly, empty plastic chair parallel to the bed. At least the cast won’t get in the way at work. I shook my head and laughed humorlessly. While the familiarity and routine of work had helped to steady me upon Edward’s return, I didn't put up much of a fight when he begged me to quit a week and a half ago. It was perfect timing since Mike’s cousin was now staying with the Newtons, and needed a job. And of course, Edward knew this. It probably not very smart on my part, but I wanted as much time as I could have with Edward, now that I knew how it felt without him. In case we were separated in the future, for any reason, I didn't want to look back on any time wasted with tackle lines. I really didn’t like the new direction of my drifting thoughts. So, instead, I idly wondered how they picked the color of my cast when I was too unconscious to choose. Edward always liked me in blue. The realization that I put that in the past sense terrified me. But I didn't have much time for interpretation before the door to the room opened. Carlisle walked in confidently with a pensive expression on his face. He sat down next to me, and I could tell that he was trying to look soothing and reassuring. Carlisle may have looked the part, but he did not have the desired effect on me. I suppose that’s my fault, though. “What really happened, Bella?” he asked gently. He paused, searching my face. “I know you’re a danger to yourself, but this break does not seem likely. I was at an accident scene when you arrived so I just got your chart recently and was waiting for you to wake up.” “Is everyone okay?” I asked quietly. “Yes, they were just afraid to move the passengers so they called me. They will recover. Now please answer my question.” I sighed. “Edward and I went to meet Jake and they were arguing--” “Jacob did this? When he tried to phase?” I had never seen the doctor show anger until now. “No! He stopped himself from phasing. I don’t even know how. It was remarkable… Anyway, Edward huffed away and then swatted my hand away without thinking, and here I am.”
I shrugged, trying to downplay the situation to no avail. Carlisle now looked even more horrified. “Have you heard from him at all?” I allowed myself to whisper. He shook his head and donned a sympathetic look that made me turn away. “You’re free to go home now if you feel up to it, but don’t forget these.” He handed me a little bottle. “Charlie called and said he was on his way.” “I’ll take care of this, Bella,” he added before walking out.
I ran my palm over her comforter, trying to resist climbing on top of the bed. Why am I here? I asked myself that question the first night I ever watched her. I was just as hopeless now. More. But staring at her lips was something I could not resist. They were even more beautiful than the curve of her side, the slight waves in her hair. And even though I could not see her deep brown eyes behind her lavender lids, it was enough to know that they were there. I tried not to remember what those eyes looked like the last time I saw her. There is time for that later. The sun would rise in only a few hours, and it would feel like minutes. My phone buzzed. I ignored it like usual. What was I going to do? Break my promise; break her heart? Or stay in this impossible arrangement and break her piece by piece? I was so prideful. I thought I could walk this line like a damned trapeze artist. But I’m just a sappy vampire in love with the only girl in the world. I pinched the bedspread to occupy my greedy hands. I want to kiss her forehead. I really shouldn’t. But I had done this countless times. And I was under control at the moment. I carefully hovered over her, my hands on either side of her face, as my cool lips met her forehead. It was slightly pulsing beneath me with her fragile little heartbeat. I could not resist stroking her cheekbone, either. Her skin felt like fire in the best way possible. “You promised,” she whispered, still held by slumber. My chest felt icier as I righted my posture. I couldn’t be sure of which promise was haunting her; I had broken so many. Perhaps she was dreaming of when I left her in the forest, after partially promising never to leave her. I knew that she still had nightmares about that occasionally.
Luckily, the screaming had stopped a few days after we returned from Italy. I was furious to find that Charlie had come to ignore her cries, but most of my anger was directed at myself... Or maybe she was referring to my promise to never hurt her. I gazed at the chunky cast displaying my betrayal, knowing that more existed than just physical hurt. So I would stay if she would have me. I had to. But I wouldn’t touch her. If I’m going to walk this impossible line, I might as well raise it a little higher off the ground.
My arm is on fire. Edward is gone. Gone for good. He didn’t love me. I was probably just a science experiment after all. The ground is so cold... I gasped and opened my eyes. Just a dream. But the pain was there in my wrist. And I was very much alone. Before I could slip into an all-too-familiar depression, I noticed a note on my pillow
I clutched the paper nervously and stared at his script. Changes? I did not like the sound of that. *** I ran four fingers over the top of my warm locks. I didn't know why I was so nervous. I’ve dried my hair for far too long now. I also had actually put some makeup on and was not wearing sweats. But I kept looking in my full-length mirror anyway. I hesitantly turned off the hair dryer and my hand shook from the lack of distraction.
Charlie was having dinner at Billy’s right now, so I was spending time usually used on cooking for vain purposes. To stay home, I had to lie and say I was sick. The truth was becoming rarer these days, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. “How’s your wrist?” I jumped at the sound as Edward slid through my window. Oh, who cares about my stupid wrist? “Fine,” I lied automatically. He shot me a grave look, but I walked over to reach for him, regardless. I hadn’t seen Edward in over 24 hours, and my heart ached for him. He backed away from my advance until his shoulders hit the window pane. “What’s wrong?” My voice was dripping with suspicion but laced with hurt. He took a deep breath. “I’m not going to touch you any more, Bella. So conversely, you can’t touch me either. Please. It’s too tempting to reciprocate. But I’ll still enjoy your company. Earning your smiles, talking late at night…none of that will change. I just don’t want to take any chances.” I stared at his quieted mouth, thinking that I must have imagined that whole spiel. But he just stood there patiently, warily. He had lost his mind. “Are you kidding me?” I questioned, my voice picking up volume. “The no sex thing was bad enough. Now I can’t even hold your hand or lie on your chest! I guess you won’t be spending the night anymore.” “Well I can always sit in the rocking chair, if you don’t mind.” I just glared at him, finding no words. “What do you want from me, Bella? I’m trying to protect you,” he softly pleaded. My contained words spilled out at once. “What do I want?” I started hysterically. “I want a boyfriend who does not look terrified when I try to kiss him. One who does not hide things from me or make choices that affect me without asking my opinion. One who does not always need to be in control. Who understands that I have lived only 18 short--” I was only halfway through my rant, but my room was now hauntingly empty. “One who does not leave,” I added in a trembling whisper.
I had been running less than a minute when I was pushed to the ground by a midget pixie. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she spat above me. I swore that her venom misted my face. “I already feel terrible about her wrist, Alice. I’m sorry, but I doubt you can make me feel worse.” My voice sounded exceptionally flat. Her expression flickered to one of guilt and her hands released my shoulders. “I’m not mad at you for that. I’m mad at myself. I should have seen--” “You know that you can’t see the wolves.” My generous words softened the fact that I was trying to shove her off of me. “Still,” she pouted as she got up, dusting off her designer jeans. “So what are you pissed at me for?” “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you abandoned Bella again, leaving her injured and alone once more. Even after you promised to stay.” She glared at me with her pitch-black eyes as she continued. “Saying ‘never touch you again’ was a little much, don’t you think? She’d be changed in just a month, unless--” “I didn't say never,” I interrupted, not wanting to hear if she was about to declare I already screwed up our future long before now. Luckily, her thoughts were too scattered to decipher clearly. Truth be told, I thought the new policy might have lasted quite some time if I convinced Bella to put off her change. I didn't think she would assume the strain would last forever, though. Alice sighed, exasperated. “You implied it, and she was too shaken to think otherwise. You’re so freaking dramatic, Edward, I swear. How can you expect her to let go of Jacob when you’re flighty and might leave at any moment? No wonder she’s dragging him along. It’s not fair to any of you.” “I don’t know if you caught the whole conversation,” I darkly mocked her inherent eavesdropping, “but she made it clear that she wants someone else.” “You moron. She meant that she wanted you to be those things.”
“Well that’s impossible. My overprotective nature is as deep-rooted as her stubbornness and lack of balance,” I said without the slightest humor. “You fight with her former quality daily. You don’t think she deserves the same chance?” “I can’t change.” “You changed for Bella once. I bet you can do it again.” “Goodbye, Alice,” I said as coldly as possible. I fought back the pain brought by telling my little sister those words. “I’m not letting you do this.” “And how will you stop me?” I challenged cockily, secretly dreading her answer. She certainly had a way of meddling, and Bella deserved better. “I’m quite creative.” “Right. Well I’m going home to pack my stuff, and then I’ll be out of your hair. You will take good care of Bella.” My last sentence was a command, not reassurance.
I sobbed into my pillow, not knowing if Edward would return this time. I was sure that it had only been a few minutes since he left, but the grief I felt would have been much more reasonable if spread out over a few hours. I suddenly heard someone come in my window, and I glanced over hopefully. I recognized the pale skin at once. “Hey Jasper.” It sounded more like a question. “Hello, Bella,” he countered politely. He was still a stationary fixture next to the window. I realized that he must have been feeling my waves of hurt at the moment, but I could not tone it down. Still, for his sake, I tried to control my disappointment in the fact that he was present instead of his brother. “So, why are you here? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to see you. It’s just that…” I started growing drowsy. “It was unexpected--” If I had been in higher spirits, I would have joked to myself that he wanted a midnight snack.
My mind lazily held that thought for just a moment, and then I was out.
I started packing my things, leaving an exasperated family downstairs. “I can’t believe he did this. He has always been so careful. He has never hurt her before.” “He wants me to look after her. What does he expect me to do? Bella-proof every cliff on the West Coast?” “I can hear you!” I yelled into the empty air of my room. “Good,” Carlisle countered solemnly. “This idea of yours is insane. She won’t survive this.” “She listed qualities any normal boy could have. She will be happy with one of them,” I reasoned. Goodness knows that she could have her pick. I winced as I zipped up my bag. I glanced at my CD shelf once more in desperation. Where the hell is it? I reluctantly went down to the living room, hoping to make any future conversing slightly more mature. “Do you know where my Debussy CD is?” I asked the five shell-shocked faces. “I need it.” I hardly needed it. I wanted it. I wanted to be able to hold a piece of our first dance together, even though I didn’t deserve it. Sure, I had an iPod, but it wasn’t the same. “I think Jasper borrowed it,” Alice said curtly, her eyes burning into the usual spot on my head. “Where is Jasper?” I asked, finally noticing his absence but barely caring enough to make conversation. “I told him to calm Bella down. He’ll probably be in there for a while until she is deeply asleep.” “You sent Jasper over there alone?!” I thundered. She was obviously annoyed that her glaring had no effect on me. “Yeah, so?” she shot back petulantly. I dropped my bag and was out of the house in an instant. Just the thought of Jasper in her room, with her scent saturating all of her things... I knew Alice was following me but we both accepted that I would make it there first. I soon jumped through Bella’s window with ease. Jasper was on my rocking chair and Bella was sound asleep. Thank God he’s not actively breathing.
“Jasper. Out. I got it from here.” I clenched every muscle in my body; my self-control hung by a thread. Jasper looked perplexed for a moment, then guilty. He was gone a second later. Alice arrived, looking more pissed than before. I didn't think that was possible. We spoke in hushed sounds that Bella would never hear, even if she was awake. “What is wrong with you?” she accused. “What’s wrong with you? This was your genius plan? Make me worry that Jasper was over here gorging himself? Mission accomplished. I never thought you would turn us against each other like that.” I was disgusted. Alice looked it as well. “That was not my plan at all! When you came downstairs, I was about to think of things that would make you stay. I had no idea that you still had such a lack of faith in Jasper. I’m rather disappointed in you, actually. He’s been doing really well.” She stalked off to find him, leaving me in the room I so tried to escape.
__________________________ I nearly forgot how angsty the beginning was...anyway: Things you need to know about the story: -I must warn that this starts off quite innocent rating-wise, but when it earns its M rating, it will do so quickly. Language included. Think of it as Bella and Edward kind of growing up. Or me weaning you off of Meyer’s chaste stories. Heh. If some sexual scenes make you uncomfortable, it should be fairly easy to skip them. - I work to make my story true to the book, history and vampire-wise, but I will elaborate on some things. I will not blatantly change any character’s history. - That being said, the ‘normal’ non-succubus male vampires, like Edward, in my story cannot produce children with anyone. In fact, they don’t even release sperm or fluids during sex. If you’re wondering how that would work, think of it like how they can cry tearlessly. Ahem. Get it? I’d say “no offence to Renesme,” but that would be a lie. I don’t think she had a place in the books. Actually, I was so mad about Breaking Dawn that I decided to write this story. So, at least some good came from my distaste for it.
- You may worry about the future of Jacob when you read the above, but don’t fret. I have plans for him as well. (Plans that don’t make him a cradle robber. Yay.) My story is strictly Edward-Bella, but after a bit, it will be Jacob-friendly. He has more of a place in my story than I ever planned, but I’m quite content with that. He adds something important. - Angst is no stranger to my story. There will be drama, but nothing unrealistic. - I have big plans for this project. It will be a trilogy, and I already have bits and pieces written for the two sequels. I know how it will most likely end. But I’m not tellin’. - This first story (Breakable Bella) is fully written but it is my first fanfiction so I wanted to revise it since I’ve noticed improvements in my writing since I started it. I’ll post each part as I finish them. - These characters go through growth, so please stick with me if you feel like smacking a character or two. Also, each sequel will offer unique things. So I can’t guarantee that you’ll like the entire trilogy. I hope you’ll give each part a fair chance, though. -I don’t own Twilight or Edward. Damn.
Hmm...I think I’m done babbling. Let me know if you have any questions, and thanks for following my story.
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