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 TOPIC 9 : HELPING RELATIONSHIP

 Helping relationship as one in which one of the participants intends that
there should come about, in one or both parties more appreciation of,
more expression of, more functional use of the latent resources of the
individual.’ One of the parties has the intension of promoting the growth,
development, maturity, improved functioning, and improved coping with
life of the other.
Definition of Counselling
 Counseling denotes a profesional relationship between a trained counsellor
and a client. This relationship which may be developmental, crisis support,
psychotherapeutic, guiding or problem solving.....It is designed to help
clients to understand and clarify their views of their lifespace, and to learn
to reach their self-determined goals through meaningful informed choices
and through resolution of problems of an emotional or interpersonal
nature.
 PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS OF A HELPER
 Awareness of self and values
 Awareness of cultural experiences
 Ability to analyze the helper’s own feelings
 Ability to serve as model and influencer
 Altruism and compassion
 Strong sense of ethics
 Responsibility
 Ability to empower others.Awareness of self and values
 Awareness of cultural experiences
 Ability to analyze the helper’s own feelings
 Ability to serve as model and influencer
 Altruism and compassion
 Strong sense of ethics
 Responsibility
 Ability to empower others.
 Social Pressure

 which arises from one's beliefs about what other people expect or want
one to do - is the central concept in Lewin's field theory and Latane's social
impact theory. According to Latane, the amount of pressure experienced by
a target of social pressure increases as the number, strength, and
immediacy of the sources of that pressure increase, and it decreases as
the number of targets of that pressure increases.
 PSYCHOLOGICAL CHARACTERISTICS OF A COUNSELOR
ROGERS’S POINT OF VIEW
 Unconditional positive regards.

1.6.2 Genuineness

1.6.3 Empathy

 WHY IS HELPING EFFECTIVE IN ASSISTING OTHER PEOPLE TO
GROW
 Helpers perceived other people as able rather than unable to solve
their own problems, manage their lives, dependable, friendly and
worthy.
 Helpers identifies her/him with people rather than with things,
capable to cope with their own problems, more self-revelation rather
than self-concealing.
 Possess good attitude.
 Helpers are friendly, attractive and whose opinions are valued,
inspires
 confidence and trust.
 Mature, actualized, well-functioning and care deeply about
themselves.
 Healthy personality : compassionate, joyful, caring, possessing a
deep sense of community yet enjoying alone time also.
 HELPER’S PHYSICAL POSITION
 Face to face : easy to observe the client’s expression but in some culture it
is considered threatening and predicts an adversarial relationship, impolite
or disrespectful.
 Adding a desk may indicate business or it may suggest distance or
authority.
 Sitting at right angle to a desk often indicate a collaborative interaction.

 Sitting at right angle in more comfortable chair often indicates that a more
intimate conversation.
 PHYSICAL DISTANCE
 Physical distance between a helper and a client can shape and reflect their
interpersonal distance.
 Mutually acccepted distance should be established between a helper and
a client.
 SEATING ARRANGEMENT
 Client should take a lead to his/her preferred sitting arrangement and the
helper follows from there.
 ‘I simply offer my client a seat and take my lead from then’.
 TOUCH
 In some culture touching sporadically or regularly is considered a sign of
casual friendly contact.

In some culture it is considered disrespectful or may be perceived as
having sexual overtones.

 EYE-CONTACT
 Visual contact is considered a crucial element during an interaction and
professional help is no exception.
 Maintaining eye- contact can be viewed as a metaphor for maintaining an
emotional connection, indicating that one is present and accessible.
 Time spent in eye-contact is usually negotiated nonverbally and norms
vary.
 FACIAL EXPRESSION
 While tracking a client’s story, helper follows along and match the client
with not only their body posture, but their eyes, their gestures and even
their facial expression.
 When a client’s eye tell of their sadness, the helper’s eyes are sad too.
 PARALANGUAGE
 Voice volume, intonation, rete of speech and fluency of speech as well as
pauses and silence are a part of the paralanguage of nonverbal
communication.
 SILENCE

 Silence is more than the absence of speech or sound. It is also the
presence of a specific kind of listening skills.
 MINIMAL VERBAL RESPONSE
 Equivalent to head nod; miniscule utterances made by a person who wants
someone else to continue with her or his report. They include ‘ mm-hmm,
uh-huh, yeah, nah, oh…’
 TIME
 Perception about nature of time certainly influence the helping
relationship. Concept of time as an infinite, ongoing process that cannot
and should not be controlled by humans. When asked when sometihg will
be finished, the partner often respond ‘ when there is nothing left to do”.
 Second concept of time is related to the timing of the helper responses.
Prompt reactions may indicate attention and interest to clients’ statement,
whereas delayed reactions may indicate inattention to the clients’ report.
 The ‘gold standard’ for assessing timing, whether in verbal or nonverbal
communication, is still being in synchrony with the client.
 SILENCE
 Silence is more than the absence of speech or sound. It is also the
presence of a specific kind of listening skills.
 COUNSELING PROCESS
 STAGES IN COUNSELING PROCESS
 Stage 1 : relationship building

( membina hubungan )

 Stage 2: exploration (penerokaan )
 Stage 3 :consolidation

( membuat keputusan )

 Stage 4 : planning ( perancangan)
 Stage 5: termination ( penamatan )