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The priceI had to pay the price, when I thought that I had him

He brought along, thousand smiles, feelings I'd never imagine

But then he blew up, the one always with capricious sheaves,
Leaving behind the dying me, in lakes of broken leaves.
I thought I'd had it all, colors and shades of red,
But never in a thought I knew,
Red also killed when it bled.
Seemingly hopeless, I knew I would be,
Only if it'd obtrusive while long ago, I would never have to run in a flee.
Pulling, screaming, never thought I'd get here,
On the way though,
Kept absconding fear.
Detached, derailed, call it what you may,
Ossified I had become, a betray.
I knew I'd pay the price, when I thought I had him,
Resurgence didn't seem near,
I was drowning.
May not know, blurry bleeding,
But now when oblivion has taken it all,
Why am I still screaming?
The price, now I know, was never a silent brim,
It broke the insides, broke the record, broke all the shimmering glims.

If only you could stay tonight-

That cold agony in your eyes,

Mixed with your flirtatious smile,
Your favorite people always around,
You look seemingly sound.
And then you see, this blue girl beneath the scenes;
An eyebrow raised in question, smothering looks, so much they could kill.
I want you to stay, if only you could stay tonight,
Even when I know you're not the right kind of light.
You'll half smile and question,
Casting aspersions about the muffling tension,
Then, I'd know,
Pretty eyes, but are you just stooping low?
I want you to stay, if only you could stay tonight,
We'd light candles and burst balloons,
The kind of thing you'd like.
But I've to let this go, because I know, I know,
You're not the right kind of light,
And you'll just burn my soul tonight.
I need you to wait tonight, save me from drowning in this fright,
Oh, I know, I know,
You'll just throw my heart in burning candlelight.

Hopelessly drugged.
Is it just me, Am I the one who's wrong,

Or is it even you, are you also at fault.

Haywire ghosts, clouding up when I'm high,
You don't know,
You poison me till I die.
It's poison of people's desire,
Rather of wants rather than needs,
It's more than wishes, it's more than dreams,
You may also call it weed.
But then, on the darkest storms,
You show up, totally alarmed,
And then your smile, melts all of my walls,
It puts to sleep all of my downfalls.
I'd rather die of desire,
But is this too much too ask;
They say I'm digging an early grave,
I say I'm just at task.
My love for you, one day will consume,
All these welled tears, all these stoic ruins,
I'll be up, always high,
Maybe not with you by my side.
That day you'll know, addicted not too much,
Always afar, people never my part,
And you'll know,
That you were my poison, and you were breaking my heart!
That day you'll see, always put up,
Despite the terror, no emotional backup,
Always held strong, kept faith to my words,
Never broke down, even though it tore my heart apart.

If you'd only know

How much I love you,
Would you still go?
Would you still go?
All of this, sheds of pretence,

Tears, all my fears,

I hide them, for you, only for you.
Times when I'd rather run away,
Scream till everything faded,
I've stayed, I've waited.
But if you'd know, if you'd ever know,
How much I love you, would you still go?
Would you still go?
I've struggled on and on,
Your smiles, the sparkle in your eyes,
Given up on all my wishes, hopes flooded into the seas.
Begging myself not to push on, thrown brimly everything I ever felt,
Far away, a million tears sway.
If you'd only know, if you'd only know.
Black cloaks surrounding,
Smoked it up, shot it down.
Am I really the strongest of them all?
My broken heart, pieces of me, wounded, strayed,
Would you still go? Would you still go?
If only you'd know.
I've lost me, all bubbling in shades of blacks and grays,
Hung on to you always, I'd be your savior forever.
If only you'd know, if only you'd know,
How much I love you, standing here, setting my ashes to fire,
Would you still go? Would you still go?

IllusionThat's what it is,

All an illusion,
Never supported the truth, the dark confusion.
Only when I believed, I was laughed on hard by,

I realized, everything is a lie.

That's just how everything goes,
Is dark the absence of light?
Blown away by fantasies,
I'd say no, just a bundle of fright.
It's all that we assume, all that we believe,
We're all just crawling,
Sailing in gray seas.
Everything is just an illusion,
The illusion of life.
Who said truth exists?
Even truth is a lie.
It's all the darkness spreading out,
The black that lies deep inside.
Everything is just shades, shades of cries.
We're all murderers, passing by.
You said it will be all fine,
But who knew, I'm the one with the black coat,
And you're my beautiful lie.

BlackI saw that divine light,

Doomed with black and grays,
I saw it in your eyes,
I saw it in your ways.
Maybe black, no one trusts it,
Neither do I,

But how I cannot? How I cannot?

It is what defines the existence of my cry.
You've burnt me of my soul, you've burnt me of my wounds,
but that's what I'd done before,
It's karma running with brooms.
I'd never knew what I was, until I met you,
We're all monsters, all demons,
Dwelling in each other's rooms.
Kill how many hearts as we may, we both have the pain
The pain full of cuts and stitches,
The pain erasing our brains.
Only we know, only we know the shadows we hide,
But we see, what no one else does,
The divine light, of angels and arcs,
The white light of the gray eyed.

Dark unfair irrational?

I'm sorry, I despatched you,
In the dark, cold and blue,
You cried, held on,
Asked me, but I'd begone,
No sympathies, fearlessly merciless, the dark dawn.
Too tiny, naive of the evil,
You loved me despite the burning painful.

Knowing it would end, death was on the hill,

I let you wander, unaware of the devil.
I'm the murderer, and you're my victim,
But what if, the victim is me, of the dark unfair irrational?
The cloaks smogging up, covering the way,
Forgive me, it's me who's the sinner's of hay.
Each man kills the thing he loves,
The feelings were too strong,
Laying hereafter, crashing down,
Apologia is my only one.
Always be remembered, savior in the white,
Hiding through the grey snowlight.
Heartless, but you know I'd love,
Because you were the beauty to my burning ground.

Broken for lifeHe smiles, says that he'll be alright,

Laughs for a while, then strays astride,
Trusting him seems too much,
Bereaved, he dreams of love,
But never can I see, how easily,
How easily he's been breaking down.
Furtive, all his stories,
Tall tales of cries and glories,

Deep lying behind the curtains,

Intriguing eyes, the passway to his soul.
Seeing him cry, I break inside,
His smile, brings me alive,
Despite though, nothing together seems to thrive,
Nothing seems to make me his tonight.
Right or wrong, too fast to decide,
Concussions, fears, the story of his life.
Swallowing all of his pride, he pleads me to be on his side,
Bashful, the topaz lake of ambivalent light,
I know I'll be throttling his soul in the darkest of the bright.
Abashed, trying to take things in my stride,
I know it's time to decide,
Either it's him, or nearer to be me,
That someone's soul will be broken for life.
Passively placid, his beautiful eyes,
Glorious of truth, or puddles of lies.
Revengeful lips, a fragile soul, it's me who's the bender of the divine.