Why Harry Picked Ginny, Rather Than Hermione, As

A Romantic Partner
Introduction
Harry Potter has had the benefit of an excellent female friend since he was
eleven years old. Hermione Granger has given him moral support, excellent
advice, and loyalty. Her brains have saved him many times. Harry cares for
her a great deal and needs Hermione in his life. She has sworn to remain at
his side during his final quest to rid the world of Voldemort. She even
attempted to explain the mysterious ways of girls to him when he was
fifteen. Yet at sixteen, Harry picked Ginny Weasley to be his romantic
partner. Why was Ginny the One?
The explanation is very simple - Harry has a very strong sexual desire for
Ginny. He has no such feelings for Hermione.
Sex is a fundamental aspect of adult relations. Sex is, in fact, the
characteristic that defines the difference between a platonic relationship and
a romantic one.
This statement is not to suggest that sex is the most important element
when selecting a mate. It is, obviously, entirely possible to desire someone
with whom a relationship would be flawed otherwise. Relationships based
entirely on sexual appetite eventually die out - it is not enough. The keys to
a healthy, harmonious, long-term commitment have to do with sharing
similar and compatible value systems and forms of communication.
However, sex is also a key factor. A relationship where the sex does not work
is frustrating and less fulfilling. It can even lead to bitterness and
resentment. Sex is a very basic human need - it makes us feel good. We
take comfort from physical contact and it makes us happy. In an even more
practical sense, a married couple that does not enjoy each other physically is
going to have a very hard time with the more mundane aspects of sharing a
bathroom and a bed for sixty or more years.
The True Sign of Friendship
Harry is not sexually attracted to Hermione - he never has been. He does
acknowledge that she is pretty at the Yule Ball. Hermione even earns a full
paragraph describing everything from her hair to her dress to her teeth. 1
Later, in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry confirms, for the
record, that he does not find her ugly.2 However, these moments are not true

indicators of physical attraction - in neither instance does Harry have a

physiological response. Rowling makes the difference very clear when she
describes Harrys reaction to other girls.
When Harry meets Cho Chang, the moment is marked by his attraction to
her. Rowling writes, Harry couldnt help noticing, nervous as he was, that
she was extremely pretty. She smiled at Harry as the teams faced each
other behind their captains, and he felt a slight jolt in the region of his
stomach that he didnt think had anything to do with nerves. 3 This is the
first time Harry has noticed a girl in the romantic sense; the scene defines
how Harry will react when he has a physical response to someone. The
presence or lack of a similar physical response during future interactions
with female characters serves as an indicator of whether or not Harry is
physically attracted.
Harry does not have this reaction to Hermione. When she kisses him at the
end of their fourth year, Harry merely notes, ...she did something she had
never done before, and kissed him on the cheek. 4 There is no jolt in his
stomach or tingling hairs standing on end. Harry does not react to Hermione
in a sexual manner at all.
Even though he does respond to Cho, their relationship ultimately fails for a
number of reasons, including grief and guilt over Cedrics death. The
emotional dynamic between Harry and Cho is far too complicated. In the
end, when Harry gets to know her, Cho is not everything Harry desires. The
breakdown of their romance is also a fine example of the fact that sex is not
everything - though he was attracted to Cho, it was not enough.
Not Just a Pretty Face
So, for what is Harry searching?
It is not all about looks. Again, Harry does not find Hermione ugly and he
does not seem to find it shocking when other boys do express an interest in
her Viktor, Ron, or McLaggen. Hermiones appearance is not the reason
Harry is not attracted to her.
Harry derives pleasure from humour.
This aspect of his personality should not be a shock. Since the moment we
met him, Harry has used his own sense of humour as his key survival
mechanism. When describing Harrys spoiled rotten cousin Dudley, Rowling
writes, He had a large, pink face, not much neck, small watery blue eyes

and thick, blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt Petunia
often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel - Harry often said that
Dudley looked like a pig in a wig. 5 Later, as Harry lay, freezing and hungry,
on the hard floor of the cabin on the rock at sea, it is noted, Harry heard
something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasnt going to fall in, although
he might be warmer if it did. 6 Harry uses his dark sense of humour as a
defense to help him emotionally survive his own miserable circumstances.
Harry acknowledges his desire for humour as one of his most basic needs
after the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Facing the return of Voldemort, on the
verge of war, he gives his winnings to the twins to use as start up for their
joke shop. He offers the explanation, [...] I could do with a few laughs. We
could all do with a few laughs. Ive got a feeling were going to need them
more than usual before long. 7 Harry turns to humour as his main desire, for
which he would pay a thousand galleons, in order to find some pleasure in
the face of the coming darkness.
Soon after these events, Rowling specifically makes the connection between
Harrys humour and romance during his relationship with Cho. After kissing
Cho, and faced with the prospect of asking her out, Harry considers, Yes, he
had liked Cho for ages, but whenever he had imagined a scene involving the
two of them it had always featured a Cho who was enjoying herself, as
opposed to a Cho who was sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder. 8 It is an
understandable expectation - to have a partner who enjoys herself in his
presence, but the sentiment gets to the heart of Harrys biggest
disappointment in the matter. When he finally gets to be with Cho, they
never have any fun.
The lack of fun is one of the main causes of the break down of Harry and
Chos romance. Ron reinforces this idea later. Learning that the relationship
has been abandoned, Ron responds, Youre well out of it, mate... I mean,
shes quite good-looking and all that, buy you want someone a bit more
cheerful. 9 Cho is still grieving for Cedric, and she wanted someone with
whom she could commiserate. Harry needs a witch, no matter how goodlooking, with whom he can laugh.
Rowling has now established that humour will be a key desired trait in any
future romantic pairing for Harry. He simply does not find Hermione to be
that funny. This fact is explicitly stated during his falling out with Ron in
fourth year. When Hermione accuses him of missing Ron, Harry denies it, but
admits to himself that while he ... liked Hermione very much, she just
wasnt the same as Ron. There was much less laughter and a lot more
hanging around in the library when Hermione was your best friend. 10

Hermione gives Harry many things, but she cannot fulfill his desire for
humour.
Harry does not find his best female friend to be a source for much comedy,
and in the end, he never entertains romantic feelings for her. The context of
their relationship being non-sexual, the door is opened for another girl to
come in and fill that role. During his sixth year, Harry discovers that he finds
Ginny to be a source of constant hilarity.
When he is sixteen, Harry develops feelings for Ginny, but it is not her
physical attributes that he spends the bulk of his time thinking about; rather,
it is her humour. It is notable that though this is the book in which Harry and
Ginny will start a romance, her first appearance is free of any flattering
description. Instead, Harry simply notes, Rons younger sister slouched into
the room, looking irritable. 11
This entrance brings into stark contrast the description given to Fleur only a
few paragraphs down the page. Fleur is described as, A woman of such
breathtaking beauty that the room seemed to have become strangely
airless. She was tall and willowy with long blonde hair and appeared to
emanate a faint, silvery glow. To complete this vision of perfection, she was
carrying a heavily laden breakfast tray. 12 Despite the fact that Harry
manages to inject humour into the part-Veelas arrival, Fleur has never been
purposely funny; while Harry finds her attractive, he has never been sexually
interested in her.
The Girl in Question
What makes Ginny stand out to Harry is her sense of humour.
The fact that Harry appreciates Ginnys antics in the sixth book does have
precedence in the rest of the series. Rowling gave examples in the past to
show that their senses of humour matched. As early as the third book,
despite still being largely unable to speak in front of him, Ginny and Harry
share a moment. At the train station, Ginny caught Harrys eye and they
both turned away to hide their laughter as Percy strode over to a girl with
long, curly hair, walking with his chest thrown out so that she couldnt miss
his shiny badge. 13
When they run into Gilderoy Lockhart on the Closed Ward at St. Mungos two
years later and he immediately offers them autographs, Harry shares a
private joke with Ginny. The quiet exchange is described, Hasnt changed
much, has he? Harry muttered to Ginny, who grinned. 14 Again, at the end

of the book, when Hermione struggles to swallow her natural inclination to

argue with Luna over the existence of Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, Ginny
caught Harrys eye and looked away quickly, grinning. 15 Rowling has firmly
established that despite the fact they do not spend much time together,
Ginny and Harry tend to find the same moments funny - and for the same
reasons.
The foundation established - that Harry and Ginny both enjoy the same
dark, dry humour - groundwork is laid for Ginny to catch Harrys attention
fully once he has the chance to spend more time with her.
Ginnys wit is a trait that Harry immediately notices and enjoys during his
stay at the Burrow the summer before his sixth year. Ginny does not like
Fleur very much, and she uses this disdain to make a rather dramatic exit
after her first scene with Harry. She swung her long red hair around in a
very good imitation of Fleur and pranced across the room with her arms held
aloft like a ballerina. 16 Already, Harry appreciates Ginnys wit as being
deadly accurate. Later, after Fleur demonstrates her adoration of Bill, Ginny
mimed vomiting into her cereal behind Fleur. Harry choked over his
cornflakes and Ron thumped him on the back. 17 Rons younger sister has
turned out to be very funny indeed.
Harry continues to revel in Ginnys humour throughout the rest of the book.
During an early Quidditch practise, they have an exchange that could have
been tense. Ginny calls Ron a prat and Harry feels she has overstepped her
bounds. Harry corrects her, And Ginny, dont call Ron a prat, youre not the
captain of this team - Well, you seemed to busy to call him a prat and I
thought someone should - Harry forced himself not to laugh. 18 Ginny
makes Harry laugh even when he worries it might not be entirely proper. The
examples are numerous - the one constant in his scenes with Ginny is she
usually does something to amuse him.
The one instance that stands out the most, however, occurs after they have
come together as a couple. Sitting together in the common room, they have
the following conversation.
Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me
if its true youve got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest.
What did you tell her?
I told her its a Hungarian Horntail, said Ginny, turning a page of
newspaper idly.

Much more macho.

Thanks, said Harry, grinning. And what did you tell her Rons got?
A Pygmy Puff, but I didnt say where. 19
Ginny is being her usual witty self, but there is one key difference - Harry is
feeding her the lines to set up her final joke. Not only are they funny
individually, but their sense of humour is the same; and they play together
extremely well. Of course, Harry has found other people in his life to be
extremely funny, notably Ron and the twins. It is not humour alone that
does the trick; it must be admitted that it does help that Ginny is an
attractive girl.
Harry finds Ginny to be more than satisfactory to his male gaze. During one
of the later Quidditch practises Ginny puts on quite a show, doing imitations
of both Harry and Ron. Harry, laughing with the others, was glad to have an
innocent reason to look at Ginny; he had received several more Bludger
injuries during practise because he had not been keeping his eyes on the
Snitch. 20 Harry enjoys looking at Ginny very much, to the point of
distracting himself from his favourite game and even risking personal injury.
Harry always found Ginny to be physically appealing. As early as twelve
years old he remarks on her bright brown eyes 21 and flaming red hair. 22
Even amidst tragedy, Harry has thought of Ginny in very attractive terms.
During Harrys fifth year, Arthur Weasley is attacked and Harry spends the
night with the Weasley siblings and Sirius. Rowling describes each of the
other people in the room and notes that, Ginny was curled like a cat on her
chair, but her eyes were open; Harry could see them reflecting the firelight.
23
It is a lovely, even romantic image, and while Harry may not be sexually
attracted to her yet, he does find Ginny to be quite pleasant to look at.
Harry seems quite distracted with Ginnys hair - it earns numerous mentions
throughout the series. The fact that he finds it one of her most attractive
assets is confirmed when he mentions it again in his sixth year - the year he
discovers his sexual feelings for her. Early in the book Harry is disappointed
when she leaves him alone on the train and he notes, He felt a strange
twinge of annoyance as she walked away, her long red hair dancing behind
her. 24 Again, even in battle, she stands out. When Harry is chasing after
Snape he does not stop for two bodies on the floor, but Harry now saw red
hair flying like flames in front of him, 25 and he pauses long enough to assist
his girlfriend.

Ginny is, and always has been, a pretty girl, but it is her humour that wins
Harry over in the end. As Cho and Fleur amply demonstrated, being beautiful
is not enough; it is the potent combination of the two traits that pushes
Ginny into Harrys romantic favour.
The fact that it takes both humour and looks to win his interest also explains
why it took so long for Harry to notice Ginny sexually. It is not until the fifth
book that Ginny starts to become comfortable enough around him to be able
to display her true personality - and Harry starts to notice her more. In
addition, it is not until the summer before Harrys sixth year that he actually
spends enough time in her presence to uncover finally the wonderful
attribute that really gets him going. Ginny is the girl that causes Harry to
have a response similar to the one he had upon meeting Cho. Ginny merely
pats him on the arm, and Harry felt a swooping sensation in his stomach...
26
She picks a maggot from his hair and Harry felt goosebumps erupt up his
neck that had nothing to do with the maggot. 27 These are the signs Rowling
hinted at before as denoting the difference between normal contact and
actual physical attraction.
The Monster Unleashed
This time around, Harrys level of sexual interest is even stronger, causing
him to give it a physical description and personality in the monster that
lives inside him. Harry does not become consciously aware of his desire for
Ginny until he spots her kissing Dean, and the monster is born. Rowling
describes, It was though something large and scaly erupted into life in
Harrys stomach, clawing at his insides [...]. 28 The creature makes several
notable appearances, culminating in its roaring in triumph 29 after Harry
finally kisses Ginny and earns Rons silent consent.
The monster also represents Harrys jealousy. During the scene with Dean, it
is noted that, [...] hot blood seemed to flood his brain, so that all thought
was extinguished, replaced by a savage urge to jinx Dean into a jelly.
Shortly after, [...] the new-born monster inside him was roaring for Deans
instant dismissal from the team. 30 The creature inside Harry seems quite
eager to be rid of the competition.
Nevertheless, it is not jealousy alone; the monster is also a manifestation of
Harrys desire. When Harry imagines himself kissing Ginny, [...] the
monster in his chest purred... 31 Much later, when Hermione brings news
that Ginny and Dean had a fight, and Harry hopes it may mean the
relationship is over. The drowsing creature in Harrys chest suddenly raised

its head, sniffing the air hopefully. 32 The monster is a fully realized
metaphor for Harrys most basic animal instincts.
Harrys desire for Ginny is very strong; the time he has with her is described
as [] something that was making him happier than he could remember
being for a very long time, 33 and later as, ...his best source of comfort. 34
Harry and Ginnys mutual physical attraction is doing what it is supposed to
do - it makes him feel good. It gives Harry a well-earned period of joy.
Other Ingredients Required
It is clear that they want each other, but will the couple last? Further to their
sexual attraction, Harry and Ginny also have the other elements necessary
for a long-term relationship - a shared value system and a working method
of communication.
When he is eleven years old, Harry discovers the Mirror of Erised, and it
reveals one of his greatest desires is family. Dumbledore explains how the
mirror works stating, It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest,
most desperate desire of our hearts. You, who have never known your
family, see them standing around you. 35 Harry has never known what it is
like to have a family - and it is something he longs for desperately.
Ginny, with six siblings and parents who love Harry as one of their own has
family to spare. More than that, she also demonstrates that family is
extremely important to her with her reaction to Percys betrayal. When the
twins and Ron tell Harry of Percys defection, specifically the things he said
to their father, [] Ginny made a noise like an angry cat. 36 The following
year, when Percy uses his relationship with his family to give the Minister
access to Harry, Ginny fights for credit with the twins for hitting him in the
face with mashed parsnip.37 Ginnys familial loyalty is very strong. One can
assume that family will remain one of Ginnys priorities in the future.
Ginny also shares Harrys views on the necessity of destroying Voldemort
and bringing an end to the hate and chaos he and his followers breed in the
Wizarding World. Like Harry, she wants to be included in Order business though her mother denies her.38 She is an active participant in Dumbledores
Army. However, it is Ginnys statement to Harry, when he ends the
relationship with her to continue his quest, which makes her opinion most
clearly. She tells him, I knew you wouldnt be happy unless you were
hunting Voldemort. Maybe thats why I like you so much. 39 Ginny and Harry
have a shared view of the world - and peace is a priority.

Like their mutual value system, Harry and Ginny also share an effective
means of communication. This facet of their relationship is hinted at in
Harrys fifth year when Ginny brought him an Easter egg, and he revealed
his pent up desire to speak to Sirius.40
Their level of understanding is demonstrated even more strongly, however,
after Dumbledore dies. The moment is described:
He did not want to leave Dumbledores side, he did not want to move
anywhere. Hagrids hand on his shoulder was trembling. Then another
voice said, Harry, come on. A much smaller and warmer hand had
enclosed his and was pulling him upwards. He obeyed its pressure
without really thinking about it.41
When Harry is in crisis mode, Ginny is the one who gets through.
Even more importantly, Harry and Ginny are honest with each other. Harry
decides that in order to complete his quest to destroy Voldemort, he must
end his relationship with Ginny. Harry confesses, Its been like ... like
something out of someone elses life, these last few weeks with you ... But I
cant ... we cant ... Ive got things to do alone now. 42 Rather than lying to
her, or pushing her away without explanation, he quite plainly tells her what
his reasons are and precisely how important she is to him.
Ginny, in return, makes a confession of her own. She responds by telling
Harry, I never really gave up on you ... Not really. I always hoped [] 43
Harry is breaking up with her. She could have responded in anger, or
attempted to protect herself. Instead, she accepts his decision and reveals
that she has cared for him all along.
Even before he gives her the news, Harry intuitively knows it is going to be
all right. Just before he tells Ginny of his decision, Rowling explains that
Harry [...] knew that at that moment they understood each other perfectly,
and that when he told her what he was going to do now, she would not say
Be careful, or Dont do it, but accept his decision, because she would not
have expected anything less of him. 44 Because they share the same values
and have come to know each other so well, Harry can anticipate Ginnys
reaction in advance - and has the confidence to communicate with her
honestly, even though what he has to say will hurt them both. Harry and
Ginny have an intense sexual attraction - based, in a large part, on a shared
sense of humour. They have a similar value system and communicate
extremely effectively. These are all keys to forming a healthy long-term
relationship.

The Perils of Love- Enter the Dark Side

Are there any possible concerns?
There could be some worry over the fact that at times Ginnys humour can
be biting, even a little mean. She refers to Fleur as Phlegm behind her
back, bringing about the somewhat gross exchange, I wouldnt go in the
kitchen just now, she warned him. Theres a lot of Phlegm around. Ill be
careful not to slip in it, smiled Harry. 45
A few months later, Ron and Harry catch her kissing Dean; Ron comes
dangerously close to calling her a slut. Ginny lays into him; she is merciless,
ripping into Ron about his own lack of experience. She accuses him, Been
kissing Pigwidgeon, have you? Or have you got a picture of Aunt Muriel
stashed under your pillow? 46 It is very clear that Ginny is more than willing
to use humour as a deadly part of her arsenal when she is angry.
It should be noted, however, that this aspect of Ginnys personality is
actually very similar to Harrys own behaviour. Harry has always used his
sense of humour against those with whom he is angry with or does not like.
The most obvious example is Dudley. In the first book, before Harry learns
of Hogwarts, Dudley teases him about the local comprehensive. They stuff
peoples heads down the toilet first day at Stonewall, he told Harry. Want
to come upstairs to practise? No thanks, said Harry. The poor toilets never
had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick. 47 A few
years later, when Dudley claims he had the right to beat up a ten-year-old
because he cheeked Dudley, Harry replies, Yeah? Did he say you look like a
pig thats been taught to walk on its hind legs? Cause thats not cheek, Dud,
thats true. 48 Unable to use magic during the summer, Harry easily resorts
to his oldest survival mechanism to deal with the enormous bully Dudley.
In fact, Harrys reliance on humour has become so instinctive by the sixth
book, he does not even think before he uses it. During his first Defense
Against the Dark Arts lesson, Harry and Snape have the following exchange:
Do you remember me telling you we are practising non-verbal spells,
Potter?
Yes, said Harry stiffly.
Yes sir.

Theres no need to call me sir, Professor.

The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying. Several
people gasped, including Hermione. Behind Snape, however, Ron, Dean,
and Seamus grinned appreciatively.49
When angered, Harry turns to the device that has served him so well all his
life, even when it is not necessarily in his best interests and earns him
detention. Harry is not shy about using his wit in fights with his closest
friends. When Harrys name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, he and Ron stop
speaking for a time, largely due to Rons jealousy. One night they have a
fight; Harry throws a Potter Really Stinks badge at Rons head and
sarcastically quips, There you go. ... Something for you to wear on Tuesday.
You might even have a scar now, if youre lucky. [...] Thats what you want,
isnt it? 50 Rons insecurity about his place in the world has caught up with
him. Ron is angry because he worries he is only the sidekick, never having
any attention for himself. Recognition is something for which Ron yearns.
Harry knows this; Hermione has tried to explain it to him. However, he is not
afraid to use biting sarcasm to throw that insecurity back in Rons face when
Harry becomes angry.
The way Harry and Ginny both use their humour as a weapon make them
evenly matched. They both have the same dark, dry wit and are not afraid
to use it when it suits them. Ginnys possible fault in no way makes her
unworthy of Harry; it is a behaviour pattern they share.
It is likely they could turn this weapon on each other; every couple fights
eventually. It may work out, however, that they would be less hurt by a
defense mechanism they both use and understand. In addition, their rather
mature emotional honesty to date indicates they would survive any
squabbles fairly well.
Once More, With Feeling
Harry did not end the relationship with Ginny because he did not want to be
with her any more. Quite the contrary, he still longs to be with her, so much
so he ...did not think his resolution would hold if he remained sitting beside
her. 51 One of Harrys primary desires is for humour. Ginny meets that need
perfectly and as a result, they share a very strong sexual attraction. As a
couple, they also have a similar value system, and honest and open
communication. As a result, if Harry and Ginny both survive the war with
Voldemort, they seem to have a very good chance of sharing a healthy,
happy, long-term romantic relationship.

Where does that leave Hermione Granger? While Harry longs for humour,
Hermione has demonstrated that she has a very passionate desire for
debate. Perhaps this source of pleasure explains why she has chosen Ron
Weasley as her sparring partner.