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Good strategies and excellent ideas are nothing

without initiative.
We are all capable of coming up with some
good ideas but what separates us from most
those successful people we constantly admire
is they walk the talk while most of us just talk
the talk.
We need to move a step further in our thinking
and actually put into practice and test what we
think is ideal. Don't get me wrong, I'm not
saying all ideas should be put to test but if we
dont test our ability we will never know if our
ideas where good enough or not.
All we need is a step forward towards realising
the practicality of our motives, that is providing
the impetus to move a step forward, call it
'guts' if want.
Have you ever noticed in board room meetings,
church meetings, of any formal meeting that
they are some people who are very good at
coming up with ideas. The type that everyone
becomes confident of and in their absence, the
general feeling is that "we could have come up
with something substantial if he was here".
These people are seen as assets, some call
them 'pistons' of the company. However, in
contrast to them, there those silent participants
in a meeting who prefer to keep their creativity
to themselves but are very good at making
things happen. The point I'm trying to put
across is that, excellent thinkers are nothing
without initiative. You can be good at
formulating ideas and not in making them
Extraordinary people change the world and any
ordinary individual has the capability to
transform his reality only if he or she can put
his ideas to the test, improve them, one way or
the other they become perfect.
The problem is that we think some people
should do the thinking for us as we follow the
lead and become the test subjects. Why not
make our own ideas, initiate our own paths to
stardom and achieve that in our own manner.
Those ideas buried in our minds will remain a
dream, a fantasy if we do not live them.
Instead of waiting for opportunities to open up,
our ideas could be the right kind of
opportunities we need to make a change. Here
is a classical example of what I mean of a man

who walked the talk since his early teens

named Gurbaksh Chahal an American
"The story of the young self made millionaire
Gurbaksh Chahal is an example of how to
achieve success in life. Not only from the
material point of view, but with an amazing
attachment to family values. He started his
business life by doing what thousands of
people do these days to make a living online.
He went to the free market and got some
refurbished printers for $50 and sold them on
eBay for $200. This action opened his eyes into
what else he could do to make money online.
With a young internet (about 3 years old at the
moment) the possibilities where limitless for
those with the vision and willingness to take
risks. Of course, as everyone knows, the dot
com failures were a very sounded topic and still
are taken as "what not to do" cases, however
those who managed to be successful are now
the owners of an amazing wealth. That is the
case of Gurbaksh Chahal.
What "G", as he likes to be called, spotted, was
the same thing that is always hot for any
business: Advertising. In his case, online
advertising Chahal, created, a
company that would eventually be sold for the
amazing number of $40 million dollars when "G"
was only 18 years old, to a company, called This company
(, worked on the idea of
charging advertisers only once a potential
customer clicked on their advert. This way, the
advertiser could feel in real time what the
advertising effort was doing for the company."
He was once among the youngest, wealthiest
people in the world. Sitting back and relaxing
will only make you complacent docile and
incapable. Remember what they say about idle
minds and the devil, it's inevitable that you will
make yourself his workshop.
Lets think hard about what pulls us back most
of the times we want to make that initiative.
Just like beating your fears, we need to face
our draw backs, evaluate why we coward to
make those ideas to life. Only then can we
make a step forward. Some people say some
ideas are like racing blindfolded, more like
leaping in the dark.

They fail to understand that as humans we

adapt to situations, w ne who wish to make it
in life should imitate in order to shift fromthe
ordinary to the extraordinary.
Determination, dedication and devotion should
be our guide. These three d(s) should equip us
in our endeavour to achieve big. Once we are
determined to reach our goals we become
dedicated to our work and in the long run
become devoted. By so doing we embrace
ourselves with the will to achieve those ideas
and dreams hidden within us.
We all have the potential to rise and make a
change but we lack an initiative and the three
d(s). Some might argue that they fail to make
an initiative because they do not have a
means. In as much as this is true, at the same
time it's an escape goat. We should be
innovative if we are driven by that
determination to achieve .They say where
there is a will there is always a way. We might
be excellent thinkers but cowards; hence all
our ideas become nothing but just another
dream to tell.
Posted 15th June 2011 by Simbarashe Ashley
JUN Ordinary people don't change the
world, extraordinary people do.
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By Simbarashe Nyambara
OUR society has gone through many changes
from politics to the social stance of men and
women. The battle of authority between men
and women has threatened the male's position
as a dominant specie in the animal kingdom.
The question now being posed is: Are
patriarchal societies gradually shifting to a
matriarchal position -a situation seen by the
dominance of the womankind in all dimensions
of life?
Some have sternly refuted this as an empty
threat, a dream and a fallacy contesting with
those that believed that this kind of
metamorphosis is real and failure by the male
sex to appreciate this is nothing but pride.

In this subject the controversy emanates from

the rampant looming of feminist groups
advocating for equality and ability by some
women to perform the same duties as their
male counterparts. While this is an appreciated
move of self-emancipation it has generated
mixed feelings among men hence the need to
discuss the societal status on the matter.
"It's not just happening in Africa. You're getting
the tail end of a social change and eradication
of patriarch that has been happening for the
last two hundred years on a gradual basis. The
metamorphosis you refer to is not sudden
change it has been happening under our noises
for the past two hundred years and we as
males have been ignoring it because we felt
our position was so secure. It is not and never
will be because females feel themselves
enslaved and are obstinately emphatic on the
said Perry Baxter, a researcher, and graduate
from a sociology class.
In as much as his opinion revealed an element
of truth especially considering Africa as a third
world continent, the respondent seems to have
a drift on the subject that contains cues of
hesitation. This came as an indication that
somewhere in his pattern of understanding the
issue there is undeniable belief, glimmer that
the male dominance is facing possible
extermination. However, this sounded more like
undermining the male dominance. Upon
responding to this view Perry was keen to
defend his stance saying that it is because of
this pride that deters men's understanding and
lose sight of the current impact of the female
social movement.
"That is the reason why women are taking
over", he said.
Women need recognition in society, be it
patriarchal or matriarchal. They need not be
taken as the inferior sex and deserve to be
treated as equals. However, in many African
countries where societies are patriarchal in
nature, this change comes as a threat to the
male command and authority. To what extent is
this true still remains debatable as one Zivai
Mathe, a student studying journalism, had a
different taste to the subject.
"Matriarchism and patriarchism, these are

functions of agreement in a given society.

Some cultures/societies have since time
memorial been matriarchal in nature for
instance some Congolese tribes. Even in the
animal Kingdom, consider elephants.
Patriarchism filters down to the last detail in a
society: the surnames, decision making process
etc. So to say our culture is drifting into one
will be probably overstating the facts. Yes
women are gaining influence in the state of
affairs but we do still have good number of
hardliners opposed to them. To say ''neomatriarchal'' will be probably too radical but it
seems closer to the point, rather I think it's the
equivalent of the ''black consciousness
movement''-''women's consciousness
movement''. They want recognition and not
really taking over the society."
The respondent's dimension of establishing a
parallel between the women's movement and
black consciousness taking into account that
both are seeking recognition is somewhat valid
but rather subjective. The need for black
consciousness is by many as by-far more
significant when put on the scale with women's
movement strive. However to call the situation
a drift to a "neo-matriarchal" stance could
sound radical but rather convincing enough.
Women are clinging to positions of power and
influence. They are now taking upon similar
tasks as men and in some instances performing
even better. It would be unjust for the average
male to dispute this fact as false. However, it
is also true at the same time that though our
society is gradually facing some changes in as
far as male and female dominance is
concerned, men still evidently attain the most
influential of decisions.
Above to say that society is undergoing a
metamorphosis of this nature is far-fetched.
However, we are experiencing a gradual social
change (neo-matriachism) where women are
appreciated and recognised for what they are
worth by means of being utilised to build the
nation and beyond.
Posted 15th May 2011 by Simbarashe Ashley
MAY Paradigm Shift From Patriarchal
to Matriarchal Dominance, Fact or

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By Simbarashe nyambara
Hospitalisation of a relative or family member
becomes a stressful experience especially on
the finance. Depending on the severity of the
condition, next of kins are usually faced with
some of the most difficult decisions to make.
Euthanasia (mercy killing) is seen by many as
an act that devalues human life and some
people considers this as the best way in cases
of extreme morbidity.
They are circumstances surrounding the act
and many respondents who managed to air
their views on the matters refuted any
justification of the act. Life is a gift and each
individual is entitled to this gift to life.
Sandra Gama a student from the National
University of Science and Technology(NUST)
had this to say,
"Personally I think we should leave it to God to
decide when someone should die. Who are we
to judge that someone has had too much pain?
How do you live with yourself after deciding a
loved one should die?"
The legality of euthanasia is highly
questionable and debatable. The dilemma that
comes with the matter strains family members
and those taking care of the bedridden loved
one. Considering euthanasia as a way to
escape the burden is said to be unrealistic.
However, below are contested reasons behind
euthanasia by experts in the field of medicine
and health,
"Unbearable pain as the reason for euthanasia.
Probably the major argument in favor of
euthanasia is that the person involved is in
great pain. Today, advances are constantly
being made in the treatment of pain and, as
they advance, the case for euthanasia/assistedsuicide is proportionally weakened. Euthanasia
advocates stress the cases of unbearable pain
as reasons for euthanasia, but then they soon
include a "drugged" state. I guess that is in
case virtually no uncontrolled pain cases can
be found - then they can say those people are
drugged into a no-pain state but they need to
be euthanatised from such a state because it is
not dignified Nearly all pain can be eliminated
and - in those rare cases where it can't be

eliminated - it can still be reduced significantly

if proper treatment is provided. It is a national
and international scandal that so many people
do not get adequate pain control. But killing is
not the answer to that scandal. The solution is
to mandate better education of health care
professionals on these crucial issues, to expand
access to health care, and to inform patients
about their rights as consumers. Everyone,
whether it be a person with a life-threatening
illness or a chronic condition has the right to
pain relief. With modern advances in pain
control, no patient should ever be in
excruciating pain. However, most doctors have
never had a course in pain management so
they're unaware of what to do. If a patient who
is under a doctor's care is in excruciating pain,
there's definitely a need to find a different
doctor. But that doctor should be one who will
control the pain, not one who will kill the
patient. There are board certified specialists in
pain management who will not only help
alleviate physical pain but are skilled in
providing necessary support to deal with
emotional suffering and depression that often
accompanies physical pain.
2. Demanding a "right to commit suicide"
Probably the second most common point proeuthanasia people bring up is this so-called
"right." But what we are talking about is not
giving a right to the person who is killed, but to
the person who does the killing. In other words,
euthanasia is not about the right to die. It's
about the right to kill. Euthanasia is not about
giving rights to the person who dies but,
instead, is about changing the law and public
policy so that doctors, relatives and others can
directly and intentionally end another person's
life. People do have the power to commit
suicide. Suicide and attempted suicide are not
criminalised. Suicide is a tragic, individual act.
Euthanasia is not about a private act. It's about
letting one person facilitate the death of
another. That is a matter of very public
concern since it can lead to tremendous abuse,
exploitation and erosion of care for the most
vulnerable people among us."
Euthanasia is a murder and any justification
behind it is irrational and illogical. They are
available options besides 'mercy killings'. As a

matter of fact there is no such thing as 'mercy'

in the act of taking someone's life and
justifications laid before the act actually justify
murder. It is beyond doubt that reasons put
across to support euthanasia are heartless and
insensitive. Many who are pro-euthanasia don't
realise that euthanasia can be used by one's
enemies get even. We live in different social
spheres, situations and come from diverse
social backgrounds where hate and spite
reside. It is easier to take advantage of one
who is bedridden for malicious reasons.
However, regardless of the apparent evil of the
practice, Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg,
Oregon and Washington are some of the places
where euthanasia is practiced.
"Euthanasia is a grave violation of the law of
God, since it is the deliberate and morally
unacceptable killing of a human person"-Pope
John Paul II.
Posted 10th May 2011 by Simbarashe Ashley
MAY Euthanasia is 'sublime' gruesome
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By Simbarashe Nyambara
Almost everyone has trust issues. This stems
from that instinctive side of us that keeps
telling us to safeguard our emotions and
feelings from the later pain. However, it is also
in our nature to dependent on someone, have
faith and believe hence as humans we are
forced to go against our intuition and lay all
our trust in something hence making ourselves
vulnerable to both emotional and psychological
torment thus we suffer from stress, depression
and in severe cases trust issues may send
someone to an early grave. This then makes
the issue of trust somewhat complicated and
deceitful. How many times has mankind said
they trust yet deep inside they know they
don't? On this subject, many believe that trust
incorporates aspects like fidelity, reliance,
faithfulness loyalty and most importantly love
among other things. Some believe that genuine
trust exist while others say trust is a term of
"Its comparative isn't it. Especially in our
organic solidarity orientated society. Trust is

only dangerous if you have to rely on it but

then you shouldn't anyway. There are degrees
of trust. There are certain things you would
trust a person with like your life and others that
you wouldn't dream of letting them into. But as
a rule I tend not to trust anyone. But that rule
tends to be broken at times. I think that's true
of everyone else. No one wants to trust and
tries not to but in this world and with our need
for companionship and relationships we can't
avoid letting people into places that should be
kept for us" remarked one Perry Baxter a
novelist and profound social commentator.
I conceded with the respondent on the bit that
they are degrees of trust. However, it is highly
subjective as to how people manage these
degrees of trust. What is important to note is
that people learn to trust as time goes by.
Even though they might have set limits and
boundaries on trust, more often than never they
tend to be broken just like Perry highlighted. On
the same note some believe that trust in itself
is just a symptom of weakness embedded
within the human psyche. They say trust is a
sign of immense mental dependence for
individuals who fail to stand their own ground,
depend and believe only in themselves.
Melisa Kawodzwa a student, believes that trust
fades and trust is earned when she said,
"Some may say that trust fades away but as
for me, it's still there its just that there are all
lies people can't just admit that they don't trust
you so they end up lying."
In order words, people tend to use lying trust
as a shield and protect themselves and their
lies. One would then wonder why then people
would people fake the obvious, another school
of thought take into account the fact that they
are more benefits in being up-straight with
those you don't trust, as you will both be on the
same ground thus being in a better position
towards earning the ultimate trust. It's clear
that people manipulate each other on the
pretext of trust in all dimensions like
relationships, business and politics.
"If you ever want to be disappointed in life, put
your trust in someone. It might remain intact
when you are in good books but when you
cross each others path it's gone. Trust exists in
people with character, those who can be

leaders, and they are very rare to find. So if

you want to sow and cultivate your own
disappoint, well it's your choice to put your
trust in people. What is really yours, it's a good
idea to keep it to yourself and what you think
you don't mind if it's let out even if you might
not want it that way, share with someone close
to you but when it surfaces be ready to accept
it. Such is life embrace it," said John
Tamanikwa when he aired his opinion on the
While other respondents believed that this was
a rather a romantic approach to the subject, it
still echoed sounding reason and logic,
regardless of its doubtful practicality. The only
way one can be able to trust the next person is
to first of all trust oneself from within. Trust is
pure and as long as you render your trust in
someone you are giving them authority over
your emotions and faith. Regardless of the
degree to which you might trust the other
person, the process is rather gradual and the
results are inevitable if that person betrays
your trust. Trusting someone is a risk and we
all need to leave room for disappointment when
we have invested this trust in someone. One of
my favorite saying goes,
"Trust is like a mirror. Once it's broken you can
never look at it the same again..."
Posted 27th April 2011 by Simbarashe Ashley
APR "Trust is Like a mirror. Once It's
Broken You Can Never Look At It
The Same Again. . ."
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By Simbarashe Nyambara
In as much as alcohol is associated with some
of the most evil deeds, people still enjoy a
binge time and again. The problem with this
subject is that many people would align their
stance on alcohol intake with their religion,
hence making it highly controversial and
difficult to dispute. I have since discovered that
there is a wide misconception about alcohol
especially among Christians.
Many Christians believe that alcohol is a sin
hence preachers condemn alcohol consumption
as worldly. I have noted that the many
Christians would prefer to stick to the biblical

norm that our bodies are holy temples therefore

should be exposed to the filth of this world.
This is virtually true to a larger extent;
however, the unfortunate part is that many who
believe in this scripture tend to label alcohol as
a heathen practice. This is the kind of
misconception that I am going to address in
today's subject.
The whole purpose is to try and strike a
balance between the misconception about
alcohol especially the biblical position and the
social perspective. For starters, it is illegal for
a licensed liquor store, be it a bar, club or an
outlet to sell liquor to minors. Using this as an
example one can deduce that indeed if liquor is
not for minors' consumption then the social
perceptive would be that alcohol is indeed
harmful. On the same note it is also logical to
highlight that this social perspective concedes
with the biblical notion that our bodies are
sacred and holy hence the need to be
maintained as such.
However, the bible does not entirely condemn
the consumption of alcohol. It rather puts
limitations on the levels of alcohol
consumption. This is because it takes
cognisance of the effects of alcohol than the
mere consumption of it. Theologians have gone
the extra mile in articulating the biblical stance
on alcohol and most of the findings are inclined
to the view that mere alcohol consumption is
not a sin, but however, excess intake of it
infuriates the holiness of our bodies thats the
The problem with this ideology is that there is
no apparent means to measure the degree to
which one has consumed to excess or not,
thus making it highly subjective to say that one
should not drink to excess. Another thing to
note is that by virtue of creation, we exist as
different physical entities and according to
scientists, alcohol effects differ with peoples
fitness, gender, weight and diet among other
things. Below is an insight from the field of
theology, by one Bernard Palmer on the matter.
What God commands Christians regarding
alcohol is to avoid drunkenness. (Ephesians
5:18). The Bible condemns drunkenness and its
effects. (Proverbs 23:29-35). Christians are
also commanded to not allow their bodies to be

mastered by anything. (1 Corinthians 6:12; 2

Peter 2:19). Drinking alcohol in excess is
undeniably addictive. Scripture also forbids a
Christian from doing anything that might offend
other Christians or encourage them to sin
against their conscience. (1 Corinthians
8:9-13). In light of these principles, it would be
extremely difficult for any Christian to say he is
drinking alcohol in excess to the glory of God.
(1 Corinthians 10:31).
Alcohol, consumed in small quantities, is
neither harmful nor addictive. In fact, some
doctors advocate drinking small amounts of red
wine for its health benefits, especially for the
heart. Consumption of small quantities of
alcohol is a matter of Christian freedom.
Drunkenness and addiction are sin. However,
due to the biblical concerns regarding alcohol
and its effects, due to the easy temptation to
consume alcohol in excess, and due to the
possibility of causing offense and/or stumbling
of others, it is usually best for a Christian to
abstain entirely from drinking alcohol.
Through this minor exploratory research, one of
the most controversial questions asked was,
why then should Christians say there is nothing
wrong with drinking alcohol and yet they
themselves claim that there is everything
wrong with getting drunk? What's the point of
drinking if one is not going to get drunk? The
question is quite logical taking into
consideration that most people's purpose of
drinking is to get wasted. However, I
discovered that the issue boils down to
individual perspective regardless of the
influences from all belief structures on the
matter. The issue is on morality and how one
continues to maintain it in his stupor is
paramount as it determines ones stance on
whether or not to label alcohol consumption a
sin or not.
Posted 24th April 2011 by Simbarashe Ashley
APR Thou Shall Not Refrain Thy
Brethren From a Binge
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by Simbarashe Nyambara
They say positive thinking is the basis of
positive results. For most people I know this is

just one of oldest sayings that does not mean

much because they think they understand their
failures in life to the extent of becoming
content in their negative outlook of life.
However, the truth behind every success story
is positive thinking and this might sound more
like a clich but its meaning still unravels
fruitful outcomes.
I have discovered that one of the demerits of
despair is that it narrows your pattern of
thought. Confining yourself to your own misery
is not the answer; procrastination can only be
the thief of time. Negativity attracts
hopelessness, distress and poverty; it's all
embedded within the laws of attraction. Think
of it this way, you can only benefit more from
thinking positively and having an action plan to
better your life by constantly trying harder to
achieve in contrast to confining oneself to
negative thinking. Be it money, academics or
even religion, success can only be achieved if
the conscience is conditioned to positive
thinking, hence adapt to only that which is
For instance, you are a school-leaver and just
got your mediocre results. You are hopeless
and the worst part is your results are beyond
mediocre; you have absolutely nothing so
define yourself as a failure. The reaction from
most youths is hopelessness, labelling
themselves as incapable and fall into the pit of
despair. Eventually your idle mind becomes
somewhat the devils workshop. However, one
can beat this with just a simple paradigm shift
of their mental outlook on life.
All you need is positive thinking. Instead of
wallowing over your misfortunes, this shift of
one's mindset can yield positive results.
Instead of crying over wasted time and wasting
some more time feeling pity for yourself, you
could start doing something about your
situation by means of positive thinking. This
enables you to rise and use your time wisely,
restructuring the course of your life. I am not
in any way a mentor or a motivational speaker
but I am a believer in positive thinking because
it has worked for me time and again. Below are
four benefits of positive thinking from experts
in psychology you may have overlooked when
you find yourself engulfed in misery.

Beat stress: The first benefit of positive

thinking is that it helps you overcome stress
since youll be handling situations in a positive
manner. Youll be able to let go of things that
you usually get frustrated or worried about.
Positive thinking helps you realise and
understand that feeling those negative
emotions leads to nowhere. Positive thinkers
see the solutions, not just the problems. When
you get over things and focus on the solution,
youre less likely to stress about it.
Deeper relationships: The truth is people love
positive people. It's much easier to connect
with positive people.
Incorporating positive thinking in your life not
only helps build deeper relationships with
people, but positive relationships with people.
Positive relationships are built on support, trust,
and understanding which makes the quality of
these relationships much better.
Peace of mind: Positive thinking will have you
looking at the positive side of life. Your mind
will relax and your thoughts will calm down.
Instead of your thoughts running wild to make
sure everything turns out okay, they will be
much more relaxed because you'll believe that
everything is okay. And if things don't turn out
for the best, it won't matter because you'll
have the ability to turn that negative into a
Fear goes away: Fear is the killer of all
dreams. It will hold you back, it will make you
stress, and it will turn something good into
something bad. Becoming a positive thinker
eliminates fear. When you know for certain in
your mind that you can turn burdens into
blessings, you'll have nothing to fear. You see,
all our emotions are created by what we think.
Fear comes from thinking about the negative.
Give fear a kick in the butt by thinking positive.
What I have learnt is that we channel the
course of our own destiny. The decisions we
make now will affect the future we are bound
to have if we are lucky enough to live till
tomorrow. We are the products of our own
thoughts, the shapers of our own destiny hence
the need to embrace the energy within positive
thinking for the benefit of our lives tomorrow.
Posted 20th April 2011 by Simbarashe Ashley

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By Simbarashe Nyambara
Just imagine being invited to a fancy wedding
where everyone around is geared up for the
occasion. As soon as you are about to have
that first drink, you notice two guys busy
stuffing bottles of alcohol in a satchel. After
pretending you didn't see anything and
confining your attention to the purpose of your
visit you find your attention suddenly diverted
from that wedding reception to those women
across the room busy stuffing dinner plates in
their giant handbags. Such is life at many
occasions I've attended.
I thought I should use this space to discuss this
kind of behaviour. What many would tend to
forget is that, the main purpose of a function,
especially get-togethers and weddings, is to be
interactive, mingle and share the joys of being
in each others company. These are not
platforms for heinous activities like thieving.
People should utilise these functions to help
each other in the proceedings of the day and
share in delight and desist from shameful
"I once went to a wedding and there was an
uproar on what had happened to the meat.
Apparently more than 45kg of beef had just
disappeared and it was later discovered that
the master of ceremony (MC) was behind the
disappearance. This was very sad as the MC is
a well- known person and people loved his
ability to keep the function upbeat. It was so
undignified of him considering his stature," said
one lady who shared one of her experiences on
the matter of misbehaving.
The problem is that some people justify their
acts of thieving at functions like weddings
saying that they are related or are friends, or
the victims would never care because they are
wealthy already. Indeed they might be wealthy
but there is no justification for such behaviour
considering that one will be just a guest.
It is also important that people should
understand that being invited to a certain
function is being respected and honoured. It's
a privilege, considering that the organisers

could have just decided to invite someone else

instead. The least we can do is behave and
appreciate the honour bestowed upon us by
leaving those dinner plates, cutlery and table
cloths alone.
The issue here is the morals of people. It
shows how people have morally declined in all
respects with regards to sharing in joys of
weddings, get-togethers, etc, and the sorrows
of bereavement. Its not only at weddings
where people take advantage of an event and
act immorally. You will find that even at house
parties, company cocktails and funerals
peoples behaviour leaves a lot to be desired.
Of late I have also noticed that some people,
besides stealing at functions, misuse available
services like telephones. How can anyone
spend hours on the phone when the main
reason you have been invited to the occasion is
to socialise, mingle and share the delights. This
shows that one will not be interested in the
proceedings of the day and the message you
are sending to the person who invited you is
that, I have better things to attend to and I am
just here because I have to. Even though this
might be the case, the least one can do is
honour the little time they are there and leave
before they start showing everyone that they
are not interested in the occasion.
No one wants to attend a function where the
food is limited, the drinks are limited and there
are strict rules on who gets what, when and
where. In order for their functions to be
successful, nowadays organisers try by all
means to get their stuff together so that
everyone can relax and enjoy.
After all this effort it's sad to note invited
guests terrorising the place looting, hording
leftovers and alcohol. It's both offending and
disgraceful. We should embrace the sentiment
of appreciation, sympathy and kindness at
functions. Let's show our appreciation by being
at our best behaviour when attending functions
and gatherings.
Posted 17th April 2011 by Simbarashe Ashley
APR "Gold Fingers: Respect Your
Hosts !"
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By Simbarashe Nyambara
Are all men really the same? The answer from
most men is definitely no. However, women
seem to be convinced that men are all the
same as they crave for the same things and
behave in the same manner as if they were
born from the same mother.
On the other hand most men in defence say
the reason why they act and behave likewise is
because they are constantly moulded that way
by their female counterparts. This means that
for most females to have that perception they
base it on what they see than what it is. Men's
behaviour is highly determined by their past
experience with the women they have been
with and some argue that it is rather genetic. In
a heated discussion, I heard very interesting
"No two people are alike when it comes to
behaviour, people are as unique as fingerprints
its only the lazy judge (women) who tends to
make wholesale statements without stopping to
analyse the individual differences. Why
generalise the particular?," said one Cephas
Mwale a resident of Bulawayo.
He seemed to have conformed to the idea that
there are no absolutes in life and saying that
men are the same would be an unjust way to
judge the male species. This is because no two
individuals, no matter how similar they are, are
the same, note the difference between "same"
and "similar".
However, the debate is not narrowed to the
definition of terms but on the social out look of
the matter.
Sophia Gutsa a child psychologist by profession
refuted Cephas's claim when she said,
"Men are all the same, never change, never
listen. I am pretty sure if men would listen, the
world would be less tragic. I guess and they all
act the same, psychologically somewhere
somehow they behave the same . . . not that
they are already labeled, but it's about
genetics, 93 percent of the occurrence, let me
say the disorders found in men's behaviour is
attributed to genetic factors, hereditary
component between the disorders, behaviour."
Having established a somewhat medically
inclined explanation on this, the fact that men's
behaviour is hereditary and is influenced by

genetic mutilation in their character is very

subjective. The logic is that, everyone passed
the childhood stage in their lives and eventually
landed into adulthood. In this process a child is
nurtured by his or her environment and reaches
a stage when he or she can decided and make
a choice based on what he or she has
experienced, hence the choice factor being the
determinant of the male "disorder". Every man
is a separate being from the next men and has
the power to chose and quite frankly saying
men are all the same just goes to say that men
make the same choices in life which I find
rather irrational, subjective and highly
"While I agree with you that nothing is absolute
I have to say some traits displayed by the male
species resound as true ie. "men are from
mars". The reason men have been labeled as
such is because of behaviour and a lot of it
also has to do with the labels that we as
women are labeled by your kind. Not to get all
scientific but for the most part it's all to do
with genetics and the way men think in general
because of the way men's brain is wired," said
Danai Tengende who had a rather mild view
point on the matter
Absalom Dzimiri conceded with those that
affirmed that men are not the same when he
said, "I don't think we are in any way the same,
there are always traits that make you slightly
different. Women think we are alike because
they are only looking at the nature side of us,
like all men love sex and are a sexual active
beings . . . We don't live only by this nature, we
also live by the spirit or faith etc. In this world
that's where we differ, that's why not all men
couldn't be like Abraham but when it comes to
nature me, you, Abraham have had erections as
men and that's what makes us the same, "our
sexuality". Sorry if I have gone too explicit I'm
only trying to stress a point."
Even though the expression may seem oblique
the points are evidently pertinent. What
Absalom had was a contrast between the
actual similarities in men, those that should be
considered the same and the ones that are
different. It is undeniable that by virtue of the
creation our physical beings as men are indeed
the same. However, when it comes to our

spiritual entities and behavioral patterns of

men, there is arguably a huge difference.
From the discussion it was clear that, the
argument was more of stereotypes and sexism
than one that is based on actuality of feasible
facts. While it might be true to some extent
that men are the same, what many tend to
forget is that the similarity is more of physical
than biological. Saying that the brain is wired
the same might be true to some extent but the
behavioural patterns are highly dissimilar. The
word "same" alone is an absolute. On the same
note the behavour of men might be similar and
the reasons why they are tend to be this way,
is that most men believe their tendencies are
female induced and at the end of the day the
decisions and choices they make become
somewhat similar and not the same.
Posted 16th April 2011 by Simbarashe Ashley
APR "Men Are All The Same...?"
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By Simbarashe Nyambara
Surprisingly the same reason that draws a man
to the club is arguably the same reason why he
would fight "women and alcohol". It is
beyond doubt that every man would want to
enjoy his time in the bar or club. No man wants
to be disrespected in a place like this hence
the slightest cue that someone is pushing him
over the edge usually sparks trouble, with kicks
flying, exchanging blows and in no time the
situation can turn into a bloodbath. Don't get it
twisted, even women fight in a bar arguably for
the same reasons but the focus here is on the
men mainly because they are the ones at the
centre of all the attention in most club fights.
Most feuds emanate from the fact that no man
wants his ego tampered with. I've discovered
that most men are attention seekers in the club
hence flossing with hard cash and beautiful
women, gives them status what many would
regard nowadays as "swag". In situations like
these, men are usually seen conversing and
giving each other respect for being "on top of
their game" so they say. It is evidenced that in
most cases after a few drinks of alcohol the
scenario changes and most of the time people

get over-excited and this is when all the drama

usually starts. Arguing over silly things and
taking things personally would turn a night of
binge among peers into a war zone. For
instance, getting too personal with your peers
women would suddenly erupt into a huge fight
even if there was nothing intimate that
transpired. People reasoning under the
influence of alcohol tend to see things
differently and they can become adamant and
The million dollar question is that how far
justified is a club fight. Prince Ndlovu who is
regular clubber had this to say, I don't justify
fighting not under any circumstance, fighting
never builds, it destroys.
After this response, another question came to
mind, that if fighting is never justified and it
destroys than it builds does that mean one
should let anyone walk all over their ego, what
then happens to my destroyed self esteem.
This might sound more like rhetoric but it's
probably one of the reasons why people end up
To get how people would react in the ideal
situation I presented a scenario.
For example you are a man in a club sitting by
the bar drinking with your girlfriend and all of a
sudden a drunken guy walks up to your woman
and touches her buttocks. Before you can do
anything, the guy looks at you, spits in your
face, provoking you what would be the best
"There is no compromise, beat the life out of
the guy, don't let people disrespect you in front
of your woman," remarked one man who
preferred anonymity.
"Backing down would of course be the most
civilised thing to do but the truth is if you cool
down people will walk all over you, at times you
need to man up," concurred Talent Nyonie
when he responded to the scenario presented.
It became apparent that it's the male nature to
fight and this stems from the animal instinct in
them. This instinct is said to be the reason why
men fight for almost anything territory, food
and females.
"Men fight because it feels good. It's thrilling.
Testosterone explodes and adrenaline surges.
The hormonal musk is potent enough to grow

hair on a grapefruit. We have love of battle in

our blood. There are biological and evolutionary
reasons for this. Like many male mammals,
men compete for territory, food, and most
importantly, females. After all, it's our genetic
compulsion to spread our seed. Violence is part
of our nature," said one John DeVore, an
extrovert in matters pertaining to male
behavioural patterns.
The truth is that fighting at beer binges is not a
new phenomena to this world neither are the
reasons behind it. Men are fond of dominance
and respect and in cases that they feel insulted
and challenged, usually result in physical
confrontations especially on drinking sprees.
However, the issue of being justified or not is
relative to situations and circumstances.
Indeed fighting should be condemned but one
must also take note of the fact that men have
the duty to protect what is rightly theirs and in
some instances fighting is only a way to
preserve and protect what they have.
Posted 13th April 2011 by Simbarashe Ashley
APR Beast mentality and animal
tendancies : "Men and Bar
1 View comments
By Simbarashe Nyambara
Clubbing is one of the oldest and still vibrant
forms of entertainment. What draws people to
certain clubs and render it the place to be, is
all out a matter of preference, but what exactly
do people prefer? What makes a certain club
distinct and exceptional are some of the
questions one would ask. An encounter with
one of the most popular club managers in the
city managed to shed light on the matter.
He is also the brain child behind the new
"Paparazzi club" launched in the city
(Bulawayo)last week and his experience in the
entertainment industry made him the ideal
person to shed more light on the matter.
Popularly known as "Manuwacho", said that the
in order for people to love a certain club they
should have high regard of it, respect and
popular in nature.
"The place should reveal itself that it's an up
market venture", he said. Among other things,

Manu emphasised that a club defines the

people that hangs around it and most clubbers
want to be associated with the best class
hence club appearance, security and the taste
of music are all factors that makes a club
electrifying. He was also confident to reveal
that the new Paparazzi is nothing short of an
ideal club seen for all club fans.
Many people who responded on the matter
concurred and added that music and women
make the club savvy. One Talent Ndlovu had
this to say,
"The music must be buzzing and the place
must be a chick magnet, I wouldn't stick around
in a club without any chicks roaming around, for
most guys, the ladies make it a place to be no
It seemed that issue of ladies became
somewhat a pre-requisite for most guys and
tend to over look things like security and
parking space. Talent added that even if a
scenario where by a club has the best and
finest beer but no ladies would be put in
comparison with that place where there is
cheap alcohol (good example maybe opaque
beer) but beautiful women around, he said
most men would be prefer the latter.
For some reason this sounds realistic in that in
most clubs that have beautiful ladies as
waiters and attending the bar, you find that
most clubs of this nature become very popular
among men. However, it is also true that
usually beautiful women usually go to clubs to
be associated with high class and it is very rare
to find Talent's supposed scenario where there
are beautiful ladies and sub-standard
atmosphere and cheep liquor.
"Ok for starters, the type of music, define the
crowd, then women who frequent the place,
their class, the beer served at the joint, those
are some of the pointers. At times the Dj has a
bigger role to play! Vicinity comes to mind as
well," said one Mzii Ka Matshudula when he
contributed to the discussion.
During the course of discussion and numerous
encounters with people, the realisation was
that, publicity is very paramount towards the
success of the club and the crowd it pulls.
There are a lot of people who fancy clubbing
but just can't get an ideal place because they

always ask the same question over and over

again "which one is hottest club to be? Where
should we go?" Clubs just like any other
entertainment business thrives on publicity to a
lager extent. Promotions by the use of the
internet and various social networks to reach
people from different place puts the word on
the streets and people are in most instances
made aware, anticipating and urging to be part
of it.
However not all people are club lovers and it
was only far to air the reasons why some
people do not fancy clubs. One respondent who
preferred anonymity remarked,
"I just find that you can't communicate in them
properly and I get very bored there. All you can
do is dance, pull, or drink. It seems to me that
if you are a clubber and over eighteen then the
main thing you are looking for there is to get
laid. Dancing is cool too, but the main focus is
the obvious. I must quickly reiterate at this
point that I cannot do either dance or pull
It is quite clear that some people do not fancy
the rowdiness of the club scene. This is
because it makes them so uncomfortable
taking into consideration the fact that
communication is limited. On the contrary, it's
a plus for clubbers who do not have intentions
for a decent conversation but just intended to
have a good time. Above all, the club
atmosphere especially it's interior and exterior
affects its popularity. The crowd and the
women that hangs out there is very significant
and above all how the club is marketed and
promoted contributes major to its success.