You are on page 1of 17

The importance of marriage in islam

Islam's Ruling on Marriage

All of the scholars are in agreement that marriage is something recommended


(mustahabb) and called for in Islam. Some took it to the level of obligatory (waajib)
for those with the ability based on the Prophet's (sas) statement:

"Whoever has the ability should marry for it is better in lowering the
gaze and guarding one's chastity. Whoever is not able, let him fast
for it is for him a restraint." (Al-Bukhari)

Without doubt, marriage is part of the social agenda of Islam and the objective it to
maximize marriage and to combat "singlehood" as much as possible. This means that
if marriage begins decreasing for whatever reason such as exhorbitant dowries,
economic injustice, etc. then these evils must be combatted in defense of marriage.
If polygamy is neglected and not done sufficiently, this will create a number of single
women and a situation which requires social effort to correct.
Likewise, if polygamy is done to excess by some individuals, it will produce an excess
of single men another situation which must be corrected. The raising of children must
be done in such a way which promotes marriage and raises both men and women
knowledgeable of their roles and duties within the family. All of this can be found in
Allah's command to the Muslims as a whole to maximize marriage among us:

{And marry off the single among you and the righteous ones among your
male and female slaves. If they are poor, Allah will enrichen them
from His bounties and Allah is expansive, knowing.} An-Nur:32

Benefits of Marriage

Children

• The love of Allah is sought in seeking to have children. Allah has decreed this as the
means by which mankind generally and this Ummah specifically will continue to
exist. Allah said:

{Mothers nurse their babies two whole years for those who wish to
complete their nursing. Upon the one for whom the baby was born is her
food and her clothing in equitable and proper terms. No soul will be
emburdened beyond its ability. No mother may be harmed on account of
her child nor any father by his child and the heir is chargeable in the same
way. If the two [parents] decide on weaning by mutual agreement and
consultation, there is no blame on them. And if you decide on a wet-nurse
for your children, there is no blame on you provided you pay what you
offered equitably and properly. And fear Allah and know that Allah sees
well all that you do.} Al-Baqarah:233

• The love of Allah's Messenger (sas) is also sought in seeking to have children
because he (sas) said:

"Marry the loving and the fertile for I will outdo the nations with you[r
numbers]. (In another version: "...for I will outdo the prophets with you[r
numbers] on Qiyama.")

With seeking children is also the seeking of the great blessing of a righteous offspring
who makes du'a for you after your death or the intercession of a child who dies
before reaching adulthood.

"When a person dies, his works come to an end (are cut off) except from three
sources: except from an ongoing charity which he established or knowledge from
which benefit is taken or a righteous offspring who makes du'a for him."

From Abi Saeed (ra) that the women said to the Prophet (sas), "Reserve for us a day."
So he (sas) preached to them and said, "Any woman who had three children die will
find them to be a protection for them from the fire." One woman asked, "And two?"
He (sas) said, "And two [as well]."

Other Benefits of Marriage

• Protecting oneself from Shaitaan by satisfying one's desires and giving oneself rest
and relief from the world by the two spouses enjoying each other's company.
• Division of labor. When one lives alone, much of his time will be taken up by
cooking and tending to his domical and will not be able to dedicate time to
knowledge and other good deeds. A righteous wife is an aid to her husband in this
regard. She is primarily responsible for the keeping of the house and children while
he is responsible for supplying their needs. In addition to going out to seek their
sustenance, he should fulfil his duties in the area of da'wah, enjoining right and
forbidding wrong, jihad, etc.
• Practice of self-discipline and combating the nafs training it in responsibility and
custody by fulfilling all obligations toward one's family, being patient and forbearing
with their character and putting up with their annoyances. In addition to this, the
Muslim man must struggle and strive for their improvement in Islam and guiding
them to the straight path of the deen. He must struggle to earn from the lawful for
their sake and to participate in the raising of the children on the best of character.
These are acts of very high status and of very high reward from Allah. The Prophet
(sas) said:

"Anything you spend on your family will be a source of reward [from Allah], even a
morsel of food which you raise to your wife's mouth." "A dinar you spent in Allah's
path, a dinar you spent in freeing a slave, a dinar which you gave in charity to a
needy person and a dinar which you spent on your family. The greatest of them in
reward is the one you spent on your family."

Afflictions of Marriage

Marriage can also represent a test or be afflicted with some harmful situations.
• The worst of them is failing to seek sustenance from the lawful. If that becomes
difficult, the husband may become tempted to reach his hand into the haraam.
• Falling short with regard to the rights of women and being patient with their
character and their annoyances. In that there is a great danger because the man is
the "shepherd" in the household and is to be questioned about those under his care.
The Prophet (sas) said:

"Verily, woman was created from a rib and she will never stay for you on a straight
way. If you get enjoyment from her, you get enjoyment while she still has her
crookedness but if you insist on straightening her you will break her. And "breaking"
of her is divorce." All of you are custodians and will be asked about your charges. The
Imam is a custodian and will be asked about his charges. The man is a custodian of
his family and he will be asked about his charges. The woman is a custodian of her
husband's house and she will be asked about her charges. The servant is a custodian
of his bosses’ property and he will be asked about his charges ... So all of you are
custodians and will be asked about your charges. (Al-Bukhari)

• For ones family to be a distraction from the remembrance of Allah such that he
spends his days and nights enjoying his family and fails to make time for his heart to
ponder the hereafter and to work for
it. Allah said:

{O you, who believe, let not your wealth nor your children divert you
from the remembrance of Allah. And whoever does that are indeed those
in loss.} Al-Munafiqoon: 9

Summary: Benefits and Harms

We have now summarized the possible harms and benefits in marriage. So, the ruling
regarding marriage for each and every individual - as to which is better for him,
marriage or staying single - is measured against these harms and benefits. Each
seeker of Allah should measure himself against these factors and conditions. If none
of the harmful issues are present and the benefits are all apparent such that he
possesses [sufficient] wealth and good character, is a young person with a need for
companionship, then there is no doubt that marriage is preferable and must be
sought. On the other hand, if many of the harms are suspected or feared and not all
the benefits will occur in any case, then staying single may be preferable for a
particular
individual.

Usually no one forgoes getting married except one, who is either impotent or
promiscuous, as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said to a
man who had not got married: “Nothing is keeping you from getting married except
either impotence or immorality.”

In any case, Islam urges people to get married and considers marriage to be one of
the ways of the Messengers; it is forbidden to forego getting married even if the
intention is to devote oneself to worship. “There is no monasticism in Islam.”

Islam, unlike other religions is a strong advocate of marriage. There is no place for
celibacy like, for example the Roman Catholic priests and nuns. The prophet (pbuh)
has said "there is no celibacy in Islam.

Marriage is a religious duty and is consequently a moral safeguard as well as a social


necessity. Islam does not equal celibacy with high "taqwa" / "Iman". The prophet has
also said, "Marriage is my tradition who so ever keeps away there from is not from
amongst me".

Considerations in Choosing a Wife

• Her religion. This is by far the most important consideration and above all others. If
she does not have good Islam, she will corrupt her husband.

The Prophet (sas) said:


"Women are married for four: her wealth, her family, her beauty and her
religion. So succeed with the one with religion, may your hands be in the
dust (i.e., may you be impoverished if you ignore this warning).

• Character. Bad character is harmful to the individual and those around them.
• Beauty. This is something desirable, even if it ranks after religion in importance,
because it is one of the things which makes the marriage strong and protects the
man from wrongdoing. For this reason, the Prophet (sas) ordered men seeking
marriage to get a look at the woman before marrying her. Some people used to
refuse to neither consider this nor intend it. It is reported that Imam Ahmad chose a
cross-eyed woman over her sister. But this is rare and human nature is at odds with
it.

From Al-Mughira ibn Shu'ba that he sought to marry a woman and the
Prophet (sas) said to him: "Look at her for it is more assuring that it should
last between you."

• An easy (smaller) dowry. Said ibn Al-Musayyib married his daughter for two dirhams
(about $2.00). The Prophet's (sas) dowries were generally much larger than that and
there are no specific limits put on the dowry other than that they should be
reasonable and not represent an undue obstacle to marriage.
o From Umm Habiba that she was under Ubaidullah ibn Jahsh when he went to
Ethiopia ... and he died [there]. Allah's Messenger (sas) married Umm Habiba while
she was in Ethiopia. An-Najashi married her to him and her dowry was four thousand
and he gave her provision from his wealth and sent her to Allah's Messenger (sas)
with Sharhabeel ibn Hasana and all of her provision was from An-Najashi, Allah's
Messenger did not send anything to her. And the dowries of the wives of the Prophet
(sas) were four hundred dirhams.
Umar ibn Al-Khattab said: Do not become excessive in the dowries of women for if it
(i.e., high dowries) were an honor in this life or piety with Allah, the Messenger of
Allah (sas) would have been the first of you to do it. But I never knew Allah's
Messenger (sas) to have married anyone of his wives nor to have married any of his
(sas) daughters for more than 12 ounces of gold. Abu Isa (i.e., At- Tirmidhi) said, This
is a good, sound hadith ... and the "ounce" is known by the scholars to equal 40
dirhams, so 12 ounces is equal to 480 dirhams.
Just as excessive dowries are disliked from the wife's side; it is equally disliked for the
man to inquire about her wealth. Ath-Thawri said: "If a man is marrying and he asks,
"What does she have?” know that he is a thief."

• Virginity.
This is because the Lawgiver encouraged that and human nature favours it. This is
because she will love her husband more and feel closer to him than a previously
married woman. Human nature is inclined toward closeness to the first object of love
or familiarity.
It is also more favourable to his love for her because there is something which repels
one from she who has been touched by others.
• Fertility. Thas she be capable of bearing children. The Prophet (sas) said:
o "Marry the friendly and fertile, for I will compete with the other nations with your
large numbers."
• Family. She should be from a family of good religion and character.
• That she be not too closely related to her husband. Umar ibn Al- Khattab is reported
to have said:
"Marry afar and do not become sickly."

As we saw in the hadith, it is desirable for the man to look at the woman before
marrying her. Also, the guardian of the woman should investigate the religion of the
suitor, his character and his conditions for if he marries her to a man of corrupt
character or of innovation in his deen, he will have transgressed against her and
against himself.
A man said to Al-Hassan Al-Basriy: "To whom should I marry my daughter?"
Al-Hassan said, "To one who fears Allah for if he comes to love her, he will
honour her and if he dislikes her he will not oppress her."

A Look at the Obligations upon the Husband and Those Upon the Wife As for the man,
he must maintain justice and good character in twelve issues.
• Al-Waleema. The marriage celebration/feast. This is a strong sunnah and something
desireable in Islam.
• Good character with his wife and patience with her irritations due to her
weaknesses. The Prophet (sas) said: Take care with regard to women. Verily, the
woman was created from a rib and the most crooked part of the rib is the top. So, if
you insist on straightening it you will only break it and if you leave it, it will remain
crooked. So take care with regard to women.
From Ibn Abbas who said, "I wanted for a long time to ask Umar regarding
the two wives of the Prophet (sas) about whom Allah said {If you [two]
repent to Allah, your hearts are indeed so inclined...}" ... he said,” They are
Hafsa and Aisha", then he told the stories saying:
"We people of Quraish were a people who controlled our women. But when we came
to Al-Madinah we found a people controlled by their women. Our wives began to
learn from them. One day I became angry with my wife and she began arguing with
me. I criticized her for this arguing of hers and she said, Do you condemn me for
arguing with you? For by Allah the wives of the Prophet (sas) argue with him and one
of them may boycott him (sas) the whole day until the night. So I set out and went to
Hafsa's house and said to her, "Is it true that you argue with Allah's Messenger
(sas)?" She said, "Yes." I said, "Is it true that one of you may boycott him for the
whole day until the night?" She said, "Yes." I said, "She is surely in shame who does
that among you and in loss. Does one of you feel safe from Allah's anger upon her for
the anger of His Messenger. What if she were to die [in that state]? Do not argue with
Allah's Messenger (sas) and do not ask him for anything. Rather, ask me for anything
that occurs to you and do not be misled by the fact that your neighbour may be more
pleasing to and more loved by Allah's Messenger (sas) than you. (He means Aisha).
• To be friendly with one's spouse including playing around with them and joking with
them. Allah's Messenger (sas) had a foot-race with Aisha on more than one occasion
and he used to joke with his wives. He said to Jabir upon hearing that he had married
a mature woman (because he had been left with nine sisters as orphans): "... Choose
a [young] virgin that she may play with you and you with her..."
• That the husband be moderate in such matters avoiding both being stern and
unfriendly but also avoiding being so "loose" as to fall short in his obligations as head
and leader of the family or to lose respect as such.
• Moderation with regard to jealousy such that he does not become unmindful of
basic principles and the dangers of temptation but also not to go to extremes in
suspicion and thinking evil of his mate. "If you stay away for an extended period, do
not return to your family
at night."
• Moderation with regard to expenses and spending on his family. He should avoid
both extremes of israaf (excess) and taqteer (miserliness).
• The husband should study and learn all of the rulings of the Shari'a having to do
with marriage, married life and women's periods. He should make sure his wife
knows all that she needs to know in this regard and remove any innovations or
deviant beliefs or practices that she may have. He should teach her what she needs
to know about her monthly periods such as that if it ends one rakaat (of time) before
Maghrib that she must make dhuhr and asr and if it ends one rakaat before fajr that
she should pay back maghrib and isha. It is rare for women to take care of such
rulings.
• If he has more than one wife, he must do justice between them. The justice which is
required is in nights spent with each and what is spent on or given to each. Equality
with regard to love, affection, etc. is NOT required of the husband for that is not
within his control. If he is going on a trip and wishes to take one with him, he can
"draw straws" to decide which one. "Whoever has two wives and favors one of them
will come on Qiyama with half is body twisted (or out of line)."

From Aisha (ra) that the Prophet (sas) used to divide between his wives
and was just between them and he (sas) said: "O Allah, this is my division
in that which I control (or "own") so do not blame me regarding that which
you control and I do not control."

Nushooz (rebellion or turning away). If nushooz originates from the woman, the
husband can reprimand her and require her to return to obedience. However, he
must move slowly and in steps only after being sure with himself that it is not he
himself who has transgressed bounds and become the cause of her misbehaviour. If
he is certain of this, then he should begin with only reminders and good words with
guidance from the Qur'an and the Sunnah. Only if this is of no avail should he
escalate to the other measures such as sleeping separately, boycotting (no more
than three days), etc.

• Etiquettes of having children:

o Never rejoice at getting a boy or a girl instead of the other one.


You have no way of knowing in which Allah may place the greatest good.
o Pronounce the adhan in the babies right ear and the iqama in its left right after it is
born.
o Give them a good name. The sunnah is that an individual has only a single name.
The rest of his name consists of his father's name which may be followed by his
grandfather's name and then by the family or clan name. Nothing but the first name
should ever be changed. If the name has a bad meaning such as "Abdush-Shams"
(slave of the sun), it should be changed, but ONLY if it is the individual's FIRST name.
The Prophet (sas) changed the names of several of the sahaba because of their
negative meanings, but there was never any case where the father's name was
omitted or changed even where it has a completely reprehensible meaning. Harb ibn
Abdush-Shams was one such case. His name became Abdur-Rahman ibn Abdush-
Shams.
o Al-Aqeeqah. Sacrifice two lambs for a boy and one lamb for a girl. Prepare the food
and invide the Muslims to eat.
o At-Tahneek. Place some mashed date or other sweet item on the roof of the baby's
mouth and moving it around with the finger to stimluate eating and make du'a for
the baby. This is at 7 days, the same time as the Aqeeqah.
From Asmaa (ra) I became pregnant from Abdullah ibn Az-Zubair. I left when nearing
full term and went to Al-Madinah. After arriving at Quba, I gave birth there. I brought
him to the Prophet (sas) and put him on his (sas) lap. He (sas) called for some dates,
chewed them and then put them from his (sas) mouth to the baby's mouth. So, the
first thing to enter his stomach was the saliva of Allah's Messenger (sas). Then he did
the tahneek with dates, made du'a for him and asked for blessings upon him. That
was the first baby born in Islam. (i.e., in Al-Madinah and among the Muhaajireen.)
• Circumcision of boys.
• Divorce. Divorce is allowed in Islam but not encourage nor to be taken lightly.
Divorce is the sole perogative of the man. If a woman desires to end the marriage but
the man is unwilling to do so, she must resort to khul'a before the imam or a qadhi. A
man should not surprise his wife with a divorce without any misdeed on her part. It is
not allowed for the woman to force her husband to divorce without any misdeed or
corruption on his part.
From Thaubaan that Allah's Messenger (sas) said: "Any woman who asks her
husband for divorce without any wrongdoing, forbidden to her is even the scent of
Paradise." (This hadith is authentic.)
o If he must divorce, he must adhere to the following:
o He must divorce her after her period is complete and before they have been
together.
o He should pronounce only one divorce and take advantage of the period of ruj'a
during which he can easily reverse his decision.
o To be easygoing and generous during the process, as Allah said {... or separate
from them in a goodly manner...}. It is narrated that Al- Hassan ibn Ali (may Allah be
pleased with them both) divorced his wife and sent ten thousand dirhams to her.
Upon receiving them, she said, "A small provision from a departing lover."
o Do not disclose any of her secrets to anyone else. "Among the most evil people
before Allah on Qiyama is a man who shares intimacy with his wife and she with him
and then he exposes her secrets."
It is reported from some of the early generations that a man wanted to divorce his
wife. It was said to him: "What is the problem with her?" He said, "An intelligent man
does not violate secrets." After he had divorced her, they asked him, "Why did you
divorce her?" He answered,
"What businesses have I with another's woman?”
Reply With Quote
1. 05-11-2008 07:44 PM #2
Na'imah

o View Profile

o View Forum Posts

o View Blog Entries

Junior Member
Join Date
Oct 2008
Madhhab
Hanafi
Posts
9
Gender

Jokingly saying you are my wife.


Asalamu 'alaikum wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuh,

Brother I am confused. My mu'alima told us that if you jokingly say to someone you
are my husband or my wife and they innocently accept but you say "joke!" you are
clinically married, please brother or anybody, do you have any idea if this is true- not
that I have done this, just need to get the truth. I need any opinion from any scholar,
a hadith does not matter- but logically to me it does not sound right, but Allahu
'alam.

Jazak Allah khair everybody.


Reply With Quote
2. 05-11-2008 10:31 PM #3
Hamza81

o View Profile

o View Forum Posts

o View Blog Entries

Senior Member
Join Date
Sep 2008
Madhhab
Hanafi
Posts
748
Gender

Re: Jokingly saying you are my wife.

Originally Posted by Na'imah


Asalamu 'alaikum wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuh,

Brother I am confused. My mu'alima told us that if you jokingly say to someone you
are my husband or my wife and they innocently accept but you say "joke!" you are
clinically married, please brother or anybody, do you have any idea if this is true- not
that I have done this, just need to get the truth. I need any opinion from any scholar,
a hadith does not matter- but logically to me it does not sound right, but Allahu
'alam.

Jazak Allah khair everybody.


Asalam wr wb sister, well according to imam Yusuf Ziya Kavakci:

"The persons who are doing any type of marriage relations between each other, men
and women, according to Islamic law, even if they do it jokingly that is to be taken as
a valid one because there is a Hadith which says Nikah (marriage), Talaq (divorce)
and emancipation of slaves, the joking one (Hazl) and serious ones (Jidd) are the
same.

and if the sister who told you is also a scholar then it must be true!
the source for this is: http://www.soundvision.com/Info/weddings/faqs.asp
Reply With Quote
3. 06-11-2008 07:32 PM #4
Na'imah

o View Profile

o View Forum Posts


o View Blog Entries

Junior Member
Join Date
Oct 2008
Madhhab
Hanafi
Posts
9
Gender

Re: The importance of marrige in islam


Jazak Allah Khair brother!
Reply With Quote
4. 31-12-2008 06:05 AM #5
Hamza81

o View Profile

o View Forum Posts

o View Blog Entries

Senior Member
Join Date
Sep 2008
Madhhab
Hanafi
Posts
748
Gender

Re: The importance of marrige in islam


Introduction

In light of modern day, what is marriage? What does it mean? The Collins Paperback
English Dictionary states under the heading of marriage: ‘The contract made by a
man and a woman to live as husband and wife’.
The Hutchinson Encyclopedia states: ‘..legally or culturally sanctioned union..’.
So, according to the dictionary and the encyclopedia marriage is supposed to be a
relationship that joins a man and a woman together via a contract. When one looks
at what marriage actually is in this modern era of the world one finds a completely
different picture. It seems as though modern couples sign the contract with a get-out-
whenever-you-like-upon-trivial-matters clause, which enables both the husband and
the wife to s**** their marriage contracts and break their marriage oaths whenever
they feel like leaving their partner and move on.
Marriage is supposed to tie a man and a woman together and strengthen their
relationship. Today the world is seeing a new era where marriage is no longer
considered necessary or even significant for a relationship. Islam has laid down rules
and regulations for marriage and has considered marriage an important and essential
part of a Muslims life. This lack of understanding has in itself caused many problems
such as fornication, homosexuality, masturbation etc., which are getting worse day
by day. I will attempt to unfold these issues using The Holy Quran and the saying of
the messenger of Allah: Muhammad .
top

Marriage in Islam

Marriage is a vital part of a Muslim’s life. In fact marriage is so important in the


religion of Islam that it is declared to be one half of one’s faith. As a Muslim one
should live in accordance with the Islamic Jurisprudence in the way shown by the
greatest of creations and the person who was the greatest impact on mankind in the
existence of the universe, The Holy Prophet Muhammad . The Prophet himself
married and also encouraged others to marry. It has been reported that The Prophet
Muhammad said,

‘A person who posses the means to marry (i.e. he is able to work etc. to support a
wife and children) and does not marry then he is not from amongst us (i.e. the
believers).’

In another narration the Prophet Muhammad has been reported to have said,

‘Do not delay in three things; 1) The offering of the obligatory prayer. 2) The offering
of the funeral prayer when the deceased’s body is present . 3) The marriage of a
woman when her couple is found’

One can see from this statement that to become a complete and true believer one
must act upon the advice given by The Prophet Muhammad . This means marrying
when the partner is found and not delaying it for too long.

The Creator of the Universe – Allah - has stated in the Quran,

‘And wed the single among you’. (C24 : V32)

One can see from the above verse that the Creator of mankind himself has ordered
us to marry. The scholars of Islam have stated that when Allah states an order in the
Quran like the above-mentioned one then this order becomes compulsory on man
hence marriage is an obligatory act. The big question must be why? Why has Islam
emphasised marriage so much and why has the best of creations encouraged it so
much. Surely there must be a reason. Well there are a number of reasons why Islam
has emphasised marriage so much. A few of which I will mention.
top

Why marry?

Marriage makes an incomplete human being a complete one. It makes him/her a


grown up and gives him/her responsibilities whether those responsibilities are to feed
and clothe the wife or to assist the husband. Marriage is supposed to take a person
out of the hectic lifestyle that one is in and place him or her in an organised
environment giving them a path to follow in life and a shoulder to lean on. In short
marriage arranges one’s life. In Islam a man cannot have relationships with those he
can marry unless it is within marriage. In other words Islam gives the right to a
woman to be a wife of a man independant of the marriage relationship the man may
have with another woman. This is a key diffence because in the modern era a man is
not guilty if he has relationships with a woman outside of marriage but the moment
he contracts to treat this woman equally as his wife, he is criminalised for illegal
behaviour. This is odd as the current common law does not criminalise the actual
relationship of the man with another woman but punishes the solemn
promise/affirmation in writing to continue. Any off-spring would be illegitamate as the
courts would not recognise polgamy even though it exists and is accepted in
behaviour but not in writing. In some senses the increase in divorce rates and re-
marriages we see nowadays is in someways a serial version of polygamy!. There are
many reasons that support polygamy but Islam limits the practice to four wives and
is allowed only when one can be fair to all wives. Polygamy is only mentioned briefly
here but as a subject could be read in further detail elsewhere. Please also note that
the current Law of the land in this regard should be abided by.

Marriage helps to safeguard one’s imaan (faith) i.e. it stops one from committing
such acts by which s/he could be considered immoral. Sins such as intermingling with
people of the opposite sex or socialising as it is classed in everyday terms are not
considered to be acceptable in Islam, (because it creates immorality and immodesty)
even though an incredibly large amount of people will hastely class it as an 'essential'
part of one’s day.
top

Marriage and its Connection with Fornication and Homosexuality

One of the most underestimated sins is fornication. Nowadays this is considered to be


something which one should feel proud of with a ‘the more the better’ motto it seems
which is an incredibly sad thing to say. Fornication is a despicable act in the eyes of
Islamic Jurisprudence due to its ill effects on society. Many youngsters and even
teenagers get dragged into this act and then suffer the consequences when they (in
most cases the female) are left to look after the child and struggle greatly due to
financial difficulties. Many also end up leaving the child in an orphanage;
circumstances in society can create an unfortunate and challenging upbringing.
Hence, fornication plays an extremely significant part in the fall of society. What
makes it worse is that today’s society has considered it to be a small matter and it is
not paid any attention to it (or not as much as it needs). In fact in modern society
fornication is not even considered wrong (i.e. it is not even considered immoral).

Marriage also reduces the possibility of one indulging in the forbidden act of
homosexuality. This is such a despicable and cursed act that the proven partakers of
this act would attract capital punishment under Islamic Law with a heavy burden on
proof (please note that the current law of the land should be abided by individuals
and upheld by authorities). Homosexuality is not only against nature but it also
seriously endangers one’s health. Homosexuals or bisexuals are much more likely to
contract diseases such as AIDS and HIV from their sexual relationships than a man is
who conducts sexual relationships with women. This is due to the fact that in
hetrosexual intercourse (i.e. man + woman) there is normally only one way that this
disease can be passed on from one individual to the other and that is through the
transfusion of the fluids excreted during sexual intercourse. Whereas during a
homosexual relationship, during anal intercourse (also prohibited in Islam) there are
two ways in which the disease can be contracted. The first way is through the mixing
of the fluids and the second way is through the mixing of the blood, which is emitted
from the body during anal intercourse. The risk of perpetrating homosexual
behaviour increases when a man fails to marry a woman. On the other hand, if a man
marries a woman then the risk of him ever commiting homosexual behaviour is
almost invariably mitigated.

Islam has tried to prevent those factors that cause immorality, promiscuity and
ultimately the downfall of society such as fornication and homosexuality. Islam
understands the harms of such things and has therefore laid down severe
punishments for those who decide to commit these crimes. In this way one will
attempt to stay away from these crimes in any possible way. I am sure that there will
be some people who will find the use of the word crime to describe the acts of
fornication and homosexuality somewhat peculiar but as they are root causes of
harm for the whole of society that is how they are classified in Islam.. For example:
Many cases of domestic violence, rape/indecent assault and disfunctional families are
caused/inflicted by peaople who turn around and try to excuse their behaviour by
saying they did not think they were committing an illegal act. The cries and
complaints of the victims are dismissed as normality in 'this day and age'. For
example: a child is left with a single parent due to non-marriage relationships easliy
breaking down. A rape victim is unjustly and quickly accused of 'consenting' as
casual sex/extra marital sex is not illegal. A person is infected with a transmitted
disease through extra-marital/casual sex of their 'partner'. (A child is born with HIV
due to the mother being infected by the desease through extra-marital/casual sex by
herself/partner). A child is left with a single parent due to one of the parents being in
a homosexual relationship. Fewer children have a brother/sister from the same
parent due to homosexual relationship of parent. A baby from casual/extra marrital
intercourse is killed (aborted). A decline in population due to abortions from
temporary relationships. A drop in births due to same sex relationships. A decline in
births causes a decrease in the number of people who look after others in old age.
The nature of temporary relationships leads to a climate of doubt and questionable
parentage. Paternity tests may not be error free, conclusive or affordable and legal
declarations of paternity and custody can take a long time even when all parties wish
it to be expedient. Children in almost all cases would prefer knowing who their
biological parents are and prefer being brought up by them however temporary
relationships can be very complicated and children end up being the silent victims of
social crimes.
top

The Knock-on Effects of Fornication and Homosexuality

Unfortunately today, the state and most societies fail to acknowledge fornication and
homosexuality as a great factor in the slowing down of the progress of a society as a
whole. Many couples acknowledge bringing up children, particularly teenagers is not
easy. To do so when one is single is definitely harder. The very nature of relationships
out of marriage leads to temporal behaviour devoid of commitment. Even long
standing relationships are tested against time only to breakdown due to the absense
of commitment in the form of a marriage contract. Children need to be nurtured, be
motivated and be re-assured. They need role models and people who they can
talk/confide in. Where families are broken and reflect the state of society young
people do not recieve the support they need. 'Time and Money' being the
commodoties that are best shared in family environments are split or consumed by
'individual space/pursuits'. Children are left vulnerable to society's ills and
juvenile crime; leading to a life devoid of social resposibility and this degenerating
cycle repeats. People attemting to attract potential sexual participants often resort to
displaying themselves with the latest trend in clothes, gadjets, cars/posessions. Some
waste a lot of money ensuring they replace yesterdays gear with today's. Money is
commonly channeled away from necessities and somtimes substantial debt is
incurred. These expenses may be paid by hard-earned cash however ill gotten means
(fraud/theft) fueling such showful habits are familiar and increasing as 'must have'
mentalities prevail. Indecent/sexual assault, rape etc are crimes that are commited
where defence excuses touted include 'honourable attention', wrong signals'
'reasonable belief of consent', etc. If sexual intercourse was legal only under
marriage then some of these crimes can be prevented as there will be no excuses.
There would also be a decrease in crimes centred around attention competion as
again the objective would be only legal within marriage and so opportunists would
find it diffficult. Crime rates in islamic/moral socities is considerably lower than where
fornication and homosexuality is not abated.
top

Marriage and Masturbation

One type of indecent practise, which has crept into the youngsters of today, is the
practise of masturbation. This is partly due to the fact that many people decide to
marry very late on in their lives, (which is not in accordance with what The Prophet
Muhammad said). This leads them into this practice because they feel that they need
to fulfil their carnal desires but they cannot do so in the normal way i.e. sexual
intercourse.

Islam has condemned the act of masturbation simply because it is harmful towards a
person not only physically but also morally. Masturbation contributes to the
weakening of the sexual organs. One reason why people do not think that
masturbating is wrong is because that is what most people are led into thinking. I can
remember very well from my time in school when the teacher actually encouraged
masturbation by saying that one should masturbate whenever one feels the urge and
that one should not consider it to be wrong or immoral. I myself found this fairly
shocking due to the fact that I came from a background where acts such as
masturbation were shunned.
top

A Final Word Regarding Marriage

Islam has many reasons to encourage marriage such as its advantages in


safeguarding one’s faith and also because marriage is an essential element in the
proper upbringing of children. This is because children without one of their parents
are much more likely to commit crimes etc. and in short become a nuisance to the
environment they live in. Marriage plays a large part in saving one from fornication,
homosexuality and masturbation. It takes away the possibility of these things
because after marriage a man is supposed to occupy himself with a woman he has
married and vice versa.

The Prophet Muhammad has himself said, ‘A person who posses the means to marry
(i.e. he is able to work etc. to support a wife and children) and does not marry, then
he is not from amongst us (i.e. the believers).’

Not only has The Holy Prophet Muhammad placed emphasis on the importance of
marriage but also the Creator of the Universe (Allah) has commanded His people to
marry when He says in the Quran, ‘And wed the single among you’. (chapter 24,
verse 32)

From the above verse one sees again that the Creator of mankind has ordered man
(not just advised him) to join in matrimony. I am hopeful that you will agree on the
importance of marriage based on the above factual data / the Quran and the sayings
of The Prophet Muhammad .

Unfortunately though, even after much emphasis from Islam on the importance of
marriage, many people still fail to acknowledge its significance. A relationship
between two people is not just supposed to be a short, action-packed romance story
from the studios of Hollywood (which inevitably comes to an end sooner rather than
later), but it is supposed to be a serious, long-term relationship in which both
individuals are content and comfortable with one another. A relationship should not
exist of a one-night-stand as is the case now especially amongst students of
universities, colleges and even schools. A relationship should show that both partners
are ready to sacrifice and endure for their partner; the way towards this is through
marriage. Until the world realises the importance of marriage as well as its benefits
and advantages, it will be faced with the endless problems caused by neglecting
marriage.
Reply With Quote
5. 26-08-2009 07:52 PM #6
Hamza81

o View Profile

o View Forum Posts

o View Blog Entries

Senior Member
Join Date
Sep 2008
Madhhab
Hanafi
Posts
748
Gender

Re: The importance of marriage in islam


Marriage is a basic remedy for the sexual appetite. Alternative solutions are merely
to enable you to bide your time until the proper circumstances for marriage arrive:
maturity, adequate financial resources, and a virtuous woman.

The Messenger of Allah, May Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “O young
men! Any of you who are able to marry should do so. It lowers the eyes and protects
the private parts. Any of you who are unable to do so should fast. Fasting is a
protection for you.” Young men are addressed because they have the strength and
youthful vigour. They are subject to sexual desire for women and are generally not
free of it. An Nawawi said, “My companions consider the term ‘young men’ to cover
all those who are between the age of puberty and thirty years old.” The Prophet
[peace be upon him] prescribed marriage for those who have the means for it and
those who do not have means should fast and control their desires until the time
Allah opens the way for them.

We find the source of this in the Noble Quran where Allah Almighty says:
“Any of you who do not have the means to marry believing free women may marry
believing slave girls who are owned by those among you. Allah knows best about
your belief – you are all equally believers. Marry them with their owners’ permission
and give them dowries correctly and courteously as married women, not in
fornication or taking them as lovers. When they are married, if they commit
fornication, they should receive half the punishment of free women. This is for those
of you who are afraid of committing fornication. But to be patient would be better for
you. Allah is All-Knowing, Most Merciful.” (Surah an Nisa: Ayah 25)

This is a dispensation from Allah and a mercy for those Muslims who lack the
financial resources to marry believing free women. He therefore unlocks another door
for them, but still concludes by saying, “But to be patient would be better for you,”
since marriage to slave-girls entails risks in respect of the upbringing of the children
which result from it. Islam desires strong progeny who will grow up with dignity,
honour and clear lineage and establish Muslim society on firm foundations. That is
why the basis of all marriages must be thoroughly sound. Otherwise, it is better to be
patient with your sexual desire and to remain abstinent, a policy endorsed by Allah in
Surat an Nur when He says:

“Those who cannot find the means to marry should be abstinent until Allah enriches
them from His unbounded favour.” (Surah an Noor: Ayah 33)

This call for abstinence and purity is only demanded when a man does not possess
adequate financial means to marry. However, when he has the means, marriage
becomes an obligatory duty in the Shari’ah. Listen to the guidance of the noble
Prophet [peace be upon him] regarding the necessity and importance of marriage. It
is related from Anas ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, that he heard the
Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “Whosoever
wants to meet Allah pure and purified should marry free women.”

Abu Ayyub, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the Messenger of Allah, may
Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Four things are part of the sunan of the
Messengers: henna, perfume, siwak and marriage.”

‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al ‘As, may Allah be pleased with both of them, said that the
Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “This world is
passing enjoyment. One of the best kinds of provision it contains is a woman who
helps her husband regarding the Next World. A poor man is one who has no wife and
a poor woman is on who has no husband.”

Abu Umamah, May Allah be pleased with him, said that the Prophet, may Allah bless
him and grant him peace, said, “There is nothing more beneficial to a believer after
fear of Allah Almighty than a virtuous wife. When he orders her to do something, she
obeys. When he looks at her, she delights him. When he requests her to do
something, she carries it out. When he is absent from her, she is faithful to him both
n respect of herself and his property.”

Anas, May Allah be pleased with him, related that the Prophet, may Allah bless him
and grant him peace, said,” Any man whom Allah provides with a virtuous wife has
been helped to half his Deen, so he should fear Allah regarding the other half.”

Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, related that the Prophet, may Allah
bless him and grant him peace, said, “There are three people whom it is mandatory
for Allah to help: someone who does jihad in the way of Allah, a slave who has been
given a contact to free himself and desires to fulfil it and someone who marries out of
the desire to preserve his chastity.”

Abu Buhayh, may Allah be pleased with him, related that the Prophet, may Allah
bless him and grant him peace, said, “Whoever is affluent should marry. If he does
not marry, he is not with me.”

Anas ibn Malik, May Allah be pleased with him, said “A group of people came to the
houses of the wives of the prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, to ask
about the worship of the Prophet. When they were told, it seemed that they thought
that the amount was not sufficient. They said, ‘Where are we in relation to the
Prophet?’Allah has forgiven him his past and future errors,’ One of them declared, ‘As
for myself, I will pray all night,’ Another said, ‘I will fast continually and never break
it.’ Another said, ‘I will withdraw from women and never marry.’ The Messenger of
Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace came to them and said, ‘Are you the
people who said such and such? By Allah, I have more fear of Allah than you and
more awareness of Him, but I fast and break the fast, and sleep, and marry women.
Anyone who is averse to my Sunna is not with me.’”

The importance of marriage in Islam.

The reasons for the immense importance held by marriage in the life of the Muslims
are summarised in the following points:

It is obedience to the command of Allah, who says in the Quran: “Marry those
among you who are unmarried and your slaves and slave girls who are righteous. If
they are poor Allah will enrich them from His overflowing favour.” (Surah an Noor:
Ayah 32)

• It is following the guidance of our beloved Prophet [peace be upon him] and the
Messengers of Allah since Allah Almighty said in His description of the Messengers:
“We sent Messengers before you and gave them wives and children too” (Surah ar
Ra’d: Ayah 38). An aspect of Allah’s love for the human race lies in enabling them
to have children perpetuate the human species. The child is the goal of both the legal
contract and the physical pleasure it sanctions. However, there is no pleasure in the
life of the Muslim which does not entail subsequent responsibility as shown in this
case by the upbringing of children.

• It gives repose and delight to the soul since sitting with, looking at, and playing
with one’s spouse allows the heart to relax and strengthens it for worship. Without
this the soul would grow wearied and turn away from the truth. The Almighty says:
“Among His signs is that He created for you spouses from yourselves so that you
might find repose with them. And He has placed between you affection and mercy. In
that there are certainly signs for people who reflect.” (Surah ar Rum: Ayah 22).

• It fortifies the heart against Shaytan by satisfying sexual desire and therefore
averting the dangers of unbridled sexual appetite. It is like an impregnable fortress
which protects the Muslims from fortification and so saves them from falling into
abyss which plunges people into the lower levels of Hellfire in this world before the
Next. There is no more effective way of dealing with sexual energy.

• It provides an arena for combating and disciplining the lower self through taking
care of the family and looking after their needs, putting up with their faults and
failings, and striving to bring them up well and guide them to the right path. The
Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: “What a man spends
on his family is sadaqa.” He said, “A man is rewarded for the mouthful he gives to his
wife.”

Truly man should be amazed at the wisdom of the way his lord deals with the sexual
instinct. It allows the sexual appetite to be satisfied, provides man with progeny and
encourages him to strive on behalf of his family. Every aspect of the human self is
taken into account and the result is a pure fruit whose fragrance permeates all parts
of Muslim society Muslims are encouraged to satisfy their sexual instinct and by
doing so achieve good in this world and the Next. This made the leaders among the
Companions and the Followers eager to marry as they were to please Allah and His
Messenger. ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “I force myself to have
sexual intercourse hoping that Allah will bring forth by means of it another human
being to glorify and remember Him.”

Ibn Mas’u d, may Allah be pleased with said, “Even if only ten days of my life
remained, I would still get married because I would not like to meet Allah unmarried.”
He also said, Seek wealth through marriage in conformity with the words of Allah, ‘If
they are poor Allah will enrich them from His overflowing favour’ (Surah an Noor:
Ayah 32)”.

Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal said, “Anyone who calls on you not to marry has called
you to do something other than Islam.”He, May Allah have mercy on him, married
two days after the death of his wife and said, “I do not want to spend a night as an
unmarried man.”

(Dealing with Lust and Greed according to Islam, Shaykh ‘Abd al Hamid
Kishk)