TRIGONOMETRY

Written by
Sean Hood

Based on the prompts: neurosis, ultimatum, an awkward gift

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM - DAY

MS. DABCHICK (48) an uninspired math teacher, wears a blue
pants suit, a resigned expression, and no make-up.
As she sits behind a grey metal desk and grades quizzes, her
students file out of her classroom.
She notices that a single student lingers behind after the
others exit. Its NIGEL (16), a short, neurotic boy with
flushed cheeks. He stares persistently at his shoes.
Yes Nigel?

MS. DABCHICK

Nigel mumbles softly and rapidly, without pause.

NIGEL
I-just-I-dont-know-the-best-way-tosay-this-because-theres-no-commonsocietal-norm-that-realy-fits...
MS. DABCHICK
What? Slow down.
NIGEL
...although-I-guess-you-could-saythat-theres-an-isomorphism-so-tospeak-between-accepted-rituals-and...
MS. DABCHICK
Nigel, is this about your quiz?
NIGEL
...though-its-not-one-to-one-so-Ireally-dont-know-the-protocol-tofollow-here-so-Im-just-improvising.
Weary and impatient, Ms. Dabchick returns to her work.
MS. DABCHICK
I havent graded your quiz yet.
Youll get it back tomorrow.
NIGEL
(blurting out)
I bought you a present!
Ms. Dabchick sees it there on her desk - a small BOX wrapped
with blue wrapping paper and crowned with a bow.
NIGEL (CONTD)
(mutters)
This-is-awkward.

2.
MS. DABCHICK
A present? What... for?
NIGEL
Its-just-that-that-it-its-justthat-its-just-that-that...
MS. DABCHICK
Nigel. Breathe.
NIGEL
(deep breath)
This is my favorite class. I-neverthough-really-that-I-could...
(deep breath)
I never thought I could do math
before, but-the-way-you-teach-it,
its-easy-for-the-first-time...
(deep breath)
I feel smart. Like Im not the dumb
kid in the back row anymore. I
wanted to thank you.
Ms. Dabchick blinks and then sits back. She looks genuinely
touched. She even smiles, despite herself.
MS. DABCHICK
Nigel, I dont know what to say.
Youre more than welcome. And,
youre not dumb at all. Youre one
of my best students this semester.
Nigel breaks into a tentative, hopeful grin. He looks up
eagerly to see his teacher start to unwrap the paper.
NIGEL
You know its crazy. Sometimes I
actually dream about trig.
MS. DABCHICK
(laughing)
Oh come on. You do not.
Ms. Dabchick picks at the wrapping paper but has trouble
finding a place to tear.
NIGEL
No. I do! I dream about periodic
functions and graphing the sine
wave. But then the sine wave
becomes water. Flowing dark water.
Ms. Dabchick lifts up the present. Its surprisingly heavy.

3.
NIGEL (CONTD)
There are variables and radians and
identities-floating-in-the-water
like-a-viscous-mathematical-fluid.
Ms. Dabchick tears open the paper. Something shifts inside
the plane brown box and makes squishy sound.
She touches the lid of the box, but hesitates.
NIGEL (CONTD)
And-I-am-swimming-in-the-numbersswiming-in-the-liquid-and...
(deep breath)
YOURE-there-too-swimming-with-meand-were-so-happy-together...
Abruptly, Ms. Dabchick pushes the box away without opening it.
MS. DABCHICK
Nigel, I cant accept this.
Suddenly, Nigel darkens. Stares back down at his shoes, his
voice now deeper, his words clear and clipped.
Why not?

NIGEL

Beat. Ms. Dabchick is alarmed at his shift in tone. Her voice

is now wispy and tremulous.
MS. DABCHICK
Because it would be inappropriate.
Nigel becomes as motionless as a statue. Ms. Dabchick looks
more and more anxious as the silence goes on and on. She
tries to speak but cant find the words.
Then abruptly, Nigel snatches up the scorned gift.
NIGEL
(Shrugging)
Okay. Whatever.
He storms to the door and exits the classroom with his box.
Ms. Dabchick just sits in stunned bewilderment...
CUT TO BLACK: