Salinas/ENC 1101 Assignment for diagnostic revision Length: Revise the initial drafts of your diagnostic and

any additional prewriting you’ve done into a 6-8 paragraph essay. The main criteria for your grade on this assignment is ORGANIZATION. You’ve assembled a lot of interesting ideas on your topic by this point, but they’re probably disconnected, so the goal is to cut down, reorganize and rewrite until your essay develops clear main ideas that follow a logical pattern. Mold sentences into paragraphs that hold together; mold paragraphs into a single piece of writing that holds together. Like a sculptor carving a face out of a piece of marble, give your disorganized ideas structure. Your essay must include the following: *A narrow and specific thesis statement (probably either in the introduction or conclusion). *A clear introduction and conclusion that reinforce your thesis. *At least 4 body paragraphs with clear topic sentences. MAKE SURE TO UNDERLINE BOTH YOUR THESIS STATEMENT AND TOPIC SENTENCES. Again, here’s a formula that might be helpful. Remember to ask yourself what parts of this formula you can bend—without breaking your essay. Remember that if you just copy the formula, you may be limiting the potential of your ideas. There is no formula for a great essay. Formulas can’t hold great ideas. These are just guidelines.

Introduction Thesis: My trip to New York helped me realize what kind of lifestyle I want for the future.


TS: Visiting Several news organizations showed me the excitement of a career in journalism.

Fast pace

TS: I was also impressed by the constant movement of people and vehicles through the city.


TS: Finally, my trip showed me that having contact with people of different cultures and races is enriching.

*NOTICE HOW EACH BODY PARAGRAPH GOES BACK TO THE THESIS. As you reorganize your essay, think about writing it in the form of a letter. Address the letter directly to a person who might be causing the problem; someone who might be able to help you; someone whom you want to thank or acknowledge; or just someone willing listen. It can be a friend, a family member, a public official, or a co-worker, just to name a few examples. You might need to do a little research or get creative to find the right person to address. Notice, however, that you can probably keep much of what you have written. *If you send the letter and/or receive a response, you can get extra credit. *This assignment begins to give us an idea of the importance of communication and writing in our everyday lives.