4182006 Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere!

My name is Chris and a hundred years from now, everyone will gather around a fountain to talk about this issue of Falls. SmackDown! Analysis I was in Las Vegas this weekend and so I didn’t get to watch SD!, though I did have a chat with Joyce and Arnie Katz, long-time fans who used to do a fanzine called The Main Event. We discussed the Randy Orton situation, which is still rather bothersome to me. SmackDown! handled it rather poorly from a storyline point of view, and that’s what I want to talk about. WWE.com, a fine site, reported a couple of days after WrestleMania that Randy Orton was being suspended from the WWE for 60 days. They announced it and then he wrestled the next night on SD!. The big problem was they did not initially say that he was being suspended for 60 starting on the 12th, but it got out and I think they put it on the site a few days later. It was the most talked about think in wrestling. Randy Orton has been a bad boy with issues. He’s been a pain in Johnny Ace’s neck for ages now. He has always treated the WWE divas badly, and it’s been said that Christy Hemme complained and it came down to a ‘Him or Me’ situation, and Randy Orton won that battle. Here’s the problem: they came up with an injury angle in his match with Kurt Angle. I’ve heard very good things about the match that Randy worked very hard and did the job exceptionally well. He’s always does well in the ring and he’s not being suspended for his ring work and having Kurt Angle go nuts and hurt Randy with his Ankle Lock is a good idea, but not as a way of writing Randy out of the storylines. They had already announced that he was suspended, so why didn’t they play that up? Unless they’re not planning on bringing him back, and there is talk that might in fact be the case, they should have had him do one interview, maybe beat someone up maybe film a backstage thing that got over that he was being suspended for something storyline related, and then have him go and come back with actual heel heat. That would be a good idea, but I guess they were more interested in making Kurt mean again. NEWS Well, UFC Ultimate Fighter ratings were 1.3, and the TNA rating was 1.2. TUF wasn’t a good rating considering. TNA’s rating was a really good rating. Go figure. RAW The best RAW in ages. I really liked it and I’m still wondering what’s next. We opened with Vince McMahon opening his McMahonist Church. It’s a bad idea that gets worse. People we bored by it, and so was I. Later, HHH said that he should lay-off the God stuff. The buzz is that H is gonna go face, and he probably should, and for once he’s for it. If they could send 2006’s H back in time and have him turn after Randy won the belt in 2004, that would work.

After the McMahon stuff, we were given Rob Conway, whose push needs to come again, taking on Kane. Kane destroyed him and got a face reaction for it. When Lillian Garcia said something about May 19th, the day Kane’s movie opens, he flipped out and would have chokeslammed her if Show hadn’t made the save. They faced off again and this time Show chokeslammed Kane. Lillian left and The Coach did the ring announcing, leaving us without him at the announce booth, which improved things. In a nice touch, they had Chavo Jr. talking with Jim Ross. They did these in the 1990s with Goldust and Mick Foley and they both helped the guys become bigger. Chavo said that he was hasty in his retiring over one loss, and Ross said that Eddie wouldn’t approve of it either. I kinda like the way this one’s going and I hope that they keep pushing Chavo. He’s talented and in a way he was always in Eddie’s shadow (except in WCW when he was Crazy Chavo) In a treat and a half, Charlie Haas returned and beat my man Shelton Benjamin. This was to decide what would be at stake, Benjamin’s IC title or RVD’s Money in the Bank shot. The match was really good, and the announcers were playing it up that they didn’t know where Haas had been since he left the WWE a little over a year ago. They played up their being former tag champs, but not nearly enough for my taste. Benjamin was on and Haas has always been good. Benjamin did some RVD moves, but he missed the Senton and Haas cradles him for the win. Nice storyline and they’ve managed to rebuild Shelton a bit after the Mama fiasco. Shawn Michaels lost to Umaga in a terrible match. Umaga was booked to come off as a mega-heel, and he did in a way, but the crowd wasn’t buying it. Then, they had Vince come out and everytime he was about to attack Michaels, who was tied up in the ropes, they had a cornerpost explosion. So, I guess for the first time in my life, I can say that God made the save. That was stupid and I can’t wait until this angle is done and gone. Matt Striker (who I once called Jeff Stryker) did a cheap heat gimmick where he said that the good people of St. Louis were all illitrit and Carlito came out and mocked Matt. It was great and Carlito was treated as a solid face. They’ve really got something in him, they have. Masters ran out and gave Carlito the Masterlock. It would be interesting to see Carlito be the one who breaks the lock. They had the Spirit Squad beat RVD. This was really bad. It’ll be Belt vs. Money in the Bank in Shelton vs. RVD. This was the best part of the show. Mickie James…I mean Trish Stratus dressed as Mickie James and looking all sorts of hot, did an interview saying that she had a surprise waiting for Trish Stratus…I mean Mickie James dressed as Trish. Trish was so great doing the little interview. It’s not a testament to Trish’s acting, but to the distinction they gave the Mickie James character. In the ring, there was a giant present and they had them open to reveal Trish’s ex boyfriend Jack. Now, she called out Mickie and said that if she was actually Trish and not Mickie that she would care about Jack and if she is really

Mickie that she would figure out that she didn’t much care about Jack. Jack said they were both crazy. Mickie-Trish then screamed at Trish-Mickie to get her hands off of her boyfriend. They fought a little with Trish-Mickie getting the better of it. After that, Mickie-Trish said that Jack had cheated on her and kicked him in the head. Wow, that was a lot of fun. Again, the Main Event was Edge and Cena vs. HHH in a handicapped match. It wasn’t a great match, but they told a real story. It’s amazing that they can do the same basic match concept three times in three weeks and make it work. It had strong build and decent heat. HHH got pinned when Edge speared him. A good show and RAW has been on a roll. I can’t fault the Mickie-Trish stuff at all. I love the way they’re doing it. That’s all for this week. Next week I’ll have more good stuff.